Since then, it seems that my whole life has changed. I’ve already written a lot about everything that has changed since last summer in my review of 2011, so I will not repeat everything again, but I want to focus on my experience with MyFitnessPal instead.

I remember hearing about MyFitnessPal from other weight loss bloggers and as I was really unhappy with Weight Watchers at this point, I decided to give it a go. I installed the MyFitnessPal app on my iPhone and signed up.

I kept my Weight Watchers online membership for the remainder of August but then canceled it, and never looked back. I spent so much money on Weight Watchers for over a year and a half, and in the end, I weighed more than I did when I signed up. Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming Weight Watchers for this, I know I would have lost weight if I’d actually stuck to the program, but it just wasn’t working for me anymore.

At first, MyFitnessPal was a bit daunting for me. I was annoyed with the huge amount of (duplicate) database entries and the fact that searching for ‘banana’ would not bring up a plain banana as the first result but a banana smoothie. I also had to enter a lot of foods that I eat seeing as the app (and website) is not available in German or very popular here, so German foods are hard to find in the database. But, once I got past that, I loved it.

MyFitnessPal is a simple but fantastic tool for tracking calories and macro nutrients, allowing you to lose weight healthily without doing a diet. (By the way, I do think that this is also possible with Weight Watchers.) In my opinion, that is the best way to lose weight and keep it off in the long run. I am so glad not to be on a diet, no foods are off limits for me, I just make sure that the majority of my calorie intake is made up of healthy food.

I think MyFitnessPal so easy to use, I love having a website and an app to enter food (something that I was missing with WW seeing as they took until December 2011 to come out with an iPhone app in Germany), and I love the support network that it comes with. I have met a bunch of great people on MyFitnessPal who support me every day, and even a couple of good friends.

I think that without them, I would not have done as well, as they keep me accountable day in and day out. I know that I have made huge progress in exercising will power but I do think that there have been a few moments that I probably would have eaten a few things if I hadn’t known that I’d have to log them and answer for them later. Of course, always provided that I log honestly and don’t leave off anything, but honesty to myself and others is a prerequisite for losing weight, in my opinion.

Six months ago, I doubted that I would ever make it this far. I didn’t really see myself weighing quite a bit under 80 kg, well, because I had never managed to get there on any of the other attempts since I first lost weight in 2005/06. I didn’t think I’d be running 10 km any time soon. And I would have never dreamed of becoming a person who would go out for a run in -9C. In a way, I have changed so much in the past six months. But I am still me. I did this.

After six months of logging at MyFitnessPal, I have lost 20.7 kg (45.6 lbs). My BMI has gone from 33.7 (obese) to 26.54 (overweight), and I only have another 4.5 kg to lose before I am no longer overweight. I have dropped a couple of sizes and I have become so much fitter and stronger, working out 4–5 times a week on average. I am a much happier person now than I was in August, I feel a lot more comfortable in my body and more self-confident. I am more active and a lot healthier. I am not giving MyFitnessPal credit for that, as I did this, so I think I deserve the credit for my weight loss – but I do think that MyFitnessPal is a great tool that made it all possible. I don’t think I would have done as well without it.

At a company meeting a couple of months ago, the CEO of my company brought up an idea. The wife of our janitor is a cook, and she offered to cook for us for lunch. Like a very small cafeteria, there would be two meals to choose from every day against a fee to cover her costs. The CEO also suggested that the company would cover part of the cost. It sounded like a great idea … for most people.
For me, giving someone else control over my meals is not an option. When you know what a difference a tablespoon of butter or olive oil make, you want to know exactly what is in the meal you are having every day for lunch.

And while this woman may be a professional cook, she is also an older woman from small town Bavaria. If you know traditional Bavarian food, you know that it wouldn’t be your first choice when trying to lose weight. I have my doubts that her meals would really be that healthy. I do think that for some of my co-workers (especially the guys) who live on a pizza, doner, and chicken diet, it would be a huge improvement. But for someone like me who is already very aware of what they are eating, it wouldn’t be that much of a beneit. I’d rather keep control over what I eat, knowing the exact ingredients and nutritional value of my meals.

Even though in the past few weeks, I have been slacking off a little with cooking lunch meals for work, and have bought microwave dinners at the grocery store a little too frequently, I still make good choices, always aware of the nutrition facts and choosing the healthier microwave dinner over another.

During the company meeting, I felt a little odd. I felt like the CEO was talking about me. Despite how open I am about my weight loss, when someone asks me about it, I noticed that it is still a sensitive topic for me. When someone talks about poor nutrition or unhealthy food, I feel like they are talking about me. It makes no sense because for the past six months, my diet has probably been better than that of most of my co-workers but in the end, I am the one who is overweight. My co-workers may eat crap all day, but they are skinny. I know that often people mistake skinny for healthy.

This company meeting happened in November, and I think my attitude has changed a litte since then. I realized that it is far more likely that the CEO was not referring to me when he mentioned unhealthy eating habits. But I sometimes worry that people cannot see past my appearance or will always remember me for how I ate during my first six months working there. Because, let’s face it, my diet was not good at all for a while.

Another thought I had with regard to this idea is to wonder if it is within the CEO’s right to suggest that a lot of his employees have a poor diet and that we eat more healthily. Of course he has an interest in our health, and many of us would benefit from this, but at the same time it is each person’s private business what they put into their mouth. Do you think he was overstepping boundaries?

How do you handle lunches at work? Do you have a cafeteria you eat at or do you bring your own lunch to work?

I realized that this had happened before. I also realized that the other time this had happened, I was out grocery shopping with the same friend as this time. I do think that part of it was that we went to a store I usually do not shop at as it is not possible to get to with a car, a much larger store with a much bigger selection of candy & co. Another reason was that I spent a lot more time browsing the shelves, usually I will not spend that much time on grocery shopping as I often get it done during my lunch break or right after work.

But I also think that there was something else to it. My friend bought a lot of snack type food for herself and her family, and I think part of me thought that if it’s okay for her to buy this type of food, it it okay for me do to the same. Like her buying chips, candy, etc. gave me permission to buy candy as well.

It’s much easier to say no when you are by yourself or everyone around you is also saying no. It’s so much harder to say no to the candy isle, when the person you are shopping with is saying “yes, yes, yes!”

I also think that in some weird, twisted way, I bought the snacks to show her that I was still allowing myself to eat everything, that I was eating normally and not depriving myself. Proof that I was still having “fun,” that I was no different from her or others. I think that I don’t like standing out as the one eating or buying “diet food” in the company of others.
I know this friend since May, so she has been one of the people who has noticed (and commented on) my weight loss the most. She recently made an off-handed comment that she’d prefer to lose weight slowly but in a sustainable way. As if that is not what I am doing.

For me, recognizing this pattern was huge. I think that it’s essential to recognize the reasons for a habit if you want to change it. And the fact that I made this realization shows me that I am making progress.

I first got the 30 Day Shred DVD in 2008 or 2009. I did it on and off for a few times but I never went further than Level 1. This winter, I rediscovered the workout and as boring as it can be, I really appreciate it for what it is: a demanding full-body workout that is done within 25 minutes.

About a week ago, after doing the 30 Day Shred for three days in a row, I decided that I would give doing it for 30 days straight a shot.

I knew that it would be demanding, seeing how I also wanted to run two times a week, and would have Zumba and belly dance classes starting up in February. Yes, belly dance. More on that in a different post.

Today, I am 11 days into the 30 Day Shred, and I can definitely feel an improvement, especially in strength. The cardio intervals were never too much of a struggle for me being that I run and do Zumba already, but the strength and abs intervals, oh my!

I did Level 1 for ten days and I could feel it getting easier and easier with every workout. Yesterday, I started Level 2. I had never done it before, and I really enjoyed it, though I struggled with all the plank exercises. But it is definitely a whole new challenge compared to Level 1.

Between the 30 Day Shred, and a run, a swim, and Zumba, I think this week was my most active week since I started this new lifestyle in August. I definitely felt the exhaustion after Thursday, which was my most active day, so I took a rest day on Friday.

I know how important rest is, and that was the one thing bugging me about the 30 Day Shred. When I decided to take a rest day on Friday, after ten days of Level 1, I also decided to do the same after finishing Level 2. While I love a challenge and know how good it is for me, both physically and mentally, I don’t want to overdo it or risk injury.

After Christmas, I had struggled with exercising regularly a little, especially with running in the winter weather, so I think this was just what I needed. I feel so much better when I exercise and I know that it is so good for my body too. I love how it only takes 25 minutes for me to get in a fully satisfying workout that consists of both cardio and strength training. It seems little time for a full-body workout.

Yesterday I even got up at 7:30am (on a Saturday!) to go for a swim. I never thought I would choose a workout over sleep, and I like this new me. It was so nice to be back home at 10:30 and have already gotten in a workout. I did the 30 Day Shred a couple hours later and then enjoyed the rest of my Saturday without having to worry about when to fit in the time for a workout.

Have you ever done the 30 Day Shred? Do you enjoy it? Which level is your favorite?

I am not a big fan of new year’s resolutions, because let’s face it, most are forgotten by the time February rolls around, but nevertheless I have a few goals for this year that I am going to continue to work on.

• Kick my insulin resistance: I have a little over a month left of taking the Metformin. After that, I am on my own with the weight loss. I am positive that I will keep losing weight. Six months later, after keeping off the weight and continuing my healthy diet, I am going to take the OGTT again to find out if my insulin resistance is gone. I am confident that my hard work will pay off and the IR will be gone by August.
• Reach my goal weight: I have a little over 13 kg to lose and I would love to get to my goal weight within the first half of 2012. I am not going to stress over it, though. If it takes longer, then that’s okay too. I am confident that 2012 will be the year I finally make it to 65 kg.
• Continue a healthy diet: I have improved my diet so much over the past few months. Though I have phases in which I slack off a little, such as lately, I am going to keep up my healthy eating. Even though it takes a certain amount of dedication, time, and planning, it is worth it. I know how important it is for my health in general and my insulin resistance in specific.
• Keep up the running: I am going to keep running. I want to run at least 2-3 10k races in 2012 and start building up to longer distances as well as improve my pace. During the winter, my main focus is to maintain my endurance and once the weather improves, I want to up my running and follow a training plan again.
• Get fitter: I have worked hard on my fitness level, and have managed to average 3-5 workouts a week throughout the past five months. For my standards, this is quite frankly outstanding. I want to keep this up and become even fitter and stronger. I feel so much better and everything is so much easier when I am fit.
• Work on my confidence and self image: I feel so much better about myself than I did five months ago. I am more confident and I like my reflection in the mirror a lot better, I am even at a point where I almost like my body, but there are still plenty of issues I need to work on. I am more confident, but overall, I am still not a very confident person and when I allow myself, I get consumed by negative feelings about myself. I don’t think this is an issue that will magically disappear once I am “thin” so it is something I need and want to work on.
• Eliminate bad habits: I successfully managed to stop biting my nails and haven’t since August. I don’t get the urge to bite anymore, either, so I am confident that I have kicked this habit for good. There are a couple of other bad habits I want to work on in 2012, though. One is to cut down on diet coke. I have been working on this on and off for months, and I have had weeks that I did quite well, but lately I have been back to drinking a lot of it again, especially at work. Another is to cut down on the amount of chocolate and candy I eat. Also something that was much better a few months ago, as I have been slacking off a little. I am never going to cut out chocolate or candy for good, but I need to do better than I have lately.

What are your goals for 2012?

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
- Margaret Thatcher

2011 was a year of ups and downs for me, in terms of weight loss and health. I had lost quite a bit of weight between August and December 2010 when I started my first full-time job after university in mid-January. After that, I quickly gained back all the weight I had lost and a few kilos on top of that.

In June, I found out that I had PCOS – explaining all the symptoms I had been experiencing since I went off birth control in October 2010 (a very irregular cycle, acne). About a month after finding out about the PCOS, I was also diagnosed with insulin resistance. While I knew I was to blame for most of my weight gain, i.e., my lack of activity and eating too much junk food at work and at home, the insulin resistance must’ve played a role as well.

August is when I everything changed. I started taking Metformin, and I decided that if I was going to take a medication like that, I would do my best that I wouldn’t have to take it for long. I decided to try something new and signed up for MyFitnessPal. Probably one of the best decisions I made in 2011. At the end of August, I canceled my Weight Watchers Online subscription, and I never looked back.

Since August, I have been using MyFitnessPal to count calories, journal my food and my exercise. And I’ve made a few new friends too. I have come to really appreciate the support network that MFP, or rather other MFP members, provide and I love the clean interface of both the MFP website and the iPhone app.

I also had two appointments with a nutritionist in the fall. She gave me some very helpful tips and also reassured me that I was already doing very well. My 3-month check-up, roughly three months after I got my RI diagnosis and started taking the Metformin, went very well, and I got praised by my endocrinologist for having lost so much weight already.

It’s been nearly five months since I joined MFP and started exercising regularly again. Five months since I turned my life around.

On August 3, I weighed 97.4 kg. Probably my highest weight of all times. Since then, I’ve lost 19 kg – putting me at 78.4 kg at my most recent weigh-in this morning, my lowest weight of recent years.

At some point in the fall, I set myself a goal of getting to under 80 kg by the end of the year. I made it. At my last weigh-in of 2011, I weighed 78.6 kg.

I also started running again and have made huge progress since then. I started fresh with Couch to 5K in August and ran a 5k race in October. Unlike all the other times I had done C25K, I didn’t stop running, though, when I finished the program this time, but I kept running following a 10K plan by Jane Wake. Two months later, I ran my first 10K (race) ever.

Now that 2012 has begun, I can say that 2011 was a really successful year for me. After a rough patch – that lasted 7 months, hah – I turned it all around and I can honestly say that I am in a much better place now, in terms of weight, fitness, physical and mental health.

Here’s to continuing on this journey and making 2012 even better!

On December 3rd, I ran my first 10k, the Nikolauslauf in Munich. It wasn’t just my first 10k race, it was also the first time I ran a whole 10k distance. My longest run until then had been about 7k a little over a week earlier, and it was actually during that run that I decided to participate in the 10k. I had found out about the race a couple of days before and while part of me really wanted to do it, the other part said, ‘you’re not ready,’ and ‘you’re not going to be in Munich that weekend anyway.’

All that changed during my training run on November 23rd. It was a great run and I realized after 7 km that I could have kept running for a while longer. I decided that I was ready to run a 10k, and that I would spend the weekend in Munich just to do the race. I realized that if I wasn’t going to do a 10k race now, it might be months until I do one, because I knew I would have waited till spring. So that night I signed up for the race. I finished my running program by Jane Wake just in time and it all worked out perfectly.

The Olympic Tower in Munich

The race took place in the Olympic Park in Munich, where I had run my very first 5k race in 2009. I got there a few hours early to pick up my race bib and chip at the Olympic Swimming Pool.

Handing out bibs, chips & Santa hats

Afterward, I just stayed at the pool, watching the swimmers. At some point a girl came up to me and asked if we knew each other because I seemed so familiar to her. I couldn’t place her but I’m really bad with faces so it wasn’t surprising. Turns out we both studied in Heidelberg. I spent the rest of the time chatting with her and her boyfriend who were also doing the race.

Me before the race started

The race itself started at 3pm and it went really well. I started out a bit fast (a 7:09 pace on km 1) but quickly noticed (my Runkeeper app tells me my time, distance and pace every 5 minutes – so useful!) and slowed down to a pace I was more likely to keep up throughout the race.

The race was St. Nicholas themed, so everyone got a Santa hat to wear during the race

I ran the entire 10k with just one short walking break to drink something after 5k. The weather was really nice for running, 7C and overcast, though it was a bit windy. Really lucky considering it’s December. I was so pleased with my result. I had hoped to finish in under 1:20 but after my last two runs – which weren’t that great – had ‘re-adjusted’ my expectations to finish between 1:20 and 1:30. I managed to make my goal after all.

Ready to start running

There were two short inclines on the course, but as it was a 5k course and we did two laps, there were 4 inclines, one halfway between km 4 and 5 (and km 9 and 10) and that last incline just about killed me on the second lap. I didn’t give up though, I knew I was not even 5 minutes from the finish line, I wasn’t going to start walking now, no way!

A weird experience was to be overlapped by the fastest runners between km 3 and 4. The winner finished in 32:13, I cannot even imagine running that fast.

I was glad once I started the second 5k lap because it meant no more runners overlapping me – I liked being able to run by myself. I also felt fantastic after I finished the first half, because I knew I would finish the 10k – I had struggled a little bit on the first 2-3km, then after the first 5k I felt this energy boost, I almost cried I was so happy (and promptly felt really silly for getting so emotional), felt really strong for km 6-8, and then struggled a bit on km 9 and 10. Well, until today my longest run had been 7km so it’s no surprise.

I am so very pleased with my result, even though I was the next-to-last to finish. This is a huge achievement for me and I’m so proud I did so well. I honestly cannot think of a single thing that went wrong during this race.

Just two months earlier, I had run a 5k in 42:52 (pace: 8:34) – on December 3rd, I ran a 10k in 1:18:08 (pace: 7:48) – I doubled my distance and improved my pace by almost a minute.

The mug I got for finishing

Unfortunately, I didn’t find any official pictures of me running, probably because I was much slower than most of the runners, and the photographers didn’t wait around for the last few runners, but I did get a video of me crossing the finish line!

It’s absolutely perfect for a day when you are struggling, having a hard time or doubting yourself. Be sure to watch it.