She went on to say that she is making this year ‘her’ year. After years of focusing on others and being ‘too busy’, this year she is making herself the priority and taking care of herself – and it feels good!

Last year, we had a scare when she almost passed out at work with some cardiac symptoms. I took her to the hospital and stayed with her as she began the flood of tests to rule out a heart attack. Luckily, they found nothing wrong with her heart but that good news still meant we didn’t have the answers as to what her body was going through.

Since then, I’ve been checking in to see how she’s doing and to see if she is still pursuing answers; she knew I would be thrilled that she has some answers and is taking measures to care for herself.

Making the decision is the first step. Believing you are worth caring for is essential.

Do you think she wanted to stop working, sit down and rest that day? Do you really think she wanted to spend the night in the hospital? It was embarrassing for her to admit ‘defeat’, that she couldn’t continue to work.

We each think we are somewhat invincible.

But she was fearful enough to say something. We pushed her to go to the hospital and wouldn’t take no for an answer. We were concerned for her. We need her! We love her! We want her to be healthy so we can continue to work with her and enjoy her company.

Maybe that is selfish but it doesn’t really matter.

Each of us has so much value to offer the world and when we do not take care of ourselves, eventually it will catch up with us and our bodies will give out in some way. We all lose.

Sometimes, we need other people to care about us, to love us so as to help us to realize just how important we are and worthy of our own affection. We can hold that space for others until they can love themselves more.

And while we all pushed her that one day, we could not do that every day. We can encourage; we can be role models for self-care; we can teach; but eventually, each of us has to become internally motivated to care for ourselves so we can be our best and live our best life.

Age happens to each of us; we cannot avoid that. But there are thousands of choices we make daily that can either hurt us and potentially lead to pain and disease or help us to be healthy and live longer. Changing just one of these choices can make a difference and often leads to other changes.

Make the decision today to care for yourself. That’s all you need to do. The next step will reveal itself soon enough.

Maybe it will be a change in dietary habits. Maybe you will see a doctor. Maybe you will speak up for yourself. Or maybe you will cut back on activities, let go of some stress and learn to relax.

Once you are committed to YOU and to taking care of YOU, it is easier to take action without hesitation or fear. You do it because you matter. Because you now know that you are loved and that people want you around to see the next sunrise.

If no one has told you lately how wonderful you are, let me be the first. You are amazing and are loved for just being you. You have more to contribute so do us all a favor and take better care of yourself today. One day at a time…

You’re worth it and we need you!

To your health and happiness,

Julie Donley, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success and inspiring you to be your best!

Author of The Journey Called YOU and Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.?

Build a better you. Live a happier life.

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Briana asked: “What should I do about a need to make others think differently of me. I feel as if I have showed a weird part of me and that now it’s my job to make them think differently by proving myself.”

This is a great question. Oftentimes, we do something that we don’t like. It feels bad and, unfortunately, those bad feelings remain in our cellular memory. I can still remember mistakes or blunders I made years ago that evoked negative feelings within me.

It feels bad yes, but this can be good. We can use it to motivate our future behavior in a different direction so that we behave in ways that make us feel good thereby avoiding these painful feelings in the future.

There is an impact to our behavior. WE think differently about ourselves; we might even beat ourselves up and give ourselves a hard time. OTHERS also might think differently about us. But living in fear of what others’ think is not helpful. It’s stressful! And it makes it harder for us to simply BE ourselves.

What can we do about it?

First of all, you cannot change the past so the first step is to accept that it happened. Acceptance is the path to forgiveness. You are human and as a human being, you will make mistakes, take wrong turns and cause pain. Forgive yourself and move on.

Secondly, you cannot control what others think or feel about you. You cannot control what they do. Trying to focus on changing other people is stressful and impossible. You can only control YOU. Let’s focus there.

The best way to move on from a misstep is to identify the qualities or characteristics that you want to espouse and then practice – become that person. Use the event to identify the kind of person you want to be instead and develop that quality.

Here’s your prescription for success:

1. Accept the past. Acceptance of the past gives you the power to change the future. It was what it was. Don’t dwell on it. We all make blunders.
2. Forgive yourself. You are human – welcome to the club!
3. Identify the characteristic or quality that you want to develop. How would you like to be instead? Was this an integrity issue? Were you too emotional? Consider the character flaw and then identify how you would prefer to represent yourself – your best – in the future.
4. Develop that characteristic by practicing it. There is no step by step procedure to becoming more honest for example, other than just doing it. Focusing on the thing which you want to be makes it grow in importance in your life. The attention you give it naturally has you focus on bringing more of it into your presence.

What you think about you bring about. So instead of focusing on your fear of what people think of you or trying to change others, focus your energy on changing YOU and BECOME YOUR BEST YOU. This is the path to happiness and peace.

Enjoy your day!

To your health and happiness,

Julie Donley, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success and inspiring you to be your best!

Author of The Journey Called YOU and Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.?

Build a better you. Live a happier life.

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Of course, it’s not just about you; it’s also about me! I could not do this work if I were not on my own personal journey toward being and living my best life. Nurturing Your Success was born shortly after my third lay off in 2001. I took some time to assess what I really wanted for myself and my life, how I wanted to contribute to society, and what was really important to me. I needed to define ‘success’ so I could then learn how to create it because the path I had been traveling did not seem to be getting me the results I wanted.

What I learned through this period of self-discovery was that more than anything I value personal development and being the best we can be – we just don’t always know how to be great and that is the focus of my work with Nurturing Your Success®. I also returned to psychiatric nursing, which supports my efforts to help us accept ourselves and be all we are capable of being.

Here is a quote from my latest book, Does Change have to be so HARD?, which sums up my beliefs about the power we possess to live a rich and happy life.

“I believe that each of us has more personal power than we know how to use – and it scares us – that we have the power to change our lives for the better but we hide the best of ourselves behind a wall of fear, self-doubt and negative mental conditioning. In order to change, in order to make the impact we want to have in this lifetime, we must bring down that wall to release our power, start believing in ourselves and create powerful habits that allow us to be fully who we are.

I have always believed that we have the power to create our own happiness. My quest has been to discover those powers and learn how to use them to create a life that I love. Along the way, I have faced my share of hardships and challenges that have tested my resolve. I have had to learn to fight for life, love and happiness…

Read the entire article.

To your health and happiness,

Julie Donley, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success and inspiring you to be your best!

Author of The Journey Called YOU and Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.?

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It is a struggle for many of us.

On Valentine’s Day, I thought it was apropos to focus on loving ourselves.

When we hear about a famous person dying young, especially one with as much talent as Whitney, it hurts us. It’s never easy to deal with death; but it’s more unsettling when it happens prematurely and especially unnaturally, as in the case of Michael Jackson. We get angry when this happens and wish they had taken better care of themselves so we could continue to enjoy their gifts.

But you have gifts too. You matter just as much as these famous people. You have family and friends and coworkers and others to whom you mean so much.

Have you ever stopped to consider what you and your actions – your presence – means in the life of those around you?

You are special. You have many unique qualities. It’s your job to respect and honor yourself, to identify and develop your special talents and to share them with the rest of us; to accept yourself with all of your idiosyncrasies, brilliance and beauty; and to enjoy yourself – to enjoy being you.

We all have the same life lessons to learn – to love, to grow, to take care of our body and health, figure out our finances, create relationships that work, turn our skills into a career so we can earn a living, forgive…It all comes back to how we feel about ourselves and how we treat ourselves.

There are different kinds of love – romantic, maternal/paternal, brotherly – but the definition that fits everywhere is that of acceptance.

Where there is acceptance, there is love.

Isn’t that what we each want – to be accepted for who we are without having to hide, wear a mask or shrink to fit some idea or mold? We want to fully express who we are without holding back, without reservations and without ties or rules imposed by others. That’s freedom–

The freedom to be YOU.

You give yourself that freedom by learning to love and honor yourself. You just have to decide that you are important enough to give yourself the attention and care YOU need.

Imagine that – putting yourself first in order of importance in your life.

But you ARE the most important person in your life; without you, what do you have? No one will love and care for you better than YOU.

This Valentine’s Day, as you celebrate ‘love’, take a moment to consider the love you have for yourself:

• Identify a couple of ways in which you want to improve how you care for yourself;
• Identify a couple of things perhaps you need to accept in your life – about you, your present circumstances, or your past;
• and start today doing little things that make you feel loved – by YOU.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

To your health and happiness,

Julie Donley, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success and inspiring you to be your best!

Author of The Journey Called YOU and Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.?

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The company decided to pay us – which is amazing. Although much less than what I am used to, it has been a pleasure – and very strange – to be temporarily ‘retired’.

Most people say they would love to be out of work but it has been quite an experience. How much time can you spend cleaning or shopping (without getting yourself into trouble)?!

What would you DO with your time if you suddenly found yourself out of work with an income enough to sustain you for awhile?

I am a worker. I am used to having a lot to do and personal projects that keep me busy and entertained – like writing books! Having so much time on my hands caused me to do some serious self-reflection and I have gone through a myriad of emotions.

At first I was anxious just like everyone else. We had no idea what was going to happen; if the hospital would close for good or if they would lay us all off. Were they really going to pay us even though we were not working? 

After three months out of work, I became very depressed, which I struggled with back in December. I began reaching out for assistance. My sadness was palpable. I have never been so sad for an extended period and was a little worried. Although I had faith it would pass, I needed to reach out and let people know what I was experiencing so I was not alone. I also began working with a healer.

I had to reconnect with my values – what are the most important things that I find sacred in life?

• Learning and growing
• Connecting with others
• Health/fitness and self-care
• Teaching and adding value to others’ lives
• and leaving the world a better place than when I got here

Since January, I am focusing on living my values and relaxing, taking this time in stride. I know that this comes only once in a lifetime – if one is lucky enough to have the experience. And I also know that it will end soon as construction moves forward at a very fast pace. And finally, I can truly tell you that I am enjoying myself.

One of the most important things I have learned has been just how important my relationships are. I have an amazing network of friends and family members and connecting with others is fundamentally a huge value for me.

When we are busy, it is so easy to lose touch or to simply not connect the way you want to because, let’s face it, there just isn’t a lot of time to just ‘hang out’. I LOVE having time to just chat with people and truly BE in their lives. I want – and need – this to continue when we return to the fast-pace of work.

Being ‘temporarily retired’ makes me realize the importance of having money saved for my real retirement! My dear husband and I are revisiting our retirement plan and refocusing on funding it so that we can live well when we retire.

Some of the other nurses are using the time to be with children or grandchildren, take trips, volunteer and complete house projects. Most of us are looking forward to going back to work. Work makes you feel as though you are making a contribution to something bigger. And while I miss work, there is real value in having the time to be there for your family and your own community – we each can make a huge difference when we tend to our own homes.

What would you do if you were suddenly and temporarily retired? If you had the time to do all of the things that you wish you had time for now, do you think you would use the time to complete them? How might you live differently?

Eventually, you WILL be retired and you’ll have to fill your time with things that make you happy. Why not start the process today by identifying your values, hobbies and things you enjoy doing?

Consider YOUR retirement fund – are you saving enough today so that it grows big enough so you CAN retire?

Enjoy the inquiry and have a wonderful day.

To your health and happiness,

Julie Donley, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success and inspiring you to be your best!

Author of The Journey Called YOU and Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.?

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Losing weight and restoring your health requires COMMITMENT – commitment to a new life and a NEW YOU! You need to know why this is important and what you will gain should you embark upon this journey.

People who make New Year’s Resolutions, especially to lose weight, often fail because their resolutions lack certain key elements required to be successful and to SUSTAIN the success.

Consider some of these questions to determine if you are ready to tackle this issue for good in 2012 -

• Are you ready to give up your attachments to the way things are, to old paradigms and habits, to old ideas about food and stress and your body?
• Are you ready to begin a new life and become a new you?
• You will need to adopt new beliefs. Are you ready to let go of the old beliefs about your body and being heavy? Are you willing to embrace NEW BELIEFS about being thin and healthy? Yes, you really can lose weight even though you may have tried several times before. Are you willing to believe that yes, you CAN?
• What are you afraid of? Name your fear. Identify your “resistance behaviors”, the ways in which you sabotage yourself such as forgetting your goal, not taking yourself seriously, hanging out with the wrong people or in the wrong places, etc.
• Do you understand what will be H.A.R.D. about losing weight?
• Have you decided on a method of weight loss that will help you drop pounds quickly and safely? You can jump start your efforts with BestChoiceChanges Weight Loss Program to ensure success and maintain motivation.
• Are you committed to taking this journey and doing everything you need to do in order to succeed? Or are you attached to keeping things as they are? What are you committed to?
• What, if anything, holds you back from making this change? What has hurt you in prior attempts to lose weight? How can you ensure success this time around?
• Do you have a community of support or a personal adviser to assist you along your journey – to keep you motivated, support you and celebrate with you?

There are several things you need to succeed:

1. Commitment. I have said this before and I will say it again and again. You are committed to something – either it’s to staying the same and enduring the consequences of your actions OR you can decide to change. It won’t be easy but it IS possible.
2. Believe in the possibility for success. If you do not believe it is possible, you won’t bother to do the work. Believe in YOU. I certainly do!
3. ACTION is the key element here. Develop a plan and take baby steps. What will you do in order to achieve your success? Determine some milestones and be willing to change course if your first plan does not produce the results you seek. It’s nice to commit and to believe and to plan but if you do nothing toward your goal, you will not achieve success.
4. Surround yourself with positive people, places and things. Your environment needs to support this NEW you rather than the old one that everyone is accustomed to. Feed your mind with positive and healthy thoughts and messages as you learn to feed your body the fuel IT needs to be healthy.

Losing weight is a byproduct of living a healthy life. So the goal is about what you will GAIN by living differently and not focused on losing weight. If you focus on what you are losing and what you cannot do or have, you will feel sad, as if something is being taken away from you and you are being deprived.

RESTORING YOUR HEALTH is the key to losing weight. Focus on living each day in health, honoring yourself and taking better care of your body. This way, you can be excited about this new life you are creating.

Here’s to your health and to happiness!

Julie Donley, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success by motivating you to be your best!

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Each year has its own memories. To make the most of your life, take a short assessment of last year. Celebrate. Acknowledge your accomplishments, your travels, your hardships and your triumphs. If you are alive to read this, then you have much to celebrate!

Now, take a moment to consider what you want to focus on this year.

It’s a simple process to take a moment to do each year. This way, life slows down just enough so that you can determine if you are living it well or just getting by.

When you live on purpose, you will find that life has more meaning, you have more control and power over your happiness, therefore you enjoy it more AND you fear death LESS.

Yes, you will fear death less when you truly live and enjoy TODAY.

So, what do you want 2012 to be about? What will you focus on this year?

These are just a few things I have planned for this year -

1. I will continue to lose weight and restore my health. I have just a few more pounds I want to lose. I want to be a little skinnier.
2. I will increase my workouts each week. I want to do more cardio to ensure I maintain this new weight and I want to increase my strength by adding more resistance training. The goal here is HEALTH – to age with grace, be strong and increase endurance.
3. I intend to save more and learn to amass wealth.
4. I will write another book in 2012. This will be a two-part book series on creating amazing relationships, the first of which is about attracting the right partner. Stay tuned…
5. I will also take my family on our first cruise! I am so excited to celebrate my dear hubby’s birthday this way.

One of the wonderful things that happens when we set out to accomplish something is that synchroncity occurs and we begin to attract the resources and people we need to assist us in our journey, making it much easier to accomplish our goals.

Goals (intentions) require commitment. As soon as you become committed to achieving something, you receive the support you need. This may sound hokey but in reality, when you set your mind to something, you start looking for ways to make it happen and you become more open to receive information and assistance from what has been there all along just waiting for YOU to be ready to go for it!

So set your sights on 2012 and decide where you want to focus your energy this year. You are much more likely to succeed when you focus your attention. You must have a destination in mind.

When you have no destination in mind, any road will get you there.

Here is to a healthy and happy 2012!

Warmly,

Julie Donley, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success by motivating you to be your best!

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May the holidays bring you joy and peace and as you reflect on what is important in your life.

And may you make a commitment to *health* in the New Year -

- healthy relationships

- healthy intake of food and drink

- healthy and respectful communication

- and healthy self-love and self-care.

You are the most important person in your life and deserve all of the best life has to offer.

Happy holidays!

With love,

Julie Donley, RN and family

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It was a wonderful day. My husband spent the day with me. We didn’t do a lot. There wasn’t a lot of fanfare. We were just together and that was priceless.

One of the special things about life is knowing that you are cared for and loved. When I checked my email, it was wonderful to see all of the birthday wishes! So many people took the time to wish me a happy day. I feel so blessed!

The emotions we experience during life is what makes life real and enjoyable. We all want and need to feel that we matter. Yet, how often do we deny our emotions? We know people who are so guarded they will not let anyone too close to enjoy their presence. This wall of resistance keeps people out – it also keeps the individual locked in.

When we hide behind a wall, we are not allowing ourselves to love or be loved. We are hurting and scared. This interferes with our relationships and our ability to get close to others, to trust.

And just like us, other people have walls. They, too, are hurting and are scared.

We can use empathy to help us to understand what might be going on for others; we can also learn to be more patient and understanding with ourselves. This is the lesson we are here to learn – to learn how to love and be loved. When we allow others to help us, to share with us, to care for us, we experience love.

So today – and every day – let’s learn to love, to bring down the walls that we hide behind and learn to give our best to the world. Imagine if we all approached others coming from *love* as opposed to fear and from *abundance* as opposed to lack. We would all feel better, safer and happier and the world would be a better place.

Thank you for the happy birthday wishes. I feel loved.

And if no one has told you yet today how special and wonderful you are, then let me be the first. You are wonderful! You are loved!

- Just because you are you!

To your health and happiness,

Julie Donley, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success and motivating you to be your best!

Author of The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance

Author of Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.?

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I have come to a turning point in my life. Is it a mid-life thing? Maybe. My 46th birthday is fast approaching.

Part of it is that I have too much time on my hands and my mind was drifting into negative territory. The hospital I work at as a psych nurse has been closed for renovations for the past three months. With the added space in time and no distractions, I have the ability to look more closely at my life.

And sometimes I just think too much!

So I am in this funk. It is what it is. It will pass. But as an upbeat, positive person on any given day, I’m not used to feeling this way. I work with depressed individuals all of the time, however, and am all too familiar with its subtle and destructive nature. So I thought I would share about it today.

Depression is a funny thing. Everyone experiences depression at some point in life. It is important to recognize it and identify what you need in order to take care of yourself. There are a few things you can do to ensure you come through it quickly and remain healthy. Depression can become ‘clinical depression’, where medical treatment is needed. You need catch it quickly and manage it responsibly. Here are some tips to get you through.

Read the entire article.

To your health and happiness,

Julie Donley, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success by motivating you to be your best!

Learning to ‘be your best’ begins with becoming more self-aware. Read my book: The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance. Pick up your copy on Amazon today!

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