Never Say Heaven

OUTDOORS

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 12:07:00 +0000

Instead of spending your days locked in the house to shoot the zombies on X-Box ruining your health, you can finally do it outdoors. Just watch out for bites, even those ruin your health.

SHELTERS #6

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 12:06:00 +0000

A ship is a good shelter. It will be difficult to replenish supplies, but the zombies while breathing underwater, walk on the bottom. If you want to take a bath, be sure to go far from the seashore.

VEHICLES

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 12:06:00 +0000

The recommended vehicle is the motorcycle: even a SUV can’t go far on roads strewn with rubble and carcasses of cars. In addition it consumes more.

SHELTERS #5

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 12:06:00 +0000

Another typical shelter is the prison: good protection, isolated from the outside world, offers thousands of accommodation. The only counter-indication, you're in jail.

SHELTERS #4

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 12:06:00 +0000

Islands, beaches and other places protected from the sea are a very bad choice: the zombies do not breathe and the water gives them a perfect system to approach without being seen.

SHELTERS #3

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 12:05:00 +0000

If you have a two-storey house, make sure you bolt all entrances to the ground and if possible destroy the stairs. Satellite antenna is on the roof, and with the streets burst by the undead you don’t need other things.

SIMILARITIES

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 15:28:00 +0000

Nobody knows today how the devil looks like, but if you approach a guy who looks like Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino or De Niro is a bad sign.

MISCELLANEOUS WEAPONS 3

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 12:05:00 +0000

What’s our first weapon against zombies? Intelligence. This doesn’t mean you have to challenge them to chess.

WINTER

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:45:00 +0000

Nuclear winter is only an expression, you can not make puppets of uranium.

VIRUSES

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 16:36:00 +0000

No, no, no. No matter what they do in Independence Day, you can not infect
the network of an advanced alien fleet with a computer virus of the 90's.

PROVISIONS

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 15:28:00 +0000

If you have lived a very dissolute life and you're already resigned to hell, bring a lid as the only provision. Given that the devil makes the pots but not the lids, the lid will be almost irreplaceable to barter.

SHELTERS #2

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 12:05:00 +0000

What’s the ideal place to defend yourselves from zombies? A stadium. Secured in sideways, can hold thousands of people, the playing field can be cultivated, and you have never seen the zombies facing the turnstiles!

PICK-UP #2

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 18:15:00 +0000

No stress: in a world where cities are pulverized to expanses of vitrified
ash, any restaurant you choose will be fine.

SOP

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 16:45:00 +0000

If you're in Detroit, cheer up, the landscape will not be much worse than
that to which you were accustomed to. And the green mist is also funny, or
not?

BAD TASTE

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 15:35:00 +0000

Do you have problems with a race of alien cannibals? Perhaps the right
solution is to eat only songino and drink only soy milk, as long as your
meat will taste like tofu.

VOTES

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 14:27:00 +0000

In any case, you should say that you would not have voted Barabbas.

BURST

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 11:05:00 +0000

Although it may seem like a good idea, to stop a group of zombies the burst of gunfire to head height is not always the best choice: they aren’t all the same height!

GLACIATION #2

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 17:15:00 +0000

Okay, there are twenty degrees below zero and mammoths are refusing to go
out into the garden, but at least no one will take more fun of you if you're
male and you like ice skating.

PLUG

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 17:08:00 +0000

The robots must have some source of energy. If you do not find the plug, try
to immerse yourself in an inventor of robots: where would you put to make it
retractable?

FOOD #2

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 16:44:00 +0000

The fish are no longer edible, even if they seem freshly caught, judging by
the color of their three eyes.

PIETA

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 15:35:00 +0000

Some alien races would just exterminate us because we are stupid. Show them
the opposite solving in mind Eisenberg inequalities under 13.

SEX

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 14:27:00 +0000

It is unknown whether the sex in paradise is made or not (all the evidence leads to support the hypothesis that is unlikely). The only recommendation: in any case, NO to condoms.

MISCELLANEOUS WEAPONS 2

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 11:04:00 +0000

Contrary to common opinion, the best weapon to split half a human skull is the battle-axe. In the absence of anything better, there are the fire-resistent one.

DRYER

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 17:14:00 +0000

Learn to be content: OK, your dryer has been destroyed by fiery-hot rain,
but the sun nine times hotter for the greenhouse effect, isn't enough?

MACHINATIONS

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 16:51:00 +0000

No, no, no. No machination behind the machines will make friends with them.
They do not have that kind of sense of humor.