What carol, you ask? “Whoo whoo whoo, whoo whoo whoo, whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo.” Jingle Bells of course! So, here I am on this aggravatingly chilly day in April, and I’m boarding the most unexciting ride at the cardio carnival in my house (my elliptical machine) with a little less than my usual vigor, when I hear a train beckoning this unique call into the mundane Midwest morning countryside. With chin in hand, I cocked my head and smiled a wide, toothy grin. Now this got me to thinking.

What type of a train engineer blows this kind of message instead of the regular “whoo whoo” and why? Especially considering it’s not even Christmastime. I mean, come on. I live in a town that is known for being overrun by trains. You can’t go anywhere without being stopped by one. It’s frickin train central! I’ve heard a gazillion trains in my lifetime, yet never have I heard this before.

So, back to the question: What kind of train engineer follows through with a playful urge such as this by actually doing it? And more importantly, does he know how many people he just made smile? Does he know that I was very deep in thought about some not-so-pleasant issues and, therefore, feeling a bit stressed at that very moment? Yet, this total stranger, who I will never meet, completely changed my morning mood, thereby significantly improving my day.

Now, it gets better. I was so affected that I momentarily stepped down from my mission on my machine and posted about it on Facebook, and within a few minutes about 15-20 people “Liked” it. I would be willing to bet that they were smiling as they clicked.

Let me ask you something. When is the last time something someone said, did, or wrote made you pause long enough to simply smile? Now, let’s take this a step further. Did you know that studies show that smiles actually cause happiness and lower aggression? Smiling helps generate positive happy emotions within you, and this leads to a decrease in the stress-induced hormones that negatively affect your physical and mental health. Let’s face it! It just feels good to smile!

This is the very reason I “share” all the posts that I do on Facebook that are positive and have a good message and most importantly and significantly…wait for it…MAKE PEOPLE SMILE.

I am sure everybody has heard of the butterfly effect. Right? Bear with me, this gets a little hairy (science-y) for just a sec. Wikipedia states this about the butterfly effect: “In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions, where a small change at one place in a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences to a later state. The name of the effect, coined by Edward Lorenz, is derived from the theoretical example of a hurricane’s formation being contingent on whether or not a distant butterfly had flapped its wings several weeks before.”

My ridiculously simplified translation of what Wikipedia just stated and how it affects us in the real world is this: Everything anybody does affects everybody in one way or another everywhere. Nothing happens that doesn’t affect somebody or something somewhere! Can you say cause and effect? Can you say quantum physics? Little things matter. It all matters!

We are all made of energy. Everything on this earth is made of energy. Every thought I have, (listening to the train whistle) especially once I’ve turned it into action, (posted about it on Facebook) has now begun to affect people in a ripple effect that can go viral and rampant and THAT IS MAGIC! Energy used at its best!

Here is a hypothetical example of how this can work: Maybe somebody was going to do something not so positive (rob a liquor store) and changed his mind because something happened that changed this would-be robber’s energy or thought process from despair to hope (hearing a distant train whistle a Christmas carol in the middle of April on his way to the robbery) thereby totally changing the outcome (he takes the incident as a sign from God and decides not to rob the store). Had he carried out the robbery, he would have shot the manager and gone to prison. His seven-year-old son would have followed in his footsteps and had an illustrious career in drugs, violence, thievery, and eventually prison. Instead, the following week he found a stable job, and his son grew up to become a pillar in the community, counseling troubled youth and changing countless lives. It could happen.

And it all started with a train engineer blowing Jingle Bells on a cold and clear April morning in a lonely southwestern Indiana town.

My fitness books may not be rocket science. The Now What? Fitness Series may not be Nobel Prize winning material or a New York Times bestseller. In fact, you can read one in its entirety in a couple of hours. Will they change the world? No.

But they can change your world. Because in these books I give you practical information and guidance on how to live a healthier life. The healthier you become, the happier you will feel. And when you make lifestyle choices that include regular exercise and healthy nutrition as opposed to a sedentary lifestyle with poor eating habits, I promise you that your world will change. And when your world changes, it also changes the world of the people around you.

I cannot change the world all at once. But I can change the world one person at a time, and it starts with you.

Now, smile. Just because it feels good.

So, let’s see. What have I learned? Well for one thing: I learned that paradise is where the heart is. You see, before “the great MOVE” I actually thought that I could outrun myself and that the grass must surely be greener on some proverbial other side, right?

By that I mean I thought I could get far enough away from my broken heart that I could erase the pain. Gloss it over with a beautiful beach and butterflies and rainbows and make it disappear somehow. But now I know how ridiculous that thinking was. Because like the saying goes…wherever you go, there you are.

My heart just traded one pain for another. True enough, I did realize how foolish I’ve been for a very long time, and I have definitely realized that I had my priorities all screwed up. Let me just say, I don’t think I could have come to the conclusions I have without this radical move. That lesson in itself is priceless.

For instance, I get now how important my family is. I truly had lost that insight somehow. I allowed myself to get so caught up in my own little HELL that I lost sight of the most important things in life: Stuff like my family and friends and the freedom to use my time wisely when I had the things in life that provide true security in order to do that.

Now that I am a world away from all things familiar in a place surrounded by such breathtaking natural beauty in every direction that it is awe-inspiring; ironically, I still feel empty inside. I guess I naively expected to just fall into some magical paradise and VOILA, be happy! Instead, all I want to do is go home.

What is home? Where is home? Somehow I know it is not Maui for me. Nothing feels permanent or real here. It feels too surreal. Mostly it feels too far from everyone who truly cares about me.

Will I feel all better when I return to my birthplace once again? I was cursing it just two short months ago, and now I just want to click my heels like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and be transported back home. Back where I can hug my parents and tell them I am sorry. Sorry for being such a jerk for so long. Sorry for taking them for granted. I want to have the chance to help them more. To be a better daughter than I have ever been, before it is too late. I want to go back and be a better trainer, a better friend, a better sister and a better me. Perhaps in those acts of service I will find my true home.

Some may say I didn’t give Maui a fair chance. Many people will judge me and think me a failure. Well, that is their prerogative, I suppose. But I am tired. I am tired of making decisions based on what people may or may not think of me.

The truth is I came to Maui running and hiding and I found out that no matter where you go you finally have to face your own truths.

Many people go their whole lives living in denial or never going deep enough to truly investigate the bigger questions lying dormant in the recesses of their minds. Instead, they numb themselves to their pain through whatever coping mechanisms they may choose, like applying a Band-Aid to a broken limb, and then they wonder why their wounds won’t heal.

I, personally, have always lived my life on the deep side of the pool, sometimes to my detriment, I’m sure. My survival techniques have ranged from think tank to drink tank. I fluctuate from ecstatic epiphanies to nearly drowning in my own backwash. The juxtaposition of this constant mental dance can be exhausting and keeps me gasping for air much of the time.

For me, this two-month adventure was a fast track cosmic wake-up call. As if the Universe slapped me in the face and said, “Snap out of it!” I had hoped to find true happiness on this enchanting and mysterious island, but I now know that I cannot find true solace by merely changing my physical location no matter how dreamy the destination appears to onlookers. I must face my own demons that reside inside myself no matter where I go.

This is what I had to travel so very far…fourteen thousand miles round trip to learn. My inner voice is screaming, “Go home and continue to face your demons there!”

And so, home I will go. I will return to my haven of security with my new-found wisdom, and I will carry on with my journey…my journey to the “real” me…my journey HOME.

“When I was young, I’d listen to the radio waitin’ for my favorite song…every sha la la la every wo wo wo still shines…”

Man, could she sing! The Carpenters were so cool back then. I remember how much I loved Karen Carpenter as a teenager, and though this dates me terribly, I wanted to be just like her. Any song she and her brother released went gold and touched the hearts of every person that heard them. I mean, really, who didn’t love the Carpenters? And, I still do today.

From “Rainy Days and Mondays,” which I still break into on some rainy Mondays, to “We’ve Only Just Begun,” which I sang at dozens of weddings back in the day, Karen Carpenter became a part of our lives forever more.

How amazing it would be to be able to touch and influence so many lives just by opening your mouth and letting your God-given talent pour out. Still, she was unable to see how special she was. Somehow, this incredibly talented woman became entangled in a sickness that eventually cut her remarkable life short. The world was truly robbed of an awesome and beautiful person, and because of what?

It’s hard to comprehend the heartbreaking battle that must have raged on inside her mind. My heart breaks to think of what she must have gone through. Right now, how many people are waging that same secret war inside themselves, trying desperately to fit into society’s idea of how they should look?

I believe with all of my heart that if Karen Carpenter were alive today, she’d talk about how she lost track of what was truly important. She’d encourage us to be strong, vibrant and happy in our own skin, and to stop wasting our lives worrying about what anybody thinks about how we look.

I never had the privilege of knowing Karen Carpenter personally, but somehow I know in my heart that the purpose of Karen’s life transcends her music. She left behind a message that speaks to everyone who wishes their body was better, skinnier, prettier, or more like the models the media inundates us with.

Karen’s gift to the world goes far beyond her musical talents. Maybe her life’s purpose was to compel us to look deep inside for the one true thing that can make us happy. It would be easy to say her death was a waste, but I see it quite differently. She stands for every person out there who hates themselves for not having the “perfect body”, or who feels inadequate for whatever reason.

At first glance, my books may seem to be just another health and fitness gimmick, or something similarly trite and superficial.  But truly, The Now What? Fitness Series is about how to avoid becoming a victim of society’s expectations, and how to stop comparing ourselves to the “beautiful people” the media crams down our throats. There is a simple and healthy way to become and stay fit and happy, so that we can live quality-filled lives into our golden years.

Over the past three decades, I’ve had the opportunity to work with people with a variety of fitness goals and challenges. I believe that inside those who are unhappy with their appearance lies a Karen Carpenter.  One, who like Karen, feels desperate, unworthy, and inadequate, no matter what their size or weight may be.

I may not be able to work personally with everyone fighting this type of battle, but I can say to you what I think Karen would say if she were alive today.  I believe she’d say — Life is too short to compare yourself to anyone. Do what you can to live your life in healthy and positive ways, and let the insecurities go. Find the tools to help yourself make constructive changes, and do the best with what God gave you.  Most importantly, you should love and be true to yourself. We are all perfect in God’s eyes.

And to Karen I would say:
I love you and your music, and I thank you for the total legacy you left behind. It was not in vain.