The New Adventures of PANSI And Friends

NG4J and Lafayette

2014-08-01T04:16:00.001-06:00

Here's a blast from the past featuring a 2010 photo of Lafayette the Cat with members of the NG4J Crew. Clockwise from the bottom are Dr. Doo Doo, me (Emrald), Brittney, Aubvey, and Doo Doo Girl. PANSI is behind Lafayette's head, which really made her angry!

This photo originally appeared in this post on our old blog. 

~Emrald~

Cross-Posted to:

Animal Anarchy

The New Adventures of PANSI and Friends

PANSI and Friends

New Feature: Monthly Netherworld Wrap-up #1

2014-08-01T00:14:00.000-06:00

DJ Badass Brittney and her pal Merlin

New Feature:

Monthly Netherworld Wrap-up

Installment #1

Hello, Worms! Brittney here to introduce you to our brand-new monthly Netherworld wrap-up. Unfortunately, following my intelligent and readable paragraph, I will be turning you over to PANSI, who would give birth to livestock if I didn't let her take the first Monthly Wrap-up.

We apologize for it being so long between appearances, but thanks to the antics of the Vogon Empire, we were stuck in some crappy dimension where we became two-dimensional versions of ourselves. Of course PANSI is always two-dimensional, but I digress.

I now turn you over to PANSI. I normally apologize to no-one for nothing, but for this odious act, I sincerely apologize.

Brittney

For the NG4J Netherworld Wrap-Up

A FOGNL/UNDEAD Production

Prima Donna PANSI

BRITTNEY, as yooshal, you are the one who is oderous!!!!! Of coarse it shood be me who hoasts the rap-up, becuz I am the #1 DIVA of all the YOONAVERSE!!!!!!

I blaim Anna from Hearding Cat's and Burning Soop for makeing me do so much typeing! This Monthly Rap Up ting is her idea!!!!

First, the CHEESE MISTRESS finaly got a noo camra. This is impoartent, becuz now she can take new pikshure's of me!!!! You see that compyuooter I'm standing in front of???? That pikshure was takin back in 2007 or some thing. That compyooter doesent evin work eny more.

So MRS. WEIRDSO has publeshed a noo book, which C.J. Duffey has riten about heer. Well, big woop!!!! I woodent evin have EMRALD reed me this book as a farey tale nite time storey. It is blast feemus in the acstreme, I am shure.

Also, Mrs. Weirdso used to be my publasist and stuff, but then she fired me and sent me and AUBVEY and BRITTNEY and DR. DOO DOO and DOO DOO GIRL and EMRALD to live in the Never World with the CHEESE MISTRESS, who is the worst, most lazyest publasist EVER!!!!!

So, it is toatally time for me to make a COME BACK!!!!!! I no my fan's have been clamaring for some thing new from PANSI and Naykid Jim Nastick's for JESUS 4 EVER!!!!!

I guess the Cheese Mistress is working on it, but I don't truss her.

Brittney want's me to say that you can all so follow us on our soshal meedia and all so on our new WERD PRESS Blog. You can fined the linx below!

XOXO,

PANSI!!!!!!!

ARE LINX:

Are Fase Book Page
The New Adventures of PANSI and Friends (Blogger)

PANSI and Friends on Wordpress

Undead in the Never World Fase Book Page

Undead in the Never World Twitter

Happppy Xmahannukwanzyule to All

2013-12-24T23:47:00.000-07:00

Um....so, like, this is Doo Doo girl or something.

......................

Like, I'm suposed to wish you a Happey Xmahannukwanzyule and stuff like that and everything.

................................

I'm not in this picture because may be I was holeding the camra....or a joint....or something.

888888888888

So, like, Happi Ksmahannuktanzuyle.

***********************************************

88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

This Shine Nog is reaaaalllly strong this year!!!!!!

...................................

So, like, happy new year and stufff!!!!!

*******************

*hic*

~dOO Doo Girl~

Oh yeah....

The Cheese Mouser also wanted you to now that you can know find us also at:

KHEL 666

The Living Dead

Undead in the Netherworld

Okay...

Peach and Joy to the World!!!!!

Brittney's Axe Man Trouble

2013-10-13T15:58:00.000-06:00

Every year as the VILE Awards draw near, Axe Man's penis gets overtaken by crude fantasies of boning me, badass KHEL 666 DJ Brittney

Aubvey suggested that I sic Baxter the Cowardly Pit Bull on Axe Man. I told Aubvey that it would be more effective to sic one of The Cheesemeister's toothless cats on Axe.

Leon: Toothless since 2007

Lafayette: Spokes-Cat for the Animal Anarchy page. Toothless since 2013.

Tara: Possibly Lafayette's cousin or half-sister. Toothless since 2013.

Tard and Kristin Stewart: Curmudgeons

Well, I suppose I've kept you worms in suspense for long enough about my horrible tale of woe. So I'll let you vicariously live my much cooler life than yours for a few brief and shining moments.

My Awful Axe Man Problems

Brittney

Axe Man has been a cretin since the day he was born. His lack of common sense trumps the witlessness of all the other fools and potato-heads in this or any other world. Despite the fact that I tell him these things to his face, it doesn't matter. There is a terrible curse which binds us to one another and insures that this addle-headed Scandinavian drunkard will run circles around himself until the end of time in pursuit of my affections.

Axe Man once ran off the edge of a cliff chasing me with a bouquet of cheap flowers. I stopped at the edge, and he kept going. This is the very thing that I expected him to do. One time I convinced him that the thunder from a coming storm was a troop of giants who had come all the way from Asgard to listen to him play guitar solos in the rain. The electric shocks from the wet connections didn't even make him sleepy because he's so oblivious. This is why the idiot continues to think that he has a chance with me, even though I have slighted his disgusting advances from the time that he first propositioned me.

The Prophet Wadils Quackvack leads Gerry Giraffe via his Ministry of Silly Walks

Back in 2006, the Prophet Wadils Quackvack told me that until one of the Norns mends the thread binding me and Axe Man, I will forever have this zany ignoramus pursuing me against the odds. I would think that the connection would more likely be broken if one of these Norn broads were to cut the thread, but I don't expect too much.

Buckfast Tonic Wine

After all, the Prophet Quackvack is a duck with a fondness for Buckfast Tonic Wine, and I have the feeling that Axe may have paid him to try and trick me into thinking that it was my destiny to end up mated with a moron.

Brittney

for

FOGNL/UNDEAD Media Services

Cross Posted to:

Brittney Is Queen of the Universe

The Living Dead

Undead in the Netherworld

Just Can't Stop Praising PANSI--I Meen The Lord

2013-10-13T07:28:00.000-06:00

This band pre formed this morening at the Enny Faith Will Do Church for the NAKED JIM NASTICK'S FOR JESUS ackstrava ganza. They shure did half a good sound, but they were waring way too menny close!!!!! All so I reely dout enny of there buttox were PURPULE!!!!!

PANSI!!!!!!!!

P is for PANSI!!!!!

2013-04-18T00:00:00.000-06:00

#1 Netherworld Diva Superstar PANSI!!!!!

A to Z Blogging Challenge: P is for PANSI!!!!!

PANSI!!!!!!!!!

Note: This is in PANSI'S own words, unedited and uncut. Read at your own risk!

Grreeting's little peepul! My name is PANSI!!!!!!! I am the #1 Diva Mega Super Star in all the nown Yoonaverse!!!!!!! I am the Leeder of the #1 Super Hot Dance and Acting Troup, NAKED GYMNASTIC'S FOR JESUS!!!!!!!

I orijinaley came from Auburn, Alabama and mooved to Hobbseywood, but now I am stuck in the NEVER WORLD with the CHEESE MISTRESS as my publasist!!!!!!! This is a fait worser than HELLL!!!!!!! The CHEESE MISTRESS is a tarribule publasist!!!!!!! She is all way's thinking about the blast feemous riting that her and that heething ghost, The Spooookey Guy, does togetur.

I am hear in the NEVER WORLD with my so called frend's. Sum frend's!!!!! Aubvey spend's all her time makeing out with Warren the Wraith. She is such a sex feend!!!!!!

Brittney is just meen and evil. Her boy friend is Nikki 666, who is the Devil's son!!!!!!!

Dr. Doo Doo own's the Holy Drug Ware House. I guess he is okay.

Doo Doo Girl is Dr. Doo Doo's wife, i think. She is all way's stoned. She stoled my necklace and I have never forgived her for that!!!!!!

Emrald is going to hell in a Ham Biskit. She belief's she is the re-encarnation of Cleapatera. She all so believs that the Meek Mok's are comming to take over the Erth.

Peepul in the Never World ware too much clothe's. Accept for the Reverend Jimmy Reptile. But his Mega Church, the Any Faith Will Do Church that him and the Holy Carp builded together is reely Unchristinane. He need's to find Jesus again.

All So, I am stuck heer with all these Cat's. Can you think of a worser helll????

Lafayette is a big attenshon hog who up staged me totally!!!!! You can onley see my hair behind his big fat head. I am stuck in front of his Unchristinane Idol of Worship, the Cat Goddess. All so, he is prolly GAY!!!!! Just like that guy from Bon Temp's, where all the vaimpire's lives. He has a sister named Tara. Well, she is not his bialojickal sister, she is his adopted sister. I don't no why the CHEESE MISTRESS had to go adopt CAT'S when she shoud of ben promoting ME!!!!!! I have ben heer since 2009 and she has done a CRAPPY JOB the hole time!!!!!!!

Heer is Trinity. She is a frend of Emrald and is a Unchristinane Space Alliean!!!!!!!

I don't no why Prezzadent Nixxon ensist's on haveing Flowering Kudzu as his Vise Prezzadent evry Allecshon hear in the NEVER WORLD. She is so haynous!!!!!!!

So now you no about me, PANSI!!!!!! And you no that I desserve far more fandum than I have got stuck heer in the NEVER WORLD!!!!! The glorry of my PURPLE BUTTOX is not being onnered in the way it desserve's!!!!!!!

Thank you for takeing time to reed what I have ritten, my divvoted follower's!!!!!! I hope I have winned some Convert's heer today!!!!!!

Cross posted to UNDEAD IN THE NEVER WORLD!!!!!!

Kiss Kiss,

PANSI!!!!!!!!

2013-04-17T00:00:00.000-06:00

A to Z Blogging Challenge

O is for Ode

Brittney

Popular KHEL 666 DJ Brittney and her little friend Merlin

Greetings, Worms! DJ Brittney here, ordering you to read my entry into this undeserving contest. An Ode is a poem glorifying a person, place, or thing. Many odes have been written about me, so it would be kind of redundant to write one about myself. So instead I'll write an Ode to the Netherworld.

An Ode to the Netherword

Brittney

The Netherworld is my home

Although from it I often roam

To other worlds in the gloam

I love the Netherworld

PANSI may complain

But she is just a drain

And she doesn't have a brain

I love the Netherworld

There are demons, ghosts, and ghouls

And a whole damn lot of fools

Some creatures you might even call cool

I love the Netherworld

With Xenomorph nothing rhymes

But there's lots of them around all the time

I don't mind them except for the slime

I love the Netherworld

I've been with a few men, it's true

But nowhere near as many as Peggy Sue

Anyway, I've better things to do than screw

I love the Netherworld

Listen to my show on KHEL-666

Where the music really kicks

Stick around and you'll learn a few tricks

I love the Netherworld

Axe Man may think one day

He'll get a piece, but there's no way

I don't really mind him anyway

I love the Netherworld

Well, I'm about out of time

Although I could probably come up with another rhyme

I'll make this my last line

I LOVE THE NETHERWORLD!

~Brittney~

I hope that keeps you worms going for a while! Don't forget my live show this Saturday night at Ugly Grace's. Send your requests to me, mistressbrittney at khel666 dot com

Peggy Sue Unearthly and Axe Man are members of Death Cheese. Find out more about them here.

Visit KHEL 666

Visit Poetry of the Netherworld

Visit Undead in the Netherworld

Mistress Brittney

PANSI'S Date with Yam Man

2013-04-16T05:57:00.000-06:00

PANSI: Divine Diva

Yam Man: Pop Psychologist

PANSI'S Date with Yam Man

Ivanna B. Ilona

This is a writing challenge from Trifecta. The third definition of the word is used.

color (noun)
1a : a phenomenon of light (as red, brown, pink, or gray) or visual perception that enables one to differentiate otherwise identical objects
b (1) : the aspect of the appearance of objects and light sources that may be described in terms of hue, lightness, and saturation for objects and hue, brightness, and saturation for light sources

(2) : a color other than and as contrasted with black, white, or gray
2a : an outward often deceptive show : appearance
b : a legal claim to or appearance of a right, authority, or office
c : a pretense offered as justification : pretext
d : an appearance of authenticity : plausibility
3: complexion tint:

a : the tint characteristic of good health

b : blush

“PANSI, you look fresh as morning!” proclaimed Yam Man, the popular pop psychologist from the FOGNL network. “You have a radiant glow about you. Your color, if I may be so bold as to say, is the color of beauty itself. Why, all the goddesses of beauty could not compare to your loveliness!”

“Those creatures are heething figlets of the imagination!” PANSI proclaimed in her high-pitched tremolo. “And you are a blast feemer for believing in them, Yam Man!”

“But PANSI, all I was trying to say is that I am enchanted by your radiance,” Yam Man protested. “You are the very essence of the feminine ideal. The blush of your cheeks reminds one of roses at the dawn of a new day.”

“I am sure that you also appreciate the healthy color of my purple buttocks,” PANSI proclaimed, pirouetting to show Yam Man her painted derriere. “All of my real fans do.”

“Well, of course I do,” Yam Man said, blushing fiercely. “Though not in a blast feemous or impious way, of course. That would be evil or something.”

“Evil is Brittney’s department,” PANSI said. “You’ll have to take that up with her. She is a blast feemer who dates demons and doesn’t have purple buttocks. And if you will notice, her color is the color of darkness and evil and doom and all that sort of thing.”

“Well, Brittney is the yang to your yin, or something,” Yam Man said.

“Oriental religion is blast feemous,” said PANSI. “They worship heething creatures like lions and tigers and dragons.”

“Oh my,” Yam Man said. “But what do you think of Oriental food, my dear PANSI?”

“I like the spices. They bring color to my cheeks. I like Moo Goo Gai Pan, though not nearly as much as chicken and biscuits.”

“Would you like to go to lunch at Foo King’s with me?” Yam Man asked hopefully.

“Sure! If we can order Sake. It gives my cheeks a healthy blush too.”

“Let’s go, then!”

Word count: 333

Ivanna B. Ilona

For

FOGNL/UNDEAD Media

NG4J DIVA PANSI GETS FREND ZONDED

2013-01-02T01:00:00.001-07:00

You wood not ever of thot that I cood fall for a member of DETH CHEEZ!!!!

NEVER WORLD DIVA FREND ZONEDED BY DETH CHEEZ BASSEST!!!!!!

PANSI!!!!!!!

Deer fans I no you wood not think it cood ever happin to me, but I fell in love with a membur of DETH CHEEZ!!!!!!

Yes, that is rite, I fell in love with BUZZ OFF!!!!!

If you don't no, he is the bassest for DETH CHEEZ!!!!!!

He is a Bee Yackee. If you don't no, that is a bee from outer spase. But you wood have to ask Emrald if you wanted to no more, becuz I don't no any more.

You mite think from looking at him that he is blast feemous and evil and Unchristinane.

Well, he is blast feemous and Unchristinane. But he is reely, reely nise.

He was my seckrit Santa for Xmahannukwanzyule, and for a present, he took me flyin all around the Yooniverse. And he was so nise to me and that is why I falled in love with him!!!!

Here is a pikshure of us on our romantick flite.

Onley he didn't think it was romantickal! He thot we were just two good buddeez on a rode trip in spase!!!!!!!

And then to make things even worserer, when I finded out that Buzz Off didn't want me, I finded out that ROTTEN RALPH does!!!!!!

You see, Buzz Off is a reely nice spase bee. He was such a gentul man. I felt reely safe flying with him. I new even tho he is in DETH CHEEZ that I wanted to be marryed to him. But he FREND ZONEDED ME!!!!!

So I am hart broken.

I no that Buzz Off is reely smart, but I think he is bein reely dumb if he can't see that I am the MOST WONDERFULLEST DOLL IN ALL THE YOONA VERSE!!!!!

I'm gonna go cry and play sad music now.

PANSI!!!!!

Netherworld Cinema: Dagon

2012-12-19T23:16:00.001-07:00

BRITTNEY AND EMRALD'S REVIEW

Guest starring Mr. Howard Phillips Lovecraft

BRITTNEY: The special effects were cheesy as hell, and not in a good way.

EMRALD: Still, it was infinitely more watchable than the last film we reviewed. The acting was better and the cinematography was superior.

BRITTNEY: It was slightly more true to the story--but to the wrong story. This was "The Shadow Over Innsmouth," not "Dagon." Although of course Lovecraft's "Shadow Over Innsmouth..."

HPL: Deep ones don't have octopus tentacles for legs!

EMRALD: Lovecraft's "Shadow Over Innsmouth" did not include creatures with octopus tentacles for legs.

HPL: To quote that fellow Robert Olmstead, whom I interviewed for my investigative report, entitled, of course, "The Shadow over Innsmouth..." Well, let me just read you the passage wherein he describes the bus driver, a Deep One hybrid.

(clears throat)

"His age was perhaps thirty-five, but the odd, deep creases in the sides of his neck made him seem older when one did not study his dull, expressionless face. He had a narrow head, bulging, watery-blue eyes that seemed never to wink, a flat nose, a receding forehead and chin, and singularly undeveloped ears. His long thick lip and coarse-pored, greyish cheeks seemed almost beardless except for some sparse yellow hairs that straggled and curled in irregular patches; and in places the surface seemed queerly irregular, as if peeling from some cutaneous disease. His hands were large and heavily veined, and had a very unusual greyish-blue tinge. The fingers were strikingly short in proportion to the rest of the structure, and seemed to have a tendency to curl closely into the huge palm. As he walked toward the bus I observed his peculiarly shambling gait and saw that his feet were inordinately immense."

HPL: You see, dear ladies, he had feet. Feet! Not octopus tentacles! And listen to this, my friends. This is from my investigative report, entitled Dagon. The poor fellow who gave me this information asked not to be named, and I respected this wishes. Just listen a moment.

(clears throat)

"Of their faces and forms I dare not speak in detail, for the mere remembrance makes me grow faint. Grotesque beyond the imagination of a Poe or a Bulwer, they were damnably human in general outline despite webbed hands and feet, shockingly wide and flabby lips, glassy, bulging eyes, and other features less pleasant to recall. Curiously enough, they seemed to have been chiselled badly out of proportion with their scenic background; for one of the creatures was shown in the act of killing a whale represented as but little larger than himself."

HPL: Does this report make any mention of octopus tentacles?

Emrald: Well, no, Mr. Lovecraft. No octopus tentacles.

HPL: Feet, my dear ladies. Webbed feet. Feet are mentioned. Feet.

Emrald: Absolutely, Mr. Lovecraft. Feet.

HPL: Do you know what else was not mentioned in my investigative report, dear ladies?

Brittney: Let me guess. Sex-crazed octopus creature hybrids with staring eyes.

HPL: Yes. And Dagon is not an octopus monster in a well which tears women's arms off in its lust to impregnate them with its spawn.

Emrald: Would you like a cup of tea, Mr. Lovecraft?

HPL: I would, my dear. But could you add a little something--extra to it? If you take my meaning.

(Cuzzin Hildy-Bob enters room)

Cuzzin Hildy-Bob: Howdy, gals! Howdy, Mr. Lovecraft! Would y'all like a nice cup of my special Xmahannukwanzyule Shine Spiced Cider?

HPL: That would be the very thing, dear Cuzzin Hildy-Bob. Thank you so much! Have you seen this film? It's a travesty, my friend, an absolute travesty!

Cuzzin Hildy-Bob: (calls into hallway) Hey, Virgie, better make Mr. Lovecraft's a double!

Coming up next:

Brittney, Emrald, and Mr. Lovecraft review the film version of "Herbert West, Re-Animator."

Brittney, Emrald, and H.P. Lovecraft

For FOGNL/UNDEAD Entertainment

Netherworld Cinema: The Lurking Fear

2012-12-17T07:29:00.001-07:00

EMRALD AND BRITTNEY'S REVIEW

Emrald: Wow, just like HPL wrote it--so not!

Brittney: I hope this was deliberately bad. Otherwise, it was just bad.

Emrald: The characters were two-dimensional, cheesy stereotypes.

Brittney: The monsters were completely lame and wouldn't scare anyone over the age of six.

Emrald: On the positive side, for those who like explosions, there were explosions.

Brittney: Lovecraft would be turning over in his grave if he weren't sitting right next to us getting hammered on Shine.

Emrald: The poor man. I don't blame him a bit.

Brittney: Stick around, it's likely we can find more ways to torture you. It's rare to find a Lovecraft story that has been translated to film in any respectable way.

Lovecraft: Gods--the horror! The horrible mutilation of my tale!

Emrald: They did seem to enjoy mutilating it, Mr. Lovecraft. Try to see the bright side!

Brittney: Stop torturing the poor man, Emrald. Let's see what we can find to watch while Mr. Lovecraft is still conscious.

Happy Lovecraftmas

2012-12-17T07:22:00.001-07:00

Merry Xmahannukwanzyule to all the Lovecraft Groupies. We found a whole bunch of Lovecraft videos to share. So don't say we never gave you anything. --Brittney

Stop Evry Thing! Heere's PANSI!!!!!

2012-11-25T09:55:00.001-07:00

All rite evry buddy, lissen up!!!! The Cheese Mistress went and maid annother new blog that is suposed to take the plase of the other blog's. Well, she thot she was bein sneeky and keeping it from me. BRITTNEY and EMRALD new about it all allong. I don't no if DOO DOO GIRL new about it becuz she is all ways stone'd out of her hed.

Well I found out about this new blog and I through a tempar tantrum untill the CHEESE MISTRESS agread to let me half axcess to it. So now you can find me on my mane blog, on my Possterus blog, or on the new blog!!!! This is grate for you becuz now there is moar of me!!!!!

PANSI!!!!!

Dr. Doo Doo and PANSI Give a Lesson About Thyroids

2012-11-25T07:59:00.001-07:00

Even Dr. Schitz wants to strangule the CHEESE MISTRESS!!!!

Hear is a webb site that Dr. Schitz reckamend's. It is all about Thy Royd's. The Cheese Mistress could not find her Thy Royd meddasine this morning so she was all in a pannick.

I don't no why he does not just take my addvise. May be if the CHEESE MISTRESS had her fat thy royd remmoved, she wood not have such a fat butt. I am ASSumming that the Thy Royd is in the butt becuz the CHEESE MISTRESS shure has a fat one!!!!

Enny way, how much can you trust the advize of Dr. Schitz??? He was marryed to a Suck You Buss Demon for, like, six years. And now he is ingajed to marry a Parra Medick from the Horrible Dislopian Future. I don't no if she is a demon or not, but if she like's Dr. Schitz, she must be a Blast Femous Heething.

Hear is a link to moar scandall about Dr. Schitz and Nurse Violent and their divorse and new romanse's.

PANSI!!!!

Plague of the Locusts

2012-09-28T07:12:00.001-06:00

I really don't know why I let Brittney talk me into watching this. It reminds me of the lifetime where I was an Egyptian queen and the plague of locusts came and devastated everything. It was terrible!

PANSI says that The Cheesemeister is going to hell in a Ham Biskit for profaning (she actually said Profanilizing) God's name.

EMRALD

REJOICE!!!!! PANSI IS NOW ON POSTEROUS!!!!!!

2012-09-07T08:50:00.001-06:00

Evry boddy else has one of these Possterus blog's now, so I told the Cheese Mistress to make me one, or else! I all so told her to up lode some of are old foto's heer becuz a lot of them got lost by Blogger.

May be she can take some new picshure's today too. That wood be grate!

In the pikshure with me is Dr. Doo Doo, Doo Doo Girl, Pink Octapus, Emrald, Plushy Chest Burster, Felix the Fish, Brittney, and Aubvey.

There is a lot of these Zeena Morf's running around the Never World now, ever sinse the Vortex of Vaguery opined up and dropped them and a bunch of soldier's in. The Zeena Morf's are big fan's of Death Cheese, of coarse. They also make a lot of baby's and live out in the country where Cuzzin Hildy Bob and Virgil Joe live's.

Dr. Daria Morgendorffer say's these Zeena Morf's aren't like the old Zeena Morf's. They just lay their egg's and the egg's hatch like a chicken egg insted of the creature having to grow inside a person. I don't no about any of that but it still sound's gross to me!

I am still WATING for my Hansome Prince to come and rescue me from the NEVER WORLD!!!!!

And the Cheese Mistress still suck's as a publasist!!!!!

And the NEVER WORLD is still evil and full of Blast Feemy!!!!!!!

PANSI!!!!!!

Aubvey's Dreams Analyzed By Her Housemates

2012-03-31T18:05:00.000-06:00

Brittney: Hello, Worms! Brittney here to report on what happened when Aubvey allowed her dreams to be captured by the Dream O Matic Movie Viewer invented by Dr. Schitz, Dr. Fraud, and Dr. Doo Doo.

Emrald: Personally, I think it is terrible to capture dreams. Dreams should be free!

Brittney: Shut up, Emrald.

Dr. Doo Doo: Cool, Man! It actually worked!

Brittney: So what did you bring to the table for this invention, Dr. Doo Doo?

Dr. Doo Doo: Well, like, the usual stuff, Babe. Shine, Shrooms, and plenty of good ole Farmaceuticals, you know?

Doo Doo Girl: Wow! Look at the pretty pictures!

PANSI!!!!!!: WELL!!!! LET'S JUST SEE WHAT SOART OF BLAST FEEMUS THING'S THAT AUBVEY IS DREEMING!!!!!

Brittney: Here we see President Obama boarding Air Force One--or at least Aubvey's pathetic dream version of Air Force One.

Emrald: Be nice, Brittney. It isn't pathetic. It's cozy and intimate.

PANSI!!!!!: WELL!!!!! WHILE I AM SURE THAT ANY ONE WHO VOTE'S FOR OBAMMMA IS GOING TO HELL IN A HAM BISKIT, I SERTANLY APPROVE OF HIM TAKING OFF HIS CLOSE!!!! MAY BE THAIR IS A CHANCE THAT HE WILL FOR SAIK HIS EVIL MUSLIN BELEEF'S AND BECOME A GOOD CHRISTINANE!!!!!!

Emrald: Oh, I like this one! It's a vision of hope expressing a hope for change! This is a lovely dream, Aubvey.

Brittney: Barf.

Doo Doo Girl: Lookit the pretty, pretty colors!

PANSI!!!!!: ANNY ONE THAT DOES NOT VOTE FOR NIXON IN THIS ALECKTION IS GOING TO HELL IN A HAM BISKIT!!!!!!!

Emrald: Oh, how perceptive you are, Aubvey! Here is President Obama in his past life, when he was the Pharaoh Tutbama. I recall that life. I was his chief adviser.

Brittney: Probably more like his chief chamber pot cleaner.

Aubvey: Well, thank you, Emrald, for recognizing mah psychotic abilities! Ah do believe that Ah was his numbah one wife in that lifetime. This is probably why Ah feel such a close spiritual kinship with him now.

PANSI!!!!!: RE-IN-CAR-MATION IS BLAST FEEMY!!!!!!! YOU ARE ALL GOING TO HELL IN A HAM BISKIT!!!!!!

Dr. Doo Doo: PANSI, you need to relax, Babe! Here, have a couple of downers to mellow you out.

Doo Doo Girl: Like, they call me Mellow Yellow and stuff.

Dr. Doo Doo: Like, I think Aubvey was getting hungry at the end of her dream. Come to think of it, I'm kind of hungry.

Doo Doo Girl: Like, I totally got the munchies!

Emrald: Some food does sound really good. Are you hungry, Aubvey?

Aubvey: Well, it is getting on towards dinnah time, isn't it, Sugah? A little frahed chicken an' some mashed taters an' gravy do sound pretty fahne.

PANSI!!!!!!: THAT WILL ALL STICK TO YOUR WASTE LINE!!!!! DON'T COME CRYING TO ME WHEN YOU TURN INTO A BIG FAT SIZE 0!!!!!!!!!

Brittney: I think I may have lost my appetite. That picture suddenly revealed deep, Freudian meanings to me and it almost scarred my sanity. Besides, isn't the Cheesemeister cooking tonight?

Aubvey: Aw, Brittney, don't be a kill joy. Besides, I think that Soggy's helpin' the Cheesemeister, so it'll be okay.

PANSI!!!!!!!: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO HELL IN A HAM BISKIT!!!!!! YOU REALLY ARE!!!!!!!

2012-02-18T08:12:00.001-07:00

Well! I half to say that it is abbot time that Mrs. Weirdso got her act Toggether and startid folloing me!!!! ~Pansi!!!!

Dr. Doo-Doo's New Farmacy Assistant

2012-01-26T17:11:00.000-07:00

Ah guess some people like those "open relationships," but Ah just don't understand it! When Ah asked Doo Doo Girl if she was worried about Dr. Doo Doo working long hours with his sexy new pharmacy technician Mary Jane, Doo Doo girl just said "What?" Like she didn't even understand what there was to be concerned about!

Ah just don't understand how she can be so casual about it! Ah would not want mah man workin' all the time with some sex-pot!

--Aubvey

Aubvey and the Gold Faucet

2012-01-01T14:13:00.000-07:00

Will Billy give Aubvey the coveted Gold Faucet for a song, or will he demand something more?

Aubvey Crazy for Billy Mays' Plumbing

by Dirty Dan

Red Green and Sealo were installing a new door on Aubvey's suite, and one of the hinges broke. Red asked Aubvey if she'd mind very much going over to Billy's Place, the home improvement division at Hal's Club, to pick up a hinge.

Aubvey headed over to Billy's place. While she was waiting for Billy to finish working with his last customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet. She very much wanted to have that glorious faucet in her bathroom.

When Billy came over, Aubvey asked him: “Billy, Sugar Plum', how much is that faucet?”

Billy replied in his unique, booming voice: “That’s a gold plated faucet, Aubvey, Darling, and the price is $500,000,000 Quatloos.”

"Oh mah," Aubvey sighed sadly. "Oh, mah, mah, mah. Mah goodness, that is a very expensive faucet. It’s certainly out of mah price bracket in this deplorable economy."

Aubvey then proceeded to describe the hinge that Red Green had sent her to buy. Billy was familiar with that type of hinge and went into the storeroom to get one.

From the storeroom Billy called: “Aubvey, do you wanna screw for the hinge?”

Aubvey paused for a moment and then shouted back: “No, Billy, but Ah will for the faucet.”

--Dirty Dan

2011-12-19T02:50:00.001-07:00

http://ping.fm/jvV1A Yes! ~Brittney~ brittneybarbee metallica

2011-12-19T02:10:00.001-07:00

Cheese mistress! How menny time's must I tell you if you just tell pepul not to ware CLOSE you wood not half to iron SHIRTS! pansibarbee

2011-12-19T00:56:00.001-07:00

Check out The Ronettes – Be My Baby http://ping.fm/Kh5Ym via @lastfm So, like, this is for my totally amazing husband Dr. Doo Doo or something! doodoogirl

2011-12-19T00:52:00.001-07:00

Check out The High Llamas – Homespin Rerun http://ping.fm/Vtjvm via @lastfm Woah! Like...totally awesome and stuff! drdoodoo

2011-12-19T00:48:00.001-07:00

Check out George Harrison – Wah-Wah http://ping.fm/XkdtK via @lastfm Step aside, you idiots! George is a personal friend and I'm playing this! brittneybarbee