Nikhil's Musings

Tring Tring

2008-05-11T04:26:00.000+05:30

This TVC took me back to more than two decades.

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Back home,we waited for 4 years to get a telephone connection from the Department of Telecom,the earlier avtar of BSNL. That was 1988.

The story of telephony in India can partly be traced through the phones we have had back home.
I have seen the evolution of telephone instruments in the past two decades from the dial phones to push buttons, from wall hanging to cordless...

The first telephone that we had at home was a Red colored dialing model,manufactured at ITI,Naini.Those were the times when push button phones were yet to hit the market.And the red color looked classy on the phone.Beyond the looks,the instrument had a distinct ring and weighed about 5 kg.

Now I feel, reasons for lower telephone bills those days would have been the difficulty to dial(yes,DIAL) and the non availability of the redial option.
So if a number was busy,tap the phone twice and then start dialing again.Arduous task.
This telephone was one of the first electronic(?) equipment I independently operated upon(another one was a cassette player).But this rugged instrument never failed to amuse me.
Even after having a screw or two extra after every open the phone-close it repair cycle,it worked. I was confident that come what may, the DOT was going to replace the phone if it stops working.It was like having something that had a lifetime replacement warranty.

In some 4 years,having a telephone ceased to be a rarity in our area.
"And Hey!Our neighbors don't have the dialing phones.They have push button phones.!How can this happen?",I thought.

One fine day,I spotted some ants on the red phone.May be during my repair exercises,one or two crystals of sugar got in.Idea!!,my brother and me made the plot.We opened the telephone and put in some sugar inside and closed it.Yes,we actually did it. Within a day,The phone was full of ants!!!That was a successful attempt in getting a push button phone.Adios the megalithic red monster,we thought!We grinned at our own success.The story of feeding the phone with sugar still remains a secret between my brother and me.

Those were the times not only of dial phones,but manual exchanges.Apparently,calls actually were connected manually.Say A calls B and B is located in another telephone exchange's area.So A's telephone exchange manually connected the call to B's exchange.That itself gives a picture of the number of telephones and the number of exchanges in India then.

Cross talks were common,wrong numbers even more common.My brother and me both have had fun times responding to wrong numbers.Husbands calling wives,girl friends calling boy friends,customers calling banks,police stations all we could answer.Say,I pick up a call, I pass on the call to him and vice versa.We became masters at attending wrong numbers.

STD, was a luxury. One had to ask the DOT to have STD/ISD enabled.
There were STD slabs and variable rates during the day/night.STD rate charts seemed really complicated with rates dependant on the distance (slab) and the time of the day. One could easily get to listen to a lady telling in a nasal tone"All lines in this route are busy,please try after sometime" everytime you tried an STD call.
This scenario was much better, I was told then by my dad.Trunk calls which existed in the pre STD era were a wait and watch idea where one had to book and wait for the operator's call.STD,even though expensive,was a sigh of relief.

The rates were expensive.Like most middle class families of those times,we made sure that we called after 8pm or 9pm whatever the peak hours were according to DOT.

Every second mattered when you made an STD call.More focus was on the duration of the call than what was spoken. (Which is unlike what happens today)

We even got a stop watch to accurately check the duration.Some houses had a telephone lock to prevented unauthrorised use of the phone.No, not the computerized number lock(which came later), a physical lock with a key to lock the "dial" or to cover and lock the push buttons.You can't blame them.Phones were indeed a rare thing.Plus,tapping lines and calling from telephone poles were common.(May be the line man wanted to talk to his chettan in Saudi)

The telephone directory was the database of all respectable people in the town and was the easiest available database of denizens of a town. Mailers came home announcing the launch of a Silk Sari showroom in as far as Coimbatore or a Garden Vareli discount sale in Trivandrum. These things were common during those days.Telemarketing was not born.So the most popular cold calling method was mailing.Citibank,may be the only aggressive foreign bank in India then, used to send mailers on their credit cards.I still remember the cards that said valid in India and Nepal only.

It was common for the phone to be dead.The easiest way to troubleshoot was to short the wires that came into the phone or even try keeping the ends on your tongue. If you get a shock, all's well in the line. The instrument is faulty.There was no other way to trouble shoot,unless of course you had a parallel phone. And having one without permission was a criminal offense by an archaic act of 1885. Later,like most others we too clandestinely kept a paralell phone.

Even during the push button era,the government offices and the state public library in Trivandrum still had the black bakelite phones.

Telephony in India grew leaps and bounds,thanks to Rajiv Gandhi and Sam Piroda.The omnipresence of PCOs added fuel to this growth.The sector was thrown open to private players.

A device that is oft forgotten when we talk of our progress in telecom is the pager which was once a hit, albeit for a short time.

Then came the Brick sized cell phones which could easily disguise as a weapon for self defense.
Internet and VOIP happened.
In this day of skype,jaxtr,iPhone and twitter,when a new landline/mobile connection is an hour away, the memories of the dial phone evokes nostalgia.

After atleast 14 phones and 20 years later, I miss that red phone whenever I go back home.How I wish,we still had the good old dial phone at home. Listen to the old ring

Image credits: distinctivetelephones.com| antiquetelephones.abdyantiques.co.uk |old-phones.com| actw.nl/English/Old%20telephones.htm

Presence in blessings only

2008-05-01T22:25:00.007+05:30

The first time I saw Chi and Sow, it seemed like nothing more than funny 3 letter combinations.That was a Telugu Wedding card if I remember correctly.
Plus,the girl had Chi and Sow while the guy had only Chi before his name.Asking around I learnt that Chi was for Chiranjeevi and Sow was Sowbhagyavathi.
Chiranjeevi meant nothing more than Aswathama(the only Chiranjeevi I knew) and the Telugu actor Chiranjeevi to me then. Quite unfair that the groom did not have any prefix that was equivalent to Sow...why not Sowbhagyavaan?
(So Chiranjeevi's wedding card would have had it as Chi.Chiranjeevi? :D)

Another peculiar thing I noticed in non Malayalee wedding cards was the yellow color on the corners.During those times, the most alien card I could have come across was a Tamil, Telugu or a Kannada wedding card. And on and off some of them had the yellow corners. Some even had red smears on them.The yellow was turmeric water smeared for purity,hygiene etc I understood later.

With or without the Chis,and Sows, the yellow smears, wedding cards caught my attention. Many a times, one could easily find a typo in a card.Thanks to the Printer's Devils, the typos would sometimes be really funny something like "Presence in blessings only" and in some cases like this use of spell check worsened it.

Then there used to be some cards which almost had the visiting card details of the bride and the groom. Like working with Chi.Sow Amala (Software Engineer,Doubtsourcing Inc.,now on site in Minneapolis) or Chi.Srinivas (MBA-Random Institute of Management) or even worse Sow.Lavanya(MBBS-Pursuing 3rd year).

Mallu wedding cards thankfully don't contain such details, may be they are too humble ;)

Coming to North Indian wedding cards, it has a part which Southies like me have no clue of.Since I am yet to attend one, I have no clue what Sangeet is.And half their cards' space is taken by details of Sangeet.

With Indianisation-Globalisation happening these days, you get to see even Mallu wedding cards with a sketch of Baarat or Doli!!!.(When in school I used to wonder what baarat ? I could simply not relate to the meaning even when explained to me). Some even have the Sangeet clip art on it, beat that! Since it is the same card templates and clip arts that are used across India(or world),you would rarely see a Guruvayoorappan , Vilakk (Lamp) or Para these days on Mallu wedding cards .Its the cliched set of symbols like this.

Come what may,there is some unity in the text.Solicit,Esteemed,Gracious,Auspicious,Cordially-the set of words which are unavoidable in a wedding card.

First I thought it was some smart printer in India who came up with these 3 or so templates that later became popular. Invites are usually in third person and it would say Mrs and Mr.A cordially invite your esteemed presence with family on the occasion of the wedding of their son _____ and .... or cordially invite you and your family to grace the auspicious occasion of the marriage of their son ____..

May be some printer thought why their son's wedding , it should be our son's wedding and so we get occasional breaks from cards framed in third person.

Why do some cards invite us with family and friends? May be they are jus' being extra nice .

The fact is that it has been like this for ages!! May be it is a remnant of the how the monks used to craft wedding invites during the Middle Ages.May be writing in third person was to bring in a formal touch to these cards.Many a times, the terms wedding and marriage are used interchangeably in the Indian context(cards)

Only very few people act like Grammar Nazis and do a thorough proof reading of the wedding invite(template) that a printer suggests. So,in most cases a mistake remains a mistake, and it continues until someone points it out to them.Only a small percentage of cards do actually come typo free, error free in grammar,punctuation etc.
Post Script: Why can't weddings be sponsored?
Think about the number of foot falls, eyeballs.
Atleast 80-90% of the invitees would come for the event. Almost all will have a good look at the card.
What if there is an LCD screen at the venue that displays ads?

Some Creative inputs for this image TDP

Do not toilet please

2008-04-24T20:19:00.005+05:30

This post reminded me of a pic that I clicked some years back in a friend's room at IIML.
And here is the image. Click on it and have a batter view ;)

Can some one get me this Hindu paper ?

Mein Hoo Na...Mein Hain Na..

2008-04-13T19:23:00.007+05:30

Till I joined REC Warangal , I had to mind my ka and ki whenever I tried speaking in Hindi. So in school the best option was to avoid talking in Hindi.

Kintu and parantu sounded so similar to me, in spite of a rigorous Hindi syllabus I was subject to for a decade in school. Thank god, it ended in class ten. And those ten years were not easy.Difficult would be an understatement of the times I had to go through with Hindi.
To top in all it was Course A of CBSE Hindi that I had to suffer. (Some schools had Course B which was as easy as English alphabets!) The misery did not end there. My school, for some godforsaken reason had Social Studies in Hindi. Yes, that makes life all fun filled। When you have all your Geography, History and Civics in Hindi World war was always Vishwa Yuddh for me. Latitude and longitude were akshaansh and rekhaansh. I had to learn about Kark rekha and Makar rekha(that is Tropic of Cancer and capricon) Map was Manchitr. I mere thought that I used to write "tippani" on French Kraanti or Yunan(Greece of the ignorant souls) send shivers down my spine. It all started with learning words like kalam and kamal in class 1 besides learning to abuse everyone in class jaabe saale ullu ke patte having had no clue of the meaning. We kids used to sit and break the phrase into words and left alone every word seemed okay and we decided the cumulative effect would be zilch as well. Five olds actually sat and figured out these meanings those days! Team effort!
That was when I would not have learnt a good abuse in Malayalam ;) Even though the tribulations with Hindi ended a lot with Social Studies migrating to English in class nine,Hindi(the language) haunted me for two more years. We had doha(which was neither dosa nor poha :D ), thanks to someone by name Kabirdas.
Still remember that when they took off the chaadar off when Kabir's dead body, the body had turned into flowers...May be they thought us this to infuse Hindu Muslim unity. (Kabir's body was claimed by both these religions. Go read your textbooks, if you didn't know this).

Meerabai , Tulsidas were other nice people who made my days,weeks and months all together. Devaki Nandan Khatri,Suryakant Tripathi 'Nirala',Phanishwar Nath 'Renu',Premchand,Harivash Rai Bachan and ____ Shukla are some of the names I can recollect now.

Their literary masterpieces invaded my life and had to figure out the meanings (literary,figurative), the metaphors and other figures or speeches.The killer was kavi parichay which was a brief biography of the poet.For annual exams,there would easily be fifteen of them to cover and was indeed a task that made me a Hindiphile. None of these guys would have the same year of birth,leave anything else. Every poet was so different. The only solace was Harivansh Rai Bachan, who was very farsighted of being nice to students like us and titled his works as Madhushaala, Madhubala and Madhukalash. Plus, one paragraph on Amitabh could possibly be squeezed in his kavi parichay.

Samkshipt Ramayan and Manak Hindi Vyakaran (Yes, that was one Grammar Book which taught me Samaas, the various kinds of it, sandhi, sandhi vicched, the types of Hindi languages like Audhi, Khadi Boli etc!!!)helped me learn the language, the way it had to be . The numerals and numbers also mortified me. The only numeral I could figure out was 0 which thankfully was the same in English as well. Rest of them looked more like nooses ready to hang my future.Lets not start on the numbers. Thirappan, Chappan, Ikyanabbe, phew, it was tough.

Solah and Satrah still make me count ek,do,teen to figure out which one is 16 and which one is 17. Words like gubbare (Balloon) or Kamal have not been used ever after school! May be a dose of Aaj Tak would remind me of those long forgotten words. I would have changed my gender in so many exams thanks to the eternal(?)confusion between ee ki matra or aa ki matra. While writing this piece, Kal kare sau aaj kare, aaj kare sau ab, Pal mein parlay hoyega,tho bahuri karega kab came to my mind. That being the only doha I know. May be the way it was recited I can't forget,Khoob Ladi Mardani woh tho Jhaansi waali Rani thi, Bundele harbolo ke muh se humne suni kahaani thi.

Eventhough my Hindi has become decent enough compared to an average Southie,I still refrain from using Dhai and Dedh because I am still confused.Better using 1:30 or 2:30,respectively(?). And why did I learn to write letters in Hindi that usually started with Poojy Pithaaji? Only if I knew.

I dedicate this post to all the Hindi teachers I had in school who worked hard,really hard to save me from being a disgrace to the language.

Vishu Aasamsakal

2008-04-13T14:02:00.002+05:30

Vishu Aasamsakal(Happy Vishu)

Happy Vishu,Bihu,Baisakhi, Tamil Puthand or however you celebrate :-)

Card courtesy: Manoramaonline.com

My favourite Match

2008-04-05T00:04:00.006+05:30

Stamp and Coin collections were out of fashion.The 90s were almost over. Rajiv Gandhi was no longer the Prime Minister.Gulf war was about to begin.

A new hobby was coming in place,and that was collecting match box labels. Though my initial reactions were, "No, nothing great...eekss....match box labels...not dignified..",it caught up really fast. I stayed an ardent collector of matchbox labels for 2-3 years. It faded away. Nowadays, I rarely mention that I used to be Matchbox label collector.Some feeling of "not so good" on the hobby let it hide somewhere deep inside. And no one ever mentioned that he/she used to be a match box label collector....until GWBE did so recently.

Looking back at those times,it was the only hobby I jointly pursued with my brother and there was NO generation gap involved. We Two, and Chavi formed the brands to start off your hobby with.Those were the most popular brands.The value of these brands were not much because of its availability. The ubiquitous Chavi was a wax based match, probably the only one of its kind.Some of the WIMCO brands like Ship and Home Lites were also common. The market also consisted of hazaar counterfeits/imitations trying to piggy back on an established brand.So, there were Ours Two,Key and Homely Lites etc. I remember the brand Kadhak, which in fact had a Kathakali picture on it, instead of Kadhak, for whatever reason.

And the hobby caught up, caught up so much that every single shop near schools ranging from Petty Kada to Stationary shops started selling freshly printed matchbox labels. Yes, they were not the dirty ones taken off from match boxes lying down, but newly printed by some enterprising soul to help grow this hobby and make some quick bucks. Cup was a brand which was available 100 a Rupee(jus' a bit of exaggeration).

I am not sure, even now if such a brand ever existed in the market.There were so many brands that was added to my collection thanks to these freshly printed matchbox labels.Everybody could buy these labels from shops. The market was getting competitive. One had to have rare labels. It was a question of existence.I started collecting these labels, literally collecting...from streets,roads sides, waste bins.

I was mad, so much that my mom almost disowned me (more than once)when she found me searching for labels among garbage.Another source was friends, relatives who used to come from other cities.I managed some Cheeta Fights from Bangalore. Dubai was a brand which none of my classmates in Trivandrum could manage.You get that brand only in Payyanur. :-)Many other brands were available there and it became a motivation to go to Payyanur. The freshly printed labels that flooded the market had the address which in most cases said either Kovilpatti or Sivakasi.Many a times I thought Kovilpatti never existed and they were all fake.Come to think of brand names, these companies had exhausted almost every single word that was top of mind. From animal and bird names to fruits...from household articles (knife,key etc) to names of gods and goddesses...from names of people and places to numbers....Why not.... If we can have 501 Soaps and Mango Fashion label!

I left the hobby may be because I thought it was not classy, or it seemed cheap to collect these labels. Or may be I was old to continue with a dirty hobby, literally. I burnt all the labels that I had one fine day.... That was the death of a hobby....

(A search on Google reveals that this hobby is called phillumeny and old matchbox labels are sold on ebay. And the limit is that someone by name Shahid Datawala has written a book on Indian Matchbox labels; Matchbook—Indian Matchbox labels.)

The gullible Mallu

2008-03-30T21:12:00.005+05:30

(Warning:This is a LONG post)

May be I look very gullible.May be I have those unsuspecting looks that every network marketeer looks for.Or may be a few words of flattery are enough to make me feel like a king.

It was an ATM queue.Thoughts like "damn India's population", "Why would everyone in Koramangala want to withdraw money NOW?", "Why cant this stupid bank have more ATMs?"were moving in and out of my head.Suddenly this guy next to me started chatting up.And I would not mind talking to stranger to kill time in a queue.He introduced himself as a techie with an Indian IT company(ya, the one powered by brains driven by something else...).The queue was long enough... he could have as well given a dissertation on Nano technology.Comments like even I wanted to do an MBA sometime..I am preparing for CAT, wanted to check something with you and all were sprinkled in his talk.(Yes! I am getting a bakra, I felt)
He did shower occasional praises at MBAs, how good they were. And about my B School, which was more than an an ego massage for me.Somewhere in the middle, we exchanged phone numbers.So what? ;)

Dang! I get a call from him in two days about his entreprenuerial venture and how he wants an intelligent MBA like to help him out.It revolved around how I can multiply my money in this "novel" venture and make it rich during my free time.I politely declined.

Moral of the story.Dont give your number to strangers.

Another day.
At a bakery closeby.
My company id card hanging down my neck clearly says I am with HP.Someone next to me."Oh you work with HP?,Great yaar"
A sudden boost to my esteem.My head held higher.Ego,pride and similar feelings sky rocket.With a tinge of arrogance, I say,"Ya, I am with HP".
Oh, software? He asks.
Me:No,...MBA
He:Wow! MBA....good man!
Me:ya....
He:I am with XYZ soft.
Me:[General questions to acknowlege the attention I got and the to send a I am a KNOW ALL feeling]"What is your profile like?,which vertical"?

Out of nowhere he tries to hijack the conversation.
He:"I think we should exchange numbers"
Me:[Ok.Chance to throw my visiting card at someone]Take my card.

Two days passed.
"Hi, remember we met at the bakery...how are you doing...have you had dinner...?"
So many questions all in one shot, to strike a conversation.

I am like, okay...what do you want(in a polite manner though)

"See, apart from my work we do some work in ________________ area and would want highly motivated and intelligent people like you to join us. I am sure you have some time to spare.Why don't we meet sometime at ______"
Me:Thanks, but I am not inerested.

The funny thing is the same guy caught me again, stuck a conversation at the bakery and took my number.
This time I was sure, he was going to call in a day's time. I waited for the happiness of fooling someone.
He called, I said, Sorry I am not interested.

It did not end there,another guy at the same bakery.
"Oh you with HP, I am with SAP"
Me:Great! I am into Analytics(jus' show off)
He:Cool!
2 mins into the conversation,the routine exchange of numbers happened.

I was hopeful, this guy was not a Network marketing guy.Hope,ya, jus hope.

I got a call from him, when I was out of town.Cell on roaming. No chance of me picking the call..ha ha ha!

Met the guy after a couple of days in the same bakery."I tried calling you, he said"
Me:I was not in town
Me:I am in a hurry, bye.

He calls that evening.
Same old stuff. Plus,"We have some guys from IIMA and IITs who have joined us and they are doing exceedingly well"
Me:Good for them
Me: Sorry not interested.

Now that I am used to such marketing or rather lack of it, I act like am an easy prey to such tricks.Like, I am all set for businesses that can help your money grow at 100 times the GDP growth!

A week back.
A well dressed guy.Same bakery.
"Nice bag"
Me:(In full "attitude" ishtyle")Original HP, I work with HP
He:Great.I thought its a Samsonite
Me:Its worth more.
He:So, you into software
Me:I am into something that is neither software nor call center, still IT/ITES.Its called Analytics.I am an MBA ...from ....SIBM.
He:I am with _____. Was with Oracle for 5 years. I am from _________.
Me:Good.
(When is he asking my number?? ask ask!! ;) )
He:I am Harit
Me:Nice name ;)

He:Think, we should exchange numbers
Me:Okay(Done!)

He:This friend of mine _____ is from Symbiosis.___batch.
Me:Great!May be some other Symbi institute.Nevertheles.....

I was waiting for his call.No he did not call that day.Next day, no.
Yes, he calls!!!! :-)

He:Hi Nikhil, this is _____...had dinner?(Hey,even my mom doesn't care this much)
Me:Ya!
He:You must be having a lot of free time, right.
Me:mmmm...ya(so what?)My company is good that ways.
He:Ya, I know.Your company is great!
See, apart from my work, I am into.....(There you go!!!)
Me:I can't code.
He:This is not software.But would need inputs from MBAs like you.(LOL!)
Think we should meet and discuss this over a coffee.
Me:Sorry!!! I am NOT INTERESTED.

I don't understand if I carry myself as a probable network for these guys or I am stupid enough to exchange cards...
Anyways, their tactics SUCK to say the least. To strike a conversation with someone and then take his number and try selling the concept.
Guys, you need to revisit school.

Good luck to all MLMs,Network Marketeers and others forms of it.

Moral of the story: Talk talk to strangers or put it this way MLMs, you guys need to learn a lot.

Coin-age Tale

2008-03-13T16:24:00.006+05:30

Numismatics and Philately....I knew these two words not because I used to collect stamps and coins, but they sounded very nerdy. And whenever in class one was quizzed on hobbies were, Stamp and Coin collection seemed very cliched.
And the next question would be "How do we better know Stamp/Coin collection?"

In school , almost every one used to collect stamps and coins. That was the in thing, years before WWF trump cards came in.(Which infact my brother used to be mad about)
I am talking about the second half of 80s and early 90s.

I remember days in school, when the discussion used to be "Who has Nippon Triangle doubles" or "I have the world's rarest stamp, of Peru, anyone willing to get me a San Marino or an Ethiopia". I used to die for these stamps. Used to beg, cajole...to get rare stamps.
Some guys used to buy stamps from the market and I used to believe that they are all fake. Still not sure if those were original or not.

Stamps without the post office seal were considered fake. That was one of the innumerable illogical logics followed.

Taking off stamps from an envelope was not so easy. The envelope had to be soaked in water for about half an hour and then the stamp had to be taken out carefully.

Figuring out the country of origin of some stamps was a difficult task those days. Those were the days without Google or Wikipedia. The only source of such information was books or friends. So a Magyar Posta or a Helvetia remained "unknown countries" till they were discovered by some knowledgeable soul.

Non English stamps like that of a Saudi Arabia,Oman or a Cyprus used to be identified by their insignias.(Though Cyprus had KIBRIS on it)

I remember how countries were made rare. One had to cook up stories like, this country is really really poor,they dont have money to feed people,and its a stamp from one of those counties. Usually, African and South American stamps fell into this category by default. But for these stamps I would have never known an Ethiopia!!!
Stamps from the Middle East was the most easy to get in Kerala, for obvious reasons. ;)
Umm al-Quwain,Ras al-Khaimah, Ajman other emirate stamps from UAE was rare though.

I still stick to a funda, whenever a country is United, like a USA, UK or a UAE, its states/provinces will have stamps. Not sure if that gem of information is true.
And it was NOT difficult to sell such funda among friends in school.

I repent for exchanging one of the Greece stamps for I dunno which stamp.
And pride myself in having an Ethiopia , San Marino, Peru and some weird shaped(India's Triangles, Circles).

Coins also were not easy to decipher. The value, the year and the country! It was so complicated.
I used to be fond of pre independence coins .I somehow managed to get 2 coins of British India from a Northie classmate, who had got them from his grand dad. Boy! That was some effort.

CCCP was the easiest, be it stamps of coins to decipher. After my dad told me CCCP is actually SSSR , I used to make a religious effort to correct my friends.
And then USSR broke apart, and so many stamps and coins in my collection became rare,overnight.

Stamps and coins have been collected not only from friends and relatives....but...
I have stooped to the level of asking random firangs for coins to asking neighbours for foreign stamps from posts they get from abroad.

That was the craze.

Times have changed. So many of these coins would never be minted...so many of these stamps would never be printed .... which includes all EU countries, Czechoslovakia etc ....

And I have not stopped collecting coins and stamps....recently bought some old Travancore coins from a roadside seller in Trivandrum. :-)

PS: Will post on Match Box cover collection later ;)

Gold's own country

2008-02-15T17:10:00.011+05:30

If there is something that you can't miss during a journey through Malluland,they are the hoardings with pretty models wearing jewelry,so much of it that you feel that the weight of gold would pull the hoarding down!!!

Yes, it is not the presence of political/pseudo political parties and their flags that comes to my mind when I think of Kerala, but these hoardings. Gold is everywhere. Not only as ornaments and jewelry but also on the media. Barring HUL,and some Silk Saree showrooms, jewelry brands take up almost the full of the ad slots on Mallu channels.(Fact is that atleast two of the jewelry giants are into Silk as well)

Kerala is obsessed with the yellow metal, and almost a third of the close to 900 tonnes of annual gold India purchases move into bank lockers in Kerala. (Source Commodity Online)

Weddings to anniversaries, auspicious days to investments, not a big reason is needed to head to a Gold showroom. No wonder Kerala is home to some of Asia's largest retail chains in gold and jewelry business.

All the brands that have a firm foot hold in the Kerala market are local brands be it an Alukkas,Alappat,Chemmanur,Josco, Bhima, Giripai,Kalyan or the latest Malabar Gold.
Entry of Kirtilal Kalidas (2003) or a chic and sleek Tanishq has not much affected the jewellry market which still has a strong appetite for traditional designs. A Tanishq would hardly end up being the place for a wedding purchase not only for the cost but for the style and design.

Malayalee's love for gold can be traced back to the kings who amassed jewelry and then the socialist Malayalee's capitalistic pursuits to the middle east brought in more money and more gold. The market thrived. No wonder all the Kerala jewellers have a massive presence in the middle east to cater to the gold thirsty Mallu.

No wonder, 916 and Hallmark, these would be the words that every Malayalee will continue to have at the tip of their tongues.

As long as Malayalees live on this planet, as long as Malayalees get married, as long as expat money flows in...gold will rule Kerala.

* The title has been used elsewhere before and is NOT original

Images-Sourced from Flickr and Alukkas website respectively. All image rights with the respective owners.

China, Reliance and now the Nano

2008-01-18T19:40:00.000+05:30

The Chinese are coming. This was the fear some years back. They are going to be a threat for anything and everything we produce; from batteries to TVs, from Bikes to footwear...everything is going to be Chinese. Goods are going to be sold at "Chinese Rates". Did anything much happen?

Did the Hero Hondas and the Bajajs shut shop fearing an onslaught of cheap Chinese bikes?
We did not see the Videocons exiting the market when a TCL or a Konka landed. But for the Chinese idea of bundling too many things into one(TV,Radio,Emergency Lamp all in one), those goods were all a sham. It was when the Chinese landed when the average Indian learnt the meaning of quality! All the media hype,died a slow death. The joke that was going around was that China wanted to sell some prime property in Mumbai, at dirt cheap rates!

Then came the Ambani era. Guess, it all started with the launch of the Monsoon Hungama. Cell phones were no longer exclusive to the rich. Did CDMA actually give a run for the GSM operators' money? No, most of the CDMA market was newly created which the GSM operators of those times would not have been able to get into. Though the fear of Reliance trying to shake up markets(from kiranas to the stock market) continues, the repercussions of a Reliance Fresh would not be much looking the rate at which demand is increasing. Various retail formats may threaten the existing system, again... No!!!, newer markets would be either created or the markets will adjust to any usher in such juggernauts.

And now the third fear is imminent. All the bikes are going to be dumped.Everyone will buy at least one Nano, may be one for each member of the family.Roads will be full of Nanos.
Hello!!! Would this happen overnight? Would someone who would shell out 40k for an entry level bike go for a 1lakh plus Nano? Not happening....

Hope I get to read this after a year or 2 and feel good. :-)

A strategy of sorts

2007-12-20T19:10:00.000+05:30

If there is any term that makes me feel sick because of the over use ,misuse and other kinds of uses just to sound a bit cool and MBA ish, be it a newspaper ,newsreader or even someone at work...its the word STRATEGY...This is used 90% of the cases when NOT at all required,when other words can convey the meaning in a better way....The ones who puke this word at the drop of a hat don't understand the true meaning which is far away from a tactic,idea or a game plan!

Strategy is not about choosing a restaurant for dinner.
It is not about the administration diverting traffic during President's visit. What is strategy in this?
Deciding which queue to join at the reservation counter is not strategy.
Having a wacky status message on Gtalk is not strategy either.
Nothing day to day is strategic.
BJP deciding candidates for elections 3-4 months away is not strategy.
That smart statement that you blurt out to impress your manager is also not strategy.(I'm confused here ;) )
Booking air tickets way ahead to save money is planning not strategy.
Bribing the cop when caught for breaking rules is risky not strategy.
Moving a batsman up or down the order is part of the game plan not strategy!

Confused if to carry your sweater to work.......may be you need to strategize..... :D

Boost your brains!

2007-12-07T17:42:00.000+05:30

Long long ago, much before Viagra mails started flooding your Spam,some other part of the human body was the focus of everybody's attention.

I am referring to the IQ improving tips and tricks, ya...brains!

Apart from the edible form of IQ enhancers, Raj Bapna's Mind Machine was my favorite. I used to read carefully every word of his ad which had as much text as a Harry Potter series, all compressed,boxed(sic),into one page!
Probably his ad remains the oldest running print ad campaign in India.Even though I never believed his ads,I admired his ability to use all possible words synonymous with intelligence in India;IIT, IIMs ,100% and to highlight that he was from BITS Pilani, was an NTSE Scholar and he topped RAJ board.(The content of the ad is recollected from my memory,blame it on not using his kit for any errors!!!).Magazines like Competition Success Review gathered most of their ad revenue from such brain stimulators.

Even newspapers and TV were not spared.The pre-internet era oldies like me, got to see a lot of it. From hazaar brands using the word Memory and Brains (Memory Plus, Memory Booster,Brainvita-Bournvita's distant cousin) to authentic (!!!) ayurvedic straight out of the forest concoction of random herbs with the must must ingredient Brahmi, I was bombarded with brain bettering methods.We Indians had enough Ayurvedic background and a (false?) notion that we were the best IQ race to come up with the most novel techniques and drugs to better one's brains.

In most of these ads, the funniest of the testimonials and recommendations could be found. From an easily recognizable fake Dr.PK Agnihotri, HOD, Psychology, University of Lokhandwala to Amit Sinha,X/XII(NP State Board,Rank 2 and 1)IIT(Kanpur,Computer Science),MS(University of Abraska),IIM(All calls,rejected)!

The TV ads for the edible boosters would have mom's declaring how their "weak" kid, became a class topper within a month of Brainvita!

These drugs were all meant to increase the speed at which we think,to make us learn better,increase memory by 89% and to get an admission into one of those better places of professional education.
I would have won at least one memory test in school, blame it on my parents not buying these stories! ;)

I don't see many of the IQ boosting ads these days.Has the Indian obsession for brains come down? Aren't we thinking about IQ any longer? (EQ is cool I know, now people coming with a lot of 2 lettered Qs)

I still believe I missed out a lot of these things, and the world lost an Einstein ;)! :P LOL!!!

What outsourcing will do to India?

2007-11-19T20:06:00.000+05:30

Oft repeated, often discussed, still worth publishing.

1)How will we have bridges, dams and roads if all Mechanical,Electrical and Civil engineers dream of raking in moolah going onsite and start coding?
2)How will basic sciences grow if the IT Industry starts giving them low end coding and testing jobs?
3)Who will teach the next generation if IT and BPO takes in almost everybody? (Ya, teaching will be the last resort!)
4)Money matters,still...isn't there better work to be given than the low end outsourced work?
5)Economy will grow,more money to spend...which in turn means Auto rickshaw drivers will become richer, vegetable sellers will hike rates, malls will thrive,movie halls will give way for multiplexes,traffic will stop moving...
6)Bangalore will choke .Mini Bengalurus will sprout.
7)Complacence will grow.A Software job will remain the eternal dream of every other engineer.
(Overheard-Post campus placements engineering students leave CAT prep for pursuing the software dream!)

High time we realize brain drain of a different kind...

Inconvenience on wheels

2007-10-15T01:20:00.000+05:30

Like hundreds of other commuters, a journey on the side berth of a train is something that I hate.It is only when I am option less,choice less, mind less, I settle for the side berths.

One it is inconvenient for almost everyone, unless you are a character straight out of Gulliver's Travels. The length of the berth is far from anything that can fit any average guy.And even worse, we need to shell out as much as for the normal berth as for a side berth?
Hello Railways!!! Some incentive for the inconvenience that you provide commuters with???

The guy who designed the side berths must have been really insane to place 16 side berths into every (sleeper) compartment. I am sure he would have had a mandate from his boss to squeeze in 72 berths,and was on the verge of losing his job.

Now our respected fodder eating , ruminating, Lalu who has managed to get his name printed on some case studies as a maverick minister, is thinking one step forward, I mean above. There he comes with one more side berth!Yes, 3 side berths instead of 2! So the extra side seater gets to sit and let his back go for a toss being supported by hard mica(?) sheets.
Welcome to the world of differential comforts.The moving example of early bird gets the worm.If you are lucky,you get the comfortable(?) berths else, settle for the additional side berths!

Aren't more coaches an option Sri. Lalu? I heard, you are ,oops.. I mean your organization(Indian Railways)is making profits.Any thoughts?

Why do u make the commuter suffer more than ever before?

You, me , the commuter as always remains the scapegoat.
Next time, you may be lucky to sitting on a SM(Side Middle) seat.
Bon Voyage! Hats off to Lalunomics : D

What is CSR?

2007-10-10T18:19:00.000+05:30

Corporate social responsibility isn’t about planting trees in some vague corner of the world, but about how you do your business and how ethical you are as a corporation! Said Hurstel

It is not about "motivating" employees to contribute towards a social cause.

It should not be another way of creating customer loyalty, here based on noble activities.

It is not wearing the Green mask in whichever, whenever, wherever, whatever possible style to portray an ecofriendly(thereby socially responsible) image.

It is not about doing absolutely nothing to the community or society at large, but be good to employees.

It is not about finding a way to get into the good books of the tax man and manage some exemption.

It is not about starting an activity be it planting trees, or educating street children, but focusing on results and continuing the activity.

It is not jus' about setting a recycling plant after realizing the irreparable damage already done.

It is not about doing an Enron and feed street children at the same time.

It is not about engaging sweat shops and cheap labor(oops Cost Arbitrage) and cost cutting, and being tight lipped on the bonded laborers (Think Adidas, Nike etc)

It is not about making the end customer pay unwillingly for an "activity" which is known for siphoning of public money and embezzlement.

It is not about roping in celebrities and hogging the media space with “We do this, this and this” statements. Celebrity endorsement, even for CSR?.

Then, what is CSR? Even I am trying to get an answer.

Great Indian Middle class?

2007-10-04T17:02:00.000+05:30

The emerging middle class,the big spenders,the ones who have arrived,the rising middle class....
STOP!!! Have heard enough, have had enough media attention on the 250 million people who would fall into this category!

The trend now is to try an associate oneself as much close to middle class, if unable to unearth middle class upbringings(media stereotyped!),the way they went to school in an rickshaw,how their parents tried to make both the ends meet,how a teacher who punished him now is showering praises(what is the middle class connection?) ...typical stories, nothing short of being called cliches.....

Indian cricketers have joined the gang of middle class wannabes,(or wannabes from middle class). Be it a Dhoni, Harbhajan, or a Sreesanth and a lot of others, the story they try weaving and selling is similar. The media is hand in glove with them, by dishing out trash on the telly. (Was fortunate to dwell into the lives, oops MIDDLE class roots of our cricketers, courtesey CNN IBN) and print (No points for guessing who does the worst show, Malayala Manorama!! which has become a window for the Malayalees across the globe in telling what is Sreesanth's mom making for dinner, when did she buy her new silk saree to bring in good luck to her "Gopu Mon" and how her son used to go to temples and churches as a kid).

The media keeps telling us that these guys did not have Shivaji Park to play cricket when they were young. So?? And please stop showing me the ground they practiced cricket as a kid! the neighborhood windows that gave way to their sixers......all signs of small town middle class life, sigh!!!

A sign of nation developing? Yes, I would say...

Like the movies of yesteryears where the protagonists enacted a rags to riches story, its no longer the rags to riches that sells. Its the Indian Middle class that is selling like hot cakes.Everybody wants to be part of it,somehow. Thats were the support comes from ,even though they form jus a quarter of the population....

Final question, is Dhoni going to enter politics? Seemingly possible, I would say. The way he addressed the Mumbai crowd recently, had all the ingredients of a future politician.Who knows, this 'small town" guy could be the next to address UN on How Cricket can usher in peace or be an MLA from Jharkhand atleast...

How I forwarded my domain to my blog

2007-09-30T12:04:00.000+05:30

Voila!!!

Finally I manage to do it. After hours of effort,mails,and asking people on how to forward by domain to my blog,I find the solution and it works!!!

I have mailed Rediff (who sold me nikhil.co.in) atleast 50 times(yes,50 times) they could not help.
Whatever I do as they suggested, the subdomain blog.nikhil.co.in would go to Google.com
I guessed that is because my blogspot blog does not have a static IP , and everytime I resolve my blogspot blog URL to an IP and try that IP , it leads to Google. So that was the problem.
Rediff kept telling, everything fine from their side. Check with blogger.

Had mailed blogger a couple of times, and they said, it may not work in this specific case blah blah!!!
Please, how can such a simple thing not have an ans.
Poor me, created a tripod page, kept a domain forward there to my blog with the hope that my tripod page would have a static IP! nay, it did not work!! :( Phew!!!! Maddening effort I felt at so many points of time...

Then I thought its high time, I go through Google Groups and yes!! the solution was there! I was not the only one, so many folks faced the exact same problem. I mailed Chuck and he replied.

One thing to note, it takes almost 24 hours for the whole thing to take into effect.

The steps are given below

1)Go to your domain control panel
(In my login to go to Rediff Domains and Control panel of nikhil.co.in)
2)Click on CNAME
3)Enter Alias as whatever you would like to have before your domain name to be your new blogger address. In my case Alias, is blog, so that blog.nikhil.co.in would lead to http:///nikmuse.blogspot.com
4)Next to the Alias field, there would be a field Host Server. Enter ghs.google.com there.
If you do not have a . (dot) after you save the same, edit the Host Server and re enter as ghs.google.com.
5)Now,this is done. Next step is changing settings in blogger.
6)On your blogger Settings tab, click on Publishing.
7)Click on Advanced Settings and enter blog.nikhil.co.in and save the settings
8)You are done!!! :-)

Wait for a day for the whole thing to take into effect. Why ghs.google.com and NOT nikmuse.blogspot.com in this case, is that your question? Check this page for the answer

Hope I am of some use to junta who face the same problem.

Google Adsense puzzles me again

2007-09-24T21:18:00.000+05:30

All the 3 images are from Manorama Online's children's section
Google adsense simply goofs up as in most of the cases.
Check out the ads- they are ads for Jobs, Matrimonials and Networking.

Content based advertising, ya, that is what Google Adsense is....but....think who goes through these pages, pre teenagers(ok, say even early teenagers)...if they go online to read a Balarama and other sections, I assume they are located outside Kerala or India and these magazines are not available in hard copy version for them....and the they may check these pages on their own or lets say parents take them to these sections(I am sure a kid who can surf himself wouldnt check the Rhymes section!!!)....

So for whom are the jobs ad??? parents may be!!!!
Matrimonials!!!!-confused me!!!! still thinking who the target is!!!!
Networking-may be new generation kids gonna network big time, orkut is only for Adults right!!

Bangalored Rickshaw-wallahs

2007-09-16T19:49:00.000+05:30

I go through a love (?) hate relationship with Bangalore, feelings that go on a roller coaster everyday. Though I hate this place for the traffic that is chaotic and stationary(yes!!!) ,the rains that transform this place into a pool and makes me come home like a Hippopotamus wading through a filthy pool...there are other factors as well that makes me simply hate this place!!!

So much that I feel like going back home, start farming in some remote place in Kerala or do nothing ,sit at home, at let my mom feed me daily with tons of rice, sambar, pulissery and fish(:D I wish!!)...so much that I feel like taking my company to Trivandum, so so much that I feel like starting something on my own away away from Bangalore.....

The autorickshaws that screw up the traffic is the latest in my hate list. No, I don’t much care 'coz they put in their share of chaos into the traffic, that is what they do in every other city. The rates, phew!!!

Where on earth can a rickshaw guy shamelessly ask for one and a half rates irrespective of the time of the day or the place to which you wish to rent the auto to?

6 am is too early so they ask for one and a half, 8 am is again early, after sometime it would be traffic, then it would be 'coz they wouldn’t get a return trip 'coz it that odd time of the day, then its traffic time again, or it midnight for them after 7pm!!! whatay logic!!

Half the times these guys are not ready to come, 'coz there is traffic(so what do these guys plan to do idling through the day) or the destination is too faar, or too close, or is some god forsaken place to which they feel theirs would be the first auto to go that day! Whatever the reason be, they are an annoying lot.

They have the audacity to ask for random rates which is usually at least 20-30 bucks more than the meter rates. These men in khaki(lol!!!) feels that anyone who comes out from an IT company(read ,has a tag hanging from their neck) is filthy rich, desperate to reach home, ready to pay any amount. Most of the times these khaki men manage to fleece a poor commuter, because he finds it impossible to find anybody agreeing for a reasonable rate….

I am sure these auto wallahs make the maximum out of the chaos called Bangalore.Lucky them, what else to say!

I look forward to the day, when they charge only by meter…I know it is impossible, still I can wish, hope……

Wake up Achumamma!

2007-09-05T17:57:00.000+05:30

The optimist in me never lets me believe that the see saw politics is actually a bane to Kerala.The government that comes to power makes sure that it finds hazaar reasons to plug even the minutest of the developmental activities initiated by their predecessor by finding a scam in the deal or try all possible means to hijack the credit of the step towards development.

We have seen this in the case of the well talked about smart city.

I used to shrug off any allegation against unfriendliness of Kerala as an investment destination to the fact that the high literacy rate combined with the high density of population was the prime reason for people forming action committees against any development citing reasons that environment is going to be affected, people are going to be rehabilitated, the investors are foreigners....

When other states are trying to woo investments and lure foreign investment, we see Kerala trying to pedal backward in fighting against foreign investment, be it in Rare earth mining or retail.

The funniest thing is foreign need not be firangs, anyone like a Birla or Reliance is enough to be branded as kuthaka/lobby etc.

I am yet to understand the logic of people protesting against the coming of organized retailers when almost every other state in India welcomed them with open arms.

Why are the political parties so fond of showing their power by calling bandh now known as hartal and that too for the silliest reasons?

How can a hartal against the government help control the spread of fever during the monsoons?
What extra bit can a hartal help in controlling fever?I do not hesitate a bit in calling these people irresponsible morons!

God almighty, please find some time out of your busy schedule in putting a pinch of brains into these duds!

The issue of hartal, investment unfriendliness arises not out of literacy,or of a high density of population that would not let any brick and mortar industry to come up(ya, people in this part of the world think about pollution first!!!)
but....the politicians,their chamchaas who rule the educational institutions of the state and the creed of jobless insensible brainless people collectively known as DYFI.

Politicians feed the student leaders who are a disgrace to the student community. A typical state level leader of any of the party affiliated student body would be in their early thirties, who are fed by politicians to cling onto some university and are unemployable to the highest order.These men/women have nothing else to do but try to hog lime lite somehow by shouting slogans against issues related or unrelated to students, create law and order issues and fight with the police/govt. as if we are still being rules by the British.
Burning effigy,vandalism and burning buses/govt vehicles is their favorite pastime.

Another class that need to be classified as pariahs before they take the state to deeper mess is DYFI. Any one can become a member by paying Rs 3 or 5 as a lifetime membership fee. And join the league of people paid to create public nuisance.

This post is jus a random thought, thoroughly unstructured and is typed at a stretch non stop....

Mr. CM , get a life!!! Open your eyes!!!

~~~Angry Mallu~~~

Indian Copy Paste Landscape

2007-08-31T14:19:00.000+05:30

We Indians call ourselves the masters of copy paste.
I realized foreign companies can give a run for our money.

Check the image for instance...

Print Screen of Marketrx's Career section(This company is up for sale , Infy and Wipro in the fray) and Allianz Cornhill .

Hail Copy Pasters!!! :D

Na, we are still the best....this is mere coincidence...or the lady moved from one company to the other ;P

Water......

2007-08-17T18:24:00.000+05:30

There was a time when I (like many Indians) failed to understand the concept of selling bottled water. Coming from a place where drinking water is not at all scarce (let alone some pipe breakages or pumping station break downs), I could hardly imagine that people actually pay ten bucks for a liter of water. At a time when, ten rupees was worth a lot more than what it is today, shelling for a bottle of water was a bit too much. And I used to think, why cant people carry water from home if they are going out?The brainy me would brand these people fools, rather than realizing I was lucky.

In spite of repeated warnings from my mom, I have had gallons of tap water, mostly because I felt it is better than the lukewarm Karingali water which everybody else had at home. And nothing gave me more pleasure than disobeying mom :D
Nothing happened to me having tap water, luckily! Times have changed. I don't get to have Karingali water any longer, nor do I get the "safe to drink" tap water from Kerala Water Authority. I can't even remember the taste of the well water in Payyanur. :-(

I realized that water indeed is precious!
It has been ages since I have had tap water. The convenience of bottled water was sold to me as well. I don't mind buying a bottle of water when I am out, and used to buy a lot of them in Pune.
Having a 20 liter dispenser at home was unthinkable, which I could connect only to seminars and offices. In Bangalore , its a must have for us. Rarely do I carry water while traveling. Its more convenient to buy a bottle of bottled water (as they have to call it) than having an used bottle filled.

Even I have changed. I don't even bat an eyelid spending on water.....convenience sells......indeed

Freedom spirit in the menu!

2007-08-14T14:04:00.000+05:30

Spirit of India oops... Congress even in the menu!

Look closely for the Congress Burfi and check out the same on the right

Bathing with Jetty is prohibited!

2007-07-29T22:48:00.000+05:30

The text in Tamil and Malayalam also means what they have meant in English. (Ya, the language has been mothered!) For the uninitiated Jetty means Undies down south.
Not sure if one needs to take Jetty off while taking bath :D as per the board!

The brand conscious please note the Viking brand mentioned on the jetty :D

This board can be seen at Thriparapp falls, a lousy place near Kanyakumari in TamilNadu, which now ceases to be anything more than a common bathing place
Not sure if it is maintained by the Panchayat or TTDC has a hand in advertising and not maintaining this place.... add is to your NEVER VISIT list unless you want to see this board ;)