Again, we can’t thank you enough for all the jokes you’ve written that we will be slightly modifying and rebranding as our own. Honestly, this makes our lives so much easier.

So, as many of you might already know, as part of Conan’s agreement with NBC he can’t host another show for at least 7 months. That’s funny, that’s the same amount of months that he’s hosted the Tonight Show. That’s how showbiz works right? Anyway, since Conan is contractually bound to spend “more time with his family” (a.k.a. casual encounters on craigslist…for money!), this gives a chance to shine!

It’s been a while since we’ve posted. We’re back from vacation, we’re not tan but our brains are indeed fried. That’ll make for some great funnies!

Starting next week look for some spiffy new content and let this mark the rise of the Peach! Like so many phoenix’s from the ashes so shall the Niente Peach tree burst forth from the ground!

See you all very soon!

Credits

Written by: Ernie Zahn

Article Cover Photo from Hulu

Viewing this outside if Niente Peaches? Have a look here!

Here we are on Miro.

With Miro you can subscribe to us and watch us in HD and take us wherever you want via iPod, laptop etc. But please, wherever you take us, let it be somewhere cool like a VIP room at a club. Watching us in a lame place like a Greyhound bus will just bring us both down the social latter. We simply ask that you show your friends our videos in the hippest places possible. Not so much to ask since only awesome people watch our videos!

Also, subscribe now and be the first to see our Shakira tribute!

Tah for now. See you soon!

Credits

Written by Qua Qua Parfait

Article Cover by Ernie Zahn

http://www.nientepeaches.com/

http://www.youtube.com/nientepeaches

Pretty sweet, right? Well, since Shakira has accepted our friend request we would like to send her a thank you. We don’t have an address and her agent won’t return our calls so we’re going to throw together a Niente Peaches tribute video! We figure since she loves our videos so much, she’s bound to see it right? Hey maybe she’ll want join the Niente Peaches crew!

While we cook that up, stay tuned for another behind the scenes clip coming up soon!

Shakira-Shakira!

Credits

Written by: Ernie Zahn

Viewing this outside if Niente Peaches? Have a look here!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ERD2e54HXA

It’s hard to tell what’s going on in this scene but that’s part of the wonder of it all! Keeping you guessing is what we aim for because the way we see it, at least you’re thinking about us! But seriously, this clip was from the first day of the last summer (summer ‘09) of shooting for Charlie Christ. We’re still plugging away but we have so much behind the scenes stuff to show you that we decided to provide this little sneak peak! Subscribe to us here: http://www.youtube.com/user/NientePeaches and you’ll be sure to receive some new and juicy updates. Yummm, I can taste their creamy goodness now. Want a bite? Here’s that link again!: http://www.youtube.com/user/NientePeaches What’s the matter with you? Click already!

Credits

Written by: Ernie Zahn

Article Cover by: Ernie Zahn

Co-Produced and Directed by: Tom Stroll

Co-Produced and Edited by Ernie Zahn

Photograph by Ben Gawle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgo0CDL6bd0

Discover more at NientePeaches.Com!

Credits

Written by: Sir Rutherford Welch

Article Cover by: Ernie Zahn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Wd-Q3F8KM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDEKYUQRV24&feature=related

Credits

Written by: Sir Rutherford Welch

Article Cover by: Ernie Zahn

You usually find the best chuckle of the week in the form of a drunk cat or a guy falling off a moving car etc. but you rarely find it in software tutorials. Well there’s a real life Martin Prince out there and he’s hosting Final Cut video tutorials. Who’s Martin Prince?:

Martin Prince of The Simpsons

and

“Oh. The gentle caress of the summer breeze.”

Okay. So here’s that real life Martin Prince:

The Defenestrations of Prague (1419):
A series of arguments between traditional figures in government and religion, specifically within the new, extremist Hussite sect, led to a spate of incidences in which government officials were hurled to their deaths through windows. One of these figures was the town’s judge, on burgomeister, who has the dubious distinction of being defenestrated and having a hilarious title. No one knows why they kept hosting the meetings on like the 5th floor.

Italian Invasion of Greece (1940)
Mussolini, Italian, and therefore jealous of Hitler’s conquest, basically begged Hitler for a chance to take over something in Europe. Hitler gave him Greece, at the time a holdout, significantly less developed than Greece and Italy, and not heavily populated. The Italians, previous holders of such distinctions as not being able to competently beat Ethiopia in a war, was unable to conquer Greece, got stuck in a retreat, and rode out the rest of the war in Albania. Italians lost 6 times as many men as the Greeks, despite their force being less than twice as large.

The 0th Crusade (1096)
The pope, at the time French, had been preaching a crusade to the French nobles. Somehow Peter the Hermit, a hermit, caught wind of this plan and spread it amongst the French peasantry. They got so riled up about this plan that a million of them decided to mill it the fuck up across Europe and go to Byzantium to help defend Byzantine pilgrims to the holy land from the Seljuk Turks. Imagine the look on the Emperor of Byzantium’s face when, instead of 10,000 knights, he gets a million clumsy peasants. Many of them were robbed and killed on the way to Byzantium. The remained were killed in Anatolia by the Turks.

Collapse of the Western Roman Empire (453)
An empire, already somewhat overextended economically, especially in terms of debt, fighting a long series of skirmishes, on very alien terrain, in Mesopotamia. In addition, they’re struggling at finding mercenaries in that region and have a tenuous grasp on the social situation at home. Debt is skyrocketing and cannot be controlled, and financiers and the government have gotten in cahoots and are stealing money from the people. Unemployment is high; the economy is in inflationary cycles. And somehow they were expecting to survive that.

Iraq War (2003-???)
An empire, already somewhat overextended economically, especially in terms of debt, fighting a long series of skirmishes, on very alien terrain, in Mesopotamia. In addition, they’re struggling at finding mercenaries in that region and have a tenuous grasp on the social situation at home. Debt is skyrocketing and cannot be controlled, and financiers and the government have gotten in cahoots and are stealing money from the people. Unemployment is high; the economy is in inflationary cycles. And somehow we were expecting to survive that.

Credits

Written by Daniel Younessi

Article Cover From Walt Disney’s Der Fuhrer’s Face

The Japanese Superfriends!

“Japan’s newly-elected Democratic Party (DPJ) has agreed to form a coalition with two smaller parties.”

The DPJ's Yukio Hatoyama is set to become Japan's next PM (Picture and Caption from BBC)

According to our Niente Peaches analysts, this party crossing co-operation will go down as yet another way that Japan upstages us in things we claim to be best at. This along with: baseball, jazz, electronics, hot dog eating and porn consumption. You’d think that’s the joke, but the funnier part is that it’s all true.

Greenspan Predicts We Will Suck With Money For Generations To Come!

Good news! Alan Greenspan tells us that the market will go to shit again. He explains that this will happen because industry has always been a varying entity since its inception and is known to take dips every so often. In related news, Greenspan recently bought a yacht for which he has dubbed himself Captain Obvious. He informed reporters that boats tend to float on water and so that’s where his boat will go.

The People of China Have Lives and We Have Video Games.

In China today, thousands of couples are heading to the hitching posts under the belief that getting married on 9/9/09 will have some superstitious value.

In Chinese, the words "nine, nine" sound the same as those for longevity (Picture and Caption from BBC)

In the U.S., record sales are anticipated for the release of The Beatles Rock Band. So let’s get this straight, for 9/9/09 thousands of people in China are getting with each other and we’re playing video games. Just wanted to clarify that.

Lisbon Judges are Trekkies

There’s something going on in Lisbon. It’s hard to tell but judging by the outfits, I’d say it’s a Star Trek convention.

Lisbon Judges (Picture from BBC)

"Q" from Star Trek

Iran’s Mushroom Cloud Soup

“Iran is moving closer to being able to make a nuclear bomb.” While this is the determination of the International Atomic Energy Agency,  Ahmadinejad insists that the nuclear resources are going toward developing a new kind of microwave oven for his forthcoming cooking show, starting this Fall on the Food Network .

Ahmadinejad's Lean, Mean, NUCLEAR POWERED, cookin' machine.

Enough of the fake stuff though. Here are the real stories:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8245483.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8244600.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8245765.stm

http://mashable.com/2009/09/09/beatles-rockband/

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8243636.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8246110.stm

Credits:

Written by: Ernie Zahn
Article Cover by: Ernie Zahn

Turkey and Armenia set for ties
In a move that baffles anyone who knows history, Turkey and Armenia has decided to set aside their differences to some extent and prepare for trade. I’m sure both parties are pleased, as the sale of Turkish yogurt and berries to Armenia will sufficiently gloss over the 1.5 million dead Armenians which Turkey had no part whatsoever in slaughtering.

Disney to buy Marvel in $4bn deal
Disney prepares to replace the dark, brooding feel of a classic series of comic books with bunny rabbits and clumsy anthropomorphic frogs, or something. I have to watch my mouth though, as I have fear that Disney will soon own this town, my house and all of its inhabitants.

Elderly skin ‘raises cancer risk’
I would have never guessed, as I always assumed that being old makes you healthier and less likely to die from things.

Africans ‘under siege’ in Moscow
Russian racists continue to abuse and attack the growing African population in Moscow, calling them violent, backward savages. I wonder if this has anything to do with Stalin having removed the word “irony” from Russian dictionaries in 1947.

Fight resumes over Iran cabinet
Hey, I thought problems in Iran ended when Michael Jackson died.

Thousands pelted at annual tomato festival
The tomato festival in the town of Buñol in Spain started when, in 1876, the entire town decided to put on a vaudeville show. The show was so notoriously awful that several members of the audience actually got horrific acid reflux disease from attending. The resulting backlash was one of the largest of its kind ever seen in Spain. There were flat hats and suspenders everywhere. As such, the people of the town decided to commemorate the event annually. However, the tradition of dragging people off with canes ended in 1927 when too many people started choking to death.

Read On!:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8230809.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8230158.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8230504.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8226129.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8230316.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8222816.stm

Credits:

Written by: Dan Younessi
Article Cover by: Ernie Zahn