No Fenders - Formula 1 and IndyCar Racing Blog

INDY 500: 2013 PreQuil - Almost Time to GO Racing!

2013-05-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

Otay, so now the field’s set and all that’s left is to try not putting a wheel wrong during the final Pre-race practice session during this coming Friday’s Carb Day, as here’s a look at what are some of the potential story lines to this year’s 97^th running of the Indianapolis 500...

Qualifying ‘Schmoll-uh-Fyin’

So did Y’all watch this past weekend’s riveting Qualifying show? As I’ve already ranted on ‘bout how excruciatingly exciting ‘Boomp Day was, right? As thee BEST part of the entire weekend was FAST EDDIE, aka Ed Carpenter winning the Pole vs. five Andretti’s and three Penske’s in the Fast Nine Shoot-out; wait, where is I-T? And what’s this Horsey wrap-up SHIT!!! As can Fast Eddie GO ALL THE WAY?

MILLER: Carpenter One Helluva Story!

Ladies du Jour

Although we weren’t originally quite at the dizzying heights ‘O four Femme Fatales competing in this year’s I500, as Y’all know, Thy Leggy ‘Juan made a very late splash in the IndyCar pool by “Boompin” a very distraught Michele Jourdain Jr. from the field upon her first day of driving an IndyCar this year...

Thus, although perhaps? Much to do will be made over this being the first time ever that two females have been teammates at Mother Speedway with the pairing of Brazil’s Ana ‘BIA Beatriz and England’s Pippa Mann who raced against each other previously in the Indy Lights series both starting the race for Dale Coyne Racing. (DCR) As you’d somewhat expect the fourth female “Symona-symona” (de Silvestro) to be the leader of this quartet in the supposedly “stronger” KVRT concern. With Simona fielding a ‘Chebbie vs. the DCR Dynamic Duo’s and third Schmidt Hamilton Peterson Motorsports Honder’ lumps.

While I’m guessing many will be watching to see which of the two DCR drivers comes out on top while Justin ‘B-I-G UNIT Wilson should enjoy being the (Man) meat of this sandwich, eh? As theoretically ‘BIA should fair better since Pippa’s been out of the cockpit for a year-plus. Yet I’m actually far more interested in seeing Katherine Legge finish ahead of either one or both of the Dragon Racing Boyz instead...

Rookies

As anybody who’s been following this year’s field, Y’all will know that there’s four highly touted rookies contesting this year’s Indy 500 - with a pretty diverse background being split between two ‘Yanks, another Columbian and a ‘Frenchie.

Thus in alphabetical order our contestants for R.O.Y. honours are A.J. Allmendinger, Conor Daly, Carlos Munoz and Tristan Vautier, as you’d have to say that Daly and Munoz are the least “experienced” ‘lad’s of this lot regarding piloting the B-I-G CARZ.

And although Allmendinger was previously a Champ Car Star upon winning five races in his final season ‘Wayback in ‘Twenty-oh-Six, and did run on an Oval, nonetheless things have changed in the seven year hiatus he’s taken from Open Wheel Racing in favour of Stock Cars.

Yet AJ has gotten testing time along with a Road course & Street circuit race this year aboard his No. 2 Team Penske mount and should benefit immensely from some three-time winner named ‘HULIO! Whilst title favourite Will Power looks to put his season back on track at the Speedway.

Conor Daly seems to be the most unique rookie this year, as he actually missed Opening Day weekend due to his “Day Job” getting in the way, as Conor’s racing in the European GP3 series once again for ART whose season just so happened to be commencing in Barcelona, Spain at the same time.

Yet, Daly did test briefly for ‘SuperTex at Sebring earlier this year and surely must be encouraged to be piloting the No. 41 A.J. foyt Enterprises chassis after the remarkable role lead driver Takuma Sato’s on at the moment - currently leading the points standings after finishing 1^st and 2^nd the past two races. Yet I suppose that Conor’s just relieved to be in the field after being the only driver to wreck prior to Carb Day, along with losing an engine.

Carlos Munoz looks set to become the fourth Columbian to race at IMS by my very unscientific research, as I know very little about him other than he’s currently plying his trade in the Indy Lights “Feeder” series for Andretti Autosport, who’ll he’ll make his Big Carz debut for this May, as I’m ARSE-sumin’ he’ll be doing the “Double” this year - as in running the Freedom 100 on Carb Day before racing again on Sunday aboard “Mikey’s” 5^th wheel, the No. 26 “Double-A” machine, albeit Munoz was the fastest of Andretti’s five qualifiers on Pole day!

Frenchman Tristan Vautier is this year’s only rookie contesting the full Indy Car Series campaign for Sam Schmidt’s second car, the No. 55 Schmidt-Peterson Motorsport entry and has looked overly impressive so far in his first four outings by being unbelievably quick. Also seems to have nerves ‘O steel after having crashed three separate times over the Sao Paolo weekend before motoring to a 16th-place finish.

Vautier along with French teammate “Symone Pagenoe” (Simon Pagenaud) were originally hoping to benefit from the addition of 2004 I500 winner Buddy ‘Hotrod Rice as the team’s third entry this May, who subsequently turned down the ride and then Katherine Legge joined the team instead...

Miracle on 16^th Street?

Otay, this is just a little Feel Good Mojo for the No. 22 Panther DRR entry of Oriel Servia, as Dreyer & Reinbold co-owners Dennis Reinbold & Robbie Buhl have announced the team will shut down immediately after Indy if no additional sponsorship is found. As I’ve gotta pull for ‘Ol “suitcase” Servia who’s an ex-CART/Champ Cars BAD ARSE who deserves better!

Servia has been competitive at Indianapolis before, most recently sweeping to a fourth place finish last year while he also has a knack of qualifying up front on this historic oval and it’d be the perfect Cinderella story to this ‘lil IRL team that began with the long forgotten farm implement sounding Nissan Infiniti motors in the back of its ‘CRAPWAGON...

GOOD LUCK ORIEL!

The Usual Suspects

And every year it seems the debate with Indiana Bureau Chief Daniel Baines Cooper is the same, i.e.; there’s ONLY 5-6 cars that can win which typically comprises of the Penske’s and Ganassi’s, although so far for this year, you’ve definitely gotta throw Andretti Autosport into the mix, with three of its drivers running consistently up front, i.e.; RHR, ‘Hinch and Marco, while I’d have to say Viso and new-boy Munoz are outside threats.

Thus on this premises, then the following should be the top prospects for drinking the buttermilk in victory lane come Sunday, May 26^th: Dario Franchitti, Scott Dixon and Ryan Briscoe; Helio Castroneves & Will Power; Ryan Hunter-Reay, Marco Andretti and James Hinchcliffe. And I think you need to throw ‘TK (Tony Kanaan) into the conversation as well, thus giving us nine bonafied contenders.

Yet, Takuma Sato seems to be needing to be considered as well as ‘FAST EDDIE, nee Ed Carpenter, while I’m certain there’ll be somebody who’s a surprise, as I seem to recall that Justin Wilson was near the front last year in the Minnowesqe DCR entry - while could a rookie win his debutant outing? Or can J.R. Hildebrand recapture his 2011 magic? And I suppose we shouldn’t leave out his teammate Townsend Bell either, eh?

As I guess that’s why we’ll run the race, right? As I won’t try being so bold as thee OLD-est IndyCar Blogger Geo. Phillips by casting a prediction on who’ll win, although I’d like to see Oriel Servia pull off the shocker for the reason listed above, not to mention seeing ‘TAG (Alex Tagliani) have his moment of glory, or Wilson, Sato or HELL, even Kanaan, as I’ll be sportin’ my support for a most unlikely candidate instead, having just obtained a No. 20 “Parkin I-T!” Bryan Clauson T-Shirt to wear race day instead, as that’ll hopefully ‘Cornfuze a few Indianan’s, eh? As I can always claim I thought I-T was a FAST EDDIE tee instead; Hooah! (Especially since Clauson didn’t get an invite to the B-I-G dance this year...)

Newgarden Fastest on Day 2, Legge completes Starting Grid for 2013 Indy 500

Otay, now I’ve gotta go get ready to catch an Aeroplane bright ‘N early tomorrow morning!

5-minute Major Penalty for NBC Sports Network!

2013-05-20T14:46:00.000-07:00

So, I do NOT ever-ever-ever want to hear any more bellyachin’ about the horrendous TV ratings of NBC Sports Network regarding Indy Cars... After their atrocious bungling of this past weekend’s “Souper doopier” Pole Day weekend, where duh “Peacock lite” inexplicably managed to cut away from the first five cars - including eventual Pole winner Ed Carpenter’s lone qualifying runs in favour of some STUPID ARSE horse race recap; YUK!

Oh, but it gets better, as the following day, when turning on le Telescreen at 9:12AM Pacific I was totally ‘Cornfuzed over why some third tier hockey game was on; WTF? Hmm? Oh dear, hopefully NOT a Stanley Cup Playoffs replay??? Nope, instead it was the magnanimous Men’s World Hockey Bronze medal game between Finland and U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A; Oh Never Mind! Whiskey Tango Foxtrot indeed! As the announcer proclaimed there was six minutes left in the ten minute overtime; F%%K! WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT THE WORLD HOCKEY LEAGUE!

And our intrepid friends over at IMS Radio Network weren’t immune from the bungling of the weekend’s coverage either, since I thought I’d logon to their “live” audio feed instead while waiting out the FRIGGIN’ hockey match; BUTT N-O! I gave up after multiple repeated attempts of clicking upon thee “Play” button at 9:21AM as there wasn’t any FREAKIN’ sound; Can You Hear Me Now?

And speaking ‘bout their audio, having switched over to the IMS Radio Network broadcast via indycar.com at 1:30PM Pacific, (Saturday) when NBCSN had to duck away for two hours of Preakness Pre-race Goobly-gock; SPEW! In mid sentence of Nicky ‘Salt Yeoman’s interview with James Jakes, the best performing RLLR entry, somebody inexplicably pulled thee plug and the interview went dead, and the sound reverted to just Mother Speedway’s PA system for some 20mins-plus, which was entertaining since every time Dave Calabro gave out the speed it was muted by the roar of an engine - saying Pippa’s On I-T! And she’s turned a lap of 224 blank-blank-blank...

Then as NBCSN had to scoot off for 30 MORE ‘My-nutes of its Wall-to-Wall Horsey race, Leigh Diffey told everyone to run over to indycar.com instead for live coverage and HOLY TIN CUPS BATMAN!!!

For about the first 5-6 drivers their Driver Analyst Davey Hamilton sounded like he was talking thru a tin cup in an old timers telephone booth, i.e.; garbled to say the least...

And one more thingy Messer Diffey; note to self. I-T ISN’T a “Genuine Bump Day” when there’s only ONE “Bumpee...” As I’m really tired of the overly manufactured HYPE trying to be generated over Indy Cars ‘BOOMP DAY! And Hype in general...

Which includes ‘Wee “willie Buxom” (Will Buxton) trying to build up the major strides his employer is making towards Formula 1 Stateside, by proclaiming on Trackside with Kevin & Cavin how impressive it was that NBC was precluding its Sunday morning News Shows in favour of airing the Monaco Grand Prix.

Uhm, Gee Will, guess what? DON’T know what timezone you’re living in but Four FREAKIN’ thirty AM (Pacific) is usually a time slot for some amazing Infomercial like thee Total Gym Workout with Chuck Norris & Christie Brinkley instead...

Thus, when duh Peacock lite finally wrapped up its ‘lil Hockey game and returned from its five minute major penalty Sunday morning - We were greeted by Conor Daly making his qualifying run followed by G. Willikers Rahal and his Midas touch mobile on screen at 9:30AM, which means I have NO idea of how many of the ‘Boomp Day ‘Qualie runs we missed seeing? But I’m guessing at least half, eh?

And lastly, I don’t wanna say ‘Boomp Day wasn’t exciting; YAWN! But my new somewhat more cynical side was left ponderin’ what's the real scoop behind Schmidt rolling out a 3rd car on 'Boomp Day? Just a clever way to keep focus off of Honda's being so "Slow?" Or just a way for Sam Schmidt to pad his pockets a little bit, since I doubt Thy Leggy 'Juan gets to keep the prize money, eh?

As I definately think there's a story there since Sam even admitted to thy 'Wee "Willie Buxom" (Will Buxton) that originally the third Schmidt Peterson Motorsports (SPM) car was to help ensure there'd be 33-cars in the race a la Ed Carpenter Racing's (ECR) #40 entry. Since after all IRL Founder ‘TG (Tony George) did proclaim that: “33’s Only a Number!”

Which perhaps Y’all are wondering by this point why I bothered watching/listening to this weekend’s riveting Pole Day weekend, right? Because I guess some small tiny portion of Mwah still cares; especially since I’m going to the race again.

Yet I’m just left wunderin’ would FOX treat its ‘RASSCAR broadcast the same way? Or would an F1 broadcast on NBCSN receive such shoddy treatment? Which if the powers-to-be at comca$t are really trying to promote F1, then how come there isn’t a rebroadcast of the race on Tuesday morning on NBCSN a la how SPEED used to do so even when their Big Brother FOX had the race on Sunday? Since I cannot record more than one channel at a time, I’m forced to choose between qualifying or the race; not to mention choosing between thee M-O-S-T exciting Indy 500 in history, which seems to be the Procostinator’s yearly battle cry; Oh Never Mind!

As I can only wunder if the world of Open Wheel Racing will ever truly receive the proper attention it deserves sometime in the future? As in like actual honest-to-goodness “live” ‘Qualie shows for Indy Cars - not to mention the availability of more than one car on ‘Boomp Day...

Bump Day Pics: Who’s Number One?

2013-05-20T13:33:00.000-07:00

The #20 on top of the scoring pylon, aka the Pole for you pacific Coasters...

Yeah ‘CARPETS, us Left Coasters don’t have any scoring pylons like that at Portland International Raceway; Hya!

(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

Bump Day Pics: ’SuperTex in the House

2013-05-20T13:25:00.000-07:00

A.J. (Foyt) in golf cart heading to Pit lane. NO word on whether or not he was going to tell rookie Conor Daly he’d made the show or in search of one of those ‘Wurld Famous IMS Tenderloin sandwiches instead...

(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

Bump Day Pics: ’BIA at Speed

2013-05-20T13:18:00.000-07:00

Ana ‘BIA Beatriz heading into Turn 1 at 225 mph on second lap of qualifying run. As the likeable Brazilian will roll off P29 Sunday, May 26^th...

(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

Bump Day Pics: Buddy’s Ride

2013-05-20T13:11:00.000-07:00

The Lazier Racing Partners Car #91 heading towards the Pits; now all this car needs is a sponsor!

(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

Parnelli’s Hat on Pole, Mears Milk bottle second and Riveting Bump Day coverage P3...

2013-05-20T12:57:00.000-07:00

So that’s your row-1 lineup for the just concluded ‘Boomp Day, which I’d say was almost as riveting as those Dazes ‘O Yesteryears... Y’all know when A.J. Foyt and Tony Stewart conspired to “Rev Up” the aforementioned day by blowin’ ‘Smoke UP our Backsides by potentially entering Stewart into a Foyt racecar to potentially fill the field.

And thus I found it funny that the escapades of this year’s Legends Day honoree Rufus Parnelli Jones Stetson hat he lost 50-years ago garnered more stories than Bump Day in Sunday’s IndyStar wall-to-wall motorsports coverage, which included a story ‘bout Rick ‘the Rocket Mears reclaiming his first milk bottle; YIKES! Can Y’all say S-L-O-W News Day?

Parnelli gets his Hat back

Mears shares Parnelli’s pain

INDY 500: Revisiting the 2012 Race Weekend, Part 3

2013-05-20T09:48:00.000-07:00

Obviously I’d be very happy to have survived the incredible H-E-A-T of the day, as although I’ve been in hotter, like when painting roofs in Arizona in 112-degrees... I simply don’t recall being so DAMN HOT in ages - which would have been much more bearable if Takuma Sato had pulled off the unthinkable...

Sunday, May 27

96^th Indianapolis 500 Race

Dave woke me up the earliest of the lot, at 7AM I believe... As there’d be five of us going to the track in one vehicle today; ‘Whale as close to the track as we could get parking-wise before hoofing it in the remainder of the way from Dave’s super “SECRET” parking spot. As I really don’t recall much anymore ‘bout race day other than it was H-O-T! It was so DAMN HOT that we did the unthinkable and went for breakfast inside the Brickyard Crossing restaurante simply to seek the shelter of AC as long as possible before going outside into the inferno!

Thus we missed the majority of the pre-race ceremonies - standing in an ultra slow moving security line, which bummed me out ‘cause we were supposed to get our Wheldon white shades tribute glasses in order to commemorate Dan’s legacy as the missing reigning I500 champion on laps 25 & 98; Hey! I want my cheesy cardboard knockoffs! As the fans were supposed to put their shades on stand-up and honour ‘DannyBoy on those two laps...

Ex-CART/IRL Driver and IndyCar team owner Bryan “HighSpeed Hurdles” Herta at speed whilst piloting Dan wheldon’s 2011 I500 winner at IMS. (DOB)

And it was funny, since for my third Indy 500 outing, you guessed I-T! I was sitting in my third different seating locale, this time in what seemed an overly crowded Turn 2 which was a bit ‘O a PAIN trying to climb up the multiple steps and slither my way ‘round the curving bleachers with my white cane - which oh by the way were bright silver aluminum; CRIKEYS! Let’s see, record expected temperatures + shiny aluminum seats with NO shade; can you say H-O-T! Hey have I mentioned how FREAKIN’ HOT it was on Raceday yet? Hee-hee-hee...

Seem to recall that everybody stood up for the race’s pace laps and we did get to see Bryan Herta do a solo lap in Wheldon’s Twenty Oh eleven winner, which was kOOL! As opposed to being cool, since the only thingy remotely C-O-O-L was the FROZEN water bottles Dave had brought for us - which remarkably were so FROZEN that it took forever for the ICE to melt; YIKES! HOLY ICECUBES BATMAN!

And having already been told what everybody knew by Tim Wardrop, aka “Dr. Who” previously in the Flagroom, the two “Powered-by-Judd” (Lotus) machines were woefully underpowered and weren’t expected to go the full race distance, as Dave had joked two day’s prior to Dr. Who if we should bring some sort of debris to throw on track when it appeared that “Mean Jean” (Alesi) was about to be lapped; Hya! (As obviously I’d NEVER suggest throwing any type of debris on a racetrack - especially where they’re traveling at over 220mph!)

Thus after the first few laps had passed and everybody had sat back down, albeit thee Mayor ‘O Hinchtown made a nice pass for the lead right in front of us, the 33-cars simply looked like one enormous jumbled up blurb ‘O multiple colours, kinda like dumping a bunch ‘O Skittles outta a bag... shush; DON’T tell Marshawn that I’m dumping his Skittles; Hya! (Inside Seattle Seahawks Marshawn ‘BEAST Lynch joke...)

Let’s get ready to rumble - 33 angry Dallara DW12’s forming up nicely during the Parade laps. (DOB)

‘whale actually it was just the first 31-cars that looked like a multi-coloured rainbow to my ‘Jellybean vision, as I could actually make out the last two cars - with the two ‘Luddi’s running alone and even got more excited as I could make out the solitary black Dallara DW12 chassis of Alesi’s Fan Force United car versus Simona de Silvestro’s multi-green racecar, which contrary to popular belief wasn’t glowing in the dark; Hya!

And although a fan of Simona’s, I was rootin’ instead for Alesi, Dr. Who and the Fan Force Boyz to win the intra-engine duel between these two slow moving Loti’s, albeit I think Alesi was running stone last?

And I think first ‘Symona-symona was forced to retire and then Alesi’s car vanished too - as they’d both been black flagged due to not being fast enough on track, which in a nutshell was the Bain of the Lotus experiment, eh?

Editor’s Note:

Dammit Bill, I’m a Blogger! (Somewhat clever Trekkie twist upon his multiple Star Wars references...) Oh wait a minute; I AM the Editor, cook, chief bottle washer; Yada-yada-yada; Hur-hur-hur! As according to Pressdog, while I did have Simona & Alesi in the right positions, i.e.; P32-33 with de Silvestro leading Alesi; the Frenchman was called in on lap-9 with the Swiss Missile being black flagged on lap-10, both for being too slow and impeding the field’s progress with Alesi’s top speed being 203mph and Simona’s 205 - while everyone else was motoring along at 220mph...

Another noticeable cue to Mwah, albeit of a different sort of sensory mode came in the forms of audible and smell to me, as first off it was amazing how ghostly silent Mother Speedway became when a full course caution was thrown and all of the whump- whump- whump- whump- whump- whumpp passing noise of the gynormous IndyCar Freightrain dissipated.

Yet even more distinct was the almost cloudlike wafting of burnt, shredded, blistered ‘Flinstone rubber passing overhead some thirty seconds plus after the ensuing accident had occurred - as the track was silent with nobody at speed on the track’s backside and NO cars to be seen whilst awaiting the unwanted tow hook!

But I know I did a little Happy dance when ‘BULLY-RAY’S ‘CHEBBIE DONE BLOWN UP! Ah, poor Hunter-Reay, who was my new Number-1 villain last year, as I’ve begrudgingly admitted the lad’s got talent, especially how he persevered over Will Power for the title last year; as so far this season I simply don’t have any HATE! To which I know ‘R’s (Robin Miller) motto is “Hate is Good!” But I just feel like the steam’s gone outta Mwah and nobody’s really done anything super devious yet. Hmm? May be the gloves will come off either in Detroit or Toronto?

And I do remember how GEEKED! The entire crowd got over ‘FAST EDDIE’s mesmerizing March to the front, as I believe he got as high as P3 before looping it against the wall, and hence scratch off another candidate for the little guys done good category.

Which speaking of that, think Brian Clauson crashed again? As he’d done torn up one of Sarah Fisher’s cars during qualifying, as it’s a shame he won’t be back in 2013, since he’s a great personality, whilst I don’t recall what happened to SFHR’s primary driver Joseph Newgarden? Think his Chevrolet let go on him too? (Actually Clauson just looped I-T without hitting anythingy, but went a lap down and was a non-factor the rest of the race. Officially scored as P30 retiring due to Mechanical on lap 46...)

Another time the cavernous Speedway grandstands erupted was when the wily ‘TK Follow-your-Schnoz (Kanaan) lit his afterburner and sliced ‘N diced his way from fifth to P1 on one of the countless restarts; Aye Karumba!

And then there was the final lap, with everybody on their feet going OOH, AHHH!!! As you could audibly hear the proverbial air going out of the bag when Takuma Sato crashed upon making his ultra daring pass for the lead upon Dario... who in the past I’d taken to calling him Dashley LePew and even going so far to comically propose his boss the ‘Cheepster adding SaazAll as a sponsor to the No. 10 car after Dario had moaned over Justin Wilson’s “unfair” victory at Texas - where Franchitti quipped he’d saw off certain parts of his anatomy to get the weight savings that thee ‘B-I-G UNIT’s chassis had afforded him... Oh Dashley, put a cork in I-T wills Yuhs!

And I’ll readily admit I was the lone fan BOOING ‘HULIO in Edmonton the day he BLOCKED his teammate Will Power for the probable victory; BUTT! Even with my past disdain for Dario, and not as a driver, I was simply SHOCKED over what I heard next... As a deafening, jeering, rancorous chorus of booing greeted Dario upon his cool down caution lap! And N-O! I was NOT one of those BOOING him, as I just sat quietly amazed over how many surrounding spectators were infuriated with the now three-time Indy 500 winner! Although I suppose part of me felt mildly vindicated, since Dario’s one ‘Helluva driver, but simply seems to be a tad bit too entitled...

Afterwards, upon finally meeting up with the three Hosers, I cannot even begin telling Y’all how DAMN GOOD those ice cold Bud’s tasted as we sat inside the Brickyard Crossing once again letting the crowd die down somewhat before finally making our way back to CARPETZ MANOR for the traditional Sunday Night Feast!

And that’s my very eclectic recap of last year’s race, as I’ll try pooundin’ I-T out a little bit sooner then one year later - as it was scary trying to remember A-L-L of the past two year’s races just prior to leaving for Indy this May; CRIKEYS!

Thus, you can get a blow-by-blow recap written by thee ‘Dom ‘O IndyCar bloggers; DAMN YOU ‘DAWG! Why do you have to be so observant; Hya! Although I bet it wasn’t nearly as H-O-T at the ‘DAWG’s Man Cave, eh? With Bill’s beer ‘O choice and his AC cranked on, right Bill?

Pressdog: Notes taken during the 2012 Indy 500

Mon; 5/29

Made my traditional Hall of Fame ‘Walkabout thanxs to Dave who graciously took me there - as always... Of which I’ve scribbled previously in;

IMS Hall of Fame museum - 2012 visit

And that’s about the entire riveting minutia I can think of - as it was another typically bumpy, frumpy unenjoyable flight home, as I don’t even recall which way I went? As I seem to end up with a different route each way every time I go to Indy.

Yet I was happy that I got to see ‘Rubino’s debutant Ovaltrack race, NO less at Indianapolis, as I believe Barrichello was the Rookie Of the Year? Thus, what surprises ‘N tidbits will this year’s race produce, huh? Guess we’ll all find out shortly, as now I’d better go pack my suitcase, eh?

(DOB: Photos Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

Leggin’ I-T!

2013-05-18T15:33:00.000-07:00

So, while sitting thru the RAIN delay on Pole Day, I had a great ‘lil thought bubble after Ol ‘R (Robin Miller) spilled the beans upon thy Leggy ‘Juan having been tapped to drive the third Schmidt Hamilton Peterson Motorsports car, the No. 99; to qualify on Sunday after the team’s first two primary cars safely make the show.

Wouldn’t I-T be GURR-REAT!!! If Katherine Legge bumped le ‘Hamburgular, nee Sebastain Bourdais out of the race; As I think that would be divine intervention after that pesky ‘SeaBass threw Legge underneath the bus earlier this year. Just a thought...

Slaying the Dragon

GO KATHERINE!

INDY 500: Revisiting the 2012 Race Weekend, Part 2

2013-05-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

So how does one outdo schmoozing with Buddy Lazier, Dr. Who and “Symona-Symona” at the Flagroom? ‘Whale by going to Legend’s Day and being treated like royalty by some of the “lesser known” racing drivers ‘O yesteryear; Thanxs Tom, Adrian, Billy, Didier and Stefan, it was a HOOT!

NO! This isn’t the crowd lining up for the Autograph session, but instead is a Pre-race crowd pic taken on Raceday instead. (DOB)

Saturday, May 26

Legend’s Day - Doce

After a very leisurely morning of sleeping in & rousing ourselves, the Five Amigos finally departed for the racetrack - taking separate cars, as the three KuhNucks were antsy to get to the memorabilia show - in order to purchase more prized trinkets, while Dave once again graciously accompanied Mwah to the ex-Indy 500 drivers autograph session - part of what’s now called “Legends Day.” As the two of us stood in line, we had NO idea that we’d need to stand for one hour-plus in the hot baking sun in order to get what I thought would be just three selected “John Hancock’s,” as for reasons unknown - I was in quest of another Swedish racer’s signature - having poached “Stevie Johnson,” aka Stefan Johansson’s the year prior...

Thus due to our totally unplanned arrival time, we were well situated for the autographs second session lasting from 3-4PM, albeit when the gates open tons of people behind us ran around us to which Dave commented C’mon people! And hence, as we got to the correct grouping’s chute, (cordoned off line with stanchions on both sides - literally forming a cattle chute...) a woman approached us and said loudly that Mario (Andretti) was only staying a half-hour and she couldn’t guarantee that we’d get his autograph waving her hand approx where we stood... Thus Dave asked me if I wanted to jump over to the other B-I-G names line of Gil de Ferran, Buddy Lazier and Johnny Rutherford - to which I said: I’ve already got two of those guys and I really want Brack’s signature...

But Mario was still available when it became my turn near the 25-30 minute mark of the session; as Kenny Brack was the most reserved of this triumberant - not even saying hi or answering my Rally-cross quip to him. But Tom Sneva, better known as The Gasman was totally kOOL!

Sneva got his nickname as his car was sponsored by Texaco as the Texaco Star and he was the first driver to officially record laps over 200 and 210mph at the Speedway... As Tom was smiling & laughing when I asked him: Are you the World’s Fastest Schoolteacher? To which he quickly replied: And Principal too! As Sneva was from Spokane, WA originally...

The Gasman

And I didn’t even try making any “Chit Chat” with Mario - who Dave noted had his I’d really rather not be here forced smile upon his face several times, although he did say you’re welcome when I thanked him for the signature. And Kudos to Mario for blowing off his previous engagement and staying some 45-minutes plus in order to appease all of the waiting line-goers.

Then Dave asked: Do you wanna go over to Line-4? Its wide open - as there was about 15mins left in the session; as I said sure, yeah, lets go-for-it... As this turned out to be far superior then my BIG name hunting. As there were ten drivers in this line - beginning with Johnny Parsons Jr., Buzz Calkins, Phil Kruger, Bill Alsup, Billy Roe, Denny Zimmerman, Adrian Fernandez, Phil Geebler, Alfonso Giafone, Didier Theys and Stephan Gregoire.

As Billy Roe, who I’d never heard of before was an absolute crack-up... As I approached with white cane in hand he said: How many fingers am I holding up? And as I was bursting into laughter Dave said NO! He’s not flipping you off - to which I said laughing: You’re NOT doing a Will Power... Who was fined $30k last year for being caught on national TV giving race control a double bird (#1 finger) salute! After we quit guffawing, I said I heard you drove for Scandia Racing - which was owned by Seattle’s Andy Evans; yes I did. Saying I was from Seattle, Billy asked deadpan: Is it ever sunny in Seattle? To which I quickly replied: only when you’re out-of-town...

Next up was Adrian Fernandez who stood up and said Hola as he stuck his hand out to shake mine. Then I asked him if he’d won at Portland? Yes, that was a very historic day for me - my first victory as a team owner... Before I asked him if he was still running the Aston Martin? Yes, I’ll be racing it at Le mans in about three week’s time.

Then about 3-4 drivers later, another stood up and said: Hi, you must be Tomas; WTF? How the HELL did he know that Dave asked, as Didier Theys smiling said it’s a secret - to which I said if he tells us he’ll haveda kill us! Which got rousing laughter all around us, as we had a great time kibitzing whilst Didier warmly shook my hand!

Then last up was Stephan Gregoire who I asked if he was still driving the two-seater? Yes, saying I’d done it awhile ago; Oh? Who was your driver? Was it fast enough? NO! I wanted to go faster... To which Stephan said they’re building a new version that will be able to go 200mph - to which I said SIGN ME UP! As I’d gladly go do this again provided Stephan was my driver - while afterwards Dave said: they should just have a NO names autograph session instead! As everyone in the second line was personable, smiling, happy, having fun and genuinely enjoying themselves...

Ah, a sight for sore eyes; Hee-hee-hee! Marco Andretti’s wrecked Dallara DW12 on the hook after he’d DONE CRASHED I-T! (DOB)

Sitting outside near the exit doors, I had a very pleasant ‘Chin-wag (chat) with a lady who said I was sitting by the cool breeze - every time the doors to the air conditioned room inside opened a blast of cold air hit us - whilst Dave went off in search of the KuhNucks...

Then after waiting forever for Simon to return we walked over to you guessed IT! The Flagroom, as my stomach was screaming for some lunch... After eating and parching our dry throats from the scorching sun - Dave said guess who’s over there? Why it’s “Uncle Bobby!” As in three-time Indy 500 winner Bobby Unser... As Dave asked if I wanted his autograph? Sure, although Bobby was regaling an audience with great yarns ‘O yesteryear...

Dave disappeared and then returned saying Bobby had to go meet somebody but would be back in 5mins - to which Dave didn’t know if he was sneaking out on us or what?

Yet true to his word, Bobby returned and Dave guided me over to his table - telling me everything I COULDN’T ask him on the way over... As Bobby has had several run-ins with the law, including punching a police officer and having the National Guard called out to locate him when he was lost snowmobiling “Out-of-Bounds,” etc. As I approached Messer Unser stuck out his hand to me, saying Hi and answering my one comment ‘bout having heard him on the Don Kay Show the Tuesday evening prior. Then he stood up and put his hand on my back as he directed us which was the best way to have the picture taken... Pretty Damn kOOL for an OLD HOOT pushing 80yrs old, eh?

Then another photo-op occurred outside where there was a ’99 Dallara Coors Lite Indy Car being unloaded, before it was finally time to go back to Dave’s house where we talked smart outside on the patio before calling it an early evening at 11PM in order to get some sleep before our somewhat “early” rising in order to go to the Big Show the next morning...

To continue reading, see; INDY 500: Revisiting the 2012 Race Weekend, Part 3

(DOB: Photos Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

INDY 500: Dario Hears from the Fans...

2013-05-16T13:24:00.000-07:00

Here’s my (somewhat) “Quick” recap of last year’s (2012) Most Excellante trip to the Indy 500 - which was another Stellar outing largely due to my wonderful host Dave ‘CARPETS O’Brien...

’Superstar No Fenders scribe Tomaso poses with thee George’s No. 1 Camaro at IMS, and NO! I’m flashing a different #1 than Will Power did; Hya! (DOB)

Thurs; 5/24

Having heard Kevin Lee of Trackside with Kevin and Cavin mostly downplay the horrors of flying to the West Coast for the Long Beach Grand Prix recently, (WOW! Another year later and ‘Ol Kurty Cavin brought I-T up again, along with Kevin’s impending trip to Sao Paolo; Boo-hoo-hoo...) I thought I’d lament upon the frivolities of traveling the other way, eh?

As my Shuttle Express pick-up was slated for 4:40-5AM for my 7:35AM departure from SeaTac to Denver; nearly a 4hr layover before arriving at Indianapolis at 7:10PM ET... Dave O’Brien picked me up at airport, where I actually wanted to check out the ‘HULIO Castro-nervous (Helio Castroneves) 2012 Dallara DW12 Showcar; Aye Karumba! As the new car really didn’t look as UGLY as I’ve been led to believe, albeit it AIN’T a No Fenders car...

Drove to the Flagroom, the Indianapolis Motor Speedway’s Bar & Restaurant left over from the Brickyard Hotel they demolished 2yrs ago - as I’d told Dave prior to arriving it’d be fun to get to chit chat with “Doctor Who” again...

Dr. Who is actually Tim Wardrop - an Englishman who worked in Formula 1 for 10yrs before coming to America to work as an IndyCar Engineer, having worked on Juan Pablo Montoya’s winning 2000 I500 racecar as well as being Arie Luyendyk’s race winning engineer in 1997 when Arie set the one and four lap qualifying records of 237mph which still stand today!

Sitting down at the adjoining table, Dave said quietly to me - I think that’s Buddy? As next thingy I knew I was answering Formula 1 questions for Buddy Lazier, the ’96 Indy 500 winner; CRIKEYS!

Later on Dave asked if Buddy would sign what would become the first of three beer ‘Adverts in the bar for me - before asking how you spell Tomaso? Oh you mean like a De Tomaso Pantera... I’d better add an O to it Big Fellah... Then as we posed for our pick Buddy told me to say: Beautiful Women!” As Buddy was truly quite pleasant to Mwah, very friendly, engaging and generous with his time, as a few more autograph seekers approached him whilst he chit-chatted with us.

And Dr. Who was quite pleasant too - asking if I knew who he was during a moment of quiet when Buddy had left the table previously, as Tim’s always been very cordial to me since my first meeting him back in ’07.

After getting to ‘CARPETZ MANOR in Greenwood, about a half-hours drive from the track we stayed up til midnight I think, as we were awaiting the ‘KuhNuck’s arrival, as I’d awake a few times in the morning to the sounds of laughter from the backyard patio where apparently The Boyz stayed up until 4AM+ YIKES! (As this would be the last evening the window would be open before the AC was required...)

A blast from the past; a Buddy Lazier Coors ‘CRAPWAGON Showcar outside the Flagroom bar with some ‘KuhNuck’s posing nearby it. (DOB)

Carb Day: Fri; 5/25

Although Dave tried rousing Rob, Mark & Simon several times in the morning, the three “Hosers” were going NO-wherez and thus just Dave & I departed for 16^th & Georgetown - where the Indianapolis Motor Speedway is located for Carb Day, which includes the final IndyCar practice prior to the race. The Freedom 100, the Indy Lights 40-lap race for the series support class and the IZOD Pitstop challenge which is immediately followed by the Miller Lite Carb Day concert; this year’s act being the reconstituted Lynnard Skynard band taking the stage at 3:30PM.

After having gotten cut-off by mere minutes to being allowed to park in the IMS infield and having to find parking on a nearby neighborhood street instead - we sauntered into the race track at 10:58AM; “Just-in-Time” to catch the start of the 1hr final ‘BigCarz final practice session - the final tune-up prior to the Indy 500 on Sunday... As the two Target cars of Dario Franchitti & Scott Dixon wound-up 1-2 on the speed chart with laps of 221+ mph whilst the rest of the field was mired down in the 218mph range.

After moving to a different vantage point for the Indy Lights race - as the mercury continued climbing and the heat began feeling oppressive, we sat thru a red flag period as debris was removed from the track after a five-car collision, as my choice for winner came thru on a prelude to Sunday’s outcome - a collision one lap prior to the chequered flag with the race finishing under yellow... As Esteban Guerrieri from Argentina won, giving Indy Car Series owner Sam Schmidt his seventh Freedom 100 victory in nine attempts...

After watching; Err listening to the start of the Pitstop competition - which I absolutely can care less about - Dave asked if I wanted to head over to the Flagroom instead? As the ‘KuhNucks had finally awoken and it was decided that we’d rendezvous there - as Dave & I had lunch while awaiting their arrival, as Dr. Who would also join us later; as he was pulling triple duty as the race engineer for both of Fan Force United’s Indy Lights cars driven by India’s Armaan Ebrahim and Emerson Newton-John, nephew of this year’s Indy Parade and Freedom 100 honorary green flag waver Olivia Newton John; who was making his racing return after an 11-year layoff; along with their ‘Big Car (IndyCar) effort for Jean Alesi - the 47yr old ex-Ferrari Formula 1 Ace; as I’d later on ask him how he thought his driver (Alesi) felt about attending a “Last Row” party?

And when I think of Tim, I’ll always get a wry smile and chuckle over his colourful sentiments towards his Indian Indy Lights Charge that weekend, whilst he was much more complimentary towards Emerson - as sadly, unbeknownst to Mwah, it would be the last weekend I’d ever see him...

Sayonara Dr. Who

The Last Row Party is one of the numerous Indianapolis Motor Speedway (IMS) traditions - where checks in the amount of 31, 32 and 33-cents are awarded to that year’s drivers starting in Row-11 in those corresponding positions. As the Indy 500 starts eleven rows of three cars historically...

Then next thingy you know, Dave spotted another of the Last Row drivers outside walking towards the bar and jumped up after asking if I wanted “Symona-Symona’s” (Simona de Silvestro) autograph? Although I don’t know if Dave knew how I now somewhat loathe her since she’s sponsored by Entergy Nuclear in the Nuclear “Clean Air” Car... As I’ve previously penned the story about Simona running Glow in the Dark colours for 3yrs, i.e.; length of sponsorship deal.

Yet next thing you know there comes Dave strolling in with Simona in tow as he introduces her to me - and wallah, my second driver autograph in two days - thanxs to Dave! Who later explained to me he wasn’t gonna try explaining to her how to speel Tomaso; Hya!

After departing the Flagroom, the five amigos walked down Georgetown street as the KuhNuck’s were in search of IndyCar merchandise - as we walked all the way over to what they called the Trailer Courts, where they found one booth still open alongside some closed merchandise trailers where Rob purchased two Arie Luyendyk 1/64 Matchbox models before we returned to ‘CARPETS Manor and sat outside on the patio for some serious Armchair race chatting...

To continue reading, see; INDY 500: Revisiting the 2012 Race Weekend, Part 2

F1: Spending ‘Mum’s Day saying ‘Barca...

2013-05-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

Otay, so it A-L-L seemed so surreal watching; Err tryin’ to listen to le Telescreen at my esteemed ‘Auntie Harriet’s on Mothers Day, as we settled for the 11AM Pacific encore presentation, as 4:30AM seemed a ‘Wee Bit too BLEEPIN’ early!

This was the first Formula 1 action I’d watched in one month’s time, and I find myself not overly intrigued by I-T all these dazes, as I was thrilled for the ‘Mercs - as our Bloody ‘aussie (Mark Webber) called them upon the Pre-grid when he was good enough to have a word with thy ‘Wee “Willie Buxom. (Will Buxton)

As I found myself fairly distracted when trying to watch the Friday Free Practice-2 ‘Telie show - pausing a mere 30+ ‘My-nutes in and leaving it to be finished sometime later that evening, since I don’t even really recall how we got to ‘Qualie Q3 - even though I watched I-T before scampering off for my three-bus trip south.

As it’ll be interesting to know if Professor (Steve) Matchett’s matchinations about the ‘Mercs lack of or overabundance of camber set-up of the Mercedes MGP W04’s rear suspension (or is it all four corners?) is the reason for their apparent inability to keep their Pirelli rubber underneath them as long as their respective competitors, eh? As according to Grizzled ‘Journo Joe Saward Red Bull has just lured ex-Sauber Vehicle Dynamics specialist Pierre Waché away to help cure their respective woes of eternal ‘wingeings-on ‘bout “tyres-Tyres-Tyres!”

But I was very happy for “Brittany,” nee Nico Rosberg securing his second Pole position this season - and third overall with his teammate “Louise ‘JAGUAR” Hamilton alongside providing another Mercedes GP front-row lockout, yet their overly cautious demeanor towards seeing if they could stay with the pack in race trim was not encouraging.

And whilst I find myself wanting ANYBODY to BEAT thee “Smiling Assassin” (Seb Vettel) these days, and will enjoy ‘Fredrico Suave, aka Fernando Alonso doing so for la Scuderia, I find myself pining most for thy original “Iceman,” nee Kimi Räikkönen and his OOMPLATS to do so instead, which is a big switcheroo from my angst previously towards the Bastardos at Lotus-Renault GP What’s Yuhs Muh Call I-T X-P Calladrocious... Oh Never Mind, as thankfully the whole Dany Bahar affair has faded from the landscape, eh?

Now if only Mercedes could get their “37,000 Technical Directors” (Willie Buxom speak) to ALL pull in unison and get the Silver Arrows to become ‘Playuhs, then we’d have a show! As I find it a tad bit ironic how I’m pulling more for the mighty ‘Mercs than the woefully underachieving McLaren’s, albeit I’d like to see Sergio Perez blossom into a B-I-G STAR and have always like ‘JENSE. (Button)

And so it began, as my 93+ year old Aunty who’s overtly daft these days due to her acute dementia began her ritual round of questions, yet Y’all gotta enjoy somebody of that age still getting genuinely excited about getting to watch a race, right?

Oh Goodie, we get to watch a race!

Who’s racing?

Formula 1,

Where’s the race?

Barcelona,

Barcelona, Spain?

Yes,

Oh, we’ve been there...

Who’s racing?

Formula 1,

What type of cars?

Formula 1,

Where’s the race?

Barcelona,

Barcelona, Spain?

Yes,

Oh, we’ve been there...

What type of cars are those?

Formula 1,

Who’s racing?

Formula 1,

Where’s the race?

Barcelona,

Barcelona, Spain?

Yes,

The Rain in Spain on the Plain...

Where’s My Cat?

And so on and so on it went for three ‘Bloody hours; Hooah!

As Mary Ellen chimed in who’s leading? Nico Rosberg. Oh? Isn’t that the driver Harriet sat next to on the Aeroplane? Yes! Did you tell her? And thus I began reminiscing about a long time ago about when Harriet could still fly upon Aeroplanes and at the sprightly age of 87 had flown solo to Indianapolis ‘N back and had the good fortunes of having some 21-year old ‘Punk named Nico sit next to her from Indianapolis to Chicago...

The Great Nico

And as I tried vainly listening to the most slicked over Podium interviews these days, as I could already hear myself dryly rambling on in monosyllabic tome of how the car was Ok today, but we could have done better; blah, blah, blah! The following line of questions occurred between Mwah and Harriet who’s also hard of hearing these days...

Who’s that?

Kimi Raikkonen,

Who?

Kimi Raikkonen,

WHHOOO?

Kimi Raikkonen,

Skinny?

*laughter...)

Yeah, it’s Skinny Radcliffe,

What, there’s Rats in here?

NO-NO-NO! There’s NO Rats...

Besides me; Hya!

Then sadly, in another sign of how far Harriet’s slipped, she vainly tried playing along as I hummed the last half of the Italian national anthem out as I’d done so euphorically seven blissful years ago in the blazing hot sun at Indy in deference to our then “Gawd-like Hero” Herr Schumacher winning the ‘Twenty Oh six USGP!

Yet sadly when I asked her if she remembers our hero she paused mightily, so I said gently his name was Schumacher...

Henri?

To which I burst into laughter over her answer saying NO! It’s Michael Schumacher - as Henri’s his brother; Hya! Y’all know his other brother, not the Oh So Famous one Ralfanso, but his older brother Henri, right? Chirp-Chirp... Hello?

Yet I suppose it happens to even the best of us, as I proceeded telling Mary Ellen how it was ironic that Felipe Massa had finished third today, since he’d finished third also at Indy, albeit I couldn’t recall who was second for the life of me... As I still fondly recall getting to watch the post race interviews in the drivers native tongues upon the Indianapolis Motor Speedway’s close circuit television screen as we made our way down from what I’d later learn was the cafeteria level of the Media Centre’s building. As we stood there listening to DER TERMINATOR (M. Schumacher) speaking herr Deutch and Felipe speaking Portuguese.

Thus upon looking I-T up, I’m slightly embarrassed to admit I’d mixed up Saturday’s qualifying results at Indianapolis with what I perceived to be Sunday’s race results, and thus it’d been ‘Skew-maaker on Pole, Massa second and Giancarlo Fisichella P3 with the following day’s race results seeing a virtual repeat with the Ferrari’s finishing 1-2 with good ‘Ol ‘Fishyfella in third for Renault. (And thus it had been ‘Fishyfella waxing on in Italiano who was the mystery man on Saturday...)

Indy Day Trippin’

And thus I’m guessing Y’all can see just how far my interest in the day’s race at Barcelona was completely off of the boil, eh?

As Mary Ellen would later ask me what happened? As I didn’t even seem remotely overjoyed in Alonso’s victory for the red car - saying remember how you used to be an insanely fanatical Tiafosi lunatic plus Ferrari FANATIC! Always spewing on ‘N on about how Michael’s the greatest and “Immer Ferrari!” What happened?

Uhm, guess I got O-L-D?

But aren’t you happy for Fernando? NO! NOT REALLY... Oh, why’s that? ‘Whale he used to be the ENEMY when I was still in my Schumacher mode, albeit right now I’m happy as I’d rather see anybody win besides Vettel...

Yet much later on that evening after standing on the porch looking out at the frothing beach waves racing vertically left to right, which I’d never seen before, most likely due to the enormous cargo ship I could hear rumbling away in the distance as the song “What do you do with a Drunken Sailor” silently played in my head, I gave further thought to why I’m suddenly so non-plussed over my Numero Uno motorsport, F1.

Thus I told Mary Ellen I guess I’m slightly miffed at myself for once again being sucked in by what I perceived to be another amazing athlete, as I know better yet still had been gullible to Master ‘Zebb’s playfulness and energetic enthusiasm - saying at least with Michael Schumacher he didn’t try to pretend he was a nice guy. I mean you knew he was an Arsehole! (Yet he was also an ultra BAD ASS! A la Senna I suppose...)

I’m just erked with myself for being so easily fooled by the likes of Lance, (Armstrong) Oscar (Pistorius) and now Sebastian. (Vettel) To which Mary Ellen replied guess you’re NOT cynical enough before asking then what do I care about in F1? To which I replied I like the Young guns, the up ‘N comers and the little teams these days. Although I’m disappointed with Caterham’s performance so far - which I’d expected would be better, although I suppose a somewhat more cynical side of me would say that Marussia needs the tenth place Constructors prize funds more than Caterham does, eh?

As I guess if I really boil it down, I’m a purist who recalls the days of drivers having a total of twelve laps to utilize however they saw fit during the qualifying hour and when Formula 1 was the ultimate chess game, or a bit like European Football with its low scoring One-Nil (1-0) victories instead of today’s version of Chinese Checkers with artificial overtaking gimmicks such as KERS and DRS, not to mention the instantly disintegrating tyres - which are NOT Pirelli’s fault, since they were simply following the FIA’s instructions. Although I suppose somebody’s gotta be the fall guy, right?

Pirelli promises tougher tyres for British Grand Prix

Although Pirelli has since further reported that the change will now occur by the Canadian Grand Prix instead...

Hence, I guess that I find the racing today overly chaotic and not really that exciting, whilst I suppose that some of my lack of interest or apathy for the sport is residually due to my never ending eyesight deterioration? Or perhaps just knowing that most likely either Vettel or Alonso is going to win the race, unlike the refreshing dose of different winners currently occurring here Stateside in Indy Cars.

Yet I was indeed happy for Massa to be on the podium, although overly disappointed in the ‘Mercs performance and somehow missed out on the fact that both McLaren’s actually made it into the points along with Daniel Ricciardo’s Toro Rosso eking out the final points paying position. And thus, its funny thinking that it’ll be another month since I attempt tuning into a Grand Prix - not really since I’ll tape the Monaco GP over Indy instead and watch it sometime after my return from what I’m ARSE-sumin’ will be another highly entertaining Indy 500 at Mother Speedway!

2013 Spanish GP results

2013 F1 Points Standings

INDY 500: Let the Racing begin!

2013-05-14T12:33:00.000-07:00

So instead of trying to figure out how to make the FREAKIN’ “live” video stream upon Indycar.com work? Is it working now? But I-T sez live NOW ‘til 6PM ET; Oh Never Mind!

And thus, I ran off to Tacoma to watch the encore presentation of the Spanish Grand Prix with the esteemed ‘Auntie Harriet on Sunday morning instead, hence I have absolutely NO idea of how this year’s riveting Opening Day weekend at Mother Speedway went!

Yet as typical, Thanxs solely to ‘CARPETZ - he sent the following pics from over the weekend along with the corresponding notes.

Speedway Street Party

Went to the street party tonight; (Friday) had a nice showing despite the cool weather and sprinkles. There were a bunch of classic street cars lined up upon Main Street with Arie Luyendyk & Johnny Unser serving as the judges for the Best in Show awards.

The Dallara and Sarah Fisher Hartman (SFHR) buildings were open to the public with the big doors on the side of SFHR open and they had a duo singing and playing guitars. Plenty of food vendors on hand with Sun King Brewery, a local ‘Fave here, having an area on Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing’s outdoor patio. You could purchase a wrist band to get entrance there. And they set up a nice large plush outdoor seating area with gas fire pits that were a popular spot.

In the dunk tank I saw Sarah Fisher (who wore a wetsuit for her half hour outing) and Josef Newgarden participating (And Newgarden’s boss Sarah playfully pushed the button to dunk him immediately...) along with a local newswoman from channel six.

Ed Carpenter was signing autographs outside the Dallara Building with Scott Dixon there as a "fan" who was just wandering around.

Just missed the two drivers "sumo wrestling," (names escape me right now but will remember later)

Editor’s Note:

One of them most definitely had to be E.J. “What, Me Worry?” Viso, right? As perhaps the other was Marco Andretti? With NO word on whether or not Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter was in the house; Hya!

While on the north side of SFHR’s building they had some cars on display including Will Powers current IndyCar, a Top Fuel Dragster, a couple of old Indy Cars, Midgets, Silver Crown, etc.

And there were all kinds of things for kids: A little tricycle track, slides, bouncy houses, Speedway Fire Dept trucks they could climb into, etc, with the Humane Society having some booths there and there were a lot of cool dogs there too...

All-in-all a real fun event with a lot of things geared for the little ‘Kiddies. I wouldn't say Newgarden stole the show but he was the most visible interacting with the little kids. I'm not sure who had more fun. Him or the kids...

From the Track

As you can see (or can you?) by the flags on the Pagoda it was a bit windy Sunday and cool. Other pic is Newgarden helmeting up as he prepares for practice run.

Kudos of the day have to go to Dario, or is it Dashely; who spent 23 minutes, yes I timed him, signing autographs and getting pics taken at the entrance of Garage Area. He smiled the whole time and was very cordial. After the third "Ok guys, I need to get going now", he drove away on his golf cart smiling and waving...

And there Y’all have I-T, a somewhat eclectic view from Indiana native ‘CARPETS who took in a few of the Opening Day festivities and was kind enough to share his thoughts on them with us all...

Assorted pictures from Opening Day weekend below; Thanxs Dave!

Opening Day Pics: A Stiff Breeze...

2013-05-14T11:33:00.000-07:00

Picture of flags blowing atop the Pagoda during Sunday, May 12^th, Mothers Day...

(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

Opening Day Pics: Have You seen my Helmet?

2013-05-14T11:15:00.000-07:00

IndyCar Astronaut Joseph Newgarden putting his helmet on whilst preparing to clamber aboard his SFHR Dallara DW12 rocket sled at Mother Speedway - launching him into the “21^st Century! (Sunday, 5/12)

(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

Opening Day Pics: ‘Filler-up...

2013-05-14T10:54:00.000-07:00

‘BIA’s #18 getting fueled in garage area. And contrary to popular belief, it AIn’T NO Iperanga suegar beats blend from Brasilia. Nope, I think they all gotta run on Sonoco Ethanol at Indy instead; Hya!

(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

Opening Day Pics: Champions Row

2013-05-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

This just in from Opening Day at Indianapolis; Turn 2 stands has the 4time and 3 time winners dressed in casual attire. 4 timers: BIG L AL, (Al Unser) ‘SuperTex (A.J. Foyt) and Rick “The Rocket” Mears on the left with the three timers ‘Uncle Bobby (Unser) seated with ‘HULIO, (Castroneves) Dario “REO Speedwagon” Franchitti and ‘Lone Star J.R. (Johnny Rutherford)

(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

Opening Day Pics: Paging Number 21!

2013-05-14T10:32:00.000-07:00

Another Pic from Opening Day (5/11) at Indianapolis featuring the newly minted Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing’s #21 Century 21 machine sitting on pit road with the Pagoda in the background. Could this be the 2012 winner?

(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

Remembering Art Pollard - Redux

2013-05-12T13:10:00.000-07:00

So I’m sure that some out there will be wishing that today isn’t the 40^th Anniversary of the late Art Lee Pollard’s death that fateful day at Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

As although I never saw this driver race, Thanxs to Geo. Phillips for introducing him to Mwah and making me realize how great of a person he was outside of the cockpit - which I tried portraying in my tribute to Art one year ago in;

Art Pollard: A forgotten driver...

INDY 500: Reminiscing About the Centennial Race Weekend, Part 3

2013-05-12T10:10:00.000-07:00

Having enjoyed the previous day’s outing at the Autograph session, little did I know that the races Oh So Scintillating Finish would be so exciting! As I still swear I saw sparks trailing down the front straightaway wall as Y’all know who slid by...

An elated Panther Racing crew celebrates victory prematurely upon lap 199 as J.R. Hildebrand takes the white flag while leading. (DOB)

Sunday, May 29

95^th Indianapolis 500 Race

Unfortunately most of my Raceway memories are gone - since I didn’t manage to jot them down upon returning from Indy... thus I’ll just leave you with the remaining highlights, and although it was definitely warm out that day, it would be nothing compared to the following year’s blistering H-O-T temperature! As I vaguely recall sitting outside in front of the fountain near the IMS Hall of Fame museum? Whilst we awaited my ‘Kuhnaidiun “Bro” Rob to return from his souvenir shopping escapade, whilst I’d become his honorary brother due to my sporting my I AM ‘KUHNAIDIUN T-Shirt today in support of ‘TAG (Alex Tagliani) starting from Pole; as Tagliani really deserves to have more than one stinkin’ IndyCar victory in his resume, eh?

The coolest exhibit we perused pre-race; NO! NOT the ‘Chebbie caravan, but was an amazing ‘Tarsch-jey Cut-away car display, as Rob pointed out various portions of I-T to Mwah before we finally sauntered off in the direction of our seats, situated fairly low down upon the main straightway directly across from Pitlane.

As this year, although I’d been granted access to the Media Centre once again, I’d opted instead to purchase a grandstand seat and sit outside and enjoy the REAL ambience of Raceday at thee GURR-RATEST Spectale in Racing! As I appreciated the Blogger media access granted but just wanted to not sit inside the hushed confines of that Fishbowl again...

Thus, tagging along with Dave & Rob, I recall a few drunken fans behind us pre-race asking facetiously if they could just use my back to brace their program against while trying to sort out who was in what car... Pretty funny; NOT! Hmm, welcome to the real Indy?

Yet Kudos to IMS for doing the unthinkable and running a veritable treasure trove of those priceless antique classics from the Hall of Fame museo - as ‘Ol Rufus Parnelli Jones was entrusted to drive the Marmon Wasp around the track in the pre-race festivities as just one of the number of hand picked drivers piloting such treasures...

Thus it was funny hearing Parnelli in early 2013 on Trackside with Kevin & Cavin admitting he’d heard ‘Somme-thun go KABLAMOE as he motored down the back-straight, as the Wasp had thrown a piston and left a major sized hole in its block; Aye Karumba!

Where’d Everybody Go? Turn 2 Grandstands after the race. (DOB)

And I really don’t recall the events of the race other than all of our favourites seemed to fall out early, with “Symona-Symona” (de Silvestro) tagging the wall early and ultimately retiring on L24. Davey ‘STUD Hamilton packing it up early and ‘BIA being a non-factor, not to mention the I AM ‘KUHNAIDIUN Feel Good Mojo having NO effect upon ‘TAG’s race outing...

And then I think it was with about 30-laps remaining? A fairly short gal with blond hair directly in-front of me decided to stand upon her bleacher seat for the remainder of the race; you gotta be joking, right? And then it got exciting with ten-to-go as all of the leaders running fuel mileage strategies were forced to pit for fuel as it looked like J.R. Hildebrand would win the sports biggest race in his I500 debut... Which CARPETS snapped a great pic of the Panther Racing crew celebrating prematurely; Uhm? What’s that tag-line about the joy of victory and agony ‘O defeat? Whilst I still say I saw sparks flittering down the front straightaway on the final lap as Dan Wheldon took an improvable victory over the careening No. 4! And we get it Dan, you’ll be wearing your ‘Willy Rapps jeans at the victory banquet - although it was fun hearing the raw emotion in his voice as he and team owner Bryan Herta enjoyed their victory lap around IMS...

Pressdog: Notes taken during the 2011 Indy 500

DannyBoy ‘SPIKE Wheldon does his victory strut upon the Red Carpet at the J.W. Marriott pre Victory Banquet. (DOB)

Monday, May 30

After a few morning errands, Dave asked me if I wanted to get my photo taken with John Force? Whale at least I think it’s Force, as we parked outside of his racing shop in Brownsburg – which is somewhat Karmic since upon returning home, I heard an interview with John ‘THE MOUTH Force saying how he’d just attended his very first ever Indy 500 this year, spending time in Tony George’s suite along with having some sorta ‘Flopper (Funny Car) display at IMS for 3-days...

We walked up a series of starch white concrete steps that led to a small, shaded semi-circle area with a bronze of Eric Medlen, who’d lost his life in a testing accident aboard one of Force’s Ford Mustang Top Fuel ‘FunnyCarz during a testing accident in 2007.

Medlen succumbs to injuries suffered in recent testing accident

Museum

’CARPETS took me to the IMS Hall of Fame museum after our brief jaunt to Brownsburg and “Flatliners Row,” where a number of NHRA teams are based - as the museum has become a yearly tradition to which I look forward to each ‘N every year. And thus instead of trying to re-create the wheel so to speak, I’ll just point Y’all instead at the first of my ‘Mega 3-part review in;

IMS Hall of Fame museum - 2010 Visit

Or simply scroll (way) down to bottom and click on the to continue link to jump to this year’s portion of the story...

Awards Banquet

And for what would become an Oh So Memorable Nightcap to the day’s activities, Dave asked if I wanted to go Downtown to the J.W. Marriott and try seeing if we could spot any of the IndyCar Driver’s and their Better Halfs sauntering into the victory banquet upon the Marriot’s Red Carpet - which not only did we get to be entertained by Dan Wheldon and see other B-I-G names entering, but! Little did I know my life was about to change by getting a personal photograph with Queen You-know-Who...

Danica gets the Last Laugh!

(DOB: Photos Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

INDY 500: Reminiscing About the Centennial Race Weekend, Part 2

2013-05-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

Having started off with a rollicking good time on Carb Day, the weekend just continued getting better in my mind; after all, its NOT everyday I get to meet ‘N greet an ex-Formula 1 driver!

Saturday, May 28

World’s Largest Autograph Session

Dave took me to the world’s largest autograph session at IMS, where we stood somewheres outside the Pagoda for nearly two hours in the hot sun, as all of my memories are fleeting, (trying to ‘Poound out the final tidbits of this story some 2yrs later...) albeit I fondly remember while standing in line and gabbing away, the man in front of us cracked up when I replied to Dave: shouldn’t Danica be in the center spread?

Very cool Target Dallara “CRAPWAGON” Cut-away car on IMS grounds. (DOB)

Upon arriving lazily ‘round 10:30-11AM at the IMS grounds before getting in line, I still had yet to procure anything for the drivers to autograph; CRIKEYS! Thus I settled upon the 2011 IMS Centennial program as my weapon of choice - after having bought a With You Japan T-Shirt that just so happened to magically appear in front of the gift store where we located a program ‘Hawker; as the T-Shirts were being sold to help Takuma Sato’s charitable work in support of the multiple children devastated by the Tsunami that ravaged Japan earlier that year.

And thanxs solely to Dave, who did the majority of legwork ‘N spotting - I got the following fourteen drivers “John Hancock’s” during the day’s Centennial Autograph session.

Drivers

Janet Guthrie, Massimiliano Papis, Mark Dismore, Andy Hillenburg, Cory Witheral, Ted Prappas, Shiggy Hatori, Herm Johnson, Stefan Johansson, Arie Luyendyk, Roberto Guerrero, Eliseo Salazar, Jonny Unser and Gary Bettenhausen.

(Drivers listed in order of autographing)

Before we’d even gotten into the autograph line, Janet Guthrie comes out into crowd causing a – ‘Mega Mob scene trying to get her John Hancock, as I believe The First Female to race at Indy is now a youthful 73yrs young; Hmm; Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot? As I can still recall STUPID people shoving a young girl waiting patiently to get Janet’s autograph out of the way; SHEISA! C’mon people, pull your head’s out...

Then having fallen into the Gynormous line CARPETS begins spotting different drivers and casually asking: do you want their autograph? While I stand in line Dave hunts down the super affable MAD MAX, who tells him along with the crowd, he’ll need to wait a moment since;

Massimiliano “MAD MAX” Papis:

“My wife sez I’ve gotta get my picture taken with Janet!”

Yet like the majority of the drivers we approached; ‘Whale Otay, mostly Dave - they were all super friendly and accommodating with all of our requests - with the exception of two NO-names. (Although I must confess I’ve had nothing but wonderful interactions with 33 of the 36 past ‘N present drivers I’ve met to date at Mother Speedway...)

As really Mr. Dismore? Is that the best Yuhs can do? As he simply signed my program as DIZ - which I guess certainly cuts down upon hand strain, eh?

Your No Fenders scribe poses for another picture with some Pagoda as a backdrop. (DOB)

Having stood for nearly two hours outside and bantering over which of my “TOP” Drivers autograph I wanted, I cannot recall who my other choices were, since drivers are broken up into blocks of six for different time sessions and as we approached decision time I made the following bold choice.

Having just been to Sweden the summer prior along with being a ‘Mega F1 Aficionado whilst seeing who was “Still on the Board,” my selection was easy and hence I chose the following grouping of: Andy Hillenburg, Cory Witheral, Ted Prappas, Shiggy Hatori, Herm Johnson and the ‘legendous “Stevie Johnson!” (Stefan Johansson)

As we approached the first victim, Andy Hillenburg was super polite, said hello to us and chatted with us briefly before saying to us, just slide I-T in front of them... As the next two drivers were too enthralled in their own private conversation to even look up or stop talking when we tried approaching them; URGH!

Attentione Drivers

Now I’m sure that these two ‘Blokes are nice Gents; BUTT! FYI: if a blind or visually impaired person brandishing a white cane approaches you please at least make some sort of verbal communication with them, since they CANNOT BLOODY SEE YOU! And hence, two years later I still harbour the sentiments that Cory Witheral & Ted Prappas were DICKS!

Funnier yet, the next seat belonging to Shiggy Hatori was empty, as Shiggy came rushing back in as we approached his spot - having needed to make a Pitstop in the Loo; Hya! But at least he was commutative to us, before moving onto ‘HJ (Herm Johnson) who also was polite to us.

And then Dave announced to Mwah, there he is! As in a one Messer Johansson as I madly wracked my brain for ‘Somme-thun intelligent to say to him... Eureka! As Stefan seemed genuinely amazed when I told him I’d seen his F2 car in Anderstorp the past summer... Oh? What were you doing there he replied. As I told him I’d gone to visit friends who’d taken me to Tico’s wonderful ‘lil museum to which Stefan mused that he’s got more of my cars in storage for display, before I asked him what happened to the planned Race of Champions? Ah, that was a shame, but they simply didn’t have the money, and thus I was elated having just spoken to an ex-Scuderia Ferrari and McLaren Grand Prix Piloto!

Swedish Day Trippin’

Thus as we stepped outta the line, Dave said there’s Arie Luyendyk, who Dave hailed down for me who signed quickly in his professorial style - as Dave still gives me grief for telling Arie I’d heard him on The Don Kay Show, (Autosport Radio) cymbol crash please...

And as we waited outside to meet up with D.B. Cooper, Dave spotted four more willing suspects and promptly set off to gather me Roberto Guerrero, Eliseo Salazar, Jonny Unser and Gary Bettenhausen’s autographs. As “Greasy ‘Ol Salad bar” (Eliseo Salazar) was pretty funny by insisting he sign his page inside the program instead - as every time I think of Salazar I recall him passing his BOSS Robby ‘Dirtman Gourdoun’s (Gordon) stricken Hummer during the 2011 Dakar... What do you mean he’s passed me; WHOOPS!

Parnelli Jones at the control of the Marmon Wasp during pre-race festivities. (DOB)

Johnny Unser was super cool, stopping for us and chit-chatting awhile before Dave spotted Gary Bettenhausen - while later on upon meeting Daniel Baines Cooper who mockingly said out loud: there’s Dr. Jack Miller; aren’t YOU gonna get Dr. Jack’s signature? To which we decided to just leave him alone with his family before entering the mammoth memorabilia show where I scooped up another Justin ‘B-I-G UNIT Wilson autographed “Hero Card” for a momentous single ‘Smackeroo...

To continue reading, see; INDY 500: Reminiscing About the Centennial Race Weekend, Part 3

(DOB: Photos Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

INDY 500: A Centennial Race Weekend to Remember...

2013-05-08T09:28:00.000-07:00

So it’s funny – stealing a cliché from Mr. Dashley (Dario Franchitti) about starting to GET IT! As in starting to understand exactly just what Indy means... Just when I was beginning to feel this euphoria – the whole DISGUSTING Bump Day Shenanigan’s thrust upon us by Mikey Andretti in order to appease his sponsors DHL & Sundrop and BUY Ryan Hunter-Reay’s way into the 95^th running of the Indianapolis 500 were dumped upon us, as this travesty made me feel completely Gutted ‘N wonderin’ why in the HELL had I bothered spending several hours of a weekend watching this year’s Pole & ‘Boomp Day? As I can only imagine the uproar if it’d been Danica instead... But how ‘bout that mesmerizing race day performance by Hunter-Reay, eh? (Can you say P23?)

Unbeknownst to Mwah, your humble No Fenders scribe was made an Honorary ‘Kuhnaidiun in support of ‘TAG whilst modeling his world famous floppy hat! (DOB)

Alas, having already purchased my Aeroplane ticket many months ago, not to mention looking forward to another weekend’s outing at a racetrack with good friends, sunshine and the ambience of Motorsports all around Mwah; as I LUV the smell ‘O Ethanol in the Morning!

Yet I still DON’T know why I booked a flight leaving Seattle at 6:15AM – which means I’d awoken at OH DARK-30 in order to begin the frivolities of Airport travel – as my first ‘Handler (Wheelchair Assist) asked me why in the HELL are you traveling on a Thursday before Memorial Day Sir? As he walked me thru an overly humongous crowd in Denver’s airport, where all of the flights seemingly departed at the same time – Oh Yeah, that’s right! I’d wanted to get to Indianapolis before nightfall and my arrival time worked out well, as Indiana Bureau Chief Daniel Baines Cooper was awaiting me at the Security border of my flight’s arrival gate – musing: ‘GEEZ! Even the Pilot beat Yuhs off of the Aeroplane; Yuck-yuck-yuck!

Then Danny whisked us over to some ‘lil ‘Ol racetrack at 16^th & Georgetown to the IMS Administration building to pick up my awaiting media credential before becoming ensnared in “Rush Hour” traffic upon our evening’s dining spot, the Jonathan Byrd’s Cafeteria, which reputedly is known as the Worlds Largest Cafeteria - seeming somewhat symbiotic to partake my initial foray into this eatery, since I’d long known of the late Jonathan Byrd’s name due to his long running involvement in Indy Cars, having even won the 1997 Indy 500 as Co-owner of Tredway Racing’s Arie Luyendyk chassis, albeit I remember Byrd more for his sponsorship of Dick Simon’s CART racing cars...

Restaurant and race car owner Jonathan Byrd dies

Carb Day: Friday, May 27

Dave “CARPETS” O’Brien: Dave, Dave’s NOT here! (‘Ol Cheech ‘N Chong routine...) And Mwah left to meet a few friends for a Caravan to the Speedway for Carb Day, albeit I found traffic into the Brickyard to be somewhat atrocious – as it’d take us two hours to make our way into the Infield, Thanxs to the parking pass IMS included with my media credential – as we ended up parking upon the Formula One backstretch; Y’all know that portion of tarmac Uncle Bobby thinks needs to be torn-up; Oh Never Mind!

And ‘CARPETS timing was impeccable as we sauntered down the front straightaway on the infield side of the track, walking past many of the Pit boxes which Dave read off to me as we passed each awaiting IndyCar driver & crew eagerly awaiting to begin the final Tune-up practice session before Raceday, before we clambered up a stairway to first stand and then finally sit in some bleachers. And it was amazing how cool it was Friday, as I think I was even accused of bringing Seattle’s weather with me? And spent the entire day in a jacket & long pants...

Centennial Pace car driver ‘SuperTex, aka A.J. Foyt behind the wheel of 2011 Camaro at IMS. )DOB)

And the cool weather also seemed to play into the opening minutes of the ‘BigBoyz practice session, as ‘HULIO was clocked doing a scintillating lap of 136mph; WTF? As I commented how I couldn’t see any useful data being acquired by everybody running such slow speeds? As I think Justin ‘BIG UNIT Wilson was the first driver to crack 200mph – with Dave reading off to me the slowly increasing speeds which I presume he was seeing posted upon one of the track’s Big Screens?

This was a somewhat weird way to rekindle my Indy Car lore, as it’d been just over ten months since I’d witnessed the ‘BigCarz running in anger Up North Eh! Around Edmonton’s City Centre airport (to which I still haven’t managed to scribble ‘bout yet; CRIKEYS!) Yet the funnest part of the IndyCar session was my being able to observe the multitude of shiny, small, colourful blurbs burble, snort and snarl their way down Pitlane to their respective pit stalls.

Afterwards we sauntered back down the stairs to stand directly in front of Pitlane listening to all of the compressed air bottles going Pop- Pop- Pop- Pop... As they were all emptied before being shut off with Dave pointing out the various drivers going by; as ‘TK Follow-your-Schnoz (Kanaan) walked by and waved to all of the fans, along with “Simona-Simona” (de Silvestro) resplendent in her “Mickey Mouse” gloves waving from her cockpit.

Then ‘CARPETS said there goes Kurty Cavin, do you wanna meet him? Next thing I knew Dave was yelling Yo Kurt Cavin and we both began waving frantically(?) at the mystified IndyStar scribe who politely turned around and came over to talk to us. Dave introduced me as Cavin stuck his enormous ‘Paw thru the slit in the fence and we shook hands – with Cavin saying” “I’d heard you may be coming out...” WTF? How in the HELL does he know? Telling Kurt I’d been listening to Trackside all month long, Kurt replied: You’ve been busy! While Dave interjected He’s a Zanardi fan, to which Cavin replied; so am I...

Next, we joined our Caravan friends who weren’t able to park inside and had to park elsewhere’s, as I believe when we arrived that the infield was then only open to those with parking passes... As our group made its way upstairs to the second level of terrace seats just south of the Pagoda - where we watched an overly chaotic Freedom 100 Indy Lights race – which seemed to have been run under more yellow flag laps then green? As I couldn’t see the nasty Turn-1 crash that ended the race under yellow, as hopefully all of the drivers were ok? After our friends left to go home, Susie & Debbie dropped by us to say hello to ‘CARPETS, during an overly LONG, drawn-out Pitstop competition, before meandering off to the fast approaching Carb Day concert’s twin bill of Poppa Roach & Staind; as in that’s stain with a D on the end of it – right, Dave? Yuck-yuck-yuck...

Afterwards we dropped by our favourite Waterin’ Hole, The Flagroom, which sadly lacks the ambiance, flair & frivolity pre-remodeling, as the once colorfully adorned walls with motorsport artist Ron “The Painter” Burton’s artwork are now bare – and even worse yet, UNEXCUSABLY! ‘Juan ‘O Burton’s $10,000 originals vanished during the remodeling, to which most understandably, Messer Burton is most upset by...

’BIA, nee Ana Beatriz on the Red Carpet - on her way into the Victory Banquet at the JW Marriott. (DOB)

Upon exiting the stale Flagroom, ‘CARPETS said; I think that’s ‘BIA? Before saying Hi Ana (Beatriz) to the fast approaching woman sporting a No. 24 baseball cap – as Ana then stopped and walked back towards us and said: Where are you guys going? The party’s just starting... As ‘BIA was on her way into the Last Row Ball being held next-door...

Having situated ourselves in a pair ‘O LazyBoy recliners at ‘CARPETZ MANOR, Dave & I took turns “Wresting-our-eyes” whilst awaiting Rob’s arrival from Toronto – as we’d accidently lucked into a wonderful Year-by-Year narrative of the Indy 500 race on some local Indianapolis TV channel narrated by the recently deceased Tom Carnegie, having begun watching the program on the year 1971 – it was strange listening to The Captain’s youthful voice, when he was simply known as Roger Penske, the leader of those Crew Cut spit ‘N polish Boyz; enroute to capturing his first Borg Warner trophy with the late Mark Donohue in 1972. Then ‘CARPETS & I took turns dozing thru the ‘80’s before Rob finally arrived from his 11+ hour trek to Indy. And as we yakked ‘bout various topics, mostly IndyCars, (obviously) Mr. Carnegie was rudely replaced by a Miss Indiana beauty pageant, as Carnegie, who I mused had been talking nonstop for the past 3hrs was simply replaced by somebody telling us about Cathy, a 22yr old film maker...

To continue reading, see; INDY 500: Reminiscing About the Centennial Race Weekend, Part 2

(DOB: Photos Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

INDY 500: Two More join the Show...

2013-05-07T13:24:00.000-07:00

W-O-W! Catching my breath from that amazing Ahem, Street race in Sao Paolo, as talk ‘bout throwin’ some Shrimp upon the Barbie, Mates! As you’ve gotta feel for ‘DJ WillyP, eh? (Will Power) And thus it almost seemed anti-climatic hearing Ol ‘R, thee Curmudgeon ‘O Open Wheel Racing’s Robin Miller chiming in that their Townsend Bell had landed a ride for this year’s Indy 500 along with Buddy ‘Hotrod Rice, in what’s essentially a ride swap - with Bell taking over Rice’s Panther Racing seat while Buddy will now pilot the third Sam Schmidt entry at Mother Speedway which brings us to a whopping 33-entries; Tuh Duh!

Throw in the likes of Bryan Clauson, (KVRT) Jay ‘Funnyman Howard (Schmidt) and Buddy Lazier (Own team) and you’ve got the potential for somewhat honest to gee willikers bumping... Although I think the only problema for the latter two is finding the necessary funding along with an engine, as we’re currently at 17 Honda’s and 16 Chevy’s, which means both engine manufacturers would need to extend one engine further their respective targets of only 17 ‘lumps apiece for Indy...

INDYCAR: Townsend Bell and Buddy rice secure rides for Indy

The Month of May Commences

2013-05-07T11:33:00.000-07:00

While I’m certainly not the first to echo those sentiments above, especially since I spent my formative youth earning my IndyCar rookie stripes at Portland International Raceway instead - during what Ye ‘Ol Timers call thee glory Days ‘O CART and Open Wheel Racing, nevertheless I believe my first infatuation with motor racing came from my childhood memories of Jim McKay and Chris Shenkel stoically calling the action from the fabled Brickyard upon ABC’s Wide World of Sports.

Jim McKay

I also tend to denote in my memory banks that I rekindled watching the Indy 500 in 1985 as I can still somewhat vividly recall ‘Ol Hollywood’s improvable Spin ‘N Win - which for Mwah was great, since I’ve never truly been a fan ‘O thee Andretti’s, first Mario and then especially “Mikey,” as unlike Geo. Phillips who’s a Gynormous Foyt fan, I was an Unser devotee - beginning with BIG AL and then ‘lil Al, before he crashed ‘N burned figuratively. As I grew up in the land ‘O Championship auto Racing Teams when you were either a Mario & Michael or Al Unser Jr. fan, since the first Al and ‘Uncle Bobby had faded from competition, albeit Al Senior made a glorious renaissance in 1987!

And I was gonna try scribbling ‘Somme-thun riveting about this past weekend’s Sao Paolo IndyCar race, but needed a break away from Zed Keyboard upon simply having just been too overwhelmed trying to put together this month’s stories in order to be able to go ‘N play at Indy in less then three weeks time; CRIKEYS!

As I’m sure that the fine folks at IMS and IndyCar will wish to downplay the significance of this year’s race which marks the 40^th Anniversary of what is probably the saddest Indy 500 in recent memory? Of which I won’t try recapping other than to say that the month’s activities took the life’s of two drivers, first Art Pollard in practice and then Swede Savage’s, whilst another casualty of that race occurred when a crew member was fatally struck by an errant emergency vehicle - not to mention a driver named Salt being involved in a horrific looking first lap shunt.

Salt Walther perishes for Good this Time

As I find it funny that I’d began scribblin’ this ramble prior to Messer Phillips lamenting over just how horrible that ’73 race was. Yet I suppose I was intrigued by the intense talent it requires of both man or woman and machine to hurtle themselves about the confines of Mother Speedway at such prodigious speed - knowing Y’all gotta make a left into Turn-1 cleanly...

Thus I still recall when I could actually S-E-E the crawl strip on the bottom of the TV along with all of the onscreen graphics and making hand drawn charts of the Indianapolis 2.5-mile oval broken down into all four straightaways plus corners and jotting down A-L-L of the corresponding speeds comprising each laps performance - which for reasons unknown I still recollect this most strongly for Robby ‘Dirtman Gordon, before he became “gordoun” in my mental notebook for his helmet tossing shenanigans...

As I recall guffawing GLEEFULLY when learning after the fact (since I tend to think I watch I-T on Sportscentrr?) Robby ran outta fuel whilst leading the 1999 Indy 500 with two laps remaining - as Gordon had slipped over to thee DARK side by then as OOPS! There’s that nasty thingy called The Split surfacing again...

Fast forward a further decade-plus to when we STUPIDLY lost Dan Wheldon in an era of remarkably “Safe” racing cars - it seems fitting that two drivers who’ve overcome the adversity of being upside down and on fire will be contesting this year’s Indy 500, no less being two-thirds of this year’s Female quotient - that being “Symona-symona” (de Silvestro) and Pippa Mann.

Thus it only seems fitting that forty years later we’re running the race in what most seemingly call a very safe racecar, as in the Dallara DW12, albeit its legacy I suppose is still unwritten, not to mention who’ll drink this year’s buttermilk...

And while I suppose many will be going GaGa over the possibility of either Dario or Castroneves joining the pantheon of revered four-time winners - which I’d personally wish to see NOT happen, with victory going instead to somebody like Oriel Servia, Justin Wilson, Alex Tagliani, Tony Kanaan, Ed Carpenter or Takuma Sato. Nonetheless, I’d still rather be seeing ‘Ol DannyBoy ‘SPIKE Wheldon aiming for his third Indianapolis victory instead!

1973 - A Year to Forget

2013 Indy 500 Pace car revealed...

2013-05-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

Are Y’all sittin’ down? Ready? Uh gee Wally, guess what? Its ‘Chebbie pacing the field this year at Indianapolis; YAWN! As I’m starting to think that GM must hold exclusivity rights to Mother Speedway? I mean 17-years in-a-row; WTF? C’mon Indy, how ‘bout letting Ford’s Mustang or Chrysler’s Viper have a turn again.

NO word on whether or not thee ‘Trumptster sans new haircut will be behind the wheel; my isn’t that a nice looking Beaver ‘Beave? Did somebody say Justin Beaver? Oh wait I think he’s busy repenting right now; Oh Never Mind! As I’m sure IMS will choose somebody riveting this year to pace the field; Hmm? ‘Wunder if Ryan Seacrest is available, eh?

2013 Indy 500 Pace car announced