It isn’t often that I discuss porn and hotels in the same breath.

This time I couldn’t resist.

It’s no surprise I’ve partnered with HostelBookers, but was honestly not expecting such luxuries when I got to Puerto Princessa.

I was barred from visiting the Underground River, because Typhoon Washi hit the Philippines with 90 kmh winds, killing 436 in Mindanao.  The usually packed caves were flooded and I was adrift.

After the sad news of that many deaths and stalled plans, solace had to be my best friend.

In the frenzy of moving around, I sipped from the cup of hotel porn, because dammit, I deserve a soft mattress and a steamy, hot shower once in a while.

Hostels can cause a woman to feel downright celibate.  House of Rose threw open the floodgates, so to speak.

Ahh, the pool

I can testify: mattress was soft

The shower was hot and large - enough for 2 people (meow)

The pool table offered entertainment and then some

The charming bungalows and pool

After that intense affair, I didn’t think it could get any better.  Once I arrived to El Nido, Lally and Abet’s Beach Cottages nibbled on my neck and seduced me.  It was an attractive mix of everything I love about the ocean – salty, wet, zen and daydreams.

It was also Christmas, which was the honey to my mint tea.

The grounds and cottages - lovely lines

Christmas decorations comforted me

I had it ALL to myself

An actual sitting area - I was spoiled

The view in my backyard - El Nido

Dazzling Joyeux Noel

(Inhaling a cigarette.)  Mmmm… yes, sorry.  Where was I?  (Rolls over in bed to face her audience.)

I feel satisfied.  Was it good for you?

The concept of this post rings deadly true for me.  When I began planning my cubicle escape, I had to re-imagine my life and how it would look.  When we move to change things there has to be a new picture, one that you create.  Sally Hope can inspire you to do just that.  Enjoy the fourth video in her Rockstar Life Series.

Greetings Nomadic readers!!

I’m Sally.  A life coach, but don’t hold that against me.

Coaching is all about creating the kind of life you want, and really, how awesome is that?

I am so glad that Jeannie invited me to talk to you guys because hopefully I can help with some of those ol’ pesky “How’s” in your life.  Like, “HOW do I get the things I want in my life?” and “HOW do I go from where I am now, to where I want to be?” As a life coach, that’s my job.  To help you get crystal clear on what your big vision is for your ideal life, help you come up with a plan to execute it, provide accountability for you so you’ll actually do it, and be here with you all along the way to give you virtual hugs and encouragement, and cheerleading and to say, “YEAH!!! You can do this…frickin GO FOR IT!!!”

When you are “going for it,” I like to call that “creating your Rockstar Life.”  To me, a Rockstar Life is all about living the kind of life you want, creating your own rules, and not taking ‘no’ for an answer.  It’s about being willing to go out of your comfort zone.  No rockstar got where they are without taking risks and deciding that their life was going to be the way they wanted it.

And that’s what I’m here for.  To help you realize and create your Rockstar Life.

This post is the fourth installment out of a five step series on how to “Create Your Rockstar Life.”  The first three steps were: 1) Leave the House,  2) Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway, and  3) Don’t Wait For The Right Time (because it will never show up).  Today’s post is called “Create Your Own Rules.”

When we have big dreams for ourselves, they are always going to seem scary and intangible.  And what’s worse, you will probably have people in your life that have told you in the past or currently tell you a million reasons why your dream is a bad idea.  And what’s even worse is that you have your OWN messages that you tell yourself as to why you can’t have what you want.

All of these things are “other people’s rules.”  Maybe your parents have told you that you should get a stable and secure job, even though in your heart, you want to be an entrepreneur.  Or maybe you had someone tell you that you’re not good enough or won’t be able to create your dreams.   Or maybe your own negative thoughts prevent you from moving forward on your dreams (“how will I pay the bills?” “that’ll never work,” “I must be crazy”, etc).

Being a rock star is the opposite of listening to any of those messages.

In order to have the life you want, you have to create your own rules. Walk your own path.  Do what feels right to YOU,  regardless if anyone else is on board.  The only way to have a uniquely YOU life, is to do it YOUR way.

So, I have a little exercise for those of you who have a dream:

1.  Write down your dream.
2. Look at it what’s written down and see what messages show up surrounding the dream.
3. Now on a separate piece of paper, make up your own rules surrounding your dream.  Rules that you would make if you knew that everything was going to work out exactly how you wanted it to.
4. Have a blast!

Does any of this sound familiar?  Have you let other people’s messages, or your own negative messages stop you from having something you want?  Leave a comment below and share your experience. 

Who I Is:  Sally Hope is a Blogger/Love and Life Coach who loves hot-pink lipstick, knives, and cowboys.  A former Rockstar, she has taken her show from the stage to the road by traveling around the US in an RV while coaching her clients and inspiring people to live their own Rockstar Lifestyles.  Her latest obsessions include traveling, country swing dancing, motorcycles, LOVE, chips and salsa, and adventuring.  Whatever it is you are wanting in your life, she will help you get there faster, with a good butt kicking, a wink, and a smile.  You can find her at her website or Twitter or getting ridiculous on her YouTube channel.

Since I announced my intention to take a breather from constant movement, it’s been a nail-biting few weeks.  Of negotiations.

I certainly never pictured myself as a scholarly type, molding myself against what Noam Chomsky once said about academia: “Go to any elite university and you are usually speaking to very disciplined people, people who have been selected for obedience..”

Obedience leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.  At my corporate career, I was the imposter, the bad girl in class who gazed longingly out the window, far more intrigued with what lay beyond the glass than the mind numbing tasks before me.

My wanderings around the world taught me color, a vibrancy that academia never provided.  That humans are more complicated, yet relatable. That politics can weave its ugly tapestry that affects families to the poorest level.  How broad, varied, tragic and fantastic this planet really is.

Sadly, a girl has to eat.  And stop for a while.

I must have set aside my ‘bad girl’ status briefly, because I’ve been hired to teach English at a real Chinese university.

I’m very satisfied with the decision because it’s a short contract of five months, part-time hours and happily, I’m provided with accommodations.  That I have to clean.  Cook.  Those will be some interesting posts – how a bad girl cooks and cleans.

Starting in February, for the next few months my shingle will be hanging in Wuxi, China, approximately an hour from Shanghai.

Wuxi is considered a massive suburb of Shanghai and get this; has the third largest lake in China (Lake Tai)!  Lots to explore, much to adjust to, but I feel fired up, very ready.

There I am in the above photo holding all the documents I need to get my work visa in Hong Kong.

This new chapter is thrilling and you will benefit from it.  There is never only one way to explore being abroad, so hopefully I can be your guinea pig.

Will I adopt tweed?  A fake British accent?

One thing I hope to do is inject some sass in the classroom, stir these kids to embrace the wonders of English pronunciation.

Because Mr. Chomsky also said this of young minds: “..If children['s] normal interest is maintained or even aroused, they can do all kinds of things in ways we don’t understand.”

Sometimes the lone female is riddled with worry.  We brook caution at things like safety, security and peace of mind.

When it comes to accommodation, these factors come to the forefront and plague us with questions.  Is there a decent lock on the door?  How secure is the front entrance?  Are my bags and person safe?

Traveling on a long-term basis has allowed me the opportunity to try several kinds of accommodation options.  I use to sway towards the budget-minded tools, exploring things like house-sitting and couchsurfing.  Both were beneficial and rewarding.

Then, in a state of panic last summer, I tried Airbnb and felt the touch of ‘local’ instead of concentrating solely on the budget aspect.  It was wildly successful.  I could actually let down my high alert guard.

In an effort to constantly expand my definition of home, recently I took a hard look at Roomorama.

Based in New York City, Roomorama has been in operation since 2009 and to date, have 30,000 properties listed worldwide.  Not surprisingly, Europe is a strong customer base for holiday rentals, but it might shock you to know Asia is a burgeoning market for Roomorama.

What differs Roomorama from Airbnb is a dash of sophistication for not only the discerning traveler, but for the independent traveler.

I played around on the Roomorama website and was delighted to discover a 7th floor,  67 square meter room with shower, pantry and dining area in Bangkok, for only $11 CDN a night.

If we return to concerns on safety, this is what I think Roomorama is promising.  The hosts range from individually owned homes to managed properties, which could equal to anything from an alarm system to extra locks on doors or even a security guard.  Case in point, the Bangkok apartment I just mentioned has 24-hour security.

Roomorama has employed a unique payment code system, kind of a fail safe.  When a room is booked, you are given a code that you submit to the host upon arrival. Roomorama holds funds until that code is released.  So many scenarios play on the moral principle of right or wrong.  In other words, if the house or room was falsely advertised or vastly unsuitable, there is an option available for you to opt out.

Maybe that elusive peace of mind can be captured and bottled.

Another thing I’m hopeful for with Roomorama is being steeped in a neighborhood that isn’t strictly targeted to tourists.  You know which ones I mean.  Situating myself in a building where everyone else lives, not just among other transplants is an exciting prospect.

Exploring the streets littered with local businesses and institutions is an egg of discovery waiting to be cracked.  Watching parents pick up children from school, gawking at teenagers rough housing and giggling loudly, or fawning over adorable seniors toddling to the corner market are all the things that I miss from home.

Shopping at the markets and cooking from local ingredients is an enticing alternative to always eating out, especially for this vegetarian who’s had constant struggles in countries like the Philippines or Taiwan.  Apparently, chicken or pork is vegetarian.

Roomorama is an appealing addition to the ever growing phenomenon of short-term accommodations available to the modern lady.

And sometimes, a girl just wants a break from the bawdy, disordered social atmosphere of a hostel or feeling like we just landed in the chaos of someone else’s home.

As Virgina Woolf stressed, a “room of one’s own” is important to a woman once in a while.

“15 pigs , that was my order.”

The only evidence that anything occurred were the successive rows of gray ash smudged into the roasting pit.

Joachim was talking about lechón, a traditional dish of roasted pig that’s served for special occasions.

December 8 in Bohol marks the fiesta of the Immaculate Conception.  This kind of fiesta is not of the Spanish variety.  The names may be similar, but the rituals have distinct differences.

The pig roasting pit

Credit goes to the Spanish for introducing Catholicism to the Philippines from the moment of colonial rule from 1521 to 1898.

The Philippines has the largest Catholic worshippers in Southeast Aisa, alongside East Timor.

On December 8, households in Bohol decorate their sitting rooms, set up large dining tables and cook all night to mark the Virgin Mary’s ascent from original sin.

Some locals enjoying fiesta

I found myself outside Joachim’s home by invitation only.  The unending benefits of staying with my friend, Anna are precisely opportunities like this.  It’s doubtful a hostel stay would have produced a fiesta on my lap.

Joachim’s was the last house on the fiesta rounds.

The first house was nestled deep in the Barangay of Baclayon.  The ruddy paved roads and dirt ditches were crawling with cars all intent on partaking in the festivities.

We parked Anna’s motorbike in a patch of grass.  The gate surrounding the house didn’t seem fit for protection, with its thin slats spaced far apart, like gaps in a set of teeth, perhaps it was merely to denote a property line.

Some fellas in on first stop full and happy

A house made of cement blocks was the opening scene of my first fiesta.  The bungalow style with an A-frame roof brought back memories of home, houses of that nature were popular in Canada during the 60’s.

A mix of young and old mulled around the front and side.  We entered by the side patio, slipping off sandals, adding them to a growing pile of flip-flops.

It felt like the entire neighborhood was there.

The smell of oily pork filtered throughout the house as we walked inside.

Food for the Immaculate Conception

The dining table was resplendent with pork and chicken dishes, pancit bihon, lumpia, salads and rice.  We dug in with relish and sat around the mismatched chairs taken from bedrooms and back kitchens.

When we talked to the hostess, she admitted to not knowing everyone in the room.

Such is the nature of the fiesta, no bullfights or fireworks, in Bohol, the emphasis is on community ties.

All are welcome and no one is turned away.  Stranger, friend, cousin, husband, child.

Our generous hostess

And the focus is on sharing a meal, indulging is another way to celebrate.

Wandering from house to house can go all day.  And so it went, we explored another house, until we finished the day at Joachim’s.

I might have been charmed by his nipa style home, or maybe it was bearing witness to the unknowable.  Sturdy bamboo walls surrounded us when I encountered my first lechón.

Lechón is already demolished

I wield a strong stomach for a vegetarian, since I was weaned on Alberta beef, so the sight of an entire pig was more fascinating than offensive.

An absurd amount of food weighed down the table, along with the lechón.  Supposedly lechón skin is crispy, but melts in the mouth.

That’s where I found myself talking about 15 pigs.  Joachim buys pigs by the kilogram, roasts them in a pit in his yard and sells them to families for such occasions.  Somehow, he delivered 15 pigs to families in the area.

Nipa style house

A lechón can cost a family 4,000 to 5,000 pesos, a costly addition, when the average Philippine person earns 150 pesos a day.

That is a testament to their religion and commitment to kinship, some things are worth sacrificing for.  I began to understand why Bohol is called “God’s Little Paradise”.  Religious ritual connects more than sinners and saints, it can bring humans together in harmony, even moments of joy.

My friend, Anna, lechon crazy

Joachim observed when I spotted a trio of young people lounging on a picnic table and drinking in his yard.

“Do ya want some Tanduay?” He shot me a toothless grin.

I smiled back.

For a full listing of the fiestas in Bohol, check out the calendar here: www.bohol.ph.