nickilosophy.

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 15:55:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 02:35:00 +0000

Maturity is a journey we take to discard our inner inhibitions.

I'm still young.

The stories we have yet to share

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 04:14:00 +0000

Single conversations with another often entitle us to a glimpse, or more, to the concealed narratives of one's life. There is a special quality in speaking to another individually that stands out from all other types of conversations - it pulls us along a path less travelled, where we find it more comfortable to speak about the intimate details of our lives without the usual accompanying baggage of conflicting emotions and self-consciousness.

Nestled within us are myriad subplots and storylines that we often do not share with others. Sometimes, these personal stories come into conflict with our public personae, or they could reflect weaknesses that we prefer to keep under wraps. That is why these stories often reside along the path of greatest resistance in common dialogues, I guess.

But human nature is capricious. There are moments where we feel more vulnerable, or moments where we are more inclined to open up. These are the unpredictable times when two persons find their relationship transformed in a fundamental and entirely unexpected way to become something more, something deeper.

In that case, it might be true that the greatest relationships are formed not because of similarities, but in spite of them; and that circumstances are sometimes a greater determinant than commonalities.

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 12:16:00 +0000

End it soon, so all can start anew.

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 16:07:00 +0000

Dear ankle,
PLEASE RECOVER BY MONDAY.

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 09:41:00 +0000

And the angst ebbs and flows in periods, resembling the tides of waves.

I need to court the favour of Lady Luck once more.

DAMN.

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 07:55:00 +0000

Just attended some NDP celebration at work, and somehow it's making me MISS SCHOOL A LOT.

Still remember the times where we sang the ndp songs freely and loudly and continuously.

HMM. nvm. maybe i can get ayc to do that!

NDP Songs

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 15:47:00 +0000

This year's NDP Theme Song is terrible ><

But I was struck by the Electrico's insightful response to the mixed reviews - that even if their song is not well-received, at the very least it has provoked a national debate about the nature of NDP Theme Songs, and that through this discussion a better song might be produced next year.

Anyway, here are some of my favourite NDP songs:

FAVOURITE!

HAHA AND THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 13:18:00 +0000

We keep dreaming of having the things we think we truly deserve, when in fact we have already been blessed with many things we barely deserve.

Learn to appreciate.

A gale, a door, and a change

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 01:10:00 +0000

A temporal gale swept past the landscape of my life, and its impassioned touch on the bleak and desolate scene that was has coaxed the verdant plethora to mushroom into life. I guess it's a lot like those special effects you always see on Disney, after a rainfall in a desert where the flora and fauna start to magically 'poop' into existence.

This week has been exciting thus far! It started with Monday when I went to play L4D with Den and Gloria, Marcus and Felly. Looking back, I'm quite amused at these first meetings with the scouties' girlfriends, because our choice of activities have never been conventional. It was fishing and kelong with Gloria, and killing zombies with Felly. haha I'm already looking forward to meeting the next girlfriend!

Tuesday was spent catching up with HouseD after a one-month hiatus. So now all the girls are officially or unofficially bound to a pact that originally only applied to Shi Hua, and I can't wait to see what happens when their first term is over (: On a side note, I'm also not sure what brought about this sudden curiosity about my past love interests, and I had to expertly finesse their questions for a while (reminds me of a Jiening-Lynette ambush a few months back ><). It was draining, to say the least. I guess I'm just not comfortable with talking about the fluffy past. In any case, being the nice HouseD mate that I am, I have promised to keep them abreast of future 'updates' (:

The past is a door I have turned my back on.

Wednesday had me tying up the loose ends for the AYC video. I never realised how exhausting it will be to work on a 2.5min Flash video animation on a weak laptop. Damn, I need my MacBook Pro. But yea, now it's left with the audio, which is another problem by itself.

It was cycling to Changi Beach on Thursday, and I saw Joseph with his army guys sitting on the grass along the way. 2 hours later, they were still there. They have my sympathies.

And today! Finally, the Friday Sports are back!

Alright, the unexciting account of my exciting half-week is finally done.

In our lives, there are experiences and occasions which change us in a profound way, but rarely do we have the opportunity to be conscious of the change. But when it does come, do savour it. It is a feeling like no other.

On Scholarship Bonds

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 01:30:00 +0000

I just read this amazing article, Once Bonded, which is written by an ex-scholar on scholarship bonds. It is a highly recommended to anyone who is considering taking up scholarships. I can still remember desperately looking for a critical review on the aforementioned topic after As, and I'm glad one has surfaced even though it appeared long past my decision-making period. Even then, it's still an insightful read.

And after reading it, I become more convinced that the choice I made is the right one.

The purple that isn't

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:37:00 +0000

Because I saw this written somewhere (and took it down) and thought it uncannily similar to some of the thoughts I have before.

And because it means something.

Life is like a mosaic that appears to be a harmonious image only when viewed from afar. Up close, you see more details and the picture gets patchier and less continuous. If you come even closer, it becomes obvious that the entire picture consist of countless little stones. Something that looked like a fold in a purple coat turns out to be a series of red and blue squares placed together in a wild pattern, blending into a single shimmering colour only from a distance. And if you lean in close so that the tip of your nose nearly touches the mosaic, the picture disappears altogether. Only its components, the iridescent little stones, fill your field of vision. It is no longer possible to figure out what they mean.
~vaguely remember the book being called something like 'the pulse of time'

Growing up

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 17:25:00 +0000

Growing up means learning how to let go of your ideals one by one, and to accept things as they are.

That's what everyone thinks.

But what if growing up actually means searching for the singular ideal that will define your life?

We are not simply discarding our ideals; we are just looking for that something - that one thing - that will bring us love and happiness.

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 13:20:00 +0000

pleasefindthis.blogspot.com is quite an interesting blog. do check it out!

They want me. I want you. And you want someone else. But none of us want to turn around.
~pleasefindthis.blogspot.com

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 04:06:00 +0000

Deep down, I'm just another guy who gets tongue-tied when caught in those awkward situations.

Maybe things will get simpler.

Maybe.

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 14:07:00 +0000

No more.

Just melancholy, and perhaps a touch of bittersweet.

The Street Lawyer

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 01:37:00 +0000

As I lay on my bed reading John Grisham's 'The Street Lawyer', I began to question.

I began to question whether being a lawyer is what I really want to do. I start to think about the dreams and goals I have in life, and why I want to achieve them. Of course, thoughts of lighter density did surface as well – things like the potentially disastrous marriage pairings of lawyer-doctor and lawyer-lawyer, as provoked by the depictions in the story. I guess these are considerations that most of us (lawyers and doctors-to-be) have long acknowledged and understood, but somehow reading the book brought about a need for greater and deeper reflection.

Doctors have to place their patients before everyone and everything else – and that includes family and spouse. Lawyers have to place their clients before all else, if they are serious about being a lawyer. How do these pairings work out? What if, one day, one of the couple experiences the most traumatic experience of his or her life, only to be told that his or her spouse couldn't get away from work – well, you know, emergency operations or a boss with a bad day can certainly do that. As much as we try to be understanding towards one another, even patience has a limit. Can the relationship survive through the friction due to the couple's hectic lifestyles? Can the relationship survive with so little time spent with each other? I guess some may deride these concerns as pessimistic or narcistic, but a more thoughtful excavation of these questions will uncover the fact that all healthy relationships have to be selfish in some ways.

Regarding my future, I wonder if my social conscious would not be whittled down by the harsh and unforgiving grindstone that accompanies a lawyer's career. After all, a quintessential aspect of work includes billing hours (almost mercenarily) to charge clients with – and these are superficial counters we are talking about, which literally trade one's health for more wealth.

Of course, I can always look towards being the writer that I have always dreamed of becoming, but that bears even greater uncertainty.

Could I somehow find a balance between being a lawyer and leading a meaningful life? I am quite sure that there are lawyers out there who have done so, and I hope that if I were to become one in the future, I will not let this appetite for a meaningful outlook in life be consumed by a deleterious diet of materialism.

And the question remains: what do I want to do?

A swirl of thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 05:39:00 +0000

Lately, life has stilled and thoughts have stalled, but the patterns and the swirls – they are still there. It would have made everything simpler if those things were decipherable, but I guess that's what life is all about, isn't it? If there were no mystery, there would be no intrigue. And I'm the kind of person who loves intrigue. So I shall strive on, and await the moment of epiphany. The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph! Wow, I sound like such a 'half-glass full' person.

Class outing at ECP was pretty fun, though I miss having Yijing, Lijian and Choon Wing around. Oh, and I just thought of an analogy to describe classmates and class! We are like bees - drifting away from the hive to pursue our own pollens and dreams. When an episode of our adventures is concluded, we return to our exclusive enclave and share stories of the things we have done and the things we have failed to do. In time, the nomadic spirit kicks up within us and we embark on our different journeys once more, armed with greater knowledge of the world, stronger friendships to rely on, and the quiet conviction that distance will make our hearts grow fonder. In fact, this can be applied to my other special groups of friends too (:

Conversations with classmates were unexpectedly weighty at times. One of them was on cynicism. haha it got quite funny at one point when I made a comment that intelligent people tend to be cynical, and, as a result, are pessimistic too. Immediately, a friend nearby enthusiastically claimed that she was full of cynicism and pessimism, thus she must be smart too!

Another topic was on love (surprise, surprise), or, more specifically, on whether love can last (eh, it wasn't me who started it). Immediately, there was a chorus of opinions on how love can NEVER last, leaving me marooned in this island of pessimism. True, I agree that passionate love, at least, is difficult to sustain (Note that the word is 'difficult' – it isn't 'impossible'). Yes, there will definitely be fatigue in the relationship: we will get tired of coming up with surprises, we will get tired of thinking of gifts, we will, truly, get very tired of planning for other meaningful activities with each other, and we may (cross your fingers) even get tired of one another. Yes, tell me all about it. But I also know – from personal experiences, from coming up with surprises after surprises and gifts after gifts for special friends, from planning get-togethers after get-togethers for cherished groups, and from thinking up spontaneous activities after activities – that it is possible to sustain such efforts, which does go a long way in exciting and deepening relationships. It is all about commitment (on your part) and cooperation (getting support from people around).

I guess the stage of passionate loving in a relationship is also frequently known as 'infatuation', and such a phenomenon surfaces because both parties are so intrigued by each other. I want to find out more about you; I want to understand your thoughts; I want to know what makes you feel sad or happy. It is this inherent desire to learn more about each other that makes this initial stage of a relationship the most exciting and unforgettable. In that case, it is true that after some time of knowing one another, the passion may fade... but that doesn't mean the relationship will become stagnant. It may not be passionate love, but it can still be exciting love! Slip a love poem into her pencil case when she's not aware; make up the most random excuses to bring her out; celebrate made-up days i.e. 'Today is the 279th-day-since-I-first-fell-in-love-with-you Day so here are 279 roses'; learn to cook her favourite dish; make a mixtape of her favourite songs and pass it to her outside her home at midnight... and the list goes on. How can anyone say that love can never last when there are such endless and enchanting possibilities?

Ok, maybe it's because I'm still 'evergreen' (haha go find out about the coloured lights from the NUS Union Camp, it's damn amusing) so I might not understand about the 'reality' of relationships. But I have always felt that it all boils down to choices. Impossible is just a big word small men tag to things too big for them. We just have to believe (with some blessings from Lady Luck) in it, and give the ideal a chance.

Finally, here is a very enlightening quote from Bruce Lee on love:

Love is like a friendship caught on fire.
In the beginning a flame,
Very pretty, often hot and fierce
But still only light and flickering.
As love grows older, our hearts mature
And our love becomes as coals,
Deep burning and unquenchable.

To end this post off, I would just like to say one thing:
I would rather be a hopeful fool of love, than a hopeless cynic of love.
And I hope that, given the same choices, you would choose to be the same. (:

Dream On - Preview

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:06:00 +0000

After days of hardwork, I present to you... 'Dream On'!

Really like this template a lot. Spent a lot of time just thinking about how to distill some of the things that make me me onto a template, and I think 'Dream On' captures them very well :D

It's still incomplete though - can probably wrap up the loose ends and finish the coding part by this weekend.

Btw, if you happen to notice the 'Powered by Tumblr' at the bottom of the preview, it's because I will be changing host from Blogger to Tumblr soon. Tumblr has quite a few cool functions, and, more importantly, it is more code-friendly! Yup, just serving an advance notice.

Anyway, let me know what you think! Good, bad, and the ugly - all comments are welcomed (:

Our Story

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 12:03:00 +0000

A common history will allow us to know a person, but it will not help us understand him or her. For that to happen, there has to be an exchange of narratives.

Deep down inside, everyone understands this. We understand that a person we have known for many years, even if it's for our entire lives, may remain a stranger to us. We understand that a relationship is not about how much time we have spent together, but rather it is about how much of our life story we have shared. We also understand that when it comes to getting to know a person, time and commitment can never substitute for providence and chemistry.

We understand all these things, but yet we remain rooted to the spot, immobilized by the trappings of society's standards and perceived beliefs. We remain complacent by our common history and, after some time, stopped sharing stories of our lives. We allow our relationship to be dictated by society's 'invisible hand' instead of our own hearts and minds.

Just look: Popular culture champions the notion that a guy who talks to a girl frequently and looks into her eyes when speaking is interested in her. Yet, most of the time it could be an interest to become better friends or simply basic courtesy or a combination of both. Somehow, somewhere along a crooked line of our lives, reel has become real, and because of this, we let something creep between us and the common space we used to share is no longer.

Even so, it's not too late. In fact, nothing is ever 'too late'. I have always thought that the phrase 'too late' suffers undeserved abuse by people. From words describing situations that ran out of possibilities, this phrase has now become a well-worn excuse that people use carelessly to apply to any other situation.

But back to my point that it's not too late. It's not too late, because as long as we are aware of the change we can make to a wayward friendship just by simple actions, as long as we are aware of the boundless possibilities that await every dormant relationship and are willing to step out of our comfort zone, we can still change the ending of our story. We can still make a difference, by sharing our stories. It doesn't have to be Romeo and Juliet (ok, bad example - forget about the romance part), it can still become a fairytale of our choice.

Think about the people who used to be able to light up your day with just a smile, or lift the burden in your heart by lifting your hand. Think about how things have fallen apart, but keep faith that things can fall back into shape. Think about these things and forget about the worries, fears and anxieties.

It's time to bring these cherished people back into the plot.
Let's do so by bringing them to the page where the story of our lives is unfolding.

Wait For Me

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 14:19:00 +0000

You are not alone tonight
Imagine me there by your side
It's so hard to be here so far away from you
I'm counting the days till
I'm finally done
I'm counting them down, yeah, one by one
It feels like forever till I return to you
But it helps me on those lonely nights
It's that one thing that keeps me alive

[Chorus:]
Knowing that you wait for me
Ever so patiently

No one else knows the feeling inside
We hang up the phone without saying goodnight
Because it's the sound of your voice that brings me home
It's never been easy to say
But it's easier when I've gone away

[Chorus:]
Knowing that you wait for me
Ever so patiently
Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and
It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me

[Bridge:]
What I'd give
What I'd do
Knowing I'm not there for you
Makes it so hard to leave
What I'd give
What I'd do
Anything to get me home to you
And this time I'll stay

And you wait for me
Ever so patiently
Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and
It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 13:34:00 +0000

You know, there are so many things I really, really want to do.

But sometimes, I just want to forget about everything and feel the texture of time through my fingers.

Is it procrastination?

Or is it something else?

And then, there are times when I can get so excited about everything, and wish for that moment to become a never-ending continuum.

Is it wishful thinking?

Or is it something else.

the old and the new

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 00:21:00 +0000

Work has started for my new template! It's actually quite exciting haha

Anyway, I found a treasure trove of my old templates recently. It's actually quite interesting to deconstruct the perspectives, thoughts and ideas that used to make up my self and identity. After all, every new template is often a manifestation of contemporary inspiration and desired expression.

Alright, shall have a mini 'hall of fame' when my latest is done!

Think Long-Term

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 06:42:00 +0000

If we ask a kid, “What are you doing?” the response you will get is something like “playing”, “reading”, “watching TV”, etc. The time horizon for kids is very short. If we ask “What do you do in school?” again the response will be about what they will do on that particular day in the school.

When we grow up, unfortunately (for most of us) the time horizons don’t extend very far. When we ask, “What do you do?” to someone, most often the response will be related to their job and their role in the company. Very rarely, will you hear a passionate answer about how someone is going to change the world. Very rarely will you hear an answer that will cover the time horizon of a lifetime.

I continue to believe that we are becoming a world of “short-term thinkers”. My good friend Vallal told me a few months ago that “we overestimate what we can achieve in a day and we underestimate what we can achieve in a year”. This is so true. Take a look at some of your daily “to-do” lists. Very rarely will you check off everything you planned to do that day. Now take a look at your annual plan (if you don’t have one, please create one right way) and see if that’s the best you can do in a year. You will be amazed at what all you can pack in a year with some discipline and commitment.

We can distinguish ourselves just by refusing to give in to the temptation of “short-term results”. Next time, when someone asks “what do you do?” think of your lifetime as the time horizon and try to answer the question. Again, if you have not thought this through, please don’t try to answer this question in the next few minutes (short-term) as it may take awhile to figure this out (long-term).

Rajesh Setty

noreply@blogger.com (unickque) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 02:07:00 +0000

Man is often found wistful - wishing for the hopeful future to become a harmonious conception of regretful pasts. Everyone lives through life carrying an ever-enlarging baggage of regrets, and for every opportune occasion which we let go, it will only get heavier. Regrets and failures can be seen as brethren terms, for regret often follows after failure.

Failure, as I see it, is the lack of courage to do something you actually want.

And is it not true that life is not about how many successes we have achieved, but, rather, it is about how few failures we have committed?