Guess where I am going for two weeks?

(Hint: If you are mentally handicapped, you can mouse over the picture and view the title)

Details and photos coming soon my friends

I don’t know what to say about this, I am very disappointed with Jetstar, Australia, and generally everyone else on this plane save the couple in jail.

http://www.news.com.au/travel/news/couple-arrested-for-mile-high-club-romp-on-jetstar-flight/story-e6frfq80-1226214092888

The mile high club is something of prestige, of the highest level of sophistication and even higher levels of body acrobatics, so I am sad to see people getting their panties in a bunch when really they were just sad not to be getting laid like they were

Admit it, your jealous, I’m jealous, I am sad I was not a member of this couple, less the arresting.

Hopefully Australia and Jetstar gets their shit together and lets mid air romps flow freely like porn stars using viagra, hell even that metaphor would be amazing on a plane

Mile highing

Gabriel

Forget Christmas

Fuck New Years Eve

Flip off the Holidays

A new ADVENTURE is coming for me in February, and I will be bleeding out all the awesome details in the next week

Thanks for staying tuned

Cheers

Gabriel

Sometimes, you just need to pull the trigger

Actually, it is often better for me to simply pull the trigger and deal with the consequences later, whether they attempt to mane, pilfer, or kill me is irrelevant

Recently I stumbled across a deal to fly to China and back, with food and airfare for about 1200$, a fraction of the cost relative to even flying over there one way from nearly anywhere in the world.

Hesitation occurred

Deal expired

Head banged against wall

Looking beyond the fact that China is one of the greatest countries that I have never been to, I was ultimately more pissed at myself for not allowing myself to go out on an awesome adventure.

The underlying factor here is that man was meant to travel, and anything that prevents said travel from occurring in one’s life should be stripped away like cancer from your vital organs.

Will there be other amazing adventures on crazy eddy style price cuts?

Of course, this country’s people are broke and travel companies are desperate to make it happen

As long as I get on the road in the next 30 days, I will be able to take this IV of Frommer’s guides and Anthony Bourdain memoires out of my right arm and get back to living the dream

Even if that dream lands me in a coffin, stuffed with enough illegal cargo to make Fidel Castro blush

Cheers

Gabriel

I have been really slacking lately in the travel department, its like the old saying goes

Young: Lots of Time, No Money

Middle Aged: Lots of Money, No Time

Old: Lots of Time, No Energy

I have made a solemn vow to get on the road about 100x more than I currently am.

The master plan is to stop paying rent to live in one location all together, and instead float money to friends and stay with them while I am wandering around the world like a fat kid in a candy store.

That way I can float money only when I am pimping in Texas, and pay my dues when I am riding elephants in India while doing TPS reports.

All I know is that travel is still one of the most important things in my life, its where all my motivations lay, why I bust ass working at jobs that I love, and slowly work my way into the lifestyle of my dreams.

I can’t wait till this stuff takes flight, literally

Cheers

Gabriel

I have what everyone in the savvy business world as, “A quality problem”

A quality problem by definition is, “something that is an inconvenience, but really it cant be a real problem because its an awesome situation to be in”

For instance:

Having to decide which playboy model you are going to sleep with in a night is a quality problem

Determining whether you want to make 10000$ and do some boring task or make 5000$ and travel over the course of a day is a quality problem

Not knowing what to do with the million orders you just got for your new business is a quality problem

While my newest quality problem is not as epic as playboy bunnies and hoards of money, it does involve a lot of sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

While traveling to my motherland of Michigan, Delta overbooked my flight and gracefully offered me 400$ in free money in addition to first class airfare for the measly price of two hours of my time.

Not being a blithering idiot, I jumped on it.

Now I must decide whether I want to take my cash and run across Europe causing all sorts of philandering or go buck wild in the lovely SE of the land of overworked slave children (read: Asia). Or should I just drink myself into a coma in Brazil?

All are exciting, all  will lead to me getting into trouble, all are awesome on so many levels

What would you do, my dear readers?

Dear god Matt, you nailed the shit out of this.

Keep up the good work Oatmeal

Click Me For The Insanity

Cheers

Gabriel

Ready to be broke? Ready to live on the streets and only find that there is a tax for being homeless?

Look no further than the list of the top 10 most expensive cities in the world, 2011 cracked out edition.

The survey that was developed by (you guessed it) the worldwide cost of living organization, showed some exciting new changes in the world of cliff jumpable rent prices.

Are you ready? I think not, but here it is:

Top 10 cities in Worldwide Cost of Living Index

1. Tokyo

2. Oslo

3. Osaka

4. Paris

5. Zurich

6. Sydney

7. Melbourne

8. Frankfurt

9. Geneva

10. Singapore

CNN recently wrote an article talking about Americans and their attempts to go on pseudo lavish vacations with their families across the United States.

Apparently more families have been selling belts and crystal meth out of the trunks of their cars as 58% of all Americans said they are planning a tourist trap laden adventure for this summer season.

Most Americans are getting smart and taking simple adventures ala low key amusement parks and family cottages rather than getting drunk in Mexico and losing their children in a flea market because of an extended stay at a donkey show.

Used to raiding the mini bar at your favorite Hilton, be prepared to get drunk at a dive bar sitting next to your Motel 6. Think of eating filet mignon? Add some Salisbury steak sauce and close your eyes at TGI Fridays and you’ll be right there.

“Overall, vacationers plan to take an average of two weeks for a trip, and spend an average of $1,200 a person, or a few weekend-getaways, spending just $300, Amex said.”

Overall, a smart ploy for Americans everywhere. If travel hoarders around the world learn to spend less on each of their vacations, and not waste money on frivolous purchases throughout the year, maybe they can join the 8% of Americans who are able to go on a kickass overseas adventure.

Personally, I would rather stay home with a bag of marshmallows and a bag of jiffy pop than blow 1200$ at Disney World, but maybe that’s just my inner travel cynical asshole talking.

Summer busted

Gabriel

Ever want to travel the world and see the best bars and clubs and get so hammered that you don’t remember anything about the night, from arriving at the bar with your 3 friends to your intimate bathroom encounter and a weird moment with an external appendage and cigarette machine? Look no further than my list of the best bars around the world.

Your liver will kill me in the morning

Reina

What do I really need to say about this place? Just look at it. It’s as if God came down from the heavens and made the perfect place to drink and used a peppershaker of diamonds to round it all out. This crazy ass place can be found in Istanbul, Turkey, right next to heaven.

Gansevoort

NYC, it’s like Las Vegas but colder and potentially filled with more regrets and insanity that a strip bender.  No better place can this be accomplished than the Gansevoort Hotel in NYC. Do yourself a favor and order a sprite and three olives berry, you’ll praise me later.

Tryst

What kind of this would this be without a throwback to the Sin City. Tryst is the most badass spot on the strip, and is guaranteed to have a line and a club filled with sexy people, cold drinks, and a guaranteed loss of sanity.

The Standard

The land of nose jobs, body builders with bastard children, and party goers from all walks of life, who doesn’t love LA? The Standard is a downtown staple, and offers an amazing view with an even better looking clientele. Sneak in your own flask and even escape the 20$ drinks while finding a cougar or two.

Vertigo

What do you get when you mix a 61^st floor bar with one of the biggest cities in the world? Welcome to Vertigo in Bangkok. This place offers amazing views, stunning ambiance, and cheap(er) drinks for the faking millionaire in all of us.

Keko Moku

A tiki bar in the list of best bars? Before you ready your pimp hand, know that this bar is by far the most amazing bar in all of England. Keko Moku is a tiki bar with a bright and lively atmosphere. Think of it as an aberration in one of the world’s most miserable cities and embrace its awesome-ness.

New York Bar

Wondering where this bar is? You guessed it, welcome to Tokyo. This top story bar features ridiculous views of downtown Tokyo and offers some of the finest cocktailing in all of Japan. Domo arigato MR bartendo.