Nestlines

How to Experience Endless Love

nestlines@gmail.com (Nestlines) — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 08:11:00 -0800

“It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell and, giving out nothing, receive nothing and therefore shrink until life is a mere living death.”

APPRECIATION IS THE BEST FOREPLAY

"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." — Helen Keller
I've loved Meg for more than 30 years now, but I've not always been a great appreciator of her. In fact, for many years, I took her for granted. She was a pleasant, welcome and steady part of my life for more days than I can count, but so was our house, the kids and the dog. I expected her to be there every day when I came home from work, and she was. I sold us both short by not actively enjoying being with her.
In recent years, I've learned to fully appreciate her. For me, appreciation begins with deeply noticing: really focusing and drinking in some particular aspect of her being: the way her earrings match her eyes; the warmth of her body; or the smell of her hair. When I actively notice, I become more alert to her being. I'm tuned in and turned on.
Then I tell her how much I appreciate her. I offer more than a lazy "You look nice today." Instead I get very specific about what I am noticing, and how I feel. High quality appreciation is specific, to the point, and measurable -- whether it's in the office or in the bedroom. And, it's one of the three things we discovered was lacking in our relationship when we took a good look at it.
For years, I have also brought her coffee or tea in bed every morning. She tells me that simple move created connection even in the times when we've felt distant.

MAN UP

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever." — The Notebook

My wife is a super capable and strong woman -- she raised three kids by herself for long periods while I was wrapped up in my career. And, she still loves it when I take the wheel, whether that's cooking dinner or planning the vacation or cleaning the basement. One of the best turn-on lines I know is: "I've got this handled" -- and then following through.
Taking responsibility means looking at what I can do to create the situation I want -- whether that's a clean kitchen, higher income or great sex -- and then taking action. It means dropping complaints and picking up the slack. It means looking for what's needed at any moment and then supplying it.

THE TRUTH WILL TURN YOU ON

"You know when you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." — Dr. Seuss
One thing that is guaranteed to create distance between people -- whether at work or in the boudoir -- is keeping a secret. People just know when we are holding something back and it kills trust. And if you're really going all the way with someone at work or in bed, you've got to trust them.
My favorite way to think of intimacy is with the mnemonic "into-me-see." The more I allowed Meg to see into me, the closer we became, and the more energetic our connection grew.
I started small, like letting her know I actually hated broccoli (a frequent dinner staple) and then admitting to some poor spending decisions. I eased into the bigger things that I was truly afraid to reveal for fear they would tear us apart. They didn't, and in most cases Meg had already figured out the secrets anyway. Revealing those secrets was like splitting the atom: it released huge amounts of energy that had gone into concealing and put it to use for loving.

"And remember, as it was written, to love another person is to see the face of God." — Les Miserables
“The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.”
― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

The Art of Happiness

nestlines@gmail.com (Nestlines) — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 08:04:00 -0800

The Art of Happiness

The concept of Happiness has long been mistaken as a satisfaction derived from mundane things . Abraham Lincoln denies this premise by quoting “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be. It is something you cultivate from the inside"

Martha Washington quotes “ I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.”

Proverbs 16:20 "He that handles a matter wisely shall find good: and whoever trusts in the LORD, happy is he".

In the book ‘The art of Happiness’ the writer states, “We most acknowledge the concepts that the purpose of life is happiness, that happiness is determined more by the state of one’s mind than by one’s external conditions, circumstances, or events—at least once one’s basic survival needs are met and that happiness can be achieved through the systematic training of our hearts and minds”.
Training the mind: In this context includes intellect and feeling, heart and mind. “By bringing about a certain inner discipline we can undergo a transformation of our attitude, our entire outlook and approach to living”
We need to see happiness as an objective: people setting goals and working to achieve them thus creating happiness in oneself.

“If you harbor hateful thoughts or intense anger deep within yourself, then it ruins your health; thus it destroys one of the factors for happiness”

We are born into a certain state of mind about happiness, but we can change our outlook by being happier in each moment. For example, we can find more happiness with ourselves through self-worth. Self-worth is having a source of affection, compassion, and a sense of dignity . We need a strong sense of contentment to feel happier without obtaining objects, which assists in finding self-worth.

Try not to want!!!. If you know something may tempt you avoid it.
Psalms 23 of the Holy Bible resonates this “The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing, thy shall not want”. Positive desires are good.

“We have to maintain an attitude of friendship and warmth in order to lead a way of life in which there is enough interaction with other people to enjoy a happy life”. The purpose isn’t to create tension but a positive atmosphere. This gives our life meaning, which leads to overall happiness. That positive atmosphere can be found through closeness and compassion.
Define compassion as a state of mind that is nonviolent, nonharming, and nonaggressive. "Cultivating compassion and joy is not a linear process; it's organic, like growing flower”. If you work regularly at decreasing your compulsive desires and narcissism while also striving to develop compassion, it is like weeding and then planting, fertilizing, and watering seeds in your garden.
Big results do not come immediately. However, if you choose a few of these methods and practice them each day or each week for a while, gradually you will see beautiful results. “There is nothing more marvelous than the flowering of compassion in our hearts and relationships." These wise words come from Lorne Ladner.
In one of the most startling chapters, Ladner points out that gratitude and sensing one's own inner wealth are important practices for developing happiness and compassion. Some of the obstacles to its cultivation are the compulsive desire to be liked and accepted by others, not taking care of ourselves, and self-hatred
Compassion creates self-acceptance, forgiveness, well-being and lays the foundations for developing an adaptable happiness that cannot be swayed by life circumstances and challenges.
Compassion helps you be more connected to the world, more present, less afraid. “It rewires brains and heals prejudice” Christopher Hansard
Accepting another's suffering brings that person a sense of connectedness and gives us a willingness to reach out for others. Associating oneself with this type of fundamental rights generates love and compassion. “the feeling of genuine compassion is much stronger, much wider [and] has a profound quality” . Using genuine compassion creates a special connection that you cannot achieve with associating compassion with attachments. “Compassion provides the basis of human survival”

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude”.
Denis Waitley.

Don’t worry, Be happy and stay blessed.

I Am the American Flag

nestlines@gmail.com (Nestlines) — Wed, 15 Jan 2014 04:11:00 -0800

May 26, 2008

I Am the American Flag

By Robert H. Schuller

Twenty-nine years ago today I delivered a message entitled, "I Am The American Flag." The world has changed dramatically in these years, but the sentiment is as strong now as it was then. The American Flag makes a statement...

I am the American Flag. I will speak from the wisdom of a long life. I first felt the vigor of wind in my multi-colored face when I unfurled my thirteen stars over two hundred years ago. I look down to see horses with their clattering hooves pulling rattling carriages over cobblestone streets. Since then I have looked up to see silver jets streak across stunning skies of blue.

I have known over forty presidents. I have unfurled my pride on sailing ships, steamers and mighty vessels of armed power to bring peace and freedom to oppressed people of the world. I have traveled far — farther than any other flag in history. Across continents, oceans, deserts and on the chilly snow-white tip of a mighty Saturn with its blazing engines until I stood proudly to soar through the silent seas of space and stand on the gray surface of the shinning moon.