notSupermum

My friend Tom

2013-05-18T12:37:00.002+01:00

I've always liked Tom.

I first got to know him as a school friend of my brother. They were both two years older than me and very alike - rough diamonds if you like, cheeky chappies with an eye for the ladies.

I got to know him a lot better when I was working in a pub during my days as a mature student (does that make other students immature?). He travelled a lot with his job but when he was home he'd come in at the weekend and stand at the end of the bar chatting and flirting with the women. He was good-looking too in a David Essex sort of way, all twinkly eyes and tousled hair that was slightly longer than it should be.

He had a fantastic sense of humour, just like my brother, and could make me laugh more than anyone I'd ever known. He found humour everywhere and his delivery was so dry he could just stand and watch as everyone else was bent over with laughter. He was one of those people that everyone liked: men and women, kids. He saw the funny side of everything and he was just bloody good company.

We even went on a few dates, Tom and I. He persuaded me, against my better judgement, to go out a couple of times and even though I had a great time and laughed more than was decent on a date, I knew he wasn't for me. His roving eye was a real no-no but we always remained good friends.

As the years rolled by I saw him less and less until he bought a house down the road from me and opposite the village shop. Every few weeks when he was home we would bump into each other in the shop and have a chat. He'd never married and so I always hoped he would flirt and ask me on a date. He never let me down and I could never quite tell if he was joking or serious, but even after my divorce it was still always a no from me.

A few years ago I heard a rumour that he was having an affair with the woman who lived opposite me. She was married with kids, and a bit stuck-up for my liking and I just couldn't see her with Tom. They seemed so different - she was all designer labels and namedropping and he was, well he was still the twinkly-eyed, rough around the edges Tom. I did wonder if it was true.

One day, when I was out in the front doing a bit of gardening, Tom walked up the neighbour's drive. It seemed a bit odd considering the rumours and sure enough moments later when her husband appeared at the door there were raised voices and scuffling. In seconds Tom and the husband were wrestling each other on the front lawn while she screamed for them to stop. It was all over very quickly but I'd seen enough to realise that the rumours had been true after all.

When we moved to this house I didn't see Tom in the corner shop anymore. And as the new house was further down the village I no longer saw him walking past on the way to the the pub.

But I still drove past his house every morning when I drove my girls to school and when I noticed that his car was never seemed to be outside I assumed it was because he was working away more than usual.

Last week when I was out walking the dog I bumped into one of the neighbours from our previous house. She asked me if I'd heard about Sylvia. Sylvia lived in the the bungalow at the end of the village and I knew she was Tom's mum. I said no, I hadn't heard.

"She died a few weeks after her son."

And that's how I heard about Tom's death. After making a couple of phone calls I found out that Tom died of cancer nearly two years ago, six weeks before his mother. He was 52.

I'm still in shock, mostly that he's gone but also that it took me so long to find out. We must have moved house around about the same time he died and so somehow the news didn't filter through the usual neighbourly channels.

Yesterday, I made a point of taking the dog for a walk down to the other end of the village to where Tom lived, and as I passed his house I said my own silent goodbye to him. I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to see you one last time Tom. We would have laughed.

Thought for the day

2013-05-17T12:51:00.001+01:00

The garden in May ~ Verdant

2013-05-16T18:43:00.004+01:00

ver·dant

/ˈvərdnt/

Adjective

(of countryside) Green with grass or other rich vegetation.
Of the bright green colour of lush grass.

I love that word, and it's the one that sprang to mind when I was out in the garden today.

Everything suddenly seems so lush and green and ready to explode with colour. This is possibly my favourite time of the gardening year.

There is something very other worldly about ferns and the way they grow.

One of my favourite plants, allium christophii is ready to burst open any day. Can't wait.

The bluebells in the front garden have only flowered in the last couple of days.

Every garden should have a frilly tulip.

This pale yellow tulip was almost transparent with the sun behind it. Gorgeous.

The beds are starting to fill up and everything is growing so unbelievably fast, but then we've had such a combination of rain and sunshine for the past week it's no wonder.

How's your garden coming along? What are your favourite plants in your garden?

p.s. I've just found this gardening linky via Mammasaurus, and there are plenty of gorgeous entries to enjoy.

Marie Curie Stories: a day with the catering team at the Liverpool hospice

2013-05-14T22:37:00.001+01:00

A couple of weeks ago I was invited to visit the Marie Curie hospice in Liverpool. I went to meet the catering team to see for myself how they cater for their patients. It's all part of a national campaign to highlight the brilliant work done by the Marie Curie across the country, and it's a subject very close to my heart.

Head chef Mike Carew

When I arrived at the hospice I was introduced to head chef, Mike Carew, who looks after a team of chefs and kitchen staff, including several volunteers.

Mike has worked at the hospice for over 20 years and it was clear that he not only loved his job, but cared passionately about the welfare of the patients.

He told me how important it was to cater for the individual patient as getting the right nourishment and enjoyment from the food is all part of their quality of life - a phrase I heard several times during my visit.

He recalled a time when a patient was refusing to eat so Mike made a visit to the ward to talk to him. After chatting for a while he persuaded him to have a strawberry milkshake for his lunch. The next day the man asked for a milkshake again and gradually, over a couple of weeks, he started to eat more food until he was eating a full meal (but still with a milkshake!) When it was time for the patient to go home Mike invited his wife into the kitchen so they could show her how to make the milkshake just the way he liked it.

Mike introduced me to chef Michelle who explained that we'd be going up to the wards to talk to each patient about the day's menu and help them choose a lunch and dinner.

Chef Michelle

10am starting the ward rounds

It was time for me to accompany Michelle on her ward rounds. This is the time when she gets to meet each one of the 30 patients and talk them through the menu choices for the day.

On our way up to the wards, Michelle talked about the importance of getting to know each patient's likes and dislikes and using the right body language and tone of voice. But Michelle has such a lovely, warm personality it was no surprise that the patients loved her.

It's her job to make sure each patient chooses a lunch and dinner from the menu, and it was fascinating to watch her do it by means of humour and gentle persuasion. She clearly had the patients' best interests at heart and gave them a bit of encouragement if they weren't sure what to choose or offered alternatives if none of the choices appealed. One of the patients didn't eat red meat and didn't fancy the chicken dish so Michelle tempted him with a vegetable stir-fry which was freshly prepared for him as it wasn't on the menu.

The two wards were less clinical than a hospital with some personal touches around. One lady had balloons and bouquets of flowers next to her bed, leftover from her birthday the previous day. She told me the kitchen staff had surprised her with a birthday cake and had made sure her day was special.

Another was having her hair done by a stylist when we arrived and showed me the fabulous view of Liverpool from her bedroom window.

All of the patients spoke very highly of the standard of food - "Better than a restaurant" - and the staff "They're all lovely" and "They can't do enough for you."

11am The food is prepared

There are two kitchens, one for hot food (main meals) and the other for cold (sandwiches, salads, desserts, etc). They have to cater for the hospice's 30 in-patients, as well as 10 patients who attend a day therapy unit, various day support groups and the staff restaurant and all of the food is freshly made on the day.

When Michelle gets back from her ward rounds she discusses the patients' menu choices with chef Sammy who prepares the hot meals.

Michelle and Sammy discuss the patients' choices

As soon as Sammy knows the numbers required he gets cracking because they all have to ready to go up to the wards at 12 noon. Having only one hour to prepare that many meals would bring me out in a cold sweat but Sammy takes it in his stride. 30 Portuguese chicken dishes, 20 pork fillets and a couple of stir-fry meals? No problem!

Sammy starts preparing the hot meals

Sponge puddings waiting for custard or cream

12 noon Lunch is served

The meals have to be ready for the patients and staff, and are taken up to the wards on trolleys. Each patient might have a slight variation to their meal (cream instead of custard; tomato soup instead of minestrone) so notes are attached to dishes to make sure they get to the right person.

This is a finely honed team at work, nothing is left to chance and everyone knows their role.

They are all under tight time pressures and keep to strict hygiene standards at all times - but it's all done with good humour and a real team spirit.

And, as far as I know, everyone enjoyed their food!

The A Team: Sammy, Michelle, Andy the restaurant manager and Mike

Mike with volunteer Elsie

Marie Curie hospices rely on the support of volunteers, and at the Liverpool hospice I met kitchen volunteer Elsie. Elsie had worked in the kitchen for many years before retiring, but soon came back as a volunteer.

She was obviously an important member of the team and told me how much she enjoyed working with the rest of the kitchen staff.

The whole place was imbued with a happy, positive atmosphere, people were friendly and helpful and the patients were happy and well cared for.

But it was the personal touches - the birthday cake, the stir-fry, the milkshake - that made the difference and made me realise how amazing the catering staff are. Nothing seemed to be too much trouble for the patients.

Before my visit I'd been a bit apprehensive about what to expect (I thought I'd be sobbing all day long) but I can honestly say it was a very enjoyable experience. In fact I didn't think I would use this word, but the word that best describes it is uplifting.

Thank you to everyone who made me so welcome at Marie Cure Liverpool, it was a real pleasure to spend some time with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Join #MarieCurieStories today as we give you the chance to walk in the shoes of nurses, patients and carers and experience a day in the life of Marie Curie.

Marie Curie has teamed up with six bloggers who have visited Marie Curie hospices across the UK. Follow #MarieCurieStories on Twitter and Facebook and at www.mariecurie.org.uk/mariecuriestories.

Marie Curie Nurses provide free end-of-life care to people with terminal illnesses in their own homes, or in Marie Curie Hospices.

Updating the living room ~ Fifty shades of brown

2013-05-12T20:29:00.000+01:00

We've been in this house for 18 months now and the living room is one area we hadn't touched. We moved our furniture in on the day and kept the previous owner's curtains as a 'temporary measure'.

That's always a trap isn't it? Keeping something to tide you over and having to explain that "they're not our choice of curtain, we inherited them with the house" every time someone comes to visit. It'll only wash for so long before they become your curtains.

So, time for a change but I didn't want to have to redecorate the whole room. I don't have the time, energy or money for that right now as it'll be a big job: the ceiling needs repainting and every wall needs stripping.

What? So I like sitting in an
armchair. Get over it.

Apart from that, the room didn't really work for us. The seating arrangement was awkward and the dog's chair (ok, it's not actually the Tessie's chair.....she just happens to sit there a lot!) was the first thing anyone saw as they walked in the room.

Nope, instead I decided to do ~~a bit~~ a lot of furniture moving and put up some new curtains! Yes, you hear that right: brand, spanking new curtains! Hurrah!

The living room is long and quite dark at one side despite having two large windows. It's a nice enough room but pretty bland due to the many tones of beige, brown and....more brown. The carpet cam with the house and our sofas are the same sort of colour. Plus two of the walls are painted - guess what? - brown. Not good.

The Teenager helped me move the furniture but she Could. Not. Wait. to take the curtains down. I went to iron the new curtains and when I came back in this had happened:

We put the new curtains up and moved the furniture around to make it easier to watch TV and sit and talk to each other. This L-shaped arrangement works much better for us.

The other side of the room is still a work in progress - the two armchairs are next to a reading light, but the the blank wall is crying out for some artwork and the corner needs redecorating where the wallpaper is missing.

And now the ~~dog's~~ armchair is hidden behind the door so it's not the first thing you see.

The curtains are from M&S (Simple Leaf Eyelet curtains/£55 a pair) and were pretty good value for money considering how long and wide they are. I think they add a different tone and pattern to the room without being overpowering. (Oh, and the Teenager wants me to mention that she chose them.)

I bought the cushions from TKMaxx a few months ago, and I've the lamps for about 5 years.

The Orla Kiely box is my inspiration for the room and I'm hoping to use more of the colours for other accessories and soft furnishings.

The bronze figure is a favourite and I bought it many years ago.

This is what you see now when you walk into the room. I think it looks brighter and has a bit more of a colour scheme going on. There's still more brown than I'd like but not bad considering the only thing I bought was the curtains.

In the summer I'd like to strip all the walls and redecorate, making the walls lighter and brighter. I don't think a new carpet is in the offing, so I might consider a rug to break up the sea of brown.

Are you doing any updating, furniture moving or decorating?

When are kids too old for a family holiday?

2013-05-12T19:06:00.000+01:00

Our first family holiday - not all the children are mine:)

We're big fans of holidaying in the UK and I've written before about our annual family holiday to Wales and how we go to the same place every year - a farm cottage on the Llyn Peninsula.

This year will be our 9th year and I think, sadly, also our last. The Teenager is getting to the stage were she doesn't really want to come on holiday with us anymore, she has her own friends and boyfriend and I think next year she'll opt for a holiday with them. She was reluctant to come this year but I managed to persuade her but I'm sad that it might be our last as a family.

Our family holidays over the years have been fantastic and it nice to know that the girls have some very happy memories of them. They still talk about one particular holiday I took them on, and it was the first one we had a family of three. I was a bit unsure of taking two small children on holiday on my own, so I chose to stay at a holiday park (also in Wales).

The park had some great facilities, particularly the indoor swimming pool and the outside water play area
which they'd have stayed in all day if I'd let them! It was also very close to the beach so between that and the park facilities there was always plenty for them to do. And in the evenings there was entertainment with shows suitable for the whole family.

One of the few drawbacks of our cottage holidays is that we have very little to do if the weather is bad. If it rains (and most years we've had at least a couple of rainy days) we end up watching back to back DVDs in the cottage or fighting over a game of Monopoly. The Teenager is so competitive!

That's the big advantage holiday parks have - because of the on-site facilities there's always plenty of things for children to do, which means you don't have to start trekking around looking for somewhere to go (and I've spent a fortune doing that too!) It also gives the children a bit of independence and the adults a bit of a break!

I was very impressed that these holiday parks are dog friendly and are happy for the family pet to come along, and at a much lower cost than it costs to put them in kennels.

How do you choose your holidays, and which ones do your children enjoy the most?

This is a commissioned post

Silent Sunday ~ 12th May

2013-05-12T10:37:00.004+01:00

My feisty little girl is all grown up

2013-05-10T11:32:00.001+01:00

One day soon this little duckling will pack its bags and leave home....

When your children are toddlers and you're teaching them stuff (and I'm talking about important stuff like how to tie their own shoelaces or how to eat corn on the cob without looking like an idiot) you often wonder how they will turn out in the long run.

The Teenager is 16 and after a few years of thinking she's was constantly auditioning for some secret drama queen academy she's finally settled down into a lovely young woman. She's all the things I would have chosen for her - intelligent, smart, very thoughtful and outgoing.

She's always been a feisty girl and that's fine. When she was little her wilfullness could be somewhat challenging at times but I didn't want to break her spirit, I always wanted her to be able to look after herself.

And it appears she can, because this week I witnessed her handle a difficult situation with a maturity and awareness that blew me away.

She had a conversation with someone close to her who had hurt her deeply, and she explained to them in very clear detail why their behaviour was unacceptable to both her and her sister, and why they needed to examine their strategies for dealing with their very obvious anger issues.

I was so proud of her I was punching the air in excitement!

She handled it without losing her temper or getting upset (if it'd been me I'd have done both) and with a deftness of touch that left me totally in awe of her. There was really nothing else for me to add, she did a brilliant job on her own.

My little girl is now more capable of dealing with difficult people than I am. How ace is that?

Interesting stuff from around t'internet

2013-05-07T20:25:00.000+01:00

Here's my selection of stuff from the internet, including puppies, album covers, German beards and an article every parent should read.

Ever wondered how astronauts sleep in space?

Very, very clever ad for a washing machine. Does a bear strip in the woods?

Puppy wake-up call. This rates 11 out of 10 on the cuteness scale.

What whippets do at the beach. This is a good illustration of how ~~lazy~~ placid whippets and greyhounds are.

45 of the worst album covers ever made. Hard to choose which one is the worst, but number 41 has to be a contender.

To parents of small children. Read this article every week until your children have left home. Wise words indeed.

Stupid things people say in court. Some of these are very funny.

Around the world in 5 minutes. Some pretty stunning time lapse photography.

The only 10 pieces of clothing you need. I need to do this.

Families from around the world photographed with their weekly food shopping.

The annual beard contest in Germany. Boy, the Germans know how to grow a beard.

And finally, puppies in a laundry basket. You're welcome.

My spring wish list from John Lewis ~ sponsored

2013-05-07T20:02:00.000+01:00

Regular readers will know that I love John Lewis. It is in fact my spiritual home and I make regular pilgrimages to worship there.

I was talking to a friend about our favourite shop the other day and we both agreed that we could either a) live there, or b) furnish and decorate our entire homes purely from John Lewis. They have such good taste!

So I've been asked to look at the online shop and pick out a 'wish list' of items I'd like in my home. I'm going to limit the list to 5 otherwise this could turn into the longest blog post ever!

Last year I bought two John Lewis rugs for the hallway. They were great quality and despite muddy shoes, rain and snow being trodden in they still look like new, so I'm on the look out for another one for the living room.

I'm not sure this Orla Kiely design would go with the rest of the room but I love it anyway.

This Kartell Componibili circular storage unit would be perfect as a bedside cabinet

in the Teenager's bedroom.

I love this Scion Mr Fox cushion in grey and yellow. Isn't it fun?

There is a whole series of these Getty images, but this one of Marilyn Monroe is one of my favourites.

And bearing in mind this is a wish list, and not a shopping list, I'd like to include this Neptune Suffolk

rack dresser. It's just slightly out of my budget at £1,850 *cough* but we can dream can't we?

So, that's my list and if anyone is feeling generous feel free to buy me something...

Royal Mail celebrates 50 years of Doctor Who

2013-05-06T22:48:00.000+01:00

If you're a big fan of Doctor Who (and who isn't?) it won't have escaped your notice that this year marks the 50th anniversary of the show, and judging by the newspaper reports it looks like there might be some exciting things planned for the anniversary feature length special.

To mark the event the Royal Mail has released commemorative stamps to celebrate the 50 years of Doctor Who. The special edition stamps can be bought online at RoyalMail.com or at post offices. There are eleven different individual stamps each with a different incarnation of the doctor on. There are also miniature sheets available with the famous villains of the T.V show. The Royal Mail Doctor Who online shop also includes plenty of gifts and merchandise for the die-hard fans and just in time for the 50^th anniversary.

Doctor Who is the longest running sci-fi TV show in the world and has been hugely popular since it was relaunched in 2005 with Christopher Eccleston in the role. He was followed by one of the most popular Doctors ever - David Tennant. Of course, at the risk of sounding like an old crony (stop it!) my favourite is actually one of the earliest.

The Second Doctor - Patrick Troughton

Regenerating from the original Doctor, William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton played the Time Lord between 1966 and 1969 saw the show move towards faster paced stories with more monsters. He was rather whimsical and wore a dark baggy suit and bow tie and often played the penny whistle. I liked him, and still think he was the best ever incarnation of the Doctor.

During his travels he had a few assistants but the one I remember best is Highlander Jamie (Frazer Hines) who I remember being quite rugged and handsome in his kilt. (He later went on to star in Emmerdale as Joe Sudgen, remember him?)

I think we all have our own favourite Doctor don't we? Which is yours?

This is a sponsored post.

The garden in May - relaxing, repotting and using a cold frame

2013-05-05T15:12:00.003+01:00

This month I'm really starting to enjoy the work a garden demands. It's so relaxing to go out into the garden with a cuppa for 'just for ten minutes' and start pottering and doing a bit of weeding. Ten minutes soon turns into 30 or an hour, but I'm happy in my own little back garden haven. It's a way of relaxing that is relatively new to me and I can't recommend it enough.

Tessie usually comes into the garden with me and relaxes on the new lawn. When she's not relaxing she'll be on the look out for the blummin' squirrels who have pulled down the bird feeders (can you see them on the step?)

One of the highlights this week has been the stunning colour of this pieris which is on the back border, sandwiched between two choisyas.

This garden, like our previous one, is south-facing but although we had very little shade in the last one this garden has just the right amount. The garden backs onto parkland, and one of the things I enjoyed last year was the dappled shade provided by the trees in the park.

I've been busy again this week, and once again I've been buying plants at the supermarket - some of them are so well priced it's hard to resist.

After stupidly planting out dahlia tubers far too early I wanted to rectify my mistake. I bought a couple of new tubers plus some young dahlia plants that were 6 for £2 at Asda - what a bargain!

Even so, I bought them a couple of weeks ago and had kept them on a windowsill indoors but according to Dan Pearson it's still a little early to plant them out so I decided that what I really needed was a cold frame to help harden the plants off a bit.

My garden is too small for a greenhouse, not that I could afford one, but I had the perfect spot for a cold frame. At the back of the garage there's what I call the garden utility area. It's basically where the potting bench is, some pots, tools and bits and pieces are kept. It gets a fair bit of sun too so it seemed a good place.

I looked around at some inexpensive plastic greenhouses and cold frames and in the end chose this cloche greenhouse from Wilkos.

I was a bit disheartened to open the packaging and find all these bits to assemble and a very inadequate instruction sheet, but that's what you get for £11 I'm afraid.

In the end it didn't take that long to assemble (20-30 minutes?) but the hardest part was wrestling the plastic cover over the metal frame.

I put the dahlia plants in, plus the fuschia I bought last week, a hosta in a pot that I thought had died last year but has started to grow again, and my cosmos chocca mocca plant which, because its not hardy, had been growing indoors all winter.

I had also been growing some sweet pea on the kitchen windowsill but they were getting a bit straggly. On a recent Gardeners' World Monty Don suggested pinching out the shoots to promote a bushier plant so I've done that. They also needed to be potted on but still need a bit of protection from the weather so they were also put in the cold frame.

It's big enough for what I need, and I'm sure it'll do an adequate job but as it's secured to the ground with some small metal pegs I just know that as soon as the colder weather and heavy winds arrive in the autumn I'm going to see it flying past my bedroom window.

Of course, what I'd really like would be a proper wooden cold frame like this Grand Cold Frame from Gabriel Ash.

But better still, and in the absence of any room for a greenhouse I've been coveting this one. It's their Upright Coldframe and it would fit perfectly against the garage wall (I know because I've measured!). Isn't it a beauty?

As I gain experience and confidence in the garden I can see how much more I could do if I had somewhere to grow my own plants from seed in the spring and keep some of the non-hardy plants over winter. It could even accommodate some tomatoes.

I'm already saving up.

This post is sponsored by Gabriel Ash, but the words and opinions are my own.

How ironic (and not in an Alanis Morissette sort of way)

2013-05-02T14:39:00.000+01:00

A couple of years ago I mentioned my dislike of all things McDonalds. You may remember it:

I hate McDonalds. Hate, hate, hate. It would take me too long to go into detail about why, but I dislike their attempt at world domination; the insidious advertising to small children (nursery visits from Ronald McDonald anyone?) the plastic tasting food; and the whole ethos of churning out junk food to the masses. When the Teenager was a toddler I didn't want to take her to get a Silly Meal so I told her that Ronald McDonald ate children. Did I mention how evil I am? It worked for a while until she got wise to it. Drat that clever girl. However, I've still managed to avoid taking the girls there but do occasionally compromise by getting a meal thrown out of the window (as they liked to call the Drive Thru when they were little.)

My real hatred started when the Teenager was 2 and attended a private nursery in the days when I worked full-time and the ex had a job. We paid top whack to have her looked after there and it was a lovely place, so I was shocked when I went to collect her one day and she told me they'd had a visit from Ronald McDonald. Ronald bloody McDonald!!

To say I was annoyed is putting it lightly, 'incandescent with rage' would probably be a better description. I made my views known to the nursery manager who seemed confused about why I'd object to 'an innocent little puppet show'. My reply was something like "But it's the most insidious type of advertising to young impressionable toddlers - TODDLERS!" or thereabouts. Maybe delivered in a loud voice.

My dislike still continues but as I happen to be the caretaker of two teenagers who like the plastic food served at McDs I've had to relax my objection slightly based on the theory that if you ban something it seems all the more desirable. For example, when my girls were babies I swore they would never play with Barbies. One play date at a friend's house soon put paid to that when they discovered the 12" creatures that were 'the most beautiful dolls in the world'. Sigh.

Anyhow, fast forward a few years and the Teenager is now 16 (nearly 17 as she keeps reminding me) and as she starts college in September she's been looking for a part-time job. She's sent off dozens of applications and had a couple of interviews and today she got the news she's been waiting for - she's got her very first job.

At McDonalds.

Keeping it simple

2013-04-30T18:12:00.003+01:00

“Sometimes, the simple things are more fun and meaningful

than all the banquets in the world ...”

― E.A. Bucchianeri

This evening, after a difficult few days, I needed to remind myself that pleasure can be sought in the most simple of things.

Watching a starling on the bird feeder. Such beautiful colours.

Finding the first camelia in the garden.

Watching the ducks and ducklings on the pond.

Taking advantage of a beautiful spring evening - perfect for a walk with Tessie....

...and enjoying a few minutes of calm.

Then coming home to a quiet house and a cup of tea.

What do you do to relax?

What doesn't kill me makes me stronger

2013-04-29T19:08:00.002+01:00

It's been a difficult couple of days. Difficult being a euphemism for bloody awful.

Up until quite recently I would have been able to tell you what was going on, and you would (as you always did) offer support and advice. We could have discussed the details and decided on the best way forward, or alternatively you would read and understand that I just needed an outlet. Somewhere to vent, to rage and shout about how angry I was and in all honesty it was the main reason I set this blog up - I needed support, and I always got it from you in bucket loads.

But last year I told you my fears of losing the anonymity I'd enjoyed on this blog, and so it has turned out to be the case. A few weeks ago Tall Daughter went to visit her paternal grandparents only to find them logged onto notSupermum on their pc. Somehow, somewhere along the grapevine they have been told about it and it doesn't take a genius to figure out who else will also know by now.

So instead all I can say is that we are hurting. We're caught up in a difficult and unpleasant situation that I appear to have little or no control over. We've cried, we've lost hours of sleep through worry and today we're bone tired. Physically and mentally tired.

I did consider taking some legal advice but the new Legal Aid guidelines introduced this month seem to have put paid to that.

I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, only to say that sometimes what you see on the outside of a situation is not what's happening in reality. We put on a brave face because that's what you do, and if we told everyone some of the things that happen it would sound like exaggeration.

It's at times like this I want to pack up and move to another part of the world. If only.

The April garden ~ planting, painting and planning ahead

2013-04-29T04:05:00.000+01:00

The rain has held off enough this weekend to get a few jobs done and so I got on with my garden To Do list because we all know there's nothing more satisfying than crossing jobs off a list...well, maybe crossing jobs off a list whilst eating cake.

One of the biggest jobs was to apply some wood stain to the shed as it was looking a bit tired, so I shopped around and found a huge tin of 'wax enriched timbercare' in Wilkinsons.

It cost £8 for 5L which is more than I need but at that price it was good value. I haven't used this one before but I've used other Wilko products and they've always performed well, and incidentally Wilkinsons had the best prices for the brand names such as Cuprinol and Ronseal.

This is the shed before staining. I didn't want to paint it with a coloured stain because as much as I like them I want the shed to blend into the garden rather than stand out. The garden's too small for big statements like that.

Applying the wood stain took about 2 hours, not too bad - and once it had dried I planted a new clematis against the trellis.

I bought a Clematis montana rubens from Aldi, a bargain at £4.99 and it was already quite healthy with plenty of buds on it. That's the problem with supermarkets selling plants, you go shopping to buy a pint of milk and a loaf of bread and you come home with a clematis and potting compost. No milk or bread.

Anyhow, I followed the instructions from one of my gardening books and dug a hole so that the base of the plant was 3" lower than the soil level. I put some bone meal in the hole, refilled and watered generously. I also teased out some of the growth and pushed them gently around the trellis. Apparently it's a vigorous grower with plenty of flowers so hopefully it'll give a bit of much needed colour to that part of the garden.

Then it was time to plant some other favourites that I'd bought at a local plant fair. I love this garden but there are some plants missing that I absolutely adore so I've been busy buying them and finding the ideal spot.

I put the iris in this semi circular bed right next to the seating area because it already has some cottage garden plants such as hellebores, aquilegia and veronica so I thought it would fit right in. According to the picture on the plant fair stall the flower is a lovely pale blue.

The dicentra spectabilis was planted in a neglected little area, between the shed and the tree. I hope it does well there. I haven't decided where to put the fuschia yet, I might repot it for now and decide when it's more established.

And here's the final result. The shed has been stained, the dicentra and clematis have been planted and I placed this verbena at the front. It had been in the front garden but I think it looks better here.

Anyway, here's where I'm up to with the list:

1. ~~Clean the patio table and chairs~~. Done!
2. Get the new bird house attached to an outside wall.
3. ~~Give the new lawn its first cut.~~ Done!
4. Buy some wood stain for the side gate.
5. Buy (and apply) a light coloured wood stain for the interior of the shed.
6. Reorganise, tidy and declutter the shed.
7. ~~Consider staining the shed exterior.~~ Done!
8. Decide what to do with the raised deck area.
9. Buy a small garden bench.
10. ~~Hang my lovely Green Man plaque (which I brought with me from the old house) onto the wall.~~ Done!

So I'm making progress. But take a look at the inside of the shed - gah! That's definitely a job for when I have a week off work!

What does your garden to-do list look like?

Guest post: the Norfolk Broads - a perfect place to get away from it all

2013-04-28T16:02:00.001+01:00

Peace. Quiet. Tranquility. Calmness. They’re words that have been used in thousands of travel guides and millions of brochures. From the beaches of Mexico to the coves of Thailand, everyone wants you to know that their destination is the most serene experience possible.

And that’s great. But what if you want to stay in the UK? Where’s a good place to get from it all? Where can you take your family for a relaxed summer break?

Well, a recent study found that Three Rivers in Hertfordshire and Maldon in Essex were among the most peaceful local authorities in the UK. But top of the peaceful league was Broadland in Norfolk - home to much of the Norfolk Broads.

Secret national treasure

A lot of people probably think of the Broads as some kind of bleak and boring wilderness. But they’d be wrong; this beautiful and laid-back region of Norfolk is fast on its way to national treasure status.

The Norfolk Broads are often overlooked both as an area of of beauty and a family holiday destination. In a way, that’s actually part of its charm and attraction. As this new peace report suggests, however, it’s an area that deserves a little more attention.

So what are they? Where are they? And what can you do there? Interestingly, although you’ll hear a fair number of people talk about the ‘natural’ beauty of the Broads, this 300 square kilometre area has actually arrived at its current look after some intensive reconstruction.

About 50 years ago researchers discovered that medieval workers dug all across the region to produce peat for their fires. The digging areas later flooded and formed the landscape we now know as the Broads.

A wet wonderland

What are the Broads, then? It’s a sprawling expanse of peaceful nature; a wetland wonderland of wildlife, windmills and whimsical afternoons spent enjoying the slow pace of life you find in this part of the world.

The Broads actually covers a pretty huge area, stretching all the way from Sutton and Wroxham at its northernmost points to Great Yarmouth and Reeham in the south, and taking in rivers like the Thurne, Bure, Yare and Waveney.

The best way to explore is probably by boat. Boating holidays on the Norfolk Broads have been popular for decades, and Richardson’s Boating Holidays are one of the region’s leading boating brand. This family-run business started out in 1947, and today maintain a fleet of over 300 boats.

It doesn’t sound peaceful, does it? Hundreds of boats? Aren’t you always bumping into each other? Well, no actually. While you certainly cruise by other boaters on the Broads, a few hundred boats spread over hundreds of square kilometres means that you’ll have plenty of room to sit back, relax and steer your way round the gorgeous waterways of East Anglia.

Going at your own pace

The great thing about boating on the Broads is the sense of freedom and leisurely adventure: you just cruise along at your own pace and moor up when you want. It’s all pretty low-stress, too - there are no locks to worry about - and every day you can pick a new route, with only fate knowing exactly where you’ll end up.

In between gentle river cruising, watching the swaying reeds and peacefully lapping water, there’s a world of local food and drink to enjoy. While cooking up a tasty breakfast on-board is popular among regular boaters, some would argue experiencing the riverside pubs and restaurants can be the highlight of the trip.

And who can blame them? On a warm summer afternoon, stopping off to enjoy some hearty food and cool, condensation-dripping drinks in a quaint beer garden by river is probably as good as it gets in rural England. Even on a colder, wetter day a cruise-by pub stop is a pleasure.

There are a number of celebrated pubs and restaurants on the Broads. Some of the most acclaimed by boaters include the Acle Bridge Inn, The Ferry Inn in Horning and The Malsters at Ranworth.

Mixing it up

If this sounds a little too sedate (can there be such a thing?) there are other activities beside on-board relaxing and eating stop-offs on the Broads. The speed limit on on the Broads is a pretty pedestrian 6mph, but speed demons can get a fast-paced fix by taking in some powerboat racing Oulton Broad.

Elsewhere, nature lovers recommend wildlife-watching at Ranworth, the marshes at Upton Broads and the nature trail in How Hill. History buffs, meanwhile, will enjoy the variety of mix of heritage on offer to explore. There are historic mills and abbeys to visit, fans of great views will love climbing the church tower at Ranworth, and motor history hobbyists will be fascinated by the car museum in Caistor.

There are plenty of family excursions as well. There are a number of theme parks, such as Pleasurewood Hills, and for family animal-themed days there’s Africa Alive and the Sea Life Centre in Yarmouth.

But if these day trips and excursions sound too far the other way, just too active for you and your kids, remember that many people head to the Broads purely for the family time away from normal life. They go for the peaceful nature and relaxed pubs and restaurants by the river.

There are obviously loads of family holidays in the UK. There are lots of places you could take your children, but for a peaceful, different kind of experience the Broads seem hard to beat.

This is a guest post by Andrew Tipp

Silent Sunday ~ 28th April

2013-04-27T16:49:00.001+01:00

Me and my big mouth

2013-04-26T12:47:00.000+01:00

I have a big mouth. Not literally physically big - I can't get my fist into my mouth or eat a whole pork pie in one mouthful. No, nothing like that.

I just tend to say the wrong things at the wrong time. Sort of like a mild form of Tourette's. No really, I'm not joking.

It's something that's plagued me my whole life. I can be chatting nicely with someone and then - whoa! - I say something that comes out completely the wrong way. In my head it sounds like an okay thing to say, but as soon as it leaves my lips I realise my social faux pas.

I think one of the problems is that I'm rubbish at small talk, just can't seem to master it, and I'm also socially awkward. I'm the sort of person who avoids parties because I go from one extreme to the other, either totally unable to make conversation or talking in a very loud voice about something totally innapropriate.

Take yesterday for instance. Early morning, it's windy, I'm walking the dog. Another dog walker exchanges pleasantries "Morning, it's windy today isn't it?".

Then these words come out of my mouth: "Yes it is, mind your wig doesn't fly off!" And yes, he was as bald as a coot.

WHY ME??

And it gets worse. In the staff room at work colleagues are planning a night out. One person says another person isn't that keen to go. In my head I'm thinking "Maybe it's because they're very quiet and might not be into late nights out and heavy drinking". Unfortunately the words that come out of my mouth are: "Maybe he doesn't want to go out with a load of drunken p*issheads."

Ohhhhhh noooooo......

I wish I could tell you it ended there but I'd be lying.

After work I went to the hairdressers. I explain to the stylist - a lovely woman who I've known for years - that because my hair is so thick I need my fringe thinning out. I try to think of a nice way to say it's not quite as I wanted it but she can't hear me over the noise of the radio, people chatting and hairdryers. I raise my voice to shout over the noise, but just as the radio goes quiet and the hairdryers stop I hear myself shouting "I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU'VE DONE IT!"

The stylist looked crestfallen, the rest of the customers stared at me. Cue red face, much back tracking on my behalf and mumbled apologies. Needless to say I left a big tip.

So, today I will be spending the day in silence. I think it's for the best.

5 reasons to love catalogue shopping ~ sponsored post

2013-04-26T09:36:00.000+01:00

If you haven’t picked up a catalogue lately then this guide is just for you! Here are five top reasons why you should go back to using the best kind of shopping available.

1. High street horrors
Some people love the hustle and bustle of a busy shopping centre, but for most of us the thought of trawling the shops for hours on end can only be stressful. Even though some shopping centres are trying to ban screaming children! Using catalogues is much quicker and easier than traversing the High Street. You can simply sit back, relax and browse your favourite catalogues for those essential items.

2. Relax and enjoy
As opposed to setting off on a mission to get in and out of the town centre as quickly as possible, when you opt to use catalogues you can shop from the comfort of your cosiest armchair. As well as saving you a lot of hassle, it can even save you money as you won’t need to pay for parking or worry about getting back to your car on time!

3. Getting the best price
Another way of saving money is the fact that by shopping at home, you have the opportunity to browse the internet and compare prices. Of course, it’s entirely possible that your chosen piece from a catalogue might be cheaper in the local store but more often than not, it could well be cheaper in the catalogue. The important thing is having the chance to check before handing over your money.

4. Make returns
Many people are put off using catalogues because they feel the High Street is more convenient when you need to make returns. But these days, catalogue companies make it very straightforward for you to send goods back with no questions asked – whereas on the high street you may find yourself queueing for an extended period at the returns counter or being offered credit instead of a refund.

5. Get involved
Part of the joy of shopping is sharing your latest purchases with friends or asking their opinion on the items you plan to buy. When you shop with a catalogue, you can easily go online and send friends links to the things you like – so your shopping experience can be a shared (and informed) one.

This is a sponsored post by K & Co.

Silent Sunday ~ 21st April

2013-04-21T11:22:00.000+01:00

The April garden ~ signs of spring

2013-04-20T19:09:00.000+01:00

I can't be sure but I think spring has finally sprung. There are signs of it all over the garden - take a look.

The borders are starting to look a bit busier and there are green shoots and buds everywhere.

Here's a view of the garden from the other side, notice how the lawn has taken quite well. There are still a few patches but it seems quite healthy.

I love the delicate red flowers on the Japanese quince.

And the hellebores are in full bloom at the moment, although I think it's a shame their lovely nodding heads prevent us from seeing their beautiful faces.

Just look at how gorgeous this one is when you lift its head.

One of the plants I always have in my gardens is the allium. I just love their structural beauty, and it makes me smile to see the bulbs I planted in September are growing so well.

One of the jobs I've been putting off is pruning the bamboo. I was a bit nervous about doing it after someone said it's really difficult to do, but in the end I followed these very clear instructions for pruning clumping bamboo (which this seems to be) and it was pretty straightforward. And I kept the bamboo canes I pruned for staking other plants.

I'm not sure how clear you can see the difference, but it's much more compact. I took quite a lot from the top as it was getting very tall and tidied the sides, pruning some of the canes down to ground level.

And finally, I've crossed another job off my To Do List: I managed to get my green man plaque on the wall. I took down a rather ugly gecko ornament that I'd inherited with the garden, and managed to hang my (very heavy) green man plaque in the same spot. Much better. I'd missed seeing him looking down on the garden, but now he's back in his rightful place.

I suddenly seem to have a lot to do, and can't wait to get back in there tomorrow. What are you doing in the garden this month?

More stuff from around t'internet

2013-04-19T17:23:00.002+01:00

From one of my favourite Pinterest boards

19 tips for sleeping on the train. Number 8 is quite magnificent.

30 masterfully vandalised billboards.

I guarantee that these photos will make you go 'Awww....'

11 ridiculous, geeky names parents have actually named their children.

Very funny video for The Postal Service auditions - how many do you recognise? Think that's the only time I've liked Moby.

You've heard of death by chocolate, right? Well this is resignation by cake. Very, very cool.

If you really need more proof that Tom Cruise is barking mad, here it is.

The moment same-sex marriage became legal in New Zealand. The video brought a lump to my throat.

Getting ready for spring with Garden Trading

2013-04-16T23:00:00.002+01:00

When I was asked by Garden Trading if I'd like to cast my beady eye over their website I didn't need much persuading.

I've long been a fan of their stylish home and garden products, and they wanted to know what I thought of their outdoor range because *drum roll* they've promised me that spring is on the way! You heard it here first folks!

Right, well here's a couple of my favourites.

I'm all for encouraging wildlife into the garden, and have already set up bird boxes, feeding stations and a log pile but this cute hedgehog house (for cute hedgehogs no doubt) caught my eye. I wonder if it has an en-suite?

This is the sort of thing my brother has been thinking about getting. He wants to install a log burner in the living room, and has already started chopping wood like some urban Grizzly Adams and stacking it against the garage wall. I think this log store would be more practical.

Now this is possibly my favourite item on the whole site. This gorgeous potting bench with a zinc top puts mine to shame. Is it not a thing of beauty? I am wrong to lust after a potting bench? Yes? Okay then...

This retro Belfast Light would look perfect just outside our back door, and would replace the nasty plastic light we have at the moment.

And finally, one of the things on my current garden To Do List is to find a nice bench, and this folding bistro bench fits the bill perfectly. Love the muted colour too.

This post is sponsored by Garden Trading, just in case you hadn't noticed, but all opinions are my own.

There but for the grace of God...

2013-04-15T23:30:00.005+01:00

24 years ago today my eldest brother attended the Liverpool v Nottingham Forest football match held at Hillsborough stadium. 96 football fans lost their lives that day. I was on holiday at the time and, in those days before mobile phones, I spent a frantic few minutes trying to find a payphone to call my parents and check for news of him. Thankfully he was safe.

12 years ago my youngest brother was driving into New York City when he saw what looked like smoke billowing from a tower and stopped to take a photo. It was 11th September 2001.

And now today another tragedy is unfolding in Boston. At the finishing line of the Boston marathon two explosions have caused carnage, with some fatalities and many severe injuries. And once again, a family member was there. Or should have been, had it not been for his hangover from a party the night before, my cousin would have been there at the finishing line - as planned - cheering the runners on.

I don't know what it all means but somehow it seems crazy. Three major disasters and somehow we've been lucky. Somehow we have missed disaster by a hair's breadth when so many others haven't.

My thoughts tonight are with the people of Boston and the families who haven't been as lucky.