I Have a Dream

‘I have a dream, a song to sing, to help me cope with anything.’ This is one of my theme songs in life. I have sung this song in auditions and it has gotten me thru. ‘And my destination, makes it worth a while, pushing thru the darkness, still another miles.’ When I was in sixth grade, I remember my dad encouraging me to listen to ABBA. ‘No I said, I don’t want to.’ I was stuck in the 90’s, but when I finally decided to at the end of my sixth grade year, my heart soared with love for these songs of ‘Mamma Mia, I have a dream, Super Trouper, Thank You for the Music’ and the list goes on and on. So naturally when they musical came in town I had to go. I have seen it from Broadway touring groups about five times and this was my sixth time seeing the show. I see it every time it comes to the theatres. I absolutely love this musical. If someone were to ask me what my favorite musical is it would be a toss up between Wicked and Mamma Mia.

Why do I love Mamma Mia so much? Perhaps it is because I love ABBA music, yes. Perhaps it is because I have fond memories of dancing to  these songs in seventh grade with my friends houses at sleepovers. But I think what may be most impressive, is how Benny and Bjorn (writers of ABBA) weaved all this music together and helped to create this musical from their music. Music that has nothing to do with a girl about to get married and looking for her birth father. For me, I think it hits home differently, it homes in a way that is more real than most because of its story line.

I was adopted at the age of six months to amazing parents from Seoul, South Korea. The idea of not knowing who your ‘father is, like in Mamma Mia is appealing to me. Like Sophie says when I meet him, I will know… I have that in my gut as well.

The particular version of Mamma Mia at the Ordway was especially appealing. As I mentioned before, I attend every performance of Mamma Mia I can and usually find every one of them enjoyable. This one was wonderful in the acting, singing, and dancing, but specifically the singing. If you have seen the movie version of Mamma Mia you know the men in that movie can’t sing to save their lives (no offense to Pierce Brosnan). These three ‘dads’ can all sing and their chemistry with both Sophie and Donna (the mom) and with each other are amazing. Robert Berdahl, Aloyisus Gigl, Dieter Bierbrauer all give outstanding performances that are believable that make you think that they are in fact Sophie’s dad.

There are several outstanding aspects about this version of Mamma Mia that make it particularly appealing.

1. Set design-The set made you believe you were in Greece on a beautiful ocean. It was huge and the use of staging within the set was particularly appealing to me.
2. ‘Under Attack’-The song ‘Under Attack’ is one of my favorites. They opened with this song in Act two where Sophie is having a nightmare. I loved how they used a backdrop screen and showed her having a nightmare in bed unable to sleep. They come out with her in a bed that looks like a jungle gym. As she sings she climbs up the bed as though she is scared. The whole time you can tell how frightened she is in the song. The song makes it particularly capturing when you see her mom and the three possible dads in bed together. I also love how they changed the lyrics to say ‘There’s on my track, three dads, one lover’ instead of ‘ He’s on my track, my chasing lover.’
3. ‘Slipping Through My Fingers’-This is a show stopping number. Sophie asks her mom to help her get into her wedding dress. Donna sings this song and I encourage you to look at the lyrics when you get a chance. Every parent around was teary eyed as they remember their child going off. I saw this show with my dad who first introduced me to ABBA. He said it was most compelling because he remembers his girl with her pink backpack going off to school for the first time with sleep in her eyes with precious time that goes by. Now I am not married, but the same idea is true. Time goes by. Sophie sings along the last verse with her mom and it is heartbreaking that time is slipping thru their fingers.
4. Chemistry of the three Dynamos-There is amazing chemistry between Donna and her two backup singers/best friends. Props to Christine Sherrill who plays Donna and her backup girls Ann Michels and Erin Schwab who play Tanya and Rosie. They play off each other well and work well as a team. You can tell they are truly best friends.
5. Finally last, but not least, I give huge props to Sophie Sheridan the leading lady Ms. Caroline Innerbichler. Caroline brought the house down. She made every audience member feel what she was feeling, her singing voice soared and filled the room, and she embodied the character of Sophie. I would go back to see this show again just to see Caroline’s interpretation of Sophie. She was the standout of the night and truly you can’t take your eyes off her as she embodied this character to a T. I have seen Caroline play other roles in the Twin Cities, but this was by far my favorite role for her.

Mamma Mia is a must see. At the end of the show, they sing three songs and all the audience is up on their feet singing along with them! 

I never thought of myself as a writer, yet alone a poet. This past winter, I got together with a writer friend who encouraged me to continue to write. I had recently finished my masters and was looking to my next project. I was feeling a little lost of what to do next. She encouraged me to write with this writing prompt: “I begin the day with…” I thought to myself what does that mean, but as I started writing a poem came out of me that had to be written. I literally wrote it within minutes. Months pass and my writer’s group is asking for poem submissions for poems for their magazine. I thought perhaps they might take my poem. My poem that is so personal, I would feel crushed if they didn’t. I hope they would. I submitted and sure enough it is in the May edition of magazine WINK. Living with Dystonia is so isolating and living with mitochondria myopathy is isolating. Few people understand what I go thru on a day-to-day basis. It is my hope that this poem gives people insight, grace, understanding, compassion, and love.

Here is the poem:

I began the day by trying to wake up.
My body says no. It doesn’t want to wake up.
Another 10 minutes of sleep? Please.
I roll over and look at my Fitbit app.
On. Sleep. It says I only got 7 hours of sleep.
7 hours? I was in bed for about 9 hours.
I rack my brain and realize that much of that was because I was up in pain.
My back hurt with back spasms.
My sciatica muscle pulled from my back to my legs caused tightness into my legs to hurt.
As I rolled in bed tossing and turning in the night, my neck spasmed in pain

as I tried to find a good position to be in.
Oh yeah I guess now it makes sense I only got 7 hours of sleep.
This is why I am tired.
I lie in bed and decide if I should go back to sleep and try to rest or get up.
I sleep for a few more minutes. I get up. Stretch my body.
Look at my phone. WOW 50 emails come thru my phone just in the evening itself.

Mostly junk. I realize that much of my life, I live with pain and thus making it difficult

and different than many of my peers. But, I guess it is okay. My life isn’t the same.
It sucks that my day begins not as I would like, and not like that of many of my friends my age.
Pain.
Spasms.
Headache.

What should I do? Should I take more medication?

Should I take cannabis? That might help, but also might impair my driving

and cognitive function for the day, but might ease the pain. Help!

I began the day in pain.
I end my day in pain.
I end my day thinking.
I end my day the way I start.
I end my day in bed with my phone,

looking at it saying I hope I can get closer to 8 hours of sleep tonight.
I end my day saying yes life sucks to have a disability, but I am grateful.
I end my day the way I woke up,

Saying, should I really go to bed now knowing that I am in pain?
I end my day trying to do something so that I can sleep.
Should I take medication so I can sleep better but knowing it might knock me out?

I end my day the way I began.

I began my day and I end my day with trying to search for more meaning and more love.

–Nikki Abramson

Since January 2017, my parents and I have been hooked on these runDisney races. runDisney puts on four races a year in Walt Disney World. They are themed from a January race which includes a marathon, a princess themed in February, a Star Wars themed in April, and a wine and dine theme in November. So far we have been to the marathon weekend, wine and dine, and now Star Wars themed races. They have been beyond magical for me. As someone with a disability who never could run or let alone think about running in a race, this would never be in my head. If someone would have asked me if I wanted to be in a 5k, I would have said “I am unable to.” Well in 2015, my pediatrician doctor asked me if I wanted to be in the race and she would push me in the wheelchair. It never occurred to me before. What?  Really? Sure, if you think your up for it. I never really thought I would imagine myself doing this until it happened. 2016 the timing didn’t work out, but January 2017 did and soon we were off. She encouraged my parents to sign up too and they replied with ‘They aren’t runners.’ After being there in January though it was empowering, moving, and encouraging. As we got talking the two families together, she encouraged my parents to sign up and soon both my mom signed up for the 5K and my dad as well. My dad also signed up for the 10K. We all joined them for the Wine and Dine in November 2017. Again it was magical being pushed in my wheelchair by my doctor and my dad.

Last weekend, my parents and I signed up for the Star Wars Dark Side. My mom, dad, and I ran the 5K together and my dad ran the 10K. It was magical. My dad and I wore Stormtrooper costumes that we bought and pieced together and my mom dressed as the dark side. My parents both out ran themselves and ran fast than their previous race, both of them nervous as before. For not being runners, they have trained to be runners. I am super proud of them.

What I have learned about myself? There are people in your life that want to give you the life that you imagined. From my parents to Dr. Busch. I can’t being to thank them. As someone with disability in a wheelchair, I would never thought it would be possible to run in the race. I got to wear this medal. Wearing the medal around my neck around the parks is one of the most proudest memories for me. It shows that I can be like others. It shows that even with my disability I can be seen. Sometimes I feel like I didn’t earn that medal like others do when they ran the race, but for me to get a running medal is beyond a gift that I can’t even thank enough. It is truly a gift that I will cherish that I did it. I sat in the cold. I got up early. I held  sweatshirts, phones, water bottles, and coffees for people. Yes, I may be sitting in the wheelchair, but I did it! I am grateful that I can participate in the runDisney races and they allow people to push people in wheelchairs. Thank you DISNEY for allowing this dream come true! We are excited to keep running together as a family and with the Busch family. This is just a magical gift. I can’t even say how much of a thrill it is to run these races. If you get the chance, I encourage you to do so as well.

The graduation cap-EDUCATOR
1. I earned my masters degree.
2. I am a life long learner.
3. I am an educator and teacher and always teaching others.

Theatre Masks-ACTOR
1. I love to act. Choreograph, but there is an innate ability in me to act. To be another person
2. I love theatre and theatre drives what I do.

Director Chair-DIRECTOR
1. I direct youth shows and choreograph for youth theatre.
2. I am also a teaching artist and teach youth art.

Writer’s Pen-AUTHOR
1. I am a published author of 2 books of mine own, a thesis, and 5 anthologies.
2. I am now a weekly colonialist for MNplaylist.org and this blog here.

Megaphone-SPEAKER AND MENTOR
1. I am a speaker and speak to various organizations on both inspirational topics, but also educational topics.
2. Megaphones also represent someone cheering someone on… like a mentor or coach and I mentor many youth and adults on in various areas of life.

Logos shape who we are. We often can look at a logo and say that is what it is. We see the Nike symbol and we know it is Nike. I want people to see my name and icons and know this is me, what I offer, and stand for.

Here’s the deal. Never would I thought would I care to be a writer, dream of writing, or call myself a writer. There was a writing after school ‘club’ I was a part of in 4th grade. We wrote short stories mostly fiction. I remember liking it, but not knowing what to write. There were people better at writing in the class than me and I remember thinking to myself, this is such an introverted activity, I don’t like not talking aloud to others. I stuck it out for the year. We had a small book that we published as a class of our short stories. I guess I just didn’t consider myself a writer…. at the time…

In high school, I joined the newspaper club. I wanted to report on various issues that were happening in the school. I remember enjoying interviewing others and writing about it. Again, it wasn’t a passion of mine, however. The stage was my passion, student government was my passion, and working with kids was and is my passion. I didn’t consider myself a writer… at the time…

Life happens and changes probably for a reason. Today I can proudly say that I am a columnist. I didn’t ever get into blogging. I had a blog for years and tried to blog here and there, but failed many times in keeping it up and consistent. I never really knew what to writer and would anyone actually read what I say? Well, I guess now with 2 books that penned, 5 anthologies, a thesis, I guess I can say I am writer. It is such a weird title. My writer’s group keeps telling me that I am a writer. I keep saying I am an author, but when you get to the point that you are paid to write I guess you are a writer. My last anthology I was paid and now I am the new News and Notes columnist for MNPlaylist, an MN based theatre organization. It is a weird feeling, but a proud feeling. Like I said, writing was something that came natural when I found my voice.

In high school I had to write many papers about what we read. I remember the 5 paragraph essay well. It was drilled in me. My freshmen year though I had a teacher that changed my life. She helped me to find my voice. Mrs. Jenn Edwards had us write about various topics from what we think of various issues to what we did that weekend on a weekly basis. It was on us to choose which ones we wanted to turn in. It was those creative non-fiction essays that I thrived on and that she helped me to find my voice. Since then, I loved to write. I never thought though that anyone would actually pay me to write or want to hear what I had to say. I thought I would have to be a John Grisham or something like that to be called a ‘writer.’

Every few weeks for the past several years, I look on Playlist for ads looking at what auditions are out, what shows are playing, what the reviews are, what is going on in MN theatre and what I should put my hopes and dreams in. I saw a posting about being a writer for MN Playlist. I thought to myself, what is there to loose? Just some time in emailing, a cover letter, and resume. I submitted this letter and next thing I know, I land myself this job writing for News and Notes on MN theatre for MNPlaylist. I am so grateful that my story comes full circle. You can find my first News and Notes here:

https://minnesotaplaylist.com/magazine/article/2018/listen

Because let’s face it that we all have challenges and I just want to provide some insight into how to walk through this challenges. Now, I still sell my book, but since then I wrote another book called “Hope for Today’ which came out last year as an inspirational coffee table book. All the daily reads came from days when I was at my lowest of low. Since then I was also in a total of 5 anthologies continuing to  write, spread my story, and change the world by people hearing what it is like to have a brain injury, to be a woman, to be a woman of color, the power of social media, and to go through a watershed moment. Part of me can’t believe my eyes when this happens. I never in my wildest dreams would want to write, yet let alone have 7 books to my name and 2 other that I am also a part of making my writing to 9 books out there. It is crazy to think about. My daily hope is that by having my story out there in such a tangible way whether it is thru my book or other people’s books that it may inspire and motivate others in their journey that they may see goodness in their situations even when life is hard. Life is hard for me daily. Living with disability has its challenges, being a woman of color has its challenges, but I know that one of the reasons I am here is to inspire others through the power of storytelling thus also having co-wrote a play about my life. Writing didn’t come naturally to me and still doesn’t (although it is easier than math). I have to say though that I am grateful to have the ability to write and there is an audience for me. Thank you for reading! What inspires you? How can my writing help you? If you would like to be encouraged through one of my books, let me know to purchase a copy. However, more importantly let me know how my writing can serve and inspire you. 4 years ago I didn’t think I could do it, and having a book (well actually more like 2 close to mine, 7 total, and 8 if you count a master’s thesis books close at hand), but it has lead to many doors through speaking, acting, and writing. I never would have thought to. What doors are open because of something that has happened to you? Seize the day! 

When your in a whole new world, it can be a scary thing. There are many new adventures to take in life. When your in a whole new world, it is important to take a step out in faith. Try something new. Take a chance. Make mistakes. Be okay. As they say in Aladdin when your in a whole world it is ‘unbelievable sights, indescribable feeling, soaring tumbling, free wheeling, through an endless diamond sky.’ It it important to really just take an adventure and soon you see new things. I am ready to take it in, to try new things, and to see the indescribable feeling. Have you ever been in an whole new world? What was it like? Share your experience with me. How did you take it? Know that being in a whole new world while it can be scary, it can be wonderful, amazing! I am grateful to be on a whole new world. Hope you are too! I feel so blessed to take on this new opportunity as it will shape who I am.