ttp://programme.rthk.hk/channel/radio/programme.php?name=radio3/kwok_talk&p=5160&pid=80215&m=photo&e=172841

I had a lot of fun and we talked about empowering expatriate women living in Hong Kong.

Hope you enjoy it!

With energy,

Ana

This week we discussed that, if we have the right tools, we can live life in a constant state of joy.  We can build our own paradise right here on earth.  There is an amazing difference when we decide to look at life with equanimity lenses – a concept that sees everything that we receive as perfect and ideal for our growth.  When begin to see life being perfect as is and that changes everything!

Rabbi Schwartz mentioned this point on his latest newsletter and I reproduce it here with his permission:

(Hashem means “The Name” and it is one of the ways in the Jewish tradition that we address G-d).

“The outlook that is demanded for us to be Perfect AS IS perceivers of reality, is that we have to see the world as something that is basically a gift, life is a gift from Hashem, and as our Sages say, ‘Everything that Hashem sends to us is good, it’s perfect.’ Even though it seems to be far from perfect, and full of what seems to be difficulties and problems and flaws and blemishes and hard-to-cope-with reality, nevertheless, we are urged by our Sages to see that everything that comes our way is Perfect AS IS.”

So, to see life as perfect as is, we need to have faith that all is well and taken care of even if it doesn’t seem that way.  It requires us to have a long term vision and to persist.  Lately I’ve been thinking that our wildly disseminated lack of patience is truly a lack of faith.  We say very non-chalantely that we don’t have a lot of patience for anything which truly means we are not willing to trust that the blessings are coming our way.

Sometimes ideas need to simmer a bit in order to become ripe and ready to use, relationships need nurturing to fully blossom, people need practice in order to learn a new habit; everywhere we look there is a need for patience; a need for faith that things will turn out all right in the end.

Try for one day to receive whatever comes at you saying to yourself:  ”It is perfect as is.” Try not to question, not to argue with yourself.  Just repeat this mantra and see what happens.  As always, I am curious to know how it turns out for you.  Enjoy being perfect as is!

With energy,

Ana

*If you want to know more about Rabbi Schwartz’s work, go to www.paradiseprinciple.com.

As I came face to face with the steeper hills however, I felt anxious and a bit hesitant to go down weaving together all my turns as I had learned to do on a flatter surface.  So, whenever faced with a nearly perpendicular slope, I decided to go down the easier way sweeping from the right to the left using my hills as a break.  When the third day came around, the wind and snow were so intense that I could not see beyond five meters ahead of me.  I had no option but to focus on my next turn, and the next, and the next, without thinking about the steep hill ahead of me.  All I could do was make one turn at the time until I made it to the bottom.  After the run, I realized that I had just gone down the steeper parts weaving all my turns beautifully!  I didn’t feel anxious and it was all because could not see the steep hill ahead of me.

Many times we feel overwhelmed when we think about our big vision and all that we need to do to get there.  We feel anxious, just like I felt when looking down that steep hill.  When we design a plan and break down the steps to get where we want to go, we understand the importance of each action leading up to the big vision.  As I went down the hill with no option but to focus on my next turn and where it was taking me, I didn’t focus on the fear and anxiety.  I was too busy trying to make one turn at the time!  Besides, I already knew where I was going and all I had to do in order to get there was to keep moving.

We need to take the time to design our vision and let it pull us forward like a magnet.  Then, we need to design our steps and focus on making them a reality.  All we need to do is focus on the next step, and the next, until we get to our vision!  Our vision serves as a source of inspiration and empowerment and not of anxiety and overwhelm.  When we go back to it we need to feel joy, excitement, inspiration and happiness!

Build your vision, enjoy the clarity it gives you and focus on the steps to make it your reality.  It only takes one step to start the journey. 

With energy,

Ana

It’s a beautiful moment in the Maldives.  The sun is coming down as I watch my husband swim and snorkel in the clear water right in front of our cabana.  The full moon is gearing up to making her appearance tonight.  For a moment it seems that the whole world simply stopped to take a breath.  A deep breath…

I also stopped for a deep breath as I just finished a walk around the beach.  I saw couples taking pictures, people laughing enjoying themselves, others looking for corals and shells on the shore, a family celebrating their holiday in the water…  One of the most interesting things I saw however, were messages of love.  People wrote their words on the sand in Chinese, Japanese, English and drew hearts with their initials inside.  Love is in the air here in our island.  I too joined the band and wrote the world LOVE in all the languages I know.  While doing so, I though about the people I love and the people I wish would let love inside their hearts.  Another magic moment in the Maldives…

The more I meet people and listen to their stories, the more I understand that it is all about love.  That’s what we all want and when we don’t get it, we fall ill, we let negativity enter our lives and we feel depressed.  Love brings in laughter, light, joy, clarity and creativity into our lives.  Love is the essence of our beings because love is the essence of our Creator.

However, love doesn’t come from the outside.  It is not something someone will give you.  Love comes from the inside; from loving ourselves with all our weaknesses, strengths, passions, idiosyncrasies, and shortcomings.  That will lead the way to truly loving others, our planet, animals, plants, a good and a difficult situation; basically everyone and everything you come across!  

It’s a big vision but it all starts with ourselves!  A good exercise is to ask some of your friends what are the qualities they love about yourself.  Resist the temptation to argue with them; just listen and take notes or ask them to send them to you.  Observe yourself acting in the ways your friends described you and focus on that.  Expand the list later with the qualities you see in yourself.  Come on, give it a try!  You will be surprised how wonderful you truly are!

With energy and sun from the Maldives,

Ana

1.  TOO MUCH OF EVERYTHING IS TOO MUCH. – This was probably the first life lesson I learned.  My nanny taught me that and I never forgot it.  It seems to apply to everything in life; from food, to money, power, prestige, holidays, work, etc.

2.  THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT OF EVERY SITUATION, EXCEPT IN THE CASE OF DEATH AND EVEN THEN, IF THE INFINITE ONE WANTS IT, THERE IS A WAY OUT! – This I learned from my mother.  It stuck with me and I’m always sure that I’ll find a way for every problem I face.  Later on, I realized that it’s not up to me to find a way; the way will find me.

3.  SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MAMA! – When I became a coach, I learned that drama is like rust, it corrodes our lives, our relationships, and every situation.  As a coach, I listen to my clients and focus on the issue minus the drama.  They are extremely grateful when I mirror the situation back to them without the drama in it.  It’s amazing how much of the “fog” in our lives is caused by our addiction to drama.

4.  IF YOU BELIEVE IN IT, YOU CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN. – That I learned from my passion for swimming.  I strived for excelence and always wanted to become the best swimmer I could be.  I chose a school in the US that was ranked in the top 10 swimming schools in the country.  I was far from being a swimmer at that level and I decided that I would get a scholarship there.  Two years later, I was on their squad with a full ride scholarship.

5.  THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A DAY AFTER ANOTHER AND A NIGHT IN BETWEEN. – The first part is a famous Brazilian adage and “the night in between” was added by me.  Sleep does wonders for me.  If something bothers me, I feel the feeling, acknowledge it, and go to sleep.  The next morning everything seems clearer.

6.  KEEP MOVING. – This one has two meanings.  The first one is that no matter what happens we need to move forward.  The past belongs in the past and we belong to the present.  The only way to create our future is to ground ourselves in the present and keep moving forward.  The second meaning is that moving our body creates energy.  I always find solace and clarity while exercising.

7.  BECOME FINANCIALLY AND EMOTIONALLY INDEPENDENT. – These two are deeply interrelated.  We want security and money brings us the illusion of security.  Once we believe in this illusion, we become emotionally dependent of money and of who/what provides it to us.  Learning to master the energy of money and fulfilling our own emotional needs is a great way to get on the path of freedom.

8.  FIND YOUR SPIRITUAL CENTER. – My connection to The Infinite One centers me no matter what I am going through.  Whatever way you find your spirituality, that is the true gateway to your core.  There will be no more running away from life and from yourself.  You will find peace because you will find the place where your true essence meets the essence of the Divine.

9.  LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST. – As an athlete, I knew this one naturally because without food, rest and focus on my goals my body would not perform.  Later on, as I became a coach, I learned the importance of focus on myself in order to become aware of my own power and in order to become stronger to share more with others from a place of abundance.  We can only give what we have.

10.  BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING; EVEN FOR THE TRIALS IN YOUR LIFE. – My personal belief is that everything that happens in our life is always for the best.  It’s hard for us to see it right away because we are very close to our own lives and to what is happening at the moment.  However, as time passes by, we look back and recognize that whatever happened was the best thing for us.  This realization brings us a tremendous amount of faith in life.

So there you have it!  What have you learned in your life?  Share your lessons with me and I will post them as well.

Let’s learn together!

With energy,

Ana

My impression is that the most immediate associations one makes with the word “home” are the feelings of security and comfort.  Normally we find these two things in people and things that are familiar to us.  As a result, we tend to get attached to those things and people that are familiar to us and have a hard time letting them go.  We also begin to think that these people and things are ours; that they belong to us.  That’s when the mess begins.  Once we begin to believe that they are ours, we feel entitled and possessive.  We begin to put our whole sense of security, comfort and trust on keeping them close to us.  We fail to see them as gifts and teachers that come to our lives for a purpose and then leave. Yes, they leave.  That’s the natural order of things; they go because their work is done and we no longer need them and vice-versa.

Sometimes they come into our lives, leave, and come back again renewed, and with another lesson to teach us.  That is, if we let them go in the first place!  When we hold on to people and things as if they belong to us, we don’t realize the gifts that they are.  We don’t understand that we don’t actually own anything and that all that is close to us is in our lives for a higher purpose.

Now, let’s go back to the original point of the “home”.  What if we extend the concept of “home” to all that comes our way?  Be a new job, a new place, a new friend; what if we look at the new as familiar and secure?  It is a radical idea, I realize.  However, think about the time when you faced something new – how long did it take to become familiar to you?  When you make a choice to accept the new in your life, doesn’t it always become familiar?  When you meet someone new and that person slowly turns into a friend, or when you move to a new place and you begin to find your favorite spots, don’t they all become familiar after a little while?

When we open ourselves up to the present, to “what is”, we being to understand and truly live what the old adage says: “Home is where the heart is”.  Because when our heart is open, every place and every new experience feels like home.

With energy,

Ana

Aligning our will with God’s will for us is what we need to keep in mind as we proceed to examine our past year and look at where we erred, what we will let go, where we can improve and what we will commit to in the coming year.  When we do that, we bring in the potential of infinitize-ing our actions, as my teacher and I like to say.

And what does it mean to infinitize your actions?  It means that you want to have a long lasting impact in the lives of whomever you may encounter.  It means that you give people 100% of yourself when you are with them.  It means that you do everything completely conscious of the act itself and it means that you are living in the present with the utmost intensity.

It also means that you are always asking “how can I be of service to this person” or “how can I be my best self in this situation”.  It means that you are focused on being a partner with God in making this world a better place.  Ultimately, it means that you forget yourself and lend your body and soul to be of service to God and to others.  That translates into being ego-less.

When we have a long lasting impact into people’s lives we help them expand.  For instance, when we use our listening abilities to give the other person a stage on which they can be themselves and get it all out of their chest, they feel it and expand.  They empty themselves and then they begin to develop room to breath, to see the situation with new eyes, to think outside of the box, to solve their problems.  We help them expand the way a coach does with his/her clients.  They come out of the conversation feeling energized and ready to face their problems.  You had just given them the gift of expansion by virtue of listening and supporting them.  They will feel inspired to have more conversations like these and will spread this model around their circle of friends and use it with whomever they interact.  The model becomes infinitized.

You also feel expanded by listening because you get an immense satisfaction of having helped another person.  By listening and posing open-ended questions, you begin to delve deeper into the soul of the other.  You create a profound interaction that brings the best out of both parties involved in the conversation.  That’s how we create meaningful and long lasting relationships.  In other words, that’s how we infinitize our interaction with others.

The gift of this time of the year, the opportunity to look inside and start over is available to everyone and not just to the Jews.  Take the energy of this month and create your new reality, one that will inspire and bring you to a new level of awareness.  Begin to infinitize your actions and making this world a better place!

Shanah Tovah to all!

With energy,

Ana

Living in China provides me with many wonderful opportunities to put this principle in practice.  China is quite unique and, as a Western, it’s easy for me to categorize  many of the local habits as “bad”, “weird” and downright “rude”.  Slowly I began to understand a lot more about the culture and about where many of their habits came from.  Needless to say that’s the subject for a thesis, but my point here is that I decided to make an effort to meet people where they were and learn from them whilst respecting my own limitations.

I am writing this post from Harbin, a city in the Northern part of China, near Russia.  The city is quite interesting.  Today I went running in the morning and walked around in the afternoon.  I needed to get water, money from the ATM and a good cup of coffee after lunch.  I don’t speak Mandarin yet (I will one day) and it’s not like there are signs in English pointing out to the nearest supermarket or coffee shop – Starbucks is not here yet!  There are signs in Russian but apart from “espaciba” which means thanks, I don’t know much else.  So I decided to smile at my every attempt to communicate and ask for information that would lead me to an ATM, a supermarket and a coffee shop.  It turned out that my efforts and my smiles were met with more smiles.  I learned that kindness is to be found everywhere even when I cannot communicate, and that people will respond depending on what I give.

Look around you for opportunities to learn from the most unexpected people.  You will be surprised at what they can teach you!

With energy,

Ana

There are times when your partner needs the spotlight and you gladly step back and give that to him/her.  There are times when your friend wants a shoulder to cry on and you need to put aside your troubles and show up as a good listener.  It’s all about knowing when to step in and when to step out.  And that’s how relationships grow.  Just like dancing, building a relationship requires giving and taking.  It doesn’t matter if it’s your partner, a friend, or your client.  Every relationship needs to have these two dynamics happening or else it is not going to work.

Look at your relationships and observe if you are willing to dance, to invest in the dance of giving and taking.  Are you willing to give up your own space for a bit so that the other can have more space  to grow?  This could mean to say you are sorry, to stay silent when you want to give your opinion, to listen intently to your client’s/partner’s/friend’s needs, to recognize that the other’s idea is more appropriate than yours, or to simply say thank you when someone pays you a compliment.

Dancing requires you to be gracious, focused and in the moment.  Sounds like a great recipe for our lives as well.

With energy,

Ana

It is intriguing that most entrepreneurs, specially the ones in the service business, have a big resistance to talk about what they do.  As if their services are of no value at all and they are being fake.  Sometimes it is not a question of not believing in what they are doing but simply not knowing what they are selling!  Do you know what you offer to others?

I had a client who was a coach.  She was trying very hard to sell coaching all around town with very little success.  She just couldn’t get it why people were not interested in the coaching process.  The truth is:  People are not interest in the process.  No one is!  If you have a horrible itch on your leg and you go to the dermatologist to be cured, would you be interested in listening how the medicine will work and how the antibodies will come together to fight the fungus on your skin?  I didn’t think so.  You want the medicine right away!  You want to get rid of the itch pronto!  In other words, you go to the doctor to get relief from the itch; not to hear about how it will go away.

Do you know what you offer to others?  Is it freedom and prosperity?  Is it an end of their financial troubles?  Is it relief from suffering?  You need to speak in terms of outcomes; not process.  That’s the language we all understand.  That’s what we buy.  Try to express the essence of what you offer in two or three words.  Look at mine for instance: “I help entrepreneurial women stretch their thinking, re-invent themselves and bask in freedom and prosperity” – it has a target audience in it (entrepreneurial women) and it has some clear outcomes (stretch their thinking, re-invent themselves, bask in freedom and prosperity).  When you perfect the exact description of what you offer, you’ll never hesitate to share it with anyone at any time.  And you will smile while you are sharing it because you believe in it so much.

With energy,

Ana