Not A Model

Not A Model Weekly Mantra - Slow Down

2013-05-21T09:02:00.005-04:00

Slow down. Do less. Act like an ant climbing up a stalk of celery. Relish in the nothing. Act like a child on summer vacation.

This week's mantra is all about savouring some kind of moment. Time seems to race by, even when the weather scorches and the backyards fill with friends. There is no way to stop it, so we might as well enjoy it.

“That is my problem with life, I rush through it, like I'm being chased. Even things whose whole point is slowness, like drinking relaxing tea. When I drink relaxing tea I suck it down as if I'm in a contest for who can drink relaxing tea the quickest.” - Miranda July

Everyday Beauty - Nicole

2013-05-16T09:42:00.001-04:00

If Katie Holmes and Kate Middleton ran at blazing speed and morphed into each other, it would result in Nicole. (In my celebrity-hybrid opinion).

A recent art history graduate, Nicole spends her days working at an art gallery in Toronto’s Distillery District. Despite her title as a “gallery girl” she is nothing like that Bravo reality show with the same moniker.

With alabaster skin and golden eyes, she is undoubtedly a classic beauty. While I don't like dropping people into categories (what does "classic beauty" even mean, and who does it exclude?), it's hard to get past her striking appearance and stature. However, the moment she speaks, it is clear that her gregarious personality and warm laugh could easily make a King, or that boy across the lake fall in love with her.

Below are photos from our shoot in the Distillery District. Enjoy!

New Weekly Mantra - Ready or not

2013-05-15T14:25:00.001-04:00

Some people make decisions conditionally.

If X happens, I will do Y, or I can't do A because of B, C, D and E.

While this blog post isn't a formulaic math test, sometimes the waiting until we are ready for something may never be so. I have many areas of my life that I condition decisions upon based on the arbitrary idea that I'll know when I become "ready." It's not like one day you wake up and a stamp appears on your forehead, smudged and bright green declaring the word, START. Sometimes you have to make a move before.

Below is this week's Not A Model mantra. Ready, set...

"It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any." - Hugh Laurie

Healthy Reading & Spring Running

2013-05-15T14:25:00.000-04:00

It's time to shed.

Spring and the onslaught of summer brings a renewed focus on the body and on life. While January may think it's king for health resolutions, I believe the forcible shedding of everything heavy (comfort food, parkas) reflects the health ideal. The body (at least my body) craves lighter fare and increased movement.

I've recently started upon a new running path by the water that drastically has improved my mood on the city that I live in. While Ray Charles may have had Georgia on his mind, most people know that New York is always on my mine. However, through running by the lake, I've discovered a new found appreciation for Toronto and its beauty. I haven't felt better about this city in months.

I enjoy healthy living as much as I enjoy healthy reading. I also have a desire to become a nutritionist one day or a fitness instructor. Dreams be dreams. Until then, below are my favourite health blogs and websites. Enjoy!

Sprouted Kitchen - Husband and wife, Hugh and Sara show the world their spin on whole foods, through stunning photography and decadently healthy recipes. They also have a cookbook and a cult-fan following that will leave you craving unique recipes like Kale and Slivered Brussel Sprout Soba Noodles.

Chalkboard Mag - Chalkboard mag is the online magazine/blog of Pressed Juicery, a juicing company from California. Their blog features tons of daily content including health recipes, recommendations for natural beauty products, superfoods and how to spot toxic ingredients. My favourite posts are from their guest-editors who range from Jamie Oliver to Amanda De Cadenet.

Thug Kitchen - Writing about healthy eating doesn't have to be prim. Thug Kitchen takes the tough love approach through hilarious posts and unadulterated swearing about food. Their latest post for Guacamole states, "Can't cook, then mash motherf****" (Avoid this blog if easily offended)

The Wellness Warrior - Australian writer Jessica Ainscough was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 22. Since then, she reevaluated her life of partying, drinking and drugs and decided to get well. Her blog is mix of nutritional posts (she's a holistic health coach) and inspirational ones. She also writes about how one's mind can affect their overall being. Positive thinking and living plays a large part on this blog, and I quite enjoy it.

Chatelaine.com - Chatelaine has easily become my favourite Canadian magazine for decor, recipes and lifestyle. As I get older, it seems that Chatelaine's re-branding aligns perfectly with my calmer direction in life. Their online page boasts tons of recipes, health tips and interesting recommendations from doctors and nutritionists.

Everyday Beauty - Julia

2013-05-15T14:24:00.000-04:00

While it is no secret that I love New York, a large reason for my reoccurring trips is to visit Brooklyn dweller, fellow Italian suburban expat and best lady pal Julia.

Julia's beauty lies in her compassion for others. This past year she lopped off her hair for cancer, and travelled to Rwanda to conduct eye exams. She's incredibly smart, (occupation: optometrist) but also street smart (read: a Jedi master of the New York City transit system). If you meet her in person she'll either squeeze you with a hug, or excitedly shake your hand - all while welcoming you into her space.

On a physical level, her smile makes you feel like you should try smiling more in case you look that good by association; while her short do accentuates her delicate features and cheekbones, without a lick of makeup. She's like a pint of champagne - all effervescent and bubbly, without the ornamental stemware.

Besides, she prefers to ask what's on tap anyways.

Below is the shoot, taken in Bryant Park. Enjoy! x

Everyday Beauty - Naho

2013-05-08T09:35:00.003-04:00

You know those people, who sit around and gossip and complain the whole time you hang out with them and when you leave, you feel depleted and irritated?

Hanging out with Naho, or Na (as I affectionately call her) is the complete opposite of that.

Being around her is like doing a yoga class, while day-drinking in the sunshine, while laughing at a hilarious movie, while drinking your favourite cup of coffee, well..you get the idea. You feel happy and energized because she has good energy. The kind of energy that spills out and makes you want to be a more positive, outgoing and happier person. (I rarely have met enough people like this). When I moved the New York, she made the effort to take me around during the day on her days off because she knew I didn't know many people.

While she may be small, she is the mightiest. She's originally from California, has been on exchange to Australia, has parents who live in Hawaii and now lives in Brooklyn. She furiously bikes across the Brooklyn Bridge into Manhattan, where she weaves through gridlock traffic and pedestrians with ease and control. Do you EVEN know how hard that is? She has a kind, welcoming face with graceful features, and hair that is always spun and pinned, and arranged in a way that can't quite be duplicated; not that she would want anyone to.

You see, she embraces being different in a way that only makes people want to be just like her. In any case, we're all better for just knowing her.

Below are some photos (I forced her to take) when we went for coffee before one of my flights back home. Enjoy! x

Not A Model Mantra - Life Moves On

2013-05-07T09:04:00.003-04:00

What does it mean to run away from your life?

To some, running away can entail: moving around too often, flash-pan dating, travelling too extensively and never finding roots. Restlessness can be perceived as a way to detach from day-to-day life.

However, I've been learning that whether you sit inside every day or meet a new city every night, time will still pass. Days can feel like a fresh flight or a long stall, but they will always continue to sweep forward. And if time passes the same way, shouldn't we embrace the so-called running? The open mind? The passionate pull?

This week's mantra is as follows.

"Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such." Henry Miller

photo credit: Prospect Park, Brooklyn. April 2013

Spring in New York - Not A Model Travel Diary

2013-05-01T08:59:00.000-04:00

This trip to New York was the most confusing because of the season. The warmth of spring felt almost like summer, minus the humidity and bareness of the bod. It felt the most like old times compared to my fall and winter visits.

Upon my arrival we floated up to the roof to drink beermosas (exactly what it sounds like) and we all chattered about the gaps of information and anecdotes that you don't get via distance communication.

I discovered that in Greenpoint you will find a secret Thai restaurant in the basement of a bar. And only there will you inform your friend while she heads to the bathroom that you absolutely need to order dumplings, right now, at 1:30 a.m., before you head to the next place.

During the day, we ate pizza like we were in Naples, but more like the West Village. I also took Jules to my favourite secret (or not so secret) surf shop turned cafe patio that I used to frequent on my weekdays off in the summer. Ridiculously attractive surfer males, included. Always.

The weather brought Motown singers expanding their lungs on the sidewalk streets, and pink litter from cherry blossoms that reminded me of confetti from a church wedding.

Just like any other city that experiences the brunt of the four seasons, spring forces everyone back outside to rejuvenate and in my case, reunite.

Below is my first photo diary of spring 2013 in NYC. Enjoy! x

Weekly Mantra - Tina Fey

2013-04-30T09:11:00.000-04:00

credit: http://stereogum.com

When it comes to self-deprecation, no one does it better than Tina Fey.

She can make fun of herself with an ease and cleverness that makes people laugh, instead of pity her.

Her memoir, Bossypants, features a chapter on beauty, where she discusses all of the items she does not like about her physical appearance.

The list is long and comical, but at the end she explains that she would keep all of her negative features (including a random roll of back fat).

"I would not trade any of these features for anybody else's. I wouldn't trade the small thin lipped mouth that makes me resemble my nephew. I wouldn't even trade the acne scar on my right cheek, because that recurring zit spent more time with me in college than any boy did."

It is clear that many people can list out how many features they hate about themselves, but have you ever heard someone say they wouldn't trade their x, y or z for something better?

When it comes to personal image, there is self-deprecation and there is self-acceptance and the balance between the two makes all the difference.

A Note to the Weekend..

2013-04-26T08:48:00.003-04:00

I purchased the vintage tumblers (above) at a thrift shop in Chicago.

Usually I don’t go for the home section when in a thrift shop, but the moment I saw this pair I had to have them. The price (2 for $10?!) was ridiculous, and they featured real images from The New York Times! THE FREAKING TIMES, also known as my favourite newspaper.

Currently they are just used for decoration, but one day I’d like to imagine pouring homemade gin cocktails in them while griping about a long day. As the glasses clink I will toast, “Cin Cin” pronounced, chin chin) as Italians say.

But for now, let's toast to the weekend.

To the end of April, apparently as T.S. Eliot said, the most cruel of months. To sleeping in and languid breakfasts. To positivity. To bottomless cups of coffee and sunlight slicing through scattered blinds. To immense gratitude. To my amazing cousin Diane who celebrates her 30th birthday today and to New York, where I will be spending this weekend visiting good friends and favourite hangouts.

To keep in touch, follow me here, here & here. Be back soon! x

To Read: Me Before You

2013-04-25T09:07:00.002-04:00

When my cousin Laura urgently texted me that I absolutely had to grab "the best book she's ever read," I had my reservations.

Laura tends to exaggerate (she once called to tell me the best movie of the year was Leap Year) but she's genuinely earnest in her recommendations. Note: her exaggerations lend to the funniest dinner table stories you will ever hear.

I heard about Jojo Moye's Me Before You before she referenced it, so I curiously went over to the nearest bookstore that day to purchase it. I texted her while in line, this better be good.

Fast-forward barely a week later, and my texts went from skeptic to believer. I found myself staying up late to read, and eagerly waiting to get back to it.

The book tells the story of Lou Clark, a sheltered homebody with a seriously boring boyfriend and small town family who becomes the caretaker of paraplegic Will Traynor. Will used to be a high-powered, adventurous businessman until an accident changed his life.

The result? Well, I won't give anything away, but if you find yourself craving an addicting read that will provoke some hard questions on what it means to be alive and what it means to love, you'll enjoy it. Be warned that it's not the easiest read and it may leave you feeling emotional. The one guarantee? You won't be able to put it down. Notable quote: "Just live well. Just live.”

Oh, and don't ever watch Leap Year.

New Weekly Mantra - On Handwritten Thoughts

2013-04-24T21:48:00.001-04:00

There is something I deeply treasure about handwritten cards.

While getting 300 text messages can be equally as thrilling, there is something about reading the loops and swirls of a person's penmanship that lights me up. To the messages that recall 100 memories or the simple well-wishes, there is a traditional simplicity in the gesture. A consistency each year.

Last week, I ruminated about years gone and years to come; about self-reflection and personal growth. It was only afterwards that I realized that another year isn't just a reminder about yourself. It's about the accumulation of people over the course of a life.

For friends that I've known since I was 11, to people that I met last year; to a family so large and thoughtful that I really take for granted that not everyone has this kind of love around them. I realized through my gatherings (dinner parties, family dinners, extended family lunches) that the best gift I can give to the world and myself is daily gratitude.

This week's mantra (albeit a bit saccharine) is as follows:

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust

No matter what your position in life, practice being grateful. Count the people you care about (whether the number is 3 or 30) and silently thank the world that you have them. Better yet, write them a card (oh howwww cheesy, you may think) but it's not. Send them a card thanking them for being there. Send them the loops and swirls of your hand and pay it forward.

Or send a text. Just remember.

Everyday Beauty - Ali

2013-04-24T21:48:00.000-04:00

I originally met Ali when I was volunteering at the PR agency she works at. Since then I've run into her at beauty events and recently noticed on social media that she was into making jewelry.

By making jewelry I don't mean tying beads on a string (not that there is anything wrong with that) but she was into casting, polishing and blowtorch melting her own creations. It all started when she noticed a gap in the Canadian shopping market. She wanted to buy quality jewelry (aka not $6, and won't break or rust) but she also didn't want to spend a fortune. This sparked her to take a local jewelry making class to see if she could make her own. And she could. That one class turned into courses and she now rents out a studio with other artists in Toronto to make her line.

Despite being the long-lost sister of Olivia Wilde (Am I right?!) Ali's beauty does not just rest in her celery-hued eyes or incandescent skin, although it is quite distracting. That is only the surface.

She has a strong sense of self. She's calm and passionate about her work and her life. She works hard, long hours (I know as we share the same industry) but still uses her extra time (as if anyone has any of that) to work on her designs. She even created a wedding ring for a couple in Australia. Her jewelry is classic, beautiful and has that extra bit of care, exactly like her.

I love meeting people who are interested in making new things, solving problems and living creatively. It's the real secret to beauty, I believe.

To check out Ali's creations and get in touch with her, click here, here and here. x

Weekly Mantra - Abusing the Present & Getting Older

2013-04-16T08:55:00.000-04:00

It's somehow a couple of days away from my birthday.

Around this time of year, there is always two visions: looking back and looking ahead. What happened last year? What do I hope for another one? My birthday falls in the spring, the season of forced renewal. As another year passes for me this week, I will wake up and feel the same. I'll look the same, dress the same and act the same, but upon closer inspection I'll realize that I'm not the same at all. People may stress me out with their perceived notion of what it means to be my new age, and others may marvel at how much time I have to figure it out. Either way, I vow to embrace the day and move ahead with some sort of adult grace.

This week's mantra comes from Susan Sontag and focuses on growing up, even if your birthday is not fast-approaching.

"The fear of becoming old is born of the recognition that one is not living now the life that one wishes. It is equivalent to a sense

of abusing the present."

*Also, with the recent tragedy at the Boston marathon, gratitude for health, safety and loved ones is more important than frivolous stress on age. Noted.

The Facial Bar - Beauty

2013-04-11T08:05:00.000-04:00

I've only had one facial in my life. It was a gift from my friends when I was 16, and it left me looking like a bad burn victim. While I've heard many wonderful things about facials since then (oxygen, aromatherapy) I don't have the bank account to afford that luxury right now. (And I'd rather get a massage).

Here at Not A Model, I like sharing products that I've found (this is not a paid endorsement) that work, and don't hurt skinny wallets.

TRY: Eggwhite Soap!

Soap? You mean a bar of soap for my face? Yes!

This Belgian Eggwhite soap is a facial in a bar. It's infused with chamomile flowers, and leaves your face slick like a varnished porcelain plate. I have used real egg whites on my skin for blemishes because of their natural extracting quality and this is just like that, but minus the slimy mess. Also, I'm a sucker for vintage packaging. Could those girls be any cuter?

For around $12, it gives your face serious spring cleaning without the commitment. I bought mine in-store here, but you can also purchase your own online here.

Weekly Mantra - Inaction Is A Choice

2013-04-09T09:17:00.000-04:00

I was chatting with a friend about taking action, creating change and leap frog leaping, when I immediately gave 50 reasons why taking action and making choices isn't necessary. Sometimes it's best just to let things be.

While I rationalized my thoughts ~~fears~~, she told me that my inaction was also a choice. I was confused. Isn't inaction just remaining in your present state? Isn't it just living the same way you always have? That's not really choosing.

No, she said. You are still making a choice, instead it is one to not act. Inaction is a choice.

It's like this: there is an orange and a banana on the table and you are so agonized by the nutritional value of Vitamin C versus potassium that you believe that by not eating either, you haven't made a decision at all. However, not choosing is a choice in itself. (Note: this fruit example is mine, not hers)

While this was something that flickered a thousand fireflies in my head, this may be common to most. Duh, Amanda, not choosing is indeed choosing. What planet are you from? The consequences of inaction are rumbling around my world today and I am reevaluating the reasons behind inaction - from safety to comfort to fear. For a more eloquent example than oranges vs. bananas, see below for this week's mantra. Enjoy! x

“The most ominous of fallacies - the belief that things can be kept static by inaction” - Freya Stark

News! Not A Model Joins Style List Canada

2013-04-05T08:02:00.001-04:00

Hey all, I wanted to announce that I have been selected by the newly launched Style List Canada to be one of their Style Council Contributors. I am grateful for the opportunity to be part of this team of Canadian female bloggers. There is a quick interview on the site (as seen below) that you may read here if interested.

Happy Weekend! x

Weekly Mantra - On Comparing Yourself to Others

2013-04-04T07:56:00.000-04:00

To compare one's life to others is akin to self-inflicted torture. Why? Because there will always be someone who has more, does more, looks better, acts funnier and lives smarter.

As I tip off of my early twenties into my later twenties, I can't help but compare every aspect of my life to other people my age. When I spiral into a "I have no time to do anything complex," I retract, refocus and realize that LIFE ISN'T SOME WEIRD COMPETITION WHERE WE JUMP AROUND IN POTATO SACKS RACING TO THE SAME ARBITRARY FINISH LINE.

It's sort of like my favourite guilty pleasure, The Bachelor. I've watched almost every season, wrote essays on the show in university and I always come to the same conclusion: how can 25 women all like the same man? It's impossible. The only reason they like him is become it's a race, a contest, a competition; they want to win a prize.

So instead of being like a bachelor contestant and trying to achieve some sort of twenty-something prize, I'm going to go at my own pace and figure out some sort of path that makes sense for me.

This week's mantra is a bit late, as I've been sick all week with a wicked virus that has left me overdosed on tea and Gilmore Girls. (Has there ever been a cooler TV mom than Lorelai?!) The below mantra emphasizes the importance of understanding that just because people share the same age, doesn't mean they have to share the same life:

"Anyone who imagines that all fruits ripen at the same time as the strawberries knows nothing about grapes.” Paracelsus

Travel Diaries - Part II - Chicago

2013-03-28T08:56:00.000-04:00

Always travel with people who get you.

Stef and I both understand that we don't like speaking to each other until we've had coffee or breakfast. We also like to over-indulge on vacation; no side-salads here. We also don't want to be around the touristy, crowded places of a city the entire time.

After hanging out in The Loop, Stef and I realized that business districts aren't necessarily our weekend style. You wouldn't catch us strolling around Bay St. in Toronto with an Americano in hand on a Saturday afternoon.

So we asked around for a less shiny place to hang out for the day and most people told us to head over to Bucktown. Though it has a rather unfortunate name, Bucktown was just what we were looking for.

It had cafes, vintage boutiques, parks and friendly locals. We were recommended to a cafe called The Wormhole where we finally got a proper caffeine fix. We then proceeded to walk down the street for deep dish pizza the size of our faces, also recommended by friendly folks.

The latter half of the trip we visited The Art Institute of Chicago where we saw the Picasso exhibit. We also went to a 1920s speakeasy and jazz bar which I loved. On the last day we found a Mangolia bakery and stuffed our faces with cupcakes, after stuffing our brains with all that culture.

Below are the photos. Credit: Stef & myself. Enjoy!

Travel Diaries - Chicago

2013-03-27T09:10:00.002-04:00

"I just want to see THE BEAN," I said.

That was my main draw to go to Chicago, and the fact that I'm always up for a weekend getaway to a new city. I was told only good things from friends about the windy city (which apparently has to do with hot air from politicians not just Lake Michigan winds).

While most people drone on about the architecture in Chicago, once you arrive you realize they really aren't droning. From door handles to street lights, to sculptural entrances - there is careful detail in every single building. We stayed in The Loop, also known as Chicago's downtown business core and within 30 minutes of arriving we found Cloud Gate, aka THE BEAN! Definitely a highlight of the trip. We also took an afternoon river cruise of the city where we learned about the historical background behind the famous skylines. As we froze to death on the boat, (not a good idea in March) all I could notice was a lack of excess. Chicago doesn't clutter you with flash, or bang you over the head with frills. Everything is streamlined. All streets are wide. All alleys clean.

Below are some photos from day one. Note: I felt like a photography intern on this trip, learning from a master. Stef probably wanted to hurt me each time I asked her about my exposure, ISO or F-stop, but she didn't show it. I've just learned how to shoot manually (thanks to her) and I love the feeling of creating a better shot.

Photo credit to Stef for most of the ones below (including the awesome black and white shots) and some are by me. Part II to come! Enjoy x

Weekly Mantra - The Don't Do

2013-03-26T08:00:00.000-04:00

The difference between children and adults is a strong sense of obligation.

Children bluntly tell their parents what they don't want to do. Parents on the other hand, force their children to understand responsibility in the face of resistance. Finish your broccoli. Don't quit piano lessons. Kids usually still protest for the most part, because they know the feeling of loving something and loathing something. Somewhere along the way, the child grows up and the intense pursuit of passion (for some) is replaced with the guilt of responsibility.

I find that an excess of obligation as an adult can lead to participating in too many things that one does not enjoy. It is no longer about the personal pursuit of fascination but the guilt that comes with admitting that you should abandon something earlier than socially acceptable. I'm not talking about not paying your mortgage because you want to buy shoes, or running out on your spouse because someone winked at you; broccoli is also delicious. Instead, it's about having the guts to resist and release all things that you find yourself convincing yourself that you should do, finish, or continue for no other reason than obligation.

This week's mantra is indicative of choosing pleasure and self-worth, over blind commitments:

"Don’t settle. Don’t finish crappy books. If you don’t like the menu, leave the restaurant. If you’re not on the right path, get off it." - Chris Brogan

Everyday Beauty - Emily

2013-03-21T09:15:00.003-04:00

I promised that I'd get Emily in front of my lens after I shot her dreamy apartment.

I met Emily in university when we were both in the same media studies program. She was the girl with the manic blonde pixie cut ala Edie Sedgwick, who swam in fur and vintage jewelry in a sea of Ugg boots and Tiffany Charm bracelets.

We didn't become friends until post-university when we realized we shared the EXACT same birthday, which we both believe qualifies our soul-sister friendship. Despite her beauty, she's the kindest and most charming person I know. Charm, not meant in an icky way, but in the way that makes a person magnetic to all people by being genuinely interested in them. You won't find her at a party mean-girling in a corner. Instead, she'll come up to you and compliment your necklace.

I asked her post-shoot, what makes something beautiful? She referenced her 17-year old self, looking at the liner notes artwork of the The Strokes album, Is This It?

She said,

"These imperfections seemed to be worn as badges of honour, embracing the transiency of youth and a startling disregard for what our culture defines as desirable. In my girlhood eyes, no carbon copy, photo-enhanced image could replicate the visceral response I had to seeing a startling new vision of what could be genuinely beautiful. It changed the way I perceived my own self-image, both externally and internally, and gave me pause for accepting my own beauty – both flawed and blossoming- in whatever forms it came."

Oh yeah, she's smart too. Enjoy! x

Cooking with Didi - Homemade Ravioli

2013-03-20T08:57:00.001-04:00

This year, I skipped St. Patrick’s Day festivities for the first time in five years to make homemade pasta. On Sunday, I walked to Diane (my cousin, fondly known as Didi) and her husband Chris’ (remember them?) apartment while people swarmed around me in mini-golf grass green attire on the streets.

We got to cooking.

Their loft kitchen is a dream. They have a stainless steel island the size of a twin bed, natural light streaming in from floor-to-ceiling windows and plates and bowls and cutlery that match!! This was an apartment for two, not the mismatched twenty-something kind.

I said I'd get married just to register for the stuff. (*Clearly indicates that I'm nowhere near ready for marriage).

Didi indicated that skipping a day-drinking event is the first sign of “getting old.” I rambled all of my life updates and she deduced, as my wiser, older cousin that I’m torn between two worlds: one of settling down and one of setting off.

“You’re going to confuse the universe,” she said.

After all of our hard work, we realized that we didn’t even have enough food for leftovers, so we started again. We commented how our grandmothers could have made triple the amount in the same time it took us to make a dozen. I introduced her to Girls, and she let me wear her apron even though we both agreed it was too girly for me. At the end of the afternoon we were both exhausted, but the results were worth it.

Below is our cooking adventure making homemade ravioli with ricotta cheese & parsley stuffing. Similar recipe version here. Enjoy! x

^^Someone is in need of a TAN^^

Weekly Mantra - Yes Doubt

2013-03-19T07:50:00.003-04:00

There are the small decisions (do I want seeded mustard or plain?) and there are the big decisions (if I take this job, date, trip) where will it lead me?

It seems at the middle of my twenties, I assume that every decision has to affect my future. What will this be like in 5 years, in 10 years? Am I wasting my time? Should I be pursuing something different? How will my day-to-day decisions affect my greater future? Am I on the right path?

Decision-making can be paralyzing. It can involve a lot of self-reflection, over-analyzing and list-making. It can involve research and overzealous opinions from others (I wouldn't do that if I were you. What will you do after? What about your future? It's time to get serious. It's too late to have fun).

Despite the pressure, I realize that life will happen even if I abstain from choosing. And not choosing is a choice unto itself.

I read an article in the online teen magazine Rookie (wish they existed when I was a teen) called The Great Unknown and it gave me this week's mantra. Live it.

"In reality, every decision you make can have (and probably will) have some positive and negative consequences: you picked a great college, but your awful roommate made your first year hell. You took the job you always wanted, but you are getting paid a lot less than you asked for. The objectively right decision is a myth. You can only consider what’s best for you right now. And decisions are what you make of them."(Danielle Henderson)

Blue Days

2013-03-14T07:56:00.001-04:00

I seem to put a lot of pressure on myself these days. I beat myself up the way an adamant chef pounds a raw chicken breast until the piece is translucent, weak and ready.

Ready to be dredged in breadcrumbs. Ready for the touch of a sizzling pan. The hot spit crackle. There is always the preparation.

Perhaps being tough on yourself is a sign that a change must occur. It could be a reason to think about thought patterns and growth. Maybe it's a way to push through to honesty, or a reminder that things aren't right.

Or maybe it's a sign to lighten up a bit. To enjoy the present. To embrace the stage of life, even if it feels off. And so if I couldn't lighten up, I decided to brighten up.

When the sun drenched the city, I wore my brightest coat to meet my best friend for coffee. As we walked, she commented that I strangely matched the construction beams on the street.

Yes, I thought, we're both a work in progress.

photo credit: stefania sgams