“Do unto others…”Ahh, that classic aphorism on living a good life. Yet so many of us, particularly in business and sales, have decided to rewrite its ending.

We think, “Do unto others before they do unto us.” As if this zero sum logic could possibly excuse any self-serving action we take to close a sale.

Or even worse, we think, “Do unto others so those others will owe us in the future.” For example, I know several business owners who have bluntly told me that they refuse to do business with others who do not return the favor.

Why? What’s the point? If I buy a Ford, should I expect the CEO of Ford (or even the dealership owner) to come knocking on my door for consulting when sales are down?

This tit for tat mentality is great when you own the only general store in town. But in this online age, people have options. What’s the benefit of pressuring them into patronizing your services? What’s the upside of limiting your own options?

I’m all about building relationships with your clientele – but blatantly expecting some kind of reciprocal backscratching concerns me. In fact, I think it can be harmful to both parties. No one should have to feel pressured into a choice rather than have the ability to choose freely. No one should be so shortsighted as to slight another business owner who may be able to help them in the future. And no one should be arrogant enough to think that their reputation and brand – let alone their product or service – is so shiny that it deserves automatic reciprocity.

Bottom line – you want my business? Earn it. Not by buying other people’s loyalty through patronage or peer pressure. Earn it by providing a great product or a great service. That’s the mark of a truly confident – and great – business person.

We all know that lying is bad for business.

Lying to your customers can wreck your reputation. Lying to your employees can lead to unhappiness (which leads to shoddy products and poor service). And being on the receiving end of lies is just as bad for the bottom line.

But the worst kind of lies are the ones you tell yourself.

Like thinking that what’s worked for you in the past will work again. That it’s not your fault. That it’s not your problem. That someone else will fix it. If only you had better people. If only the economy weren’t bad. If only the market appreciated and recognized your genius.

Face up to the truth. Examine your business and think real hard about what’s not working and why.

If people keep asking you the same questions about your brand and product over and over, consider the possibility that the fault doesn’t lie within that segment of the general populace. That your staff is pissed off for a reason – and that reason is your responsibility. That maybe being the boss means you have to actually show up.

As a business consultant, my job isn’t to provide stock answers. My job isn’t to run your business. My job is to bring perspective and clarity to your operations, sales, and branding. To help you face the realities of your situation.

Because lies can ruin your brand. But the truth will also set you free.

Revolution and change. If I’ve learned anything in business, it’s that success doesn’t come from being too comfortable.

Success is a result of revolution and change. The constant search for improvement. The desire for revelation.

Does change come from greater discipline and self-control or is it a random self-defining moment born of a succession of coincidences and circumstance?

As a consultant, this process is extremely difficult to analyze and each person responds to change or being asked to change in different ways. Sometimes we can determine if a client is a good fit up front and establish a game plan quickly. Sometimes it takes 6 weeks of meetings to truly understand what the game plan is.  Sometimes the revolution is quick and bloodless and sometimes it’s a decade-long siege.

As a consultant, it’s my job to effect change. To bring the revolution, however big or small may be needed. But revolution is a whole lot easier (and more successful) when everyone is ready for it.

The only disability in business is a bad attitude.

Most business owners I know are results-driven – if the work gets done, who cares how the person doing it feels? It doesn’t matter how things get done as long as they get done. Productivity means profits, right?

But a dysfunctional workplace environment can cost you – according to this Harvard Business Review blog, reduced creativity, low morale, and increased turnover all result from workplace bullying. Which affects the bottom line. After all, unhappy employees are probably going to focus more of their energy (what’s left of it) on complaining or finding another job than performing to the best of their abilities.

Culture comes from the top down. If you don’t value your employees’ welfare and morale, how can you expect them to value your bottom line? As the business owner, you need to set the tone for your team. By being involved, you’ll be able to nip any symptoms of dysfunction in the bud before they become raging epidemics that affect your entire organization.

If someone on your team is unhappy, for whatever reason, you need to address the situation quickly. Doing so allows everyone to stay focused on your organization’s bottom line rather than getting distracted by interpersonal difficulties. While this may seem an easy enough task – anyone can identify a bully or a troublemaker, after all – it can be difficult when the “bad seed” is respected worker whose goals no longer align with yours.

Your employees deserve to be valued for the contributions they make to your business. But your business also deserves employees who value the work they do.

If you want to succeed, you have to be “all in.” And you need your team to be “all in” as well. And anything that disrupts your employees’ ability to be all in is something that disrupts your bottom line.

The sales process never ends. The cold calls, the networking, the prospecting – it (hopefully) gets easier with time, but it doesn’t end.

As a business owner, you have to accept that reality. But many of us don’t. Maybe you’re caught up in work you’ve already closed and need to fulfill. Maybe you started working for yourself because you wanted to get paid for doing something you loved – and you don’t love sales. Whatever it is, most of us aren’t out there selling enough.

I spoke with a young entrepreneur recently who had a ton of questions about growing his business and even more ideas of how to get his name and brand out there. Funny thing is, none of those ideas involved picking up the phone or asking someone directly for their business.

I’m all for having a strong consistent brand, but it can’t replace direct selling – pounding the pavement and knocking on doors. A website and blog, a Twitter account, a snazzy leave behind or schwag gift – they’re all great marketing tools but that’s all they are. Tools that need to be wielded thoughtfully and judiciously.

Like everything else, you need to strive for balance. You can’t reach sales goals by marketing alone – you have to actually sell. This means, yes, making cold calls when you have to. And yes, going out to as many networking events as you can.

Because the best way to get your name out there is to get your face out there as well. So what are you doing to reach out and touch someone today?

When to say no? I don’t know about you, but I’m having a pretty busy 1Q so far – lots of meetings and a number of opportunities for both my staffing and consulting businesses. With the downturn in the economy (and subsequent downturn in the bottom line), my instincts are to say yes to every opportunity.

Because you never know what doors a “yes” will open up. But my people sometimes think differently – they want to say yes to the right opportunity. We’ve had a number of discussions about this as an organization – when to say yes and when to say no.

Here’s an example – As an operations-based consultant, I’m known for holding my clients accountable. After all, what is the value of a plan of attack that’s not executed? My end goal is to make sure my client is successful – their success adds to my bottom line.

I’m not in the business of pipe dreams – I’m in the business of progress. And progress is only the result of

effort. But what if, for whatever reason, a client doesn’t want to put in the effort?

As a consultant, I’m here to serve my client. I have no problems rolling up my sleeves and helping out to make sure things get done when needed. But sometimes that crosses the line from consulting into actually running their business. Which is fine until I’m spending all my time running their business instead of running my own. At what point do you say enough is enough? When is your time better spent elsewhere?

This is what I’ve been discussing internally in my own organization. We only have so much time and so many resources – how do we make the best use of them? How do we qualify an opportunity? When do we fire clients?

So what do you think – when do you say no?

Listen and learn. It’s one of those things that people preach but most don’t practice. Yet it’s one of the simplest and most effective sales techniques out there.

Think about the last call you received from a telemarketer. I bet the other person on the line waited for you to say that yes, you were the person in charge and then they were off and running. Because telemarketers know that as soon as they give you time to respond, you’ll have time to say “No.”

Don’t you just hate that? Yet so many of us in sales and business act the exact same way in a face to face meeting.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my career as an entrepreneur and small business consultant, it’s that all too often no one listens in meetings. People just wait silently until it’s their turn to speak.

How many of you go out to meet a new prospect and just listen? I mean, really listen. As in, focus totally on what the other person is saying – not just with their words but with their body language, the pitch of their voice – and try to understand what’s important to them.

Are they having a bad day? Maybe you should ask how things are and empathize a little. They’ll remember that you cared. Are they fidgeting? Maybe they have a tight schedule and need to be somewhere else, or maybe they’re just bored. Wrap things up and don’t waste their time.

No one wants to buy from a telemarketer because they’re not offering anything we’re interested in. And we’re not interested because they don’t know what’s important to us – they haven’t listened.

Here are 3 good questions to ask yourself to make sure you’re actually listening -

1. Talk less than the person you’re talking to.
2. Ask more questions.
3. Talk less than the person you’re talking to. (It bears repeating.)

Bottom line – listening is key to establishing a good relationship with a (potential) client. So shut up already.

Like many small businesses that have survived the economic crisis of the last 2 years, we’re concentrating heavily on sales in the beginning part of 2010, particularly in my staffing firm, Macula Group.

There are plenty of books, blogs, and experts out there giving advice on selling so I’ll let you decide what works for you. My attitude is to just do it.

There’s no magic. There’s no method. Pick up the phone and make a call. Go out and meet someone. Just do it.

And follow up. If there is any magic in selling, it’s all in the follow up. Being persistent. The best salesperson is not a smooth-talking schmoozer – it’s the person who doesn’t give up. The person who knocks on the next door even though the last one got slammed on his face.

You don’t need to get a win every time. You just need to keep running until you do.

My name is Michael DeCarlo and I am addicted to Twitter. There, I admit. It blows my mind that a year ago this time, I had no idea what a tweet was or why I needed to do it.

I have a Twitter account for my work as a business consultant (@businessmike) and one for my personal training business (@maxpowernow). It’s allowed me to connect with others inside and outside of my local community, and I’ve gotten a number of leads and business opportunities from it.

However, I am not on Facebook. (Max Power has a fan page but it’s updated periodically by my team, who have their own personal accounts.) A lot of people in my various networking groups tell me I should be on Facebook but so far I’ve resisted.

But it’s free! And Facebook’s fastest growing demographics are the 35+ crowd! You’re missing out on key target markets! they tell me.

But it doesn’t work for me. I simply don’t have time for it. And as a small business owner and entrepreneur, time is

my most precious commodity. Yes, social media is a rapidly growing field. There’s a great deal of untapped opportunity there.

But it’s not the end-all be-all. Someday soon, a corporate Twitter account will probably be a must-have, like corporate Web sites are now. But you shouldn’t make the mistake of thinking that setting up an account with the social media flavor of the month will automatically increase your market share, generate leads, bring in sales, and solve all your problems.

Just like a Web site is only one component of your marketing, social media is only a tool. In order for it to pave the way for your success, you must know how to use it and be able to use it well. And you have to know if it’s even the proper tool to use in the first place.

Should you be on Twitter and Facebook? Only you can decide that for yourself and your business.