A lot of how I think about business and life is probably buried in these more than anywhere else.

*below doesn't include the dozens of pods I did pre-2025

Conversation list:

The Mindset That Turns Success Into Freedom - Money Stories with Mike Brown (2026)

How to Build Exit Ready Companies - Beyond 8 Figures Podcast (2025)

The Mindset That Turns Success Into Freedom

Money Stories with Mike Brown (2026)

We chat about entrepreneurship, the gap between success and genuine freedom, why many become trapped by the business they built, how trauma rewires your perspective, and more.

A more personal and reflective conversation than most podcasts I’ve done. Raw and conversational in places, it captures a lot of how I think about business, money, energy, and freedom.

The Mindset That Turns Success Into Freedom Money Stories 2026

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Listen on your fave podcast app: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube

Mike is a dear friend doing important work with entrepreneurs around money mindset and wealth.

A few themes we explored

• How trauma and mortality reshape your relationship with time, money, and freedom
• The difference between building income versus building ownership
• Why many entrepreneurs unintentionally become trapped by the businesses they create
• Using entrepreneurship as a vehicle for freedom rather than identity or status
• The role of meditation, wellness, and intentionality in entrepreneurial life
• Why investment thinking changes how you approach risk, work, and opportunity

Key Quotes:

“Anything can happen to anyone at any moment.”

“I think your choice of life partner is the most important decision you’re ever going to make.”

“The great reasons to exit are because it’s a conscious choice. The bad reasons are because it’s forced on you.”

“Asset-based income means you don’t have to go to work every day to create it.”

Episode highlights:

• Trauma changes your relationship with time. Surviving a stroke at 30 forced me to rethink health, energy, freedom, and what actually matters.
• Wealth is more than money. Financial security matters, but so do energy, relationships, freedom of thought, and peace of mind.
• Meditation and wellness aren’t soft skills. Practices like yoga and meditation became tools for recovery, resilience, and better decision-making under pressure.
• The best exits are conscious decisions. Selling from exhaustion or burnout leads to very different outcomes than selling from strength and clarity.
• True ownership starts with responsibility. Building a business, relationship, or life requires taking full responsibility for the cards you’ve been dealt.

How to Build Exit-Ready Companies

Beyond 8 Figures Podcast with AJ Lawrence (2025)

A conversation about exit readiness, founder psychology, broken sell-side processes, and why building a business with optionality often creates a stronger company - even if you never intend to sell it.

This was recorded fairly early in the DKZ journey. It’s conversational and unpolished in places, but I still stand behind most of the ideas.

How to Build Exit Ready Companies Beyond 8 Figures Podcast 2025

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Listen on your fave podcast app: Apple Podcasts | Spotify

A few themes we explored

• Why profitable businesses can still be unsellable
• Incentive misalignment in lower middle-market M&A
• Founder psychology during exits
• Building companies as assets rather than lifestyles
• Why distribution often matters more than product

Key Quotes:

“You can have a very profitable business that actually is unsalable. And that’s something a lot of business owners don’t actually understand. It’s not that it will be hard to sell, it’s actually impossible to buy.”

“Think about the end game and don’t think of that as like several years off… start spending an hour a week on putting this stuff together. That can have a profound impact on the quality of your company today as well as creating that optionality in a future to sell or step back.”

Episode highlights:

• Just because it’s profitable doesn’t mean it’s sellable. The harsh truth is many founders build great income machines that buyers can’t touch.
• Exits start earlier than you think. The systems, structure, and strategy you put in place today will determine your future options.
• Run it like an asset, not a piggy bank. If your finances are messy or your value is locked in your own head, you’re not building a business. You’re building a trap.
• There’s power in being ready. Niraj calls it “right-click confidence”. Being able to drop a buyer into your data room at a moment’s notice changes everything.
• The best exits are designed backwards. A strong advisory board, clean financials, and a clear growth story make you more valuable now, not just later.

The new standard that's transformed my relationship with alcohol without quitting - and supercharged my energy, focus and control.

In just 4 months (136 days, in May 2025), my effortless discipline around alcohol reached superhuman levels.

No hangovers. No grogginess. But also no going teetotal.

Let me share with you how.

P.S. I ran this experiment for 252 days, from Jan 2025 to Sept 2025. The changes have stuck. Project debrief is at the end.

First things first...

I've never had an alcohol Problem (with a capital P) - sound familiar?

But in 2024 I had once again slipped into a problem of drinking a little too much of it, too often.

I wasn't addicted.

I wasn't drinking crazy amounts.

I was never downing a bottle of wine at lunch or waking up unsure where I was.

It was a more gradual slide.

A couple too many drinks on a Thursday.

Groggy and tired, powering through Friday.

Still feeling it a little on Saturday morning.

Often a low-key but noticeable drain on my energy, clarity and commitment to playing full out in my work and life.

I knew I was sabotaging myself and that was a problem.

Because I’ve already had one major wake-up call - a sudden, serious stroke at 30.

Since then - lucky to be able to do anything at all - I’ve been obsessed with vitality, performance and intention.

But that happened 15 years ago. Memories fade and habits slip.

So in 2024 every time I felt off the next morning, or caught myself slipping into a pattern of drinking “one too many”, I knew I had moved back into misalignment.

Rewind: From teetotal to cocktail nerd

From 2013 to 2016, I went fully teetotal.

Three years, not a sip of alcohol.

Not even during a 5 star Vegas trip with unlimited alcohol on tap, at our table on David Guetta's stage(!), next to his DJ booth.

That felt superhuman (and so good to fully experience and remember that night) - but it wasn’t hardcore discipline that led to 3 years 100% sober.

First I had to take a 2 week break from booze, after one painful hangover too many.

My first business was going well (after a few false starts), but I was starting to sabotage my progress with late-night nonsense and morning grogginess.

At the time, it felt like a necessary decision - a 2 week break to recharge and reset my relationship with alcohol.

After 2 weeks I felt so good - because I was training and eating fairly clean anyway - that 2 weeks turned into 1 month. 1 month into 3 months, 3 into 6 and so on.

I decided not to drink again until I really felt like it - and that lasted 3 years!

Not drinking in a world geared towards alcohol also felt incredibly powerful.

That's a feeling I'd like everyone to experience sometime in their life.

I also knew by then - and can tell you unequivocally - that from a health perspective, the optimal level of alcohol is ZERO.

Forget the red wine resveratrol "studies" etc. They are flawed and corrupt - a little bit of red wine is not "good for you" (fight me).

The only semi credible argument that can be made is "alcohol is bad for the body, but sometimes good for the soul".

Maybe - due to shared experiences and social connection, although I would argue through experience that is all achievable without alcohol - and without being "boring".

It does involve developing a personality and social skills without an alcohol crutch though 😜. Vanessa Van Edwards is my favourite communication skills expert.

The problem - my problem - with alcohol is that biologically, once we have some it induces us to want more.

That was why my intention to have 1-2 drinks often turned into 3-6 a little too easily.

When I reintroduced alcohol in 2016, it was because I finally "felt like it" and it was for a new reason: connection.

My wife had gotten into cocktails, and I wanted to hang out with her at cocktail bars.

London's cocktail scene was exploding.

Wildly experimental, creative and even mind blowing ("How did they make that drink taste like that?").

It was a mixed drinks version of what had happened in food many years earlier.

We started exploring it together. I wanted to taste the craft, enjoy the ritual and connect over a shared fun experience.

That was the start of a new chapter — not just drinking, but learning 😉.

And hanging out, enjoying the journey of discovery.

After a couple of years of casually enjoying great bars, I went deep.

I read. Experimented. Built a home bar.

I also got to know the growing non-alcoholic scene with pioneering brands like Seedlip and Lucky Saint through my wellness industry work, and got to know incredible friends like legendary no & low alcohol scene trailblazer Camille Vidal (who I met at a wellness brand's launch party at a bar, connecting over a poorly made Old-Fashioned. Never waste a sh*t drink! But don't drink it either 😅).

I’d spend 30 minutes researching a cocktail and 5 minutes making it*.

And I loved it.

*I still do this 😅

But then, eventually... the old patterns started creeping back in.

Not reckless. Not dangerous. Just… not conscious.

I have built the skills to make world-class drinks at home.

We have become friends with incredible bartenders at some of the best bars in the world.

Comped drinks, rare spirits, endless menus.

And suddenly, the occasional grogginess and hangover had crept back in.

This was despite never "drinking socially". I wasn't drinking because there was a drink going. I was drinking only when the alcohol was high quality.

And yet, once again, I knew I was sabotaging myself and that was a problem.

So at the start of 2025, I hit pause.

Something had to change.

I wanted to reset again, but this time I knew I didn't want to stop drinking completely.

However I needed to eliminate grogginess or any risk of hangovers.

Enter: One or None

That’s it. That’s the rule I came up with for myself.

The answer to "How to enjoy alcohol without giving up, but also without risking almost any negative effects - short and long term?"

Every day, I would choose: one alcoholic drink, or none at all.

No topping up. No second pour. No “just this once.”

One or None.

It's brutally simple, but I also knew I'd need a new level of discipline to do it, far more than simply not drinking.

It would mean regularly inducing the biological desire to consume more alcohol after the initial drink, and then having the grit to stop. F*ck.

The idea of developing the mental muscle to effortlessly do that felt both daunting and powerful.

Because it would give me full permission to enjoy a drink - but, if adhered to, removes the possibility of grogginess, regret or bad sleep.

(And yes, I’ve tracked it - my Oura ring data shows my sleep quality starts to dip between 1.5–2 cocktails, and falls off a cliff past 3.)

This rule wouldn’t restrict me - it would free me.

I could still go to the best bars in the world.
I could still explore seasonal menus, rare spirits and creative concoctions.
I could still make killer drinks at home.

But I would never get drunk.

I would never have a hangover.

I would never wake up with regrets.

And the discipline would become a source of power, not punishment.

So... how's it going?

As I publish this (20th May 2025), I’m on Day 136.

Yes... I f*cked it up on January 3rd - I'm not perfect 🫠😅 (as you asked, 3 cocktails mixed expertly at home, and they were exquisite).

Started properly on Jan 4th.

Haven’t slipped since 😎.

Here's how I made it work.

1. Being really clear to myself on WHY I chose to do this, and made it one of my top personal goals for the year.
2. Limiting the scope - 1 year, then I'll evaluate. Worst case I've had a year of less drinking, more focus and a reset relationship with alcohol.
3. Give it a memorable name - a mantra. One or None. Exceptional Alcohol Mastery. I do this with top goals to make them easy to remember.
4. Tracking the days - this is the real secret sauce. I use Habit Tracker, a free iPhone app, to track my daily adherence to my top goals.

Once my streak got to around 20 days, the temptation to break it started fading away.

At 136, there's just no way I'm going back to zero.

I hadn't planned this, but I also started keeping a drinks journal on my phone's Notes app.

I know exactly how many drinks I’ve had this year.

Not just that - I’ve logged what I drank, where I was, and why it mattered.

Because I realised: those “amazing” cocktails I used to drink, 4-6 in a session?

A few months later, I couldn’t even remember half of them, only that I "had drank amazing drinks".

Now, every drink is documented, and it's fun to look back at.

And gamified.

My “drinking day ratio” is a live stat in my head - so that I'm happy with the number of days I have consumed alcohol.

It’s no longer about restriction.

It’s about the fun of tracking progress and the joy of remembering standout moments - which every well made cocktail, sip of rare spirit or glass of fine wine represents (otherwise - if it's just run of the mill alcohol - why ingest it all?).

This has rewired the whole experience.

And here’s what’s changed beyond the numbers:

• My physical and mental energy is strong (fitness also plays a part, but I'm never "too groggy to work out" anymore - no excuses).
• I’m more intentional than ever about what I drink - it has to be worth the one slot.
• I’ve broken the old scarcity mindset of “I need to try a few things on this menu today, I don't know when I'm coming back here!”
• I feel clear, focused, and proud - especially when I sit at a bar post-drink, sipping a non-alc or soda water with lime, knowing I’ve chosen power over impulse. Future Niraj is winning.
• Every bartender I’ve told about One or None has respected it. Many have loved it.
• I’ve even saved money - not a major motivator for me, but at £15–20 a cocktail, it adds up quickly.

But most importantly - this effortless discipline has started to spill over into other areas.

It’s not just about alcohol.

It’s about energy as a strategy.
Discipline as a superpower.
Focus as a competitive edge.

In a world where everyone is trying to do more, faster - I want to do less, better.
One or None is a symbol of that.

It’s not for everyone.

But if you want to stay sharp, feel superhuman and never trade tomorrow’s potential for tonight’s impulse - it might be for you.

Project Debrief - October 2025

I played by the rules above for 252 days straight in the end, until Sept 2025.

When I broke the streak, I was with friends in Budapest and decided I fancied another drink, and trusted myself.

It turned into 4 drinks over 6 hours, very controlled, all previous undesired habits gone, and no discernible knock on effect the next day.

It's been a few weeks since then, and the habits have stuck.

I regularly go 5-10 days without any alcohol, and sometimes up to 14 days with the One or None rules (as I still track it).

When I do have a drink, there's no urge to have another 2-3. If I have more than one, it's controlled, conscious and the next day isn't lost.

Future me is winning, and present me gets to enjoy the moment.

All in all, it was a worthy experiment and successful rewiring.

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25th Feb 2010: 15 years ago today I was 30 years old, lying drugged up in a hospital bed, blindsided by a sudden, serious stroke - a cerebellar infarct.

The kind that most people don't recover well from.

The kind that shatters lives.

Somehow, through dumb luck and developing levels of resilience I didn't know I had, I clawed my way back.

Today I'm 99% recovered, and the last 15 years have been the best of my life.

• I've built multiple businesses
• invested in and advised even more
• managed millions in successful real estate deals
• become recognised as a brain, mind and wellness expert
• worked my butt off
• and most importantly, filled my life with experiences and people that truly matter to me.

And I'm just getting started.

I try not to take anything for granted.

To mark 15 years since that life altering day, here are 15 hard won lessons.

Some I’ve fully embraced; others, I’m still learning and re-learning. Each one has shaped who I am today.

If even one of these serves you, it’s worth sharing.

The first 5 I wrote 10 years ago - word for word - when I first spoke about my stroke in my first ever blog post.

I was so scared to publish it, but I'm glad I did. It led to a huge positive ripple effect for me and others.

Those 5 observations seem even more relevant today.

The next 10 are 10 new things I've internalised over the last 10 years.

Here we go...

The original 5 lessons:

1 - Your choice of life partner is probably the most important decision you will ever make so make it carefully and wisely.

2 - Life is fragile. Anything can happen to anyone at anytime so don’t put off doing the things that are truly important to you.

3 - To live in a Western democratic nation is to truly win the global demographic lottery and the only true “luck” — I detest being called “lucky” for any other reason other than that or being physically and mentally intact after suffering a stroke. The opportunities open to us to make anything of ourselves are ridiculously abundant if one just has the courage to see and take them and the urgency to realise they need to be acted on or lost. As the saying goes: “Everyone is self made, but only the successful ones will admit it”.

4 - Commitment should never be underestimated. Everything changed for me when I committed to one sector and some simple goals, cutting off all other distractions and ideas so that I could focus completely on my outcomes.

5 - Vitality — the state of being strong and active — is everything and without it we may as well have nothing. Everyone has heard that “health is everything” but most people subconsciously define health as the absence of illness — that’s as ridiculous as defining wealth as the absence of poverty.

The next 10 new lessons:

6 - Having a direction matters. Lying in that hospital bed, unable to use my legs, I decided that I was going to get back on a snowboard within 12 months. I had zero knowledge if that was going to be possible for me. But I decided. That goal got me through some tough rehab sessions and falls. It was key to my mental recovery.

7 - A heightened knowledge of brain / mind health and performance has been an incredible advantage for me. Not just in business, but in life, happiness and stress management. It is worth investing time and effort to understand how your grey matter works.

8 - A negativity cull is a great spring clean. Fresh out of the hospital, I went through my Facebook friends list and started hitting ‘unfriend’ on anyone who brought more drama than value. Harsh? Maybe. Back in 2010, that was a bold move but I knew I needed to be surrounded by positivity for my recovery. It set the tone for my real life too. Energy is contagious.

9 - Better mentors make an outsized difference. When I committed to the real estate industry, I sought out the best I could find to teach me. Not just any, the best available to me. Yoga - same. Meditation - same. Snowboarding - same. Working out - same. Entrepreneurship - same. Is it a surprise I've attained some skill in those disciplines? I'm still stunned at how many people settle for any teacher. With a bit of digging you can find the best, often without breaking the bank. Can't find the right mentors locally? Some of my greatest teachers were just a podcast, book or online course away.

10 - Learning to write is a cheat code. It forces me to get clear on my thoughts, communicate better and become more self-aware. Every blog post, comment and email has been a tool for sharpening my mind. Note to self: write more, publish more, overthink less.

11 - How people react is mostly to do with them, not you. Some people want to improve and grow. Others are trapped in complaining and blaming. Neither are much to do with you. Don't let it stop you doing good things. You never know whose life you might touch, even if they never tell you.

12- You only get one life - don’t let someone else’s opinions write your story. Fear of judgment held me back from writing about my stroke for years. Once it’s out there, it’s out there. Sometimes it’s still a struggle. Today, I catch myself worrying about how our life might be perceived - the incredible experiences, the serious luxuries. It’s why I often hold back from sharing the details of how we travel, where we stay or what we do. But if sharing those stories could help someone, it’s worth it.

A dear friend of mine lives by the mantra: “Do no harm, take no sh1t.” I’ll add to that: “Share what could be useful.” Those simple filters help guide me on what to share online.

13 - Everything isn't going to work, and that's ok. I've had a handful of crushing "failures", that were incredibly hard to navigate as they unfolded. I survived because I never took a risk that could sink me. Protecting the downside and asymmetric risk/reward are essential concepts to understand and apply.

14 - Curiosity is an underrated superpower. I'm training myself to ask questions instead of making statements. Statements satisfy my ego - questions open up opportunities to learn and connect. Curiosity is not a trait, it's a strategy.

15 - What's useful matters more than what's "true". Lying in that hospital bed, spaced out and unable to walk, I clung to one belief: “Everything happens for a reason that serves me.” It’s a ridiculous idea - there’s no rational basis for it. But I wasn’t searching for truth; I was searching for strength. That belief became a lens, through which over the years I turned my darkest moment into the biggest stroke of good fortune I’ve had so far.

That's all folks. Next update? Probably in 5 years!

Since 2010, my focus has been on:

1) Building businesses and finding ways to create more freedom and financial success, for myself and others.

2) Understanding the human brain and mind, fuelled by my sudden, serious stroke at 30.

My entrance into entrepreneurship came with a heightened awareness of brain health - because I started after a literal brain meltdown.

Looking back, that was my biggest stroke of good fortune.

Why?

Because performing at my highest level mentally has always been directly connected to keeping my sanity - and succeeding in business (and life).

And every day, more entrepreneurs are waking up to this.

Among the top entrepreneurial circles I’m part of - 7, 8, and 9-figure founders worldwide - I see the shift. Every year, late-night partying gets a little less wild and wellness practices become a little more prevalent.

Every year, the sands shift more toward performance, resilience and actually feeling good.

It’s a welcome evolution.

So... (drumroll), here's what's next:

Why is mental performance important here?

3 reasons:

1. For me personally, as I scale my next entrepreneurial Everest.
2. For the business owners I work with, to unpack the psychology of an exit- not just the mechanics, but the emotional journey before, during and after.
3. For everyone, to remove the veil, change the language and perspective, and and understand why working toward exit readiness is vital for founder wellbeing—whether you plan to sell or not.

It's a mindset shift from fear to focus.

What if exit readiness wasn’t just about selling your business - but also about setting yourself free from it, mentally and physically?

What if crafting a North Star and a plan meant you never had to sell, but in the process, you stopped being a slave to your business?

✅ Your nervous system calms.
✅ You regulate emotions better.
✅ You start to thrive under pressure.

Separating our "self" from our business isn’t just practical; it’s vital for founder wellbeing.

It means a bad review doesn’t wreck your week.

It means your identity isn’t tied to the inevitable evolution of your business.

It means owning your business, instead of it owning you.

And when the time comes - because in the end things always change - you have the option to sell without losing yourself in the process.

And yes, it also means having the mental clarity (and confidence) to start sentences with and, with zero f’s given 😎 (come at me, grammar police).

All easier said than done? Of course. But it can be done.

I’ll be sharing what I know, see and learn - no BS - as I deepen my work in mental performance, entrepreneurship, and personal growth.

Professionally...

*M&A Advisor = dude or dudette that sells your business, or advises you through it.

Selling a business is one of the biggest transitions a founder can go through.

It’s more than just a financial deal—it’s a psychological, strategic and deeply personal shift.

And how it’s handled can be the difference between a fulfilling next chapter… or massive regret.

In the past year of trying to buy a business, I’ve seen firsthand how poorly small and medium-sized business sales (under $100M revenue, especially under $25M) are handled.

It’s been almost 15 years since my awakening—my stroke - a moment that forever changed how I think about time, decision-making and what truly matters.

Since then, my obsession with the mind, performance and personal growth has only deepened.

And in working closely with business owners, I’ve seen how much mental roadblocks, emotional attachment and decision fatigue get in the way - not just of successfully selling a business, but of running one well in the first place.

So, my next chapter is clear: Helping business owners not just sell their businesses, but do so in a way that maximises both value and peace of mind.

This means approaching exits strategically, yes - but also understanding the deeper psychology behind when, why and how to let go. Because an exit isn’t just a financial event; it’s a huge personal transition.

This is just the beginning.

If you’re thinking about selling - whether it’s soon or years away - let’s talk (n at nirajs dot com).

The best exits aren’t rushed, they’re planned. Let's get yours right.

Wanderlust.com published an interview with me about travelling during 2020, quite early in the Covid-19 pandemic.

These plane travel tips (and meditation tips) are still highly relevant today.

The original interview is reproduced below.

It's also screenshotted at the end if you prefer to read that (click to expand then zoom in, it reads best on desktop) and can also be found on Wanderlust.com's journal here at the time of writing (October 2024).

--

Travelling in 2020: Niraj Shah

Car Free Day London 2019 Meditation Teacher and Mind:Unlocked founder Niraj Shah shares his experience of travelling from London to Greece this August (2020, during the pandemic) and gives practical advice on how to stay calm and grounded if you choose vacation over a staycation this year.

Travelling in the times of pandemic! Was it a trip you booked in advance or a last-minute decision?

We made a late decision for this particular trip, but not a reckless or rushed one. My wife and I had booked three different fully cancellable short flights in July, August & September, but then decided that it made more sense to base ourselves in one place, to live and work from for a month. We can both work remotely and it’s normal for us to combine work and travel. We went from idea to rapid research to securing the ideal villa and flights in 36 hours!

Did you feel anxious at all?

No. We’re very experienced, regular air passengers and pre-pandemic plane travel wasn’t a stressful experience for us. We had already travelled once in the pandemic – to Mallorca, Spain in early July – so we also knew that our regular airline had good COVID measures in place. Importantly, we don’t have any other health conditions to consider or kids to look after. Either of those would have likely stopped us travelling by plane.

Additionally, we’re staying in a quiet part of a remote island (Rhodes, Greece), so we’re naturally distanced from crowds too. We’re aware of the worst-case scenarios in terms of lockdowns, quarantines and potential illness and have taken precautions that we feel comfortable with. Risk-based decision making with incomplete information is a regular feature of our business lives, that we also apply to our personal lives. 

How was the vibe on the plane, at the airport – could you feel the intense energy or was it mellow, as usual?

We travelled on a Saturday morning in August, so Heathrow airport was busy! That said, the vibe felt pretty good to me. Airport staff seemed happy to be back at work and fellow passengers looked generally quite relaxed, all things considered. I have heard anecdotally that not all airport experiences in the pandemic have been as pleasant, so we may have got lucky.

You prepared really well for the trip. What exactly did you take with you?

For years I’ve travelled with a high quality 100% blackout sleep mask, earphones and a light hoodie. I see planes as one of the last bastions of WiFi free rest! The mandatory COVID face mask pleasantly completed the cocoon effect in a way that didn’t feel claustrophobic. I’m used to meditating on planes, but this combination helped me to internalise even faster and deeper. It was the closest I’ve felt to meditating either in a significantly quieter environment or a flotation tank, without actually being in a flotation tank. I’ll be continuing with it long after this pandemic is a distant memory.

And of course, you meditated! Did you focus on anything in particular during your pre-travel practice? Has meditation helped to relax on the plane too?

I LOVE meditating on planes. There’s no WiFi so that takes a major life distraction away, and it’s a really good way to zone out and journey inwards. Meditation undoubtedly helps to relax on planes, and I like the juxtaposition of turning what could have been a stressful experience into a deeply nourishing one. It’s incredibly freeing to learn and know that we have huge power over how we shape our subjective experiences.

In terms of my focus, in my experience as a teacher and guide of multiple meditation styles, the best meditation styles or techniques for each individual vary greatly based on each of our own lifestyles, goals, cognitive histories and preferences, so I don’t think sharing my focus on this occasion will be very helpful.

Meditation is as unique and individual as we are, there’s no one size fits all meditation style! For meditators or meditation learners, just try to do whatever it is you are practicing or learning at the moment and be kind to yourself.

Remember that a major brain growth opportunity in most meditative styles actually happens when you notice that you’ve become distracted and then you gently bring your focus back to whatever it was you were intentionally doing. That’s the opposite of the unhelpful idea that we need to clear our minds or try to think of nothing!

Bringing our focus back is doing a rep in the mental gym, it’s training our minds to go where we tell them to. That’s not an abstract “woo woo’ statement, it’s how our brains physically develop new neural networks that lead to new behaviours (in this case, increasing our ability to intentionally focus).

For those who are choosing vacation over staycation, but still feel anxious, what would be the solutions to bring more calmness to the experience of travelling in 2020?

• If someone is feeling very anxious about air travel, I think it’s better not to do it. There are so many beautiful places in our home countries, that we often overlook, and now there’s a chance to discover them by road or rail.If someone is really determined to travel by plane or they are in a situation where they decide to go along with it, then the following things can all bring more calmness to travelling in 2020:
• Get to the airport early, leave plenty of time for unexpected delays. It sounds so simple, but for most people just giving ourselves that gift of a little bit of space and time can take so much of the stress associated with travel away.
• Be mindful that you may encounter others who are feeling stressed, and more importantly that their behaviour has nothing to do with you. Everyone is being triggered more than usual, so it’s more important than ever to have the intention to diffuse situations rather than escalate them. This is a good thing to keep in mind whatever we’re doing and wherever we’re doing it.
• Have a plan for food. Know your airline’s current food and drink policy – particularly for longer flights –  and take some of your own anyway so that you aren’t as susceptible to last-minute changes.
• Have a plan for your mind. That plan could be meditation, it could be reading a book, it could be writing. My plan is generally meditation and sleep, and perhaps reading or watching a movie depending on how long the flight is. It doesn’t matter what your plan is, it matters that you have a focus for your mind that takes you away from the fact that you are in close proximity to strangers, as it’s been credibly suggested that it’s that close proximity to strangers which feeds most of our air travel anxiety.
• Smile – everyone can clock a smile, even through face masks. It alleviates our own tension, it helps alleviate others’ tension. Everything we do has a ripple effect. What’s your ripple effect going to be

—

Niraj is known for his science-led, practical and personal approach to meditation; helping people around the world to integrate this powerful mental well-being habit into their modern, unique lives. He combines his interest in brain health, emotional well-being and technology with a love of travel and snowboarding. You can connect with him via Instagram or Mind: Unlocked.

--

The original interview is screenshotted below (click to expand then zoom in, it reads best on desktop) and can also be found at https://wanderlust.com/journal/travel-with-niraj-shah at the time of writing (October 2024).

Action.

In the end it's the only thing that actually makes any difference to anything, in any circumstance, ever.

That's a lesson that has taken me a long time to learn.

In the past I placed far too much value on talking a good game, lofty intentions, chest thumping passion etc - both my own and from others.

Friendships have failed because of a lack of action.

Business relationships have failed because of a lack of action.

I ended a mentor:mentee relationship because the mentee always talked a good game but consistently failed to act on their "commitments".

If I'd just observed their lack of action and ignored the noise coming out of their mouth, I would have saved myself a LOT of wasted time and energy.

Now I've learned to pay a lot less attention to what I tell myself I'm going to do or what others tell me they're going to do.

I don't trust words, I trust action.

My first ever blog post, published in May 2015, unexpectedly went viral.

It turns out it resonated with many.

This updated prelude comes after the COVID-19 pandemic of 2020-2022.

Pressing publish on that post meant a huge deal to me.

I wanted to tell my friends and family the story behind the sudden, serious stroke I had suffered five years prior at just 30, but up until then it had been incredibly difficult for me to even talk about.

Writing was the only way I could avoid deeply uncomfortable, painful in-person conversations about it.

I wasn’t prepared for what happened next.

The post was on a free WordPress site — you can see how rough around the edges it is — and was solely intended as an easy way for my family and friends to read it.

It hadn’t considered that it even could go viral. Why would strangers want to read about me?

It got shared, I got hundreds of messages from around the world and strangers donated to my fundraiser to smash my target.

In hindsight it was an incredibly cathartic event for me, signalling the last part in my healing and the start of my current professional journey in well-being.

Today I am much more comfortable talking about this all, but I rarely manage to share the story as eloquently as I did in this post.

The full, unedited post right down to its lack of images is below.

It’s a long read, but one I think you will find both rewarding and useful in your own life. Thank you for listening to my story.

--

A stroke of good fortune…. (first published 12 May 2015)

I feel the time might be right to share this story of my last 5 years for two reasons:

1. A lot of my friends, family & business colleagues know roughly what happened to me 5 years ago but only a few know much of the detail. Many people who know me don’t know at all as I’ve found this subject extremely difficult to talk about but I’ve always wanted people to know. Partly because it’s an important chapter in my life and although I rarely want to talk about it in person I do want you to know, but also because….
2. I’m doing the Tough Mudder event on 30th May, my first event of any kind since a few fun runs as a kid, and I am raising money for those who have not been as incredibly fortunate as I have to recover to full health let alone consider doing a challenging event like Tough Mudder.

This is a long-ish post! So grab a coffee, tea or my favourite drink, sparkling water with fresh lime and read on. My sincere apologies to those who are learning about this for the first time in this way, I’d rather have told you in person but I still find it extremely difficult to relive some of the details.

Just over 5 years ago, in February 2010, at the age of 30 I was getting ready to go to my job when I suddenly collapsed; in a split-second I had lost the ability to stand and was throwing up violently. I was home alone as Khushi was working in Switzerland just like she largely does to this day. Somehow I had the presence of mind to call 999 and had just about enough words and speech ability for them to be able to reach me quickly. On reflection I was extremely lucky to have kept both my consciousness and my abilities to think and act.

I was rushed in an ambulance to our closest A&E department at St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington. The doctors reassured me that I most likely had a very nasty ear infection such as tinnitus, which throws one’s balance off but would subside in 24–48 hours and they wanted to run some tests as a precaution. I was too drugged up and groggy to think about it much. By the evening I had been stabilised and Khushi was by my side.

The next day the doctors informed me that they had some worse than expected news… I had suffered a full-blown stroke. A cerebellar infarct to be accurate — a rare but serious type of stroke. When they told me that, I didn’t actually know what a stroke was, except that it happened to much older people, right?? I learned it was a type of brain injury caused by a temporary loss of bloodflow to the brain and that a part of my brain was now permanently dead.

The part of my brain that controlled my balance had died and I had lost the “knowledge” of how to walk — although I could still feel muscle strength in my legs I could not move them. We had a lot less visibility on what other brain damage may have occurred. I was coherent and could think but could not move my lower body and felt extremely tired.

As it happens, St Mary’s has one of the best Stroke Units in the country and this was the NHS at it’s very best, I had the most incredible care. They kept me for just over 2 weeks during which time they ran every possible test including some real outliers to try and understand the cause and then they ran them again for good measure. Being such an apparent rarity I also became a popular daily visit for groups of medical students and I had fun talking to them. By week two I was laughing and joking with them, testing them on their knowledge of my condition.

—

Although my father passed away from a sudden heart attack at the far too young age of 47, we have no family history of strokes or any other type of brain injury. In the year preceding this I had been leading a relatively healthy life, with a fairly low alcohol consumption, regular exercise, reasonably healthy eating habits and definitely was not stressed. The conclusion of the multitude of tests was that there was no conclusion. I had to treat it like being in a plane crash — just extremely bad luck for no specific reason. This has been one of the hardest things for me to reconcile, as the question “Why did this happen to me?” essentially has no answer. I have struggled with this most days over the last 5 years.

I have long held an unshakeable belief that everything happens for a reason that serves me, and it is largely that belief coupled with the incredible unconditional love and support of my wife, family and closest friends that got me through the emotional rollercoaster of the next few months.

Barely three months earlier in December 2009 I had made a firm decision that 2010 would be my last year working for somebody else and that come what may by 30 November 2010 at the very latest I would be handing my 1 month’s notice in. In the post credit crunch world I had become completely disillusioned with my work as a corporate headhunter and really struggled to find any more fulfilment or personal growth in it. Like many others I had decided that my career was not doing anything particularly good for the world or building the path to real wealth, two extremely important things to me.

I had started spending my evenings and weekends researching business ideas and how to go about starting my own enterprise. The one thing I repeatedly wished for was the time and space to do that properly — take it from me; you should be careful what you wish for!

I got released from hospital with the knowledge that statistically I was in a very bad place for the next two years, a partially recovered ability to walk, energy like a broken rechargeable battery, some very dark thoughts and a strict order to never miss a day of medication in my life. To this day I never have and hopefully never will.

Suddenly I had all the time in the world. All I did for the next 3 months was read, think, sleep (every afternoon!) and re-learn how to walk. I couldn’t really go anywhere or do anything physical except yoga. I started devouring business books and writing down my thoughts, ideas and goals. I still devour business books, write down my ideas & goals and practice yoga regularly today.

Within a few weeks I could walk properly, unaided and unaccompanied. Within 12 months I was flying down a sun kissed, snow covered piste on a snowboard again which is a fantastic test of balance and for me to this day the ultimate feeling of freedom and zen. The human brain and body is incredible. My elder brother Ajay, a talented doctor, had explained to me that although the part of my brain that controls balance was permanently dead the other functions of the brain would take over and artificially “recreate” it. That is exactly what happened and I can’t consciously tell any difference, although those who’ve seen me snowboarding may beg to differ!

I had prayed and wished for time and space and now I had it. After a 6 month recovery period I knew physically I was pretty much back to normal. Mentally I had some memory loss issues and some of my memories are gone forever, but I knew there was nothing to stop me getting on with my life. I had made a firm commitment to myself that I was quitting my job by November at the latest so there was no point whatsoever in going back in September and fortunately we had made some good decisions a few years before that meant we had the financial flexibility for me not to go back.

I spent the next 18 months researching and acting on several ideas in the health & fitness and technology industries whilst also working for a couple of start-ups but by the end of 2011 had got nowhere tangible with it. That was incredibly frustrating as I had been very active and doing lots of things, in hindsight I just didn’t have the experience to know what to do and it seems every entrepreneur goes through a similar “learning” phase.

I also learned that I have an incredible life partner. Whilst Khushi’s career was going from strength to strength as she was named a junior partner in a global strategy consulting firm before the age of 30, she never once questioned what I was doing or suggested I should get a job. I guess that’s what true faith is, she believed in me and could also see I was active and trying things. We joke about the time she once made a throwaway comment to me that “shouldn’t you be buying and refurbishing a property or something?” 🙂 Listening would have saved me some time!

At the start of 2012 I turned to property largely out of desperation and frustration. I had one more throw of the dice before I’d have to get a job for my own sanity. I had no interest in the property industry but as an experienced investor I knew it was an extremely sensible place to go. I decided I would commit and focus for 12 months with no other distractions, and I’ve never looked back.

The real estate sector has worked out well for me. I could never have imagined that I would be involved in some of the projects I’ve done or been part of so far. I’ve built a niche property business that gives me great cashflow with little day to day involvement, we have a strong asset base of several properties now, I’ve moved into small property development projects as well as joint ventures with larger developers, co-founded a peer to peer lending business (www.CrowdProperty.com where everyone can get up to a 10% return on their money from just £500 upwards) and generally learned a lot about the business world.

I’m conscious this post is already long, so for those interested there are more details on my business life and career in this article and on my LinkedIn page (please do connect to me there too).

Most importantly I am healthy and happy. The other type of book I devoured after the stroke were health books, I took it upon myself to learn everything I could about this subject from exercise to nutrition to energy and so on. Even though there was no cause identified, I needed to give myself the best chance of it not happening again. Currently I’m easily in the best shape I have been for over 10 years but still have some way to go to get to where I want to be physically. It is now within reach though and Tough Mudder is a part of that journey that I’m really looking forward to.

Mentally it’s been tough. I’ve rarely talked about what happened to me to anyone but my closest friends and associates. I know now that it took between 2–3 years to make a “full” mental recovery (well 99%, I’ve accepted that I may not fully get over this but I’ve also made peace with that) and certainly finding some modest business success was a massive factor in that as it helped give me a sense of purpose and self worth again.

I’ve alluded to dark thoughts, in those first 2 years I was in such a bad place statistically that I held the subconscious belief that I would almost certainly suffer another stroke and I am pretty sure that sabotaged some of my earlier business efforts. At the same time, consciously I held on to the belief that IF nothing else happens then this stroke is the best stroke of good fortune I’ve ever had and I stand by that belief today.

I woudn’t wish what I’ve been through on my worst enemy, yet it’s also been the making of me as a person. I don’t think it’s fundamentally changed me but it’s definitely sharpened a few thoughts. Some of the major lessons I’ve learned (i.e. beliefs I’ve now adopted and ingrained) over the last 5 years are:

• Your choice of life partner is probably the most important decision you will ever make so make it carefully and wisely.
• Life is fragile. Anything can happen to anyone at anytime so don’t put off doing the things that are truly important to you.
• To live in a Western democratic nation is to truly win the global demographic lottery and the only true “luck” — I detest being called “lucky” for any other reason other than that or being physically and mentally intact after suffering a stroke. The opportunities open to us to make anything of ourselves are ridiculously abundant if one just has the courage to see and take them and the urgency to realise they need to be acted on or lost. As the saying goes: “Everyone is self made, but only the successful ones will admit it”.
• Commitment should never be underestimated. Everything changed for me when I committed to one sector and some simple goals, cutting off all other distractions and ideas so that I could focus completely on my outcomes.
• Vitality — the state of being strong and active — is everything and without it we may as well have nothing. Everyone has heard that “health is everything” but most people subconsciously define health as the absence of illness — that’s as ridiculous as defining wealth as the absence of poverty.

That leads me on to possibly my most meaningful learning so far. Almost all of the major health problems sweeping the world today are largely preventable. Heart disease, cancer, stroke and mental illness are largely preventable in many cases and of course obesity, a major trigger for all of those conditions, is almost 100% preventable. The problem is twofold:

1. Actions in our 20s and 30s generally have consequences sometimes up to 40 years later in our 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s — not everyone is lucky enough to have the hard reality hit them squarely in the jaw at 30!
2. There are many parties such as governments, various food companies, pharmaceutical companies, the alcohol and tobacco industries and many others who have a vested interest in muddying the truth.

The upside is that by adopting certain food and exercise habits people can live with more energy and vitality today than they could ever imagine possible as well as protecting their healthy longevity. Every day I wake up with more energy and verve than when I was 25 and it just feels incredible. It’s a major part of the reason why my productivity in business and enjoyment of life has shot through the roof in these last few years. The last 3 years have quite easily been the best years of my life, each year getting better and better as I feel younger and younger!

That brings me onto my conclusion, for now. Whilst I will continue doing property projects for the next 20+ years, I am shifting my focus to the health/wellness or healthcare industries. I see them as a place where I can have a lot of positive impact in the world and they also have some favourable business characteristics, not least being growth markets as people are integrating them more and more into their lives.

In the meantime, it’s rare to have a stroke that also seems to be a such a stroke of good fortune, let alone be able bodied and minded to even tell this story. It seems right to raise money for the Stroke Association who do incredible work in supporting stroke victims less fortunate than me and their families.

If you agree with me please do donate generously here. (April 2020 note — link no longer accepts donations)

Thank you for reading and I hope something I have written resonates with you to take positive action to improve your health and life right now. I would love to hear the thoughts of anyone who has read this far whether we talk all the time or I haven’t heard from you in years, please feel free to email me or message me through the contact form below.

All the best and thank you for reading,

Niraj

EDIT: I was a little unsure whether to actually publish and share this blog post, I’ve always been quite self conscious and this story is very personal. This morning (12th May), hours after writing the post, I saw this story trending on BBC news which made my mind up for me. Perhaps it was a sign.

— —

Epilogue: May 2015 onwards:

As a whistle-stop tour, from May 2015 I spent the next two years getting to know the wellness industry through mentoring a number of wellness entrepreneurs and also investing in a few, whilst re-organising and scaling down my property business so I could be less involved.

In 2017 I started an experimental mental well-being side project and also began helping a non-profit network of Silicon Valley based mental health technology entrepreneurs with big dreams to increase their global reach.

My focus for the next several years was to have as much positive impact on as many people around the world’s mental health and emotional well-being as possible.

I can proudly say that I achieved some impact there. Meanwhile I've continued to do property deals in the background during the whole period 2015-2024.

2017 to 2021 - built Mind: Unlocked, a science-led online mental wellbeing platform. We worked with the likes of Amazon, Starbucks, Cisco, EY and more and positively impacted people around the world. We sold the IP to global employee wellbeing platform Tictrac in 2021.

2018 to 2021 - Honoured to serve as European Co-Chair of Silicon Valley's Transformative Technology Lab. TTL is the leading global community for start-ups and companies developing medically and scientifically validated technologies that support mental health, emotional wellbeing and human thriving.

2021 onwards - co-founded DSO, a blockchain / sports tech start-up. An opportunity came up to work with great people in a real estate and wellness related venture. Our core thesis is to unlock unprecedented value for both sports fans and team owners, through tokenising real stadium seats.

This website is where I will continue to share the best of what I'm learning in entrepreneurship, mental performance and personal growth.

Thanks for reading!

The Reluctant Property Investor (published in July 2014)

Niraj Shah, a relative newcomer to property investment talks with the PIN editor Richard Bowser

first met up with Niraj Shah at a London property event, just under three years ago. At that point he had yet to purchase any investment property but since then he has made some very positive investments and is now doing some decent sized development projects.

I asked Niraj about his career experience prior to our first meeting in 2012.

"I spent nearly 10 years in the recruitment industry," he replies, "mostly headhunting mid to senior traders on behalf of global investment banks, whilst investing in stocks and shares in my spare time. Recruitment taught me all about creating revenue from scratch, business ethics (I was lucky to mostly work for firms who had them!), managing people and building businesses. I also transacted a lot of business in Asia, travelling there regularly and living in Hong Kong for a while. It was very lucrative and fun work."

What sort of funds did you start out with?

"My investment experience started in 1998 with £1,000 left from my first year university student loan, which I invested in shares. Over the 16 years since I've constantly added more funds and returns to that pot, made some mistakes and learned how to successfully invest. Now I hold strong investments in a handful of businesses and occasionally put capital into a high growth firm or start-up."

When did you obtain your first property?

"In 2006 my wife and I bought a run- down flat in a very affluent part of London. Our logic was to create value by extensively refurbishing it and to live in a place which was to our personal liking. Buying and refurbishing it whilst we worked very long hours, travelled a lot and knew nothing about property was a fairly stressful experience! This was my only experience in property until 2012.

In 2010 I had made a firm decision to leave the corporate world to start a business and circumstances quickly conspired to create that opportunity. Over the next 18 months I worked in a couple of early stage technology businesses to learn whilst trying out some ideas of my own. I became very frustrated because I had worked extremely hard but failed to get any tangible results to show for it.

"I had no interest in property but turned to it at the start of 2012 firstly because we needed to get started with property investments and secondly after analysing the sector it became clear that it was an incredibly sensible area to focus on. It was a calculated move but one borne out of deep frustration and desperation - I had to make it work or go back to corporate life."

What happened next?

"I was quite open- minded about what to do in property, and explored ideas like opening an estate agency or starting a property technology business amongst others.

I started immersing myself in the sector by meeting everyone I knew in property and devouring every property book that I could get my hands on. A lot of people told me that although they had done well in property it was not a good environment to start.

I then met with a childhood friend, Tushar Shah, who had built a great portfolio with a high level of cashflow in just two years. Naturally I was curious as to how he had done it when so many others were telling me that the recessionary environment at that time made it impossible to succeed.

Tushar had done a comprehensive property course and this was the first time I'd heard about a property education industry! I meticulously researched the main offerings and decided that whilst a big investment, Simon Zutshi's course would give me faster access to experienced people and help me progress more rapidly with less mistakes.

From March to May 2012 I researched all of the main strategies whilst simultaneously seeking out and building relationships with great solicitors, brokers, accountants and other investors. I worked out what I should focus on and where to invest based on my desired outcomes and resources."

Where did you decide to invest?

"After some deliberation I chose to build an Inner London based portfolio of high-end houses of multiple occupation (HMOs) to create recurring cashflow that didn't require on- going hard work to keep.

I didn't find the idea of building a HMO portfolio very appealing in itself, but I wanted to own the assets. The only area that actually interested me in property was 'development'. To me that's the process of owning or controlling a property, adding huge value to it and then exiting my initial cash outlay through a sale or refinance."

Choosing an HMO as ones first investment property is not what too many people do as the management side can be quite demanding, so I asked Niraj what made him choose this approach and why did he pick the ones he did?

"I became very clear on a model that I thought would work, targeting properties within a 20 minute door-to-door commuting time of Canary Wharf, east London in which I could create 5 to 6 rooms netting a monthly profit per property of £1,500+ after all costs including voids, maintenance and management.

There was much more to it than that of course, but those were the basic criteria. I got a very detailed understanding of what would work and was regularly walking the streets to really get familiar with the local areas; this is a key factor in London where rental and sale values can vary dramatically from street to street and property type to property type."

Can you explain just why you chose the Canary Wharf area?

Niraj continued: "The cash flow forecasts for my model were strong and there was huge large-scale infrastructure improvements and regeneration happening in those areas, which bodes well for the longer-term asset values.

I particularly targeted Newham E16 knowing that Article 4 legislation that would require planning permission for HMOs was coming soon. As an experienced investor but at that time of course not in property, I really couldn't believe others were shying away from a product whose supply growth was about to be dramatically reduced whilst long-term demand for high quality rooms in shared houses was clearly rising.

Those first couple of multi-lets have proved to be tremendous buys for the cashflow alone, never mind the dramatic capital appreciation which I won't even think about until it I refinance the properties next year."

I asked Niraj about the lessons he learnt from those HMO properties.

"Once I had a very clear idea of what would work for me," he replies, "my best decision was deciding the worst-case return I would accept for the first deal and as soon as that deal appeared I jumped on it.

Moving quickly was critical - I got the phone call offering the deal on a Thursday whilst in New York. If I'd waited until I returned on Monday I knew the deal would be gone so I researched, negotiated and closed it within 24 hours through the help of a trusted fellow investor viewing it for me and then sending me pictures and his report. With less clarity and hunger I would have lost that deal.

My advice to newcomers is to get clear on what the worst deal they are willing to do is and as soon as that deal comes along, then just do it. To be clear I would not advise anyone to do a bad deal, simply to be very clear about what the worst-case return they're willing to accept is.

My priority was cashflow but my interest was in property development. I wanted to focus mainly on one thing, so I spent 80% of my time on HMOs and 20% on finding developers to work with.

I found a couple of great experienced developers and brought a combination of capital, time and resources to them in return for a small slice of a deal, and more importantly the chance to spend time with them to learn as much as possible. This was a great move as it helped me do better refurbishments on my HMOs as well as learn the mechanics of the deals I wanted to go on to do myself."

And with hindsight what might have you done differently?

"In terms of doing things differently there's not that much I would change. I've worked very hard, with focus and strong reasons to make this work. It took a few months to accept that transactions take time and the property sector does not move as fast as I want it to move.

In hindsight I really wish I had got into property many years earlier. I just had no interest in it before; I thought it was a boring sector but I didn't know just how interesting it could be.

There is huge fulfilment in providing people with a quality home that is the best they can find in their budget and there is almost as much satisfaction in watching the rents roll in month after month without needing to keep working for them!"

What's your current plan for progressing your property ventures?

"My HMO portfolio is now very systemised and it is managed by an outstanding property manager who took me a long time to find. I have no plans to grow it in the short term but if I see another property asset that fits our model then I'll buy it."

I ask Niraj what's he been doing this year.

"Since the start of 2014 my focus has been to build my property development business, Indus Valley Property. We have our first deals underway, which include a great refurbishment project in Hammersmith with a GDV of £700k+ and a couple more projects that are close to exchange but I don't like to talk about deals publicly until I've locked them in. The plan is to keep growing each subsequent deal's value with the goal of operating in the +£2m space in a few deals time.

I'm still doing joint ventures with developers transacting larger deals; I've found and structured seed capital for a couple of projects in East London with gross development values (GDVs) of £3m to £7m, which has resulted in me getting a financial interest in and exposure to some great projects and amazing people. I'm making good money doing it and it's accelerating my growth. However I'm acutely aware that I have an incredible amount to still learn."

What mistakes do you see some investors making that you have met and what should they consider changing in order to succeed?

"In the current climate it seems many people in the South East are literally gambling on asset price growth," replies Niraj. "That is neither investing nor smart and it could get quite ugly when the tide of sentiment turns. It scares me that there are people chasing sizeable and complicated property deals such as office to residential conversions or new-build projects when they haven't even done a small investment or refurbishment project.

Right now I regularly see people waste time, energy and sadly significant amounts of money on projects with scarily low profit margins because they haven't learned how to appraise deals but get seduced by a potential profit that is inevitably inflated and often linked to perceived asset price growth.

Worse still is buying land with the hope of getting planning permission, then speaking to a specialist planning consultant for the first time afterwards!

I still don't have a huge interest in HMOs but what I learned about so many facets of property whilst doing those smaller £300k to £400k deals has been invaluable learning for my now larger deals.

As a more general point I think it's very important to focus. First decide what outcomes you're looking to create and then find people that are already successfully doing it - that proves it's possible. After that I think it comes down to hunger, drive, persistence and not getting distracted.

Personally my peer and mentor group has been hugely important in terms of advice, knowledge, belief and attitude. A handful of people including Simon Zutshi, Vanish Patel, Steve Marshall, Martin Skinner and Paul Higgs have had a massive influence on me and I couldn't have got this far so quickly without their counsel. Everything I've done in property has been based on building the right relationships.

Ultimately serious property investment and development is not a game for amateurs or dabblers, it's a capital-intensive business with quite severe consequences for getting it wrong.

However, I truly believe that anyone with huge levels of drive, persistence, logic and above all ability to learn and adapt quickly can make significant progress in this sector, but like anything else what is worthwhile is not easy."

I ask Niraj what 'risk' factors does he see in the current market that other investors really do need to consider?

"Well it's fairly clear that the Bank of England base rate will rise although Mark Carney is hinting towards more of a slow (upward) growth path than some analysts expect. From the start I stress tested deals against higher interest rates and I went for HMOs partly because there is some inbuilt protection.

I am also building ample reserve funds so that in the worst case I can hopefully survive. I see property as a survival game, if you can stay liquid long enough then you can do very well in this business.

Aside from that, keeping a strict discipline to only do deals based on sound business principles is very important right now as getting into deals in London has become a little bit frustrating. It was very competitive and now it's ridiculously competitive so there is a I think I've done reasonably well, partly because I came into property with an experienced investor's mentality.

I only really care about the numbers and risk factors, I have no emotional involvement in any deal I've done. I talked myself out of a deal in New York last month because I wanted to do it more to feed my ego rather than because it was the right project."

What's next and why?

"I want to keep progressing the size and complexity of my deals, so the plan is to incrementally increase the GDV of each project. I'm not in a rush to do huge deals and still have a lot to learn.

I expect to be investing in and developing property for the rest of my life, either as a full time focus or to have one or two deals running in the background whilst I work on other projects. I have ambitions to grow a sizeable business within or related to the property sector, but I don't yet know what angle I will take.

Back in early-2013 I read a very interesting article in 'Property Investor News' magazine about an impressive London property developer who had also started out in Canary Wharf with HMOs. I've since met up with Martin Skinner quite regularly over the last 18 months, we've done some business together and recently he asked me to get more involved with his property business. It makes sense to get more exposure to the size and types of deals they are doing so I'm doing some interim work with Inspired Asset Management.

Otherwise I'm constantly looking to build partnerships with service providers and financiers, always looking for my next property deal and I'm also putting time into working out the next business to build!"

--

April 2024 footnote:

Since 2014 I've continued to buy, refurbish, operate and sell properties ranging from professional HMOs, student HMOs, single lets, joint ventures, refurbishments and commercial developments.

The principles covered in the interview above are still those I work to today.

In 2014 I co-founded the property technology pioneer CrowdProperty alongside Simon Zutshi, Mike Bristow and Andrew Hall. I remain a founder shareholder and customer.

Since 2017 I've been working on other businesses whilst running a number of property deals in the background, as well as lending to or investing in other people's deals.

Links: 1) Property Investor News magazine; 2) a link to the original interview.

Updated February 2023 (first published in June 2018)

I instinctively knew my relationship with technology wasn’t healthy.

I was feeling more distracted than ever and suspected that the way I was using technology was screwing me up.

But what should I do?

After all tech also offers incredible convenience, connection and possibilities for so many aspects of life, so I didn’t want to go completely off the grid.

I started exploring this topic in depth in 2017.

The ultimate validation of this work's value was when I was flown to Barcelona by tech giant Cisco to present this topic to their executives at the flagship Cisco Live! employee conference in 2019.

I've also presented it to executives at Amazon, Starbucks, HSBC, EY, State Street Bank and a number of other companies between 2018 and 2021.

Here’s a summary of what I've learned. Over time I’ve updated it to reflect new information and tools that you can use to find better digital balance too.

Getting educated

I started looking for pioneers in the space and found strong opinions from three heavyweights.

“Technology hijacks our pychological vulnerabilities” – Tristan Harris, former Google Design Ethicist

“We have created tools that are ripping apart the social fabric of how society works” – Chamath Palihapitiya, ex-Facebook VP of User Growth.

Finally, Facebook’s first President, Sean Parker, when asked about Facebook’s mission said it is – “How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?”. How sinister is that?!

Technology is messing with our mental well-being. We can all feel it – the rise in anxiety, FOMO, addictive behaviour; the lowering of attention span, focus, memory. Never mind our changed social habits and their consequences.

Technology is not the enemy, rather it can provide us with many useful tools. Our relationship with our devices is the problem and until now there hasn’t been anywhere near a fair fight between our minds, and the tech giants that want to monetise attention.

How the brain exploitation works

So what happens in our brains when we go online and what are our psychological vulnerabilities?

There’s two important concepts to share with you.

1. Neuroplasticity, which means that we can “rewire” our brains with measurable physical changes, based on how they’re used. If we practice focusing, like in some forms of meditation, we get better at focusing because those neural pathways – connections between related brain cells – become stronger. If we practice playing the piano then the neural pathways dealing with hand-eye coordination and reading music develop and eventually we call it talent. If we keep using our brains to practise worrying, eventually we become much better at worrying and so on.

The second is that our primitive, ancient brain that’s evolved over tens of thousands of years has developed to keep us alive. For the vast majority of human history survival has been the priority. It’s been stunningly effective – during this period of tens of thousands of years of evolution despite the fact we’re not the strongest, fastest or possessors of natural weapons like claws we have become the world’s dominant species and apex predator. Day to day survival is no longer a threat to most of us in the Western world, but we are still wired for survival, not happiness.

Here are some of the ways I discovered that the exploitation works.

1) The manipulation of dopamine -a brain chemical that activates pleasure related receptors in the brain.

Robert Sapolsky, professor of biology and neurology at Stanford University is showing that “dopamine is not about pleasure, it’s about the anticipation of pleasure. It’s about the pursuit of happiness.” and that humans “keep those dopamine levels up for decades and decades waiting for the reward.”

Our dopamine system doesn’t work to provide us with rewards for our efforts, but to keep us searching by inducing a semi-stressful response we call desire i.e. the anticipation of pleasure. This neurological hardwiring has kept us alive as a species.

2) Related to that we have a novelty bias – our brains are constantly looking for what’s new in our environment in order to assess threats. It mattered to our species’ survival if the new thing was a sabre tooth tiger or a rabbit. Technology gives us constant novelty.

3) Intermittent reinforcement – now we’re getting into the juicy stuff, this one’s huge and at the core of many of the tech products designed to hook us in. This is a powerful cognitive quirk made famous by the American psychologist B.F. Skinner in the 1950s.

Behaviours are reinforced by the anticipation of rewards linked to those behaviours. The quirk is that those behaviours become significantly more rapid and persistent when the schedule of rewards is variable and random i.e. we’re not “rewarded” every time and we don’t know when the reward might come.

This is why checking email is so compelling; because we might be “rewarded” by the novelty of a new email, we know it won’t be there every time so we keep checking in the hope for a hit of novelty. The unpredictability gets us hooked. If we knew we were going to get a certain number of likes and comments every time we post then we would post less often and also check the post less often.

Guess which other industry loves these principles? A variable, random schedule of rewards is at the very core of the addiction power of casino games like roulette and slot machines. One major difference is that we don’t let our teenagers loose on those let alone unsupervised. Nor do most of us frequent them multiple times a day, whilst casually shrugging it off as a harmless way to pass the time whilst our brains’ neural pathways get conditioned in ways that don’t serve us.

4) We hate the anxiety that the feeling of missing out on things can cause a.k.a. FOMO, a term now in the Oxford English Dictionary defined as “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.”. Even the dictionary makes the clarification that FOMO is “often aroused by posts seen on social media”. Our hardwired curiosity and search for novelty keeps us going there, increasing the anxiety. Before social media and the mobile internet the opportunities to experience FOMO at all were much more limited.

5) We are social creatures. Going back to how we have evolved, as mentioned we’re not the fastest, strongest or “anything-est” animal around but we learned to use our cognition and superior communication abilities so that a group of humans could hunt, kill and feed off a wooly mammoth. Other species didn’t stand a chance.

However, this co-dependence meant being separated from the pack and having to fend for ourself equalled a relatively near death. Remember this evolution happened over a very long period of time – at least tens of thousands of years – and our primitive brains are evolving significantly slower than the ways we have dramatically changed our ways of living in just the last 20 years.

The evolution of being separated from the pack equating to a near certain death is probably behind our need to feel loved, or at least significant. To the extent that now we have the means we actively ask people for their judgements in the form of likes, comments and shares!

Linked to that is our irrational fear of being alone with ourselves i.e. without external stimuli. For the vast majority of us a short period of isolation does not equate to anything near life threatening, but our addiction to and/or expectation of constant stimulation has exacerbated this irrational fear.

6) No stopping cues any more – there used to be a limited number of digital or technological activities that we could even do e.g. a limited number of TV channels. Not so these days. Have you ever been to the end of your Facebook or Instagram feeds? Right?? But we used to be able to. Until they realised with no stopping cues, we just carry on so they removed them. Netflix and YouTube autoload the next show now to exploit our laziness and propensity to dislike change.

Removing stopping cues has been a really subtle but powerful change.

The above scratches the surface of the depth of these issues and there’s other things I found, but in the interests of keeping relatively concise they are the core and most important ideas I want to share here.

So now we know how the manipulation works…

How do we embrace technology and keep our sanity?

First, why embrace? Why not detox?

I don’t believe in the lasting effectiveness of any kind of detox be it digital, nutritional etc – except as a reset – unless the underlying behaviours change. If our underlying behaviours don’t change then in the bigger picture nothing will change. From what I’ve seen most detoxes don’t effectively address habit change. It’s much easier to sell a holiday in the sun with a few promises.

Why embrace? Because technology is not the enemy in itself and it has also been an incredibly positive force in my life. I don’t want to go “off the grid”, I want to manage my behaviours so that I’m in charge and so that they’re geared towards my productivity and happiness rather than what Google & Netflix want me to do (tell me that link isn’t worrying?).

So here’s what’s worked for me, hundreds of people who’ve attended our Digital Balance workshops and some related ideas.

1) Awareness.

A) Awareness of the manipulation described above, how and when it works and the consequences for stress, anxiety, insomnia, attention, focus and happiness. Part of the reason I shared how the exploitation works is that the awareness of it alone was enough to start shifting some habits and behaviours.

B) Awareness of our behaviour. Ever tracked your smartphone usage? I pick smartphones as it’s now easy to track the actual usage vs what our cognitive biases tell us. Download One Sec on IoS, Quality Time on Android or another third party tracker as they generally provide richer data than the native trackers. They’ll tell you how much time you spend in various apps and the number of opens. Before I started tracking I would have told you as a fairly frequent checker that I check my email inbox 10-12 times a day. The first day I started tracking it I had opened my email app fifty times before lunchtime. It turns out I was going there habitually, compulsively and often unconsciously!

In my case, the awareness alone started changing my behaviours.

2) Environment

The intervention here is to change your environment to make desirable behaviours easier and undesirable behaviours harder.

a) Physical environment – want to stop eating a certain type of food? Remove it from your house, then you need to make an effort to actually eat that food and often the desire will pass before you do anything about it. The same works with technology. I started keeping my phone a couple of metres away when I’m working, so it isn’t within reach. The simple act of having to move to reach it creates a little delay and intervention that my brain uses to ask itself “What ARE you doing??”. If the mere sight of it is a trigger (more on triggers below) then keep it out of sight too. Likewise I close my laptop when doing work that doesn’t need it.

b) Digital environment – there’s lots of easy interventions here. Turn off all notifications on everything! Or at least as much as you are able to. I keep my email program closed when not using it and now limit how often I’ll even go into it by scheduling those times in my diary. I am building the discipline to stick to them more and more – it sounds extreme but I’m up against the collective might and brainpower of Google here! I have also used an app called Freedom to help me retrain my habits.

What’s difficult to start with becomes easier the more we do it (neuroplasticity). There are some more digital environment ideas below in the “little hacks” section.

3) Habits

Habits work via triggers, actions and rewards. My favourite resource on habits is “Atomic Habits” by James Clear; he has taken the stellar work of Charles Duhigg and B.J. Fogg and made it very accessible and relevant to modern, smartphone driven 21st century life.

Once we start noticing our particular triggers we can start changing the actions and rewards, making conscious choices. Something that’s helped me is starting to see my triggers as invites from my own mind i.e. “my mind is inviting me to do this thing” and asking “Why is my mind giving me such crappy invites to make choices that aren’t in my best interests?”. The answers to that lie in the evolution stuff we discussed above. Of course for this to be effective we need to start by learning to notice our triggers.

4) Meditative practices & mindfulness

Some meditative practices train attention and focus. The more I’ve meditated the more I’ve noticed how my own mind works and what’s going on in my life, including triggers for all sorts of behaviours and reactions. One of the core tenets of mindfulness is present moment awareness, i.e. noticing. Meditative practices are foundational skills for good mental hygiene, training our minds the same way exercise trains our bodies so that the increased skills help us in everyday life.

Some meditative practices also train us to ride out uncomfortable feelings, which is really useful when we need to deal with cravings and urges, which almost always pass if we leave them alone.

When we understood just how foundational meditation is as a mental well-being habit, but that so many folks struggle to incorporate it into their busy lives, we set about creating the world’s only science-led online meditation course that specifically helps you to discover, learn and integrate the meditation habits best suited to your unique life. I highly recommend you check it out and some of the life-changing results that participants have been getting.

(EDIT: apologies, our course is no longer available. We sold that IP to Tictrac in 2021. Today I highly recommend Insight Timer for getting started in meditation. I have 2 of the highest rated meditations on that app here).

There’s no shortcuts here but working at the right things is rewarded the same way the correct work towards any skill is.

For short cuts we have…

5) Little hacks – none of these will foster deep seated change by themselves but they can certainly make the journey easier.

The Chrome extension StayFocusd lets you blacklist specific sites at specific times in advance, and then when you try to go to them it flashes up “Shouldn’t you be working?” instead. I’ve found the app Freedom to be even better as it syncs across devices and software. Momentum for Chrome throws up motivational messages and beautiful photos instead, if that’s more your thing.

Grayscaling your phone has been pretty effective for some of our guests as it seems to take the shine away from apps. Another great product for laptop and desktop screens is f.lux which adjusts the colour of your computer according to the time of day, to reduce glare and blue light at night.

Other productivity apps recommended from within our community and worth looking into are Brain.fm (that link will get you 20% off and we get something too, I use Brain.fm almost every day), Freedom and Forest.

Finally, this one is a slightly bigger hack. I’ve found it really effective to adopt set morning and pre-bedtime routines, especially the former. By setting my own routine (which at the moment involves hydration, exercise, meditation, coffee and getting into the most important task first – ideally all before I unlock my phone) I deliberately programme my behaviour instead of relying on my morning willpower to get me through or falling prey to the subconscious urge to fire up Instagram, WhatsApp or something else that will lead me down a rabbit hole.

Conclusion

All in all I don’t think there’s a quick or single fix to this. I’ve found unwinding one or two habits at a time soon picks up momentum, so it’s important to just get started with something simple.

In short my top tips are raising your own awareness and hence your standards, cultivating the skills learned in meditative practices and changing the environment to help even up the playing filed a little more.

I’d love to hear what’s worked for you. All the best in your quest to find more digital sanity and more digital balance!