Peace out, Comcast. I won’t miss you.

Asagao

When you read what she did, you will cackle evilly as well, because I know nearly every woman alive will wish she could go back in time and do the same thing. So, take a peek and send her some love and well wishes. Spread it around, because it’s awesome. It’s even funnier when you know her and know how quiet and sweet she is. Unexpected evil is the best kind.

Ganguro
Saturday, if I recall correctly, I spent doing two bleach jobs then we ran out to Taco Bell and we saw a Kogal. No, seriously, just standing on the side of the road down the way from our house like that was a normal thing to see. And everyone in the car clutched each other and moaned, “Kogaru…” and wept in fear. See, I’m terrified of clowns… And that’s what they look like. Especially since this one had a big nebulous cloud of frizz-curly badly bleached orangey hair floating around her head as she waved her keitai, which was more straps and charms than phone, around clutched in white claws, incredulously blinking her huge eyes over done with enough white eye liner to look like a Department of Transportation crew had mistaken her face for a band spankin’ new road. I’ve seen some kogals before, including one around forty who had the distinction of appearing to be a big platinum handle on top of a very beaten leather handbag in motion, rolling through the mall shouting at her kid and into her phone at once, but this was the shining pinnacle of ganguro, less than a block from our house. Come to think of it, maybe that one at the mall wasn’t that old. It’s hard to tell when you’ve deep fried the uv right into your face.
Want to know what one looks like? Here you go. I’m not posting anything that looks like a clown on a page I know I have to look at. I must impress upon you the fact that I fear clowns. Thanks, Stephen King. My friend is afraid of them because they used to kick him in school but that’s another story entirely and now I must be moving on to:

I hate Wal-Greens
No, really. My friend has to go there for some prescription program thing so I occasionally end up there. They take forever to find their own asses and while I must admit they excel mightily over Rite-Aid, they still fall pretty far short of being not wholly fucking irritating. But that’s only the set up for why the hell I spent over an hour fiddle fucking around a pharmacy on a fine Monday morning.
Pharmacies sometimes are fun. When you’re running in to pick up some Tylenol and some juice and taking a leisurely peek at what else is on offer. When you’re trapped in there peering at every single high quality item trying in vain to kill time and fearing wading back through the crowd of other irate waiters at the pharm? Notsomuch.
So we were getting pretty friggin’ bored and ended up in the suppliments aisle, debating whether or not half of them were even beneficial when we saw it. Enzyte. No shit, it was there.
“Dude, it’s REAL!” my friend said, in awe and fear.
“Their logo is a race car,” I snickered, “But you know what’s the scary part? It’s almost sold out. There’s only two boxes left.”
“Touch it. Otherwise it didn’t happen.” My friend insisted, and so I did. I picked it up and stared at it and then put it back. I know it was just my brain playing tricks on me but it seemed like it left a slightly greasy film on my fingers, like a condom wrapper or something.
Then leaned over to put it back and stood up, nearly tripping over the clerk who had paused behind us in order not to miss this fascinating diagolue, between two adults, none the less. And ask me if I needed help to find anything while I turned funny colours and tried not to die, all while he kept a straight face. That takes practice. Maybe this happens all the time?

So, anyway…
I spent Friday making this big ass paper mache dragon with my minion. It turned out pretty good considering I had no clear plan or idea what the hell I was doing. We used a soda bottle for the body and toilet paper rolls for the legs; whole ones for the back and a cut in half one for the front. Then from there out I started getting really sassy and I ended up sculpting his face and tail pretty much just from the paper because wtf can you find that looks like a dragon face? Yeah, kind of a stumper.

In the middle of my garden, randomly and without reason, grew a strange little sproutie that no one could identify. It looked not like a weed, so we left it there to see what would happen. And it grew, and then it grew and eventually it grew up so tall it was kind of out of our downward garden staring field of vision so we sort of forgot about it until one day we looked out the window and figured out what our mystery plant was:

Pretty weird, eh? Especially weird since Hei loves sunflowers most of all and about two days before I finally looked up enough to see the damn thing, my friend had sent me a picture of some sunflowers he happened to be wandering by to amuse me. I’m guessing it was the birds who like to harass Little Dude, who is not amused:

They don’t harrass Mr Z though, he’s too lazy to care about them:

And that’s freakin’ that for now!

So, there it is and it took me two days; one to make the cakes and the frosting and let it all cool and one to assemble it and frost it and then realize the frosting had caused it to lean despite the support inside it. But I don’t care, because once I put the last detail on and stepped away, Hei leapt up and down clapping her hands and exclaimed, “You ARE the bestest mom in the world!”
(Until the next morning, when I returned to being regular mom because I fussed about laundry)

And some cats:

Oh yeah, and I went to the market this week and was in heaven. I bought takoyaki. Do you know the orgy of awesome that is takoyaki?

And here we go:

Isn’t that the cutest thing you’ve ever seen? Just lie and say yes, damnit.

We used our Hello Kitty ice cube tray to make them and they’re filled with peanut butter. Hell yeah. ^_^

Miss Hei-chan got a present from her grandpa which was a complete surprise since it was unannounced and not for any particular reason. But it was interesting because it was full of books. School books. And they were all exactly on her levels which is really amazing, since she’s on different levels in everything. How did he know which ones to get? I have no idea, but it’s delightful.

The garden is all flowering and exciting. I love the pea flowers best, they’re small white and delicate, but the pumpkin ones are spectacular in full display. They are certainly not shy in the least. It’s good to be able to go out and see them since Hei and I have been on restriction about going outside due to the smoke in the air from the fires in Napa. It was hazy blue out and being outside was pretty much like shoving your head over a campfire, only there were no hot dogs on sticks, just nature being devoured and people fearing for their homes. That’s not my idea of a good time. Or anyone’s, really.

I sewed a skirt I’d been waiting for just the right lace to make for over a year now (I found it for $.35 for the whole roll at a thrift store tucked away in the middle of nowhere) and started another dress. Except as I was piecing the dress together it just got waaaay too hot in the sewing room suddenly and I had to chose whether to leave or faint.
I haven’t gotten back to it yet since Hei and I decided to spend our fourth of July making a paper craft cafe. That thing took over five hours of cutting and folding and gluing and the best part was how I kept thinking I was done and then as I would turn to offer up the new piece, see another sitting right next to me, waiting its turn. This thing was Serious Business: Building, counters, displays, pastries, table, chairs… By the time it was wholly finished it was well after dark.
It does look pretty cool though. I should poke through what else I have in my drawer. I don’t think I’ll attempt anything of that magnitude any time too soon though.

Made a cereal cake out of random cereal in the cupboard that was boring. One bag of marshmellows, three tablespoons of butter, a glop of peanut butter and a handful of chocolate chips later, it was edible and interesting. But I learned better than to store it in the fridge. Ugh, my teeth… oh, and I found out that my microwave has a melt butter and a melt marshmellow setting. Who knew?

That’s about all. Exciting, isn’t it? Since I’ve been completely lazy about taking pictures, here’s some from the BART station and a view of the Bay: