Nobody Likes Onions

NLO 429: Body Go Boom

NLO — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:45:45 +0000

Patrick is in Las Vegas, but he had the foresight to record a show to hold you over until he gets back, all sad and poor. So here it is. A show where we talk about God and teapots, game shows and body fat. I don’t want to say we were phoning it in, but we kind of were. What do you want from us? This shit is free.

NLO 428: Russian Dressing

NLO — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 03:06:58 +0000

It’s our first live show in quite some time, and it seems like the callers have learned their lessons. Most everyone was well-behaved and added to the fun of the show. We had calls from all typed of fans, ladies and fellas, young and old. It was a good time. We talk about everything from swimming to how to get the fairer sex to take a liking to you. We read some news stories, talk about technology and how it affects your everyday life, and read some of your emails. It’s a lap-spanking fun festival. What?

NLO 427: Picking Burlap

NLO — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 04:21:29 +0000

In this show, we talk about how the senate has passed a resolution that pretty much amounts to an “our bad” plea from white people in regards to slavery. It’s not like we think slavery was a good thing, but why do we need a resolution that decrees some kind of official apology? Why can’t we settle this the way my dad and I settled things after he came home drunk and beat my when he didn’t really mean to? Let’s just sit at an awkwardly silent dinner table and slightly nod at each other while we eat. We touch on London, and also talk about blind people and how close they should never come to our food. We also talk about our new iPhones and a new cartoon sensation sweeping the forums.

NLO 426: Never Say Sorry

NLO — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 03:23:34 +0000

Oh, hello, Internet. We’d forgotten you were there. We’re back from our week off with fresh minds and clean hearts. We bring you a peace offering of a show that is nearly two hours long and packed with hilarious content. The hosts are well rested and busting at the seams with funny. Or bacon. We can’t be too sure. The point is your favorite show is back and better than ever. We’ve got lots of ideas and the new website has renewed our spirit and ignited our passion. We’ve got some good things in the pipe, and if you’ve seen our pipe, you know just how many good things it can hold. Enjoy, and thanks for being so patient. We knew you’d understand.

NLO 425: Gravy Dick

NLO — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 04:02:46 +0000

In this show we talk about upcoming adventures. We’re headed to London and Paris in November, Patrick is headed back to Houston and Biloxi next week, and Patrick and Shannon will be in Las Vegas at the end of the month. We answer listener emails and voicemails, including a girl that wants to be our tour guide in Paris, a guy that made a stupid decision about a star tattoo, and a suggestion about an activity that revolves around gravy. Mmmmm…

NLO 424: Blind Ambition

NLO — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 04:37:17 +0000

We’re in our fifth year, and we thought we’d do something new to commemorate that occasion. We’re joined in the studio by Matt, aka “I’m Learning Things” on the NLO forums. Matt’s not just another boring guy with a mild case of Tourette Syndrome; he also happens to be completely blind. We know this because Johnny and Patrick did the show entirely naked and he didn’t look away once. We talk about what it is like not being able to see…anything…ever, and we also go over some other stories. Brian King also pops in to share some more of his standup with us.

NLO 423: Sundries and Whatnots

NLO — Fri, 29 May 2009 04:06:55 +0000

What do you get when you combine a sassy black woman who thinks she know how to offer advice with a bunch of retarded people running around pretending they are doing the news, sprinkled with cocky British people who think they are better than Americans, and a side of some bitch who lives in a country that restricts her internet usage? I don’t know, but it probably resembles this show. Have a good weekend everyone. The deers, the deers, the deers, the deers. The deers, the deers, the deers, the deers.

NLO 422: Blood Pudding

NLO — Wed, 27 May 2009 04:30:36 +0000

Things are happening. We’ve got a new DVD out from Las Vegas, we’ve got a new show available for purchase from Houston, and we’re starting to plan our trip to London this November. It’s all coming in to place. Except we’re starting to wonder if we made the right decision. London is weird. Actually, most other countries are weird, but England is super creepy. Everyone looks like they are zombies and people talk funny. They do weird things, like roll cheese down hills and make sausage but call it pudding, but it’s disgusting. And they don’t know what a real breakfast is. Seriously. Don’t these people have the internet? What year is this?

NLO 421: Cream of Ice

NLO — Mon, 25 May 2009 08:17:21 +0000

Hey there, NLO listener. It looks like you’re about to download a showgram! You know what goes great with a show? Some sweet, sweet cream. In this show we talk some more about Houston, and we talk a little about upcoming London. We talk about how Johnny has busted Patrick’s MacBook Pro, and help out several listeners with issues. We help someone who has a problem with his girlfriend not tipping, and another fan who wants to know if he is gay or not. We also talk about some news stories featuring some tragic incidents and some absolutely stupid people who get what they deserve. Hooray for shows!

NLO 420: Houston Has A Problem

NLO — Fri, 22 May 2009 07:05:51 +0000

We’re back from Houston with tons of video and audio, and stories that will probably span well in to next week. The bottom line is that we had a great time, but Houston, overall, is a big pile of steamy shit. We mean that in a good way. The people are great, the food is decent, but the lay of the land reminds me of the c-section scar on Britney Spears’ vagina - fun to visit, but if I stare too long I get sick. We do a little recapping mixed in with some other stuff, and Whitmore sits in on the conversation. It was a good show, and we’ll be back to our schedule next week.

NLO 418: Standup Guys

NLO — Wed, 13 May 2009 03:01:05 +0000

We’re getting ready to go to Houston and we’re talking about it. We talk about our preparation for the comedy show, and some other slated activities. We talk about Brian King and his upcoming big-time comedy debut. We break the rules a little, and Brian might get upset. But we also talk him up. We think it’s a good balance. I mean, come on - the guy has over four pairs of shoes. You know what I’m saying? Yeah.

NLO 417: Oprah Says

NLO — Fri, 08 May 2009 02:30:38 +0000

Oprah tells women everywhere what to do, and they do it like sheep. We don’t know when this disturbing trend started, but it’s fact. We also look at standup comedy and talk to Brian King about his upcoming set in Houston. We top it off with a letter from fans that do a show there, and end up making it our Bad Podcast of the Week.

NLO 416: Drinko de Mayo

NLO — Wed, 06 May 2009 04:19:50 +0000

It’s Cinco de Mayo - well, it was when this was recorded. We had alcohol and a woman in the studio. This show goes off the beaten path a lot, but it should be entertaining. There’s embarrassment, there’s talk about fingers up the ass, dead babies on the side of the road, and making fun of Jake for not drinking alcohol. It’s a fun show, but follows absolutely no format at all. It’s just some drunk people in a room talking about things they probably should have just kept to themselves. Enjoy it.

NLO 415: On the Boardwalk

NLO — Mon, 04 May 2009 03:48:08 +0000

Patrick is sick, and when he doesn’t feel well, he tries to get that feeling across to you, the listener. We talk about our upcoming trip to Houston and possibilities for activities while we’re in town. We need some serious suggestions from you locals. We are going to do karaoke at the bar on Friday night, and of course our standup comedy show, but what to do during the days? That’s kind of up in the air. We talk about flying, and do a little bit of singing as we try to get an annoying song stuck in your head. It’s not our finest hour, but you’re so awesome that you love us just the way we are, don’t you? Besides, last weeks shows kicked ass. It’s about time we gave you some mediocrity.

NLO 414: Beak Meat

NLO — Fri, 01 May 2009 04:44:10 +0000

If you didn’t get enough poultry prattle from the last show, don’t worry. We’ve got you covered in this show, with a recap of the Popeye’s debacle, and some more chicken news. We even have a song about chicken that a listener sent us a link to. That ends up taking us on a wild journey through YouTube time-sinking. We try to curb our slamming of African Americans by taking a moment out to oogle at a poor, malformed girl singing and dancing. We wrap it up with our second installment of the return of the Bad Podcast of the Week, and it’s a doozy. It’s a comedy show. Yeah. Sure it is.

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