(never home)maker, baby!

Introducing . . .

2012-03-08T16:57:00.002-08:00

Our new site isn't 100% ready, but it's close enough. I also figured making it live would be incentive to finish it up ASAP. Without further hesitation . . .

Check out Writing Chapter Three. Our life and times as a family. It will be replacing (never home)maker, baby! -- with all sorts of fun posts related to life in general. Stuff like budget, food, parenting, and on and on.

Please note that (never home)maker isn't going anywhere (there was some confusion about it). Everything on www.neverhomemaker.com is staying the same and will be updated just as often. Just expect us to get back in gear with more running and fitness posts. The recipes will continue as well, but expect more of those on the new site.

xoxo,

Ashley, Stephen & Ada

Goodbye

2012-03-06T17:24:00.000-08:00

Sigh. This is my last post on (never home)maker, baby! And I suppose it's fitting since Ada entered our lives exactly a year ago today. (Yeah. We know the date when we conceived. TMI? Eh. I'm sentimental.) Anyway, I wanted to say THANK YOU for following along. You have all been so incredibly thoughtful and helpful this past year (and beyond). Though I know I could have found my way on my own, having a supportive community of moms and other kind people was invaluable and comforting throughout the good, bad, and ugly.

Wow. I have no idea where this is coming from. But I just got insanely emotional. At this very moment. Maybe a photo will distract me.

Nope. That only made things worse -- but not in a bad way. I just can't believe how much my life has changed in a year. Sure. It's been rough at times. But when I look back on everything now, I feel an all-encompassing sense of contentment.

Ending this blog has me in tears.

This particular chapter might be ending . . . but we're already several pages into a new one. (And that's a bit of a hint at the new blog name!) OK. This might not be the last post on here. Because you have to stay tuned for one more with the info on the new site.

Till then . . .

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15 Weeks . . .

2012-03-02T12:04:00.001-08:00

. . . and her first pair of flats.

But it's not like that they lasted very long on those wiggly toes!

Nope. They didn't stand a chance.

Still, I enjoy playing dress-up with this little one. So many clothes, so little time until she's busting out of them.

Have a great weekend! And if you haven't already, you can check out my Postpartum Fitness Challenge. When Stephen gets home in a few, I'm going to do some planks. Ouch.

Like what you just read? You can subscribe to the feed of these posts or follow us on Twitter or Facebook to be the first to know what the (never home)makers are up to. And we’ll love you forever!

Spread Thin

2012-02-29T08:25:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I cared for the World's crankiest 3 month old. Seemed like anything I'd do would only work for about 5 minutes. She wasn't crying necessarily -- more like making lots of annoyed-sounding coos at her play gym, etc.

And just when I thought that maybe she was just sick of me, Stephen came home from work and she continued for the rest of the night.

It wasn't all bad. We did enjoy some good times in her crib. I take her there to play sometimes to get her used to the idea of sleeping there.

Yeah. We're finally starting the (very slow) transition to the nursery. We're going about it in phases . . .

Stop swaddling. I don't know the magic age when most parents stop, but in general I've noticed my friends have tried to phase it out by around 3 to 4 months. Mostly when their little ones are rolling over. (More on that below.) Last night was the first night we tried sleeping without being wrapped tightly -- and it worked! She woke up an hour earlier than normal for her nighttime feed, which is actually around 5AM -- so she woke up at 4 -- but we both were shocked that she slept from 10 until 4 with her hands free!
Sleep on back. We're still having Ada sleep elevated in a reclined chair inside her Pack 'N Play due to her reflux issues. We're going to continue for at least another week. But her reflux is getting slightly better and she's not choking nearly as often as she used to. So, as soon as we feel the swaddling switch is OK, we're going to put her to sleep on her back in the Pack 'N Play.
Nap in crib. I had been putting Ada down for naps in her crib when she was 2 months old. But I had also been putting her chair in her crib. I've tried having her nap on her back and she hates it. However, I don't feel comfortable leaving her unattended in her chair anymore since she is more mobile. So, once she's sleeping well on her back at night, I'd like to have her nap in her nursery during the day. Who knows how long that will take!
Switch-a-roo! I'm not sure if we'll end up doing this one, but I thought maybe the next step would be to have her sleep for the first part of the night in her Pack 'N Play and when she gets up to eat, return her to bed in her crib. Might be silly, we'll see.

Of course, the next step would be full-time sleeping in the crib. My goal is to be there by 6 months. I don't feel any sort of pressure to meet this goal, but I think it'd be good for all of us to have a bit more space at night. I also feel like if I don't make the transition by then, it'll get harder and harder.

I might be making too much of the entire process. In fact, I know I am. And I know some of it is just for my own piece of mind. Being a mom to a baby with bad reflux is, at times, terrifying. I turn into a different person at night because I'm so worried I'll miss something and Ada will be in distress if I'm not RIGHT THERE. It's happened before (like last week when she was playing and then we looked down and she was convulsing because she couldn't breathe -- AHH!), but is happening less and less as the weeks go on.

In other news: Ada rolled over this weekend! She did it twice in a row and hasn't done it since. But it was pretty cool. Means I'll need to stop holding tummy-time atop our living room ottoman.

Anyway: Spread thin. I'm trying really hard to get the new site up and running by next week. So, I don't know how many more updates I'll be posting on (never home)maker, baby! this week. Good things to come, though!

Like what you just read? You can subscribe to the feed of these posts or follow us on Twitter or Facebook to be the first to know what the (never home)makers are up to. And we’ll love you forever!

The 4th Trimester

2012-02-24T13:35:00.001-08:00

Now that we're almost done with our new site (hopefully making it live in the next two weeks), we thought we'd organize our first months of parenting posts in one place. There's information here on the postpartum period, Ada's development, breastfeeding, and all other things that have happened in our early days with a newborn. It's been quite a ride!

You can also read all about my pregnancy in this same format -- check out 9 Months: 1 Post.

Ada Mae was born on November 16th 2011

Welcome to the World, Ada Mae!
Early Labor Through Transition
Ada's Birth Story, Part II: Pushing

ADA'S WEEKLY UPDATES

1 Week
2 Weeks
3 Weeks
1 Month
5 Weeks
6 Weeks
8 Weeks
2 Months
11 Weeks
3 Months

ASHLEY'S UPDATES

2 Weeks Postpartum
3 Weeks Postpartum
4 Weeks Postpartum
8 Weeks Postpartum
11 Weeks Postpartum
12 Weeks Postpartum

BREASTFEEDING

Breastfeeding: The Early Weeks
Breastfeeding SUCKS (Energy)
Breastfeeding Sucks, Part II

LIFE WITH A NEWBORN, ETC.

The Sleep Situation
Falling In Love with Ada
Baby Must-Haves (0-3 Month Edition)
Cloth Diapers: How It's Going
Good Morning, Ada Mae (Video)
Our Nature "Hike" (Video)
Happy Valentine's Day, Ada Mae!
Valentine's Day Flop

Thanks to everyone who has joined us on our journey to parenthood. All of your thoughts, advice, and support have meant the world to us! We look forward to sharing more as our family grows.

Like what you just read? You can subscribe to the feed of these posts or follow us on Twitter or Facebook to be the first to know what the (never home)makers are up to. And we’ll love you forever!

Breastfeeding Sucks: Part II

2012-02-23T07:01:00.000-08:00

As always, thank you for all your comments in response to my Breastfeeding Sucks post. I suppose I should specify that I seem to have what I would consider "normal" energy, but then I get ready to do something, like jog, and Ada needs to eat. I feed her for 25 minutes or so.

After that, my energy levels plummet to almost zero. That's why I think it's the breastfeeding -- that the two are directly linked. It very well could be the hormone my body releases during breastfeeding. Or it could be my diet and sleep habits.

Thanks to your suggestions, I plan to:

Wake up earlier. Like when Ada eats around 5:30 in the morning. I'll do something low-key, like surf the net or take a short walk through our neighborhood, to get my mind and body going for the day.
Switch vitamins. The multivitamin I was taking doesn't have iron in it (the gummy kind). For whatever reason, I had spaced out and thought that it didn't include calcium, but DID include iron. Not the case. I am now back on my prenatal vitamins.
Pay better attention to my diet. Forget the multi, I need to eat more protein and iron-rich foods versus carbs to keep myself awake. I'm guilty of munching on cereal, oatmeal, and easy-to-grab granola bars/etc. and forgetting the yogurt, eggs, and leafy veggies. The same goes with my consumption of H2O. As silly as it sounds, it's hard to eat well and remember to drink water with a baby around. She's going through a phase where if I'm not with her, she's screaming.
Stimulate my mind. One reader's comment initially offended me. She suggested I might not be getting enough mental stimulation. But then I realized she was entirely right. Besides taking care of Ada, I blog, do house chores, exercise, and watch TV. These activities are challenging both mentally and physically, but very different from when I was working outside our home. Mostly, I feel when I was on a schedule, I kept my momentum. I'd like to find a way to replicate that (in a small way)at home.
Keep my exercise expectations realistic. I think I was literally running on adrenaline after Ada was born. I was running five days a week and feeling great. Now? Not so much, nor should I. I ran 4 days a week most of my pregnancy but in the later months? Maybe 3. With my half marathon training plan, I should be running 5 days, but have decided to switch to 4 because I feel my body and mind need more rest time. On other days, I will walk and do other light activities.

More than a few of you pointed out that I could have a thyroid problem, anemia, or other medical issue. I didn't consider that something more could be going on. So, if these tweaks to my habits don't make much of a difference, I will head in and get a full workup.

In other news, I got my to-try glasses from Warby Parker last weekend. Major fail. I don't like any of the styles. I only semi-liked these two:

But not enough to take the plunge. I had specified four pairs to try out, so they included a random pair as well. That one was the worst of all!

(As you can tell, Ada hated them, too. And I'm not kidding, I don't think she recognized me!) I might try some more pairs sometime soon. But for now, it's back to my old glasses. They're not so bad.

Thank you again for all your comments. Now I'm off to the eternal struggle of getting Ada to take a nap in her crib. Ada: 86; Mom: 2. Not doing so well!

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Breastfeeding Sucks

2012-02-22T06:02:00.000-08:00

This isn't another post about how frustrating I find breastfeeding to be. In fact, Ada and I have worked most of the kinks out of our system. I suppose the title of this post should be extended to say: Breastfeeding Sucks ENERGY. I've been so incredibly tired lately and it usually links directly to feedings.

We had a great four-day weekend and took lots of walks. However, I also spent a lot of time on the couch watching Gossip Girl. Ada ate every 2 or 3 hours, which is usual. But for whatever reason, she's been taking longer to eat these days.

Part of it is because she seems to get easily distracted. She'll drink a few sips and then look up at me and smile. It's way too cute for words, but I find myself pleading with her to "get back on task" more and more each day.
And I imagine the other part might be that she's eating more. The only way I can tell is because when we offer her a bottle, she's upped her intake by about an ounce.

I've noticed with the longer feeding sessions that I am sleeping like a rock at night. And I'm typically an really light sleeper, which is why I think I've had trouble with sleep paralysis. Anyway, waking up -- despite sleeping 9 or 10 hours -- is difficult, too. Then once I'm up, I'm tired basically all day. Peeling myself off the couch the run seems impossible despite my motivation to train.

I can't help but wonder what I'm doing wrong. I understood why I was tired in the beginning. But now? I try my best to eat tons of food throughout the day. I'm getting good sleep. I'm taking a multivitamin. Perhaps with the increased production, my water intake hasn't kept pace? I've also read that women who breastfeed can become anemic.

I guess this post is more of a question than a statement. Has anyone else experienced sheer exhaustion after the newborn period with breastfeeding? Do you have any tips to share that might help me feel less zombie-like again?

I thank you in advance!

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Ada: 3 Months

2012-02-17T20:12:00.000-08:00

Now that Ada's out of the fourth trimester, I've decided to stick with monthly updates or ones that come about as interesting things crop up. Everyday is interesting, but I can only write "I can't believe how much she's grown/changed/etc." so many times, right? And yet -- I really, truly can't BELIEVE how much she has grown since birth!

Tiny baby Ada:

Ada today:

I've been having a conversation on Twitter with some other moms about teething signs and symptoms. Ada has been biting her hands, crying in what seems like pain, congested, and drooling like crazy. She's had less intense teething signs for a while, but they kicked up a notch in the last week or so. Stephen's mom told me that he broke his first tooth at 4 months. I had mine at 6 months, so I guess anything is possible.

I'm wondering what teeth mean for breastfeeding. It's surprising to me that I hadn't thought about the two in combination until recently.

We've been playing a lot more these days. Of course we still have tons of fun in the activity gym -- and Ada's showing much more recognition with cause and effect -- but she has a new favorite: Black and white books and cards. I bought a set of sea creature cards from Wee Gallery a few weeks back. Each morning after we get up, I show her the cards . . . and she grins at the octopus and jellyfish. I can't believe the reaction these simple designs elicit from her.

Lots of fun. We're also using the Bumbo chair now that she's basically mastered head control.

I know all babies are different, but I feel like Ada sleeps way more than most 3 month olds. I could be wrong. But she'll start to sleep at night around 7:30 or 8 . . . then we'll change her diaper and feed her around 10 or 10:30, swaddle her, and she'll sleep through until 5 AM, at which point we'll usually have to wake her up (it's when Stephen gets up for work) and feed her. Then she'll go down again until 7:30 or 8.

During the day, she naps a few times, probably equaling 4 hours total.

I'm not complaining, I just thought by now she would be up more and taking fewer naps during the day. I suppose I'll be yearning for all this sleep when she goes through a phase where she's waking up all the time. A few of my friends are reminding me of this almost daily. Duly noted!

Though she still fits into a good portion of her 0-3 month clothing, I've decided to pack away a majority of it because I can tell any day now, she'll be busting out.

Remember this green dress?

It was the first baby item I purchased once we found out we were having a girl. I call it the "gateway dress" because it opened up this whole new world of girly items to me. If you remember, I had been utterly convinced we were having a boy until I was 18 weeks pregnant.

Other milestones we've hit up to this point include tons of smiles. Head control and bearing weight on her legs. She squeals, gurgles, and coos quite a bit. Blows tons of bubbles with all that teething drool. Bats and holds toys.

And despite like zero minutes of tummy time, she can do a mini pushup:

I know it's early for the jumper, but with how much she likes to stand on her legs, we thought we'd try it.

She liked it a lot.

But I think we'll wait a while before trying it again -- she's so small.

Yup. She's got a lot of skills in her repertoire. But we don't like to brag. It's funny, we were picking out a book for Ada today at Barnes and Noble. And I forget why, but the cashier was like: "Oh, I hope you won't be like those parents who say things like, 'Our little Timmy is reading at a FOURTH GRADE level!'" We all laughed.

I mean we'll never be those parents. The level of pretension makes me gag just thinking about it. But I also never thought I'd be that mom who posts only photos of my baby all over Facebook. I guess you never really know.

I'm making lots of progress on the new site. SO, that's exciting. Oh! And I just had to share this. It's too true. As much as I'd like to laugh at each of these scenes, I'm certainly guilty of a few of them!

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Valentine's Day Flop

2012-02-16T07:20:00.000-08:00

Valentine's day this year was far from romantic. I woke up. Changed a poopy diaper. And then another only 30 minutes after. Proceeded with my normal morning routine of feeding, then pumping, then feeding again. Then went off to the YMCA to train for my aqua instructor gig. My dad watched Ada, which was incredibly nice. (I mean how many grandpas feel comfortable watching a baby alone? Thanks again, dad!)

When I got home, he broke the news to me that Stephen had called. Yeah. This year for Valentine's day, we had to buy a new engine for our Subaru Forester. I knew it'd be expensive, but let's just say I joked with my friend Lindsey about how I could buy 800 bottles of Andre (my favorite cheap champagne) with how much it'll cost. I spent the rest of the afternoon totally bummed about the massive financial strain when we're already really tight. Ada cried on and off for most of the afternoon. She is showing some teething symptoms, which seems really early, but Stephen's mom seems to think that he got his teeth early, too.

Stephen got home from work a bit later than usual. He was also in a bad mood. It was cloudy . . . it's always cloudy. I decided to skip my run. We ate leftover Curried Celery Soup for dinner. I made Muddy Buddies for dessert. Then I decided I absolutely needed to get out and train -- so I went for my run, but ended up having major digestive issues (I have had stomach trouble while running since I had Ada -- weird), so it wasn't exactly pleasant. We went to bed early. V-day was over.

Sigh. I think we're going to have to have a re-do sometime this weekend. Stephen has four days off, which is fantastic. Anyone have some really cheap or zero dollars date ideas? I have a few, but haven't decided on anything yet.

Sorry to be a downer! It wasn't all bad. Here are some cute photos I took of our little Valentine:

And here's Ada with her Valentine, Bumble. I made a cute video of them, too. She's seriously in love and will be totally embarrassed when she's older.

So, please make me jealous. What did you do for V-day this year?

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Happy Valentine's Day, Baby A!

2012-02-14T06:19:00.000-08:00

Early in the morning on Valentine's Day last year, I took a pregnancy test two weeks after our first time of "trying" to conceive. Cheesy, I know. I didn't exactly plan it that way -- it was simply the earliest day I could test with a reliable result. Regardless, I just knew I was pregnant. I had all kinds of whacky signs and symptoms like chills, exhaustion, weird pains, etc. So, I took the test . . . anxiously waited for a few minutes and thought about what a fantastic gift this would be for Stephen.

We were going to have a baby!

The minutes ticked by slowly.
I saw a line.
Maybe a second?
Possibly . . . ?
Nope.
It was most definitely NEGATIVE.

I mean of course it was negative. It was our f.i.r.s.t t.i.m.e trying. But I had worked myself up so much with imaginary symptoms. And those two weeks waiting to know for sure were maddening.

So, instead of a baby, I gave Stephen Chinese takeout and some sort of chocolate dessert. The next month? Well . . . I guess this was a good birthday gift.

It's strange to think about if we had conceived that first time. What THAT baby would be like. If it would have been a boy or a girl. If it would have had Stephen's eyes and mouth . . . and my nose and chin. If it would kick and scream or smile and laugh in the same way.

I'm not a terribly spiritual person, but I definitely feel like Ada was somehow meant to be ours. I can't imagine loving any other drooling, pooping, constantly spitting up(ing?) baby quite as much.

Though it has been a journey (if you don't know what I mean, read about Falling in Love with Ada), this love has been more intense than any other bond I have felt.

Ada Mae: You might be the gassiest baby in the world, waking us each and every morning with your symphony of toots (farts, according to Stephen is too crass to use in relation to a baby), but it's music to our ears. We truly do love you and always will.

Like what you just read? You can subscribe to the feed of these posts or follow us on Twitter or Facebook to be the first to know what the (never home)makers are up to. And we’ll love you forever!

12 Weeks Postpartum

2012-02-10T13:15:00.000-08:00

I know I complained quite a bit about not losing baby weight in my 11 weeks postpartum post. I have experienced quite a bit of thinning this week, though. Unfortunately, it's the thinning of my hair. I didn't notice a tremendous thickening during pregnancy. And I have relatively limp locks to begin with. But last night when I got time to shower, I conditioned and combed through my hair with my fingers . . . and then I pulled out what seemed like an entire handful in all.

I read it might happen. Still, I was absolutely horrified. Does anyone know how long the hair loss typically lasts? I'm starting to consider a shorter haircut.

I'm going on 12 weeks without wearing my contacts. My left eye -- especially -- immediately turns red and hurts when they are in. So, I've still be wearing my not-so flattering glasses basically since I gave birth. I ordered 4 pairs to try on from Warby Parker yesterday. (I'll probably need some help figuring out which ones are the best match -- they were all a little too hipster, even for me.)

Hm. I just found this photo a couple days ago. It was taken almost right after giving birth. It definitely helped me see that -- despite not losing weight -- my stomach is getting smaller. I can't believe what a dramatic transformation my body has gone through in the past year. It blows my mind.

Still, now that it's been nearly three months since I was pregnant -- it's hard for me to remember what it felt like. It's also hard to remember how much the labor process hurt. I get a lot of emails from pregnant women asking if I'd go without drugs again. The answer is definitely yes. For my situation, it worked out well. But I know that might not always be the case.

Pain or no pain, I can totally see why people go on and have more children. We're not leaning in that direction anytime soon, but labor didn't scare me from wanting another baby. I'd just like to wait at least two years before thinking about trying again. Between being pregnant and breastfeeding, I'd like at least some time when my body is just my own.

Emotionally, I feel a bit overwhelmed at how fast everything is going. Ada has changed so much since she was born. She was a creature then. And she didn't smile or interact for a long while after that.

Now, she's got such a personality. She seems so much OLDER and it's only been 12 weeks. If the rest of her babyhood goes like this, it'll be over before I know it. That's what everyone tells me, too. I'm not ready for all the milestones to come and go so quickly.

I worry sometimes, too, that I'm not doing what's best for Ada. We have lots of really great days where we play, take walks, learn, and I feel like she's really benefiting from me being home with her for such a long time. I get housework done those days and generally feel like a rock star. Other days, like today, she cries a lot and I sit on the couch all day feeding and napping with her. I feel like I don't know what to do and should be more independent/productive by now since other women already go back to work at this stage.

But then I remind myself that I'm doing the best that I can with the knowledge and love that I have. You have all taught me that the ups and downs are totally normal and expected. So, thank you for that.

Ada's update will be coming soon. As I wrote on the main blog this morning, the lack of posts has been due to getting the new site up and running. I can't wait to have a more exciting spot to blog about my family!

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Ada: 11 Weeks

2012-02-07T17:13:00.000-08:00

If you keep up with the main site, you know that (never home)maker, baby! will be moving in March. You can read more about it in yesterday's post (bonus: a tasty Curried Celery Soup with Mint recipe). I'm really excited about the new site, and I hope you will all join us when we switch over. (never home)maker, baby! will remain up as a chronicle of my pregnancy and the postpartum period.

Now for a brief update of week 11 in Ada's life . . . now that she's almost 12 weeks.

Everyone has told us that as we near the three month mark, Ada's mood will change. And I'm happy to report that her cranky days and evenings are to a minimum. She is most definitely happiest in the mornings. I know babies have good periods and not-so-good ones, but I'm enjoying this upward trend -- with lots of smiles, coos, and dancing feet. I'll take it!

Though we posted this cute photo of Ada in her crib for the nursery tour, she is still sleeping in our room and probably will for at least another couple months.

Why exactly? Well, the reflux thing, while more under control, is still an issue. I've become more relaxed about it -- not freaking out as much when she chokes, etc. -- but I still don't feel comfortable having her sleep in another room until she's a bit better. I keep reading that SIDS rates are higher in infants who have reflux problems.

And there's another thing. Admittedly, I tried moving her Pack 'n Play across the room so it wasn't RIGHT next to me, and I failed miserably. Ten minutes into sleeping, I just had to have it back in place. I need to learn to let go and be more comfortable because I also realize a lot of why we haven't moved her to her dedicated room has to do with me. So, I'm hoping to at least start the process soon. For now, the crib is her go-to place for naps. At the same time, I don't see any reason to force anything.

I mentioned in my postpartum update that I stopped trying to force a schedule. Well, that's worked out wonderfully for us. Ada has her own eat, play, nap or more often eat, nap, play routine worked out in about 3-hour increments. How did I do it? I did nothing. Fingers crossed the "schedule" continues.

Otherwise, Ada and I went for our first jog together since she was in my belly. I struggled pushing the darned thing and she rather enjoyed our time outdoors. I won't get into how we used the BOB too much, as the recommended age for jogging with the stroller is 8 months. But she was strapped in and snugged and secured between towels.

I kept a close eye on her throughout the jog. She fell asleep almost immediately.

I say it all the time: I feel blessed with this warm winter. I think Ada loves being outdoors. If she is crying, I strap her in the Moby and take a stroll around the block. 4 times out of 5, she's sleeping by the time we return home. The other time, she's usually soaking in the sights and sounds of the neighborhood.

I also strapped her in the Moby this week for her first visit to our favorite cafe. (Thanks to our old neighbor Shelby for these photos -- he was up visiting from TX!)

And we have to get a photo with dad in for this week.

Ada is still loving her play-gym and ~~exercise ball~~ rocking chair. Some of you have asked what type of play-gym we have -- after we wrote about it in the Baby Must-Haves, Etc. (0-3 months) post. It's this one from Infantino. It folds up quickly and easily. And it's only $40!

And that's about it!

Like what you just read? You can subscribe to the feed of these posts or follow us on Twitter or Facebook to be the first to know what the (never home)makers are up to. And we’ll love you forever!

11 Weeks Postpartum

2012-02-01T16:53:00.000-08:00

Right about now I'm feeling incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to take seven months off from work. Otherwise, I'd be returning next week. I can't imagine going back right now and have TONS of respect for the women who do. My life is still so unpredictable. I feel like I don't have much of anything together or in a routine.

Part of it might be staying home for the first time since -- well -- ever. I can't remember when I've been home for any extended period. I've always either been in school or working full-time. But any daydreams about maternity leave being a vacation are slashed for sure. Being home with a baby is hard work. Only other moms can truly understand that statement.

Though I started out wanting to force more structure, I can't bring myself to doing it. I don't like to idea of forcing Ada to stay awake after feeding to play if what she seems to want to do is sleep. Or anything else the books, friends, and baby websites tell me I "should" be doing by now. The days I try, Ada is cranky. Going with the flow seems to make her much happier. Still, the unpredictability in my own day makes doing laundry and getting other things done, like blogging, almost impossible.

We're closing in on the 3-month mark. I'm already observing a bit more of a pattern that's evolving . . . naturally. So I'm hoping we'll fall into a schedule that works for the two of us without having to struggle to make it happen. If we don't, I am learning to be cool with that, too. In general, I'm learning to go with the flow and be less controlling, which is a great thing that has come out of being a mom.

I didn't know it until recently, but our town is one of the 10 cloudiest places in the United States. Apparently 212 out of the 365 days a year here are "heavily clouded." What this means is that the house is dark most of the time. In the morning. At noon. And, of course, at night. When I was at work, I was too busy to care much. Being home, I get crazy dips in my mood throughout the day and week.

But we've had several balmy days lately. I'm talking temperatures in the 40s and 50s. The ability to go outdoors has helped tremendously. It was sunny most of the day today -- weird in a great way. Usually, as I mentioned in my video the other day, it's snowy and in the negative digits. I'll relish these warm days while they last. I'll take as many Moby wrap walks, stroller strolls, and baby-on-board jogs as I can.

I am excited for spring like whoa. When Ada reaches 6 months old in May, I can start enrolling in some fun baby classes and meet other moms in my area. I'm already counting the days.

I feel like I need to write a disclaimer before this next part. About how I'm happy to have such a beautiful baby, happy I can breastfeed, and happy to be healthy. Obviously I feel that way about everything. OBVIOUSLY! Still, I'm losing weight, but e.x.t.r.e.m.e.l.y slowly and, for lack of better words, it annoys me. Maybe a pound every 2 to 3 weeks falls off. But just when it seems I've lost more, I'm up again.

Some women just hold onto 5 to 10 pounds while they are breastfeeding.
I am providing Ada with essential nutrients for her growth.
It will come off when we wean.
It's too early to evaluate my weight loss.
Etc., etc., etc.
I know and appreciate all these reasons and more.

At this point, the breastfeeding and weight loss link is a total myth. Well, for me it is. Because it really does feel like every other woman I know or read about in forums, etc., has lost her weight -- and sometimes more -- by the 3 month mark. I'm almost there, and I'm 6 or 7 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight and holding.

As I've written before, I'm not going on any crash diets or anything. It's not and will never be my style. Plus, I'm starving all the time from the breastfeeding, so dieting wouldn't work. Instead, I eat heartily. Good, healthy foods with some desserts mixed in (I can't live a day without gnawing on some form of chocolate or peanut butter -- if that's the problem, I'm unwilling to change). Anyway, it's not the number that matters to me so much. It's the principle!

I can't help but feel cheated. I am running 25 miles a week and racing. I'm eating well and ate well AND ran during my entire pregnancy, too. This is all coming across as a lot of whining, which I guess it is. We're all allowed to do that from time to time. Thanks for reading/listening.

That's enough for this post. Ada's update is coming tomorrow. She has grown a lot these last couple weeks. Especially cognitively. Those days when I couldn't quite figure my feelings toward her are over.

I'm now one of those sappy moms who thinks everything she does is the best. Each of her firsts is like the first time in the WORLD any baby has ever, for example, reached out to touch a toy and bring it to his/her mouth to chew on. My baby is a super-talented and gorgeous genius. What can I say?

Oh, and if you missed it on (never home)maker, I finally got around to posting a photo-tour of Ada's nursery.

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Good morning, Ada Mae!

2012-01-30T18:04:00.000-08:00

Now that I've rediscovered that my D90 takes awesome videos (especially with my 50mm prime lens), I'm hooked. You've all seen tons of photos of her, but now you can see Ada in action. Lights, camera, action. I'm planning to do a "good morning" video every 10 weeks to see how her typical morning routine changes as she grows.

And I must admit that I've watched this video 20,000 times by now. Even though I have the real thing sitting next to me.

Hope you enjoy! It's getting late, and we still need to give Ada her bath (which we've actually changed to a shower -- more on that soon).

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Breastfeeding: The Early Weeks

2012-01-27T09:01:00.000-08:00

Wow. We're already on the 100th baby post! Today is all about breastfeeding in the first couple weeks. (Breastfeeding in general would be another monster post, much like how the Baby Must-Haves, Etc., turned out.) Anyway: Breastfeeding. The process continues to amaze me. First, I'll admit that my initial decision to breastfeed wasn't 100% driven by the health benefits Ada enjoys. That was a big chunk of it. But some of it was selfish. And some of it -- practical.

Actually, it was roughly broken down into thirds:

1/3 - Ada's health
1/3 - My health and, yeah, weight loss
1/3 - Financial reasons

How do I feel two and a half months after starting our adventure? Ada's health and weight gain is absolutely the most important to me of all these reasons. It must be a mom-thing -- caring more about her than myself. My weight loss has yet to be mind-blowing. And financially, I haven't yet had time to crunch the numbers.

But let's back up for a minute.

Breastfeeding hasn't always been a picnic for us. (Well, maybe for Ada -- she is eating, after all.) I feel very fortunate that Ada has taken to it and we seem to have hit a good rhythm. She had a strong latch from birth, but those first couple weeks were painful, stressful, and frustrating.

To first-time pregnant ladies out there: Whether or not you plan to breastfeed, the whole "coming-in" of the milk is, in a word, OUCH. It was something I wasn't prepared for. Of course, books mention ways to deal with engorgement and discomfort. But I didn't think I'd be reeling in pain, crying on the couch every night for 2 weeks straight.

I cried from the physical pain. But it was emotional, too. I think part of my emotional struggle stemmed from all the hormones in the postpartum period. They made me incredibly weepy. But a huge part of it was trouble dealing with my new body. I've always rocked a 34 A cup. Tiny. I actually like things this way, and it's what I'm used to. During pregnancy, I got fuller, but not by anything measurable. Then I had Ada. One day I woke up and -- BAM -- I had BOOBS. Not only that, but huge, rock-hard boobs that were dripping milk everywhere. I felt like a walking freak-show. I felt gross. I hated it and considered not breastfeeding because I somehow thought they would stay that way.

When Ada would nurse, it was excruciating. She was latching correctly according to my lactation consultant. Still, it hurt. A lot. When she wasn't nursing, it would also hurt a lot. I always felt way too full -- especially at night -- which I've since learned is just the body's way of regulating how much milk it produces and when. I thought it would last forever this way, and I almost quit because of it.

My midwife assured me that it would get better. Friends and family did, too. It was difficult, but I decided I would give it till the 6 week mark.

A lot of people describe a clockwork-like feeding schedule -- every 2 hours in those first weeks. For us, it was a bit different. We had to wake her up to eat, which I've read is common with babies born a bit early. She was so sleepy. We'd let her go up to 3 hours without eating (with the doctor's OK), but I spent a lot of time worrying that without Ada driving her schedule, my supply would be all screwed up. (I spent a lot of time worrying about e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g Ada did or didn't do early on, but with breastfeeding, I tended to be a wreck, Googling things every five minutes.) That's the big thing you read about with the beginnings of breastfeeding. The baby dictates how much milk he/she needs. Thankfully, Ada started driving the ship around her 3 week birthday.

From that point on to the 6 week mark, we fed every 2 or 3 hours during the day. Sometimes a longer stretch for a long afternoon nap (4 hours). And at night it was every 3 or 4 hours. Of course, there were a few growth spurts in there where I'd find myself on the couch during marathon cluster-feeding episodes (where babies feed every hour for hours on end). Those aren't fun at all. But I've already complained enough about them in other posts.

There were certainly times when I freaked out because I felt tethered to Ada. I felt pressure from all the feeding falling on my shoulders (or boobs?). Like I would never have a life again. Feeding WAS my life. But this has gotten much better as the weeks have gone on and I've gotten out of the house more.

I always wondered if she was getting enough to eat. I'm a see-it-to-believe-it kind of person. I had to let her dirty/wet diapers do the talking. Her weight gain was consistent, though, and she seemed healthy and hydrated. The not knowing part is difficult. I actually started pumping a bottle a day with my hand-pump around the three-week mark because I was curious about how much I was producing at a time. I'd get 1 ounce the first week or so. Then I would be able to get a consistent 2 ounces.

It made me feel better. But I've since read that pumping before the 6 week mark can sometimes mess with supply. So, I wouldn't necessarily recommend doing what I did. I didn't have any issues, fortunately.

I learned how to distinguish between different sucking patterns. 1.) The active eating kind, where her jaw would move rhythmically and she'd gulp the milk. 2.) The comfort kind, where she would have her eyes closed and suck softly, and trail off. She never used me as a pacifier to the point where it drove me crazy, but we did eventually decide to give her a pacifier (a Soothie) because she really likes to suck. I can't remember exactly, but I think the first time we gave her a pacifier was around 4 or 5 weeks.

We gave her a bottle (a Tommee Tippee) around 5 to 6 weeks and did not experience any type of nipple confusion. Though it's not the case every time, most of my friends and family have reported little confusion by this week mark. Giving a bottle is much more work for me because I used stored milk, but still have to pump during that feeding to keep my supply up. I'm planning to write a post more about bottles specifically in the future. So, if you have questions, let us know!

To put it simply: The first weeks of breastfeeding can be painful, confusing, nerve-wracking, and -- at times -- overwhelming. I relied a lot on the things I've read, the cues I got from Ada, and from a few in-person and on-the-phone chats with my lactation consultant. There were many times I wanted to quit because it got to be too much or too frustrating, but now that I'm a seasoned pro (haha -- no, but I've been going almost 3 months now), I can tell you that what everyone says is true. It DOES get easier. By 6 weeks, I was happy I decided to stick with it.

And just look at her! She went from weighing 7 pounds, 5 ounces at her 2-week appointment to 10 pounds, 2 ounces at her 2-month checkup.

I think that's about it. The most common question we've received in our email has been about the early weeks. But if you have other questions, I'd be happy to try and answer them. Just leave a comment or email us at neverhomemaker [at] gmail [dot] com.

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Our Nature "Hike"

2012-01-24T11:11:00.000-08:00

It's rare to get a semi-warm day in January around these parts. And by semi-warm, I mean above 20 degrees. So, we took full advantage -- starting with a tour of the backyard and continuing on with a little walk around the neighborhood.

Beats walking around the house.
Beats mall-walking.
Real. Fresh. Air.

I mention it in the video, but I did splurge on a Peekaru vest for chilly days. It should work for at least the first two winters. It's silly looking, but definitely functional. We bought a size that'll fit Stephen as well.

Underneath the vest, I'm wearing a really stretchy fleece hoodie, zipped over her Moby carrier. Toasty!

It's been a while since we did any video posts. You'll have to excuse the no-makeup and hair. Being a mom of a newborn (is she still considered a newborn?) sure does change things. At least during the week! But I'm not apologizing. :)

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Good Question: Baby Must-Haves, Etc. (0-3 Months)

2012-01-23T07:50:00.000-08:00

Elaina writes: "I'm 25 weeks pregnant with our first child. Time is running out with being able to register for things. I don't know what we need compared to what the stores say we need. What have you used most and what have you not needed?"

Well, Elaina. You asked. And I've tried my best to answer with this MONSTER post. Keep in mind that what works and doesn't work for us may not be the same for you or anyone else. I'd love for other readers to chime in and add their must haves and things they happily did without!

GLAD WE BOUGHT:

a.) Exercise Ball
b.) Wall Mural
c.) Crib with Storage
d.) Sanitizing Bags
e.) Fake candles
f.) Wet/Dry Bag

a.) I used our exercise ball nightly during pregnancy -- and during labor -- to bounce away aches and pains. But now, it's a sure-thing to get Ada to stop crying. Just hold her, sit, and bounce. Works every time. b.) We have a very simple black tree wall mural from Target. The contrast catches Ada's attention whenever I nurse her in her nursery. She loves it. It was easy to put up and cheap! Only $19.99. c.) We picked our crib because we liked it from what we saw on Young House Love. Now, all that extra storage space is really earning our love because we can fit all Ada's sheets, towels, and blankets in its drawer. Fantastic! d.) I spent a good amount of time sanitizing Ada's bottles and my breast pump each morning. My friend Lindsey told me about the reusable sanitizing bags you can use in the microwave, and now I'm hooked. e.) We purchased those fake flickering candles for my "birth experience" -- but we all know how that went. Now I use them nightly when Stephen brings Ada into bed to nurse. They allow me to see her without switching on all the lights. And Ada gets a candlelit meal out of the deal. f.) As you may have already seen, we had a bit of a makeshift diapering center set up on our dining room table. We use our wet/dry bag several times a day to eliminate trips up the stairs to her more permanent diaper setup.

THANKFUL TO HAVE BORROWED/ACQUIRED:

a.) Swaddlers
b.) Bumbo Seat
c.) Rocker Seat
d.) Manual Breastpump
e.) Maternity Clothes
f.) Car Seat Cover/Snuggler

a.) Some babies like 'em. Some babies don't. My friend Lindsey let us borrow her son's swaddlers, and Ada's enjoyed them immensely. But now that she's growing out of them, I'm happy we were able to borrow. b.) Ada's just starting to use my friend April's daughters' Bumbo seat. She looks adorable in the thing AND is working out those muscles needed for sitting. c.) April also let us borrow a rocker seat. It's actually what Ada sleeps inside at night to keep her head elevated/help with the reflux issues. d.) My friend Erin gave me her new, but never used Harmony Medela breastpump. I use it daily. I might be one of the most valuable of all items we have on hand. e.) Several friends let me borrow maternity clothes at different stages of my pregnancy. I had some of my own, too, that I hope to return the favor with. But it was great having so many options and sizes as my body changed and grew. f.) April also let us borrow her car seat snuggler. It's really chilly where we live, so we'll be getting good use out of it these first several months. That's for sure!

HAVE, BUT HAVEN'T USED:

a.) Wipe Warmer
b.) A gazillion 0-3 month clothes
c.) Electric Breast Pump
d.) Several bottles
e.) Nursing Wear
f.) Fancy Thermometer

a.) We do intend to use our wipe warmer, as you'll see below, but I don't see the device as a necessity. Even in a colder climate. b.) We love all the little outfits that were gifted to us. But most of them were in the 0-3 month size. While we love dressing Ada up, at this age is simply isn't practical to have lots of dresses and hoodies. She's most often dressed in sleepers and -- with all her spitting up -- bibs. c.) Erin also let me have an electric breastpump she didn't use. I'll be home for 7 months, and I'm not building a huge freezer supply. So, I don't necessarily see myself using it. And for moms who plan to spend a long while home, an expensive electric breastpump may not be necessary. d.) The same goes with bottles. We have five total. Breastfeeding is working out well for us, but even if it hadn't -- I am glad we waited and didn't buy tons of bottles. Out of the five, we use two on a regular basis. e.) I have 3 nursing camisoles, a bra, and two nursing shirts. Otherwise, I wear regular t-shirts to bed and have repurposed several low-cut shirts/etc. instead of buying dedicated nursing wear. That stuff is expensive and not particularly cute! f.) Our doctor told us that rectal temperature readings are most accurate. (Sorry, Ada!) So, we have a $7 thermometer we bought at our local drug store.

DON'T HAVE, BUT HAVEN'T NEEDED:

a.) Changing Table
b.) Crib Mobile
c.) Parenting Books
d.) Organic Everything
e.) Video Monitor (image credit)
f.) Coordinated Bedding/Room Decor

a.) We either change Ada on the dining room table or the floor. OK. We realize that she'll eventually be in her nursery. Still, we were able to repurpose our media console and use it as a dresser and changer in one. Saves space, too. b.) Ada's a very visual baby. And she likes to take in lots of stimulating prints in a few decorative items near her crib. (I promise I'll post a full nursery tour soon!) We haven't needed a mobile for this reason. c.) I read way too many pregnancy books. Information overload. In the end, I didn't need a lot of the advice I read. And I learned way more from my real life and online friends (and family/doctors/etc.) anyway! We've approached parenting -- so far -- in much the same way. d.) Of course it's always nice to splurge on organic toys, clothing, soaps, and other materials. But we haven't been stuck on buying only organic this or that. We don't have the budget for it. Ada is still a happy, healthy baby. e.) We have one of the most basic baby monitors on the market. Our house is tiny. While I'd love to watch her sleep and see exactly what she's doing at all times, it's not worth the extra money for us. Plus, I can imagine this type of surveillance might drive me crazy. We'll see how I feel about this item once Ada is sleeping in her crib full time. f.) I made the curtains, crib skirt, and other decorative textiles for Ada's room. Her crib sheets are basic and off-white. We love the look, and it cost us very little.

WISH WE INVESTED IN:

a.) Glider/Rocker
b.) Cosleeper (image credit)
c.) Cloth Wipes
d.) Socks
e.) Additional Car Seat Adapter
f.) Birth Announcements/Newborn Photo Session

a.) We inherited the rocker Stephen's mom used with him when he was a baby. It's worked out well and the sentimental value is off the charts. Still, I've REALLY enjoyed my time at friends' houses feeding Ada on their gliders. b.) The Pack 'n Play has served its purpose. Those first weeks, though, were difficult. And we still don't know when we'll transition Ada to her crib at night. I've since learned about bedside cosleepers from a few readers. I should have done my research! I think it would have worked out well for us. c.) I feel like we go through 2 boxes of wipes a day. So, we're going to start using cloth wipes. But I wish we had sooner. Also, we're making our own out of flannel and store them in our wipe warmer. I'll be sure to post about that soon. d.) For some odd reason, I only bought three pairs of socks for Ada in her current size. I can't find one pair . . . and I always seem to be missing one from the other two pairs. I finally bought some more this weekend. e.) We don't take many car trips, but without a car seat adapter, we don't have much flexibility with what car we're taking where. It's definitely not a necessity, but sometimes I feel like it'd be nice to have options. f.) I take lots of photos. However, I sincerely wish we had invested in getting REAL newborn photos taken of Ada at her smallest. Photos of the three of us as a family, too. I guess it's never too late. I feel like we missed out, though!

HOUSEHOLD ITEMS, REPURPOSED:

a.) Hair Dyer
b.) Dining Room Table
c.) Aerobic Stepper
d.) Media Console
e.) Ceiling Fan
f.) Towels

a.) Yeah. Ada will probably be on that My Strange Addiction show someday. But she truly loves my little hair dryer when it's on low. b.) I've mentioned it multiple times. No eating goes on atop our dining room table right now. Just lots of diaper changes. We'll reclaim the table someday soon, I hope! c.) We have a stepper that we used as a step to allow me to get in and out of our relatively high-off-the-ground bed. It was a lifesaver in the postpartum period. I even used it as a sort of nursing stool for a while, too. d.) As I wrote above, we didn't buy a nursery set. Nor did we buy a dresser or changing table. We took our TV stand and used it for BOTH purposes. It is working out beautifully and have lots of room for storage. e.) This one is sort of silly, but it seems our ceiling fan in the bedroom is now an entertainment device. On its own, Ada enjoys it . . . but I sometimes attach/hang her toys from it if I'm folding laundry and want to give her something fun to look at. f.) We use our bath towels for everything. Underneath the changing pad on the dining room table, as heavy duty burp cloths, as makeshift blankets, as props, etc.

REGISTRY FAVORITES:

a.) Cloth Diapers
b.) Nursing Cover
c.) Swing/Bouncer Combo
d.) Moby Wrap
e.) Night Light
f.) Links

a.) The cloth diapers my mother-in-law bought us have had quite a workout. Now that we're fully into cloth diapering, I can't see going back to disposables. I know some people consider cloth diapers a fad, but they make sense (and cents!) financially. They are also really easy to use. Why not? b.) I haven't breastfed in public yet. However, Ada was born over the holidays. We were around tons of family and friends -- and I didn't want to miss the festivities. My nursing cover is great! c.) The swing we chose actually is a 2-in-1 device where the seat comes out and is also a bouncer. In the early weeks, Ada slept in the bouncer. Now, if she's enjoying the swing and I want to take a shower or do some chores, I just pick her up and take her with me. d.) My friend Lindsey gave me my Moby wrap. I gave her the one she uses with her son. We both agree that that long piece of fabric is a wonder. It was an instant-calmer when Ada was first born. And now she loves to ride in it facing out if she's fussy. e.) My friend Jesslynn bought us our turtle night light. It shines stars in different colors on the ceiling. We like the soft light. I can see that Ada will love it for many years to come. She often stares up at the ceiling as she's falling asleep. f.) We got links from several people. They're a fun toy on their own, but I use them for everything, including hanging toys lower in Ada's activity gym, tethering things to her stroller, and hanging things from the ceiling fan.

GREAT GIFTS WE'VE RECEIVED:

a.) Activity Gym
b.) Hand Puppets
c.) Zippered Sleepers
d.) Diaper Burp Cloths
e.) Teething Necklace
f.) Clothes in Larger Sizes

a.)We initially resisted an activity gym for some odd reason. We just didn't want lots of stuff cluttering our space. But then my parents gifted us with a space-saving version. Ada loves it. And it twists and folds away wonderfully. b.) When we received some hand puppets in the mail from Stephen's Aunt Sandy, I thought it'd be a while before she could enjoy them. Wrong. Her favorite thing in this world is the bee puppet. It gets her to smile for hours. c.) Two words: Zippered sleepers! So much easier than snaps. d.) Our former neighbors Shelby and Leslie sent us these awesome woven, pre-fold cloth diapers with colorful patches on them. They are wonderful burp cloths. So absorbent. e.) My in-laws got me a teething necklace for Christmas. Even though Ada isn't at the stage where she can use it to the fullest, she loves tugging on it while she eats. f.) We are fully stocked with clothing in the 3-6 and 6-12 month sizes. So, we are super enthusiastic when we get clothes that are bigger than that. Money is tight, so knowing Ada will be clothed even next year is a comfort :)

So, there you have it. Probably more than you ever wanted to read about the stuff we use for baby Ada in her first three months. I'm sure our list will change and adapt to her age and our needs. Honestly, the NEEDS versus WANTS is difficult to distinguish. There are a lot of things we've just learned to not live without. But if I had to choose only one item off this list, I think I couldn't live without the cloth diapers.

Hope this helps!

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2 Month Update

2012-01-18T10:26:00.000-08:00

Today marks Ada's 9 week birthday. Yesterday morning, my mom went with me to Ada's 2 month appointment. It was a tremendous help because I had TONS of questions. But first: This little girl has grown so much since birth. She's 22 inches long, 10.2 pounds, and measuring perfectly -- right along her growth curve.

As our pediatrician joked: "The boob-juice is working!"

Before we met with our new doctor, the nurse did all these measurements . . . and right when we were telling her our concerns for the day (the biggest of which was her continued issues with reflux), Ada spit up all over the table . . . a couple hours after eating. Sort of like she was saying: "Exhibit A." Right?

The episode is nothing new. For this reason, bibs are SO the fashion statement for babies this winter. Ada will be wearing one all day, every day until her tiny tummy learns to hold in all that milk.

The doctor came in soon after, and I immediately knew that I had made the right decision with switching from our previous pediatrician. She is on top of everything and spent a load of time with us making sure everything on my long list of questions was answered. The other doc was fine, but I just click with this new one. The level of comfort makes me feel confident we're getting the best care available.

Overall, Ada is very healthy. She's on target with developmental milestones. The doc decided it'd be a good decision to up the dosage of her current reflux med and see if that helps with the choking -- so we're giving that a try. So far, so good. She also gave me a bunch of handouts about how to treat colds in infants (Ada has a few sniffles), an outline of all well visit appointments, and information detailing what was in all the shots, and -- oh, wait -- yeah, SHOTS.

Of course, I knew they (all three of them) were coming. I even laughed with my mom at the beginning of the appointment about it. "I don't know why moms cry when their babies get shots," I said. "They need them. That is that."

When the nurse came in with the dreaded needles, she told me I could gently distract Ada by holding her upper body. I decided to play with her hands and let her hold onto my pinky fingers. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the first needle penetrate her skin. Then Ada let out this little wail and quickly inhaled, held her breath with the saddest face I've ever, EVER seen, and SCREAMED.

My mom and I both had tears in our eyes. I was not at all expecting to feel so upset. It was just so hard seeing her in pain, looking so betrayed. Like: "You're supposed to PROTECT me from these things, mommy!"

The rest of the day, Ada was sleepy. With the exception of a quick and massive blowout, she slept most of the afternoon. Which reminds me. Breastfeeding moms: What's the deal with sleep at this stage? In the past week Ada started sleeping 7- to 9-hour stretches at a time. Our ped said we shouldn't let her go more than 5 hours at night. I'm inclined to just let her sleep, however, since she's gaining weight and is otherwise healthy.

Hmmm . . .

Our next appointment is at 4 months where we'll get yet another round of the shots. I'm hoping she forgets the trauma by then. Unfortunately, I know for sure that I won't.

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Ada: 8 Weeks

2012-01-13T04:41:00.000-08:00

Ada is now 8 weeks old. Almost two months! Her personality is blooming. She smiles. She coos. She plays on her activity mat. She grasps at links and rattles. She looks at EVERYTHING. She sleeps 7 to 8 hours at night. And sometimes a few hours more after a quick feeding. (I've been told to enjoy it now, as sleep patterns change like the wind.)

She's also spitting up all the time . . . STILL!

I think the biggest news this week is that I thought her reflux was getting better, but it isn't. Yesterday morning I woke to find she had slept for 8 hours (which initially scared me). I fed her and we laid back down for another couple hours before heading downstairs. That second time we woke up, she spit up all over . . . I mean a TON, probably two to three tablespoons . . . and choked several times. When we got downstairs, it continued. Listening to Ada choke terrifies me more than anything else ever has. All I can hear in the back of her throat is liquid. No air. She looks terrified, too. Completely helpless.

Thankfully after those two morning scares, she was much better the rest of the day. We have our 2-month checkup on Tuesday with the new pediatrician. I'm not thrilled at the idea of putting her on a stronger medicine (and don't know if that will be the suggestion). But the choking has to stop. It's been happening at least once a day. To stop it, I'm open to almost anything.

I've come to accept that unless I tuck Ada's pants into her socks, she will take them off as soon as she can. I know there's nothing unusual about babies not liking socks, but it's January in the Northeast. It's cold even with our heat on. Her toes feel like ice-pops most of the time, but she doesn't seem to care. She's rather have naked feet.

So, Ada wears her socks tucked into her pants that stretch over her too-big cloth diapers. She looks like a little old man sometimes. I've promised her that in spring she'll wear dresses and feel much cuter.

That 3-hour schedule I mentioned the other day? Yeah. It totally didn't work. We tried for two days, which may not be enough time. But I think, as many of you commented, Ada is too young to start planning out the day so rigidly. My plan for now is to let her dictate things for the next month and to then try again.

What I have gained, though, is a feeling of comfort letting her nap in her nursery. Now that we've done it for a week, once or twice a day, using the monitor (and we just have an old-school audio one) is much less scary. I'm learning what she sounds like. I'm learning to let her be away from me. And during the day, her reflux is less of a problem.

Once I get even more comfortable, we're thinking of moving her to the nursery. Maybe by 3 months.

Yup. Ada has a Sophie. So far, they aren't exactly friends. I think the squeaking noise is unsettling to her. Still, I can tell we'll be able to break out a whole bunch more toys soon. Ada's head control is amazing. She bats at things in her activity gym. She has a good awareness of her hands and is starting to get that way with her feet.

She even rolls onto her side quite frequently. (Notice the naked feet.) It's just too bad that her GERD flares up when she's on her back for so long. Usually we have to wait an entire hour or more before playing on the floor. Even then we have problems.

Despite all this movement and awareness, she can't find her thumb to save her life. She tries so hard!!!

We bought a new scale for Christmas. I weighed myself on it holding Ada. She weighs 11 pounds! Probably more now, since that weigh-in was over the weekend. I'm amazed at how she's grown on breast milk alone, especially in length. There are some 0-3 month clothes that -- with cloth diapers underneath -- I'll need to pack away this weekend. Oh. And her newborn stuff? It looks like doll clothing.

This girl is getting big! I can't believe how fast two months has gone. I know that everyone says stuff like this about their babies. But it's SO TRUE. Older parents tell me that I'll blink and she'll be graduated from college. I'm hoping the holidays are partially to blame for the lightning speed. We'll see.

Please keep thriving, but slow down, Ada.

(And no. That sock didn't last long.)

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8 Weeks Postpartum

2012-01-11T07:32:00.000-08:00

Today is Ada is 8 weeks old. I haven't done a postpartum update in a few weeks, so I thought I'd focus on myself. Ada is trying a schedule for the first time this morning. I'm listening to her over the monitor now. We're attempting an hour-long nap after 15 minutes of eating and and hour and 45 minutes of play. I'm hoping she'll give me some time to type this out!

Now that Ada is sleeping longer stretches -- usually a 5 or 6-hour one followed by a 3 or 4-hour one -- I'm feeling refreshed. We head up to bed sometime between 8:30 and 9:00 PM with the goal of being asleep by 9:30 or 10:00 PM. It's working for us, though I certainly miss watching TV shows like Portlandia. We don't really know what's "normal" for a nighttime routine, and we'd like to get more comfortable leaving Ada alone to sleep so we could spend some more time together in the evenings. We're getting closer by giving her naps in the day in her nursery. Thankfully, I haven't had any more sleep paralysis episodes.

If you follow the main site, you know that I ran my first post-baby race this past weekend. Physically, I'm feeling great. I got to the point this week where 4 miles no longer feels like a grueling workout. Instead, it's just an easy run.

As a result, I'll need to rework my original post-baby training schedule (below). My ultimate goal this spring is to run a half marathon at the beginning of May. Before that race, I have several more 10Ks, a 4-miler, and a 15K planned. Looking back, I deliberately chose a conservative training approach because I had no idea what I'd feel like after Ada was born. Flexibility has been the key with everything during and after pregnancy.

Yes. My body continues to heal and rebound. I have only lost a pound or two since I last wrote about my weight. I'm still not dieting, but I've given my daily meals a makeover, and I'm feeling much more energetic and healthy as a result. It's hard to find times to sit down and eat a meal . . . and then register that I've actually eaten it.

My goal at this point is to ultimately lose another 9 or 10 pounds to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm thinking when my running gets more back to normal, the weight will come off faster. For now, I'm focusing less on the numbers and much more on getting back to my pre-baby speed and mileage. I've always been more focused on my athletic ability than the number on the scale. Sadly, it's easy to get caught in the comparison trap between the before-and-after -- especially when it seems like others slim down more quickly -- so I'm working to not let it get me down.

Breastfeeding is still going well. I mentioned how Ada is sleeping longer stretches, but it isn't coming without a price. It seems like every other day, she has taken to massively annoying cluster-feeding sessions in the afternoons and evenings. It's gotten so bad that getting in my runs (cooking dinner, relaxing, spending time with Stephen, etc., etc., etc.) is difficult. I'll skip upstairs to get ready only to come back downstairs to a hungry baby. That's me feeding her before my run last night. I got back after 35 minutes and she needed to eat again not long after we finished dinner.

Also: I guess this counts as my first time breastfeeding in public?

My current struggle is scheduling my life. I know there are many schools of thought on scheduling the day. Or not. I've always been a planner, so it's been difficult to live day-to-day only having a loose understanding of what I'll be able to get done. Yesterday, for example, I had a few things on my to-do list: Post on both blogs, cook dinner, do the diaper and bedding laundry, clean the family room, and weed through my clothing. From the items on that list, I accomplished doing the diaper laundry and washing the sheets (they are still in the washing machine!), I half-cleaned the family room, I cooked dinner . . . but left the kitchen a disaster in its wake. And I hardly got online for more than a few minutes here and there.

I realize I'm being hard on myself. But now that Ada is almost two months old, I feel like I should have at least some control over my days. Not just for my own mental satisfaction, but also for the good of the household. I'm home. I should be able to get at least a few things done! At the suggestion of several blog friends (thanks, ladies!), we're trying the 3-hour baby schedule. As I mentioned above, it's roughly 15 minutes of eating, 2 hours of play (though, I think Ada is still a bit young and needs more sleep), and then a 45 minute nap. We're only in the first cycle of it, but so far so good.

I finished this post, at least! Thanks for all of your thoughtful comments and emails in response to the Falling in Love with Ada post. I'm glad many of you found you could relate or that it was helpful in some way.

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Falling in Love with Ada

2012-01-06T16:48:00.000-08:00

I wrote in my birth story that when I had finally pushed Ada out into the world, I didn't immediately gush over her. I didn't feel that super-charged, all-encompassing love that so many mothers weep over on those early morning baby shows. The kind of love that so many mothers I know in real life have told me about. Instead, I felt spent and guilty that I didn't somehow feel more. You know. In love. With my baby.

That's what's natural, right? I carried and nurtured her for nine months. And just look at that face!

In these first seven weeks, I've felt much the same. There have been many good times and quite a few bad. Especially recently. There have been days where I've gone to bed thinking I'm a horrible mother. Why exactly? Well: I've actually been angry with my baby. And I'd think: "Why on EARTH would I ever have a reason to be ANGRY with my baby?"

It'd take no time at all to think of why. I'd list off things like . . .

When she's screaming her head off and no amount of swaddling, side-laying, shushing, sucking, or swaying will calm her.
When she's feeding -- AGAIN -- for the fifth time in five hours. My butt glued to the couch.
When she's spitting up -- AGAIN -- for the fifth time in five hours. (Usually on my chest.)
When I've been too busy/occupied with her to leave the house in three days.
When my mental and physical energy is so zapped that I can't imagine ever going for a run again.
When I realize I haven't taken a shower in several days despite aforementioned spit-up episodes.
When an hour drive to visit our best friends results in turning around not long after arriving there because of a mega-crank episode. On New Year's Eve!
Did I mention the day-after-day afternoon-to-nightly cluster-feeding?!

Of course, none a one of these things are Ada's fault. I know that in my rational mind. Still, I debated posting about this topic since it doesn't exactly seem socially acceptable to feel the way I do sometimes. I know I'm not alone, though. Until recently, I didn't know when that moment was going to happen for me. I was scared it might not happen ever. The head-over-heels falling-in-love-with-my-baby moment. So many mothers I know are already there. Or have been there since minute one. In that sweet spot.

To me, it was truly elusive. I was growing more desperate to find it by the day. And there would be times when I thought it had happened. But then I'd get dragged down again. Mostly by my own frustration with not feeling how I thought I should feel.

Ada is nearly two months old, and I didn't feel this powerful love until today. What happened? She finally smiled at me. She's been half-smirking in her sleep since birth. But today she finally looked up at me with her eyes bright and wide . . . and smiled.

It was like this smile. Only much better because it was the first.

What I've learned is that falling in love with Ada was -- and continues to be -- a process. A getting-to-know her. I've always loved her, but that strong bond, that affection that now courses through my veins didn't come until I finally felt like I actually am starting to know her.

She's getting to know me, too. I can see it in her eyes. In the way she follows me as I enter/leave a room.

Anyway, I wanted to write this post for the new moms out there who might feel similarly. Or for women pregnant for the first time. Each individual woman's motherhood experience is different -- that's for sure. Universal, I imagine, is the guilt that seems built in to pretty much everything.

It's getting better every day, though.

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Cloth Diapers: How It's Going

2012-01-04T09:35:00.000-08:00

We've been using our cloth diapers for just over a month now. We started as soon as Ada could fit into them, really. Overall, the process has evolved quite naturally. There are a gazillion posts on cloth diapers out there, so what we do isn't anything new.

Still, I thought I'd write a quick bit about how it's going for us.

I probably already mentioned what we're using. But to recap: We have 10 BumGenius 4.0s with snaps and 12 Bummis Tots Bots Easy Fits. So far, both types are working out well for us, but -- as suspected -- each has good points and bad.

The BumGenius (above) are doing wonderfully in the wash. The first couple times we used them, I noticed some yellow staining (which I've read tends to fade very well in the sun). In more recent washes, this hasn't been much of an issue. I'm just not thrilled each time we wash to have to reach in and pull out the smelly, sopping wet insert. However, I feel like we end up using more of this type because they dry so quickly. The inserts pop in the dryer and the outer part takes around 5-6 hour to dry on our line in the basement. All those snaps can be annoying if Ada is fussing during a diaper change . . . which happens frequently.

The Bummis (above) are awesome because the velcro is sturdy and strong. It slaps on her bum in two seconds flat. In the wash, these diapers are also great because all we need to do is toss them in. The all-in-one design features a liner that agitates out on its own! Though I have read (and practiced a few times) that you can machine dry the entire thing, it does compromise the integrity after time. We want to keep our diapers as fresh as possible, but line drying the Tots Bots can take a while. Usually 12 hours. Staining is a much bigger issue, too. Something about the bamboo seems to attract more yellow stains, and I've read that this issue isn't exclusive to our household.

To launder, we set our very basic, top-loading washing machine to the hot-cold temperature, 2 rinses, heavy duty cycle for the longest length (14 minutes). A lot of people ask me if it's absolutely disgusting to deal with day-old waste. Yes. It isn't pleasant. But you have to touch it all day long regardless. I just hold my breath, get it done, and immediately wash my hands.

Now, the process doesn't seem so bad.

Detergent: We've been using Purex Ultra -- Hypoallergenic. We use maybe a tablespoon of detergent because we read that's the best way to do it. In choosing the detergent, we tried to be realistic. I don't want to spend scads for diaper-specific brands. I also don't want to ruin what we have. The Purex we're using seems to be working well and got relatively good marks on several detergent charts I looked up.

To boost the stain-busting, we're currently adding a half scoop of Baby Oxiclean. (I imagine regular Oxiclean will work, too. We just received a couple tubs of the Baby variety for a shower gift.)

When everything is done hang-drying, etc., I bring everything upstairs to stuff, snap, and velcro for use. It's as easy as that. Half of the supply gets placed on our dining room table for day, half gets placed upstairs for night-time changes.

By the way, we tend to use the snaps during the day and the velcro at night. Less brain power needed in the dark hours that way.

Yup. You caught that. We're still using our dining room table for diapering. It's not glamorous, but it's working well for us at this time.

With 22 diapers in all, we end up doing laundry every other day. Ada goes through about 10 diapers a day. Though, sometimes more. This is my other annoyance with cloth diapering. We're still getting down the whole please-Ada-don't-pee-on-your-fresh-diaper thing. I feel like we end up "wasting" around 2 diapers a day. But I guess I'd rather have to do more laundry than suffer with more trash.

Excuse the horror movie basement:

Oh, yeah. That's the other awesome thing. In our city, we pay for trash tags. In the first couple weeks Ada was sporting disposables, our trash was through the roof. It's great to get rid of the stinky garbage bins and know that we aren't adding a pile of crap (literally) to our local landfill. To me, even if you take away the environmental aspect, it's just strange to picture a pile of her dirty diapers hanging out. Maybe it's just me!

In addition to our pale upstairs (a plastic, slim line Simple Human garbage can with liners), we bought a Planet Wise wet/dry bag in size medium. We use this bag downstairs and also take it with us when we travel. That's right -- we've been traveling (minimally) with our cloth diapers. Just day trips so far, but it's juts as easy as when we used disposable. The only difference is that we have to haul the dirty diapers with us. But it's not been a big deal.

I guess a silly annoyance we both have is that since Ada is so small and the diapers are still bulky on her, she looks ridiculous in some of her clothes. Poor girl. Her butt is stuffed, so even her 3 month pants fit snugly.

I imagine as she gets a bit bigger and fits them better, it won't seem as exaggerated.

On the horizon: We'd like to try fleece/bamboo/cloth wipes (specifically, I thought and have read that these Thirsties wipes work well). At first I thought they sounded gross. But we go through so many wipes a day, it's getting annoying. Anyone have experience with these? I guess I don't know how many we would need. I feel like we use so many I'd need to have hundreds on hand!

Anyway, that's how Ada gets her change on.

Now, if only I could get some time for a shower . . . or at least time to change out of my pajamas!

If you have questions about our cloth diapering practice, let us know. As well, if you have suggestions, we'd love to hear them! Just leave a comment or email us at neverhomemaker [at] gmail [dot] com.

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Ada: 6 Weeks

2012-01-03T07:13:00.000-08:00

Ada's sixth week (and -- yes -- tomorrow marks week 7) of life was crazy between all the Christmas and New Year festivities. Stephen had eleven days off from work, and I don't think there was a single day of that stretch that we weren't doing something with family or friends.

Good times -- but I think he's exhausted today!

Ada's favorite Christmas gift has to be her baby gym that my parents gave her. She gets all excited and kicks her legs, waves her arms, and almost smiles. (Yeah. We haven't seen what we'd consider a "real smile" yet.)

I just wish she didn't have such a problem with reflux. We usually have to wait quite a while after meals to let her enjoy it.

A close second is this carousel. It plays Christmas music! My grandmother gave it to her. At first, Stephen and I thought: "Great, this is a little advanced . . ." But then we switched it on, and Ada just stared in wonder at all the colored lights and the moving horses.

Some holiday week firsts included Ada's first play-date . . . with Gavin!

And her first brew session:

The night before Christmas, I snapped a photo of our current sleep situation.

As I mentioned above, we're still having trouble with Ada's spitting-up problem. The medicine she's on is working OK. Still, she regularly chokes, gags, and terrifies us. We have set up her bouncy seat inside her Pack 'n Play beside my side of the bed. I keep what I call my "bag of tricks" in the bed part . . . which includes her sea horse, a thermometer, a fake candle (that I can shine in her face to check breathing in the middle of the night), our mini hairdryer (for late-night crankiness), and a pacifier.

Speaking of sleep . . . Ada is sleeping longer stretches lately. Last night, in fact, she went an entire 5-1/2 hours! We're enjoying it, but I can't help wondering if it's going to negatively impact my milk supply. Today I seem to be less full than usual.

I guess the last item of note deals with Ada's pediatrician. We're attempting to change pediatricians before our next appointment this month -- in the wake of the whole last appointment drama. But when Stephen called yesterday, it was super awkward. They first asked why we wanted to change and then quickly said that it's not a "normal practice" of theirs to switch.

The operator said something about needing to clear it with the office manager. And they never called us back! Stephen is going to call the office again today and try to make the switch. I think it's silly we were asked for a reason. Stephen made up something about me not feeling comfortable talking about breastfeeding with a male doctor (not true -- I'm totally open about pretty much everything) . . . but if the situation continues to be weird, we may just have to switch offices altogether.

Wish us luck!

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Ada: 5 Weeks

2011-12-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

I was planning to write that Ada has been awake far more hours this week. It was true for a five day stretch. And then in the last couple days, I feel like she's been sleeping more than ever.

For example, last night she fed around 9PM and was asleep by 9:30. She didn't wake again until 2:30, at which point I did the math and realized it'd been nearly 6 hours (SIX!) since she had eaten last. Usually I set an alarm as a rough guide to not necessarily let her go much longer than 4 hours (though I've read at this point that we can basically let her sleep -- she usually beats that alarm by a few minutes), but I must have forgotten to set it.

Strangely, she had also slept a long chunk in the afternoon. I've checked her temperature and she doesn't appear to be sick. So, I'm trying to relax about the whole thing. Changes in behavior from day to day -- just like with adults -- is probably normal. I'm just worried about my milk supply if she continues to space feedings like that.

Anyone know what's "normal" for number of feedings at 5 weeks?

Ada, seen above in her very first pair of jeggings, isn't on any sort of schedule yet. I have trouble knowing how to spend time with her when she's awake. My mom has a degree in childhood development, so I've asked her many times if there's anything specifically I should be doing to enhance her development. At one month, there isn't much, really. Just lots of snuggles and a little bit of tummy time and play.

I thought I'd share some highlights of our days for this post. In photos, of course.

Here's Ada's favorite toy. Just some plastic links with different colors and textures.

Whenever she opens her hand, I place one of the rings in her palm and try to get her to grasp it. There's a name for the reflex that babies have at this age, but I forget.

Anyway, at first, Ada would just grasp and then let go. But in the past couple days, she's been holding on to them for longer and longer periods of time. Pretty cool!

We usually have an hour or so throughout the day that I call "music appreciation" time. It involves me scouring YouTube for fun tracks. It's how I found her favorite Christmas song.

We only started last week. Artists we've covered include: The Beatles, Aerosmith, Bright Eyes, Arcade Fire, Fleetwood Mac, David Bowie, Elton John, Justin Beiber (hahah -- don't ask!), Radiohead, Joni Mitchell, John Lennon, Dave Brubeck, and multiple covers by Glee.

I tend to have TLC on in the background much of the day. I suppose Ada's getting quite a fashion education with all the What Not To Wear that airs each afternoon. And, yes. I, too, was appalled at how that professor dressed!

Ada despises tummy time. We try to get in at least 10 minutes every day. I know it should be more, but I read that on-chest time counts, too. She gets plenty of that. Her neck has been super strong since we brought her home from the hospital. And just this week she started holding her head up for longer periods of time and raising her chest sometimes as well!

We also soak in the Christmas tree for a while. Ada just loves staring at all those ornaments!

You may also notice in that last photo that we started cloth diapering this week. She's still a bit small for them (well, they fit -- but they just look ginormous), but overall -- the switch has been much less traumatic for the both of us than I thought it would be. Right now I'm finishing a load of dirty diapers. So far, so good. But the whole thing deserves its own post.

Here's something interesting: During the day, we're diapering Ada on the dining room table. Want to come over for dinner?

That's about it for daytime activities. Stephen shines at night when he gets home from work, so we'll do another post on that sometime soon, too. For now, I need to fully take advantage of this quiet time and finish the laundry.

Can you believe Christmas is this weekend? Having a baby sure screwed up my sense of time. I thought I had one more shopping weekend. This means Stephen's gifts were purchased on Amazon yesterday and will arrive on December 30th. Sigh . . .

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1 Month Birthday

2011-12-17T07:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Ada's 1 month birthday! I'll write a full update soon. We have lots of Christmas shopping to do.

In short:

The GERD medicine is working wonders.
I *think* she's starting to smile for real.
We've started using the cloth diapers.
Adventures with the bottle are going well.
She's starting to sleep for slightly longer periods at night.
We had our second successful long outing to the mall/etc. this week.
And Stephen and I had our first night out thanks to her grandparents.

Here's Ada's favorite Christmas song. She's often cranky after her morning nap. This song does the trick every time. And she scores extra points for those sweaters. What good taste our baby has!

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