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Banana Gangbang Rock Festival 2: For The Second Time Around Again!

Ade — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Hey guys, remember The Man Blog? I know it’s been down for some time already but guess what, they managed to get the site back online (well, the forums at least) albeit under a new domain name.

Awesome poster made by Larry, by the way.

To celebrate TMB’s glorious (low-key) comeback, Mike and I decided to stage another Banana Gangbang Rock Festival (pictures from the first BGRF here, by the way), where my bands and Mike’s band play on stage and we’d do embarrassing shit that nobody in their right mind is capable of doing.

(...)

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A Comparative Review of Freshman Masculine Wash and PENI Fresh Male Organ Wash Soap

Ade — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 05:56:30 +0000

There comes a time where every man has to stop so he can contemplate about life in general. Of course, that’s a joke. No man ever stops to contemplate life, or if they ever attempt to do so, they usually end up opening up their computer, navigating to their secret porn folder of shame, then whacking off to some video of a German girl with hairy armpits getting banged to shit by five ugly assholes.

And that’s when the epiphany hits: us men touch our dicks day in and day out. Imagine all the dirt that ends up on our wieners. These things need special attention, and no I’m not talking about blowjobs. A special soap for them doohickeys between our legs, it’s what we need.

Fortunately, a couple of enterprising manufacturers have thought of that too, and have given us these pinnacles of civilization:

Freshman Masculine Wash

Freshman Masculine Wash seems to be on the brink of a multimedia advertising campaign to bring the benefits of washing your crotch with their specially formulated wash to the public. In fact, they’ve assembled a handy FAQ to help us plebeians understand why we need to wash our crotches.

They also have the classiest taglines.

(...)

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Doctor Who: The Big Bang [REVIEW]

Ade — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:45:42 +0000

Sorry: very Doctor Who-intensive post ahead. Sorry for those who don’t watch this show – or rather I feel sorry for you.

If it’s not obvious from my tweets these last few months, I’m pretty much a huge Doctor Who fan right now. The current season turned me from a casual “download it when I have the time, Billie Piper has nice tits doesn’t she” watcher to a “holy shit when is the next episode coming out goddammit” Who-head. Wait, is there even such a term as Who-head? Anyway, yeah. Doctor Who rocks. Also, the fact that the girl playing Amy Pond, Karen Gillan, is arguably one of the cutest women on TV right now, helps.

Wait.

Disturbing obsessions with The Doctor’s cute companion aside, I found Doctor Who season five to be an insanely addictive show. It’s got all sorts of weird timey-wimey stuff mixed with just the right amount of camp to appeal to anyone with a passing interest in time travel stories. The 11th Doctor, Matt Smith, is just way too much fun to watch, filled to the brim with manic energy. From the way he was jumping everywhere, talking too fast in technobabble, and trying to scare his enemies into submission with “IM THE DOCTOR!” as he waved his sonic screwdriver around, you just know that he’s having a grand time playing The Doctor.(...)

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Maybe Getting A Guest Blogger Wasn’t Such A Great Idea After All

Ade — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 04:53:00 +0000

Ever wake up one day, realizing that there’s just way too many things to do and all the time in the world isn’t enough for you to accomplish all of the shit you need to get done? You see, like you, I have been doing a lot of work (it’s pretty much hush-hush stuff, but I think I can tell you that it involves burgers, snorting crushed diatabs, a huge poster of Batman, and long periods of furious, teary-eyed masturbation), and I swear, there’s just no time to get anything done. Also, I realized that this blog of mine is getting a little bit neglected.

Instead of doing the practical thing – you know, shutting this blog down already because a 27-year old guy blogging about boners, Maria Ozawa, and all that mature shit is kind of getting wrong already, I decide to solder on. But I decided to try a different strategy: get a guest blogger.

Unfortunately, my emails to Seth Godin, Guy Kawasaki, and Neil Gaiman went unanswered (in hindsight, threatening to leave a burning pile of dog poo on their porches if they refuse was a little overkill, I suppose) so I needed to find someone to fill in for me, and quick. I was hoping to find a hot and nerdy girl because why the fucking hell not?(...)

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Moratorium: Liking Your Own Facebook Status

Ade — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 07:13:39 +0000

To the people who like their own Facebook statuses, I have one simple question: why?

Please tell me. Are you desperate to have people liking your well-thought of and meticulously researched status (and you researched by googling for “love quotes” – but hey that took up seven minutes of your time, plus that Angelfire page crashed your Internet Explorer and that counts for something, right?) that you have to jumpstart the process by liking it yourself?(...)

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In this Entry Ade Will Fail To Create A Workable Diet Plan (Again)

Ade — Sun, 30 May 2010 05:15:11 +0000

I have a history of trying out a couple of ways to lose weight and failing at them, miserably. Everytime. Losing weight is kind of a pressing matter for me, because I am slowly starting to resemble a blimp and blimps walking around in malls aren’t generally accepted in society. Anyway, yeah, diet. I need to do it fast. Plus exercise.

Finding lunch that doesn’t leave me starving five minutes after I take my last bite isn’t exactly an easy feat. If I want to be full, I’d either go to one of the several fast-food outlets that are surrounding the office. Now that’s a bit of a problem, you see, because I usually go crazy and order the fucking biggest items on their menu and gorge like a pig. This usually results in me scaring the shit out of the people in the next table — you should see the looks of horror on their faces as they watch me eat the shit out of my fried chicken.(...)

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And There Was That Time Jollibee Showed Up On Glee

Ade — Thu, 20 May 2010 05:18:32 +0000

Apparently, it takes just a little for people to get excited over mundane shit. You see, yesterday, Jollibee was on Glee. And the internet literally just exploded. No, the kids of Glee didn’t eat there or anything. They just danced in front of the fucking store, in a dream sequence, and of course it was caught on camera.

Strangely enough, the internet was flooded with way too much Jollibee on Glee talk that it even was a trending topic on Twitter. Okay. Jollibee unseated Justin Fucking Bieber from the top of Twitter Trends. Imagine that.

Now I don’t know about you, but a normal reaction to seeing the said sequence on Glee would be “Oh, look, Jollibee on Glee. That’s kinda cool,” and then I’d move on with my life. Maybe if Jollibee the mascot also came out and danced with the Glee kids, it would be awesome.(...)

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Maybe I should be a supervillain instead

Ade — Sun, 16 May 2010 06:31:38 +0000

Now maybe I’ve been stretching myself a little too thin lately, but I’m really feeling a bit burnt out. You see, juggling stuff between my three bands, my job, and blogging duties, I might have actually bit a little more than what I can chew. Right now I find myself falling asleep in all the weirdest places and times. Okay, so it may not be a really big deal, but try explaining to the cops that you just woke up and you have no idea why you’re in the middle of Cubao naked and hugging a blow-up love doll. I swear, it boggles the mind up to this day – no, wait, I can explain!

I probably deserve a vacation, but I just took one and it turned into a drunken blur – I don’t remember much from it, and I think I’m better off not knowing what I missed. There’s a hazy memory of being woken up in the bus by a soft and steady chanting of “Cheeseburger, Chicken, Cheeseburger” from some random guy dressed in orange, and I’m really scared how the rest of my missing memories will turn out.(...)

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Iron Man 2 Review

Ade — Tue, 04 May 2010 19:52:12 +0000

Over at Comicgasm, RJ and I sat down and thought about Iron Man 2. This was pretty difficult for me, because you know I think about Batman most of the time, and switching over that brain power to think about Iron Man was pretty draining. But there was way too much about Iron Man 2 to talk about that I don’t think that a simple review here would suffice. And apparently, we managed to write a review while we were at it.

It proved that Comicgasm editors, when working together, leads to the worst sex-related jokes that we can possibly come up with individually. It was like we were competing for the leadership of hell or something.

If you don’t believe me, check out some few choice sentences from the review:

RJ: Random thought: They should totally make a porn parody of Iron Man, Lexi Belle as Pepper? Yes please!
Ade: I agree. I can imagine it already: “Well, Pepper, you’d have to know why I’m called Iron Man. You see, iron NEVER goes soft. So yes, Pepper, I am made of iron DOWN THERE! In case you’re too dim to figure it out honey, my dick’s made of iron! Because it never goes soft! That’s why it’s made of iron! That’s they call me Iron Man! Because I never go sof–”

Classy.

So don’t you just sit there, go over to Comicgasm and read our Roundtable Review of Iron Man 2!

[The Iron Man 2 poster came from here, by the way]

A Letter To 23-Year Old Ade, From The Future (Obligatory Birthday Post)

Ade — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 05:00:37 +0000

Dear 23-Year Old Ade,

Hi. Don’t be creeped out, but this is you. From the future. Four years into the future, to be exact. This is Future Ade on my (our?) 27th birthday, in one of those rare introspective moods you and I get into. I have no idea if this letter will be able to travel back in time four years, but what the hell, I’m writing anyway.

The thing is, you just turned 23, and you’re enjoying life. You just graduated from college, working at your first job, and also new to this blogging thing. No, your Livejournal does not count. You’re posting loads of shit that you’re going to reread years later while cringing in embarrassment.

By the way, you’re going to run into a lot of things that will turn your life upside-down. But don’t worry, nothing’s going to be too big for you to handle; in fact, you’re going to handle many things life throws your way rather fine. I won’t say that you’re going to go about a lot of things with finesse, because your inherent clumsiness shows in the way you deal with things in life. And that’s a good thing. I think.(...)

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