ME, Myself and Only ME

Letting Go

2011-04-30T00:38:00.000+08:00

I thought I would never have the time to blog again. This time it took me to be at my saddest for me to write again. Siguro kasi I could only say what I feel through this medium. Hindi madali na mag-share ng nararamdaman. Mas lalong hindi madali na aminin kung nasasaktan na. Almost 2 months ago, my life was the same as usual. Work, family, God and old good friends I have. I could say I'm happy and contented. Little do I know, I would get myself involved sa isang sitwasyon na hindi ko pinilit, hindi pinlano, at hindi gustong makasakit. It has always been my principle to live my life right, may takot sa Diyos, walang sasagasaan na kahit sino, at magiging masaya ng walang masasaktan. Pero sabi nga, life is hard. Hindi madaling manatiling mabuting tao. Minsan hahantong sa sitwasyon na makakasakit, na masasaktan ka. I was brought up that way. Yung maging mabuting tao. I grew up filled by God's words. But life also is the best teacher. Sabi ng marami, lahat ng bagay my dahilan. Madalas ayaw ko paniwalaan yun. Merong mga bagay I feel like nangyayari due to mere coincidences, or dahil ginusto na rin nating mangyari. Siguro excuse lang yun kasi mahirap tanggapin ang totoo. The truth hurts. But the truth also sets us free. It's just a matter of accepting it. I dealt with that situation the best that I could be and the best that I could give. Pero parang kulang pa. Parang may mali pa rin. I started asking questions and looking for answers. Some dala ng pagiging impulsive. Just to end the problem. Pero hindi din pala ganun malulutas lahat. I thought madadaan sa magandang usapan. Pero ang taong nasasaktan, hindi madadaan lang sa magandang usapan. Baka naman pag nag-give up na ako, then things will somehow be fixed. Kasi may isa ng susuko. Pero lalong hindi malulutas ang kahit na anong problema sa pamamagitan ng pagtakas. It's a coward way of saying I don't have the courage to face life. Mas madali kasing sumuko kesa ang lumaban. Little by little umaayos na lahat. I still don't believe that time heals all wounds. I only believe that love can. and the willingness to open up your heart and mind. I tried to walked away many times. It didn't do me any good. so here I am, facing the truth. Masakit to give up a friend. Lalo na kung ngayon lang may lumaban para sayo. Maybe it's not how you were fought, it's why you were fought for kaya mahirap mag-give up. Things may not be crystal clear for now. It would even take a while. Baby steps. Sabi ko nga, hindi pala sorry ang hardest word. It's goodbye. I don't know kung magagawa ko completely yun. Kung hindi ko man kaya, God is bigger than me. I guess I'm just learning the art of letting go. To trust and believe on His will. For Him to show His love even when I never care. I just have to let go and I'll understand.

No Place Like Home

2009-01-30T17:30:00.000+08:00

Last Jan. 27, 2008 i went back home in the Philippines for my annual vacation. It was a long-awaited moment to be back home, be with the whole family and just to be home sweet home. 13 months of working abroad needed a month to recharge,reboost,relax and most of all to be stress-free! and boy! it was a month full of fun, laughter, joy and of course, very costly too! hehe. :p.

I was very much happy to see my niece Nicole Mij Anne aka "Kuloy". she has grown like a lady even if she was only 4 yrs old. Although there's still the baby talks sometimes but at least she stopped now drinking to her dede bottle hehe.

Of course i also missed my family, the comfort of being with them, the fact that they have always taken good care of me (especially my nanay)

It was the same time also that my Tito Jingh's family, who's now based in Canada, is also having their vacation in the Philippines the same time as mine. Too bad I don't have a camera that time to capture the Mauleon Clan reunion after almost 7 years of not having a reunion. It's sooo good to see a very brght and pretty cousin Twinkle (whom I'm so proud of!) and my other cousins I haven't seen for such a long time. Love you all!!!

And what a coincidence that it's also our High School's Batch 10th year anniversary. It was good seeing my good friends, barkadas, and teachers/advisers back in high school. A lot of reminiscing good ole memories, the naughty-ness of being high school kids, the pains and adventures, and what happened to the last ten years after going to our different paths and careers. All that I can say, it was a blast!!! Special thanks to our valedictorian Ms. Shirleen Sharma for sposoring and making the said reunion possible!

Taking that vacation maybe costly, but it's all worth it and priceless having the good laughs, good friends and a very much loving family.

Can't wait to go back home again. See you all soon guys!!!

So Now I'm Back

2008-10-26T13:41:00.000+08:00

oh my such a long time now im back at blogging. what did i miss? well let me see...been more than a year since my last article here and feels like it's been like thousand days and my life has gone through a lot! what i meant by that is that too many has happend and can't find the words to write here. everyday i meditate how i lived my life. was it good?have i hurt anybody?was i happy?or sad?or delirious? and every single day i thought i was just doing ok.when i left home and decided to work abroad i'm pretty confident i'm just gonna do fine.i can do it.i'm always ready to take risks.i have believed in the goodness inside me that i can live a good life abroad.even if i'm away from my family(take note i'm never been far from my folks for more than a week!).but believe me it was never easy.at first i was kind of excited.everything was "firsts" for me.first time to be on an airplane.first time to live alone(no mom to take good care of me,no annoying brother,no niece to play with),first time to really practice my profession,first time to have roommates and a whole lot more.first weeks were ok.it's still fun.but few months later it starts to get a little boring.6 months after i feel like i'm so fed up and so ready to go back home.but i never wanted to quit.not this time.so a little patience.then few more months it feels more like a candle very near to it's end.so what's really wrong?is a high saalry not enough to make me happy and stay here until the project's over?well i guess it's so right that's "not everything Money can buy".i have seen many 'not so righteous' decision people have chosen their lives to be here.many have chosen things i believe was not right.but hey i'm not here to judge or be righteous myself.but these are not the normal environment i have back home.so it was kind of hard seeing them like that.i think about their families wishing their loved one will be back home soon.(to think that most of us here are first-timers in abroad).but what will happen if their loved one also found other love here?so what happens now?how important is fidelity when you're alone and need to cope up from the fact that you're away from the people you love?it's hard i know.and maybe not all people can keep that fidelity.we're just humans.can make mistakes.the point is,we're just justifying that fact to correct the mistakes we're doing now.or maybe we have accepted so much that fact that it becomes so normal now.that is the sad part.but the harder and sadder part is when someone really close to you is the one making that kind of life too.and you can't do anything other than to understand.coz it's not your life their living.it's theirs.and you don't mind other's business.now i'm so ready to go back home.to the normal home.to be happy again.free from stress.and i just can't wait...

Hello Blog Again..

2007-03-08T09:36:00.000+08:00

Oh man it's been awhile....do I miss my blog?Well yeah...I feel like there's too many things I need to get out of my system....God and my blog are the only outlets in my life *sigh*. Months of not blogging I thought it was okay...but man! too many things happened. There's year 2006 which in overall was not that good to me. Why? I had a serious heartache which led to depression that led to my being acidic and made me not eat/drink those that I really like. That really sucks for someone who need to gain weight or else I will end up malnourish *my mom will not like that and also me*. Well so much for a heartache...moving on. Then say hello to year 2007...it started with a bang. A new job, new co-workers, and new type of job-fieldwork this time. At first I was kind of excited. Then there came my 1st day...then 1st week...then 1st month....then I realized I wasn't happy as I expect it to be. From being a joker with former officemates to being aloof and quiet engineer with the new ones. The thing is, I don't know what the prob is! All those new people seem to be really nice. But there's something in the surrounding that makes me someone who's not the real me. Plus add the boring hours when I was left with nothing to do. No projects yet. Just staring at my laptop for almost 10 hours, sneeking in browsing the internet or have a little chitchat in ym or msn. So far that's my life. Miss my old colleagues. MIss the tv shows I regularly watch. Miss the chismisan hehe. MIss the happy fun part of my life.
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In Love and In Depression

2006-08-06T13:05:00.000+08:00

Who can tell that a very idealist and a hopeless romantic person such as I am would turn out to be someone that would not want to fall in love again? I always thought that love always ends in happy ending, NO MATTER WHAT. Love conquers all. It would bear anything and will endure everything. But it seems that love is not on my side. And all ideals seems to flush on my mind. They say that love comes with pain. And you can never be a stronger person until you deal with all those pain. But that doesn't mean that after the pain is a whole heart again.. 'coz once it's broken, it will never be the same heart ever again. A strong heart needs a strong mind for it to survive. Not everything can be explained by our minds and yet there are things that only our hearts could understand. I would never want to see myself again drowned in loneliness because of a broken heart. everytime I see a friend's smile, a simple tap on my back, a family who innocently cares, those sweet and meaningful text messages from people who truly cares...those remind me of LOVE....to continue to believe in it...that in the perfect time, love itself will show its real meaning to me....

THE UNFORGETFUL GOD

2006-05-15T10:54:00.000+08:00

Today is mother's day. It's not too special but at least we celebrated it by going to church and eating out after the church service. But what's special this day is the preaching we had in church. "The Unforgetful God". In Psalm, there is this verse that even mothers can forget about their children but not God. It was so touching 'coz there are times we feel that people forget us. They ignore us. Even our loved ones and friends sometimes don't appreciate us. And we feel sad and alone. I myself doesn't like the feeling of rejection, maybe 'coz I had a lot of those in the past, and it sucks! But knowing that even all the people we love may forget us, there is one loving and so much faithful God that we can always turn to. To know that He even list the times we cried and how much tears fell in our eyes was absolutely overwhelming. Others won't seem to care about that. But not to Him. 'Coz he values everything we do here on earth. He is always moved by all the pain we have. Because He is our Father and we are His children. It feels so good to know that someone loves you. And someone will fight for you and never leave you. It feels so good to know that Jesus always cares. Despite of all our shortcomings, of all our sins, of all our unfaithfulness and of all unworthiness that we have.

It's Done and Over

2006-02-05T15:02:00.000+08:00

Ok.The week has passed and guess what? God has already shown me the signs I needed. It wasn't meant to be in the first place. Oh well I have expected that somehow. But I still let myself fall. Well at least after a long long time, I felt those butterflies again. It's cute. Just like that, back to reality. Though that wouldn't stop me from hoping that someday In His perfect time, maybe I'll find Him. The right one for me. Or maybe he'll find me. Or both...hehehehe....i'll miss those butterflies, hope they'll come back! ^_^

What Is This I'm Feeling ^_^

2006-01-31T11:07:00.000+08:00

What is this I'm feelin'
I just can't explain
When you're near,
I'm just not the same
Try to hide
Try not to show it
It's crazy
How could this be

OMG!!!!! My heart starts to pound again! Do you know what it means??? Not this time. No! It couldn't be! Why??!! Geez...what am I gonna do? I hate this feeling! Butterflies in the stomach.Heart pounding so fast when he's near.Paranoia of what he might think about me. O Lord help me. Take this away. What duh! What am I? A teenager in love?Oh no! No...no...no!In the first place, he's someone not my type. He's too tall, and big like a bodyguard to me....but he's so nice,gentleman,corny and I like him. Bingo!

Signs!

2006-01-30T19:46:00.000+08:00

I'm asking God for a sign. Within this week we'll see.O my! So excited...

Wala Lang....

2006-01-15T11:22:00.000+08:00

Tagal ko na pala hindi nagba-blg...well maybe coz I don't have any to say or write I guess...these last few months, nothing really big or special that happened. Well I got a new job now as a Geospatial Analyst (astig yung job title!) at FF Cruz & Co., I get along with my supervisors and officemates...new found friends like Jeff and Mark....that just it. Last Christmas well at least it's better compared to last year's Christmas...coz I didn't cry or feel sad that day...I like New Year's day better coz my family' s complete, we went out and just went well. I hope and pray that 2006 will be much happier, more bountiful in blessings and more excitements in life. ^_^

Poem

2005-11-25T10:55:00.001+08:00

I once believed
Someday I’ll see
A perfect love
That was meant for me
But I was a fool
To believe on such thing
Coz I hardly get to see
Two people’s love
Fought and be free

I lost my heart
Every time I give it away
To someone I thought
Would be the one back then
I don’t want to fall
I don’t want to cry
There might be no one
To catch me again

Love is crazy love is blind
But I was the one I think that is blind
My heart cries out inside of me
Longing for someone to set it free

But there is someone
I never knew
A friend who needed a friend
That will make him stand through
He taught me to be strong
So I can be a wall he can lean on

And now I know
Love is not just showing affection
Not needing for someone
Not searching for a perfect one
But giving what you have
And what you’ve got
Then let His will make your love alive.

Board Exam

2005-10-05T02:05:00.000+08:00

Finally it's over! After 3 gruelling months of hardwork and no social life, thank God it's over. Now I can finally move on and face the reality of life, that is to get a job in this deteriorating country of ours. The feeling of passing it is so overwhelming. I give a sense of pride for my family and friends, wel of course including me. All the sleepless nights paid off. And now, life is back to normal. One thing I've learned, God is so good and His faithfulness doesn't change; even having all the shortcomings and our unfaithfulness to Him. If it's not because of Him, I'll never get this success in my life. Thank you Lord! ^_^

What a Birthday!

2005-08-05T07:46:00.000+08:00

An hour before my birthday, I had this sadness in my heart that I don’t understand. I’m supposed to be happy because it will be my special day, to celebrate another year of my life. But it’s odd ‘coz I’m feeling sad. I don’t know if it’s because of the telenovela that I was watching that night (well that’s one guilty pleasure I’ll admit *hehe*). The girl was saying her final goodbye to the guy, main reason because she feels like she’s just a burden for him. He’s hurting that he cannot have the love of his life. So she decided to let go of him. She told him she needs to ride the train or else she’ll miss the last trip. Though it hurts for him to say goodbye the guy let go of her hand. But while inside the train, she couldn’t understand why she was crying. She’s also in deep pain. And after that program, I couldn’t understand either why I was crying when I got into my room. I tried to suppress my how I feel but it’s so strong I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was feeling the pain that the two main characters felt when they parted away. It’s really weird. I cannot imagine being affected so much by what I’m watching. Then I remember all the pain I felt before. It’s true that it’s hard to let go of someone you love. And it’s harder to forget when you know he still exists. Why does love hurts? Why is it hard to let go? Why can’t you have the person you love when you know that he’s just right there? Then I knelt on my knees and started to talk to God. I told him all the pain that’s inside of my heart. Asking Him to take it away and let me be happy especially on my birthday; that I will find the true happiness in my life, whether or not I’ll have a person to love. Then, I’m already saying to Him that I put my trust and my life for Him and to His glory, in singleness or not. I guess my birthday is still a special day because He made me realized that I have to put my trust to Him and only to Him. That God is faithful and He knows the desires of my heart.

Resign!

2005-06-11T06:11:00.000+08:00

Last week I resigned from my work. It's kinda hard at first 'coz I know I'm gonna miss a lot of people and even the work that I've been doing for the last 4 months. But I made that decision, first to do what my parents want me to do - which is to take the board exam. Ok, don't get me wrong. I do understand their point of wanting me to get my license as an engineer. Anyway that's what I studied for long 5 years and yes I don't want to waste it. Plus the fact that it will be may fall back if in the future I wanted to take a new career. It's always like a guarantee for me. But then, somehow I know that I don't want to stop working for the mean time and just enjoy my job. Though the last week before I resign, I would admit that I'm getting burnt out and frustrated. I just don't like the feeling of all people eyeing on you 'coz it seems you're not good enough. But deep inside I know that they're just trying to help. Anyway, I'm gonna miss all of my team mates - Tyler and of course my former team mates - Palm Springs.. you guys are the best! Thanks for the company, for all the issues and for all the times we've been together. I had a lot of fun being with you guys. Plus the fact that I've learned a lot of things. But for sure I'll still see some of you guys some day again. I am also thankful for other people who had helped me during my period of stay in Parlance. Of course to all my trainers namely my Amspeak AngTv trainer Mondo, now Buddy Coach Josel, Flare, Glen and JJ - they're the best trainers ever! Also with all the coaches who handled me and helped me become the best agent - Coach Jebeth, where's my treat and prize?You're one of the best coaches I've had. Thanks for all the sermons who made me challenged myself to do good. If not because of you, I would never see myself succeed. Coach Nathan - thanks to you I lost my momentum in doing good for transferring me to Tyler (no offense guys). Well not to be bitter anymore, thank you too coz I've learned to be independent and to be stronger and of course to the nicest and very soft-spoken coach, Coach David, thank you for all the understanding and support to the times we really needed someone to be on our side. Well I learned a lot and even though I left my work and Parlance, I know that there's something left inside of me and whatever career I'm going to have in the future, I'll continue to do good and be the best coz that is what you taught me the most! Good luck and God bless to me! ^_^

C'est La Vie

2005-04-25T08:43:00.000+08:00

These past few days I have really been exhausted in my work. I work for 10 hours and I'm not getting enough sleep. Worst, my eyebag grows bigger that really makes me conscious most of the times. Because it's not a good reason to to not look good 'coz I work late at night. I have to find something that could remove eyebag, or at least lessen it or prevent it from growing bigger. Sometimes I really have to be a little vain to care for myself. Well not only that my eyebag grows bigger, what's more exhausting for me is that I don't get to have good sales lately. The past two days, I don't have a sale. Not even 1. That' sucks!!! After 10 calling hours, and you don't get a sale, that is so frustrating. Two weeks ago, I got to be the topseller in upsell and now I can't even close a sale in acquisition. Too bad! Well that's life. Sometimes you get to be on top, and sometimes you can be far below than others. But my frustration should not hinder me from achieving more things. I know I should take it as a challenge and strive harder so I will get to do good again. Well I hope I get to have a better week next week in my work. More sales and more accomplishments to come. Nothing new really happened to me lately. I guess I need to get a life. Real life! But I'm still thankful to God for continuing to shower me with His goodness and grace, not only to me but also to my whole family. God is good! ^_^

The Phantom of the Opera

2005-03-01T01:19:00.000+08:00

These past few weeks I have been really busy with work that I didn't have time to go out with my friends, or even with myself. Yesterday, after church I decided to take some time out for myself, just to unwind and relax. I went to Robinson Ermita, and while I was eating my merienda, I thought of watching a movie. Last week I saw a commercial of the movie The Phantom of the Opera and told myself that I'm going to watch that movie, but since I don't have much time to go out, I thought that yesterday was the right time to watch that movie. It's weird to watch a movie alone, though I have tried it so many times, but since I just wanted to relax and unwind yesterday, I did watch the movie by myself. I love watching musicals that’s why I knew that I’m going to enjoy this movie. The first part of the movie, there’s really nothing much to be excited about but in the middle and towards the end, it gets more exciting, more suspense and you would not want to miss any of the scenes. I love how the dialogues are delivered, how the actors sing it with the right feelings or emotions because I think it is hard to deliver a dialogue when your not suppose to say it, instead you have to sing it. I enjoyed the conflict between the three main characters, Christine, the chorus girl, Raoul, the patron that fell in love with Christine and of course, the Phantom of the Opera who also fell in love with Christine. Compared to other musical or novels, what’s good about this movie is that you don’t really have to think hard to understand the story; the music itself will make you go in the flow, there’s not too many characters to remember, it doesn’t need a tragedy to make the story interesting and most of all, you don’t have to expect a happy ending nor a tragic ending for you to appreciate the movie. Overall, the actors, the story, the set, the effects made this movie a good movie to watch. I would love to watch this movie over and over again. Of course there’s 1 song that I really loved the most in this movie:

All I Ask Of You

from The Phantom of the Opera Written by: Andrew Lloyd Webber and Charles Hart~ Michael Crawford (Phantom), Sarah Brightman (Christine), Steve Barton (Raoul)

Raoul:

No more talk of darkness,

Forget these wide-eyed fears.

I'm here, nothing can harm you - my words

will warm and calm you.

Let me be your freedom,

let daylight dry your tears.

I'm here with you, beside you,

to guard you and to guide you...

Christine:

Say you love me

every waking moment,

turn my head with talk of summertime...

Say you need me with you now and always...

Promise me that all you say is true -

that's all I ask of you...

Raoul:

Let me be your shelter,

let me be your light.

You're safe:

No-one will find you -

your fears are far behind you...

Christine:

All I want is freedom,

a world with no more night...

and you, always beside me,

to hold me and to hide me...

Raoul:

Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...

let me lead you from your solitude....

Say you need me with you here,

beside you...

anywhere you go, let me go too -

Christine, that's all I ask of you...

Christine:

Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...

say the word and I will follow you...

Raoul & Christine:

Share each day with me, each night, each morning...

Christine:Say you love me...

Raoul:You know I do...

Raul & Christine:

Love me - that's all I ask of you...

Anywhere you go let me go too...

Love me - that's all I ask of you...

Phantom:

I gave you my music...

made your song take wing...

and now how you've repaid me:

denied me and betrayed me...

He was bound to love you

when he heard you sing...

Christine...Christine...

Raoul & Christine:

Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...

say the word and I will follow you...

Share each day with me, each night, each morning...

Phantom:

You will curse the day you did not do all that the Phantom asked of you...!

Frustrated Agent

2005-02-20T06:11:00.000+08:00

After a week of product training, we started the travel pod. It's where we take calls for the entire shift, but good thing we have our buddy coach, our trainers, and other coaches to help and guide us to be the best CSRs. The 1 week product training should help us be familiar with all our client's products and we are expected to give the best customer service. At first I didn't know that they have that high standards in terms of customer service. I guess American culture is really different to Filipino culture. No offense to my American friends, but geez you Americans are really spoiled, very straight forward and sometimes has a different way of communicating to others especially if its about you being customers. Of course, who doesn't want to have good customer service right? Even us, Filipinos want to be treated right as customers. But now, I'm trying to understand American culture and I hope in the coming days I could truly be good in what I'm doing on my job right now.

It's just so frustrating this whole week because I really wanted to do good at my job but because of too much frustrations, the more I push myself really hard just to do good, to meet my coach/es and trainers expectations. But it sucks 'coz things are not doing well for me, I have low QA scores and to deal with my frustrations makes me feel really bad about myself. There came a point that I really want to quit with my job but I know if I do that, that will make me a big LOSER. And I don't want that, And mostly, I'm not a QUITTER. But even though things are not that good for me, I still trust God that He has given me so much blessings and I just have to be grateful for that, especially for the job He has given me. I know having these frustrations is not just to burden me. I know that there are times, the devil want to destroy the happiness and blessings I'm having but I know the power of God. I know my God is big that I don't have to be afraid. He'll be my strength and I know that He will pick me up whenever I fall and He created me to become victorious. I'm praying that my next week of travel pod will be good, that I can pull up my scores and that I can be really good at my job.

Mr. Personality

2005-02-08T02:50:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday was the finale of the reality show Mr. Personality. It's about a girl finding love where she met 20 guys that are masked. The 20 guy contestants will then be deduced to 10, where the 10 guys will wear 10 different colors of masks. Like any other dating reality shows, she will be given enough time to know these men, every week there will be one or two guys that will be eliminated and fortunately the girl has to choose 1 guy at the end. It was entitled Mr. Personality because the show wants to prove that it is possible that a person can fall in love with someone just by knowing his personality and even if you don't see how that person looks like. Most of us fall for a person because of physical attraction. Some says it can only be called "true love" if you can love a person beyond hs outside beauty. Mr. Personality show different men with different personalities. Some were good looking and some were not really good looking(based on my standards "laugh"). But it doesn't matter because their faces were not supposed to be shown, until the moment they are eliminated. At the end, Hailey, the girl finding love, chose Will, a 28-yr old millionare, who fell in love with Hailey during the duration of the program. Hailey accepted Will's proposal, even though she has no idea how he looks like, but still, she fell for him. When Will showed his face, after being chosen by Hailey, she then was so amazed and couldn't stop staring at Will's face. Therefore, for me, it's magical when you fall in love with somone, but it's more magical when you love that someone beyond his physical beauty. And that is real love!

OSS-11

2005-02-07T02:32:00.000+08:00

I have been really busy since I started work last two weeks ago. I'm trying to adjust to my new work environment and people there are really cool. My team mates are all nice and fun-to-be-with people. I'm also adjusting to my graveyard shift. At first it was hard but I'm getting used to it now. Thank God 'coz I'm not getting sick and I'm improving in my job at least. In two weeks I have learned a lot. From AM speaking, playing Taboo, learning so much from my team mates 'coz they all have different personalities. Toni is a gay, a very photogenic gay who has a lot of experiences that I cannot imagine, Allan, who at first I thought was a real guy but found out that he's a bisexual and had sex a lot of times with a guy. Woooh!!!! And there's Mommy Binky, a pretty mom with a pretty daughter who has a lot of experiences in terms of relationships 'coz she made a lot of guys cry hehe. Marcus, on the other hand, a guy who was fooled by her aunt, has gone to Macau, picked up a Russian prostitute and has tried all kinds of jobs just to survive in a foreign country. And Hazel, a self-confessed bisexual but I doubt ‘coz the moment she met our drop-dead gorgeous coach, Mondo Castro, who was a former Ang TV star and is now our AM speaking coach, she has turned to have a big crush on him, haha. And Hazel’s big competition to Mondo’s heart is Alexis, who also have a big likeness to our handsome coach, but too bad, he’s already married and has a 5-year old daughter. And a lot more team mates with very cool stories! Our two-week Am speak training is over, thank God again because we all passed and a new training will start by tomorrow. Hope it will be better and happier.

Job Interview

2004-12-13T13:05:00.000+08:00

After knowing that the next GE board exam was postponed and realizing that I have so many months before that, I wonder what I would do until I get to review again and take the exam. Then I planned to find a job and I need to have a job ASAP or else I will be a bum for so many months, which I don't want to happen. Then I started browsing for jobs in jobstreet.com trying to find a job or opportunity that I can try. But all I found is not related to my course or to some skills that I have. But still, I applied to 2 or 3 jobs I found that I suit for their requirements,hoping and praying that I will get the job so i don't have to worry for the next coming months of my life. Then one afternoon I got a text message from the company I was applying for and asked me to take their exam. I took the exam and passed. The next day I was scheduled for my interview and I was so nervous because it will be my first formal interview if ever. I woke up very early preparing for that interview because I don't want something bad to happen on that very important thing for me. And boooomed! I got stucked to traffic and I had to change route which took me longer to get to my interview and finally I got there....LATE! 30 minutes late to be exact. I was so ashamed when I faced my interviewer and I apologized for being not so punctual! Can you believe that? My first interview and I was late. Wow now they had a good impression on me huh?! That's not all, after that interview, I was asked for another interview set on that afternoon, it was the FINAL interview. I have to wait for 3 hours for that final interview. The wait is overcoming me, I can't eat my lunch, I was so cold because their aircon is too high and too nervous to go on another interview. Then the moment has come. I entered the room and gosh!, the interviewer was so cute you couldn't help yourself but to stare at him! It was really embarrassing but the good thing about it is that I enjoyed talking to him and the nerves in me has gone. And the bad news, he's already taken! Geez. Now I'm still waiting on their call if I got the job or not. I hope I'll have it. ^_^

"Comfort Room"

2004-12-07T15:05:00.000+08:00

Before I used to wonder what it's like to be lock in a comfort room or to any room for that matter. But I was locked a week ago with a friend of mine in the ladies room in the review center we're attending. It was funny coz after fixing our hair and retouching our faces, the moment we opened the door knob, "OMG it's locked!" I thought our other friends outside were just making a joke on us but I figured out that they didn't even know we were locked inside the CR. But instead of being scared, we were even laughing..laughing out loud and making fool of ourselves..then we started shouting for help wishing that somebody can hear us and give us some help. Good thing somebody heard us. They broke the knob but it still can't be opened so they have to kick the door and finally we're out! shhoooshhh!!! Another good thing is that the CR has exhaust fan and a little open space so we can breathe. And once we were out, we were still laughing and explaining to all of them of why we were locked inside. The funniest thing about that experienced, when we were still inside the CR, I joked on my friend and told her that "siguro may balat ka sa puwet noh?". Then she replied innocently, "Pano mo nalaman?". Hahahahahaha....kaya naman pala e...getch? ^_^

Pangit ka….

2004-11-28T10:33:00.000+08:00

Ano ba ang basehan ng kagandahan ng tao? They say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” daw. But why does it seem that something ‘subjective’ becomes stereo-typical and standard? Kaya nga subjective di ba? Depende sa tumitingin. But I don’t believe that anymore. Ngayon kasi, isa na lang ang definition ng maganda. Let’s be particular with physical beauty. Ang isang taong puno ng tagyawat, maganda ba? Most will probably say hindi! Pag marami kang galis at peklat, maganda ka ba? Siguro hindi rin. According to a tv program (Jessica Soho Report), maganda ang isang tao kapag pantay-pantay ang sukat ng tatlong bahagi ng mukha (which I won’t discuss here anymore). Pag mas malaki ang part ng noo mo, hindi ka na kabilang sa sinasabing ‘maganda’. Pero depende nga sa tumitingin di ba? May ilan nagagandahan sa isang girl kahit malaki ang labi, o singkit, o pango ang ilong.

What do I want to prove here ba? Well minsan kasi nakakainis yung mga taong masyadong mapanlait sa kapwa nila. Dahil ba may God-given beauty sila kaya may karapatan na silang manlait ng kapwa nila na hindi naman kagandahan? Dahil ba perfect ang shape ng mukha nila kaya ok lang na pagtawanan yung hindi maganda para sa kanila? For me, nobody has the right to laugh at someone else just because they didn’t pass man’s standard beauty. NO ONE has the right to judge someone else’s face because it looks like it was hit by a ball, or dahil kamukha siya ni “Mahal”. NO ONE has the right to laugh at your back and people talks about you because sobrang haba ng baba mo. God created us and God is the ONLY one who has the right to judge us. God alone! Buti na lang hindi judgmental ang Diyos and thank God because He sees the heart not the looks of a person. And for those who makes fool of other people because of how they look, well I believe in karma and I believe in a just God.

Sorry sa mga tatamaan and sorry for sounding like a preacher here. I’m not perfect and I’m not definitely a saint. I just feel bad that there are these people who look down on others. I just don’t think it’s fair. Totally not fair.

Happiness is.....

2004-11-18T15:09:00.000+08:00

They say that happiness is a matter of choice. Would you choose to be happy pero may nasasaktan o would you rather not have that happines and wala ka namang nasasagasaan? At first akala ko madali lang ang sagot don, but when you're actually on that situation sobrang hirap pala. Hindi mo alam kung pipiliin mo yung self-happiness mo, and not consider someone else's feelings or just sacrifice thinking you did the right thing. Life is short, we know that, kaya as much as possible, dapat nating sabihin yung feelings natin, especially to those that we love. Para no regrets. But how can we actually be happy na may iba namang umiiyak kasi sila yung nagkaroon ng broken heart? Can we be totally and 100% happy? Di ba hindi?, unless we're so insensitive and selfish siguro pwede. Therefore kahit na happiness is a matter of choice, mahirap pa ring pumili. It's more a matter of morality, integrity, friendship and self-sacrifice. Life is.....life hehe

New Movies in 2005

2004-11-12T15:04:00.000+08:00

A friend sent me an email telling that these are the "new movies in 2005'. I almost believed her..haha...check this out! (especially the titles) ^_^

2004-11-12T14:48:00.000+08:00

Seed of Shrek

*ME, Myself and Only ME*

Letting Go

No Place Like Home

So Now I'm Back

Hello Blog Again..

In Love and In Depression

THE UNFORGETFUL GOD

It's Done and Over

What Is This I'm Feeling ^_^

Signs!

Wala Lang....

Poem

Board Exam

What a Birthday!

Resign!

C'est La Vie

The Phantom of the Opera

Frustrated Agent

Mr. Personality

OSS-11

Job Interview

"Comfort Room"

Pangit ka….

Happiness is.....

New Movies in 2005

ME, Myself and Only ME