It’s a rare move when I swap out ingredients in order to preserve calories. My philosophy, after years of learning through mistakes, has become quality over quantity. It’s actually become somewhat of a motto for my husband and myself becoming a daily practice in the kitchen and beyond (I find it particularly helpful in the closet as well).

I’d much rather eat a smaller portion of a bittersweet chocolate made liquid by the addition of hot cream and then served with more cream than a large amount of a less flavorful dessert containing ingredients that read “non-fat”. It has been my experience that I walk away from a few bites of something decadent and rich feeling very satisfied and quite okay by the fact that I left a good portion of it untouched or saved for someone else.

But what is really glorious is when you lighten a normally hefty meal without surrender the flavor or overall satisfaction. This salad has done such a marvelous thing.

It’s in these cool, gray months that my body yearns for food to comfort. Ones laden with cream and butter comfort me nicely particularly around the mid-section but there are times when I must resist such urges. With comfort food in mind I was set on a classic caesar. Slightly spicy, salty from a touch of briny anchovy and of course, creamy.

Where I would normally reach for oil and egg yolk to work the ingredients into an emulsion I grabbed greek yogurt – a very popular ingredient in our house as of late. The idea was to just replace some of the oil with the yogurt but when I tasted the mix of lemon, anchovy, garlic, dijon, parmesan, and yogurt I found no need for the oil. What I did find was a near replica of a classic caesar dressing without the addition of any rich oils or fats.

I did however top mine with a few nice slices of seared tenderloin (quality over quantity) and sat down to one of the best lunches I’ve had in quite some time.

A Lighter Caeser

This is a very forgiving recipe. Taste and adjust as you please, I promise I won’t be offended. Just remember that you want the dressing to taste strong as the romaine will tame its flavor. Top with slow-roasted tomatoes, shavings of Parmesan, roasted chicken, or steak for a complete and healthful lunch or dinner.

1/2 cup greek yogurt
2 teaspoons dijon
1 garlic clove, finely minced
1 teaspoon anchovy paste
1 Tbl fresh lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon fresh pepper
2 Tbl finely grated parmesan

In a medium bowl combine all the ingredients. Taste and adjust seasonings as desired.

Carefully combine with fresh, chopped romaine. Serve with shavings of Parmesan.

Keeps in a tightly sealed container in the fridge for one week.

If I could to speak to myself on the day of my wedding over eight years ago, this is what I would say…

I understand you’re a bit scared. You’re young and you are about to make a decision that will affect the rest of your life. You think it’s the right choice, you think you love him but what really is love? I know that’s what you are thinking because I am you.

For months leading up to the wedding day you’ve been asking everyone who would listen to help you understand what love really is. Sure he gives you butterflies and you can’t imagine not spending every day with this man. You’ve lost countless hours of sleep just clinging to his presence and not wanting to waste a moment with him. But is that really love? Is that enough to sustain a marriage that will survive moves across state lines, financial stress, young children, loss, and much more that we have yet to experience?

In case you do read this you should know that you made the right decision. But you didn’t really know love. The love you felt on the day you stared at him down the aisle, anxiously awaiting that glimmer in his eyes as he saw you for the first time in your wedding dress and the last time you weren’t his wife, that love was just the start.

At the time you thought love was how he made you feel. You questioned love the moment the butterflies didn’t flutter as rapidly as you thought they should. You resented him for shining light on parts of you that were selfish and gross. He didn’t complete you in the way you expected him to and surprisingly he didn’t completely understand you from the moment you both said, “I do.”

Love isn’t simply about how he makes you feel. I know that now. Love is a choice and love is action.

Now you realize that love is him warming up the espresso machine for you in the morning so it’s ready when you wander sleepily down the stairs. Love is how he saves the last scoop of ice cream for you, every time. Love is the way he wrestles with your sons (you have two and I can’t wait for you to meet them) after a long day of work. Love is the way he dances with your daughter (she’ll make you melt with each glance into her big brown eyes).

You slowly start to understand that when your dad told you, “Love is a choice”, he wasn’t being as unromantic as you first thought. You’ll realize that each day you have a choice. You can either choose to love Gabe and allow your feelings and actions reflect that or you can choose to allow the daily difficulties and his imperfections (yes, I know you can’t see it now, but he’s not perfect – and neither are you) to become a disease in the marriage.

Some days are better than others but over time you’ll realize that praying for and encouraging him is more useful than resenting him. You’ll start to see all the things he does for you and your family rather than focusing on what he doesn’t do. And you’ll realize that on the day you married him you really had no idea what love was and that eight years later you love him in way that you never thought possible.

It’s going to be hard. You’ll find out things about yourself that you really wish could have stayed hidden and yet, through it all you slowly become a better person. One that really knows and understands love – at least I hope that’s what happens, I’m not quite there yet.

What I do know is that no matter how tired you are, no matter how much you would just rather curl up on the couch and tune out the noise of the day, every once in awhile you need to put the kids to bed a bit earlier and ask your husband out on a date, even if that date happens at home.

You’ll plan the meal with great excitement and get inspired staring at the vibrant produce at the store while Ivy (that’s your daughter) tries her best to pull everything off the shelves and into the cart. You’ll spend the next 7 hours, on and off, preparing for a meal that you and your husband will devour in 10 minutes. He’ll appreciate every minute of your effort and you’ll love every chop of an onion and knead of the dough. You remind yourself of this moment and how many times before you’ve learned the same lesson – choosing him over your own selfish desires is what love is all about.

Menu
orange and avocado salad with shallot vinaigrette
pulled pork with a fennel, apple and raddicchio slaw on a sesame bun
piment d’espelette roasted new potatoes
caramel walnut tart with whipped creme fraiche

Plan
To eat around 8:00 pm the pork should be in by 1:30pm at the latest. So plan to put the rub on the pork that morning or the night before.
The tart and both dressings can be made the day before.
I pulled the pork out of the oven for close to an hour and set it over very low heat on the stove top while I roasted the potatoes and baked the buns.
When the pork was nearly finished we made the orange salad and enjoyed that as our first course. As the pork cooled, I finished up the cole slaw.
All that and it was gone in under 10 minutes but we’ve been eating incredible left overs for days.

Orange Salad with Avocado and Shallot Vinaigrette

1 Tbl chopped shallot
3 Tbl extra-virgin olive oil
1 Tbl fresh lemon juice
¼ teaspon salt
fresh pepper, to taste
2 large oranges
1 avocado
2 Tbl thinly sliced red onion (optional)
1 Tbl chopped Italian parsley

Combine the first five ingredients in a small bowl. Whisk together, taste, and adjust salt and pepper as needed.
Cut the peel away from the orange then slice in ¼” rounds. Arrange on two separate plates, top with sliced avocado and red onion, if using. Spoon a bit of the dressing on each plate. Top with fresh Italian parsley and serve immediately.

Pulled Pork Sandwiches with Fennel, Apple, and Radicchio Slaw

Pork Rub
for a 5-7 pound pork shoulder

3 garlic cloves, peeled
¼ teaspoon cayenne
3 Tbl paprika
3 Tbl kosher salt
1 Tbl brown sugar
2 teaspoons ground cumin
3 Tbl yellow mustard

In a morter and pestle or a food processor, mince the garlic then add the spices and salt. Stir in the mustard. Rub this over the pork and let sit for at least 1 hour or overnight in the fridge.

After the pork has bathed in the rub place in a large roasting pan and roast at 300*F for about 6 hours or until falling away from the bone.

Barbeque Sauce

1 cup apple cider vinegar
2 Tbl yellow mustard
½ cup ketchup
1 teaspoon cayenne
1 teaspoon kosher salt
½ teaspoon fresh black pepper
3 garlic cloves
1 small shallot, chopped
a few drops of natural hickory smoke

Combine all the ingredients in a medium sauce pan and simmer for 10 minutes. Set aside.

Once pork has finished roasting remove from the pan and let rest for at least 10 minutes. Add ⅔ of the bar-b-que sauce to the juices left in the roasting pan and scrape up any crusted on bits on the bottom of the pan. Simmer gently while the pork rests.
Using two forks and possibly your hands too, pull apart the pork into bite-size shreds.
Add the pulled pork into the sauce. Taste and add more sauce if you think it needs it or reserve remaining bar-b-que sauce to serve with the sandwiches.

On a freshly sliced sesame bun add a good amount of pork then top with the fennel slaw. Enjoy immediately.

Fennel, Apple and Radicchio Slaw

½ cup creme fraiche
2 Tbl mayonnaise
2 Tbl olive oil
1 Tbl apple cider vinegar
½ teaspoon kosher salt
1 Tbl lemon juice
3 green onions, sliced
1 fennel bulb, julienned
1 apple, julienned
1 cup thinly sliced radicchio

In a small bowl combine the first six ingredients. Set aside.
In a medium bowl add the fennel, apple, green onions, and radicchio. Toss with about ¼ cup dressing to start. Taste then add more as needed.
Can be made up to an hour in advance. It keeps for a day – perfect for leftovers – but doesn’t look nearly as fresh and starts to droop a bit.
The dressing could be made up to 3 days in advance.

Sesame Seed Buns
makes 9-12 buns
The point of a date night is not to exhaust yourself before the date actually happens, so I realize that after roasting a pork shoulder for 7 hours many may feel that making your own buns is just asking too much. I’m okay with that. I am, however, a bit crazy and can’t get enough of playing in the kitchen, especially when doughs are involved. So I’ve included the recipe for those who are like me or if there comes a day when you do decide to make your own buns.

2 teaspoons yeast
1 ⅓ cups warm milk
2 Tbl honey
4 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 egg, lightly beaten
4 Tbl (1/2 stick) butter, soft
2 Tbl sesame seeds
1 egg, lightly beaten (egg wash)

In the bowl of a stand mixer, whisk together the yeast, milk and honey. Let stand for 10 minutes as which point you should see lots of bubbles and some definite growth happening.
Add flour, salt, and egg and mix with the dough hook to combine. While the mixer is running on medium-low add the soft butter 1 tablespoon at a time. Scrape down the bowl then continue to mix for 8-10 minutes.
Cover with a dish towel or plastic wrap and let double, about two hours.
Roll the dough into tight balls estimating that you will get between 9-12 buns. This is just a bit under ½ cup of dough per bun.
Place on a parchment lined sheet tray (you may need two if you don’t want them to touch at all) then cover with plastic wrap and let double again, about 1 ½ hours.
When the buns are just about doubled, pre-heat the oven to 400*. Brush the buns with the additional egg and top with sesame seeds.
Bake for about 20 – 25 minutes, until deep golden on top and bottom.
Let cool on a wire rack to prevent steaming.

Piment d’espelette Roasted Potatoes
It’s worth the online order or visit to a specialty store to gather this ingredient. Similar to paprika without the intense smoke and a stronger, fresh heat in place of it. A dear friend brought this back from France and I can’t help but put it in nearly everything.
If you can’t find it you could use paprika or simply do a perfectly delicious garlic roasted potato.

1 ½ – 2 pounds new potatoes, cut in rough ½” pieces
1 ½ Tbl extra-virgin olive oil
1 ½ teaspoons piment d’espelette
¾ – 1 teaspoon kosher salt

Pre-heat your oven to 400*F. Combine all ingredients and roast on a parchment lined sheet tray making sure the potatoes are not too crowded or piled on top of one another. Roast until interior is tender and the exterior edges are crispy and deep golden in places, about 40-50 minutes.
–

*that is not my kitchen in the video. I wish it was, however.

Before saying hi to the cows casually grazing in the field, or giving the ponies much attention, before gathering a few garden scraps for the sake of making the chickens happy or giving much of a hello to my parents, I headed straight towards the walnut trees at the mini farm that is my parent’s house.

I had never before watched the process of walnuts turning from a lime-like pod to become a buttery, slightly bitter nut that I know and love. The shadow that the large leaves provided was a perfect canopy to escape the warm summer sun. In the spring we watched a flourishing insect community take roost among the branches – some bad, most good. I examined every change and anticipated when they would finally be ready, all the while gathering recipes in my mind.

Then one day when the days were gray and the ground was wet it happened. I got a text from my mom with an image of walnuts half out of their greenish-brown coverings, strewn all over the green carpeted floor under the tree, “they’re ready.”

Before long the five of us we’re making an hour long trek to the little farm with fresh walnuts as the mission. Well, it was my mission any way,  I’m sure the kids were more excited about pony and tractor rides. Either way we were all eager and excited to stretch our city legs on the farm.

Ivy and I fetched a deep wicker basket from my mom’s collection and quickly headed towards those trees. Her black boot covered feet found balance difficult as she had only recently discovered walking. Quickly realizing the mission she proudly plopped walnuts into the basket even if it meant taking one out only to plop it in again. She noticed the joy on my face and collected as many as she could understanding that something delicious was to become of these wet and wrinkled shells.

Ivy was right, something delicious did become of those walnuts. A caramel walnut tart. In my mom’s kitchen we made a vanilla scented butter crust. The sort of crust you dream about. One that doesn’t require cold butter and delicate hands and hours to chill. I’ve been known to force people to time me while making this crust – they oblige and it’s about 30 seconds. All the ingredients get dumped and stirred together, then the wet dough is patted into form. It bakes with no fear of shrinking and awards your minimal efforts with a lightly sweet, tender bite.

While the crust baked Ivy and I whisked together bittersweet chocolate, cream and creme fraiche anticipating the desire for a dark, bitter taste to balance the sweet caramel. We ate it, although not necessary. Both she and I are not ones to turn down chocolate.

Let’s talk for a moment about caramel. It can be intimidating, right? It is one of my favorite things to teach as so many are afraid to try but when they see how easy it can be it opens up a world of possibilities for them.

We start with a large, very clean sauce pan. If there is any fear of residue, wipe the interior with lemon juice or vinegar using a clean dish towel. All the utensils involved in making a caramel should be impeccably clean. In the restaurant this was the reason why we required a set of spatulas separate from the savory side – a speck of leftover anything can wreak havoc on a pot of perfectly golden caramel.

Next add your sugar, lemon juice and enough water to enable the sugar to reach the consistency of wet sand. If you add too much water don’t worry, it will just take a bit longer to caramelize. During the next few steps I like to use my hands so that I can really feel where the sugar is and what is happening in my pan – a spatula works fine if you are opposed to sugar fingers.

Stir the sugar, lemon juice and water until completely combined. Wipe down the sides of the pan with more water until you don’t feel or see any sugar granules clinging to the side. What we are fighting against is crystallization - it’s the enemy of a smooth caramel. It’s the enemy of most candy making actually. Crystallization happens when sugar caramelizes at different points. So if you have sugar that is nearly caramelized and a granule falls into the pan from off the side you may have a problem. Now, in saying all this I don’t mean to add to the intimidation of caramel making but simply to inform you of the problem and give you the proper ways to avoid it.

At this point crank up the heat and don’t touch the pan. Let the sugar dissolve then boil like crazy but don’t walk away. It happens quickly and there is no coming back from a pan of burnt sugar.

If around the sides of the pan you notice some color but the middle remains colorless, carefully swirl to mix.

The caramel is done when it has reached the color of a penny – a deep amber. You can go lighter but I like to take it to the edge, teetering the line of bitter and sweet.

Turn off the heat and add the butter, cream, and creme fraiche. You will see why we use a large pan at this point as the caramel bubbles up madly at the addition of the cold fats. Stand back until it has calmed down then carefully swirl the pan to combine. Then you are done. Perfect caramel.

Unless you are okay with warm caramel puddling all over your plate, the only down side to this recipe is needing to wait. We couldn’t and didn’t with no complaints of puddled caramel. Being a resourceful bunch we used the crust to help mop up the mess.

My recommendation is joining this rich tart with a lightly sweetened cream. If you like the mature tang of creme fraiche add a heap of that to the cream you are whipping, I find it settles the intensely sweet caramel nicely.

This tart made the long wait for ripe walnuts completely worth it. That and seeing my baby girl clenching those golden shells around her pudgy fingers. I’m already excited for next year’s harvest.

Tart shell

makes enough dough to for a 9” or 10” tart

¼ cup powdered sugar

½ cup butter (melted)

pinch salt

½ tsp vanilla

1 cup flour

In a medium bowl stir together all the ingredients. The dough will be quite wet but can easily be pressed into a tart pan or spring form pan.

Bake at 350*F for about 20-25 minutes or until lightly golden.

Let cool.

Chocolate Glaze

Not necessary to make this tart a memorable one but really what isn’t improved upon by the addition of chocolate?

½ cup heavy whipping cream

½ cup cream fraiche

7 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped

Add the chocolate to a medium bowl.

In a small sauce pan, heat the cream and creme fraiche over medium heat. Watch carefully as cream tends to bubble up and boil over quickly. When bubbles appear all over the surface, remove from the heat and immediately pour over the chocolate. Let sit for 1 minute the whisk to combine.

Can use immediately or store in a covered container in the fridge for 2 weeks. Makes a great ice cream topping or hot chocolate base.

Caramel Filling

The recipe in the video had double the caramel but I found it to be a bit too much. As it is this recipe is quite rich but I like this ratio of crust, caramel, and cream much more pleasant.

1 cup sugar

1/4 cup water

1 tbl lemon juice

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter, cut into pieces

¼ cup heavy cream

1 tablespoons crème fraîche

1 cup walnuts, toasted, roughly chopped

Place sugar, water, and lemon juice in a heavy, large saucepan. Stir to combine. Wash down the sides of the pan until no sugar remains. Set on high heat and boil without stirring until syrup is deep amber color, about 7-10 minutes depending on the power of your stove and the pan you use. If the sugar around the sides begin to caramelize more rapidly, gently swirl the pan to mix.

Remove from heat. Whisk in butter, cream and creme fraiche (mixture will bubble vigorously).  Stir in walnuts. Let cool until slightly thick before pouring into prepared crust. Let cool until caramel is set. If you are really eager you can pop it in the refrigerator for a bit.

Serve with lightly whipped cream.

Atlas Kasbah, Agadir

Anticipating what is said to be one of the worst snow storms that Seattle has seen in decades I find myself sitting on the couch, waiting for the snow with a beer in hand and falling deeply back into the images from Morocco. I have so much more to share with you all and I feel that if I don’t do it now it may never happen as February brings with it a new set of fun excursions. (!!)

Using my journal from that trip as a guide I’m reliving the details. At the end of each day I made a scattered list of all that that day entailed. I’ve learned from previous experiences that I tend to quickly forget the details and it’s in those where the real journey lies.

Each day was packed full of new sites, new sounds, and not enough sleep, leaving little time to write so what I do have written down is quite cryptic but it’s enough to help me return to that place.

On the fourth day we woke up at the Atlas Kasbah in Agadir. The stucco-like facade covered an exterior that resembled a castle. The surrounding landscape reminded me of the Umbrian region of Italy where I would look out over the cliffs of Orvieto and see vineyards, monasteries, and long winding roads leading to places I wanted to explore. Here the rolling hills weren’t covered in grape vines but of Argan trees and plants that looked prickly even from the distance of where I stood. The varying brown hues and absence of much green was a welcoming reminder that I was indeed in Africa.

The Atlas Kasbah is the dream of a husband and wife team. The kasbah is welcoming and immediately sets the scene of a place for respite and rejuvenation. I encouraged such behavior and found myself laying by a pale blue pool in the middle of November having just had a traditional Moroccan spa treatment. I lay back in the chaise for a moment soaking in the warmth of the sun and this rare moment of complete and utter relaxation.

You see those moments are a distant memory when three children are my daily routine. I was torn between the desire to just sit in that moment or record a few of the details in my journal as a way to sort of safe-keep that moment so I could live off of it for the months to come.

I anticipated the points in my days when I would need to stop and find a piece of that sun-filled happy place in order to find perspective in the midst of a messy house, screaming children, and an uncooked dinner.

Briefly I wrote of that hot sun and how the gentle breeze would interrupt at just the right moment, never allowing you to get too hot but making you miss its warmth before it returned. It took only a few seconds but I wrote of the pool and the vibrant gardens, the rosy orange glow of the kasbah at sunset, and the smell of Moroccan basil – softer and more subtle than our varieties. Then I lingered in that place cementing it in my mind and appreciating every aspect of it.

The scribbled details weren’t much but as the snow threatens and the kids perform their nightly regime of warding off sleep I am so thankful that I wrote.

Our last two days were in Marrakech and it is here that I vowed to return to this country. It seems that in every foreign country I visit it is always the city that I most love. The energy of its people, the sounds of excitement and life, and the smells; so inviting, yet so different.

I found it hard walking as with every step I found an image that I wanted to preserve. The colors filled me with inspiration in shades of blue and orange. I picked up a few items in the souk to help me relive fragments of Morocco and its culture – a tagine, spices like harissa, and ras al hanout, mint tea, and a pair of vibrant orange pointed shoes that I wear around our house daily.

At the end of our day we found silence and calm at the Four Seasons. I snuck deep into the bed eagerly anticipating the nightly Facetime date with my family. Over the phone I kissed and hugged each of my kids. I talked to a very tired husband who spoke freely of how excited he was that only two days separated us. I was excited too but also fearful.

Right after the page in my journal detailing the scene surrounding me and the warm Moroccan sun I wrote, “I’m afraid to leave for fear I’ll never return.”

It goes without saying that I missed my family it’s just that I wasn’t ready to leave. I wanted them to fetch a plane and meet me in Morocco instead of me heading home.

What better way to leave a place than not wanting to leave? The memories of that place are forever set to induce a pleasant longing. When you talk to others about it your entire face lights up and your insides swell. It becomes a mission, of sorts, to encourage others to venture there and demand they take you with them when they do go.

I do hope to return, but for now I am living in the details and in the feeling of never wanting to leave that place.

*update* The snow came and we’re at about 5 inches or so. For Seattle that’s life changing.

*Also, I made a blurb book from images from my trip. Many you’ve seen on the blog. The reason I tell you is more of a suggestion of what to do with travel photos. Instead of sitting on my computer I now have a beautiful coffee table book to peruse at my leisure and to share with others. As far as I know you can purchase the book if you want but I don’t make much, if any, money on it. Just wanted to share.

*Finally, thank you. I feel as if I forced you all to sit through my travel slideshow but rather than fall asleep and roll your eyes (well, maybe some of you did that) I was overwhelmed by the gracious responses to these posts. Thanks so much for encouraging me to share.

*Last thing, I promise. I was graciously sent to Morocco by the Moroccan tourism board. All photos and words are my own.

I really just want you to have this. I could make you wait another day until I can successfully start AND finish this post with a tale or a thought that might actually make sense OR I could let you have it now. And I really just think you need this as soon as possible.

You should know that I gave it a valiant effort. After tonight’s attempts I now have a Google Doc entitled, “Failed Blog Entries”. Because you never know – one days failure might be another’s success.

This is just the sort of meal that belongs in January – heavy on vegetables, balancing December’s cookies and February’s chocolate, with vibrant flavors and comforting heat.  You know what I realized today? January is nearly half-way through, so what I’m saying is we really don’t have another day to spare. Who knows, the way the first half of this month has gone, you may be waiting a very long time.

So without further ado or with any ado for that matter have some kale.

Jalapeno and Lime Marinated Kale Tostada

Serves 2 very hungry people or 4 less hungry

With the aid of our juicer and this recipe we’ve been going through kale faster than we can remove those hearty stems. After a lazy soak in lime juice and spice the kale surrenders a bit of its heft while retaining a freshness that is so often lacking in food this time of year.

If you don’t care about skimping on some calories and mess you can fry the tortillas in a shallow pan and a bit of oil around 360*F until golden brown.

4 flour tortillas

2 teaspoons olive oil

Brush 4 tortillas with butter or olive oil, sprinkle with salt then bake at 400* for 10 – 12 minutes or until completely crisp.

Kale Marinade

¼ cup fresh lime juice

2 T olive oil

½ jalapeno, seeded and finely chopped

¼ cup cilantro

¼ teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon ground cumin

4 cups kale, washed, thick ribs removed and roughly chopped

Mix first 6 ingredients in a large bowl. Add the chopped kale and toss to coat. Let sit for 30 minutes.

Black Beans

2 teaspoons olive oil

2 garlic cloves

1 T shallot, finely chopped

pinch salt

1 can black beans, rinsed and drained

In a small sauce pan saute garlic and shallots in oil over medium heat until just fragrant. Add beans and simmer about 5-7 minutes, until soft and warmed through. Taste and add salt if needed, keeping in mind the kale and Cotija add a brightness and salt as well.

Assemble

1 avocado, roughly cut

1/4 cup crumbled Cotija (available at Mexican markets or many fine grocery stores. If you can’t find it you may substitute Feta or Chevre)

Place baked tortilla on plate, top with warm beans, marinated kale, chunks of avocado and about 1 Tablespoon crumbled Cotija cheese.

In the weeks leading up to my trip to Morocco it was the tagines and fragrant spices that I anticipated. Thoughts of fatty, braised chunks of lamb studded with apricots and warming harissa made the days before I left move at a pace that would make a snail appear as a sprinter.

As one can expect, the food did not disappoint. There was couscous so perfectly prepared that my satisfaction in the store bought version has been crushed. A sweet and savory b’stilla laced with chicken and showered with cinnamon and powdered sugar and a chicken tagine with french fries – that’s right, FRENCH FRIES!! – sealed my love for this vibrant country. But it was the Moroccan breakfasts that I most long to recreate now that I’m home.

Fresh squeezed orange juice greeted me nearly every morning and woke me up more effectively than three children jumping on my bed ever can. Beyond the juice there was an assortment of breads. Some resembling airy pancakes, others seemed to enjoy a leisurely bath in hot oil before settling into their position of my breakfast. With the breads there was always Amlou, honey, and assorted fruit preserves. Speaking of fruit; the hot Moroccan sun does wonders to intensify the sweetness. Bananas are nearly half the size and twice as sweet, grapes taste of candy, and the citrus requires no additional sugar to tame its pucker.

Proving that point was this salad. A simple salad made up of no more than four ingredients in stunning jewel tones and sweet, slivered dates. Its beauty drew me in but the taste left me pining for its presence during the days that followed.

Segmented grapefruit sat next to bright bites of lemon. The tartness took me by surprise as I had never simply eaten a bite of lemon, except maybe as a child to somehow impress other with my sustainability against the harsh sourness. With the addition of the dates, the entire bowl was perfectly sweet.

And then there’s mint. The herb that I had once relegated to tea and little else. Even refusing to allow it to be a final course garnish as it never made sense to me to add something for the color when the flavor was not wanted. Now there is rarely a day that goes buy when I don’t reach for the emerald leaves.

I’m home now and citrus season is in full swing along with the desire to enjoy a bit more fruits and vegetables ridding myself of nearly an entire month where sugar and butter made up the bulk of my diet. No regrets here, but it did leave me longing for the freshness of a salad such as this one.

The sweet milk granita is purely optional but turns this salad into a stunning, and healthful dessert. I love the ease of turning this sweet cream into a granita. After stirring the ingredients together I add it to a metal cake pan and pop the whole thing in the freezer. Every thirty minutes, or whenever I remember, I simply give the mix a quick stir with a fork to break up any large ice chunks, until the mixture is well-frozen. The resulting granita is flecked with vanilla beans, light ice crystals and a soft texture that melts into the crevices of the segmented citrus that it’s scooped over. You can also churn this mix in an ice cream maker if you want a smoother texture. The choice is yours.

When the presence of fry bread and fresh squeezed orange juice are missing from my mornings, this salad fills the void and reminds me of what Morocco tasted of.

Grapefruit Salad

Inspired by a salad enjoyed at Heure Bleue Hotel in Essaouira, Morocco

Makes 4 smallish servings.

While I loved the puckering tang of the lemon in this salad I do prefer the much gentler sourness that comes from a Meyer lemon, so I’ve used that here instead.

2 large grapefruits, segmented

1 meyer lemon, segmented

2 tablespoons chopped, fresh mint

1/4 cup thinly sliced dates

Combine the citrus segments and the mint. Add the dates just before serving.

Finish with a small scoop of Sweet Milk Granita if you desire.

Sweet Milk Granita

adapted from pastrychefonline.com

I love the simplicity of this granita and the fact that it doesn’t need an ice cream maker. The resulting texture is light, with flaky ice crystals that melt freely into the citrus. Usually I would oppose this texture when cream is involved but for this it works. If you prefer a perfectly creamy texture feel free to churn in an ice cream maker.

1 cup  (9 oz) sweetened condensed milk

1 1/4 cups (9 oz) hot water

1/2 vanilla bean, split

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

In a medium bowl combine all the ingredients and stir well. If you are using an ice cream maker, chill this mixture completely before churning.

If turning into a granita add mixture to a metal pan (I used a 9″ square cake pan – the bigger the pan the faster it will freeze). Let sit in the freezer for about an hour initially then break up mixture and any formed ice crystals with a fork every 30 minutes until completely frozen. This process will give the desired light texture with uniform ice crystals – the mark of a well-made granita.

Best served the day it’s made.

*If you happen to forget about the granita and it freezes solid you can either remelt and start again or you can process in the mix in a food processor to break up ice crystals.

For the first time in my life I’ve kept a journal. I have repeatedly tried and with great excitement I would carefully select a fabric bound notebook with hundreds of blank pages and infinite possibilities. I dreamed of the words that would fill those pages with images of an older me reflecting on the memories and my poignant words that would turn those memories into lessons that shape who I am today. I would painstakingly choose a pen with a black point – not too thick, not too thin – and begin to fill the pages. Closing the book with a sigh eagerly anticipating what the next entry would hold. Returning to the journal I re-read the entry and push aside the book with embarrassment as to what I wrote. This is why I have stacks of journals with hundreds of empty pages and a few torn pages marking where the single entry once lived.

This blog has become my first journal to extend beyond the first page. Truth be told I have done the equivalent of ripping out some of the pages but many have remained despite my deep desire to not ever have to look at my images from the first four or five years.

I imagine you readers don’t view these pages as journal entries as they often don’t go beyond our dinner the night before but I look through them and each entry, each meal, each photo marks a place in time that I can now draw from because I recorded it here. Little pudgey fingers that enter the frame as I’m trying to photograph cookies and eager eyes peering over my set, words that hint at our days and the reality of what life looks like in those moments. There is a part of me that feels selfish for including all of that. The words that are found in many how-to writing books instruct to think of the audience but the truth is many times I’m thinking of myself.

I’m imaging myself scrolling through these pages after years have passed recalling every sense that the images provoke and laughing over the stories scattered throughout the pages. Remembering the times that were hard, appreciating the good and trying so hard to refrain from deleting the entries that no longer meet my standards.

In no way do I dare discredit your part in all of this, dear reader, but when I think of my audience many times it’s my family and me, much older.

During the days leading up to Christmas my husband and I looked through images from the Christmas a year before. And while it seems it was only yesterday the images tell a different story. My baby girl was actually that – a baby. One that lays content on the ground and where her smiles are still so new to us. The boys were both a bit more round containing the last little bits of baby pudge and now they are boys; tall and slender, strong and tender.

The years pass more quickly than I ever thought possible and yet in their pages are hundreds of memories and the evidence that much changes in a year.

So forgive me while I have a moment and read through my journal over the past year. It’s been a great one, hasn’t it?

2011 exceeded my wildest expectations. We started the year off with lofty and well thought out goals. Many achieved, some were tried only to find that a better option was prepared for us, and some I’m still working through.

In the midst of it all we ate well.

There were quick meals and lingering date nights.

Quick Garlicky Noodles

Dating My Husband: Peanut Butter Pie

There were birthdays and cakes. Lots of cake.

Gradient Cake. For her 1st.

Poppy seed cake with mascarpone and strawberries

Lego/Pirate party

And oh the sandwiches.

Ham, gruyere, and arugula

Pork meatball Banh Mi

And then there were opportunities that I never dreamed would become a reality.

I’m on TV, whee!

Shot for BonAppetit.com

I was reintroduced to film.

Of course there was chocolate. There’s always chocolate.

Butterfingers

Cadbury Eggs at home

Chocolate Chip Toffee Bars

And a few incredible trips.

A coffee tour of Portland

Morocco

Thanks for reliving these moments with me. Such a blessed year. So much to be thankful for, so much to learn from and make me stronger.

If at the end of the year you can say you’ve laughed, cried, and became a bit wiser than I consider it a successful one. And if there was chocolate, there must always be chocolate.

Happy Goodbyes to 2011. Hello 2012.

The stockings are nearly full, the gifts are either wrapped or en route to our home, and countless cups of cocoa have been consumed. There has been Christmas music playing for weeks, opening of advent doors, and readings of a humble birth. We’ve seen lights, reindeer, a Space Needle all lit up, and a camel named Curly. With only a few more traditions to cross off our list the day is approaching quickly and we all are counting the sleeps.

It’s true, I’m giddy at the thought of nine kidlets and cousins joyfully tearing into their presents, and thrilled to imagine the warmth of a fire I’ll sit next to for countless hours, but it’s this coffee cake that is making the days leading up to Christmas feel as if they are taking far too long to pass.

I made this cake last week to test if it was Christmas morning worthy. Since then I’ve resisted making it again and again. Now the anticipation is making me weak.

Let me assure you, it is Christmas morning worthy.

This coffee cake makes eating cake seem perfectly appropriate for a morning’s activity. And really Christmas morning needs no excuse to be eating cake, but this one avoids being overtly sweet with layers of tanginess from both creme fraiche and cream cheese. A subtle citrus flavor runs throughout complementing the soft bitterness from the cocoa nibs.

Let’s pause there for a moment so I can convince you that your pantry needs cocoa nibs. It wasn’t until a couple weeks ago when I myself felt no need to have cocoa nibs be a part of my regular routine. Then a packaged arrived from the kind people at Theo chocolate. There were many delightful things inside but it was the nibs that intrigued me the most.

Cocoa nibs are cocoa beans that have been roasted and cracked. They’re bitter and nearly savory and yet you can recognize that it’s chocolate. They look as though their texture could break your teeth but as you bite into them it’s a gentle crunch that softens as the cocoa butter melts. In this coffee cake they are the perfect accessory for texture and flavor and one of the many reasons that makes this cake worthy of a holiday morning.

Happy Holidays to you all!

Cocoa Nib Coffee Cake

This recipe appears a bit daunting by the sheer length of it. I know I would roll my eyes at all the steps but I assure you all those messy bowls are well worth the trouble. I am counting down the days until Christmas morning when I will enjoy this coffee cake once again.

2 cups all-purpose flour (you can substitute half whole wheat if you prefer)

1 teaspoon baking soda

¾ teaspoon kosher salt

½ teaspoon baking powder

½ cup sugar

½ cup brown sugar

1 ½ sticks (3/4 cup) butter, soft

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup creme fraiche (or sour cream)

Pre-heat your oven to 350*F. Butter a tube pan or a bundt pan.

In a medium bowl whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, and baking powder. Set aside.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment beat the butter and sugars together until creamy and light, about 3-4 minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl.

Add the eggs one at a time while the mixer is on medium low. Add the vanilla. Scrape down the sides of the bowl again then add the creme fraiche. With the mixer on low add the dry ingredients. Stop the mixer while streaks of flour remain. Finish mixing by hand to prevent over mixing.

Set aside ½ cup of the batter.

Cream Cheese Filling

4 oz cream cheese, soft

1 Tablespoon butter, soft

¼ teaspoon orange zest

2 Tablespoons sugar

1/2 cup coffee cake batter (reserved from above)

Beat in a mixer or medium bowl until smooth. Stir in ½ cup cake batter.

Topping

½ cup almonds

¼ cup brown sugar

2 Tablespoons butter, melted

½ teaspoon cinnamon

pinch nutmeg

¼ teaspoon salt

⅓ cup cocoa nibs (can be found at fine grocery stores, specialty food stores or ordered online)

Add ingredients, except the cocoa nibs, to the bowl of a food processor and processor until coarse crumb. Stir in the cocoa nibs.

Add half of the cocoa nib crumble to the bottom of the pan. On top of that add half of the batter. The batter is stiff and hard to spread around without disturbing the crumble so I find that spooning the batter into the pan works best. Add a layer of cream cheese filling around the ring than cover with the remaining batter.Try and make sure no cream cheese is left exposed so as not to burn that layer.

Top with the remaining crumbling topping.

Bake in a pre-heated oven for 45-50 minutes until an inserted knife comes out clean.

Let cool on a wire rack for about an hour before running a knife around the edge of pan then inverted. Invert the cake one more time so it’s back to the original baking position. Served warm is best but it’s also great the day after baking (even the day after the day after).

The cookies, cakes, candies and chocolate barks are fine indeed. The crusted roasts still pink and tender inside cozied up to potatoes layered with cheese and bathed in cream satisfy deeply. I will never deny a leftover piece of gently spiced pie for breakfast – pumpkin is a vegetable after all, but the holidays offer so much more for our senses than just taste.

The faintest scent of cinnamon and clove instantly stirs in me memories of Christmas’ past. The ones in which I begged to sleep in front of the tree, guarding our dear parcels with as much fury as my little body could muster. The sharp, cooling burst of peppermint reminds me our first Christmas together. That year we went with Gabe’s parents to get our tree. Theirs was majestic and grand, ours was charming, only slightly more lush than Charlie Brown’s and yet perfect for us and our tiny first home.

Of course there are more smells that exist beyond the edible ones; the pungent pine perfume from a newly acquired tree and the sharp contrast of a wood burning fireplace against the chilling breeze that hits the moment you step outside.

This is only the beginning. I have yet to mention the lights that cause an infectious joy in my children, the continuous hum of Christmas music that create the soundtrack of this season, and the touch of Winter’s first snow – a feeling we are still waiting for this year.

Each year I become joyfully overwhelmed with all the projects – cooking and otherwise – that make up my to-do list. Many of them exist for the purpose of building memories and traditions and trying to instill the same excitement that I remember from my childhood.

I wanted to share with you a few things we’ve been doing around our home to awaken our senses to the season.

I get so excited when I come across a project that is both visually appealing and easy enough to get the kids involved. I saw these snowflakes on Pinterest and immediately broke out our popscicle sticks. With a bit of glue and spray paint our windows were suddenly festive.

In the middle of our popsicle flakes I created a photo wreath (again the idea came from Pinterest) using prints from our iPhone and polaroid. I may never take this wreath down. I never grow tired of seeing their smiling faces and sweet memories from the previous year.

To create the wreath I cut out a cardboard frame, attached a string then covered the frame with photos. I carried the same idea into our bedroom with a heart shape frame.

One of my favorite parts of this season is coming home. We all rush inside trying to escape the cold and are welcomed with warmth and the lingering sweet smells of citrus and spices – and quite often butter. A lot of butter moves through the house this time of year.

More often than not you’ll find a simmering pot of citrus slices, cloves, and cinnamon sticks sitting on the stove. As if this wasn’t enough I decided to dry some orange slices as well.

1/4″ inch slices line a sheet tray then sit in an oven on its lowest setting. About 4-5 hours the slices are completely dry and ready to be strung as ornaments, laid in a bowl to sweeten a room, or packaged with cinnamon and cloves and given away.

Our craft time turned into snack time as my little “helper” kept eating our project. It’s a good thing I work quickly and a good thing she’s so darn cute.

Then of course there’s hot chocolate. You know by now that this year is the year of hot chocolate for me. I’ve introduced you to my fresh mint version but now there is another.

Maple hot cocoa. While I love the richness that comes from hot chocolate made from a base of ganache (chocolate and cream), there is just something about a cocoa mix that satisfies in a way that no other can.

This is a slightly elevated version of what I drank as a child. While there aren’t any dehydrated mini marshmallows in this mix, the subtle maple sweetness and the rich cocoa flavor make up for it.

I’ve been gifting this mix as well. I love the way the ingredients look layered in the jar especially with a vanilla bean tucked in there just slightly disrupting the perfect layers. With or without a side of marshmallows, this is a perfect holiday gift that can be made in minutes. Just be sure to assign a jar for yourself so you won’t feel guilty when you inevitably break into to one of the gift-destined jars.

I really do encourage you to seek out the maple sugar for this recipe. It’s an ingredient that I haven’t used much and am realizing that I have a lot of lost time to make up for.

It smells of syrup, as it is the crystalized version, but in this application it provides enough sweetness without having to use a lot of sugar. Most hot chocolate mixes call for 1 part cocoa to 2 parts sugar. This is 2:1. The cocoa flavor prevails as you are drinking it but there is a depth that suddenly makes this mix seem more grown up.

Just over one week until Christmas and I have nearly every moment of each day planned with holiday activities. There are more lights to see, more cinnamon to simmer, and more carols to sing to my baby girl as she falls asleep in my arms. All the while making sure to leave plenty of time for hot cocoa drinking, of course.

Maple Hot Cocoa Mix

You can find maple sugar online or at many grocery stores. It’s worth the search, I assure you.

2 cups cocoa

1 cup maple sugar

3 teaspoons instant espresso powder

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 vanilla bean (optional)

In a large jar layer the ingredients. Tuck the vanilla bean down the side.

Before preparing a cup of cocoa shake the ingredients together. Add 2 heaping tablespoons mix to 6 ounces hot milk – that is, if you like it good and rich, as I do.

Supplies:

Weck Jars

Popsicle sticks

baker’s twine

Maple sugar

Pernigotti Cocoa

Vanilla Beans

Today is the kind of day where chocolate tastes sweeter, silence feels more poignant, and laughter makes me ache with even more joy. Today is the sort where the mess can wait, craft projects pile on top of one another, layered with empty cups of hot cocoa and sticky fingerprints. It’s the kind of day where the daily blips seem small and the silly stresses seem to pale in comparison to the overwhelming blessings. Today is a rare day where I sense a correct perspective and see this day for the gift it it (well, most of the day).

A nudge of self-pity would try and creep it and I would sternly ask it to leave. A pang of insecurity and twinge of inadequacy longed to invade but the reminder of life’s fragility and the choice to focus on what I have here and now was stronger. Feelings of anxiety and fear didn’t have a chance to settle before I turned them into prayer and made their vain existence useful. It was a constant choice and a continual battle that I fought valiantly.

There will be days I lose, where the feelings of doubt win and my perspective is lost, but today I won.

Today is a gift.

Roasted Potatoes with Minted Spinach Pesto

Serves 6-8 as a side

A stunning box of produce found its way to my door via the kind folks of GiltTaste. I opened the box and immediately pulled it out of the reach of a certain toddler’s less than delicate grip for fear the flawless micro greens and edible flowers would meet their demise before they had a chance to be enjoyed by me.

I couldn’t resist the spinach. Tight curly leaves in the most vibrant of greens, each bundled in a cluster with similarly beautiful leaves. Next I was hit with a sudden punch of fresh herbs, what lingered in my mind was the cooling scent of mint.

This pesto warms and satisfies as a Winter side dish should but without the heavy cheese or cream coat that accompanies so many. It’s confident enough to stand its own next to a holiday roast and plenty satisfying so you won’t hear the longing moans for gratin.

2 lbs new potatoes*, halved

2 Tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

¼ tsp kosher salt

Pre-heat your oven to 400*F. Place potatoes on a parchment lined sheet tray. Drizzle olive oil and salt over top and sprinkle salt. Stir the potatoes to evenly coat.Roast for 20-30 minutes or until cooked through and deep golden in parts. Stir a couple times during the cooking process to ensure even cooking.

Pesto

2 garlic cloves*

½ cup toasted almonds

1 teaspoon lemon zest

1 Tablespoon lemon juice

4 cups spinach leaves, packed*

½ cup mint leaves*

¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil

2 tablespoons water

1 cup grated Parmesan

¼ – ½ teaspoon kosher salt

In the bowl of a food processor add the garlic, almonds and zest. Process until finely minced. Add to that the spinach, mint and lemon juice. Process until greens are chopped fine. While the machine is running add the olive oil and water, scraping down the sides of the bowl when necessary. Lastly, pulse in the Parmesan. Taste and add salt to your preference.

While the potatoes are still warm toss with pesto. You may have leftover pesto or you may decide to use it all, either way is fine with me. Garnish with more Parmesan and serve warm.

*produce from the Chef’s Garden Assorted produce found on GiltTaste.com

*Full Disclosure: GiltTaste.com provided me with this incredible produce and asked me to have fun with it. That’s just what I did.