Northern Rustication

It's the Little Things

2015-03-09T14:02:00.000-03:00

Memories, things & bits that have been making me happy lately.

Thinking of how soon I'll be working at the vineyard again, finding little wonders like dew covered spiderwebs or nests full of robins eggs or birds i never knew existed.

The nights spent writing at my desk lit only by white icicle lights and flickering candles, accompanied by a soundtrack of my purring cat and the scratch of my ink pen running across the page.

Hikes through evergreens and the beams of sunlight that spot the soft floor, making every step a different temperature.

Listening to the music I blasted last summer while dreaming about races down dirt roads on adventures to nowhere in particular.

When dogs I love recognize me from across the street and drag their owners over so they can get a head scratch and check my pocket for treats.

Reading prose or books or poetry that are so beautiful i can feel them in my body and soul as though they've temporarily taken up residence deep within me.

The moment when you’re having an honest conversation with someone and you feel a little less alone in the world.

When I ask Tyler to lie down with me “just for a minute” after a big breakfast but then we end up curling into each other and napping like cats for hours.

The sound of a summer bonfire late at night and the soft voices that surround it.

Looking out my window this morning and seeing water run down the street for the first time in months while the thermometer reads above freezing for the first time in what feels like forever.

Believing that Summer's intoxicating touch may finally be on its way.

8 Ways to Make the Most of Winter's Last Breath

2015-02-06T06:00:00.000-04:00

Winter in a cold climate is beautiful at first. Christmas feels more magical, and New Years intentions feel fresh when everything is a pure white. But once the holidays and first month of the year passes, the season has long lost its charm and newness and instead feels like a long cold purgatory that has no end in sight. Last year we had snow until mid-April, and although I'm worried it will be the same this year, I've been trying to push back against the winter blues and wanted to share them with you in case you've been feeling the same.

Wake up with the sun and rise with intention. In a few months the sun will be rising much earlier, making it harder to watch the day come alive as you sip your morning coffee. Being able to stretch slowly as the first rays of light illuminate the sky, journal your day's intentions as the birds start their morning song, and wash your face as the first ray of light streams through the window just may help your body feel more in tune with the natural world.

Read a wintery book by the windowsill as the snowflakes fall while you warm yourself with a cup of tea or cocoa. I read The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey last month and it helped me settle into the season. The book has a slight fairytale feel to it and Ivey's imagery is absolutely beautiful. It is set in 1920's homestead Alaska and her writing perfectly portrays how Winter's harshness is also what can make the season beautiful.

Bring a bit of green inside. It's been months since I've seen the grass and looking outside only to see 3 feet of white piled on top of my summer garden has me feeling that Spring will never come. This weekend my boyfriend and I are going to go to a greenhouse and adopt a few potted herbs and plants to take home and place on our windowsills and tables. By bringing some life indoors, I will be reminded that it won't be long before I'll be spending hours in my garden outdoors again.

On the days when the snowflakes are big and soft, bundle up and venture outside so you can catch one on your tongue. Challenge your younger siblings, the neighbourhood kids or anyone who is young at heart to a snowball fight – loser makes hot chocolate! Create snowforts, build a snowperson or do anything else that reminds you of childhood snowdays long left behind.

Find your nearest outdoor rink, rummage through your parents' attic for a pair of skates, and experience the thrill of skating outside, no matter how wobbly your legs may be. If possible, try to track down some hockey sticks and a puck. As a kid I waited all year for the trip to my Uncle's cabin where I could play pond hockey amongst the mountains, and even now the sound of my skates ripping across the lake gives me one of the biggest natural thrills I've yet to experience.

On dark snowy evenings wrap yourself in an extra scarf and venture outside. Leave your headphones at home and listen instead to the sound of your boots touching virgin snow. make footprints on the fresh snow and watch how your breath fogs while snow dances under the streetlights as the world is so quiet, yet so alive all at once.

Fill your home with light. String fairy lights around the rooms you're in most, light scented candles whenever your curl up on your couch and light a fire if you have a wood stove or fireplace. Although the days have gotten longer since the solstice, February can often feel like the darkest month now that the lights and decorations of the holidays have passed. Soft, cozy lights will help keep your spirits up until we are met once again with those long summer nights that we crave so much.

Savour this last bit of hibernation. Soon Spring will arrive and you will cast all the heavy blankets aside, but for now relish in the last few blasts of cold air by retreating to your bed and burying yourself in blankets and warmth. Make your bedroom your den – put a canopy over your bed, place soft rugs on the floor and surround yourself with the softest of textures. Come March you can paw your way out of the layers, but this month is the perfect time for you and maybe a loved one to spend your evenings in a state of hibernation while you store your energy until Spring.

Waiting for the Sunrise

2015-01-27T07:00:00.000-04:00

Sometimes all you need to do is return to the shores of your childhood with a cup of coffee and the one you love and watch as the sun slowly rises with the sound of the gulls. The silence and darkness is always thickest before the dawn, and it reminded me of the words I grew up singing long ago. "Though the sorrow may last for the night, the joy comes in the morning."

Ambleside Beach, West Vancouver, December 2014.

The 8 New Releases I Can't Wait to Read in 2015

2015-01-08T08:00:00.000-04:00

I've recently realized that I've never posted about books before, which I found slightly strange considering I'm an indie bookstore worker by day and a constant reader by night. My favourite parts of my job are when I get to match a reader to their perfect read and when I get to hear about all the forthcoming new releases, and I figured I could do a little bit of both here.

I've listed some of the new releases that I'm most excited about, but this is nowhere near an exhaustive list of all the good books that will be released this year. I tend to read books about the struggles of being human and mankind's relationship with nature, choices that are reflected on this list, but you just may find something that interests you regardless of your reading preferences.

All the Bright Places // Jennifer Niven // January 6, 2015

I'm so glad that this book is being released right at the beginning of the year, as it's been on my to-be-read list for months. Jennifer Niven's debut novel follows the unlikely friendship of a boy, Finch, and a girl, Violet, who meet on top of a bell tower where Finch talks Violet out of jumping. Teenage love stories are a dime a dozen, but rarely does a story come along that portrays mental illness and suicide in such a realistic and unflinching manner. Already set to be a film starring Elle Fanning, All the Bright Places promises to be a funny and heart-breaking read about young love, old struggles and the art of trying to get by.

Binary Star // Sarah Gerard // January 13

Sarah Gerard's lyrical account of a young woman struggling with anorexia and the road trip she takes with her alcoholic, long-distance boyfriend has been creating quite the buzz throughout the literary community. While circumnavigating the United States, the two protagonists happen across a book on veganarchism and believe they've finally found a direction for their lives, a direction that will keep them from fading away. An intense read about two lost lovers and the society that keeps them sick, I preordered this book as soon as I heard a fellow bookseller raving about it. Check out an excerpt of the book here.

Etta and Otto and Russel and James // Emma Hooper // January 29

Eighty-two year old Etta's greatest unfulfilled wish is to see the ocean – a wish made difficult by the fact that she lives in the rolling farmlands of Saskatchewan, some 2,000 miles away from the Atlantic. One morning, she wakes up early and takes a rifle, some chocolate and her best walking boots and begins walking towards the waters of Halifax. Meanwhile, her husband Otto waits patiently back at their farm, left only with his memories and letters he writes to Etta but never sends. This book comes recommended by my most trusted book reviewer and I'm hoping it will whisk me away like Michael Crummey's Sweetland did earlier this summer.

I'll Meet You There // Heather Demetrios // February 5

Seventeen year old Skylar wants nothing more to escape her town of Creek View, a town here the only future for young women is one in a double-wide trailer with a baby on the hip.After graduating, the only thing standing between her and art school is three months of minimum-wage work – until something happens that leaves her torn between her dreams and those she loves. Nineteen year old Josh escaped Creek View a year back when he joined the Marines, but is forced to return after his leg is blown off in Afghanistan. When he meets Skylar at his job at the Paradise Motel, their shared isolation results in a beautiful friendship against a dark backdrop of alcoholism, poverty and war.

Our Endless Numbered Days // Claire Fuller // March 17

A father obsessed with survivalism takes his eight year old daughter from their home in London to a remote hut in the woods and tells her that the rest of the world has been destroyed in this gripping and chilling debut. When Peggy finds a pair of boots in the forest and beings to search for their owner, she unknowingly unravels the series of events that brought her to the woods and, in doing so, finds the strength she needs to go back to the home and mother she had lost forever. A story of growing up, the perils of isolation and obsession, and the power of trauma, Fuller's debut will be a perfect companion on my first Spring camping trip.

It's a Long Story // Willie Nelson // May 5

Having recently turned 80, Willie Nelson has written his complete, unvarnished biography leaving no moment or experience unturned from Texas and Nashville to Hawaii and his legendary bus. Although this is not Nelson's first book, this is the first “tell-all” style biography and it promises to shed light on everything from his drive to write music to his biggest lows (his bankruptcy) and his biggest highs (the founding of Farm Aid). As a lover of classic country artists such as Willie, Johnny and Merle, I'm looking forward to reading this on my front porch this summer as I replay memories of my time in Nashville between the pages.

If You Feel Too Much: Thoughts on Things Found and Lost and Hoped For // Jamie Tworkowski // May 12

In 2006, Jamie Tworkowski wrote a piece called To Writer Love on Her Arms about helping a friend through her struggles of addiction that immediately went viral. Nine years later, the non-profit that his writing gave birth to has raised millions, is an internationally-recognized leader in suicide and addiction prevention and is a source of hope and resources for people worldwide. Jamie's first book is a collection of essays that invite readers to admit their pains, believe that hope is not admit and know that it is always okay to ask for help. Tworkowski is a huge inspiration in my life, not only as a philanthropist but as a writer, and I so look forward to reading this in May.

The Mountain Can Wait // Sarah Leipciger // May 19

As a lover of the wilderness and an inhabitant of a rural village, books with strong nature writing and small town politics are always winners with me and Leipciger's debut is sure to be no exception. A telling of one family's unraveling in a Canadian Rocky Mountain logging community, The Mountain Can Wait tells the stories of a reclusive single father and a disappeared son who must each confront their private demons if they are to have any hope of reconciliation and redemption. This novel hailed for its beautiful imagery and psychologically gripping plot and I look forward to reading about a setting I love so dearly.

Which of these books are you thinking of reading? If none of them have piqued your interest, let me know what you like to read in the comments and I'll see if I can find you your perfect book match.

Also, let me know if you'd be interested in more book-related posts – I'd love to hear what you think!

On Round Trips to Nowhere and Dusted Evergreens.

2014-12-31T02:18:00.000-04:00

We were ready. Car packed, sweaters pulled tight, a cooler tucked in the back seat. Prime viewing windows claimed, playlists curated, sleepy eyes adjusting to the lack of morning light. We planned to chase the fog a thousand kilometers from West to East, from the Pacific to the Kootenays and arrive by early evening to a cabin in the mountains filled with family and old memories.

Sixteen hours and eleven hundred kilometers later, we returned home, defeated.

Up until the early afternoon, we were making good time. We stopped only for gas and drove through rain and snow, through mountains and valleys. The weather was rough at times, leading to squeezed hands and tight breaths as we drove on highways with no visibility and passed cars stranded in ditches but we carried on, anxious and excited to arrive. I was nodding off to Johnny Cash, head leaned up against the window, when I heard my dad and sister comment on how it had been several minutes since they had seen any Westbound traffic.

Minutes later, we ground to a halt. We kept the car running, my dad’s foot on the brake, but soon put her in park after five minutes had passed and cars began to queue behind us. Soon it became apparent that there must be an accident, and a quick twitter search revealed that the only highway in our area of BC had been closed - a terrible accident had occurred. No further updates would be posted for another ninety minutes, so we had no choice but to sit tight just three hours from our family.

Big Christmas snowflakes were falling all around, covering the evergreens with a thick blanket. With nothing else to do but make the most of the moment, my sisters, my love and I got out of the car and walked down the middle of the Trans Canada Highway. We were in a pretty remote area, about thirty minutes away on either side from even a gas station, so everything was untouched. However, the increasing number of sirens and the number of minutes passing began to cast a somber shadow across the whole experience.

Finally we received an update. The highway would not reopen for at least another nine hours. We had no choice but to turn around and start thinking about whether we would stay overnight and finish the drive the next day (which would leave us with only a day and a half to spend with family) or turn around completely. After driving Westward for forty-five minutes and realizing that all the hotels were completely booked with other stranded travelers, we realized that our only real option was to head back the way we came for another eight hours and sleep in the same beds we made that morning while our family reunited without us.

We were crushed. Phone calls were made and plans were debated, but there really was no other option. We would be traveling for 16 hours only to end up back where we started.

We spend the first hour in silence and passed another two semi-trucks in ditches while on the road. Blinding winds and snow and fog caused us to hold our breath again, even more so as details of the accident were released. A semi truck collided with a passenger vehicle and two people lost their lives.

We didn’t make it to our family, but at least we left knowing we could try again next year. Two people didn’t make it home, and never will.

If only, we kept saying. If only my sister didn’t delay us by looking for that book. If only dad didn’t set off the alarm. If only we left ten minutes earlier. At first our if onlys were said with the intention that we would have skipped the delay, but soon after realizing that the crash occurred just ten minutes before we got near the site of the crash we realized perhaps it was the little annoyances that saved our lives.

2014 was a year where I constantly thought “if only.” If only I joined that club. If only I took that class. If only I didn’t choose not to job search right away. If only I didn’t take that risk. If only I said goodbye.

some photos by the lovely juniperanne

Usually my “if onlys” were negative, causing me to think of the good things that didn’t happen. However, maybe I’ve been looking at it the wrong way. Maybe things are happening the way they should, and I just can’t see that yet. Maybe things aren’t happening according to plan because the plans I’ve made for myself ultimately wouldn’t’ve satisfied me anyways.

I’ll never know how things may have been different in 2014, just as I’ll never know if we could have been taken that day had we not been delayed. But perhaps it’s the approach and attitude that matters, not the potential results. Perhaps it’s how we see how we could be benefitted when things go wrong rather than how we dwell on the things we may or may not have lost.

May 2015 be a year of new opportunities, joy among hardship, and peace that surpasses understanding for you all.

For You - November Desktop Calendars

2014-11-01T07:00:00.000-03:00

link to download

November is a funny month. The most stubborn of leaves hang on to their tree while the looming clouds threaten snow. Temperatures start dipping in to the negatives, but the cold doesn't lock into your bones like it will in January. Christmas is around the corner, but festive songs still sound out of place.

To help you stay on track during this disorienting month, I threw together a couple of desktop calendars for you to use. Both are photos I took while driving through the Kootenays and the Rockies. I hope you like them - if you end up using one, let me know!

on autumn fog & a lullaby of rain

2014-10-22T00:15:00.000-03:00

Today was a day of fog & rain, of nature's beautiful decay, of dampness that chills your core and awakens something primal deep within. Today was the first day I've worn a touque since April, the first day since the Spring that my fingers had to dig for warmth in my pockets. I left for my walk to work an hour early and took the extra 45 minutes to capture a moment in an ever changing world.

There's something about the rain and fog that makes me feel more alive. I think it must be the native Pacific NorthWest part of me for while I find energy in this moody tranquility everyone else complains of it's settlement into our little farm town. All I can do is hope it stays so that I can keep falling asleep to the sound of raindrops pounding on the window, the familiar lullaby carrying me away.

Lessons I've Learned the Hard Way on the Road to 22

2014-10-09T22:32:00.001-03:00

A few days ago I turned 22, and today I look back on the long road that's lead me here. It doesn't involve Taylor Swift, the mourning of carefree days or the hardships of being a twenty-something, for somewhere along the way I fell into a few dark holes that gave me perspectives and experiences I never thought I'd need to learn for myself. Here's what a redemptive departure from self-destruction has taught me over the years.

Alcohol will not disinfect your internal wounds, no matter how much it stings on the way down.

You cannot save someone who is lost in themselves, no matter how hard you try. Likewise, you are the only one who can save yourself.

Some people believe in a God, or many Gods, and some do not. This has no effect whatsoever on how good of a person they are, on if their marriage will work, or on how they may try to right any wrongs they have committed. Get to know people for who they are, not what they believe.

Driving 120 kilometers an hour down a rural highway with Johnny Cash riding shotgun will not make things better but it will ease the pain more than another day spent alone in the dark.

Don’t cut into your arms thinking you will sow pure relief after planting the blade. Relief may come, yes, but it will be poisoned with the pollen of everything you were trying to drown out, causing your pain to grow fresh once again.

Do not keep reading articles on why you MUST travel RIGHT NOW or you're MISSING OUT FOREVER if you are currently unable to or are not interested. You know why you are not traveling now; you know the circumstances that are disallowing you to to take to the wind like the sparrow you watch out your front window every day. Your reality is different than theirs no matter how many times they write that there is no excuse for you not to be in India right now.

Always keep extra granola bars in your backpack for when you go into the city. You may not have the money or desire to give to everyone you see, but the man with the sign around his neck telling you he’s hungry needs that $.25 bar much more than you do.

Sometimes you mother will cry and you will need to hold her as she has held you so many times. Rock her gently and rub her back as she did to you; repeat the same little rhymes she told you when you’re little world felt like it was falling apart. remember that even super glue gives way sometimes and that it needs a bit of warmth and time to hold everything together again.

A horse will never judge you for anchoring yourself to her when you feel life is about to wash you away. Throw your arms around her neck and know that if you cry she will only pull you in closer to her with her soft, strong head.

People will say more with their eyes than with their words. Some of the strongest pain I’ve seen was accompanied by “I'm fine”'s, despite scarred eyes whispering that they no longer have desire to go on. Some of the most meaningful “I love you’s” have come from silent mouths despite eyes that scream it loud and clear through the storm. Some of the sweetest words come from wide grins whose message is made obsolete by cold eyes. Don’t believe someone if their eyes don’t match what they’re saying.

Everyone has problems and struggles and there is no scale of less or greater than when it comes to life experiences. Do not scoff at people who have problems that seem simple to you; do not tell others that you wish you had their problems instead of your own. You condescension will do nothing to ease their pain but it will make you seem like a pretentious asshole.

Stillness, like silence, is as necessary as business, but it is often abandoned and replaced with devices. Spend a day on an old, secluded trail with a bagged lunch and a notebook and notice how sometimes the sound of your own breathing and the scatter of leaves is the only soundtrack you need.

You do not need to love or be with someone simply because they love you. Sometimes love is not enough, no matter how much of a good person they are. Kiss their forehead one last time and walk away before you find yourself too attached to let go.

You are not a static character in a pre-determined setting. It is okay to go from being a leather jacket clad teenager finding solace in the streets of the city to a young woman with mud on her boots who is most at home tending to horses in a rural province 5,000 kilometers from home. Neither identity cancels out the other - change does not mean that the previous season was a false identity.

Your sisters are the only ones who will understand what it was like to grow up on unstable ground where earthquakes happened constantly without warning. Hold them close, physically when they are near and in spirit when they are far. When the earthquakes give way to a permanent chasm, they will be the only ones to ensure you're don't fall through the cracks as you aim to stand with a foot on each side.

You are made of stardust - do not let anyone extinguish your light.

You will make it. There may be nights where you cry yourself to sleep and where things don’t seem better in the morning and there may be weeks where you just don’t feel like staying around any longer. But you can, and will, make it.

Everyone has walked a different path; everyone knows different things to be true. Regardless of where you are in life, what has life been teaching you lately?

The Walking In Between

2014-09-01T22:16:00.003-03:00

Life is not the mountain tops, it's the walking in between

I like you walking next to me.

showers in niagra & wine on the lake

2014-08-22T12:39:00.000-03:00

My love and I have been having a whirlwind of an August. The first weekend in August we went to a 4 day country music festival and camped with friends that we met at the same festival last year. Four days ago we flew from Ontario to Vancouver and then drove 10 hours to the Rockies for my cousin's wedding and in a few days we will take our time driving back to Vancouver to enjoy my hometown together in summer's twilight. It has been an incredible month and I'm feeling ever so grateful for the opportunities I've been given and that people that I've been surrounded with.

Last weekend, however, was spent in Niagra. The trip came as a total surprise courtesy of Tyler - I didn't know where we were going until the day of! Our weekend passed by far too quickly and seemed to bring new light to my soul. My love manages a private vineyard so we enjoyed seeing, touring and tasting the vineyards from the famed region and dreaming of our future.

Tyler also got us so close to the falls I could taste them on two seperate occasions - once on foot through tunnels behind and beside the falls and second on a boat that had us shower in Niagra's mist as it traveled from America to Canada.

As much as I loved the tunnels, the boat tour made my day. I grew up next to the Pacific and many of my fondest memories are on boats. Being able to glide along the aqua water right into the falls was something I'll never forget. The spray started slowly, and before I knew it I was completely drenched from the mist. I laughed like a child at the ponchos blowing into everyone's mouth; I whooped and hollered at the feeling of being truly alive and a part of the natural world. I need to let my heartbeat sync up with the earth's pulse more often.

odds & ends {liebster edition}

2014-08-06T09:00:00.000-03:00

About a week ago, my dear soul sister Ashley at Ashley McElyea passed on the liebster blog award to this little corner of the online world. For those who've never heard of it, it is a virtual award passed from blogger to blogger (with under 200 followers) where the recipient tags the one that bestowed it, lists 11 facts about themselves, answers 11 questions, and nominates 11 more people to answer 11 new questions. While I don't usually do this kind of thing, Ashley asked some great questions and I figured it would be a nice change from the long stories I usually post. Don't forget to check out Ashley's writings & the blogs of those I pass this along to! Also, I'd love you to leave a comment listing a few facts about you so I can get to know you better.

11 facts about me:

I got my first (and only) tattoo shortly after turning 16. No, my parents had no idea and no, I do not regret it. It's the eagle emblem from the Ramones logo and I love having the reminder of who I was when I got it vs. who I am now.
I've lived in 3 provinces & 1 state and I've gone to 6 high schools and 2 universities. All my possessions are stored between the 3 provinces so it makes looking for a book rather difficult.
When I was 12 my family and I went to a big cat sanctuary in Spokane and I hand fed a tiger. He took the meat so gently that I was convinced he must live in constant gratitude to those who saved him from the drug lord's house.
A few years ago I was pretty into zines and had two on the go; one was my personal writing under a pen name, and the other a feminist compilation zine. Two copies of each were purchased by Columbia University for their library and I think it may have been the first and only time I was proud of myself.
Hockey makes me more emotional than almost anything else. When I go to a Canucks home game I get tears in my eyes and a flutter through my stomach. Partially because I played as a kid and it gave me my first sense of identity and partially because the Stanley Cup run in 2011 was one of the best times of my life.
If I could live in flannel shirts, white tank tops and baseball caps everyday I would be a happy woman.

I love horses more than almost anything. I've recently found a horse to spend time with and ride in the area without charge and already I feel as though my soul is more rested. Horses can speak to me like no human can.
My hair has been dark blonde, bleach blonde, regular blonde (natural color), black and bleach dual toned, little mermaid red, bright pink, light pink, dark orange and orange with yellow highlights and the streaks I've had while blonde include purple, pink, red and a red feather. I haven't used any dye at all for 2.5 years and while it's nice it feels strange not doing something new every few months.
The most consistent job I've had involves books. I worked at Chapters for 1.5 years as my first job and loved it; I've also spent the past two summers as a keyholder for the indie bookstore in town.
My partner manages a private vineyard, and a few times a week I'll go to work with him. I love working with the plants and the dirt, it does the soul good as well as the body.
I really don't like my big toenail.

My answers to Ashley's questions:

What is your ideal Sunday?
Waking up next to my love and staying in bed huddled close while the sun streams in. Slowly making my way to the kitchen to make a coffee in the perkulator. Cooking a breakfast skillet in my cast iron pan while Johnny Cash plays and my love steals kisses. Going for a late morning walk through the trees and mountains hand in hand before parting ways so that I can nestle myself into a corner of a coffee shop to write. Reuniting in the evening along with friends at our place for beer, barbecue, bonfire and music.

If you could pick any decade to live in, what would it be and why?

When I was a teenager I always wished that I was a teenager in either the 70's in New York City so that I could have been there during the Bowery punk scene or in the 90's in Olympia so that I could have been at all the riot grrrl shows and movements.

Pick up the book you are currently reading. The author is your lunch date. What do you talk about?

I'm just finishing Indian Horse by Richard Wagamese, my favourite author. He's Ojibway and has lead a fascinating life – I would talk to him about spirit, the earth, Native ceremonies and the sacredness that surrounds us.

What are your must-haves in your travel bag?

Headphones, laptop, a sweater or stuffed Simba to use as a pillow, mints, a journal, and 3 different books – a work of heavy fiction, light fiction and non fiction so I can read something that suits whatever mood I'm in.

If you could manipulate one element which one would it be and why?

I would definitely want to manipulate water. I would manipulate all water to be drinkable so that people would stop dying of water borne illnesses, and I would run across oceans. Also, I really like tubing and wakeboarding so I definitely would not mind getting to do that at any time.

Pick up your book again. Flip through it without looking and write the first sentence you land on.

We were a league of nomads, mad for the game, mad for the road, mad for ice and snow, an Arctic wind on our faces and a frozen puck on the blade of our sticks." - Richard Wagamese, Indian Horse

What is your favorite home cooked meal?

I have so many that I cannot name just one, but last night my boyfriend's mom made a type of chowder/stew called beans & peas & new potatoes. It's a Canadian Maritime meal, and back there it's considered a horror if you make it when the produce isn't in season and if the vegetables don't come from your own garden or farm. She told us stories of eating it on the rural farm she grew up on and I just loved how the dinner she prepared us had such a history for her.

If you could ask pick one person to travel with the for the rest of your life, who would it be and why?

My love and partner Tyler. I can't imagine living life without him and I love watching his face light up at the dawn of a new adventure; I love hearing the passion and excitement in his voice when we're going somewhere new. I would also love to travel with my little sister as she is the best sister one could ask for and I'd love to share new experiences with her.

Pick up the object next to you. What is it and what are you using it for?

The cinnamon candle pumpkin in my hand is warming the room with its fiery light; it's calming me with its gentle aroma.

What is your favorite season and why?

I love blackberry season – the last two weeks of August and the first two weeks of September. The days are still warm but the evenings are crisp; the atmosphere is filled with the anticipation of new beginnings and honest conversation.

If you could have a conversation with your 16 year old self, what advice would you give her?

At sixteen I was in a very dark spot and I was getting advice (both good and bad) from an overwhelming amount of people left right and centre. If I could be in the same room of my sixteen year old self I wouldn't converse – I would simply hold her close, tuck the hair that she hides behind out of her face, and rock her gently, telling her that there will come a time when she will look forward to waking up in the morning.

Nominated Blogs:

Due to the fact that a lot of the blogs I follow have large followings, I am unable to pass this on to 11 blogs (feel free to comment with your blog URL so I can check it out!) but I highly recommend you check out these lovely beings.

Juniper Anne: This lovely blog is run by my youngest sister Jennifer - she's the veteran blogger of the two of us and her photography is amazing! She often posts her daily fashions, and I am forever jealous of the way she can put an outfit together.

Life, In Creation: Amy writes about her life in Alaska, her favourite Etsy shops and her life as a small business owner. I love the flow in her writing and her photos are beautiful!

Morrowmoon: Chelsea's blog is quite new but I guarantee you will be blown away by her breathtaking photos. Her images and words have a depth that I only wish I could emulate.

My questions for the bloggers (and anyone else who would like to answer):

What book has had the biggest impact on your life and why?
If you could only listen to 3 music artists for the rest of your life, who would they be?
What was your favourite playground equipment as a kid?
East Coast or West Coast?
What is your "spirit animal," and why?
What is your biggest wish for the next year?
Can you play any instruments?
What was your favourite junk food as a kid & now?
What is your go to routine after a bad day?
What are your top 3 favourite quotes/song lyrics?
Do you wish on shooting stars?

If you're reading this and want to answer these questions, consider yourself nominated - I would love to read more about your lives. Take care loves!

PS: I've recently become addicted to Instagram - come find me @northernrustication so I can ~~creep~~ admire your photos!

on moose & freedom

2014-07-31T09:00:00.000-03:00

Sometimes life has a way of showing us that we’re being looked out for, that our needs are being met. Sometimes this comes in the form of a much needed work bonus, a freelance opportunity, or a connection with a mentor. For me, it took the form of a moose.

A few months ago, at the beginning of May, I was savoring my last few months as a student and resident of New Brunswick. I spent many weeks living on my partner’s family farm and our evenings consisted of walks through the nearly untouched hills and watching herds of deer that called the old corn fields home bound away from us with every step. I knew that it was time to move onwards to a new chapter in life and although I did not want to leave, I was content with how my three years had transpired. However, there was one part of me that remained unsettled, a near vision and deep yearning that haunted those last few weeks - I had yet to see a moose.

Before moving 5000 kilometers from my hometown and family three years prior, I decided that the only thing I wanted out of my experience was to see a moose. I talked to friends about my moose non stop; in fact, one of the first conversations that my partner Tyler and I had was how I was going to hire him to hijack a bus and drive me around until we saw the incredible creature. But almost three years in New Brunswick had passed, and still, no moose.

By this point, finding the moose was about more than just finding an animal. My time in New Brunswick, although life changing and incredible, was not as I thought it would be. All the other plans and expectations that I had for my university life shattered and crumbled somewhere along the path. Seeing a moose was the one goal that I was able to hold onto throughout the years, the one possibility that remained. However, time was drawing to an end. My apartment was vacant and I only had 6 days left before I packed up for good - yet still the creature remained elusive.

She found me when I finally stopped looking.

The sun was streaming through my car windows as I drove alongside the Saint John River with my love in the front seat and my father (who had flown cross country for my graduation) in behind. The river had recently flooded and its force created marshland from what was previously rich farmland and provincial park. My dad was reading quietly and I was lost in my thoughts as my love tapped patterns on my thigh that matched the rhythm of the country radio station. I was taking everything in, creating mental photographs so that I would not forget the sights of my beloved province.

Suddenly, I heard both Tyler and my father cry out in jumbled words. When I realized that they were excitedly trying to communicate to me that we had just passed a moose, I stopped breathing for a moment. I turned my car around as fast as I could and slowly went back the way I came. Time stood still as I saw her - my moose, lying down at the side of the road.

She rose slowly when she saw us, and I turned off the ignition not daring to make a sound. She was a young moose, not quite a calf but not yet a full grown cow either. As she flexed her muscles and stood fully erect at about four feet, I feared she would run away but instead she just turned towards me. Despite her size, she was anything but intimidating - her ears twitched towards me as her eyes met mine as if she was expecting me. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.

Our silence was interrupted by my father throwing an apple that he found rolling on the car floor towards my moose. At first I was terrified she’d bolt at the sudden movement, but when the fruit rolled to the edge of the road just out of reach of her comfort zone, I decided I needed to meet my moose face to face.

Slowly I got out of the car, whispering to my companions to signal if they saw momma or daddy moose heading my way. With my head lowered and hands exposed, I started walking towards her. With every step I took I feared she would bolt but she calmly stood her ground. As I lowered myself to the ground our eyes met once again. I tossed the apple towards her but she showed little interest in anything but holding my gaze. There was no fear between the two of us, nor was there any pride. Neither of us was hunting nor being hunted, as is so often the case between man and moose, and so we simply communicated through spirit - just as man and creature have been doing for thousands of years. After what seemed like forever, we both turned our backs simultaneously and went our separate ways.

My eyes filled with tears as I got back in the car, and my heart finally felt at peace. I no longer felt hesitant about moving on to the next chapter, but instead felt free to move forward. The moose had settled the storm rooted in me, for I no longer felt as though I was leaving incomplete. Without saying a word, she reminded me that the wind will change directions and I will lose my footing now and again but that sometimes its the simplest desires are the ones that mean the most.

heavy and light.

2014-06-24T08:00:00.000-03:00

It seems that change is the only thing I've been able to depend on lately. I'm in a (somewhat) new town again; last year I spent my four months of summer here before going back to school. Now that I've graduated I don't know when I'll leave this town and that brings both a sense of security and a sense of anxiousness. Don't get me wrong, I love this little farm town of 1,000 but I have no friends here, no one to talk to when my boyfriend goes to hang out with the boys he grew up with. I love his sister to death and she's one of my favourite people, but sometimes I wish I had a group of friends to grab drinks or coffee with. I'm going to try and expand a bit but as a shy person meeting new people scares the heck out of me. I long for community. Right now I'm in a nearby town's coffee shop and it's the most at home I've felt in a while; coffee shops are always the same, regardless of province. They're familiar and comforting.

The past months have been chaotic, but not necessarily in a bad way. I finished school two months ago and my dad visited New Brunswick for a week, staying at the farm with my love Tyler, and I while we toured around the province. My mom and sister then came for two whirlwind days and finally it was my graduation from university. There was no real fanfare or deep emotion, as all my closest friends from university had transferred or dropped out a year or two prior, but it was a good way to get closure for a strange chapter in life. To be honest, the thing I'll miss most about living in Sackville will be the horses I grew to love as my own. They have my heart, and their owner is the most precious woman. Being away from New Brunswick is strange.. soon I'll have to change my phone number. College wasn't like anything I would have expected and I still haven't figured out if that is good or bad.

Tyler and I then drove 1700 kilometers in two days from New Brunswick to Ontario and we've been here about 5 weeks now. I'm keeping busy – I work as a keyholder at an independent bookstore, I help my love with the labor work on the private vineyard he manages (I get tractor driving lessons this week!), I've been selling prints online, house and pet sitting for some of the people in town and I've been working really hard at the vegetable garden in the backyard while occasionally selling the extra at the farmers market. Tyler's family is absolutely lovely and I'm so blessed to be living with them for now. Living with parents may be considered lame and cliché for graduates, but both of us are pretty broke and neither of us know where the hell we want to live or what we want to do with our lives so we're taking the summer to try and figure things out.

I'm at a time of transition and confusion. I don't know where I want to live or what I want to do and because I've been so mobile in my life I don't feel like I really have a home base. Aside from family, even my hometown holds nothing but people I used to know and places I used to frequent. It's odd feeling like such a drifter. Sometimes I feel light and filled with inspiration; other times I'm so overwhelmed with doubt and confusion that all I can do is breathe in and remember to stay in the moment. Tonight I made the house a dinner of lettuce wraps, watermelon salad and chips served with strawberry salsa & guacamole; feeling as though I had a purpose filled me up more than the food itself. Things will turn out alright; I just need to remember that more. I plan on trying to make myself write more as, although I've wanted to, it feels like every time I put pen to paper my thoughts run dry. I hope to solve that. I hope to grow. I hope to plant roots somewhere, to find a place that allows me to attach myself and bring forth nourishment and life.

“Our hearts are heavy and light. We laugh and scream and sing. Our hearts are heavy and light.” - Jamie Tworkowski

New Beginnings & Old Dreams

2014-04-10T23:03:00.002-03:00

Somehow, it seems the older you get the faster the days fly by. Tomorrow is the last class of my undergraduate degree, and in one month I'll be walking across the stage to get my diploma. The past few months have been filled with long winters and record snowfalls, joyous family reunions and sorrowful last minute flights to a beloved family member's funeral, the stress of a senior year workload and the joyful fear that comes from thinking of life beyond school. My apartment lease expires in 20 days, and then I will no longer be living in this little maritime town, a place that has cradled me through some of the most difficult yet most triumphant years of my life.

Sometimes I feel like I'm always leaving, and this particular move comes with mixed feelings. New Brunswick was a great escape to me, and although I hope to be back, if there's one thing I've learned these past few years it's that nothing is for certain. I've spent the last few days looking back on things I wish I did and things I regret, but mostly, reminding myself that I beat the odds and that I'm on my way to a new adventure. I'll find my way, regardless of the town. They say your heart will lead you home, and while I'm not sure where it's pointing just yet I trust I'll find out eventually. I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that it's okay not to know all the answers.

Last night my love and I went for a walk through town together, reminiscing on the past few years and reliving memories. These photos were taken only a 5 minute walk from campus - going to university in a rural area provides a very different experience than the traditional big city campus. The divide between wealthy students and lower income townspeople is very apparent, and it provides for some really interesting interactions between people as well as architecture. The lighting in the night seemed to fit the mood perfect - the light pushed through the clouds, just as it always does, and as the snow melted into the street I took a deep breath and reminded myself that everything would work out to be alright.

The Perfect Breakfast Skillet

2014-03-06T07:00:00.000-04:00

There is no better way to start a lazy morning than with a breakfast skillet. Bacon, eggs, hashbrowns and sausage are all good on their own – but when you cook them together, the flavours blend together in a way that can't be fully appreciated except through a skillet. They're also incredibly versatile – even though I've made dozens of skillets, I've never made two quite the same.

This week I was in Vancouver, my hometown, visiting my family. The first morning back, I woke up at 6am due to jetlag and felt like cooking. My mom and sister's had never had a breakfast skillet, so at about 8am while they were slowly waking up to the new day, I was busy putting one together. My mom didn't have a traditional cast iron pan like I usually use, nor did she have bacon, but I made do with what I had to make a breakfast that made the whole house smell like a perfect Saturday morning.

Ingredients for four people:

four cups diced potatoes
eight strips of bacon
eight eggs
a handful of green onion
a handful of your favourite grated cheese
salt and pepper to taste
your favourite spices herbs to taste (I love using herbes de provence and steak spice)
two cloves of garlic

Start first by cooking the bacon to your favourite level of crispiness on medium heat, then set it aside. If you prefer, substitute the bacon for sausage or omit it all together for a meat free breakfast. Do not drain the bacon fat; if you keep it in the pan, it can be used along with the butter for an oil in which to cook the potatoes in, and it will add a great flavour.

Add 1 tablespoon of butter to your skillet, or about 3 tablespoons if you already have bacon fat.. Throw your potatoes into the pan and coat them throughly with the butter. Add salt, pepper, spices and herbs to taste. I enjoy adding steak spices and herbes de provence, but feel free to experiment! Cook the potatoes, flipping occasionally, until they are brown & crispy on the outside, while soft on the inside. It will take roughly ten minutes. As the potatoes are cooking, chop or tear the bacon into small pieces.

Once the potatoes are cooked, add the bacon, green onions and garlic to the skillet and toss them with the potatoes. Form four little pockets in the potatoes and carefully crack one or two eggs in each pocket and sprinkle some grated cheese on each egg. Cook until your eggs have reached your desired level of doneness, then cut the skillet into four servings and serve. Enjoy with a fresh cup of coffee or a glass of orange juice.

This morning, with him, having coffee.

2014-02-15T00:21:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was 891 days since your hand first found mine and we've spent 672 of those days side by side. On day 892, after spending the evening in each others arms, the credits rolled on screen. “You're my June Carter,” you said, and although I'm not nearly as strong, or as smart, or as beautiful as she was the way you look at me makes me think that maybe I have gold embedded in my skin that glows only for you.

There's a lot of things I've been wrong about in life – As a child I thought I'd save the world, as a teenager I thought I'd have it all figured out by 21 and as an adult I thought it would snow today but instead it rained. Yet on the day we met, I somehow knew you and I would intertwine. It's been 1,283,040 hours since that thought and now you are as much a part of me as the Pacific Ocean running through my veins; you exist both within me and beside me like the Atlantic air that we both breathe.

I don't know where we will be in another 891 days but I do know that I could write novels about the way you pull me closer in to you while you sleep without waking or about how your voice sounds when I overhear you saying my name from across the room. I used to laugh about how I was born with steel toes made for kicking lovers to the curb when they got too close but sometime last year I realized the steel has been replaced with a compass that always points me back to you.

Life lately

2014-02-12T08:00:00.000-04:00

Currently...

Reading: Johnny Cash: The Life by Robert Hilburn & The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Dreaming of: Fishing on the lake & horseback riding this summer

Writing: Blog posts, journal entries and papers on rural sociology

Buying: this dress with some Modcloth store credit

Listening to: Johnny Cash, Jose Gonzalez & Jason Aldean

Exploring: The Waterfowl Park beside campus

Planning: How to best turn the farm into a business with my love

Enjoying: Lazy mornings with a second cup of coffee

Baking: Morning glory muffins - I always have some on hand!

Excited for: A road trip to the Southern states with my love in the fall

Learning: That the best education can happen outside the classroom

Lusting: this, this, & this

What've you all been up to this week?

Let me know in the comments - I'd love to hear!

How to unwind after a long day

2014-02-10T17:59:00.000-04:00

It's been one of those days. The customers wouldn't stop complaining, your boss refused to see the progress you've been making, you got a less than stellar mark on the paper you were sure that you had aced. As much as you want to forget about it all, it can be really difficult to leave the day behind. Here are some ways that you can help your body and mind unwind and relax after a long, hard day.

Drink Something Hot

Bring a cup of water or milk to a simmer on the stovetop, watching the tendrils of hot steam escape into the cool air. If you're making tea, pour the water slowly on to the teabag, watching as the colour infuses the clear water; if you're making warm milk, slowly add honey or vanilla to the milk to taste. Hold the cup with both your hands and breathe in the steam and aromas, let them open up your sinuses and refresh your sense of smell. When you sip, sip slowly; feel the warmth spread from the tip of your tongue to the base of your stomach.

Have a Bath

Start by turning on the water and running your hand under the fast stream as you feel for that temperature that's just right. Let the sound of running water soothe your thoughts as you light a candle in your favourite scent. Turn down the rest of the lights so that you can see the candle's flickering cast across the walls; let the glow dance across your skin. If you're able to, keep a little stash of natural bath products on hand for nights like these – you can even make them yourself. Put one in your tub, and step in. Feel the warmth envelop your body like a blanket and forget that there's a world outside your little paradise.

Watch the Sunset

If you're feeling restless, bundle up in your favourite socks and scarf and step outside, otherwise curl up in a blanket by the window with the best Western view. Watch as the sky paints with a palette unique to tonight and revel in the fact that there will never be another sunset quite like this. Crane your neck as you search for the first star and remind yourself that you are never to old to make a wish.

Turn Off Your Phone

We have become so reliant on our phones. They are a main source of communication, entertainment, information and, occasionally, stress. So much time is spent looking at that little bright screen that perhaps you should consider turning it off this evening. If there's someone you're wanting to connect with, write them a letter or call them instead. If you find yourself antsy after ten minutes without knowing what your friends are up to, try reading about someone's fictional world. You may find that you enjoy your immediate world a little more when you're able to occasionally able to separate it from everyone else's.

Write

Sometimes we're not aware of what is weighing us down in life until it's staring us in the face. Writing or journaling gives you the opportunity to process the day's or week's events without fear of judgement, and it may give you a chance to overcome worries that you didn't even know how to name. Let the pen be an extension of your arm, the ink of an extension of your veins; let yourself flow into the pages. No one will judge your written words – they're safe. If you're finding yourself in a rut, list five things that you're grateful for and how they enrich your life.

Read a Book

Perhaps the best way to completely lose yourself after a hard day is by losing yourself in someone else's life. Whether you prefer to read biographies, fiction, or even scientific textbooks, a book can take you out of the world you are in and introduce you to a whole new one, away from the stresses of school or the workplace. “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.” - George R.R. Martin

Get a Good Night's Sleep

When the time has come to end the day, tuck yourself in between your softest blankets and sheets. Let yourself be covered in cotton form the tips of your toes to right below your chin and deeply breathe in the faint smell of fresh laundry that lingers between the fibers. Resist the urge to reach for your phone and go online until your eyes finally shut; instead, practice simple meditation, focusing on each breath and how it relaxes your body. Don't feel anxious if sleep doesn't come immediately – simply enjoy the last few moments of your day doing nothing, for tomorrow will come soon enough.

Sunday morning coffee playlist

2014-02-09T07:30:00.000-04:00

Country oldies have been my favourite genre of music lately and I find that they sound best in the morning over coffee. No matter how rough or pleasant of a Sunday morning you've been having, these (mostly) old crooning boys will serenade you alongside your coffee as the sun shines through your window. Even if country isn't usually your thing, you might just find that these songs compliment a headache, black coffee and greasy food just fine.

listen here: http://rd.io/x/Rl5afPcvLu03/

Building community & solidarity through muffins

2014-02-07T21:42:00.000-04:00

Solidarity is a beautiful concept. The act of uniting with a downtrodden group, sympathizing with their struggles and taking on their purpose as your own results in a fellowship that binds together and is able to rise against oppression with newfound strength. Prior to the other day, I didn't realize that solidarity could be achieved through something as simple as freshly baked muffins.

The snow was falling fairly hard that day, and the windchill was causing the temperature to feel like -25. While I was awakening slowly to a new day, stretching myself out of the spell that sleep had put me under, my university professors were out picketing for better conditions for both students and educators. I had been in a daze for the past while, unsure of what to do with myself now that classes had ceased with little warning.

I had long been looking for an excuse to bake, and as I watch the snowflakes outside my window tumble upon the shivering faculty, I decided that I would make a large batch of muffins for them. Not just any muffins, however; I wanted to ensure that I baked them something filled with nutrients, fruits, and warm spices to help them get through the rest of their day. It is easily forgotten how food affects the body, and I wanted to ensure I could they would have energy, not a spike and crash. Most importantly, I wanted them to know I thought they were worth the time and resources it takes to make a good soul food – resources limited to me as a student.

There is a certain serenity that I find comes with baking; I find order in the measured ingredients no matter how I may be surrounded by chaos. It as if by mixing the pure, bland ingredients that we rarely touch otherwise with the loud, exciting flavors that we crave on our palates I am reminded that a certain balance is needed in life. If I'm lacking excitement or there's too much chaos I need only wait until life comes into equilibrium to create an invigorating new essence. With school out of session, things felt out of sorts and I needed that balance once more.

My love and I came together and made a giant batch of morning glory muffins, which we soon dubbed MAFA muffins after the name of our faculty association. As he grated and I measured, we soaked up the warm sunbeams streaming through the window, grateful for the warmth even if it was just a product of the glass. We decided half the muffins would go to the picketers walking outside, while the other half would go to those answering student questions at MAFA strike headquarters. Once in the oven, the muffins filled our humble apartment with rich smells and as soon as they were done we bundled up in our winter wares and stepped outdoors.

The cold cut through us as soon as we opened the door, and our muffins were quickly frosted with a sprinkling of snow. Soon we saw the first group of profs, and as we offered our muffins and gave them our support, their smiles instantly made the trek worthwhile. They were touched that students, out of school on a Monday for the first time in ages, would spend their mornings creating solidarity; one even took a photo. The reaction was the same everywhere we went, and despite the freezing temperatures I began to feel that maybe I was getting more out of the experience than the professors. Maybe this is what doing community together is really about – sharing muffins in the cold.

The baked goods were soon gone and we quickly exchanged the empty tray for another that was full and we headed towards the indoor headquarters. There, professors greeted us with coffee, words of thanks, and an invitation to share in the food with them as we discussed the current conditions at the school causing them to strike. Sometime between one of the professors talking and my love asking a question, I realized that this is what university has been missing these past few years – a sense of belonging for both staff and students together, not as separate entities. I contemplated this as I ate a BLT that someone else had provided, wondering if maybe food was they key to bringing people together – the key to solidarity

Food is often seen solely as a necessity, something that must be consumed in order for our bodies to give us the long hours of constant energy that we demand from ourselves. We often are in such a rush that we don't allow ourselves time to break bread with loved ones at the end of the days; food is eaten in solitude rather than in the company of conversations about triumphs and struggles. There is community to be made and strengthened over a meal, yet we often opt to grab a quick fix before running out the door.

Have you ever had a moment where you shared something with a stranger with the intentions of helping them – yet at the end of the exchange you find yourself wondering if perhaps they were the ones that aided you? I left my apartment that day with the intentions of showing solidarity and support. I returned feeling as though I had a new understanding of education beyond the borders of the classroom; education one can only receive through an exchange of knowledge and experience, over food lovingly prepared by hand.

5 lessons the mountains can teach us

2014-02-05T19:57:00.001-04:00

I grew up with the mountains. My first childhood home was in a valley, nestled snugly between several nameless peaks offering plenty of forested creeks to frolic in, while my second home was on the mountainside, high above the Pacific Ocean. Living amongst their beauty has lead me to believe that there are many things the mountains have to teach us, if we only take the time to watch and listen. As important as good council is in life, sometimes we need only to return to the earth to learn what we need to know.

we must stand strong during times of adversity

Mountains consistently face threats in the form of climate change, construction, forced demolition, over-grazing and logging; yet still strong they stand, a symbol of immobility for thousands of years. When times get difficult, often our first instinct is to crumble; to curl up in bed and stay there for a while, ignoring the problems around us. However, this does not allow for betterment for either yourself nor the problem. If you can stand strong, hold fast, and face adversity and your problems head on, you will be able to find healing and determination, giving yourself hope rather than giving yourself feelings of defeat and hopelessness that come with falling down and admitting defeat.

often the most beautiful pursuits are the most dangerous

Growing up surrounded by ski hills, I often was greeted in the morning by newspaper headlines informing me of late night helicopter searches for hikers and skiers who had gone missing after venturing off trail to explore the mountain. If they were lucky enough to be found, they usually explained to the media that they simply wanted to see more of the mountain's beauty... but that the mountain's beauty was more dangerous than they had fathomed. Often the things in life that look the most attractive - be it fame, riches or power - come with pitfalls that are easy to fall into if you are not aware of their existence. It is important for you to follow your dreams, but it is even more important to be on the lookout for pits that may cause you to stumble at the top. You want to enjoy the fruits of your hard work - don't allow them to be your downfall.

it is important to provide for others

When it rains, mountains are the first to receive the life giving water - yet they do not keep it for themselves. They retain enough to sustain their flora and fauna, and then they allow the rest of the water to flow down the hills and nourish the remaining ecosystems, villages and cities. When I lived in Vancouver, I got in the habit of keeping granola bars in my purse to give to anyone who lived on the streets that was hungry. I was working at the time, so I could afford the extra little expense. A granola bar was a small amount of food to me, yet it was possible it was the only food another person would eat all day. Similarly, there are probably things that you can do in life that may take a little from your resources, but give a lot to those who are in need. If a mountain kept all the rain for itself, not only would the land below dry up - the mountain would flood from all the excess.

the best surprises often pass us by

I have been fortunate enough to drive through the Rocky Mountains several times. Each drive takes my breath away, but there have been several times where spectacular moments occurred. Not long ago, my family and I were driving on the highway when we saw a grizzly bear cub right on the side of the road, observing the cars passing it by. We drove by slowly, marveling at the organic sight. Another time, we saw bighorn sheep fighting by ramming their giant horns at each other. We pulled over and watched, listening to the sound like thunder echoing throughout the mountains. Life is like the Rockies - there are beautiful surprises waiting for you. However, they are easy to miss. If you are prone to going through life plugged in with headphones on and eyes glued to your devices, try looking up once in a while to see what you may be missing. There is beauty in the everyday.

we must adapt to change

Although mountains are often considered stationary, they are constantly changing and shifting. The Appalachian Range used to be the tallest mountain range in the world, and now the highest Appalachian is only 3,000 feet tall due to environmental factors such as erosion. Yet these mountains, though different than before, are no less beautiful. The world today is changing in faster and in different ways than ever before. New technologies are being introduced. Tragedies are occurring at constant rates. Scientific discoveries are teaching us more about our world everyday. It seems as though the only constant anymore is change itself and the insecurities that come with it. While it may seem tempting to resist all news and live dependent on the information one wants to believe is stagnant, that fear will keep one from growing as a person. The world may be changing, but if we can adapt, we too can still live well and beautifully, letting time and experience soften our hardest ridges.

6 new reasons to fall in love with tea

2014-02-02T20:04:00.000-04:00

I've always known that tea can have incredible health benefits, but a few years ago I found myself unable to find any that I enjoyed. When I was younger, my mom would make me cups of Red Rose and I got so much enjoyment out of watching the colour of the tea influsing the once clear water, straining my eyes to see how high the tendrils of steam were rising and putting my face over the cup to feel the warmth open my pores, yet as I got older, I replaced my tea with coffee. I just couldn't find any teas that were flavourful enough for me - but with the discovery of loose leaf, that all changed. Below are some of my favourites, the health benefits that each tea brings, and what they pair best with. If you don't consider yourself a tea drinker, perhaps one of these options can sway you to give it a try. All teas can be found at David's Tea or davidstea.com

Movie Night

Did you notice the pieces of popcorn in this tea? Movie night, a green tea, tastes just like a night out at the theatre. It has a base flavour of buttered popcorn and is sweetened by bits of maple and apple. Although it sounds really strange (and perhaps a little unappetizing - generally soggy pieces of popcorn are the worst), it's so incredible. Green tea is often hailed by many to be the healthiest drink on the planet, due to its high content of antioxidants and compounds that have been found to improve health and brain function and lower your risk of cancer. Movie Night is my go to tea when I'm looking for a calming, low caffeine tea and it pairs perfectly with a reflective journaling session or, of course, your favourite movie.

Pineapple Oolong

Pineapple Oolong, an oolong tea, has pieces of pineapple and apricot that create a tea that is a perfect way to enjoy summer's tastes in a winter mug. It's reminiscent of the fruit snacks that I used to trade my cookies for when I was a kid in the schoolyard, but a little less sweet and slightly more exotic. This tea also ices very well into a refreshing cold drink that could be brought to the gym. Oolong teas are known to lower the risk of heart attacks, help prevent tooth decay, and have anti-aging benefits. This tea is perfect for those cold days when all you want is a bit of summer, or for helping you control a candy craving.

Honeydew Maté

Honeydew Maté, a blend of green rooibos and yerba maté, has bits of melon in the tea that are complimented by white hibiscus blossoms. A light, juicy tea, Honeydew Maté has a ripeness to it that can only be beat by an actual melon. Yerba maté is known for its natural energy boost that will not cause you to crash (unlike coffee), while green rooibos is high in antioxidants and helps improve blood circulation. Honeydew Maté would be the perfect companion to a late night study session or a sleepy morning before work when you just can't seem to wake up.

Pumpkin Chai

Pumpkin Chai, a black tea, is probably the warmest, coziest tea I have ever had. It has pumpkin pieces, pumpkin pie spices such as cinnamon, cloves and cardamom, as well as little pumpkin candies and caramel pieces. This tea is incredible on its own, but even better in latte form topped with a bit of brown sugar. This is probably my favourite tea - its comfort in a cup. Black tea also provides plenty of health benefits, including the reduction of cortisol (stress hormones) in the body, a healthier digestive tract and a better immune system. Pumpkin Chai would be a perfect partner to a stormy night, warming you up while you catch up on a novel.

White Chocolate Frost

Drinking White Chocolate Frost, an herbal tea, is tasting all the best parts of winter. A refreshing warm drink, this tea has a peppermint leaf base with pieces of white chocolate and little peppercorns for a touch of spice. It's like a chocolate covered candy cane that one can drink all day long. Although herbal tea is technically not really a tea, peppermint tea can aide in sinus relief and is a natural remedy for stomach problems. White Chocolate Frost is a perfect drink to make after you've spent the day skating on the pond, and because it is caffeine free it will lull you to sleep rather than waking you up.

Carrot Cake

The only type tea I've duplicated on this list is oolong, and that's because I know for a fact how much an energy-providing drink can be needed throughout the day. Carrot Cake tastes like dessert in a mug - it contains pieces of carrot, coconut and apple - and I swear they must've snuck frosting into the tea somehow. The spices are a perfect compliment to the fruity bits. This tea is perfect for those nights when you're too full for dessert but still want something sweet, or for comfort after a long day.

Just a sample of my collection.. I've spent way too much on tea over the years. Oops.

The only thing that can make tea better is a favourite mug and lovely strainer.

If none of these sound appetizing enough for you, a few more of my favourites include Chocolate Chili Chai, Cookie Dough, Coffee Cake, Forever Nuts, Read My Lips and Honey Bee. I hope you've been inspired to try a few new teas - let me know in the comments what your favourite tea or warm drink is!

Coming to terms with home

2014-01-31T19:13:00.001-04:00

“I was born very far from where I belong and I am on my way home.”
For many of my teenage years, I carried this quote with my like a child carries a comfort blanket. I felt as though I did not and could not properly belong to a physical place that could entrance and encompass me – and I ran. I started becoming a chronic wanderer, from city to city, country to country, province to province. I didn't wander to travel, however; I wandered to find a home. I adopted every new town in which I inhabited a bedroom as though it was a breathing organism that could offer me comfort and answers. Every new address put more miles between myself and where I came from; even now, I have a health card for one province and a driver's license for another, despite living in a third province completely separate from the aforementioned.

When I was younger I got my energy from the city – I could feel the pulse of its people through the streets, see their triumphs through the skyscraper lights, hear their sorrows through the raindrops on cardboard boxes. Growing up in two different suburbs as the oldest child, I was never exposed much to the downtown core of Vancouver, but when I attended an adult upgrading school in my 12th grade nestled in her heartland, I felt as though a new part of me had been opened up. I spent most of my free time skateboarding along the seawall in my then regular attire of either leather pants or a leather biker jacket, walking the streets until they were embedded into me like the veins in my body, and meeting new people while learning their stories. Many of my new friends were homeless or at risk of being homeless and although this terrified my poor mother, they were some of the only people whose eyes I could meet during conversation. See, I had just gotten back from yet another home that I had made in Nashville where 6 months were spent sorting out some stories of my own. I felt as though I had to pretend my story was free of uncertainties and setbacks once I was back with the people who helped me continue when I wanted my story to end. With my new friends of Vancouver, I never had to be anything. I know now that the people who had walked alongside me all those years loved me no matter what, but at the time I was just a kid trying to learn how to walk for a second time.

I looked to the city to heal me, but the city didn't know how. I quickly began to feel lost again when I started university, and with Capilano being the 7th school in 4 years graced with my semi-present state, I felt as though it was time to move on from Vancouver and the five different homes I had occupied. So when a then-current long distance boyfriend who I had been with for a year suggested I go to school in his province, I considered it. When I was rejected from UBC, told my grades were not good enough for a second year in my program at Cap, and was urged by my grandfather to go to Mount Allison, I packed up and moved 5000 kms across the country from a city of 2 million to a town of 5000. I figured that since I had been with my now ex-boyfriend for almost 2 years at that point and enjoyed the province, I could spend a year before moving on yet again. I got accepted, and 4 months later I entered the province in which I would eventually choose to plant my roots.

That was 2.5 years ago. Since then, I've never spent more than a few weeks in Vancouver, save for one 3 month summer where I realized how I had moved on from the city just as I had moved on from the relationship that took me away from her. Concrete no longer gives me an energy rush; instead, that comes from driving on an empty highway with my love beside me and Johnny Cash singing to me through my speakers. I no longer need to connect only with the broken; although I reach out whenever possible, I've learned to make eye contact as a result I've learned a conversation with a staff at the local bookstore can lead to a wonderful friendship. There's no busy grid to internalize into my body, but hay from the neighboring farms seems to always find its way onto my clothes.

I'm 21 now, and I feel like I'm only now just coming out of the mindset of my 17 year old self, constantly looking for where I belong - for home. I just came from a summer where I ventured to another new place, with a new bedroom, in a new province – but this time, I did not go to adopt a home, for it adopted me. And when the summer was over, and I had a brand new apartment to move into back in the familiar town of Sackville, I did not leave by running away – I left it with gratitude, but most importantly, I left it looking forward to the next time I would return.

That's the thing about homes left behind. You can always return – you don't have to leave forever. Home isn't one physical location, it's not simply just the place you lay your head at night. It's a combination of all the places where you've left pieces of yourself. And once I begin life after college, first in a little Ontario town and eventually on a large New Brunswick farm, I will let my roots grow deep with migrant Maritime pride - but I will water them with saltwater from the Pacific and creekwater from the Mad River, honoring all the places I will continue to return to and refer to as home.