The people who passed by the sleeping kid were so disturbed upon seeing him. “Kawawa naman itong batang ito…” Those were the words I heard from the people. The boy looked very pitiful that I wanted to wake him up and tell him to sleep somewhere else because people might hurt or hit him because he’s blocking the way. I hesitated because his parent/s might see me and misinterpret what I wanted to do. I couldn’t do anything but get teary-eyed. :(

I’ve been blogging about cases like this but I still feel so frustrated that I can not do anything for them except to blog and to pray for them. Even though I have seen a lot of kids sleeping on the streets or in any unsafe place,  I still can not accept the fact that it happens in our society where there are so many corrupt politicians who can actually DO SOMETHING FOR THEM. But why does this problem remain unresolved? It’s because those people we voted for (whether you admit it or not) are blinded by their love for money, not for the people they are supposed to serve.

On the other hand, it’s a sad fact that the poor people only rely on the donations or help they get from other people. They should learn how to maximize what they only have. There are so many successful people who were able to surpass poverty because of hard work and optimism. I guess, for the politicians, they should also include teachings about surviving poverty and not just donating the whole time. You get what I mean?

I hope someday, our politicians change their main concerns from money to his/her people’s needs. I also hope that the less unfortunate people strive hard and stop depending on other people. And lastly, I hope that I can also do something, if I haven’t done something good, for our society and not just get frustrated all the time.

“Beggars can’t be choosers.“

This afternoon, the students had a party because Isabelle, the one who gave me a letter three weeks ago, celebrated her birthday today. Elly asked me if she could party. I didn’t know what to answer because we were supposed to have our class. I asked one of the old teachers and he told me that Stella² would like to party too. So we have no choice but to attend their party as well. Haha! They looked adorable dancing and singing the Korean songs even though I didn’t understand what they were singing. And oh, they even asked me to dance with them. Haha!

Having cute and sweet students makes me feel younger. I am having a great time with them that I always look forward to our classes. The nicest feeling is that they appreciate you without even trying to make them appreciate you. I just teach, have fun and laugh with them. I am thankful that at least once in my teaching life, I felt appreciated and liked by my students.

1. both are 11 years old
2. he handles Stella at 4 to 5 pm

My old college classmate is enrolled in the same subjects that I am taking. We were both delighted to see each other again after all these years. And what made us more giddy is that we both experienced the same thing in the last three years: failures, rejections, and the like. It’s nice to have someone who underwent the same experience as you did. It’s like you found someone who could understand you because he or she had the same situation.

So, anyway, I attended my first day (or should I say night since it is a night class) in graduate school last Saturday. Our first subject was Statistics. That’s my only class for that day but I decided to enroll another subject when I learned from my classmates that they have another subject on Saturday apart from Statistics. Since I’m free on Saturdays, I enrolled in the Pedagogy class. So starting tomorrow, I’ll be attending two classes.

Yesterday, I attended another class, my Nursing Theory class. And I was like, “Oh no. Here we go again with the theories!” Our professor is old so we have to sit close to her because she speaks softly. When our class ended, she gave us topics that we will report next week. Grr. I hate reporting but I like the topic that was given to me. It’s about Human to Human Relationship Model. It’s about giving sympathy and empathy to our patients to be able to build a rapport with them. I think it’s easy because as you all know, that is what I usually blog about here - treating the patients right.

So this is really it. I am back to school. I am working as a part-time English teacher. I wonder if I can handle this all… I hope so!

That’s the good news. The sad thing about it is that I can’t take the full-time position because of my MA’s² schedule.  I have no choice but to take the part-time position instead of just letting all this go. Like what I said in my previous entry, I need some money to support my needs for my MA³. That is why.

So far, I am enjoying my stay there. I am enjoying teaching my 13-year-old student. She’s very funny and talkative. Her name is Rin. We had a deal that she will study our lesson really hard while I try to learn their language. I guess that makes our class more fun. I just feel sad today because I learned that I won’t be handling her anymore starting tomorrow. It’s because of conflict in schedule. Sad sad sad. :(

The other two students that I am teaching are older than me by one year. They’re cool guys. One loves sports while the other likes music. They’re friends. Randolph, the one who’s into sports, asked me what’s the best bar or club here in the Philippines that I could recommend for him. Haha! I told him though that I don’t really go to clubs so I can not recommend him any. I am teaching them intermediate grammar so every now and then I study grammar. The best thing about this job is that I am learning while I am teaching.

I know that I won’t be staying long in this school because I have a different path to take. So for now, I’ll just enjoy every day of my life as Titsah Xyla.

1. They always have a hard time in pronouncing ch- and r.
2. master’s degree
3. not the tuition fee, though

I decided to apply as an English tutor/teacher because I need money to suffice my needs for my master’s degree.¹ I haven’t enrolled though because the results aren’t out yet. I am actually in panic because the deadline of enrollment is tomorrow. I hate enrolling late. I hate running after time. Why haven’t they released it yet?! Grr.

Anyways, luckily, I passed the initial interview and the teaching demo. It was my first time to do a teaching demo.  I was so nervous! So right now, I am attending the training. I should complete the 40-hour training then if I passed the exams and the other tasks, they could officially hire me. I hope everything goes well.

I really wanted to be hired there because I am having fun. When I was a kid, I dreamt of becoming a teacher, aside from becoming a doctor. Until now, I still want to teach. That’s the reason why I plan to take master’s degree to be able to teach and to be able to gain professional growth.

As I am observing the setting, I realized that there are a lot of things in common in having a patient and in having a student. First, you should be able to establish a rapport with your student, just like with a patient. You need to gain their trust because how would you be able to work with them if they don’t trust you. Second, you have to be patient with them. Students can sometimes be very unpredictable. Sometimes, they get what you’re teaching, sometimes they don’t. You have to be understanding. Just like in being a nurse, you have to be empathic with them. Third, teachers also learn from their students. It’s not about the lesson, per se, but also things that we could apply in our own lives. It’s called life lessons. As a nurse, I constantly learn from my patients too. I probably don’t have my inspiration to write if I don’t learn from them. Lastly, when a student (or a patient) appreciates you, the feeling is undescribable. It probably means you are effective as a teacher (or a nurse) or you probably touched his/her life in your own simple way which makes us feel fulfilled in our job. Wow. What a realization!

Well, let’s hope that I’ll get a good evaluation after my 40-hour training. By that time, I’ll probably be a better writer. Haha! Because seriously, while I am studying those grammar rules again, I feel so dumb! I feel that I suck in grammar and I feel ashamed of how I am writing here. Haha!

So that’s all for now. I’ll leave you a very funny scenario with one of our Korean students.

Luna: *singing* Pilipino, Pilipino, Pilipino ang lahi ko…. (Manny Pacquiao’s song)
Me: Luna, why are you singing that song? You’re not a Filiipino!
Luna: Oh. Okay! *then started singing….* Korean, Korean, Korean ang lahi ko…

1. My parents are going to pay for my tuition fee and I don’t want to add more burden to them.

My ultrasound result last September 2008 revealed that my left ovary has this certain mass  which could be a cyst or just a corpus luteum².  And then, my right ovary reveals to be polycystic. That’s why my Ob-Gyne told me to repeat the procedure after three months.

Now, the result is: my right ovary is normal but the left is a polycystic ovary. I got worried upon seeing the result but I waited to talk to my Ob-Gyne first before getting depressed. Although last night, I got sad when I thought about my health again.

So this afternoon, I went to the clinic for a consultation. My OB said that there’s nothing to worry because it’s just mild. Usually, those patients who have polycystic ovary syndrome have weight gain, irregular or missed periods, unwanted hair growth and acne. Yes, I get to have acnes from time to time but fortunately, I don’t have the other three symptoms.

As a treatment, my OB prescribed contraceptive pills. Hopefully, after six months of taking the contraceptive pills, I’ll get a better ultrasound result.

I asked my OB if my fertility in the future would be affected. She answered yes but she gave me an assurance that we would be able to work it out. I’ll just have to tell her if I am ready to have a baby.

At least, there’s no reason to lose hope.

Thank you, Lord, for listening to my prayers.

1. I don’t even know why I was busy by then
2. because my menstrual period was about to start in a few days

Geez. The exam was actually easy… but the thing is… it’s been years since I multiplied a fraction with a fraction. Hello! I am not using fraction anymore! I am using decimals… and I always have my cute, small calculator with me. So why use fraction? Haha! My nose almost bled while recalling the procedure of fractions with different denominators. I know I got it right but I ran out of time.

Another thing, the Korean girl beside me kept on copying my answers. When the only time left was 13 minutes, she called my attention and asked if she could copy my answers. Omg. What a thick faced girl. Haha! So anyway, I frankly told her that I can not let her copy my answers because I am not yet done with my math solutions. Am I mean? I think I did the right thing.

Well, let’s pray that I passed the exam. Right now, I am very busy fixing the other requirements I need for the admission in case I miraculously passed the test. I am really, really excited to go back to school.

How about you? Since June is fast approaching, any preparations for those of you who are still schooling?

• I am done with volunteering. They scheduled me for an exam. Yay! I am finally taking the exam! Wish me luck.
• I have another exam to take this Saturday (I don’t even know its scope!) but I’ll not give all the details about it for now.
• Kris Allen won! Yay. Actually, I am really a huge Danny Gokey fan. I have been rooting for him since the audition days but I am still happy with the final two. Adam Lambert and Kris Allen are my bets too. I know Adam Lambert will be very successful. He’s iconic! Way to go for the cutie!
• I am turning into an online stalker. Thanks to twitter.
• Finally, Bru Gracie and I met in person. I’ll be posting the pics here if I don’t get lazy. Hehe!
• It’s our 17th month today. Feels so good to be inlove <3

So, right now… I am on a backer hunting instead of job hunting. Just kidding! Haha! I still job hunt. It sucks that every time a hospital gives me a chance to get an experience through a volunteer or training program, there’s always this you-should-get-a-backer-now thing going on inside the institution. That’s the reason why no matter how hardworking I am during my duty days, I still don’t succeed in getting hired. No matter how good my evaluation is, it is always disregarded. It’s really unfair because there are other nurses who are more deserving of those positions. Yes, I’m getting bitter again but I’ll tell you where these are all coming from…

There are staff nurses who are not being effective and efficient with their work. They reason out that they can’t do the ideal procedure anymore because they lack time and they have so many patients to attend to. I understand that but is their reasoning really acceptable? You know the saying, “if there’s a will, there’s a way.” Hello, miss and mister nurses? Your patients are not animals. They are human beings like you who feel pain, who suffer from pain… Don’t reason out that they are not paying you for what you are doing… Actually, they are paying you through their taxes. Let’s say they don’t pay the taxes… But if you were in their shoes… What would you feel?

It’s disappointing that those who got their jobs easily are the ones who take advantage of their luck. I hope that they prove their backers that they deserve their position by doing what is right even if the working place is not as ideal as what we are expecting.

I pity the mothers who are emotionally and financially suffering because of their kids’ illnesses. I once saw my mom cry when I was in the hospital. Mothers would usually say, “Ako na lang sana nagkasakit kaysa ang anak ko…”

I can not believe that there are still some people who can do this to such people. You know what I mean? They could have helped them rather than add more burden. I also can not believe that despite the security in the hospital, there are still evils who can get away with the guards. I have a feeling that the criminals are either one of the inconsiderate guardians of the patients or some ruthless people who pretend to be a nurse/doctor.

God save this people.