NOT WITHOUT INCIDENT

the graduate

2013-04-30T02:38:00.001+10:00

I promise I haven't abandanoned my blog! My life's been incredibly full-on the last couple months and I just haven't found the time (or motivation) to update. I'm halfway through with the first semester of my master's, and it's been a killer, to put it lightly. All I can say is, I'm newly inspired to look for my first graduate job, I think I'm finally done with school for good!

In other news, I graduated! I am now a holder of a Bachelor of Arts degree. t's so hard not to be a little bit cynical about it, but I can't still can't help but feel proud; my entire educational career has pretty much led up to this point.

There are a few things they don't tell you about the cap and gown, like the four arm holes in the gown. Why?! I'm already stressed about not looking like a fool at graduation, and now I'm supposed to worry about whether I've got my arms through the right arm holes? And a tip about the cap -- get the right size! When I was getting fitted for my cap, the guy asked me if it fit...well, I wasn't exactly an expert of graduation cap fit; it wasn't falling off at that exact moment, so I said yes. That wasn't my finest moment. For the rest of the day, every time I moved my head even the slightest inch, I could feel the cap start to slide off; that's why I'm holding onto it (for dear life) in most of these photos. The walk on stage went by like a blur because I was so preoccupied with what felt like balancing a plate on my head. I shook hands with the Vice Chancellor and had no idea what he said to me, the whole experience was such a blank, all because of the stupid cap! In the end though, everything turned out fine, my hat didn't fall off, and I get a mildly interesting anecdote from my graduation -- can't complain about that. :)

first

2013-03-06T08:57:00.000+11:00

I started uni again last week, and maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm starting a whole new degree, but I'd been feeling very blasé and unmotivated about the prospect of endless readings and assignments for the rest of the semester. On my first day of class, I couldn't find the room to one of my seminars, so I just skipped it. That was extremely smart of me. But this week I've started to get back into the rhythm of things -- I'm currently on top of all my readings, I'm finding my subjects a lot more fascinating than I'd expected, and I already have some idea of how I want to go about my first assignment. We'll see how long my studiousness lasts (to be frank, it'll probably taper off by the next couple weeks), but for now I'm kind of enjoying it.

River Island top
Lee shorts
thrifted Wittner sandals

a cautionary tale

2013-02-22T09:24:00.000+11:00

Having not been blogging regularly all summer, I find myself paralyzed when I actually make an attempt to post. I've started this entry half a dozen different ways, and everytime I've deleted it because it's almost as if I've forgotten that people don't actually care about the words I write, just the pictures. On the bright side, that means I've given myself license to ramble!

I wore this outfit to see The Hobbit one evening with a couple of friends, right before my very first overnight shift at work. I'm clearly amazing at prioritizing. The prospect of being up all night terrified me a little, and I downed an ungodly amount of coffee in an effort to steel myself against inevitably sleepiness. I found out later from a coworker that this is a very very bad idea as the caffeine will prevent you from being able to sleep afterwards, which is even worse if you're working two or three or four overnights in a row. Needless to say, staying up for the next 24 hours taught me my lesson, and since then I've never used caffeine to help me stay awake at work.

Temt top
American Apparel skirt
Oasis shoes

nautical skirt

2013-02-10T17:35:00.000+11:00

One of my birthday presents was a brand new lens -- I'm well on my way to becoming a real fashion blogger with my 50mm f/1.8 lens, haha. Now all I need is the photographer boyfriend and I'm all set! But to be serious, it really is the quintessential portrait lens, everything comes out gorgeous and dreamy, it's kind of easy to pretend that I live in some sort of fairytale for a few minutes each day.

Seamless topic change... I made this skirt! It's probably my absolute proudest achievement to date (oh god, I lead such an exciting life, don't I?) -- I ordered the fabric off Etsy and the moment it arrived I spent the rest of the day feverishly sewing it together. I don't own a sewing machine so I did everything by hand -- it took a dozen hours and was truly a labor of love, but I'm ecstatic with the way it turned out; it fits perfectly and is exactly the kind of thing I want to wear all the time. These pictures were taken about three weeks ago, and I've probably worn this skirt about half a dozen times already.

I still don't have internet at my house yet, so updating might be a bit sporadic, but there are many more posts on the way!

Modcloth top
Topshop belt
handmade skirt
Nine West shoes

red polka dots

2013-01-30T13:36:00.001+11:00

I've been a bit absent lately, I know -- that's because we've moved! The past couple of weeks have been filled with nonstop working and packing, and finally everything's done. Well, just about... we're still waiting for internet, but we should be connected by the first of the month. I'm so excited to show you my new room, new house, and new neighborhood! :)

A few updates on my life lately:

I turned 21 a couple weeks ago and received some absolutely beautiful presents, which I'll be sharing on the blog soon. I've always felt disappointingly same-ish every birthday, but maybe because 21 is the last 'milestone' birthday, I do feel a little more mature. It's like I've accepted that I'm not a child anymore.

I also joined the (not very exclusive) iPhone club as a congrats-on-your-employment! gift to myself, and what was the first app I downloaded? Instagram, of course. :) I'm @notwithoutincident, and I'd love for you to follow along.

I've been working a lot these past few months, saving up for what's promising to be the holiday of a so-far lifetime. That's all I'm saying for the moment, I don't want to jinx it :)

Talk more later!

block

2013-01-17T22:26:00.000+11:00

And so continues the summer of museums! This time we visited the Museum of Australian Currency Notes. A couple of inconveniently-timed moves earlier in my life meant that my formal education was completely devoid of Australian history, so this exhibit was especially helpful in filling in some of my knowledge gaps.

A few snaps of the exhibit...

black & blue

2013-01-16T20:42:00.000+11:00

Angie took these at the train station coming back from IKEA. Haven't you heard -- that's where the cool kids hang out! Well, we're just in it for the meatballs. :)

With working around four days a week, I've gotten really used to not wearing bright lipstick on a regular basis, to the point where when I go to put it on, it feels weird and overdone. Which is for the best, I suppose, now that we're in the midst of summmer and I'd rather not have bright pink melting off my lips. Even so, I'm still taking time to get used to photos of me without my lipstick -- at the moment I feel like in these shots I look weird and underdone, ha. ;D

the justice & police museum

2013-01-03T12:00:00.000+11:00

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Woo, more museums! I seriously have about another few museum posts lined up, so sorry if you hate museums, ha, but there's going to be a copule more being posted.

The Justice & Police Museum was converted from an old jail/courthouse/police station, and tells the story of the Australian prison system during the last couple centuries. The pictures above are of a temporary exhibit of Australian celebrities painted in classic crime poses (ie. from vintage book covers and movie posters).

And below are Angie and I posing in the actual courthouse where they sentenced people.

Below, I'm wearing an Avocado cardigan, Zara top, American Apparel skirt, and Topshop loafer flats.

The Museum has an extensive database of information about convicts -- mugshots, what crime they committed, weapons, etc.

Below is us in an actual cell. I'm kind of hoping they had some sort of mattress, because that wooden bed thing was rough.

Some more pictures of the museum section.

The death mask of the (in)famous Pyjama Girl, a murder victim found in a set of Chinese silk pajamas.

The mask and muzzle-thing was a punishment for convicts who broke rules -- it was a way of dehumanizing you and heightening your anonymity so that others wouldn't empathize with you.

And a few last shots of us before we finished for the day...

happy 2013!

2013-01-01T10:35:00.000+11:00

the australian museum

2012-12-28T23:47:00.000+11:00

I hope you had a great and food-filled Christmas, I didn't do anything (as usual) but it's always nice to have a couple of guilt-free do-nothing days. :)

These pictures are from a trip to the Australian Museum about...a month ago... It's usually more of a kids thing; school groups come here all the time. But since I'd never been before, we figured we'd make a day of it.

Below I'm wearing a Valleygirl cardigan, ASOS shirt & skirt, and Topshop loafer flats.

What did the late Triassic smell like? Answer: toilets. You know that fake pine-scented air freshener they always spray in public bathrooms? It's that, pretty much.

And below, the requisite silly posing with fake and real taxidermied animals.

They had a section where you could hold and play with things! Obviously I went for the Hamlet pose with the skull... ;D

We are so talented. Black crayon was mine...

...And some gift shop shenanigans. $100 koala, anyone?

arty pt. 2

2012-12-13T08:45:00.000+11:00

Cassie and I went back to the Art Gallery a month ago -- it's so big that we can only really take in one floor at a time; previously we looked at more classical paintings and sculptures, and on our second trip, we took in modern art.

I caught Cassie's hand while she was taking a phone shot, but I really like the way it turned out. If I were an art bullshitter, I'd say something about the voyeuristic nature of art, being on the outside looking in therefore never getting the 'authentic' experience of art but then again every individual experience is one's own and thus authentic so who am I to judge what's real and what's not? Yeah, I should've become an art critic, haha.

Now this little exhibit was something else. The artist had actually constructed a basement in the middle of the exhibition floor, with hallways to walk through and about half a dozen rooms to explore. It was absolutely pitch black aside from a couple of well-placed lights, and the smell, the grime, and the whole dank atmosphere was incredibly realistic and a little spooky.

If I remember it right, it's the story of a pedophile-rapist-murderer and his victim. The body covered by the bag was placed right at the entrance of the basement -- you can sort of see where it tents up at the crotch...it's slightly unsettling.

We spent the next ten minutes blindly stumbling through this basement, using our phones for light. There were dusty mirrors in strategic corners to make us jump, dirty toilets and toolboxes and stairs that led nowhere. And then we came upon the body.

In the photo below (left), the placard is a little hard to read, but it says, "Fork for eating human flesh." (!!!) And on the right, a statement about the sexualization/objectification of young girls...or something to that effect, I'm sure.

Afterwards, we swung by St. Mary's Cathedral, where we listened to a service from outside whilst taking dozens upon dozens of narcissistic selfies. There was a wedding photoshoot going on; I feel the urge to qualify that it was an Asian shoot, so you can imagine all the glamorous wistful, 'looking into middle distance' poses that went on. We had a good laugh about that...

a walk by the bay

2012-12-08T23:33:00.000+11:00

Here's a different sort of post for today. I've talked a little about moving; my parents are having a brand new house built, and we're hoping to move in by early next year. So for the past couple weeks, I've been taking walks and sort of 'discovering' this little neighborhood that I've lived in for the last four years. A bit of a goodbye thing, I guess, but that sounds incredibly overwrought considering we're literally moving ten minutes away into the next suburb over.

My walks have really become a testament to the fact that you can live somewhere for so long and never realize or appreciate what you have. I 'discovered' this lovely little bay about five minutes away from my house, and my mind is still reeling at the fact that it's been here all this time and I've never even known about it.

And of course, I took my camera along to capture a few details...

a last day

2012-12-06T17:12:00.002+11:00

It's been awhile! I wore this on my last day of classes of my undergraduate degree (!), which was (embarrassingly enough) nearly a month ago. The outfits that I'm going to be sharing soon are all stockpiled from the last month or so -- to be honest, I haven't been feeling very 'fashion-y' lately. I got a job about a month ago (my first ever! about time, right?!?!?), so I've been busy with work and that just doesn't leave me with very much time or energy to devote to putting together interesting outfits. It's a little sad to say, but nowadays I get dressed for the sole purpose of not being naked. I left the house in sweatpants twice this week. Yeah.

When I'm not working, I'm exploring the city. Sydney city has a stupid amount of museums and interesting things to see and do, and I can't believe it's taken me this long to become curious about it all. Back in the day, hanging out with friends esssentially meant going shopping, but now that I've got a regular income, somewhat paradoxically I'm a lot less willing to spend my money. So we make an effort to seek out cheap/free things to do, and museums fit the bill perfectly. I've been to more museums in the past month than I have in the last two, three years...and I'll be sharing all of that on the blog in the very near future!

In online-y news, I've updated my blog design a bit after falling hard in lust with the color orange. It's been my favorite color for basically my entire life, but I've been up to my eyeballs in interior decoration and design ever since I found out that that we'll be moving into a new house soon. I'm so impatient to paint my brand new bedroom walls bright orange that I figured I could sate my appetite a bit with some virtual redecorating. I love the way it's turned out, and not I'm champing at the bit to move!

And in online-y news part two, I finally joined Twitter! I haven't actually tweeted yet; to be frank, the only reason I signed up was just to follow all the Survivor contestants. I'm not going to guarantee that I'll ever actually tweet, but if, you know, you want to keep updated with any nuggets of wisdom that I might drop, you can find me here.

Making a promise to put more effort into regular blogging! See you soon! xx
Modcloth top
thrifted vintage skirt (shortened)
ASOS belt
Dorothy Perkins shoes

the highest tea

2012-11-26T23:16:00.000+11:00

thrifted Jay Jays top / thrifted Review skirt / eBay belt / Prada shoes

These shoes hurt like absolute hell, but they were so worth it! As a (belated) birthday present, I took Angie to high tea at the Sydney Tower Eye (300m/1,000ft up!), so it literally was high tea. It's such a tourist-y thing to do, I know, but Sydney is such a beautiful city that it seems a shame not to make the most of it just because we live here. I've been here for four years and there are so many things I haven't done and so many things I haven't seen; Sydney might be here forever but I certainly won't be -- it can be my summer holiday bucket list.

We took a wedge-shaped elevator up to the top (which only took 45 seconds, but the claustrophobia!), and oh my goodness, the views were absolutely spectacular. It was a slightly surreal to see all these recognizable landmarks so tiny and toy-like, it's like anything can appear insignificant from a distance.

red white navy

2012-11-09T14:32:00.000+11:00

On the day I wore this outfit, I walked past a girl wearing this exact dress. Gah, it was absolutely mortifying! I refused to make eye contact and she didn't look my way, but it's one of those gut feelings -- she so knows! Looking back on it, I probably should've tried to diffuse the situation, said something like, "Hey, dress twins! Asos, right?" But hindsight can be infuriatingly useless when you can't get your shit together in the moment.
Avocado cardigan
ASOS dress (shortened) & belt
Oasis shoes

big bow

2012-11-05T15:36:00.000+11:00

I've been away for a bit, but when you get out of the habit of posting every other day, it's kind of hard to get back in it. I handed in my last assignment a couple days ago -- still got a week left of classes, but I'm basically done with the semester now. It feels strange to say that it's also the end of my degree; I mean I've been saying it for months, but it's finally starting to sink in that it's all real and actually happening. I'll be graduating from university. Deep breaths...
Valleygirl cardigan
Dorothy Perkins top & shoes
Topshop shorts & bow brooch

goofing around

2012-10-26T23:41:00.000+11:00

The last post was a bit of a downer (understatement of the century?) but it felt...cathartic... to be able to finally write it down and accept that it was real. And now for some more upbeat stuff!

I don't have proper outfit shots of this look because I decided that it wasn't 'stylish' enough to make the blog. The weather was awful (16 degrees and windy and rainy!) so I chose to be comfortable...and that's how I justified legwarmers. Whatever.

But anyway, I spent the afternoon with Cassie and this was the day we took over 650 photos. Here are the highlights; enjoy!

I got a chicken hot dog from Snag Stand (oh my goodness, freaking delicious!), and then we went to Lindt, which has become our tradition.

Did a bit of tourist-ing in and around the State Library. As you can see, the side ponytail's become my new favorite thing. It's my very own homage to the 1980s (along with a cropped cardi in that particular shade of aqua-ish green, and jeans with legwarmers and sneakers).

Silliness at the Botanic Gardens. And suddenly I was vividly reminded of how much I used to adore climbing things.

And finally, sat around a bit at Circular Quay, next to the Opera House.
A Wear jacket, Louche cardigan, ASOS top & socks, Topshop jeans, Converse shoes || photos by Cassie & me

let's try honesty

2012-10-23T22:39:00.002+11:00

WARNING: SERIOUS CONTENT AHEAD

I was talking with my friend today and the topic of bullying came up, and it brought to the surface so much shit from my childhood and adolescence that I thought was long since buried, but apparently not...so I figured I'd self-therapize and do a bit of a thoughtdump here.

My experience with bullying has almost exclusively been racially-based. Looking back, I can't believe how incredibly naive I was. When I was little, I didn't know about racism, I didn't realize that making fun of someone because of their race was even a thing. It was just like, why would you even?? At ten, moving to Mississippi set my head straight and rectified all of that ignorance.

One of my most vivid early memories of starting school in MS was, other than all the standard new kid gauntlet, was essentially being interrogated about my eyes. One classmate asked something to the effect of, "Why are your eyes so weird?!" And I was trying to explain, to the best of my limited, 10-year-old ability, about monolids and how they were pretty common in Asia, etc. It was vaguely uncomfortable to be gawked at by the other kids -- I usually liked to be at the center of attention, so at the time I had a hard time trying to pinpoint exactly why I felt so uncomfortable. The big moment was when our teacher joined in on our conversation, and she'd apparently been just as ignorant about the monolid as the kids. So she came up at me, literally three inches away from my face, inspecting my eyelids. At one point she actually freaking poked my eye.

I had never felt like less of a human being than in that moment, being poked at like a specimen and talked about like I wasn't even fucking there. You know, I've been whistled/honked at when I wear short skirts, I've been hit on by creepy drunk guys -- and we women aren't supposed to tolerate that because it objectifies us. But those experiences of being an objectified woman will never compare to that moment in which I didn't even feel truly human. I was being objectified at ten years old. At one point I would have leapt up to my classmates' and teacher's defense: they didn't know any better, they thought it was completely normal to say/do that, they were just curious, etc. But now I realize that what's truly disturbing is the fact that it is so normalized...it escapes criticism.

I also got the standard "Ching-chong" mocking shit, but I also had cruel chants made up about me. "Open your eyes!" "Flat face, tight eyes!" It makes me want to cry even thinking about it now, how utterly careless kids can be in their cruelty, like their momentary amusement was worth the permanent emotional scarring of another human being. Maybe it sounds like I'm overreacting, you know like all kids are like that, you should just ignore them, etc. But for me it was near-daily abuse, and it lasted fucking years. They taunted me in front of teachers, who never did anything about it. They taunted me in front of someone who I considered my very best friend, who never stood up for me. It got to the point where I dreaded going to school in the mornings, and I was looking forward to weekends with such an intense desperation because it was a couple days of respite from constant insults.

My experiences made me ashamed to be Chinese. It's so difficult to type that out, like writing it legitimizes it. I remember never wanting to share my middle name, because it was Chinese and therefore shameful. I remember never wanting to talk about what I had for dinner the night before, because it was Chinese rather than 'normal people food' (as my sister called it), and therefore it was shameful. I remember refusing to speak Chinese in front of my friends because I was ashamed of it. I remember praying to God, "Please, I wish I was white...please, make me white." I didn't even believe in God, but if praying was what it took, then I was willing to do it.

I'm not entirely sure what kind of conclusions I want to draw from this. I'm not going to say that "It gets better," because who am I to promise something like that? I can't even say that it's made me a better person; like I'm more courageous, more likely to stand up for other bullying victims because I know exactly what they're going through. I'm ashamed to admit that I've never stood up for anyone in that situation, even when I could have. My sense of self-preservation dominates, and I just can't bring myself to rise above the mentality of "as long as it isn't me." Maybe it's the self-hatred that's been instilled in me or the self-worth that's been stolen from me, but I find it so hard to believe that a broken girl who's been beaten down to the very edge of sanity has even the remotest chance of making a difference. What saddens me most is the fact that there are so many kids who have gone through exactly what I've gone through, that none of my experiences are unique.

There's so much that I haven't talked about, all these fragmented thoughts floating around in my mind that don't really make sense on their own. I can't hate the kids who bullied me because they're not evil people, they're a product of a particular socio-economic, and culturally homogeneous, environment. How can I feel bitter about kids who'd claw their way into social acceptance by pushing somebody else out? I would've done exactly the same. And exploiting physical differences, there's honestly nothing easier. It's an absolutely vicious reality....all you can do is try to survive it.
thrifted Ally cardigan
Modcloth top
ASOS skirt
Forever New tights
Valleygirl belt
Oasis shoes

narcissism much?

2012-10-22T13:40:00.001+11:00

Modcloth top, American Apparel skirt, Oasis shoes || photos by Cassie

I was talking to Cassie the other day about how boring our lives would be without a camera. We're all about free entertainment, so our hangout days have essentially devolved into a routine that goes something like, 'visit some vaguely photogenic location and go crazy with the camera.' We can take hundreds upon hundreds of photos in a couple hours (650+ was a recent high, ha!), and we both agreed that we couldn't really imagine subjecting any of our other friends to an activity that's so rooted in pure narcissism (hey, facebook photo albums won't add themselves!!)...but at least we have each other, and I'm glad that it's sort of 'our thing.' These are some shots we took from our day in Darlinghurst and Hyde Park.

stripes

2012-10-20T16:26:00.000+11:00

These were taken (aaages ago) with a self-timer and my old lens, you can see how out-of-practice I've become -- the two best shots and I'm not even looking at the camera. Ahhh, back to essaying!
Etam Weekend top
Topshop skirt & shoes

the state of blogging

2012-10-17T09:36:00.001+11:00

For bloggers out there, does the thought ever cross your mind, "What the hell am I doing?!" That's how I've been feeling for the past couple of weeks -- it's like my motivation to blog has just disappeared. Writing up the actual post has never really been my favorite part of blogging and nowadays I find it pretty much unbearable. Even taking photos has become a chore to do. Which worries me a little because in all the time I've been doing this blog (nearly three years!), taking photos has always been the best bit. I realize that I'm essentially complaining about nothing, and this is pretty much the pinnacle of first world problems. That this is the biggest problem in my life right now speaks pretty well of what my life is like. Either way, I thought I'd get that off my chest and sort of talk about why I haven't been blogging regularly recently. I'll heep chugging along though (I've got a backlong of around half a dozen outfits that won't post themselves) -- hopefully my inspiration returns.

Soaked in Luxury top
American Apparel skirt
ASOS belt
Topshop shoes

flashy

2012-10-13T21:01:00.000+11:00

I'm pretty sure that this is the first time I've used flash in my outfit photos, I can spew bullshit about stylistic/artistic direction, but reality's a bit more boring -- it was raining outside so I didn't have much of a choice. And as always when the photo quality doesn't meet my ridiculous expectations, time to edit the crap out of them! A Wear jacket
Hollister shirt
Topshop jeans
Seychelles boots

pink & green & future talk

2012-10-12T06:47:00.000+11:00

These pictures are from last week...or maybe the week before? Is it possible to look at pictures of myself and feel envious? Because it's been cold and gray and dreary lately, and I've been in jackets and jeans all week. Where did the sun go?!

In other news, I think I've finally figured out what I want to do about my whole school situation. I'll be finishing my degree at the end of this semester, and so I've decided to get my Master's! My uni is starting up a new program next year where they'll not only pay your tuition for the Master of Research degree, you also get a stipend ($8,000 in the first year; potentially $16,000 in the second) for doing it. At the moment I'm trying to decide on what my concentration should be; it's between Politics & International Relations...and Policing, Intelligence and Counter Terrorism. I'm leaning towards the latter -- how freaking exciting does that sound?! :) I've already applied for a job so hopefully I'll be making money during the holidays, and I'm also looking in to doing some internships and work experience things as well.

Hopefully everything works out all right... But it just feels so satisfying to finally have some direction in my life, and for the first time, I'm actually looking forward to the future! :)
Dorothy Perkins top & shoes
handmade skirt

flares

2012-10-11T06:48:00.000+11:00

A Wear jacket
Polo Ralph Lauren top
Free People pants
Nine West shoes

washed out pink

2012-10-08T09:51:00.000+11:00

Ah, so blogging seems to have gotten away from me these past couple of weeks. I've been so busy with assignments, and then my laptop's just got another virus, so I'm currently posting from our gloriously dusty old desktop.

I wore this a few Mondays ago to watch Ruby Sparks with a couple friends. This dress is comfortable and cottony and has an elastic waistband, which makes it perfect for lounging around like a slug in movie theater seats.
vintage dress
Oasis shoes