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The mind flees

Reason vanishes as those emotions invade the soul

To hold hostage a free spirit.

Imprisoned within the pleasure of longing

Of obsession thoughts circle around the object of desire

Every day, every hour, every single moment.

Tasks are saturated by its presence

Movement becomes delayed

As if time is slowed down by it

Hips sway.

Hurry no longer appears as rush.

Just an internal secret rush of adrenaline, endorphine.

Chilly for the senses.

A torturing tickle.

An urge to satisfy a raging hunger.

Always on the edge

Always agonizing for control

Disruption disturbs orderly behavior.

Social expectations now weigh heavy.

Tormenting.

Magnifying pleasurable torture

And again

Emotions rise once more, amplified by a thought.

How much relief is craved for

When anger and lust merge

Through helplessness within the soul

Possession over emotions by another

How much it is despised

Rebellion emerges from the skyhigh depth of darkness

Inside of the tempel of the doomed

Deep down within, hidden, exposed, unknown yet familiar

Shadows rise, And shadows in form of light emerge

It is unclear who conquers the situation

Ambiguity whether to give in to those undying urges

Or to smother them

Fact is, there is no way out

All doors are locked

And he holds the key

The drug, the fix

Him.

My sustenance.

~ Joice Joker

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Set Ablaze

Fluids, silky and streamy
Streaming down in rivers of silk
Wetting a perfectly silent face
Still, without movement
Witnesses of pure joy, pure torture
When you’re with me

When my heart aches and bleeds for your words
When muscles tremble and skin hungers for your touch
When my lungs open and breathe freely
All because you’ve stroked me

Whenever your gaze reaches deep inside
When I shiver and shake, squirm and twist
Those eyes, whenever they rest upon me
Whenever you pull out truth
My deceiving lips will not admit

Clear juices stream down pale thighs
The missing, the delirium – pleasurably unbearable
My thoughts, my blood are no longer mine
Like a slave to your look
A whore for your touch
A mistress to your words
Doomed….forever
To sell myself to you
Over and over and over again

I am no longer myself
I have never been more of myself
As much as I seek freedom
I find it within your realm
Even in this short time of your absence
It curiously grows with every moment passing
With every smile I smile and every step I take

And again
As bonds strengthen
Tentacles crawl up and down blood filled veins
They pull and tear the soul apart
And heal at once
Wings grow that much stronger, wider
And who could ever have the strength to hold me
In ways I haven’t been held before
I want it all
And more, MORE!!!

My whole being
Sensitive like water’s substance
It’s disturbance shows in waves across the surface
My skin, a conductor for my soul when it ripples
My eyes, a magnifyer to my spirit when it reflects yours
My desire, to be held captive, to be free
My urges of destruction and aliveness
All the same
All at once

My whole being
A wild fire
Consuming, warming, deadly

My whole being
Flimsy air
It’s here and it’s there
It gives a chill, a sudden wind
For relieve and sometimes not

My soul – you hold it in your palms
I will have to strike at you at least one more time
At least one more dagger, one more crime

What on earth is this obsession
This addiction, this overwhelm

I’m lost for words
As much as they pour out of me
They are stuck in my heart
Between my legs
Up the spine
And into the brain
Oddly titilating

What will they think
When they see those glassy eyes
On the bus or in the subway
When I sit at the bar in solitude
With a sweet red in my hand
My breath deep and heavy
Or when I wonder the streets on my own

Some whisper „She’s on drugs, what a pity“
Others hiss „That harlot…“
Who knows what they suspect
And then there are those who see
Those who smell the pheromones
The despair rising from my center
Those who take a second look
But when our eyes meet they see nothing

Nothing but my longing
A shudder, goosebumps all over me
Confusion takes over and ecstasy rises
That cocktail of intensity
So yearned for

Those voices inside screaming
Of lust, of recklessness
Fearless, anxious
What will he take over next
Is there anything left
I am remote controlled, liberated
Careless about either one of the contradictions, really

They say „women want to be lied to“
I say we want to be conquered

They say „women are whores“
I say we are bitches

They say „women need to get layed“
And I say they are damn right

A million times and more
So be with me
When my craving is only for you
When I lust after the craziness in you
Your overwhelming madness
When nothing else will do

I am so lost a child
In your eyes, your smile, your soul
A maze in which I stroll
Once entered my fate is chosen
Slowly a death is imposed upon me
My soul torn apart
Between us two

Where do I live
Where is home
Never have I been so confused
Never have I been so clear
Within your love
Held captive
Yet so free

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Heaven within the Fires of Hell

Once more I’m free to feel
The way I always wanted to
The way I was made to live
To walk, to talk, to fight, to love
To draw chalk hearts onto life’s blackoards

To drive my daggers into a lover’s heart
While he holds my shield for me
Then I walk and leave him wounded
Surprised, when I return
No strike ever hurt him
Not a scratch, not a lesion
Nothing

Vicious a beast I am
In spite of the ecstacy that shakes me
Whenever he brakes me
And rapes me
And tastes me

Sharpened claws rapture his skin
Wherever they find it they fracture
Bloody red
Like the blood that escapes him

Smoldering rubble, set ablaze by his wind
A phoenix rises from ashes to sing
Why, I ever wondered
Can a man of such strength have me surrender

For one, it isn’t seen often
That one feeds and bends
The fire that openly burns
In a heart so sheltered from weakness of men
Here comes one who knows to be one of them
Those who stand tall within the storms
Caused by an insane fem

Those who raise hell within my soul
Just to captivate it and to mold
Into the one I already am
To my surprise, I never claimed
The facets of me he now holds

Within his voice – My thoughts
Within his act – My motives
Within his presence – My air

I can’t hold myself together
Not my spine breaking in two
Nor my heart, penetrated by you

While I feel ashamed, proud
While I feel doomed to love you
Accepted by you
Worshipped, burned and sacrificed…

My
Would I have ever known
The world inside of me
How it unfolds
The moment you touch it…

In that moment I found heaven
Within the fires of hell

~ Joice Joker

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The Box

Slender fingers open the lid
Inside worms and worms and more worms
Some red, rings in equal distance
Press into the flesh
Inflate the bellies between them
Others yellow, a few legs
Big eyes of brown color

And then there are black ones
Long, a thousand legs and more

A curious fascination
Anticipation of movement
Then disgust, revulsion
A stale taste on a sensitive tongue

Worms of hate and anger
Of fury and sadness
Maggets here and there
Spreading dull sensations
Within the stomach, in the head
Inside of the heart

Yet a heart intrigued by love
Love provoked by a kiss
The kiss of the printed word
A flirt with the darkness unknown
A voice, a face, a phantom

Confusion reigns
Those switches are well known
Every single step to conquer, to claim
To initiate, to seduce
How to win a heart
How to dispose of it

Helplessness now, emotions in captivity
It was only a look, really
Innocently even
Just a glimpse of curiosity

And what to do with this knowledge
Those squirming worms
Inside a confused mind

Oh, to hell with this madness
Are you in on this love or are you not
Well then!
Silence those traitorous thoughts at once
Leap
And fly
Once more

With Love

Pandora

PS. : Hand over the box to me
I shall close it for you.

~ Joice Joker

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So many wicked thoughts…..where do I begin to live them? A mischievous smile flings over the face, than it vanishes into played innocence. A sense for adventure, to go beyond limits, to break rules flushes the system. This twitching and itching from head to toe…

Obnoxious irritation. So undeniably delicious, sweet to the nervous system, exiting to the spirit. The death of one situation to the rise of another, a multitude of outrageous impressions entering the mind. The want to give in to them – so strong. With the flick of a wrist, tender feet emerge from veiling, soft flowing fabric that covered them. Oh, my… Silk streams down onto the floor, Thighs revealed, shining with excitement. Well, then . . . Those penetrating gazes from across the bar, wolf eyes, starved, blood thirst. Nothing is to be hidden from them. They will absorbingly discover every tiny movement, every such small a place of revealed skin, the smallest twist of emotional transformation.

Violent hunger for every faint detail in exchange for the lust of revealing in awkwardness that which is not to be uncovered. Whispers. Murmurs. Nearly unnoticed, almost raping, to the piano, the sweet song of a singer on stage. More eyes are fixated on the exorbitant mocking of light flesh. Oh, that little sting of exhibitionism. How well it plays into the voyeuristic observation of attentive eyes. How well it plays into the gasps of those who would not dare to surrender of any, any thought of . . . well – daring… Gaming with fire, utmost tension, suffocating breezes, falling from a van clinging to the ceiling. Long lashes sink down slowly only to rise up slowly as if they are heavily ladden with laziness, blue eyes ask for permission to stay closed, to linger within the non-existent boundaries of the darkness behind the lids. The necklace, more a tool for bondage, glides through skilled hands, playfully exploring every bead, every pendant, every link of that endlessly long chain accommodating a nesting for ravishing colors and shapes, the slow smooth movements of every dome lapsing from one elegant finger to the next, extending into dark red nails, movements, which lure those who watch, into oblivion. And again the eyes wander down the necklace, with the sole purpose to find it striking along smooth thighs. What a sight, what a feeling. Exhilaration takes over and tempts into further tempting those eyes, which are capable to remote control vocal cords, hands and body. Along the lines of disclosure runs the inherent threat to provoke utmost violence. Emotions which tear on control. To leave the desire unfulfilled gives such pleasure, the assurance that by removing the object of longing it evokes even more of such. More pain, more pleasure. When the fabric is being moved over those pale long legs again, the forlorn sensable torture of those for whom those tools of enticement are now to be unseen is irrevocably intimidating. The stares become more intense as if they could melt away the clothing that hides the treasure underneath. A silent threat roams through the air, alarmingly intimidating, Blood pressure rises. Movements, smooth, figures closing in. Dark clothing hiding strong muscles, a scent of anxiety pungent in the air. Sailors. Sweat builds along red hair follicles in the nape. The desired effect is created. Until next time. One smoldering look over the shoulder into hungry eyes, then out of the door. The fresh air rips the soul into another reality. Some deep breaths. That was close. A smile carves it’s way from one side of the face to the other. Utter disturbance through subtlety was the goal. And was it not created? Dark red high heels make a clicking sound each time they hit the pavement of the lively mainstreet’s sidewalk. To get away with such provocation is a skill, it takes timing and language. It was mastered tonight. How many more times can one get away with it? We shall see . . . ~ Joice Joker

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Nothing compares
To your love
Your touch
Your torture

Do not deprive me of my choices
By suggesting you are anything less
Than perfect
I shall fight even harder, more vigorous
With every fiber of my soul…

Trouble… yes
Pleasure strikes provoked by you
Contradictions leave me complicated
I am willing to pay the price
For you to welcome me to love you
Whatever it takes
Wherever it will take me

The fetish still around my neck
I walk through my day
Words of surprise, of arousal
Touch my ear – their pleadings for ecstasy
Ringing in my mind

Saturated by your being, your voice, your love
Never shall I forget how you touched me when you didn’t
Never will I forget how you possessed me with your words
When I was at the mercy of your willpower, my own surrender

I love you
With every atom of me
Every thought, every emotion
Every whim and erratic fit
I love you when the sun goes down
When it rises
When the moon cycles across the dark sky
When birds sing and bats fly

So tell me – why should I care about the troubles
You may inflict oupon me…
Perhaps they are the air I breathe
The earth I walk on
The fire burning inside of me
A desire to be wasted and slaughtered
By love and pleasure
Through the troubles you bring

My tears are a gift for you
So you will see me for who I am
Never will I pull away my love from you
Even when you are busy with whatever you are busy with
My wrath may awaken
Insanity might clasp tightly
Yet my love will never die
The troubles you give me I welcome
Because with you I feel complete

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