Hi!

I know it’s been awhile.

But you know how you get busy and things like cleaning out the garage, scrubbing the tile with a tooth-brush and shredding all your old documents from 20 years ago sort of get put on the back burner? Well, life has intruded and my poor little blog has been piling up with dust like junk in the garage, soap scum in the cracks and old bank statements.

Like all of those things (and many more we choose to ignore) you know they’re there, but they just don’t have their place at the top of the priority list.

Plus there is the fact that I’ve just had not words.

Seriously, I never really understood writers block until these past couple of months. The words were a jumbled mess inside my head. No cohesion, no sense and no WAY they were going to come out even with a crowbar.

I would put fingers to keyboard and the flow that came out was even confusing to me. I’d go back through to read and it was like someone else had written the mess. (Is it possible for your brain to turn into strawberry Jello?) Even short emails were incoherent and repetitive.

Not only has my writing been blocked, so has my verbal communication. It’s almost like I’ve been inside a bubble screaming my head off but everyone else just hears wah wah wah wah wahwahwahwah! Now I know how the adults felt in all those Charlie Brown cartoons.

It’s very frustrating when you know what you’re saying but everyone else looks at you with their heads cocked to the side like my dog when she’s trying to understand me. Or better yet, like I’ve grown an additional head and we’re both vying for attention.

Then there was my listening ability. People would talk and by the time they got to the end of their sentence, I would have already forgotten the first part of it. Seriously scary stuff here! And then the aforementioned looks and head cocks would be coming from me!

I need to have my own personal Pentecost.

You see I have a speaking engagement at a Christian women’s event this weekend. Thankfully what I’m saying has been written down and thoroughly vetted…by a good friend who has had experience in these sorts of things.

Plus I know these are God’s words…all I have to do is read them out loud and He will do the rest. I don’t have to worry because HE has this.

I am praying that He uses me in a mighty way. That He totally takes me out of the equation so that what these women see and hear will be Him…and not me. Because I’m afraid if it’s just me, the wah wah wah will continue.

My friend says it is good…and I am fully relying on her judgment.

Is that a mighty wind stirring and Holy Spirit flames licking? I’m going on faith that it is!

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Dear Woman in the Silver Kia Soul,

I really messed up today.

You see, I had been given a double dose of grace yesterday and then I did not pass any of that on today.

And I feel horrible.

So horrible in fact that I almost became a stalker this morning and followed you to your destination. Forget the fact that I would have been late to work…it was that important to me that I get a chance to apologize.

Yesterday I thought I had made a HUGE mistake in my job. I missed a deadline and was going to have to tell my boss that what he trusted me to handle I had let fall through the cracks. I was going to have to fall on my sword and ask for forgiveness.

It was one of those moments when the bottom drops out of your stomach and you just want to puke…literally.

But God, as always, had my back and the door that I thought was closed He opened. I was spared having to explain why a task wasn’t going to be completed.

Today, you made a mistake and cut me off in traffic.

You were extremely apologetic and even took the time to roll down your window and apologize to my face.

And what did I do?

Well, I acted like a total jerk. I yelled that you needed to be more careful in this kind of traffic. And I told you that your crazy weaving in and out down the entire road was going to get someone hurt.

Then you looked at me with a sort of sad pity in your eyes and apologized again.

After I rolled up my window I realized what a HUGE mistake I made…again. And I got that sinking pit feeling in my stomach…again.

You see, God quickly reminded me of the grace He had bestowed on me not even 24 hours before. I had a chance to share His grace with you and I totally blew it.

I am so sorry.

I cannot change my actions from this morning, but I pray that I will see you again in traffic and get a chance to apologize to you in person. And I pray that you will forgive me even though I did not offer that to you.

Until then maybe God, in His infinite ways, can make sure you see this so you’ll know how much I regret how I acted.

With sincerest apologies,

The Woman in the Purple Honda Fit

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Transparency…it is something that I remember as a child that my teachers would use to teach. They would draw words and pictures to further my education.

A clear plastic sheet on top of a lamp…broadcast on the wall for all to see in the classroom.

Transparency is what I attempt to bring to the pages of these posts. Laying my thoughts bare and broadcast for the world to see and critique at will.

Transparency is what Jesus asks of me in believing and following Him. Transparency that proclaims He is my savior and the strength to show others what life in Him is about.

Being bare in front of a group of people who can reject me and my Savior is one of the most daunting things I have ever done in my life.

But it is also one of the most rewarding.

Five Minute Friday!

I love Fridays! Thanks to Lisa Jo at the Gypsy Mama it’s the time when I can just leave my mind to wander and my fingers to roam…trusting the Writer to steer me at will. Journaling whatever flits across my brain for five minutes straight. No backtracking, no spell checking, no stopping until that beepity beep! Want to join in the fun? Click on the button below. Today’s word is BARE.

Blessings!

How have you been most transparent? Is there anything else on your heart today? Join in the conversation below to share in the blessings!

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If you’ve been reading my blog you’ll know I’m blogging through Kyle Idleman’s book “Not a Fan.”  (You can catch up here.)

Kyle has taken us through several different scenarios depicting the difference between a fan and a follower of Jesus. Have they made you stop and think?

I know some certainly came uncomfortably close to hitting a nerve with me. So close that I would sometimes have to put the book down because it gave me a vague sense of unease. Was I like the fan? Or was I more like the follower?

Basically it boils down to this:  a follower wants a relationship with Jesus on His terms…a fan wants a relationship with Jesus on their terms.

So what are His terms?

First you have to believe!

That’s kind of a no brainer! John 3:16 pretty much has that covered: For God so loved the world He gave is only Son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.

Fans and followers alike believe in Jesus. But a fan will stop there. “I believe and that’s good enough…right?”

Followers take it one step further.

Luke 9:23 is the one step further:  If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

Kyle is so right when he says that John 3:16 and Luke 9:23 must go together. There is no believing without following. And that is the difference between fans and followers. Followers understand those verses go together. Fans don’t.

Anyone means you.

Notice Jesus doesn’t say only people who were born a Jew. He doesn’t narrow it down to babies only born at 2:36 AM (I fall into that category). He doesn’t even narrow it down to people alive during his time on earth. No He said ANYONE…and that means EVERYONE.

If Jesus can take a man who had turned his back on his people to collect taxes for the Romans, He can take you. If Jesus can take me and my sinful past, He can take you. If Jesus can take a thief who is hanging on the cross next to Him, He can take you.

It doesn’t matter what your past is…it doesn’t matter how many things you’ve done wrong.

ANYONE means ANYONE…no matter what.

So what was your “anyone” moment? When did you turn from being a fan to a follower? If you’re not a follower what’s holding you back? Is there anything else on your heart today? Join the conversation below so we can all share in the blessing.

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If you’ve been reading my blog you’ll know I’m blogging through Kyle Idleman’s book “Not a Fan.”  (You can catch up here.) Today I’m discussing the fifth question in diagnosing fandom: are you a self-empowered fan or a spirit-filled follower?

Kyle began his book with a question, “Are you a follower of Jesus?” As we’ve walked through the first chapters we’ve seen some of the examples that separate a follower from a fan.

But now it’s time to ask the hard questions. It’s time to take those examples and test them against our own lives.

This past weekend as I was carpooling with a couple of my good friends to a meeting in a different town our driver several times asked me to check the GPS on her phone to make sure we were going in the right direction.

You see, she and her husband had taken a trip to South Carolina and were going to see some friends while they were up there. They plugged in the address of the hotel where they were all going to meet and set off. The GPS was clearly giving directions and they followed them without even questioning. You can imagine their surprise when they were on a dirt road surrounded by trees and the GPS said they had arrived at their destination.

When they entered the address it didn’t take…only the state. And the GPS did what is does best and took them to the state…smack dab in the middle of the state that is. And the middle of South Carolina looked like the middle of nowhere.

Thankfully their end destination was only about 15 minutes away, but what would if it had been hours away?

What would happen if all this time you thought you were following Jesus and in the end found out you were only a fan?

As Kyle so eloquently puts it:

“Though I believe in the assurance of our salvation, I also believe that we are to work out our salvation with fear and trembling (Phil. 2:12). When it comes to where we will spend eternity we can’t be afraid to ask the hard questions and take an honest look at the answers that our lives offer. Is it possible that when asked, “Are you a follower of Jesus?” you quickly responded, “Yes,” but one day you will be exposed as nothing more than a fan?”

In Matthew 7 Jesus discusses the roads we can take and where they lead:

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matthew 7:13-14

I want to find the narrow gate!!!

And I want you to find it with me!

I think this is a great place and time to check our GPS with the questions Kyle has posed:

• Does your life reflect what you say you believe? With belief in Jesus we are saved but we need to do more than just confess it with our mouths. We need to confess it with our lives as well.

• Do you think you’re on the right road because of what you’ve done? Actions alone are just as dangerous as words alone. These two questions matter but only as they lead to the answer for the third question.

• Do I know Jesus and does He know me? We want to make our Christian walk about the things we say and do. They are tangible and can be measured. They are what should follow naturally if we have an intimate relationship with Jesus.

Yes He knows us…He knows all of us. And yes, nothing can separate us from His love (Rom. 8:38-39). We are saved by the grace of God through faith in Jesus (Eph. 2:8).

But He wants an intimate relationship with us. He doesn’t want us to be the lukewarm fans described in Revelation 3. He wants our “all”. He wants us to get carried away and He wants us completely committed.

Where and when have you missed the narrow gate? Have you found yourself in the middle of nowhere? Is there anything else on your heart today? Join the conversation below so we can all share in the blessings! 

Blessings!

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When I was a young girl I was afraid of the monster in the closet that turned out to be a mouse eating my seed picture.

I was afraid of the bad dream that I had in fourth grade that aliens were kidnapping my friends from school.

I was afraid when a loud crack of thunder would leave our apartment vibrating and me running screaming down the hall to the safety of my mom’s arms.

As I’ve grown those childish fears have disappeared and been replaced by much more adult and scary fears.

I was afraid during the birth of my second child because of the heart-break I experienced during the birth of my first child.

I’ve been afraid that the world would mistreat the children that I love with all my heart.

But while I still have fears, I’ve learned to not let them paralyze me like the monsters, bad dreams and thunder did when I was a child.

I have learned that with my God no matter the situation or fear…He’s got my back. So what do I have to fear?

Five Minute Friday!

I love Fridays! Thanks to Lisa Jo at the Gypsy Mama it’s the time when I can just leave my mind to wander and my fingers to roam…trusting the Writer to steer me at will. Journaling whatever flits across my brain for five minutes straight. No backtracking, no spell checking, no stopping until that beepity beep! Want to join in the fun? Click on the button below. Today’s word is AFRAID.

Blessings!

So what fears do you need to give up to the Lord? Is there anything else on your heart today? Join in the conversation below to share in the blessings!

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How would you finish the following sentence?

By the power of the Holy Spirit….

I have so many ways I could finish it, but I want to hear from you.

By the power of the Holy Spirit….

So jot down your answer in the comments below and let me know!

By the power of the Holy Spirit….

Blessings!

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If you’ve been reading my blog you’ll know I’m blogging through Kyle Idleman’s book “Not a Fan.”  (You can catch up here.) Today I’m discussing the fifth question in diagnosing fandom: are you a self-empowered fan or a spirit-filled follower?

You’re a dog and you’re chasing a car. And guess what? Today is your day because miracles of miracles you actually catch a car! But now that you’ve caught it…you’re not quite sure what to do with it.

And that is what some people experience when they approach the Holy Spirit. But here’s the catch, you cannot be a true follower of Jesus without letting the Holy Spirit fill your life and listening to His prompting.

As Kyle so aptly puts it:

“Fans trying to follow without being filled with the power of the Holy Spirit become overwhelmed by life’s circumstances. They seem to be following Christ, but then something in life goes wrong and they don’t have the power to overcome it. Instead of following Christ and sticking close to him in the storm they become discouraged and keep their distance. Followers have discovered that it doesn’t work without the power of the Spirit.”

When you accept Christ into your life you are also accepting to receive the Holy Spirit. It is God’s promise to you when you put your faith in Him. So, are you listening to the Holy Spirit? Although a fan might receive this gift, they will not use it. They will rely on their own steam rather than letting the Holy Spirit guide them.

Paul points this out to the church in Galatia:

Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? Galatians 3:3

Foolish indeed!

To be truly filled with the Spirit, you have to realize a few things:

Weak = Strong You have to be honest and admit your weaknesses. When you admit your weaknesses you make room for the Spirit in your life. Paul talks about this in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:

I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses…For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Awareness = Habitual You must learn to live every moment with awareness of the Spirit so that it becomes so ingrained that you do it without even thinking about it.

Follower = Spirit-filled Relying on the Spirit as your Guide makes those huge things that tend to frustrate and aggravate small and inconsequential.

Spirit = Not Alone A follower realizes that this journey we are taking was not meant to take alone. Walking with Spirit gives us the guidance and strength we need.

Are you trying to lead the Holy Spirit or are you letting the Holy Spirit lead you? Still wondering? Then finishing the following sentence might give you some insight:

“By the power of the Holy Spirit….”

Blessings!

So how would you finish the sentence above? Is there anything else on your heart today? Join the conversation below to share in the blessing!

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If you’ve been reading my blog you’ll know I’m blogging through Kyle Idleman’s book “Not a Fan.”  (You can catch up here.) Today I’m discussing the fourth question in diagnosing fandom: are you more focused on the outside than the inside?

Are you a Sadducee or Pharisee? Are you choosing rules over a relationship? Are you choosing laws over love? Are you choosing guilt over grace?

In other words are you missing what really matters most because you are more focused on the outside than the inside?

Let me share a little example.

Last January we did the Daniel fast as part of a church wide fast. For the entire 21 days I was completely absorbed in the what I could/couldn’t eat. If you ask me what I got out of it, I wouldn’t be able to tell you…other than knowing exactly what you can and can’t eat on the Daniel fast.

This January I was not going to fast. And I was pretty emphatic about it. I was not going to put myself through 21 days of extreme vegan diet. But something our pastor said made me stop and think. He pointed out that the point of the fast wasn’t to get all legalistic about food but to bring you closer to God.

So I fasted again.

And this time it was entirely different.

Yes, I followed the rules…to a point, but it was more about spending time with God than in worrying about what I ate.

And that’s the whole point.

Jesus want to spend time with you…He doesn’t care if you don’t follow every teeny tiny rule of a fast.

Jesus wants you to get closer to Him…He doesn’t care if you eat at the Pancake Pantry in Gatlinburg because you went on vacation in the middle of your fast. (Note to self: do not start a fast if you’re going on vacation!)

Jesus wants you to mature in your walk with Him…He doesn’t care if you have to substitute organic blue corn chips for matzos because there isn’t a kosher section to be found anywhere in Pigeon Forge. Grits…yes…matzos…no.

A fan worries about what they’re eating…a follower chases after Jesus.

Blessings!

What are you being legalistic about in your life? Is there anything else on your heart today? Join the conversation below so we can all share in the blessing!

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If you’ve been reading my blog you’ll know I’m blogging through Kyle Idleman’s book “Not a Fan.”  (You can catch up here.) Today I’m discussing the third question in diagnosing fandom: is Jesus One of many or your One and Only?

Of all the chapters diagnosing fandom this is one that will really make you stop and “smell the roses” so to speak. 

In Luke 14:25-27 Jesus tells the crowds that they need to loose their family, their spouse and even their selves if they want to be His disciple.

Up to this point He had people following Him for all sorts of reasons. I can imagine that after this speech He whittled the crowd down a bit. The fans would have called it quits while the followers would have continued on for the long haul.

What would you have done?

Would you have been one of the fans that packed up and went back home or would you have followed Him to the ends of the earth?

Kyle asks some really good questions that might help you decide:

1. For what do you sacrifice your money?
2. When you’re hurt where do you go for comfort?
3. What disappoints or frustrates you the most?
4. What is it that really gets you excited?

Your answers to these questions can show you where your heart truly lies and whether you are a fan or a follower.

“Following Jesus means following Him alone. Fan’s don’t want to put Jesus on the throne of their hearts. Instead they keep a couch on their heart and, at the most, give Jesus a cushion. He’s asked to share the space. But Jesus has made it clear to this crowd He’s not interested in sharing your heart.” Kyle Idelman

Yeah…answering the questions above were a real eye opener for me…and I’m sure for you as well!

Blessings!

If following Jesus cost you everything would it still be worth it? Is there anything else on year heart today? Comment below and share in the blessing!

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