I don’t really care about Valentine’s Day. I did when I was young and in the early stages of a romantic relationship with my husband of 35 years. But as I’ve aged, I’ve come to see Valentine’s Day as yet another example of commercialism and consumerism.

And guilt.

Love is not something that is expressed dramatically, flamboyantly one day of the year.

It is the way that we live. Every day. All day long.

And love is so much more than romantic love.

This week a young girl in our community died in a tragic car accident.  I didn’t know her but I know her extended family. My heart aches for them because I cannot even imagine the depth of loss and grief they are feeling at this time.

But the outpouring of support coming from our community reminds me what love is really about–

–Neighbors creating websites offering others an opportunity to provide meals and financial support immediately surfaced.

–Overwhelming outpouring of concern expressed on Social Media as a community wraps its arms around a family in grief.

That is love.

There are so many kinds of love in this world that to diminish and trivialize it to a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers seems almost insulting.

Love is getting up in the middle of the night when your child has a temperature of 102.

Love is shoveling the snow on your sidewalk way past your house so your neighbor doesn’t have to come out in the cold.

Love is having the courage to tell a friend that she hurt you.

Love is loving yourself enough to establish boundaries.

Love is serving food at the homeless shelter because you just cannot fathom someone not having a roof over their head.

Love is having the difficult conversations when it would be easier to be silent.

Love is hugging someone you don’t even know well simply because their face said they needed it.

Love is messy, emotional, challenging, beautiful, complicated.

And it begins with loving ourselves.

This Valentine’s Day, let’s get it right.

Listen. Hug. Be there for others. Be engaged in life. Care enough so others don’t feel so alone. Say yes. Say no.

Love.

Just Love!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Julie

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I learned today that my blog won third place in Frederick Magazine’s Best of Frederick Awards.

This excites me tremendously because I don’t really think of myself as a blogger.

I relate more to speaker, author, consultant, gardener, Mom, time waster, expert napper. But not blogger.

So the fact that I got third place makes me so happy I could burst!

I credit Frederick Magazine for my UBER-excitement over this third place honor because they have figured out the psychology of how people think.

Unlike the way the Academy Awards program runs, I didn’t even consider I was in the running.

So I didn’t have to feel let down for not winning first.

Or second.

Or anything, for that matter.  I just got surprised!

Just think of the pressure the nominees at the Academy Awards are under!

They are publicly announced as a contender. One of four or five possible winners.

They have to starve themselves for who-knows-how-long?

Get a gown that won’t make them fodder for the haters on the Fashion Police.

Get their hair & make-up done.

Say things to reporters like “I’m just happy to be nominated.”  (Even though since they’ve been publicly announced as a potential winner, they want it baaaaad now.)

Then, to add salt into the perfectly coiffed wound, when they finally announce the winner in front of millions of viewers, the cameras zoom in for a close up of the big ole’ losers, right when they are faking a “I’m- so- happy- for- that -hussy- even- though- my -dramatic- performance- was- sooo- much- better” smile.

Clap-clap-clap! Smiling. And the cameras are rolling.

(Watch them closely sometime and you’ll know what I mean!)

All because they thought, for one fleeting, unbelievably, embarrassing moment, that THEY would walk up on that stage and say,

“You like me!  You really, really LIKE me!”

Thanks Frederick Magazine. You know how to do awards.

I’m shocked and enjoying my fifteen minutes of third place fame!

Julie

*  The Must Love Shoes website is going under reconstruction. Check back soon to see our brand new look.

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I could make a loooonnnnng list of resolutions because I certainly have lots of room for improvement.

But this year, I am only making ONE resolution that I know I can keep!

So, here it goes!

Use more gift bags!

This picture may not look like much but last night I collected HUNDREDS of gift bags….

Scattered alllllllll over the attic.

Stuffed in the closets.

Hidden in my office.

But today, they are spooning happily together in a few functional boxes.

Here’s what’s funny…..

I don’t USE gift bags!

I love to wrap presents!   But everyone who gives me a gift, gives it to me in a bag!

And they are gorgeous!

So I keep them… thinking some day I will use them.

Hence – the massive collection of bags.

So my New Year’s Resolution for 2015 is that everyone getting a gift from me this year will receive it in a BAG!

By now you’ve probably figured out that since I don’t buy gift bags, when you receive one, it will be a re-gifted gift bag.

Strike that!  Call it recycled. That sounds cooler!

But that shouldn’t bother you because if someone cared enough about me to give me a gift, it means they like me.

And if they like me, then the bag came from someone pretty cool.

You’re welcome!

In fact, I’ll be using one of these little pretties over the weekend.

What’s the big deal about making resolutions?

Easy peasy!

Hmmmm… ok, maybe I’ll get rid of my shrunchie this year.  And get less speeding tickets.

Or not.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Julie

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I am only hours away from my annual sojourn through my Memory Box, my hidden stash of memorabilia which accumulates during the year.

The sole purpose of my Memory Box is to help me capture the highlights of my year so I don’t spend the evening wishing–

–that I were more organized.

–or patient.

–or thinner.

–or any number of things I think about if I allow my mind to dwell in insecurity rather than accomplishment.

It’s human nature, I guess, to think about what’s wrong, instead of what’s right.  But before I let the box tell me what went right for me this year, I have a few thoughts of my own.

In spite of the fact that 2014 was one of the toughest years of my life, it was also one of the best. Here’s why!

I got a Makeover!

Not the “What Not to Wear” kind of Makeover, but I hired Power Marketing to give my corporate website a fresh, new look. Like a new haircut, my new site makes me feel young. Hip. Current.   2015 will bring even more fun updates to my brand but hiring a professional to help me with all of this proved to be a very smart move.

I got help!

I finally gave up trying to do it all and hired a Virtual Assistant. The great news is that it’s like having an employee without having to pay insurance, vacation time, or clean my office. (I still worry about judging!)

I said NO!

I’ve learned a lot about boundaries this year….that they are the greatest act of love we can show ourselves and others. And so I spread a whole ‘lotta love this year. Just by saying no.

“No, that opportunity doesn’t fit my business model.”

“No, I can’t take on that volunteer role.”

“No, what you did/said hurt me and I won’t pretend that it didn’t.”

Getting better at saying no and being more transparent has made me feel more confident, empowered, and in control of my life, which is kind of funny since 2014 was OUT. OF. CONTROL!!!!!    And so…

I had Faith!

Between my husband and me, we were in the hospital four times in 2014. Plus, my mother-in-law died. And my oldest son spent most of his year working in the Middle East. AND I had the biggest work year in my 17 years in business.  I think that measures about a 200 on the richter scale of stress!!!  And yet I survived.

One day at a time.

One prayer at a time.

One foot in front of the other.

Getting through the day with unwavering faith that I was not alone.

And so, it doesn’t matter what I see in the box tonight. I’m grateful that I made it! And because of that —

I had a Great Year!

Happy New Year to you and yours,

Love and Grace,

Julie

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Every woman I know puts everyone’s needs before her own. It’s in our DNA. We just can’t help it.

Every woman I know has a “wish list,” a “bucket list,” things they dream of doing…..

Someday….

When the kids are grown.

When they have more money.

Or time.

Or energy.

I used to be that way.

But then I found these words by Author Anne Lamott:

“Oh my God!  What if you wake up some day and you’re 65. Or 75. And you never got your memoir or novel written;

or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly – -

and you had a nice big comfortable tummy –

or were just so strung out on PERFECTIONISM

and PEOPLE-PLEASING

that you forgot to have a big, juicy, creative LIFE

of IMAGINATION and radical silliness, and staring off into space,

like when you were a kid?

It’s going to break your heart!

DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN!”

 

Join Kelly Beach of Vicarious Travel and me for our second annual “Must Love Shoes Goes to Italy” Ladies’ retreat from April 18-26, 2015.

Picture this: Waking every morning in a 16th century castle in time to watch the fog rise over the Italian countryside.  Meaningful small group discussions with fun, fascinating women! Wine tours and tastings at vineyards owned and operated by Italian women. An authentic Italian cooking class. Shopping in quaint villages. Indescribable food! And an opportunity to dine with one of the world’s most beloved Italian cookbook authors! Personal time to reflect, plan, dream, or dare in one of the world’s most beautiful countries.

What are you waiting for???

No regrets!

 

Love & Grace,

Julie

 

 

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Every year during the Christmas season a parade of Snow People take up temporary residence along Main Street of our little town.  This year, a sweet vintage girl graces my driveway and I have affectionately named here Vivienne.

In my vivid imagination, she assumes a personality and enjoys many exciting adventures while I’m away from home. Much like the ever-so-popular Elf on the Shelf.

Except Vivienne is not creepy.

And you can touch her. (In fact, she rather likes it).

And she has good taste in clothing.

During a recent walk around town, I playfully began naming her neighborhood friends. I realized that many of them reminded me of new friends who have also, coincidentally, come into my life in the past few years.

I’d love for you to meet them.

This little cutie is carrying a sign that says:  “A good book is worth melting for.”  She reminds me of my friend Julie Zamostny, who not only works for the Western Maryland Library System but is one of the most well-read and interesting seekers of knowledge that I know. The Town volunteers happened to place her by the entrance to the school. How appropriate!

This fellow is obviously a Penn State Fan. In the past year I had the good fortune to meet Kelly Frager, a fellow speaker and subject matter expert.  We shared the stage in October and will be working on a project together this February.  She is a die-hard Penn State fan and so this snowman reminds me of her. 

My friend and Chef Christine Van Bloem comes to mind when I see this Baker Snowman.  Christine puts on a crazy-fun cooking class and has not only taught and entertained my “Must Love Shoes” friends but has taught some of my clients a thing or two about teambuilding.  And I know for a fact that she bakes a pretty yummy cookie!

Check back tomorrow and I’ll introduce you to a few more of our friends. In the meantime,  if you happen to be in the neighborhood, stop by and have your picture taken with my girl Vivienne and post it on my wall. Some of my friends have already been doing that.

It’s better than a calling card, don’t you think?

Feeling the Christmas Spirit,

Julie

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We said goodbye to an old friend today.

Not in the way you might imagine, but it was difficult nonetheless.

This English Walnut has stood beside our 160-year-old home for most of her life. Like any dear friend, she shared generously….

Provided us with beautiful moments throughout every season in the year…..

And provided unwavering shelter from the harsh elements.

She was the belle of the ball during many summer gatherings.

.

But today she came down.

Under the loving care of professionals, she made her graceful exit.

Our plan is that she will always be with us…. in a different form. Perhaps as a mantle, a bird bath, or seated resting place in the gardens she protected for so many years.

Like our tree, life changes too, doesn’t it?

And that’s ok.

It’s all part of God’s plan.

Goodbye sweet friend.

See you this summer.

Love & grace,

Julie

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Years ago as part of my Leadership Washington County Health & Human Services Day, my class ate lunch at the Salvation Army. We were encouraged not to eat with our fellow classmates, rather, to reach out and sit with a client to share our meal.

It was there I learned the true meaning of fellowship.

At one point in our conversation, the man I was breaking bread with asked “who was I with?”  When I didn’t immediately respond (I was trying to think of a respectful way to tell him we were experiencing a poverty simulation), he responded, “It’s pretty obvious you don’t belong here.”

Raw. Honest. Humble words.

Spoken from a man who didn’t belong there either.

But who does?

Life has a way of serving us what we didn’t order.

Our conversation immediately shifted from polite and superficial…

To real.

We began to talk about disappointment. Failure. Hurt. Addiction. Estrangement.

And we talked about hope.

I’ll never forget that moment.

Today, as part of my Rotary Club’s initiative I am ringing the bells for the Salvation Army.

I will ring loudly.

And proudly.

I will do everything I can to maximize my presence for the good of an organization that does so much.

Because everyone deserves a seat at the table.

Matthew 25:40        “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Love & Blessings,

Julie

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“They wear so many faces, show up in the strangest places.
To grace us with their mercy, in our time of need.
I believe there are angels among us.
Sent down to us from somewhere up above.
They come to you and me in our darkest hours.
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give.
To guide us with a light of love.”
Randy Travis

It’s hard to believe that it’s been four months since 160+ women gathered in my gardens for the fourth annual “Soles of Love in the Garden” charity event.

It had been a tough week for my family leading up to the event but when the evening finally arrived, there was magic in the garden.

Old friends. New friends. Acquaintances who quickly became friends.

Candlelight. Twinkling lights. Smiles. Hugs. Laughter. Warmth.

Love.

And shoes.  583 pairs to be exact!

Hand delivered by angels.

This week, the second phase of that effort became a reality.

With the proceeds from the donations, I was able to purchase 71 pairs of winter boots for our local children!  And donate $300 from the proceeds of our beautiful chair created by my friend Jenni Hatcher.

There were angels among us that magical night!

Today I finished my porch holiday decorations. Every year I select a theme (because I’m weird like that!)

The theme?

Angels!

Because if this year has taught me anything, it’s that they are always among us!

May this holiday season find you filled with love.

Fueled by grace.

And blessed by angels.

With gratitude,

Julie

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Today is #givingTuesday. The entire day, I have received countless emails and requests from nonprofits requesting that I go online and support their cause.

Every nonprofit is important. They all improve the quality of life. They all are worthy of my gift.

But today, my wallet and online giving goes to the Michael J. Fox Parkinson’s Foundation.

Michael is the face of Parkinson’s and he keeps some high profile company: Muhammad Ali, Johnny Cash, Billy Graham, George Wallace, Robin Williams, Janet Reno, Charles Schultz, Linda Ronstadt, Brian Grant, to name a few.

They are the faces we recognize. They are the idols we follow, worship, enjoy watching their contributions to society.

But the face of Parkinson’s I see every day is that of my husband of 35 years and best friend for 40.

The man who is my hero. The face who loves his family…. Who worked hard to provide for us and until recently was able to do that without challenge.

He teaches me every day what it means to never give up. To know when to be private and when to speak up.

And speak out.

Parkinson’s is a disease that challenges your faith but teaches you that blessings appear in the most unlikeliest of places…. and people.

The face I see every day is the face that reminds me that Parkinson’s makes you a different person, it doesn’t make you less of a person.

It makes you more.

So much more.

Resilient, determined, disciplined.

Grateful. Humbled.

Won’t you give today? Click here.

It’s time we face it head on.

We can’t fight this without you.

With grace and gratitude,

Julie & Dan

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