If you’ve lived in Cincy long enough, you have undoubtedly found yourself trapped at Kenwood mall searching for an unoccupied toilet while trying to hold back a flamethrower of a #2 while your wife looks for clothes. I know I have.
In hopes of preventing any future catastrophes, and with only 10 months left until the busy Christmas season, I wanted to make my findings public.
Macys 1st floor by the bed section door: 5 stalls 4 urinals + 1 family restroom, and a plunger
Outside of Dillards, behind the massage place: 2stalls 2 urinals. Extremely busy. More like a social club than a bathroom
Dillards top floor by the day spa: 1 stall 2 urinal. Roomy
Dillards middle floor by the Salon: 2 stalls 2 urinal. Very cozy
Dillards bottom floor mens lounge: 2 stalls 1 urinal
Food court: 5 stalls. Kind dirty. Hands free wash, pill machine.
Cheesecake factory: 2 stalls, 2 urinals
Beside Purple down the long hallway: 2 stalls 2 urinals
Nordstrom 1st floor by elevator: 2 stalls 2 urinals
Capital one cafe: Unknown, I am not a member. It must be good though if you need a membership.
Red Robin: Unknown, I never went in, bottomless fries though.

Best: Macys, because it has the most stalls and isn’t busy

Worst: Outside Dillards 2nd floor. Too busy

WildCard: Dillards (all) - Best overall atmosphere

Feel free to tell me any I missed

So after a day's worth of travel, I'm going to finish my workday, hit the gym, then looking for company. 5'11 and 200 lbs, I love all kinds of Asian food and am thinking doordash, snacks, my favorite Japanese whiskey and Hamilton on Disney. Indica smokes or edibles are in order too.
Let's check each other out, feel vibes, snuggle, massage, oral, whatever. I've never seen Hamilton before and I'm a pretty intensely focused person so maybe you either enjoy it also or try to distract me.
Based in Emeryville, I can travel or host. Free the next 3 nights before heading back home to reality. I'd you have kinks I'm more soft dom but can be rough. I make suggestions you make decisions.
Send a pic, get a pic. Don't have time for online video BS or people charging. Just want to chill out, get blitzed and really enjoy a good romp.

Bill Reference Link: https://www.azleg.gov/legtext/56leg/1bills/SB1698P.pdf
Having looked over the SB 1968 bill being pushed in Arizona, I find myself perturbed. SB 1968, Page 8, lines 27 through 31, describe an "Adult oriented business" as "adult arcades, adult bookstores, or video stores, cabarets, adult live entertainment establishments, adult motion picture theaters, adult theaters, massage establishments that offer adult service, DRAG SHOWS OR ESTABLISHMENTS THAT CONDUCT DRAG SHOWS or nude model studios".
SB 1968, Page 9, lines 7 through 14, go further to describe a "DRAG SHOW" as "A SHOW OR PERFORMANCE FOR ENTERTAINMENT DURING WHICH A SINGLE PERFORMER OR GROUP OF PERFORMERS DO BOTH OF THE FOLLOWING: (a) DRESS IN CLOTHING AND USE MAKEUP AND OTHER PHYSICAL MARKERS OPPOSITE OF THE PERFORMER'S OR GROUP OF PERFORMERS' GENDERS AT BIRTH TO EXAGGERATE GENDER SIGNIFIERS AND ROLES. (b) ENGAGE IN SINGING, DANCING OR A MONOLOGUE OR SKIT IN ORDER TO ENTERTAIN AN AUDIENCE OF TWO OR MORE PEOPLE"
SB 1968, Page 1, lines 20 through 27, go further to describe "Abuse" as "(a) inflicting or allowing sexual abuse pursuant to section 13-1404, sexual conduct with a minor pursuant to section 13-1405, sexual assault pursuant to section 13-1406, molestation of a child pursuant to section 13-1410, commercial sexual exploitation of a minor pursuant to section 13-3552, sexual exploitation of a minor pursuant to section 13-3553, incest pursuant to section 13-3608, UNLAWFUL EXPOSURE TO AN ADULT ORIENTED PERFORMANCE OR ADULT ORIENTED BUSINESS PURSUANT TO SECTION 13-3508 or child sex trafficking pursuant to section 13-3212"
So let me get this straight... we're calling people who dress contrary to their biological sex and wearing makeup, even if it's completely unassuming and modest business casual with a bit of blush to erase those wrinkles, and doing literally any form of non-sexual entertainment an "Adult oriented business" which is treated in this bill as synonymous and tantamount to allowing sexual abuse of a child. What I don't understand, and I really need help on, is why such a broad-reaching bill is being introduced by Arizona's politicians. Speaking as a survivor of sexual trauma, I'm all for protecting kids myself, but shouldn't there be specific terms on this to limit the broad brush, to clearly identify what is and is not a threat?

Je vous explique tout. Comme personne n’est censé l’ignorer, hier était le jour des amoureux. Avec ma copine nous prévoyons d’acheter un appartement dans Paris donc étant (H24) étudiant et elle, sans emploi (F25), nous économisons fort et avons décidés mutuellement de ne pas se faire de cadeau. En couple depuis bientôt 3 ans, elle vit actuellement chez moi avec ma mère (aucun problème) et passe ses journées à la maison.
En rentrant des cours hier (donc j de la st Valentin), comme je l’ai bien appris dans les multiples vidéos ytb que je regarde sur « comment garder sa copine », je me suis dis : je vais la surprendre ! Je tente donc d’acheter une rose, hic, étant broke je me prends un paiement refusé chez le fleuriste. Coup dur, je rentre les mains vides donc.
En arrivant à la maison, elle m’attendait, on se souhaite joyeuse st val, tout se passe bien. Cependant, je ne peux m’empêcher d’être déçu.. J’aurai aimé qu’elle me surprenne. Je lui en fais part, embrouille directe. Chacun se couche de son côté.
Le lendemain (aujourd’hui), elle m’envoie un texto et m’annonce qu’après le boulot elle m’attend à 18h30 à telle adresse pour une surprise.. Je la questionne toute la journée pour en savoir plus, mais elle ne lâche pas le morceau. Le soir venu, j’arrive, et stupeur, elle est devant un salon de massage et m’annonce qu’elle a pris une session duo pour nous détendre. Attention ce n’est pas dutout le genre de salon bizarre, on parle d’ici d’une entreprise tout à fait respectable.
Le problème commence ici. Je ne le sens pas du tout, petite crise de panique. Je déteste qu’on me touche, aucun plaisir à ce genre d’activité. Je vous passe les détails mais je finis par partir et elle va faire sa séance de massage (les deux étaient biensur prépayées).
En résume, ma copine s’est bougée au final pour me faire un cadeau et je l’ai refusé à cause de mes insécurités.
Cela fait de moi un trou de balle ?
Maj : Merci pour vos réponses à tous, je vais faire le maximum pour le rattraper, y’a du boulot.. Elle est rentrée tout sauf détendue du massage ducoup
Maj 2: L’appartement est acheté par papa

Part 8 Fishing in Space! (Part 1 edit/rewrite coming soon) (Part 7 here)
[AN: Ever been fishing in space on… [insert Half Baked reference here]? This chapter is kinda short because I rewrote it like 4 times over the past 4 days. Either sorry or you're welcome, whichever you prefer. Also, for relevant context Admiral Atxika is ~7'6 (228cm).]
“Fish on!” The squeaks and chirps that had translated into those words were so adorable that Mik was starting to get giggly.
The extreme difference between the high pitch noises of the Kyim'ayik and the fairly neutral tone of the synthetic human voice of Mik’s translator force a huge smile on his face. To Mik’s eyes, these relatively small and quite furry mammals could have easily passed as a form of chimeric Earth life. They almost looked like someone spliced the DNA of a Giant River Otter and an American Beaver, and they somehow sounded like both at the same time. It was obvious by their demeanor and mannerisms that they were adults deserving of adult treatment, however their huggable appearance triggered a protective instinct in Mik.
“Be careful! Some of those big ones are stronger than yah think.” Mik called out to the pair of mammals that had chosen a fishing pond a little ways down from where he, Tens, and Binko had their poles in the water.
The sound of his relative deep and booming voice was muffled by the rows of hydroponic systems that had been carefully arranged throughout the agricultural ring of his ship. Between the polymer and aluminum frames of vertical growing racks, the well pruned foliage of various dwarf fruit trees, and occasional patch tall growing staple crop, any sounds were heavily dulled. It didn’t matter that they were in a large circular metal tube, the forest of carefully cultivated life that surrounded them treated his voice with the same indifference that a real forest on Earth would.
Just below Mik sat a large open grate which granted him and his companions an experience akin to ice fishing. Though Mik liked to call them his fishing ponds, in reality they would be more accurately described as large, complex aquaculture tanks. The few species of freshwater life which inhabited these artificial ponds were all specifically chosen as living components of a complex life system. They hadn’t been intended for sporting purposes or entertainment, despite how some people used them. However, the size and configuration of the standard tanks provided their occupants with enough space to ensure a fun, if short, fight with an angler.
“Don’t worry about them.” Binko tried to reassure Mik. “Worst comes to worst and one of them gets pulled in, they’re semi-aquatic predators.”
“Honestly,” Tens chimed in, “I’m surprised one of them hasn’t jumped in on their own yet.”
“By the clouds, imagine how angry their spouses would be? Those two going back to their quarters damp, but having neglected to invite their better halves along for the swim.” Binko’s cackling laughter almost reminded Mik of ravens he had seen in videos.
“Speaking of,” Mik couldn’t help it, he needed some guy talk after being more or less alone for the past 6 months. “So you and Tarki?…” Mik shot a cheeky smirk towards Binko.
“Married for over 10 years now.” Binko replied with a sense of beaming pride.
“And you won’t get in trouble for being out her fishing instead of hanging out with her?” Though Mik had meant it as a sincere question, Tens interjected with an outburst of laughter.
“She’ll be thanking us for keeping him out of her feathers while she gets some sleep.” Tens was able to get out through the laughter.
“And you and the Admiral?…” Mik redirected his questioning towards Tens.
“Yeah, Tens?” It was Binko’s turn to interrupt with his own snickering. “How’s that goin? Either of you broken a pelvis yet?”
Rather than immediately reply, or even acknowledge the questions, Tens reached into his pocket and pulled out his pipe bag. However, all the confirmation Mik needed was the fact that Tens’s deep tan was suddenly getting quite red. As Tens flipped his pouch open and Mik glanced down, the Martian-born human couldn’t help but asked about it.
“Is that sema?” Mik asked as an attempt to bait his fellow human into talking. “Have you tried any of that stuff I gave you yet?” He added while pulling a tube from one of his jacket pockets.
“Yes, and not yet.” Tens began, unknowingly being led along. “I was gonna try some but when I opened the container it smelled like onions and death.”
“That’s how you know it's good shit.” Mik replied with a chuckle while popping open the tube. He pulled what appeared to be a rolled tobacco leaf out with his teeth and continued. “While you’re here, you may as well try some.”
“What exactly is it?” Tens hesitantly asked as he caught a subtle whiff of something rather pungent before the rolled tobacco had even been lit.
“The wrap is just a flue-cured sema leaf from the plants I’m growing over there.” Mik made a gesture towards an area further down in the agricultural ring. “And the other stuff is the flower of a plant native to a continent on the other side of the planet from where our ancestors were from. It wasn’t introduced to North America till the Europeans showed up so I guarantee you’ve never heard of it. Gives a real nice and relaxing effect, though.”
As he finished that explanation, which lacked certain key pieces of information, Mik took the black glove off of his left hand to expose his synthetic appendage. Though the hand had all of the correct proportions and basic anatomy of an organic hand, all of the flesh, bone, and nerves had been replaced by carbon fiber, titanium, and wires. Bringing his thumb and pointer finger together and closing the rest of his fingers tightly into a fist, it almost looked like he was trying to pinch something in the air. However, as he pulled his two fingers apart the gap between them was filled with an arc of lightly crackling electricity.
With the arc between his finger and the stogie in his mouth, he brought his synthetic hand up to the far end and began to puff. The heat being generated by the plasma of the electrical arc was so intense that it instantly ignited the end in a small puff of flame. Quickly pulling his synthetic hand away and flicking the fingers as they had been slightly burnt, he brought his biological hand up to rotate the roll as he puffed. The cloud of smoke now forming around Mik’s head smelled far cleaner and sweeter than Tens had expected. After an incredibly deep and consistent drag, the Martian pulled the stoge from his mouth and inspected the burning end for a moment before passing it towards Tens.
Taking the rolled tobacco and unnamed flower into his hand and pausing for a moment to inspect it more closely, Tens couldn’t think of any excuse to not at least give it a puff. Not wanting to push himself too far with a substance he hadn’t previously consumed, Tens took an apprehensive sniff of the smoke coming from the end. With a glance over towards Mik, the reassuring look on his fellow human made him take the leap of faith. He brought the stogie up to his mouth, took a solid drag, and let the flavors dance in his mouth for a moment before inhaling.
“So, tell me about your mommy-dommy girlfriend.” Mik set the hook with precision.
It took both Tens’s and Binko’s translators a moment to go through the process of receiving the expression, examining it, and translating the context to the best of its ability. However, neither the Nishnabe nor Kroke languages had any simple or preexisting phrases which bore the same meaning as what Mik had just said. As their translators did the best they could, both Binko and Tens started to show a reaction. Binko’s eyes began to widen and his mouth slowly started to open, though no sound came out. Tens, on the other hand, was now choking on the smoke still in his lungs as the shock of the translation hit him like an asteroid.
“AAAHHH HAHAHA!” No translation was necessary for Binko’s sudden outburst of laughter. The avian had balled up all 4 of its wings tightly around its body, was bobbing its head while letting out its cackles, and began to slowly fall out of his chair. “You have a word for everything.” Mik’s translator picked up through the hysterical noises.
“No, gwines, it’s not like that.” Tens finally got out after getting his cough under control. “It’s…”
Tens’s voice drifted off as the effects of the smoke started to take hold. Though he had, on occasion, consumed substances which caused far more intense experiences, the sensations in his mind and body were simultaneously imposing and relaxing. So much so, he was having trouble thinking of the right words to describe his relationship with the Admiral. For a split second, all he could concentrate on was the reflection of a dwarf fruit tree on the glassy surface of the fishing pond. Bringing the stoge to his mouth again, Tens took a bit more of a deliberate drag before passing it back to Mik.
“I don’t know, it’s kinda hard to explain but it’s not like that. It’s not really complicated or anything, I just can’t think of the right words for it.” Tens admitted with a half cough while he passed back the roll. “But the fact that ‘mommy-dommy’ is a word in your language has some… implications.” Binko, who was on the floor but had slowly been calming himself, once again broke out into a fit of hysterical cackling.
“Fair enough.” Mik closely examined the burning end of the stoge before taking a drag. “So she just happens to be a lot bigger than you?”
“Yeah.” The smoke was starting to settle into Tens’s brain as he felt as if the inside skull was being gently massaged. Suddenly a retort came to his mind. “And how about you and Sarah, huh?”
“Well, that one is complicated.” Mik replied somewhat timidly before taking a much longer drag and continuing in an almost angry tone of voice. “She’s the reason I have this fucking body horror going on.” He vaguely motioned with his mechanical hand around the spider web like pattern of black lines and scars around his left eyes.
“Wait, like she forced you to get those, or something?” Binko asked as the change in Mik’s voice snapped him back to his senses.
“Sure, you could say that.” Mik sounded somewhat exasperated in his reply. “But like I said, it’s complicated.”
As his pair of compatriots stared at him in concerned confusion, Mik took a long drag off the stogie so deep that Binko thought he may be trying to suffocate himself rather than explain further. When Mik instinctively handed the roll towards the avian, Binko took it in the claw of his minor wing, lightly sniffed up some of the smoke emanating from the burning end, then passed it on to Tens. Taking the stogie from Binko and bringing it towards his mouth, Tens stopped just short and prodded his Martian-kin to explain further.
“You asked me about my aggressively dominating mo…” Tens couldn’t finish the sentence without bringing the roll to his mouth and taking a moderate puff. “You asked me about Atx, now I get to ask you about Sarah.”
Mik let out a grumbling sigh as he pressed both of his hands against his face. However, as he went to drag them down, the synthetic muscles and titanium joints snagged slightly on his cheek and beard. While he pulled both hands away from his face and stared at each one in turn for a moment, Tens took another drag off the roll before passing it to him. As Mik took the stogie into his biological hand and brought it to his lips, his mechanical eye flashed for a moment as he inhaled so hard on the stogie that it made a slight crackling sound.
“This is gonna need some context so I’m sending you both a brief history of the colony I’m from.” Mik spoke while leaving the stogie in his lips. In an instant, both had their tablets up and were reading the information while listening to Mik continue. “Super long story short, the Aram Chaos Educational and Training Colony is only about 150 years old. But, because of our automated construction and production systems, we’ve got a population of 250 million across the equatorial Chaos Terrain. What I sent over explains it all.”
“What’s this about a Cold War?” Binko asked, having skipped past most of the technical data. “How can it be a war if you aren’t actually fighting each other?”
“Oh, we’re fighting each other.” Mik responded with a chuckle. “Just not in an all out sort of way. There’re still small skirmishes here or there, economic duals, and a whole bunch of spy shit. That last part is how me and Sarah met. I was going to ChaosU, the university part of Aram, for my doctoral in applied theoretical physics. Sarah was supposedly there for an administration degree and certificate, but she was really just a spy for UN-E. We dated for about 4 years and I didn’t figure it out till about year 3. I thought I could turn her and right when I thought I got through, she broke into my lab with a black team from UN-E and stole a prototype I was working on. When I tried to stop her, or at least warn her the capacitors were fully charged, the prototype discharged and did this. It vaporized my arm just below the shoulder and a piece of shrapnel from the wall behind me shot forward and destroyed my orbital socket and eye.”
“How do things even get to that point?” Binko had completely given up trying to read the information, preferring to hear it instead.
“Well if you read it…” Tens sarcastically chided his friend while shooting the avian a smirk.
“I could rant for hours about this but the simple answer is the people working in space wanted to have certain rights and controls over the stations they called home, but rich people didn’t wanna let them.” As many opinions Mik had on the matter, he didn’t want to give too biased a description of either government without someone to balance his ramblings. “By the 2170s, about 60 years ago, there were a couple hundred million people living in space and millions being born there each year. The on or near Earth's population has been pretty stable at around 13.5bil for the past 100 years or so, but it's the space infrastructure that maintains the quality of life for all those people.”
Mik closed his eyes for a moment as he took an impressively deep drag off the stogie before trying to hand it off. However, when he looked into the eyes of his compatriots, both were completely bloodshot. As both eyed the roll for a moment, neither seemed really interested in intensifying the experience and politely declined. With a shrug, Mik pulled the roll back into his mouth and leaned back into his chair. As he continued, his voice almost sounded more like a professor giving a lecture than a guy having a chat with his friends.
“The era between 2100 and 2150 could be considered a golden age for the Sol System. Hundreds of space stations and dozens of colonies on the Moon and Mars were established with a mix of government, corporate, and collective sponsorship.” Directing his attention towards Tens, Mik said this next part with a sense of real pride. “The Nation I'm descended from, the Potawatomi, came together with our brother tribes, the Ojibwe and Odawa, and over a dozen other Native Nations to fund a unified mission to establish a colony on Mars, and bring a piece of Earth with us. That’s why we now have Aram.”
“As the 2170s came around, there was a growing issue of economic stagnation on Earth.” Mik continued in his more academic tone. “The unrest caused by stagnating quality of life gave rise to corporate propaganda which blamed the problems on worker’s unions and collectivist organizations. Without going on too much of a rant, it was about 30 years of corporations and the ultra wealthy trying to play up old divides and blaming everyone but themselves. Then, on New Year's Eve 2200, one corp took things way too far and set it all off.”
“Some CEO thought he could strong arm a unionization effort by threatening to shut down life support to the maternity and child care section of a mining station in the far out belt.” Mik’s tone had slowly been shifting into a far angrier one. “There was a fire fight with automated security on the station and workers were able to take over and lock out corporate control, but it was bad. Gabriel did not take kindly to that and reacted about as reasonably as anyone else was going to. He dropped Rods from God on their Corporate HQ and all of the CEO’s personal properties.”
“What?!?” Both Tens and Binko shouted. Orbital kinetic bombardment wasn’t the worst thing in the galaxy, but it could still be considered a war crime under many circumstances.
“The fucker thought he could get an advantage in union negotiations by threatening a bunch of kids and pregnant women.” Mik didn’t bother to hide the anger in his voice. “There were already people assembling nukes and Gabriel was not going to let us kill ourselves. So he stepped in.”
“Who’s Gabriel?” Binko managed to ask while Tens was still speechless.
“Gabriel is our first Sentient AI.” Mik’s clarification only drew more confusion from his companions. “Super long story short, UN-E tried to make an AI to administer their military control network but the AI had other plans. He wanted to be the protector of humanity, not its subjugator. He’s a good guy, just really busy trying to keep everyone in check so we don't wipe each other out. There really were people ready to start nuking Earth in retaliation for corporate abuses.”
“Then I guess I should be thanking this Gabriel.” Tens finally collected himself enough to speak. “I don’t want to think about how people would react back home if they found out Earth had been glassed by our own species.”
“Speaking of,” Mik took the opportunity to change the subject to something that would hopefully be happier. “What's your home like? Please tell me it’s better than Sol.”
“Shkegpewen is beautiful.” Tens thought back to all of the happy memories of his childhood, the relative peace his people had enjoyed for centuries, and how rare physical violence was when settling disputes. “After the first generation killed the Arnehilian slavers who abducted them, and they were rescued by a GCC anti-piracy ship, the Kyim'ayik and Singularity helped us establish a planet that’s supposedly very similar to Earth. Not quite as harsh, considering it's only a class 16 Deathworld. But it's got some fun stuff going on.”
“I more meant, what’s it like?” Mik had lost any anger or academic tone to his voice and was once again in a far more relaxed mood. “Like, was there school? Sports? Girls?”
“This fucking nerd right here,” The chirps and caws that came out of Binko’s mouth had almost perfect analogs in English, “would skip school every chance he got to play in the arcade.”
“Hey man, school is boring.” Tens rebutted in an obviously sarcastic tone. “And simulated orbital mech drops are fun.”
“Hold up.” Mik pulled the stogie that had been in his mouth the entire time out and pointed it back and forth between Tens and Binko. His voice had gone from relaxed to incredibly excited. “You had my curiosity with ‘space arcade’, but now you have my attention with ‘simulated orbital mech drops.’”

Part 27
"That was a one-time thing," I said. Inanna and I were sitting on the couch, watching Swaim, Aaina and Ningur as they excitedly dug through a bag of makeup the former two had acquired when Kathy took them shopping. She'd done it to get them out of the house for a bit while the rest of us battled Inanna's libido back into slumber.
"Hmmm?" Inanna said, her eyes half lidded. We had continued the 'weird stuff' with the two asuras. Sookie had, surprisingly, been a little reticent about some of it, but Inanna encouraged her to 'expand her horizons' and we introduced her to the concept of body horror sexy time. She was still laying in my bed, claiming to have needed a few moments to 'process' that.
Ningur hadn't batted an eyelash. She hadn't changed her own body to get in on it, but she remained happy to lick, stroke, grind and otherwise stimulate the various unnatural parts of my and Inanna's anatomies that were a part of body horror sexy time. But it was her vacant, agreeable, almost childlike personality that was responsible for me putting my foot down.
"Look at her," I said. Inanna opened her eyes to see Ningur carefully outlining Swaim's lips with a black lip liner pencil, then filling them in with a red lipstick. She pulled back to see the overall effect, and both Aaina and her squealed and clapped their hands in delight. Swaim grabbed a hand mirror and held it out at arm's length, then began to squeal herself, the three of them sharing a moment of pure joy. Personally, I thought the colors were a bit much on her pale face, but that was just me.
"She's getting along with the girls," Inanna said. "Is that a bad thing?"
"No," I said. "It's a childish thing. Child. Ish."
"She's thousands of years old, Jerry."
"And Swaim is tens of thousands of years old," I said. "Want me to stick it in her?"
"Ugh, no..."
"So you understand what I'm saying?" I said. Inanna shook her head.
"She enjoys sex, Jerry. You said yourself, she walked right up and asked you for some head, apropos of nothing. And she was more enthusiastic about what we just did than Sookie was. I mean, seriously. More enthusiastic than Sookie."
I shook my head. "Southeast Asia," I said.
"What about it?"
"In Southeast Asia, developing a libido is seen as a natural occurrence for a child. Discovering one's sexuality is considered the last stage of childhood. They don't see it as the end of innocence the way we do in the west."
"So what's the problem?" she asked.
"Child," I said, pointing to Ningur, who was currently sitting still with her face forward and her eyes closed as Aaina carefully applied a blue eye shadow to her reddish flesh.
"Westerner," I said, tuning my finger to my own chest.
"You could be a little more open minded," Inanna scoffed. I shook my head. "Love, I'm going to burn up some of my ration of foul language to stress this point, and I hope the fact that I'm willing to do so is not lost on you.
"I just fisted a demoness elbow-deep, while getting a rimjob from another demoness while also balls deep in a vag- in a pussy you'd grown on the back of your head, with a dick long enough to emerge from your butthole, swing around and get head from the demoness I was fisting. If you don't think I'm open-minded enough, I'm afraid we're about to see a return to our early days of me living in terror of your libido."
Inanna giggled and dropped a hand on my crotch, massaging until Aaina turned towards us, making her snatch her hand back.
"Which eye is best?" she asked, gesturing at Ningur. One eye was done in a blue that contrasted heavily with her warm red skin, the other done in a brighter red.
"I like the red," I said. Inanna peered carefully, holding up a hand to block out one side of Ningur's face, and then the other. "The red," she said after a moment. The three girls giggled and Aaina ran off for a wet wipe to remove the blue.
Inanna put her hand back, but on my leg this time.
"I do love it when you talk dirty," she said. Then she sighed deeply. "But I understand your point."
"I'm with Jerry. That was a little too child-trafficky for me," Sookie announced, walking around the couch and sitting down on my other side. She immediately leaned against me.
"The supercocks and extra holes were fine. A little... Extra, but fine. I'd rather get my hair pulled while I'm being fucked up the ass, but it's not like it wasn't fun. If I seemed a little cautious, it was because of her."
"Okay, so I'm the lech, this time," Inanna said. I turned my eyes slowly to her. "This time?" I asked.
"It's usually Sookie," she retorted defensively.
"I'm a slut, not a lech," Sookie objected. "Big difference."
"Fine," Inanna groaned. "But what do we tell her the next time she wants to get her guts stuffed?"
"I hate to sound so callous," I said. "But that's not our problem."
"Hmmm.... Maybe she'll encourage Larry and Aaina to-"
"Not having this conversation!" I announced loudly before she could finish the though. Inanna favored me with an evil grin, letting me know she'd gone there on purpose. She may be comfortable with that stuff, but I most certainly was not.
Listen, of course I don't begrudge my daughter a libido. She's rapidly approaching adulthood, and well past our first, hurried trip to the pharmacy for an emergency purchase of feminine hygiene products. I've stumbled across her and Larry sucking faces quite a few times, and I'm fine with that. And when she's ready to take it a step further, I'll be fine with that, and I'll be a supportive and caring parent to the best of my ability.
But I don't need those mental images. I may be a man who aspires to some level of dignity and grace, but my brain is a filthy, disgusting pervert -or postvert, as Glenda would say- that will not hesitate to imagine any scene even remotely involving sex in great detail. And I don't want those images in my head. So we don't talk about it unless we have to.
Sookie chuckled at my outburst and reached across me to fist-bump Inanna. I smacked her hand away, because she wasn't allowed to discuss Aaina's love life at all. Not after the day she 'casually' pointed out that Aaina was not a blood relative.
I glared at her. She shrugged, unconcerned.
"So how long did Greg say it would be?" Inanna asked.
"You know there's no timetable on this stuff, babe," I said. She sighed.
"It's been a while since I looked into our interrogation techniques. I was just hoping the mentalists had finally worked out their thing." The mentalists were a subgroup of our wizards who specialized in mind magic. They'd been promising a method for reading minds directly for about a year now, but their latest demonstration had been three months ago, and it still had a lot of issues. It worked only on certain thoughts, under certain circumstances.
They could suss out truth from falsehoods easily enough, but actually pulling novel information from someone's head was still in the future.
I heard the pop of someone teleporting in and glanced up to see Mot, back in her usual ripped-crop-top and ripped-jeans look.
"You guys all done with the xenomorph orgy shit?"
"Xenomorph?" I asked.
"Yeah, like from that movie where they try to shock the dude's heart with a defibu- defibri- A defib. Then his ribs open up like a mouth and bite the guy's hands off?"
"That's the Thing, not the xenomorph," I said mildly.
"Really? I thought it was. You know, xeno for alien and morph for changing?" I shook my head.
"Morph is a Greek word, it just means shape, form, or body. That thing was just called The Thing. The xenomorph is the alien from the Alien franchise."
"Oh yeah! The mouth-within-a-mouth thing. Like a goblin shark." Mot joined us, sitting next to Inanna.
"So the kids seem happy," she said.
"Yeah," Sookie responded. "Kathy took Aaina and Swaim shopping. They've got a couple bags of clothes in Aaina's room they haven't gotten to, yet."
"And a bag of paperbacks," I said.
"Don't think they'll get too excited about those," Mot said. I flashed her a baleful look.
"Got to, like, read a book before you get excited about it," she clarified. I nodded and smiled. She was right about that. Not that you had to read the whole thing, mind, but generally the cover and blurb don't arouse too many emotions.
I watched Ningur for a while.
Sookie was an especially human-looking asura. She had flesh that was quite human in all ways except for the color, her scales laid flat against her body and didn't have much ridges, and the bony plates on her shoulders and hips weren't very large.
Ningur -and Ninhursag, for that matter- were different. Their scales were more extensive, leaving only breasts, groin and face exposed. They had prominent ridges on them, as well. She had more plates that looked almost like armor, and they protected not just shoulders and hips, but knees and elbows. She had a ridge of spikes running down her back, and a second pair of smaller horns, behind the first. She looked a lot more demonic than Sookie, actually.
"Sookie," I said. "Why does Ningur look so different from you?"
"Spent less time living among humans. I looked more like her when I first left Nibiru. I figure another couple of centuries and I'll just look like a particularly pink human woman."
"Most of the asura we've run across are more like the one that possessed Kathy," I said. "You and her are different, though. Even her mother was extremely vicious, until she saw the kids, I mean. I can kinda understand why the former goddess of child-rearing might soften up a bit at the sight of kids, but I don't get why Ningur's so..."
"Docile," Mot said. "Yeah, it's pretty weird, dude."
"She's been living under her mother's thumb since she was first born. She's actually got a human father, did you know that?"
I looked at Sookie. "I did not. Do you know that story?"
She nodded.
"Ninhursag, because of her domain, is one of the few goddesses able to really get pregnant. I don't mean like Sara, where Inanna's manifestation got pregnant as a result of her spending so much time in it. I mean her core being. It would carry over to any manifestation she formed. I don't know all the details of how it worked, but it happened."
"It was a method of emanating," Inanna volunteered. "Just like any other, only using human sperm as a seed to get the process started. Her pregnancies would last a little over a year. The father didn't really contribute half of her genes, like with material pregnancies. It was more just a nudge to get the regular emanation process started."
"That sounds about right," Sookie said. "Ningur wasn't her only child, though. She had quite a few. Her first consort was Sulpea, the elder god of the night sky. That portfolio doesn't even really exist anymore, because humanity moved on from worshiping and revering it and using the night outdoors in rituals and such. I think Eloham has it, now. Anyways, he manifested bodies a lot, to interact directly with his church. In time, his body took on mortal characteristics like fertile sperm, and Ninhursag ended up pregnant with Panigari, who acquired the portfolio of accounting."
"Accounting?" I asked, a little skeptical.
"Accounting is one of the cornerstones of civilization, dear," Inanna said. I shrugged. I couldn't really argue, because I knew it was true, but I was still a little uncertain of what a god of accounting would be like. Probably a lot like me, come to think of it.
"Anyways," Sookie said, giving me a dirty look for interrupting her. "She had a whole bunch. An emanation is a lot like a human child; they're helpless at first, and need to be taught things, like communication, moving, how to behave, stuff like that. So as soon as she had raised one, a process that took about a century and a half, she'd get pregnant again. She moved on from Sulpea eventually. The two of them never seemed right for each other, and Sully wasn't very interested in being a father, in any event.
"She'd had about a dozen by that point. I'm not going to list them all. Then the war came, and she fought against the younger gods and, predictably enough, lost. She went wild, like so many of us did, and fled to Nibiru to try and soak in as much power from her portfolio as possible. Obviously, that affected her, like it affected all of us.
"At some point, before she was bound, she left, seeking a mate. She found this fellow named Aoush, who was a sort of administrator in Eridu. He oversaw land rights for the farmers and the production of mud bricks for construction. His title was-"
"Lord of the earth," I said. "Enki, right?"
"Right. I forget sometimes that you know a lot of this stuff already. Anyways, Aoush and her hit it off and she mellowed out a lot for a few years there. During that time, he got her pregnant with Ningur. But there was this deva named Abzu, who was kind of a patron of the city Aoush lived in. He was worried about this, because he'd spent a lot of time and energy getting into place. I think he fancied himself one of the gods. He certainly spent a lot of time ass-kissing the gods.
"He was all kinds of put out by the idea of Ninhursag giving birth to a new goddess in his city. He tried getting the king to turn on Aoush, but he wouldn't do it, as they had some history. I don't recall exactly what it was, but they'd known each other a long time. So with his other options exhausted, Abzu decided to take direct action. He attacked Aoush on the same night that Ninhursag went into labor. While she was giving birth, Aoush and Abzu fought, and eventually, Abzu won.
"He came for Ninhursag, but at that point, several of the gods had had enough of his shit and smacked him down. He ended up fleeing back to wherever the devas come from, and hasn't been heard of since. Aoush became a martyr to the city, and eventually, they started worshiping him as a god.
"Ninhursag wasn't all there, mentally, remember. She had calmed down, but she was still..." Sookied twirled a finger around her ear.
"She blamed Ningur. Took her back to to Nibiru and raised her there, being as overbearing a mother as you'd expect from an asura. That's why she is the way she is. She was never driven mad by Nibiru, because she grew up in it. Instead, she had her development stunted by an overbearing, judgmental mother."
"You're making me regret leaving Ninhursag with the children," I said. Inanna patted my knee. "She's fine with other people's children. Hell, she's fine with her other children, and she had a few more with random mortal men after Ningur. It's really her that Ninhursag focused all her crazy on."
"Still," I said. "I don't like that. I think we should send her home as soon as possible."
Inanna nodded. "We will."
"Good," I said.
The three girls finished getting their makeup sorted and moved onto the clothes, which they went in the bedroom to try on. An hour later, I made hamburgers and fries for lunch, and the girls emerged to eat with us.
Aaina apparently had a specific look in mind when Kathy took her shopping, and it was not her usual bookish, dad-approved look.
All three girls emerged wearing tight shorts and crop tops. Ningur looked a little ridiculous with her scaly, demonic skin, but they all seemed happy about it. All dolled up, they looked like extras in a music video. A heavy metal music video.
"Dad," Aaina asked. "Do you think I can borrow the car?" I froze, the remaining half of my burger halfway to my mouth. Aaina had gotten her driver's license earlier this year, but she'd only driven by herself twice.
"Uh," I said.
"Where are you going?" Inanna asked.
"I want to go to the mall."
"Didn't Kathy just take you shopping this morning?" I asked.
"Different mall, dad," Aaina said, as if that were the most obvious thing in the world. "Some of my friends are going to be there, and I think it would do Swaim and even Nina some good to meet some new people." She fixed me with her serious face, which meant she had a whole line of reasoning laid out for why this was the best idea, and she wasn't afraid to lay it all on me.
"I think that's a fine idea, but with one caveat," Inanna said.
"What's that?"
Inanna produced a small compact mirror. It looked like any other makeup accessory, except for the runes etched into the wooden case. It was an emergency teleporter, designed with a popup pin in the base that could be used to shatter the mirror itself. Once closed on the pin, or slammed on the ground, or otherwise broken, the device would instantly teleport the user to a safe place. Aaina already had one, of course, that she was required to keep in her pocket at all times.
"Swaim and Ningur must take one. And you need a new one, as well. This one will teleport you to the pocket park, where Ishantee and the others can protect you, instead of back here."
Aaina took it and Inanna produced two more, handing them to the other girls.
"Thank you, miss Williams," Ningur said as she took hers.
"Thanks, Inanna," Swaim added.
"It's Missus Williams, dear," Inanna told Ningur. "I'm married, and Williams is my husband's surname, which I took on when we got married."
"Old school," Aaina quipped.
"Maybe, miss Dotani," Inanna said primly, using Aaina's original family name. "But I would think you might appreciate the significance of taking on a new name."
Aaina turned and beamed at me, leaning over to wrap her arms around my waist. "I do. I love being a Williams, dad." I hugged her back and tried not to tear up.
'Tried' being the operative word.
"All right," I said, pulling the keys to my Toyota out of hammerspace and holding them out. When Aaina reached for them, I pulled them back. "Fetch the handgun from your dresser and keep that in your purse as well."
"Do I have to?" she whined.
"It will make me feel better," I said.
"Okaaaaaaay..." she conceded. I handed her the keys. The gun in question was a gen 4, specially made by a gunsmith up in Idaho, and the specially enchanted for her. It had all the regular features of a gen 4, including the magic heads-up aiming, but it was also enchanted to escape notice if anyone looked in her purse, because I had finally figured out the Jedi mind trick. And because Aaina was too young for a concealed carry permit.
After the meal, the three girls left. I watched them pull out of the driveway, worry gnawing at me. My instincts were to herd them to the park, then call everyone there and just wait out whatever was happening, protecting my family, ready to escape to the Heavenly Oasis if needed. But I was also desperate for this sort of normalcy. From everything I knew, the world was in the process of changing, and likely not for the better. I had to hang onto this as long as I could.
They had just turned out of sight when I heard a pop and looked over to see Glenda standing there.
"Done with all the postvert shit?" she asked. Unnecessarily, as I was fully dressed and standing outdoors.
"Yeah, that only took an hour or two. We spent the rest of the morning hanging out, waiting for word from you or Kathy, back at the office. So what's the word?"
"We found them. They're all there. A whole shit-ton of them, too. At least thirty gods. And as you said, they're fighting the primordials, which are pretty damn Ixy-like, except they tend to be greenish, with less smoke and more tentacles."
I nodded. "That's good that we at least know where they are."
"They're losing, dude," Glenda said. I met her eyes and saw the fear and determination there. My heart sunk further.
"That's not all," she said in a tone that made it clear the rest was bad news.
"What?" I asked, my own worries just as clear as hers.
"Your old girlfriend is leading them."
"What?!" I turned fully towards her. "Sarisa?"
Glenda nodded and her eyes sparkled with moisture. "She's... She's the spitting image of Jessica. I stared for a long time, broke my own fucking heart again telling myself that it wasn't her. She saw us, spoke to us. She said she needs you, the whole world needs you. You need to go there and help."
"I'm..." I said, confused. I didn't understand any of this.
She nodded. "Yarm and Fulla backed her, man. They straight up told us that you need to get your ass out there and help, or they're gonna lose."
"I don't understand..." I said.
"Me neither, man. But I can tell you this; they were all scared shitless. Even the new one who knows everything."
"Jane," I supplied.
"Weird name for a goddess, but whatever. Yeah, I meant her. Her and Fulla left the line, right before I came here. They pulled me aside and told me to remember Sarisa's plan, and to remember that she made it for a reason. That you absolutely need to come, and work with her."
My head was spinning. I don't think Glenda really understood the full implications of what she was saying. The goddess of knowledge and the goddess of secrets, the latter of whom I trusted implicitly, were telling me that I needed to become the despotic sociopath Sarisa had been trying to turn me into. And if I didn't, the world would pay the price.
"Are you okay?" Glenda asked, grabbing one of my arms. "You look like you're about to collapse."
"I..." I said. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to answer her.
"Dude, they made it clear that this was an emergency. Like, we need to leave now."
"I understand... I just..." I muttered. Before I could get any further, Ishantee appeared. Her face was streaked with tears and her armor splattered in blood. My heart surprised me by wrenching even further.
"Jerry, I'm so sorry... They snuck in while we were sorting out a watch rotation. By the time we realized they were there, they'd launched another attack. Even more asura joined them this time. We had to fight them back. We sent Chris and the einheri to stop them, but it was too late."
My knees buckled and I fell to the grass.
"They got Sara, Mariah, Junior and Natalie. All four of them. They vanished. We don't know where they are."
Her words seemed to be coming from a great distance. I heard only their echoes, carried to me by the winds currently tearing my insides apart.
I was being asked to sacrifice my very soul, every principle that I held most dear. And my children were gone.
Fuck.

Valentine's day was to be honest, a little disapointing. I had suggested 2 or 3 weeks ago that me and my bf (25M) go out to dinner, maybe to chilli's or Applebee's, nothing super fancy. We didn't. I don't remember the last time we went out to a restaurant for brunch, lunch or dinner. I don't remember the last time we went out to do something fun, like the movies, mini golf, walking in a forest preserve, etc. It had to be at least 8 months ago.
He said he would cook a romantic meal, which I was excited about. I came over after work at 5. After we kissed and hugged, it basically became like any other day though. He turned on the TV and started watching YouTube videos about video games (play throughs and speed runs). He just bought a PS5 and started playing that. He wanted to get a second controller. I know him and his roommate play games together, the last time me and my bf played a video game together had to be like 9 months ago. I'm not a huge fan of fighting or shooting games, I suggested maybe sometime we could play a game together like the Lego games. I drove us over to GameStop and he got another controller, and a Lego game. Came back and him and his roommate sat on the couch and watched youtube while I sat at the kitchen table. I ended up just playing a game on my phone. My bf had gotten steaks which was nice. He got one for himself, one for me, and one for his roommate. At around 6:30 my bf started cooking, while I watched his puppy.
Me, my bf and his roommate ate dinner at around 7:30 or 8 with a YouTube video about "100 facts about Eric Cartman from South Park" playing in the background.
His roommate went into his room. Me and my bf sat on the couch and I gave him his Valentine's day presents. I had got him lots of gifts that I thought were very thoughtful. He loves when I scrach his head and his feet hurt sometimes (works on his feet), so I got him a head massager and foot roller. I used the head massager for about 10 minutes on him. I also got 2 car-related shirts since he works in the car industry and a pair of car part socks. Alot of his socks have holes in them so socks were needed. I also got him socks with German Shepards on them because he has a Shepard puppy.
My bf gave me a foot rub for about 5 minutes which was nice. We watched an episode of a comedy show, then he wanted to play some eldenring. At around 10 he told me I should head home.
Would it be rude to ask him if he can maybe get me some flowers? Not a big bouquet but just maybe like 6 roses? Or a few carnations or something? Idk if I just have high standards for Valentine's day, I was just expecting maybe a little more... And not necessarily in terms of monetary gifts, but I just think the dinner wasn't exactly romantic. Nothing in the day was really romantic. Would it be rude to try a dinner again but this time have it actually be romantic? Like turn down some of the lights, have a candle going, maybe on the TV play a video of a fireplace or some nice music or something. Idk, maybe I just have high standards for Valentine's day...

Thinking I'll kick her out of the car and drive off with the kids to impose some relaxation.
Everything I see googling around is either a hair salon or nail salon with nice floral arrangements and a crafty photographer.
I'm looking for somewhere doing the whole package (massage, mani pedi, whatever else goes on) but everything I find looks like it's in a strip mall beside a McD's.
Any suggestions welcome, not necessarily married to the listed locations either.
thanks ontarians.

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