We often forget to do this one little thing.  It can make all the difference in our lives.   

I had forgotten this.  Children, finishing University, work, cooking, cleaning, doing, doing, going, going.  It was tiring me out.  Big time.  And for good reason.  I wasn't stopping to smell the roses.  I'd forgotten what that even meant.  At some point it began to mean to stop and smell pretty flowers when you pass them by.  If you feel like it. 

And then one day I got a present.  A little, snow white, fluffy puppy.  Cute as a button and sweet as could be.  Once she could go up and down stairs, I took to taking her to do her business in the front yard.  While most people have their gardens out back, there was too much playing and rumpusing out there for there to be any sort of real grass let alone a garden.  So instead we gardened our front yard with all sorts of plants and flowers, three kinds of rose bushes, tall grasses, all our favorites.  

I had just wanted her to go so I could go back inside and finish whatever it was I was doing, when she did a most curious thing.  She stopped at a flower and sniffed it.  "How cute,"  I remember thinking.  "What a sweet thing to do."  And she walked a little further and she did the same to the next flower.  And the next and the next. 

The next time I took her out there, she did the same thing.  And the time after that.  And it continued.  A little habit of hers that really started to make me think. 

I didn't stop to smell the roses any more.  I didn't just look around me peacefully, just appreciating everything around me, without thinking.  I wasn't slowing down.  I was so used to having to be one step ahead for work, for school, for four little beans running around, that my brain was always in overdrive. 

I had forgotten what it was to be peaceful.  And to smell a flower properly, that's exactly what you have to do, is be peaceful. 

Some of the greatest quotes are truisms, this one from American Neo-Conceptualist artist, Jenny Holzer, who believes that language is art.  If this motivational quote speaks to you, evokes an emotion, or if you have an instant reaction to it and want to somehow respond or incorporate it into your life (whether you know how to or not) then this truism has reached you in a way that it was intended. 

On the surface Holzer's truism seems to speak mostly to the female population, evoking images of pretty, elegant women who are soft and gentle, always with a smile, always calm, always happy with the simple lovely things in life, with enough energy for everyone. And though that's not actually what it means, it sort of does in a simple way. 

Being soft and lovely is something I try to strive for every day.  I hope I'm not alone in the fact that I really don't feel like I often project this part of myself.  My hair gets messy and frizzy and overall, I'm sometimes far from soft looking, and I certainly don't always dress oh so pretty.  Calm gentle energy? Always? Pffft.  I get mad and frustrated with myself and the world around me sometimes and put on my sour face when I am, not a very soft look, I assure you.  While I love to laugh and smile, so often I do it internally, while externally I exude a "leave me alone I'm focused" attitude.  I'm more tired than I want to be which comes off, I'm sure, as lazy, not lovely.  Shall I go on? 

The point is, all that soft and lovely lies underneath the disheveled mess. In all of us.  It's in our core.  And while we don't always realize it, it's always there and can, most of the time, be threaded in most things we do; even in the most mundane of our moments.  What we all need to be doing is bring it out and let it show in our actions.  Like on America's Next Top Model, when Tyra tells the girls to bring out their "fierce", that's what she really means, to portray that inner beautiful, strong self.  Being soft and lovely includes the strength of our selves. 

Sure there are plenty of times when you shouldn't be soft and lovely, not totally.   But even during those times, there is a way to go about it that is much softer on the self, that holds onto that core and threads out into how we act.  I'm pretty sure we'll smile more, feel happier, and probably be more confident; which all goes a long way to feeling the full beauty of turning soft and lovely every chance we get.

While Jenny Holzer used a box office backdrop for her truism, I've used the backdrop of one the most soft and lovely, loud and boisterous creatures I've ever met: Albert, resident peacock at Los Poblanos Inn and Farm, in all his loveliness.

You may also like:   Farm to Table Breakfast at Los Poblanos Historic Inn  and Letter from the Editor.

It's always nice to be reminded that we are beautiful, and that someone thinks so even when we don't.  I  think it is a fabulous idea to serve a little "you're beautiful" message in a cup or mug; both for yourself and to serve to your guests and friends and family when they visit, especially if they're feeling a bit down. 

If you know where to buy these, let us know! 

To all our readers: We think you're beautiful, each and every day.

It's funny how throughout our lives we insist on being self sufficient.  Ten years of babysitting, five years of teaching, and nine years with four children of my own later, and the verdict is in.  We are ultimately wired for independence, self sufficiency, and doing our own thing.  Which makes sense, because if we weren't we never would have survived this long as a species. 

But what we have to consider, is also the fact that while we may crave autonomy and carry our "I can do it myself" attitude, or forage through life with the belief that "if you want it done right, you better do it yourself", we would never have gotten to where we are as a society if we weren't a community based populace.

Life would be so much easier if we just asked for a little help every once in a while.  You'll find a smile on your face more often if you do.  You'll find you're more willing to give a helping hand yourself.  You'll even gain close and dear friends along the way.  There's always someone out there who'd love to lend a hand. 

Why?  Because we could all use a little help.  It's just the way it is.  The videos below are just two small examples.

Woke up this morning after a beautiful night's sleep. Not always easy to get those. It didn't hurt that I got snuggled with in a big way.  So there was a smile on my face for sure when I woke up.  The world was sunny, but not too sunny.  The weather was the kind that doesn't demand anything in particular to be worn, you could t-shirt it or sweater it, decide on a skirt or jeans, sport some shoes or go barefoot, whatever. There was a natural calm in the air.  It was one of those Sundays that are perfectly soft.  Where neighborhood sounds are a pleasure through open windows.  Where brunch is a must.  Where your hair doesn't need to be brushed, and should, in fact get tousled, and the earlier the better.

Sunday morning isn't usually computer time, but I thought I'd browse around and see what people might be doing.  Aya woke before dawn this morning and had a wonderful breakfast of grapes with her son.  Yes, grapes would be good this morning.  Sweet and tart, juicy and bite-sized, and best of all they could be eaten one at a time or silly chipmunk style.

Eating my red Sunday grapes, I was reminded of something a friend of mine said about love.  "Love is as love does. In our best moments, we are loving. Love can be most anything. Be yourself. You are love."  Something to think about today, in your favorite pile of leaves.

Here's to hoping your day was a messy hair, love and grapes and whatever kind of day.

We don't always get things right.  Do we play the offensive?  Defensive?  How do we win in questionable times like these?

There's only one thing you can do during these times.  ​Turn to Jack Handy for some good, solid, thoughtful advice.

"If you are ever in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins.  It will make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them."  Jack Handy (American writer - Saturday Nite Live, famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches).

There's a lot to be said about the power of a pumpkin you know.  There's a reason why we chunk them, smash them, take our knives to them.  There's a reason why Mr. Handy would have you throw them at the enemy. 

​In China, Pumpkin (南瓜; nánguā) is the symbol for prosperity, abundance, descendant's luck, illustrious children, enchantment.  Not to mention, this fruit draws earth energy to manifest gold.  In other parts of the world, pumpkins are special because they are round.  When we eat their seeds our bodies fill with wonderful nutrients and minerals.  Their seeds also hold a plethora of medicinal qualities.

So if pumpkins hold such wonderful symbolism to people all over the world, why in tar-nation would we do all these crazy things to and with them?​ At the very least, why would we be throwing little pumpkins at our enemies? 

I think that's the point Mr. Handy is making (I did say his advice would be thoughtful).    You see, by throwing ( or as I like to say, offering) the other side an army of, say, descendant's luck, nutrition, or round shapes, it's like you're throwing their guard off, making them think you're being all generous, kind, and sweet.  They'll get all sentimental and soft on you. 

And that, my friends, is when you get 'em where it hurts.  Game over.

We love it when you like us.  Don't forget to click on the heart/like button ♥ just below this article for a super fun heart fireworks animation.  And be sure to share this with your friends and social networks via the share button below. From all of us here at Eye on Life Magazine, happy reading.

Blame is all about whose fault it was.  Responsibility is all about repairs and/or amends, restitution and/or apology.  In short, blame is about the past and responsibility is about the present and future.  Since the past cannot be changed, blame is of very limited value.  Assigning responsibility changes the present and so affects the future.  

It is true that blame has its uses.  Some things cannot be fixed, amended or repaired and as a society we find them to be beyond apology.  Then we affix blame and assign punishment.  Yet we often use blame to avoid responsibility.  We find a scapegoat to blame for our own mistakes, or, for example, blame the President for the deeds of those who hide behind the mask of a corporation.  We often blame others when they reflect parts of ourselves of which we are ashamed.  Misplaced blame is an enemy of personal growth.  ​

Accepting responsibility is empowering.  Assigning responsibility expresses confidence that the recipient will rise to the task of making things right.   Sometimes we find that we must accept responsibility for another's misdeeds or mistakes.  We have a choice then to feel persecuted, wrongly required to clean up someone else's mess or we can feel empowered and entrusted to be the hero and make things right. 

I wish you peace in your quest to rightly decide whether it is blame or responsibility that needs to be assigned.  ​

We love it when you like us.  Don't forget to click on the heart/like button ♥ just below this article for a super fun heart fireworks animation.  And be sure to share this with your friends and social networks via the share button below. From all of us here at Eye on Life Magazine, happy reading.​

We could have a totally positive attitude in ourselves about something, be totally excited, and still find that there are situations or people that get us frustrated or angry.  That make us think that the cards are stacked against us or that the universe is trying to tell us something that we don't want to hear.  We think that our inside attitude can stop the negatives from happening in our lives, can make things run smoother, can keep that smile we want so much on our face.  When our attitude can't accomplish this, when thunder and lightning strike,  we tend to want to give up and wait for the storm to pass while immersing ourselves in our emotions.

There's more to an attitude than just the attitude in our head.  There's an active positive attitude that we can wear via our bodies.  It's the attitude that compels us to move forward to keep living, the same way our hearts keep beating. That's the attitude that can make the difference.  It's the difference between letting life pass us by and dancing in the rain, doing what we set out to accomplish, no matter what, however big or little of a thing that might be. 

What if, instead of staring out the window, feeling defeat while sitting idly by, blaming ourselves for not having a strong enough attitude, we took a different approach?  What if we slid on our rain boots and stepped out into the rain?  What if we actually moved?  What if we let our hips sway side to side?  Tapped our rain-booted toes in the splotchy puddles.  Twirled around with our arms wide.  What if we just kept going?  What if we danced in the rain?

We love it when you like us.  Don't forget to click on the heart/like button just below this article.  And be sure to share this with your friends and social networks via the share button below. From all of us here at Eye on Life Magazine, happy reading.

Today's Notes and Quotes commentary is brought to you by Christopher Reilly, St. Louis based writer and Creative, whose featured pieces make their way into must have publications like Alive magazine.  While he has a serious side professionally, he is sure to make you laugh despite yourself, both in person and on his personal blog: The Crusty Curmudgeon (check out his links at the end of the article). 

Without further ado, here's a fascinating piece Chris wrote for us on Dorothy Parker.

Ah, Dorothy Parker. She didn't have a happy childhood you know, but mercilessly displayed her biting wit and criticism from the time she was very young. Her father remarried when Dorothy was seven, two years after her mother's death, and she so disliked the woman that she refused to call her “mother” or “stepmother,” and instead referred to her forever as “the housemaid.” Later in Catholic elementary school she was expelled when—according to Parker—she characterized the immaculate conception as “spontaneous combustion.”

She looked at the world sideways, more spectator than participant, and her unique view would serve her well. Her writing took almost every form: poetry, short stories, critiques, satire, and film scripts, even garnering two Academy Award nominations, one of them as co-writer of A Star is Born. Her legendary years began with a fill-in writing gig in the New Yorker, which led to the Algonquin Round Table, and then her work was everywhere; Vanity Fair, Vogue, and lots more. Her wit was keen; a Parker wisecrack came faster than a serpent's deadly tongue.

Parker's quotes have lost none of their relevancy, but more than that, they are somehow perfect for modern times and social media, where a pithy quip makes a perfect picture to pass around on Facebook. Parkers words were memes before memes existed. They are funny, clever, and quite often deeper than they appear, and some of them, like this one, are structured perfectly. But we needn't over-analyze Parker or her words or her form or her life. We only need to smile at her cleverness and insight, and daydream, yes, of Algonquin Round Tables. - Christopher Reilly

Yes, right— it’s a joke and the point is that dogs are color blind.  But then, from a dog’s point of view, people are smell blind and have lousy hearing. The rich panoply of aromas that your dog sniffs on you when you walk in the door tell him more than you can possibly imagine (and more than all the loving words you pour out about your day as you greet him and play with him).

Roses, Violets, People, Dogs

 I’ve spent a great deal of my life moving around from place to place. I went to nine different schools before I got to college, so I got to experience many diferent points of view on the world.  I’ve been around the block a few times and been lucky enough to live in many parts of the United States and also in a few foreign lands. What that taught me is that while people are pretty much the same everywhere— culture, history and personal experience really make a big difference.  In parts of Asia dogs are food.  In America they are pets.  In America we eat cows.  In India they are holy.  Climate, language, age, education, history— everything affects how we perceive the world around us and all the creatures with whom we share that world.

It’s really hard to walk a mile in anybody else’s shoes and really easy to make a judgement or get hurt feelings or even hold a grudge or go to war.   But it really, in most cases, is just a matter of perception and whether roses are red or grey  all depends on whether you are a dog or a human. 

I think it’s worth remembering that to some creatures Roses are red and violets are blue and to others they are grey.  It all depends on your point of view.

“Life isn’t simple.  But the beauty of it is, you can always start over.  It’ll get easier.”

I’ve kept that quote posted on my white board for a little inspiration on those awful days we get from time to time, the ones that are overwhelming.  Over time, the more I thought about her quote, the more I realized something I knew all along – that while life isn’t simple it does and always will have a lot of opportunities for “do overs.”

For those of you who missed this book when it first came out, the central plot revolved around life’s surprises in the small and large unexpected ways people make a difference in the lives of others and even their own, by simply choosing a “do over” on life’s problems. 

The main character, Zell Roy oozes in her enduring strength when her husband unexpectedly dies during post Katrina relief efforts in New Orleans.  As she struggles to reinvent and start over her life, her simply from scratch approach is a reminder to all of us — that anything is possible and that “do overs” are available for free — all we have to do is rework our recipe for life in ways that let us know that while life isn’t simple, it’s really about perfecting your personal recipe box filled with what does work and letting go of what doesn’t.

I’m old enough to look back and see all the many times I thought my world was shattered beyond repair only to later find out that what evolved afterwards was so much better - better recipes for living come from surviving and thriving despite the roller-coaster ride of simply life and it’s realities.

Today, I look up at that faded quote on my white board of inspirations and state with confidence “do overs” are the best, just like left over curry or a really good winter stew that as the dish cools and sits, all the different flavors and aromas have melted together and somehow miraculously become mellow in perfection.  The flavors of a life well-lived is mellow perfection, served with a whole lot of satisfaction.

Leaving notes in unusual places like between books on the shelves of a bookstore or a home library can bring a special bit of joy to someone’s day.

Even if it doesn’t always seem so, life really is beautiful.  Especially when you find a note that tells you so out of the blue. While this special art of leaving notes and quotes for those we love and care for is as old as time,  there’s a similar kind of leaving notes that is worth a deeper appreciation. 

A few months ago, a friend of mine invited me to a Facebook event that was all about leaving anonymous notes in anonymous places for people you didn’t know.  These notes could be as short as one word, like, “smile,”  or as long as a meaningful and uplifting quote of say one to three sentences.  The object was to leave these notes in random places throughout your day for someone you may have never met before to find when you weren’t there anymore.  In turn you knew that you’d made someone’s day a little brighter. You’d spread the love so to speak.  When the day was done, life was beautiful to everyone who participated.  A lot of smiles.  A lot of happy.

I find myself looking back at that whole experience, and I realize that it really stuck with me. More people should find the time to leave beautiful and anonymous notes and quotes more often.  Think about it.  There are so many opportunities to put a smile on others’ faces as well as our own.  It offers us each an opportunity to really think about things that make others happy.

So where are some good places to leave that special message?  That note could be on a post-it to be found on a haphazard wall or stuck to a t-shirt at the store.  It could be found on a school locker or on a car.  That note might have a small quote that, in its own simple way, makes someone feel that, yes, life is beautiful.

Maybe it says something like, “You’re awesome,” or, “You look great today,” or how about, “I followed the rainbow and it led me to your smile.” (Okay, that last one is hopefully from a dear friend or boyfriend.)  Maybe it’s a bit more philosophical of a quote that says, “Smile and the world smiles with you,” or, “Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.”

The coffee maker at work or home also makes for a great place to leave or find a small but meaningful quote that will brighten someone’s day. Maybe your own? It’s not a bad idea to leave notes in unusual (or ordinary) places for yourself.  It takes very little effort. Doing something nice for yourself puts you in a better mood.  It also lets yourself know that, “Hey, I’m all right in my book,” which in the end is one of the best things about a beautiful life — You.  An appreciation for yourself can go a long way in brightening your mood and lifting your confidence. 

Once you get used to leaving notes and quotes that make someone smile, whether you know them or not, it becomes second nature. Not to mention it feels oh so good.