Nonverbal World - Body Language and Nonverbal Communication

The Power of Handshake

2013-05-01T15:12:00.000+01:00

Shaking hands for success

We’ve already discussed origin of hand shaking ritual and also few valuable tips to retain positive impression of hand shake (How a good hand shake should be?). Along with same, we’ve gone through different types of hand shakes and an unconscious message conveyed by each of them. Now, we’re rethinking about hand shake through an entirely different perspective - scientific experiment and conclusions. It’s definitely going to change the way you engage in hand shake from next time.

What hand shaking is after all? It’s an intentional tactile contact (touch) between palms to two persons for certain amount of time. Also, by norm, palms locked together are moved up and down in vertical direction by two persons repeatedly. If palms are hold firmly (and not crushed) by both persons, dense nerve endings in skin receives great amount of soothing sensation. Even if contact is not extended over long duration as part of formality, the effect is almost similar to a comforting touch taking place between parent and child or two romantic partners. Harmless and tender touch is magic like.

It’s really surprising to know the fascinating outcomes of an experiment that was conducted by a renowned institution. The conclusions not only underline positive evaluation of an individual through a hand shake but also approach or avoidance body language adopted or unconsciously given away by us during interpersonal encounters. As compared to controlling (self-restraining) body language, both approach and avoidance stances are intensely evaluated by different key parts in brain. Both stances are deeply connected with brain’s reward system and mutual benefits that can be gained through a social rapport.

Mutual touching conveys intentions.

Body language of social acceptance or approach is the way we convey to the other person by keeping posture open, making good eye contact, moving or standing close, and exposing torso (upper body) towards the other person. Avoidance is exactly opposite - avoiding eye contact, standing away, moving body away from the other persons or going in opposite direction (in other words - showing your back or closing door on face of somebody). Controlling stance means to remain in closed (upper) body posture in front of the other person.

Typical evaluation scale

Hand shake can give you good ratings on three different evaluative scales - Interest (in doing business), Competence, and Trustworthiness. It can also diminish the negative evaluation or impression due to avoidance stance. Mutual body contact or touch is important not only in social relationship but also in formal or business related association. It not only express your interesting for tie up but also the degree of aptitude and reliability required for conducting different tasks together.

This article is entirely based upon a research conducted at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), United States about Neural Correlates of Evaluative Judgments in Observed Social Interactions in 2012. Research included both fMRI (Functional magnetic resonance imaging) and skin conductance test that derived enlightening conclusion - handshake has neurological basis for positive evaluation of personal approach especially during business deals.

This research had involved human subjects and short video clips (stimulus) were shown to them. Activities inside their brain were monitored in real time and they were also asked to give rating for each social interaction. Sandra Dolcos, Florin Dolcos (University of Illinois), Keen Sung (University of Massachusetts), Jennifer Argo (University of Alberta), and Sophie Flor-Henry (University of Calgary) headed the experiment and paper was published in Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience.

Decoding entrance of The Undertaker

2013-04-01T06:20:00.000+01:00

Indeed, Nonverbal communication is very powerful and pervading. People who know to utilize it well, definitely get an edge over others. Let it be a real or fake life - drama, cinema, or entertainment. Although it’s an area of unconscious mind, one has to watch and consciously explore the hints being passed during natural or crafted interaction or display. Keenly observing and understanding the implication of sensory inputs can bring forward very fascinating yet unnoticeable facts. For that, one has to be very open and enthusiastic towards the world around itself.

The Dead man

Like many others, I’m a great fan of professional wrestling and more interested in nonverbals of the superstars. Many superstars are known not just for muscular and freaky physic but the image, impression, style, and charisma. The Undertaker (original name: Mark William Calaway) is one of them. Indeed, he is the most frightening and successful athlete in the sport entertainment industry. His long running and legendary career has helped WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) in becoming the most famous and profiting company.

After deliberately watching and studying every nonverbal aspect of his entrance, it given away very interesting clues that play with us at unconscious level. When we listen words “Demon of the death valley!...The judge and the jury!…The phenom!…The Undertaker!” loudly uttered by the commentators, we simply get shattered from inside and fix our eyes to witness the wisely crafted yet most dramatic entrance plot in entertainment industry.

Here walks the demon of the death valley!

Although no computer aided effects involved at all but the sensational funeral music (“Graveyard Symphony”) and a video clip showing himself, many symbolic figures, candles, graveyard, and lightning strikes is played in background. Dark blue lights, artificial fog, and gas flares at foreground and surrounding him creates an overall effect of an actual graveyard of mid night. This scene is parallel to the hell we scare to imagine of.

Exactly like immensely unnerving power of special effects, his costume conveys a great nonverbal message to us. He wears a black, broad shouldered, ankle long, and spooky costume which have bumps, metallic buts, strips, edgy frills, and prominent stitches. It adds to mystery and seriousness in entire scene. He looks like a very dominating and fierce creature walking down the ramp towards his prey.

A big black hat or head-cover shedding his eyes (and most of the upper face), cold - emotionless face, no upper body movements, and silent - heavy - sturdy walk definitely intimidate most of us. Additionally, his gloved and clenched fists suggests as if he’s holding some tool or weapon in his hands on his way to the ring. Even if it’s a total gimmick or fake impression to eyes, our ‘believing in what is being seen’ mammalian brain triggers fear and trill in our bodies. We can hardly escape from tight grip same visual impression.

As he enters inside the rings; he walks slowly, widens his legs apart, and stands firmly in front of a competitor. By acting this way, he conveys qualities of a beast which is in no hurry for striking the prey in assurance of no retaliation. This definitely challenges courage of an opponent which is already shattered by the scary entrance. Especially a novice athlete would go out of mind. At last, his slowly removes hat or head-cover and exposes partially closed eyes by making only sclera (white part of human eyes) visible to the opponent. By looking at retina only, we can detect if somebody is alive and looking at us or some other things. Hence this kind of (no) eye contact is a scariest display conveying ‘no mind or soul present’ in a body.

The word ‘Undertaker’ literally means - a person who performs or manages the funeral (business). He conveys as if there’s nothing on earth that intimidates him by walking through suddenly erupting flares and fireballs around his body. His signature statement - “There ain't no grave. Can hold my body down.” perfectly matches with caricature of an immortal person he portrays throughout his entrance. He deeply imprints on our mind.

What tempted me to decode this entrance plot is its each and every element creating fear in mind of audience and his opponent. You may watch his entrance on YouTube @ www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wD7rRrXjGE.

1) Observation is the key

The ways woman provokes her man to be protective

2013-04-01T04:46:00.002+01:00

Interestingly enough, women who seek a long term (romantic) relationship have a large arsenal of nonverbal clues they display towards desired male partner. However, some questions are really puzzling for us. What exactly makes a man go weak in the knees for a woman (for a long time)? What nonverbal and biological signals are given away by women? Why do testosterone fueled guys fall for a woman they strongly like?

Its secret is deeply hidden inside the physical and psychological features of the fairer sex. Courtship signals are a mixture of clues of availability, fertility (vigor), and compatibility. However, another spectrum of nonverbal and biological signal is used by a woman in attempt to turn desired male very gooey and softer towards herself. It might sound funny and equally kiddish but women try to provoke protectiveness in men through a range of both unconscious or deliberate nonverbal clues.

Both men and women are naturally oriented to protect and nurture innocent and helpless children. This gives very pleasant feelings and deep satisfaction; it's actually a stress relieving exercise too. It’s only physical and psychological characteristics of newborns and adolescents that people even fight with odds to protect them. Babies have very soft & nearly hairless skin, fair complexion (as compared to adults), tender vocal tone (with low volume), fewer defensive tactics, uncoordinated body movements, and very energetic & playful disposition. Their defenselessness makes elders to defend them.

As famous biologist Dr. Desmond Morris has mentioned, women retain juvenile features throughout their reproductive age (fecundity). This is not typically found in men because secretion of testosterone multiplies after puberty. Across the board, women have juvenile faces, hair, skin, vocal tone (soft & sweet), expressions, body movements, and affect displays. Women themselves might not realize it consciously but they highlight and accentuate their juvenile physical and psychological features to attract desirable men. After observing a woman giving away such signals, a man unconsciously feels an urge to protect her – the ‘childlike’ lady. On the other hand man, engages himself in complementary displays to portray a tradition hero or even virtual father who tries to protect and save her.

After attracting attention of man and assuring that he's watching her, she tries to act as a playful and curious infant. Giggling, talking in a soft and melodious voice, gesticulating in a playful manner, smiling & palming face, making silly mistakes & movements, jumbling up words, and making enthusiastic & immature facial expressions is enough to illicit protective favors from man. Her coy smile conveys harmless intentions and chin down expresses submission. Blushing of upper body (on cheeks and around neck) conveys innocence, emotional excitement, and an urge of covering like an unprotected child. Have you seen babies with maximize blood circulation in outer layer of skin (epidermis) right after few memont of their birth?

By applying makeup on face, she tries to appear youthful and specifically - baby like. She draws man's attention towards most attractive and appealing features; eyes, cheeks, and lips. By doing hair in such a way that face looks smaller in size, she tries to imitate a child seeking affiliation and protection. By wearing cute - colorful outfits and fidgeting with them quite often, she tries to draw attention of man towards herself. This act is similar to how cute babies gain strong attention from adults around them.

Through all these consciously or deliberately acts and expressions, she seeks assurance that the man she is attracted to is able to protect her or not. After giving away clues of availability and compatibility, these ‘juvenile’ signals are intermixed with fertility clues. Even after she creates a firm affiliation, these kinds of signals are still often given away because she needs favor and protection on constant basis. In today’s modern and economically liberal world, women give away signals that are quite similar to what ancestral women might have done thousand and millions of year ago to gain attention of men. Moreover, these signals are almost universal.

It has also been found that women with greater amount of estrogen and progesterone in their bodies tend to have and display more childlike facial, physical, paralinguistic, and motor (related to movements) features. To complement with same, men having higher levels of testosterone and who are ready to risk themselves, tend to feel more attracted towards 'juvenile' women. The evolutionary purpose behind this kind of attraction is simple - men with greater protective abilities and resourcefulness should take care of 'infantile' women.

In other words, juvenile characteristics and its display is a way to test men for their desire and ability to be protect and favor women. Such qualities in men helps to succeed both in relationship beyond a plain tie-up. Women themselves are also attracted to 'juvenile' looking men and women because of deep urge of nurturing babies. Looking at such faces also makes us feel happy.

1) Courtship and Dance 2) Woman's Courtship (Part 1) 3) Woman's Courtship (Part 2) 4) Man's Courtship 5) Why women apply makeup on face?

Reading Body Language - Challenges

2013-03-27T06:05:00.001Z

I was talking with my friend about developing abilities and skills of reading body language in social situations. During the discussion, he mentioned about his friend who became frustrated after starting to read people around him. Perhaps, he could not tolerate the unexpected clues given away by the people unconsciously. Many of them would be his friends, class mates, colleagues, family members, spouse, and blood relatives.

The clues of negative emotions and (situational) lie can burn enthusiasm and spoil relations because an observer doesn't expect them from familiar persons at first place. Most of us have a lot of information but not the true knowledge so it's really alarming to many who get excited after reading books and website articles about body language.

In this regard, I would like to share a very interesting email that I received from another friend. He is trying hard to become a good social observer. Some text has been deliberately highlighted. For sake of privacy, I've not mentioned his name at the bottom.

Hello Sir,

It is really great to see the work you are doing for the page and community. I am really sorry that I am way too off from the page as if for now. I wanted to tell you that where I am facing problem.

Few months back, when I posted those videos. I was quite enthusiastic about it and I prepared 6 more analysis of Indian Celebrities. I started reading more and more and then I realized that I am too much into it.

The problem as with the practice, I was getting a better understanding of the nonverbal language. But, it wasn't really coming up as a boon. It started entering my personal life too much. I couldn't have a conversation without reading those few leaks of micro expressions on my classmates or friends' faces.

It gets annoying when you come to the point where you cannot just stop picking up these cues. I had quite a number of arguments and fights with people I am close with. I wasn't even able to focus on any lecture in my class as I would be busy staring at my professor for some body language cues.

My class notes had like records of at what time did say a professor ABC did and why. It is one good thing that it was trying to keep me closer to what people actually meant but I was getting closer ALONE.

For the same reason and few more things which happened, I just decided to leave for a while, till I find a good reason or a stable life where I can accept such realities.

Regards,
XXXXXX
Location: Bengaluru (Banglore), India

Negativity induced in mind of a social reader might ultimately turn it down because an unconscious mind becomes defensive very easily and instinctively. Many persons cannot overcome a shock or surprise after interpreting people around them and realizing about themselves too. High degree of impartiality, diligence, and dissociation is required because an observer is also an emotional being. One has to decide what exactly it wants to make out of clues and not get involved into them as much as possible.

Professional skills are really hard to master.

It's really hard but not at all impossible to become an impartial observer and situationally aware person. It takes thousands hours of practice which includes not just reading people but also accepting some of the grave realities and limitations of human nature. After all, we're human beings and need to maintain relations with each other.

On 18th April 2013, my friend and I met in Pune. We had a very personal and serious discussion for almost an hour about issues with social reading and their resolution. Bottom line was that it's really possible to become a good and contextual reader and yet able to maintain healthy social relations. I hope that this small meeting would help him in his life and career. I wish him a great future!

1) Observation is the key

Body rubbing to soothe brain

2013-03-16T07:22:00.000Z

Perhaps, you might know that Mahatma Gandhi - Father of Nation (India) asserted a maxim - "Hear No Evil. See No Evil. Speak No Evil." with the help of a sculpture of three monkeys covering or closing ear, eye, and mouth individually by palms. I think similar kind of maxim or paraphrase related to sensory wisdom might have been asserted by philosophers of your own country or region too.

Just cover and avoid undesirable consequences!

These monkeys are consciously trying to avoid unpleasant input/signals reaching to respective sensory organs. However, in case of covering mouth, it's about suppressing unpleasant words getting out of it that might hurt others and lead to conflict. Three organs play very crucial role not just in communicating with others but also in bridging a vital gap between brain and outside world.

Rat rubbing its lips

That's why zoo keepers or biologists cover the eyes of captured animals while carrying them to zoo, drugging, or tagging. By doing this, they try to suppress hostility or aggressive behavior of animal that could trigger in its brain after watching unpleasant or threatening activities happening around it. Unlike conscious suppression, similar kind of self-soothing is also done by our brain. At some extent, it can be also observed in animals too. We can see a rat rubbing or touching its lips in the face of a danger.

Blocking eyes in fear

Unconscious facial touching or covering to avoid signals (getting inside or outside) can be observed in human at large extent. In early childhood, facial touching is more prominent and can be observed very easily and frequently. As we get older and find obvious facial touching as an immature (childlike) act, we try to refrain it in public. However, our brain starts sending signal to respective body part and we experience tingling or itching sensation beneath the surface of skin of that particular body part.

More we try to suppress the impulse of acting or behaving in ways that are not socially suitable or acceptable, more our brain adds the sensation of tingling or itching to skin of the respective body part. However, it just only just skin of face but other body parts too tingle or itch. If you simultaneously pay attention to your thoughts and sensation of tingling or itching, you would probably be able to decode what exactly you were trying to suppress consciously - let it be scratching or rubbing scalp, back, back of neck, legs, forearms, palms etc.

Only reason behind the tingling or itching sensation is purpose of our brain to force an individual to scratch or rub the body part to act like a 'wise monkey'. Brain itself tries to sooth the distress or uneasy feeling caused by conscious restrain of an impulse in social world. Through self-rubbing or scratching, our brain soothes itself quickly - sort of impulse compensation mechanism evolved by it. Rapid and continuous rubbing of skin in repetition releases stress relieving hormones.

I've also observed that we scratch or rub body part even if we expect or like corresponding sensory input or desire (to act). For example - a waiter can be observed rubbing his palms rapidly in expectation of a good tip from customer or a young woman can be observed rubbing a small patch of skin exactly below her right eye after watching a beautiful man. As we know that left hemisphere controls the right side of body and right hemisphere controls the left side of body, the side of our body we scratch or rub is directly related to the positive or negative polarity of an underling impulse.

I've done a pilot study about this on my own. If somebody's interested in decoding the 'wise monkey' act of brain, an elaborate research can be conducted. With the help of fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) scanning, we could monitor neural activities in different brain parts that leads to the self-rubbing or scratching.

1) Body Language Brain

Asymmetrical Smile but not Contempt

2013-02-23T08:30:00.000Z

Asymmetrical Smile

There are over 40 kinds of smiles, each conveying a different message unconsciously. You might know few of them but sometimes a facial expression or configuration related to a specific emotion or feeling gets intermixed with another thus creating confusion or distortion while interpreting overall nonverbal message being conveyed by the other person. We blindly label an intermixed expression or gesture but never investigate what true message it conveys.

Just like me, before doing a detail analysis, you might have observed an asymmetrical smile on somebody's face and misinterpreted as an expression of Contempt. I've been observing a different kind of smile (or a facial expression) since more than three years in a surrounding social environment, photographs, movies, TV Serials, and commercials.

It caught my attention and I started doing a research about same. It's an asymmetrical smile but its conveys different emotional message if it's we consider the cluster - a stimulus, accompanying facial expressions, para linguistics, and verbal statements made by individuals.

Unlike facial expression of Contempt - lips tightly pressed together and both or either side of them turned slightly upward and pinched deeply inside cheek, this kind of smile adopt different muscular movement or configuration. Lips are separated from each other and Orbicular Oris muscles (that surrounds the lips) are pulled upwards on either side of the face. Eyes are widely spread and eyebrows are raised sometimes.

I call it as a smile of surprise or shock because an individual conveys uncertainty or state of under-confidence about what is being watched, done, said or heard at the given moment. It's something like person would utter or mumble, "Is it really so?". You can clearly watch the difference between facial expressions of the man wearing a blue shirt and the woman appearing in the background.

The man has opened lips asymmetrically in response to an unexpected, shocking or frightening news - information being provided by the person seating in front of him. You can watch an individual doing same, not with exaggerated lip opening exactly like this humorous male character, when it received any clues that are not expected at the given moment.

Still image from a famous comedy TV Serial - Seinfeld

1) Why we smile? 2) Genuine Smile 3) Observation is the key

My interpretation of Victory display

2013-01-05T14:44:00.001Z

As a r ese archer, I ask questions to myself about human behavior, expressions, and displays. Sometimes, we've to look back in our evolutionary history to find secrets behind them. After reaching to concrete conclusion about something, I yell "Gotcha!" and blow fist in air like a victorious person. Though we express our victory or achievement through this gesture unconsciously, I wonder why we do it as first place.

I think victory display has something to do with our long history of hunting and battling. Gone are the days when our ancestors used to fight, hunt or defend themselves with sticks, bows, spears, and even stones. Ancestors might have invented this maneuver so that predator or rival shouldn't risk itself anymore sighting a cluster of reptilian high stand and ready-to-attack posture.

Our ancestors - hunters, gatherers, and fighters

Even if wounded or paralyzed, as a final attempt, rival or predator could attack and injure its target. Target would require more energy to make physical movements in defending itself. Even less energetic or fierce attacks by rival or predator might make a difference between survival and death if target's already wounded or exhausted. Target has to do something to shock and scare rival or predator in more dramatic way.

This so called victory display cluster - an upright body posture, targeted hand movements - positioning - gesturing, fierce facial expressions, an unbearable sound, and jumping in air helps in achieving the same. Target tries to show itself bigger in overall size to scare away the attacker. Hence exuberance generated through this display can benefit to the target.

Hooting chimpanzee

Also, same display can be also liked with primates**. Primates also exercise this kind of victory display even though some of their species can't use or handle tools like us. They have been observed using sticks to beat the ground for threatening away rivals during combative situations. They also throw stone, tree leaves, and wines in their direction. As like human yelling, they round their lips and hoot loudly.

After invention of swords and guns, same maneuver found its way in medieval era. As we see in many war movies, a victorious warrior or a troop raises weapon in front of defeated enemy and yells fiercely. It might serve two purposes i.e. to let other know who's victorious and frighten - run away enemy from battle area. Today, we don't carry weapon in hands (in social situations) but yelling and blowing fists in air remains as an evolutionary heritage.

Bollywood actor Aamir Khan on the set of Hindi TV Serial - Satyamev Jayate

Unconsciously, we adopt this display after victory or advance to demoralize our rival. In absence of weapons, we clinch our fist, rise it, and wave it in air. We also do it in group to prepare ourselves for fight. In that case, we boost our morale by anticipating a victory. Mirroring this victory display induces enthusiasm in group.

(**Special Thanks to Sir Joe Navarro (Ex-FBI Counterintelligence agent and Pioneer in nonverbal communication) for reviewing this article and sharing his own views.)

Related articles:
1) Survival of Communicator 2) Evolution of Nonverbal communication 3) "The expression of emotions in man and animals" 4) Gestures - Are they learned or genetic?

The spy we love

2012-11-23T01:48:00.000Z

Most of us love to read and watch James Bond novels and movies. This character is depicted as master people and more specifically “mind” reader. He can judge people very fast and accurate; especially criminals, offenders, and their enemies (plenty he has).

"You only live twice. Once when you are born and once when you look death in the face." - Ian Fleming

His success highly depends upon reading a targeted person just by its expressions, gaze, gestures, deportment, para lang uag e, and movements; making quick and most accurate judgments in given situation; and acting on plans in no time. He is landed in very hostile places with minimal equipments to face deadliest operations (to save the world). Only lethal weapon he has is his brain. Isn’t it?

James Bond: Celebrating 50th anniversary on screen

If James Bond would have ever existed in reality; every intelligence agency on this planet would have tried to recruit him on highest compensation. Ultimately, our world would have become a peaceful place to leave. Sadly, this is only a dream that novelist or fiction writer shows us. Our world is full of threats and desperation posed by anti-socialists, psychopaths, extremists, and exploiters and we live upon dream and euphoria hoping someday this secret agent or super spy would manifest and save us from perils.

Actually, every independent nation has its defense system supported by a group of intelligence and counter-intelligence officers though we can’t watch them in a party or round the corner as like the spy we love (wearing costly black suit and glasses) walks and introduces himself saying, “My name is Bond…James Bond!”. In fact, secret agents or spies are not the way they are depicted in movies or TV serials.

Master mind readers

No doubt, secret agents and spies have highest accuracy rates in reading people (and their minds) than ordinary people - about 80% globally. It’s only achieved by rigorous training, mental preparation, improving observation power, understanding behavior, hours of practice, and most crucially a hunch that develops or improves over time.

Also, there are many famous TV serials like Lie to Me (Micro expression analyst), The Mentalist (Great observer), Byomkesh Bakshi (Indian version of Sherlock Holmes) and many more having a central character of a crime investigator or detective. Work of these experts is mostly confined to collect samples, analyze photographs, probe video & audio tapes, interrogate & trace suspects, and conduct laboratory tests but secret agents or spies are like a moving (and typical “killing”) machines that sense every signal of suspicion and danger given away by persons (and their silhouettes and shadows too), entities, and situations.

Sherlock Holmes: Sign of superiority on face!

Being an actual secret agent or spy is all about present mindedness, acute vigilance, and situational awareness. Also, agent has to be physical strong, adaptive, agile, and enduring. Perhaps, an ordinary looking person that turns out as a secret agent or spy before our eyes is most fascinating because of typical predatory qualities it has - sophistication, secrecy, courage, accuracy, deceptiveness, unexpectedness, and extreme speed.

The real James Bond(s)

Ian Fleming

Many of us may not know that Ian Fleming, the maker of James Bond character, was a naval intelligence officer serving for United Kingdom during World War 2. He and his team spied for Allied forces to defeat Germans (Nazis). What he wrote in novels about James Bond, was based on his own life and of those individuals who inspired him. Otherwise, he could not have brought that much realistic effects in his scripts.

He worked with and closely observed many agents putting their lives at risk almost exactly like his super spy character does to change the course of world’s history and politics. Few of his team members were working as double-agents, spying for both Allied forces and Germans. They succeeded in distracting and deceiving Germans (Nazis) by providing false intelligence updates.

(Courtesy: The million year old super spy hidden right inside us - unconscious mind.)

1) By just looking at hands and eyes 2) Inside Interrogation Room 3) Observation is the key 4) Women are body language experts 5) The guy who saved his career

Botox hampers emotional awareness

2012-11-01T17:34:00.000Z

Botox (Botulinum toxin) is new magical substance in shelves of today’s cosmetic therapists and beauticians who cater their metropolitan clients. Given “ever-youthful face” mania of modern metropolitan society and corporate work culture, this medicine helps in vanishing facial wrinkles cause by natural aging process or some abnormalities. Like its apparent advantages in an impression driven environment, the beneficiary(?) has to weigh a great setback in social life. As Botox is administered in small patches of skin to make it look young, it ultimately hampers one’s ability to read emotions in others.

Regaining youth or losing emotional ability?

Actually, we all give and get facial feedback unconsciously. It’s not necessary that facial expressions are always noticeable because many a times we try to keep face expressionless. However, unnoticeable muscular activities do occur that can be detected by seasoned eyes or computer software with sophisticated imaging devices. Remarkable purpose of muscular movements is emotional awareness. Brain understands emotions in other by simulating corresponding muscular movement on faces of an observer. Movements might be too tiny to remain unnoticeable by third person.

In future, machines could read human emotions. What about us?

Botox dampens brains signals reaching to facial muscles so that skin looks reflated and swollen. Muscular movements are inhibited. Though it gives a person so-called youthful look, lack of muscular movements disables emotional expressions and also their awareness. Person can find itself as emotionless - a person who has been forced to stay poker faced for a long time. A research done by Dr. David Neal (a professor of psychology at the University of Southern California) underlines side effects of Botox on emotional awareness stating clearly, “If muscular signals from the face to the brain are dampened, you’re less able to read emotions.”

Intentional Poker Face

Poker Face: Magnificently Dull

Even though many of us don’t get Botox injected, we don’t capitalize facial muscles at fullest. Staying poker for long time is also likely to hamper our ability to read emotions in others. Particularly in a metropolitan environment where large population is forced to use and share limited physical space, we incline to keep our faces almost emotionless while commuting and invading - sharing physical space.

It helps us to isolate ourselves from strangers on social grounds but it might hamper our emotional awareness too. Issue gets multiplied by working conditions where casually interacting with others is almost impossible or not requited. Not expressing emotions on face could lead us to emotional devastation.

1) Face to Face 2) Facial Feedback: World smiles with you! 3) Common Facial Expressions 4) Basic Emotional Expressions 5) Social Footsteps 6) Emotional Intelligence and Success

Facial Feedback: World smiles with you!

2012-10-26T03:28:00.001+01:00

It's very well said that world smiles with you. We all experience that smiling (irrespective of a genuine or fake smile) faces are more liked that neutral, sad ,or angry faces because smiling makes us feel better. Smiling secretes a hormone called as Endorphin inside brain that generates happy feelings and also reduces level of stress hormone Cortisol and Epinephrine (Adrenaline gland secretion). Hence smiling at each other generates a positive feedback loop.

Smile enhances your face value.

According to Sir Charles Darwin and Dr. William James’s Facial Feedback theory, we can generate same emotional effect through volunteer movements of facial muscles. As like unconsciously or involuntarily expressions induce feedback in minds of other people, volunteer facial expressions and gestures too can achieve same at a certain degree. Once you generate facial expressions on your face consciously; others are likely to respond in similar ways.

Japanese are trained to smile like westerns.

This theory applies for smiling too and we widely witness it. More you smile at people in appropriate situations; more often you would get similar feedback from them. If you cannot portray a genuine smile, start smiling politely (in other words - fake smiling). Feedback from others in form of smiles, easiness, interest, or comfort displays would lead to positive feelings in your mind. Falling into a loop of initiation and feedback, your mental state starts to change. Sooner or later, you would start to portray a genuine smile unconsciously.

It’s an innate survival mechanism we all have that allows us to connect with each at deeper psychological levels and feel our existence (more meaningful) by seeking feedback from others. We can find trails of feedback principle in many practical and conceptual factors in daily life.

Facial feedback to smile is natural and widely used in commercials. It's not surprise that we find faces in various entities around us or also draw faces on own.

1) Why we copy each other's body language? 2) Secret behind imitation 3) Face to Face 4) Social Footsteps 5) Botox hampers emotional awareness

Learning micro expressions is really useful?

2012-10-13T14:38:00.001+01:00

For years, we have been hearing about the importance of micro expressions when it comes to recognizing emotions accurately. Ever since the 70's, Paul Ekman began his groundbreaking research in this area; there has been an intense debate about training and developing an ability to recognize micro expressions. Following several articles published in media emphasizing of micro expression training, there are many other that raised contradictions. Therefore, we now present a very interesting article.

The research was conducted by two professors of social psychology namely Dr. David Matsumoto and Dr. Hwang Sung at the State University of San Francisco, United States of America. Another interesting factor was that the investigation by the university was funded through a grant from the Army Research Institute and the Office of Scientific Research of Air Force. This work is notable because it presents scientific evidence of the effectiveness of training to improve the ability of emotional recognition through micro expressions.

In a first study, several people belonging to sales profession participated in a conference in which they were given basic knowledge on emotional recognition. These people were divided in two groups. One of them received an additional training session 60 minutes by a trainer experienced. This group was compared with the other one that received no additional training. The results showed an ability to recognize micro expressions significantly higher in the group of additional training in comparison with the other group.

This finding was particularly notable for two reasons:

1) Both groups were equivalent in their knowledge of emotions because both received basic information on emotional recognition. However, one group received additional training workshop and other did not.

2) The impact of the training program not only demonstrated in emotion recognition tasks but also produced significant social and communication according to an assessment by third participants two weeks after the program.

The results of the "Study 1" were further reinforced by the results of the "Study 2" that demonstrated the effectiveness of the training program after a period of time after training.

In Study 2, participating lawyers and psychologists split into created two groups. First group received training in recognition of micro expressions and another did not. Three weeks later, a test was conducted for trained group and untrained group for comparison. The trained group was significantly better in emotional recognition than the other. Moreover, they responded to emotions faster i.e. response time (latency).

These findings are important because they show that people can be trained in recognizing micro expressions and also same capacity can be retained over time.

The authors says in their conclusion that that the scientific evidence presented in these studies provided the evidence necessary for those interested in understanding the emotions of their partners. If you interact daily with other people and want to understand them better, training in recognizing micro expressions is a very interesting option to consider.

Undoubtedly, this research was of important in international scientific scene.

[This article is translation of original article "Entrenamiento para reconocer emociones a través de las microexpresiones, ¿ayuda o pérdida de tiempo?" written in Spanish (Español) by my friend, associate, and nonverbal communication researcher - Prof. Dr. Rafael López Pérez from Universidad Camilo José Cela, Madrid (Spain).]

1) Basic Emotional Expressions 2) Reading Body Language - Micro Expressions

Gestures - Are they learned or genetic?

2012-09-19T14:51:00.001+01:00

Along with Dr. Paul Ekman's benchmarking work that proved the universality of facial expressions of basic emotions, prevailing behavioral researches in world of psychology are attributed to human nonverbal communication. The strength of the contributions made by of Dr. Ekman left no room for doubt and today no one questions that basic emotions have a universal facial expression pattern that is contained in our genetic makeup.

But what about the gestures we make by hands or head? Are they learned or genetically inherited? Let's find out what a research says.

My approach in this article is taking you attention to a research conducted by scientists at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig (Germany) that has recently been published by BBC Science.

Group of wild bonobos - Closest primate cousins to humans

According to scientists and as they managed to film on many occasions, several members of primate species called as Bonbons shook their heads from side to side to prevent others to do something they didn’t want. In one of the recordings, a mother shook her head to stop her baby playing with food.

Researchers say that this could be a precursor to the behavior of shaking head used by humans observed in one of our closest primate relatives. Chimpanzees seem to shake their heads to avoid behaviors that do not satisfy.

"Our observations are the first to report the use of negative movement of head in bonobos," says Christel Schneider, who led the study. According to his research, the recorded videos in Leipzig Zoo, a chimp mother shook her head in disapproval of playing with food by her baby.

"Ulindi is trying to prevent her daughter, Luiza, keep playing with a piece of leek", explains the researcher. "As Luiza ignored, despite repeated attempts to stop her, Ulindi finally shook his head at the young," he adds.

"No" from Bonbons

It is known that African great apes such as Bonobos (Pan paniscus) and Chimpanzees (Pan troglodytes), nodding used as negative (tilt or shake) to communicate with other members.

It was already known that bonobos use head shaking to initiate interactions with other members of their group and start playing. However, this is the first study that shows in films that an ape shaking his head in a negative context, to avoid or prevent other bonobo’s behavior.

Scientists based in Germany observed this behavior when the animals were being analyzed as part of a larger study about communication of offspring of the great apes.

With video cameras recorded the gestures and behavior of bonobos, chimpanzees, gorillas and orangutans in six European zoos. During the investigation, they found four bonobos shaking their heads in this way on 13 different occasions. Previously there were only anecdotal reports of chimpanzees shaking his head to indicate "no."

Socially Sophisticated

Scientists believe that the negative head movement is a precursor of the same behavior in humans. Scientists explain that bonobos use a wider range of head gestures than chimpanzees and are considered to be more sophisticated to use their head to indicate any meaning.

The authors say that these sophisticated systems of communication might have arisen because of apparently sophisticated society, tolerant, cooperative and democratic living in these animals where complex social structures and hierarchies diffuse. So perhaps bonbons developed the head nod to say "no" and negotiate conflict situations.

However, researchers are cautious and say they cannot be sure that the animals really want to deny when they shake their heads in this way. But so far this is still the best explanation, they say.

And as he told the BBC Schneider, we must clarify that the head movement is not always associated with something negative. In many countries moving head side to side is symbol of approval too.

[This article is translation of original article "Gestos, ¿aprendidos o genéticos?" written in Spanish (Español) by my friend, associate, and nonverbal communication researcher - Prof. Dr. Rafael López Pérez from Universidad Camilo José Cela, Madrid (Spain).]

1) Basic Emotional Expressions 2) "The expression of emotions in man and animals" 3) Body Language Brain 4) My interpretation of Victory display

What is Nonverbal Communication?

2012-09-09T15:58:00.001+01:00

Term “Nonverbal” itself means “without or in absence of spoken or written words”. Everything we observe, experience, and eventually respond to is almost nonverbal. Nonverbal Communication is very vast domain of understanding and interpreting behavior, status, and expressions of different entities and also conveying message or responding to them. Moreover, entities can be people, creatures, and also natural or artificial objects. Let's consider nonverbal communication for social domain.

Most of us confuse body language with nonverbal communication. In fact, body language and nonverbal communication are entirely different scientific terminologies but they also correspond with each other. Perhaps, most of us might have an ability to read body language but not fully interpret it through other vital factors in communication.

Body Language (physical expressions, movement, and adjustment) is field of social psychology whereas Nonverbal Communication include Vocal (Para Linguistics), Peripheral, and Contextual factors according to which human behavior can be preciously analyzed. Kinesics is new scientific term that corresponds to body language in practical situations or day to day world.

Nonverbal communication includes factors as following:
A) Kinesics or Physical: Postures (Static and Dynamic), Body movements, Gestures (Emblems, Illustrators, Regulators, and Affect Display), Oculesics (Eye contact, gaze and glancing), Pupilometry (Psychological interpretation by pupil size), Facial expressions (Macro, Micro, and Subtle), Haptics (Touch), and Proxemics (Science of Interpersonal/Social Distance)
B) Vocal (Para Linguistics): Tone, Pitch, Rhythm, and Silence
C) Peripheral: Objects, Costume, Chromatics (Color), Olfactics (Smell), and Chemical signals
D) Contextual: Physical environment, Social situation, Culture norms, Genetic inheritance, Geography, and Chronemics (Time)

Without considering context, clustering, and congruence (integrity among different nonverbal factors), both understanding and conveying message can lead us nowhere. That’s why most of us cannot fully utilize power of nonverbal communication and transform our life for good.

I hope that next time you or anybody else mentions about body language and nonverbal communication, we would definitely understand the difference and relationship between these two catchwords. Now, you have knowledge and power to explore and understand the “Nonverbal World” around yourself. Best wishes!

1) Body Language Brain 2) Unlimited potentials 3) Evolution of Nonverbal communication 4) "The expression of emotions in man and animals" 5) "Nonverbal" is alien way of communication?

Indian Classical Dances

2012-08-15T16:35:00.000+01:00

Indian Classical Dance forms are really great to not just to watch sitting in auditorium and applause but to observe and understand very influence of nonverbal communication in our life. Most people might attribute these dance forms to antiquity and culture - tradition of certain geographical area or civilization but these dance forms portray broad spectrum of emotions and feelings an individual from any part of this earth has at unconscious level.

Karanas (Transitional movements or postural alternations), Hastas (Hand Gestures), Adavus (Series of steps or expressions), and Bhedas (Eye contact, different gazes, Neck - Head movements) are basic elements of all Indian Classical Dance forms described in Natya Shashtra - an ancient Indian treatise on the performing arts (Theatre, Dance, and Music).

Dancers often enact as mythological story tellers or actual characters of story on stage but they can convey message of different subjects from real life. They can portray virtually any tangible or intangible entity and concept. They utilize facial (micro) expressions, postures, gestures, emblems, proxemics, and movements to enact them very lively and dramatically. Many western performing artists have invented hybrid dance forms inspired from Indian Classical Dance forms.

Dr. Paul Ekman found universality of facial expressions subjected to seven basic emotions in 20th century. But Indian classical dancer have been portraying Nav-Rasas (Nine distinct psychological states or emotions) since more than thousand years. The nine different emotions included in Nav-Rasas are Shringara (Love, Affection or Amour), Hasya (Laughter), Karuna (Kind-heartedness or Compassion), Raudra (Anger), Veera (Courage), Bhayanaka (Terror), Bheebhatsya (Disgust), Adbutha (Surprise), and Shantha (Peace or tranquility).

With charismatic costume, jeweleries, accessories, body decoration, make-up, and music; each dance form is unique yet strongly connected with each other through shared aspects like exuberance, sophistication, and dedication. Not just Indian or people belonging to oriental cultures but also many notable artists and scholars across the globe are inspired from classical dances of India.

Following are the Indian Classical Dance forms:

Kathak - Classical dance from Northern India inheriting few aspects from Persian (Iranian) and Central Asian dance forms
Bharatanatyam - Classical dance from Tamil Nadu
Kathakali - Classical dance from Kerala
Kuchipudi - Classical dance from Andhra Pradesh
Manipuri - Classical dance from Manipur
Mohiniaattam - Classical dance from Kerala
Odissi - Classical dance from Orissa
Sattriya - Classical dance from Assam

Watch this YouTube video briefly demonstrating the power of Mudras (Expressions and Gestures) to portray different elements in dance.

1) Basic Emotional Expressions 2) Courtship and Dance 3) Genius of acting

My posture discovery

2012-07-22T07:49:00.000+01:00

Posture is most noticeable and loud aspect of body language. Everybody of us adopts and drops different postures almost unconsciously. It’s happens 24 hours of a day and throughout our life. Posture is nothing but an adjustment we make with physical, emotional or social situations at any given moment. We may not express emotions on face, speak, look, or make gestures but we always adopt different postures. It’s a core mechanism of human body. Culture, heredity, age, habits and working conditions - demands have their own impact on postures we adopt.

Many of us might be unconsciously or consciously copy posture of their parents, grand parents or persons they follow. Posture speaks to eyes so clearly that we even can judge person’s profession just by looking at normal posture it adopts while working. Look at a vigilant police officer or security guard on duty. He or she must be standing upright, bluffed chest, widened shoulders, looking straight, and both hands entangled at back or rested on hips.

A particular posture or manner of moving or positioning body into physical space creates (first) impression and establish an identity of an individual overtime. Watch politicians, leaders, film stars, celebrities, sportsmen, performers and media personalities.

Locked legs

My very interest in different postures draw attention towards a posture that is not documented anywhere or interpreted I think. I call it as “Locked legs” posture because detail and long term observation has same title for it. Many photographs, paintings, and commercials also back my own conclusion of this posture.

While attending meetings, seminars, or queues; many persons sit in very uncomfortable posture. They put on leg on another, extend both hands forward, and tightly clasping them on knee. Sometimes, clasped leg is slightly lifted upward. Even lonely individual can be observed doing same. This posture really elevated my curiosity because stretched or tight muscles cannot be a relaxed state. I decided to observe people adopting same posture; including myself.

Even we stay at one place surround by environment or people; we unconsciously justify interest or level of comfort about what we are interacting with. If we feel something interesting and attention worthy, we become more relaxed and receptive towards same. If we feel boredom, disinterest, or discomfort; either we try to get away or keep our senses shut and remain distracted. Many times, we have to manage ourselves at same place without our will e. g. waiting in a long queue inside clinic, being watched by many, listening or watching in social setup, and discussing something we want to conclude immediately.

Stretching both hands straight and clasping them on a knee is an unconscious effort to maintain ourselves at same place. We clasp our knees in attempt to sooth body's natural temptation of walking away to avoid boredom, disinterest, or discomfort. Many people can be observed doing same along with swinging upper body (torso) or unclasped leg. Some people especially children or youngsters tap their legs continuously but it's irritating in social situations. Clasping knees is more mature and civilized way of looking fairly present.

1) Reading Body Language - Common Postures 2) Observation is the key

Why women apply makeup on face?

2012-06-15T00:00:00.000+01:00

Around 4000 years ago in Egypt, pyramid workers went on strike for a reason that might sound unbelievable for most of modern population. Those workers went on strike because they were running out of makeup. Yeah! Only a thin layer of cream prepared from herbs, fruit extracts and fat protected their skin under harsh temperature and intense sun rays in desert. In fact, today's skin conditioners, anti-aging creams, and sun blocks have almost same ingredients. Thanks to ancient Egyptians to invent makeup!

Unlike them, we are able cover our skin and body parts as a protection from sun rays, cold weather, rain, and snow fall due to invention and expansion in textile industry. But when it comes to pick right makeup products, modern woman spend a lot of money and time. Like any other husband in this world, it’s quite irritating to me to wait for hours and keep reminding about departure to my wife who is busy applying makeup, sitting in front of mirror with bunch of bottles, tubes, and containers. If you ask to your wife, she may probably may not answer that she applies makeup.

Why women apply makeup on face? For them it’s not to protect their skin most of time but something what men unconsciously like them to look. Sounds strange at first place? Let’s why we all love little children for.

Large eyes, very thin and almost invisible eyebrows, thick eyes lashes, silky soft - curly hairs, spotless and evenly toned skin, smooth and full lips, and puffy cheeks that turns red after getting emotionally aroused (blushing). Isn’t it cute? These facial features are survival gift of nature to babies and we all tempt to protect and pamper them because of same. Cuteness of childhood play almost same role in youth for women.

If we closely examine single or group of makeup products, they help to a woman to mimic baby face. Products like foundation, moisturizer, and face powder offers spotless, soft and tight skin and also hide uneven counters, pigmentation, wrinkles, dullness, and dark spots. They turns most of facial skin into a canvas by which attention of an observer can be drawn to most attractive and appealing features of face – eyes, cheeks, and lips. They play very dramatic and nerve sparking role during courtship and romance. Bridal makeup can transform ordinarily looking girl into a queen who woos his groom.

Eye Liner, Kajal (Indian eye liner), and Surma (Middle-Eastern eye liner) draws outlines of eyes to make them look very large and attractive. Plucker and Eyebrow Pencil shapes eye brows to look very thin, curvy, and dark. Concealer hides wrinkles and dark circles under eyes. Eye Shadower paints area between eye lids and eye eyebrows to look darker to convey state of submission and tranquility during romance (Reference: Paul Ekman). Mascara makes eye lashes more thick, long, and curly.

Blusher paints cheeks as if they convey the state of arousal and excitement. Flushed cheeks also convey innocence and shyness during courtship (Reference: Paul Ekman). Lip Liner, Lip Stick, and Lip Gloss makes lips more attractive and appealing and also to look big if they are naturally thin and vice a verse. Flushed lips convey vitality of a woman (Reference: David Buss).

Faces before and after makeup...dramatic effect!

What we see is what we likely to believe by most hence makeup does the same. If somebody looks at a woman at first time and from an observable distance, facial makeup compels the person to assume it as her natural look. Applying makeup is all about of creating artificial effect of attractiveness, youth, and vitality. Moreover, contrasting colors and shades brings very dramatic effect and thus makes face to look more appealing to an observer.

(This article doesn’t advocate makeup and publicize makeup products at all. Reader’s discretion is kindly solicited before arriving to any conclusion.)

1) Primary Attraction 2) Body Image and social communication 4) Woman's Courtship (Part 1) 4) Woman's Courtship (Part 2) 5) Courtship and Dance 6) The ways woman provokes her man to be protective

Fear Factor

2012-05-31T16:29:00.000+01:00

Fear is the fundamental and most ancient element that has driven all creatures on the defensive edge for survival through different psychological and social adaptations. Perhaps, the way all living creatures look and behave today might be an ultimate result of long evolutionary history of battle with predators, parasites and environmental challenges.

Wide open eyes let more visual clues pass to brain

Even though we are not living in jungles surrounded by wild beasts, insects, worm, serpents and adverse climate; fear still influences and also helps us to survive in modern civilization. In fact, fear prevails in many forms and dimensions in personal - social lives, concepts and ideologies. In fact, fear has given us strength to achieve and surpass beyond imagination that other creatures haven’t.

Long before we evolved in present form, fear helped our ancestors prepare themselves for fleeing or freezing under threat. Just Imagine if our hunting ancestors wouldn’t have run away from tiger attacking them in woods, they could not have returned to feed and protect their family ultimately. Thus fear serves the supreme purpose of survival in adverse conditions. How brain triggers physiological changes under alarming situations is interesting for us to understand.

Facial expressions intensify with increasing risk

We react to fearful situation almost unconsciously only because of pre-programmed reflex that dates back to millions of years. Limbic System always monitors external parameters influencing survival and triggers fight, flight or freeze responses. It's the major part of our brain having some of very ancient circuits developed by our first ancestors living in oceans millions of years ago. Later, reptilian ancestors brought more sophistication in it.

Most recently developed analytical, planning, and reasoning circuitry called as Neocortex (modern brain) that rests on top of limbic system cannot fully interfere with fight, flight or freeze responses in critical situations and same thing serves a great purpose. If our ancestors would have spent more time watching, scaling and evaluating; predators would have wounded, amputated or killed them in a blink of an eye.

Obtained visual clues follow two routes to their destination triggering actual response; one is from eyes to Amygdale (center of emotional responses) through Thalamus (center of reasoning, learning and language abilities) and Visual Cortex (center of visual information processing) and another from eyes to amygdale directly. In extreme dangerous situations, brain transfers signals from eyes to amygdale abandoning the process of understanding and analyzing situation.

Shortcut for Survival - Threat signals from Eyes to Amygdale

If brain would spend extra time (few more millionth fractions of a second) to activate appropriate responses, predator would have exploited every opportunity to strike. Moreover, visual memories of deadliest encounters over from millions of years stored in Hippocampus (center of emotional memory) govern quickest reactions even in seemingly lower risk situations today.

Let’s find how what exactly happens in the human body under fearful situation. Parasympathetic Nervous System (one division of Autonomous Nervous System) starts sending signals to different organs through spinal cord. Adrenaline gland starts secreting hormone called as Epinephrine that prepares body to run away. First, it activates large muscles of our body and their supportive system. Heart beat goes up to supply more blood to various body parts responsible to run away and lungs engage at higher respiration rate for same. Blood flow is re-directed from non-essential to crucial parts of body like legs, stomach and abdominal area that’s why face appears faint (blood less).

Whole body dramatically shifts itself from calm, relax, and confident mode to fugitive mode. Shoulders fall down and come closer whereas stomach gets pulled inside. Neck muscles get stiffer and chin drops to avoid damage to more sensitive parts connecting head to torso. Whole body starts sweating due to increase blood flow and excessive heat. Muscles starts trembling due to locking at one location because they are initially prepared to run away with great energy generate by cells followed by adrenaline rush. Body bends down, clasps itself or takes shed of something. Feet are not firmly grounded and appear to mobilize body away from danger zone or attacker.

Face also synchronizes itself with body to collect maximum visual and auditory information to prepare to run away. Eyebrows tensely get curled downward and come closer at nasal bridge. Gaze becomes more focused and eyes are wide opened to let more visual clues pass to brain. Mouth is wide opened to let more air pass to lungs. Throat gets dry and saliva’s swallowed frequently to moisten it. Voice trembles and person can hardy speak with usual fluency. Sometimes person tries to calm self by blocking eyes and ears by hand. Same technique is used by zoo keepers to calm down animals after catching them. Eyes of animal are muffled by cloth to lower the level of anxiety pertaining continuous visual clues being sent to brain.

Comparing to evolutionary history of millions of years, human face evolved quite recently. Due to ability of speech articulation, it’s has unique musculature compared to our primate cousins. Facial expressions in lower part (below nose) have evolved to communicate vulnerability to an entire group - to let others know about risk and seek help from them too. Otherwise, there’s no any obvious purpose of mobilizing lower facial structure to express fear.

Scream expels when person is under extreme threat so that if anybody is close to the person would take notice of it and rush for an immediate rescue. Another purpose screaming would be to drive away the attacker or predator by shattering its ear drums with high pitch noise. Sometime hands come close to mouth for muffling or suppressing scream in social situations.

1) Evolution of Nonverbal communication 2) "The expression of emotions in man and animals" 3) Survival of communicator 4) Basic Emotional Expressions 5) Body Language Brain 6) Inside Interrogation Room

What we seek in partner?

2012-04-12T06:07:00.000+01:00

Today’s world is technologically advanced, materially sophisticated and financially liberated. We all are witnessing alterations and changes at personal - social level and also in relationships we feel intimate and essential for lifetime.

Classical roles and responsibilities are being blended or even interchanged between two genders but traditionalism still appeals to modern generation when it comes to finding long term partner. Latest survey of 10,000 candidates says so.

Even though men and women share some common traits and qualities, still some dissimilar and distinct aspects complement both of them. Both genders are drawn towards each other on how they express their innate qualities, strengths and virtues apart of plain physical appearance.

Some of us might have heard that even highly paid women in world prefer male partners with income and economical status higher than themselves. It's clear that women sick security and commitment in relationship for obvious reasons. They look for men who can protect them and who are intelligent, confident, enduring, achiever, courageous, kind, and socially recognized. Just imagine ancient hunter-gatherer who brings food for her woman by braving his life in jungles and valleys, who fights for her in danger and dignifies her in the tribal group. Women want real warrior - performer that every man wants (and flaunts) to be.

On the opposite side, men prefer women who have qualities like tenderness, care taking, nurturing, preserving, patience, socializing, co-operating, communicating, and cheerful that directly complements with their qualities. They look for women with more feminine (more specifically childlike) features that hidden father inside him wants to take care of and cherish. Though today's women perform most task with confidence and independence, they unconsciously want somebody take care of them. Baby face effect rules on most of women's population. Lighthearted, playful, smiling - giggling, shy, and supportive woman is the dream of many men.

All these complementary gender specific qualities and traits points to sole purpose - to form bond and family ultimately. Basically, both genders have psycho-biologically evolved for same. Almost unconsciously, they flirt - court with each other by giving away the qualities that other gender is naturally drawn to.

It has been also found that women with more amount of estrogen and progesterone in their bodies tend to display more infantile physical, para linguistic, motor (related to movements), and psychological features. In its contrast, men with higher level of testosterone secreting inside their bodies and prone to take physical risks, tend to get attracted to more towards women who look and act like a juvenile.

Evolutionary purpose behind this kind of attraction is simple - men with more protective abilities and resourcefulness should be able to protect women who are more like an infant. Success of both genders principally lies in passing (healthy) genes to next generation and help each other to achieve the same. However, creating a better society is far greater goal in front of both genders.

1) Primary Attraction 2) Courtship and Dance 3) Man's Courtship 4) Woman's Courtship (Part 1) 5) Woman's Courtship (Part 2) 6) Secondary Attraction

By just looking at hands and eyes

2012-03-31T18:47:00.000+01:00

Recently, i got an opportunity to watch program "One Man Army" on Discovery Channel. Four men from different divisions of security forces participate in a competition. There are three different rounds; first two are elimination rounds. In final round, only two participants compete for $10,000 prize and the title.

There were four participants representing their different divisions. Some of them were retired personals. Rigorous and very special training make them the specialists that any nation and its civilians could rely on for security. The participant who won the competition was from one of the most elite security troops on the earth.

He shared very crucial clue they look for any offensive move in super-critical operational conditions. By just looking at hands and eyes, they have to determine whether the person is attacker or an innocent within fraction of seconds. If any person carrying a weapon and ready to attack, its gaze and hands always work together. Entire body needs to orient itself towards the target. Eyes scales distance and movement whereas hands are kept ready to shoot. Also, tiniest movement can differentiate between intention of attack or retreat. Every moment is crucial for survival.

Ability to read and act on clues is the crux.

Without indiscriminate firing or sharpshooting from a safe distance, specials troops are responsible in rescuing civilians or hostages with minimum causalities. They have to keep close watch on nonverbal clues from possible attackers. Co-ordination and communication among team members also takes place very silently through symbolic hand and facial gestures in parameter area. More they could remain covert, lesser opportunities attackers get to harm them. Element of surprise is heart of guerrilla warfare.

Carrying sophisticated weaponry and state of art communication equipments doesn't give the cutting edge required to win a battle. Close combats throws any soldier on edge of survivability by snap judgements and actions. Success of every special operation depends upon intelligence and vigilance only.

Minimum causalities and maximum surrenders

1) Observation is the key 2) Emotions are manipulated 3) Observation is the key

Inside Interrogation Room

2012-02-26T04:09:00.001Z

No windows to look through or scream, almost no sound or movements around, a chair to seat without hand-rest, a light bulb pending just above head and rest of the floor immersed in darkness...really a nerve breaking environment!

Interrogation Chair ("Hot Seat")

Interrogation rooms are design this was only to discourage suspects and criminals and bring them to confess crime they (might have) committed. This is kind of environment anybody could hardly manage to stay for long time by own will.

Complete isolation from rest of the world coupled with lurking eyes from darkness induces enormous terror inside human mind just like what a prey would feel during few moments before getting hunted by fierce and merciless predator in dark and thick forest.

Suspects and criminals are bound to seat and move on very limited physical area (typically a chair kept in the middle of room) but interrogators can freely move back, forth, and around them. In fact, they intrude personal comfort zone (intimate and personal zones in Proxemics) and try to break down psychological defense and normal tactics of person under scrutiny.

Under immense fear, criminals and suspects easily leak out unconscious distress body signs that exert eyes can easily catch and drill deeper into mind of persons being interrogated for direct or indirect connection with crime.

1) Observation is the key 2) Reading Body Language - Proxemics 3) Fear Factor 4) The spy we love

Secondary Attraction

2012-02-18T20:21:00.001Z

You are a single person and desperately looking for a partner. You come across many members of opposite gender, get attracted to them by instinct but you don't find something special in most of them to take relation to next steps. Why we don't feel "really going mad" about everybody we get initially attracted to?

Scientists agree that what truly bonds two members of opposite genders is very complex to describe apart of natural and plain physical attraction. They call it as secondary attraction.

"You really have something special that makes me to stay longer in relationship."

Indeed, it's not just look or appearance required to stay in (long term) romantic or committed relationship. There's something beyond physical qualities we look into our potential partner(s). How the other person looks necessary should not match with its true nature.

During initial interactions, we unconsciously monitor behavior and reactions of other person in different situations and circumstances. In fact, we give each other various opportunities for same. More we interact, better we understand each other (apart of attraction). It's like initiating a dance step and waiting for a person on an opposite side to make move accordingly.

We always convey personal traits, attitude, approach, qualities, strengths, and weaknesses and ultimately mutual compatibility through body language (nonverbally) only that's why attraction based upon character lasts longer and healthier.

1) Like attracts like 2) Courtship and Dance 3) Why we copy each other's body language? 4) Smell of love 5) Primary Attraction 6) What we seek in partner?

Reading Body Language - Common Hand Gestures

2012-01-31T01:45:00.002Z

Walking on two feet and thus having free hands gives us an unique ability to make different gestures that are very advantageous during interactions. Across the globe, only manipulative, pointing, declarative and territorial gestures are quite common.

Symbolic and Emblematic gestures vary from one culture to another. Also, meaning of same gesture might have entirely different meaning between two cultures.

Directing ("This way."), Pointing ("It's the thing.") or Blaming ("You are a culprit.")

Skyward/Upward, Ruler's Finger or "One God"

Allowing ("Come here.", "Let it approach.")

Stopping ("It's enough.", "Don't come.")

Blessing or Suppressing

Submission or "Give me."

Powerful, Strong or Winner

Questioning or Demanding

Offering or Picking

Clarification ("Believe me.", "Nothing to hind.")

Helping Hand or Making Clear

No Arms In Hand or Hand Wave ("I'm here.")

Symbolic Pistol or Sign of Shooting

Symbolic Punch ("Beat you") or Power Fist

1) Words and gestures are alike 2) Body Language Brain 3) Reading Body Language - Clusters 4) Reading Body Language - Congruence 5) Reading Body Language - Proxemics 6) Reading Body Language - Context 7) Reading Body Language - Micro Expressions 8) Reading Body Language - Para Language 9) Body Language - Common Facial Expressions 10) Reading Body Language - Common Postures

Reading Body Language - Common Facial Expressions

2012-01-29T16:35:00.000Z

Human face is unique among all animals that can express various emotions and feelings. Surprisingly, we all express them quite similar way across the globe.

Following are some common expressions (including basic emotional expressions):

Enjoyment

Fear

Focused

Anger

Contempt/Disrespect

Disgust/Dislike

Happiness/Enjoyment

Nervousness

Calmness/Serenity

Sadness

Disappointed/Contempt

Worry

Jealousy

Hurt

Surprise

Weepy

1) Basic emotional expressions 2) Body Language Brain 3) Reading Body Language - Clusters 4) Reading Body Language - Congruence 5) Reading Body Language - Proxemics 6) Reading Body Language - Context 7) Reading Body Language - Micro Expressions 8) Reading Body Language - Para Language 9) Reading Body Language - Common Postures 10) Reading Body Language - Common Hand Gestures 11) Botox hampers emotional awareness

Reading Body Language - Common Postures

2012-01-22T06:08:00.000Z

Posture has great significance while reading body language. Postulating (adopting a posture) is very general approach of adjusting – relating with and defending from various physical environments, social situations, objects, and persons.

Adopting a posture is what it has been hard coded in our subconscious minds since millions of year as primary defense and adaptive mechanism. Unlike facial expressions or voice, posture can be observed or sensed from long distance thus it has great power to convey message to many.

Following are some postures that are very commonly observed:

Alert/Attentive - This posture is automatically adopted when we are looking or listening with elevated interest or surprise.

May I go? - After discovering no reason to seat anymore, we put hands on knees or thighs to prepare ourselves to stand and walk away.

Hidden aggression - Unlike authoritative stance, we grip upper arm on back to control ourselves from punishing somebody.

Waiting for relief - This posture can be seen adopted by person who wants to get out of troublesome or disturbing situation. Person may not want to seat at same place any longer.

Defensive/Suppressive - Arms are crossed over chest to defend, suppress emotions or keep away something or somebody. This posture is also adopted while waiting also. In cold climate, crossing arms over chest is done to retain body heat that leaks from armpits and palms.

Exhausted/Discouraged - While lacking energy and courage, we cannot stand perfectly upright and eventually arch in back. This posture is also adopted under threat or while feeling vulnerable.

Nervous/Stressed - Opposite to aggressive stance, putting hands in pockets or tightly clasping them alongside torso is sign of insecurity, anxiety or nervousness.

Self-control - For keeping self in check, we clench fingers with each other near abdominal area. We try to manage ourselves in the situation with reasonable patience.

Waiting - When we eagerly wait for something to finish, we rest palm rests on hips. We may not be actively involved with particular a person or situation.

Authoritative - To exert authority, we clench palms behind our back. By doing this, chest is pushed forward as a sign of warning against any misconduct. Invisible palms pose threat by possibility of holding any weapon for attack. Many security personals, officers or higher authorities adopt this posture.

Can’t seat longer - Under disinterest or impatience, we can barely seat and unconsciously prepare ourselves to stand and walk away.

Comfortable Standing - Unlike standing on both legs preparing to go somewhere, we tend to stand on one leg while relaxing.

Comfortable Seating - This is normal sitting posture that a woman adopts quite often. Unlike legs put parallel on ground by male, she rests one leg on another.

Comfortable Recline - In relax mood, we tend to rest our back near horizontal position. Legs are also stretched to mimic asleep.

Ready to walk away - We unconsciously starts pointing by leg at the direction we want to move or go.

Thinking - This is very classical posture we adopt while seriously thinking or planning about something.

Under-confident - When somebody lacks confident and courage, torso lowers towards ground. It’s a sign of submission or surrender also.

Leave me alone - This is typical posture adopted when person gets frustrated, sad or ruminates on something.

Ready for action - Under aggressive mood, hands are rested automatically on hips to bluff the overall body size in appearance. Resting either hand on hip is sing of insularity or even frustration.

Friendly and Fearless - While we feel relaxed, friendly, open, welcoming, confident and social, we stand perfectly upright, keep hands parallel to torso and let palms to remain open and visible to other.

Let's Argue - This is classical posture we adopt while arguing or during verbal combat. One leg is put on another to secure vulnerable parts of body from being hurt and torso is elevated to appear bigger/taller opposite of others.

1) Body Language Brain 2) Reading Body Language - Clusters 3) Reading Body Language - Congruence 4) Reading Body Language - Proxemics 5) Reading Body Language - Context 6) Reading Body Language - Micro Expressions 7) Reading Body Language - Para Language 8) Body Language - Common Facial Expressions 9) Reading Body Language - Common Hand Gestures 10) My posture discovery

Reading Body Language - Para Language

2011-12-31T09:00:00.001Z

How words are pronounced is most important than their literal meaning. There’s strong relation between vocal and physical expressions - condition. We cannot pronounce words the way we want until everything required for same is perfectly combined or arranged - consciously or unconsciously. This is what we call as science of PARA LANGUAGE.

As like paying keen attention to visual clues while reading body language, listening to voice also gives insight of person’s emotional and physical state. Like making gestures by hand, we also modulate our voices depending upon different circumstances, conditions, and needs. The emotional and homeostatic processes are deciding factors for same.

Humans have very well developed system for creating different sounds and vary tone, volume and speed of pronunciation. Torso, throat, oral cavity, lips, jaws, tongue, rate of breathing and facial muscles play different roles altogether. Physical movements, level of energy, body mass and hormones also add to them. Kind of sound we create while talking is like a signature.

We can roughly co-relate the physical and mental state of persons shown in following images with kind of voices they would be interacting with.

Domination - A police officer talking in firm tone and uniform pitch would be standing upright, bluffing his chest, stiffening neck and perhaps putting hands on hips or holding them on back.

Exhaustion - A lady speaking in monotonous and sluggish voice (on telephone) might be physical exhausted, feeling sad or nervous, sitting alone and consoling herself.

Play time - A laughing, twittering and singing boy in joyous tone would be surely making merry, playing, jumping and dancing.

Gossip - Two colleagues whispering (behind your back) would be sitting close to each other and may not be making any gestures and meeting gaze with other.

Conflict - Yelling and shouting couple (at neighborhood) would be making aggressive gestures, clenching fists, bearing teeth, crossing hands on chests and fiercely gazing towards each other.

Convincing - A salesman buttering up your boss to place an order or sign a contract would be slightly leaning forward, titling his neck at once side and smiling.

Study of PARA LANGUAGE is most useful when we cannot observe somebody face-to-face.

1) Basic emotional expressions 2) Body Language Brain 3) Reading Body Language - Clusters 4) Reading Body Language - Congruence 5) Reading Body Language - Proxemics 6) Reading Body Language - Context 7) Reading Body Language - Micro Expressions 8) Body Language - Common Postures 9) Body Language - Common Facial Expressions 10) Reading Body Language - Common Hand Gestures