Source: BBC

Mexican citizen Roberto Sol Cabrera was arrested when he tried to smuggle 18 small titi monkeys around his waist through Mexico City’s international airport. Of course, he says he had to keep them on his person to protect them from those bad x-rays that luggage has to go through! LOL

The animals had been put into socks, police explained, and two of them were dead at the time of confiscation.

Not-so-LOL.

The titi monkeys, acquired in Peru, go for as much as $1500 in Mexico.

Great Dame

Source: Miami Herald:

A Miami-area man, 64 year old Armand Pacher, recently told a doctor that he had sex with Christie Brinkley.

Normally, this would elicit a congratulations and a “can I buy you a drink or shake your hand?” And maybe a touch of “Good work, sir!” and “niiiiiiiiice”.

Except that the doctor is a veterinarian. And “Christie Brinkley” is Armand’s 2 year old Great Dane.

So instead, Armand received his Miranda rights.

He is booked on a charge of animal cruelty, which is a third degree felony.

“She doesn’t seem to enjoy it as much when we have sex. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been as energetic lately and that’s why she’s not enjoying it,” he allegedly told the staffer when she asked about the dog’s health, the arrest warrant said. Later, at the clinic, a veterinarian concluded that the spayed dog’s body had evidence of forced sexual activity, the warrant said. The doctor said the evidence could not have come from another dog, the warrant said.

The article states that “Christie” has eye problems, but perhaps it’s Armand who has the eye trouble. Maybe he just got confused.

After all, here’s an article that points out that the real Christie Brinkley kinda looks like her dog.

But that’s a Labradoodle, not a Great Dane. Man, Armand’s eyesight really sucks.

There’s a bunch of mp3s out there, termed “Binaural beats” which are said to make you high if you listen to it. That’s what Oklahoma News 9 is reporting, anyway.. and they’re calling it.. Digital Drugs!

Yeah, it could lead to illegal drug use! LOL!

By the way, here’s one of them damn “digital drugs” that your kids are getting high off of.

First one’s free (Warning: at around 1:35 you’ll get a jolt, so keep the sound low):

What’s the big deal? This sounds like something by Aphex Twin to us.

iDose!

Silly adults. iDosing doesn’t lead teens to real drugs. They do it because they don’t have any money for real drugs. iDosing is the 21st century, digital equivalent of whippits.

An oil company executive’s wife takes shoebox package into her backyard. It explodes nails and tacks in her face.

Fox News reports that the woman is in stable condition. No word yet on who the husband is, or what oil company he works for.

Memphis Blac Got Dat Work

Trina and Lil Kim, watch out! These girls got da work! And who are these girls? They are Dallas rapper Memphis Blac and her niece Smokahontas Jones.

They walk around the streets of Miami dressed in black, turnin tricks, throwing condom wrappers around, and wearing Indian feathers in their hair. And they are proud!

WARNING: Dirty words ahead.

The best part is the random “sparkles” that accompany them everywhere. They don’t need bling when they walk the streets… they are bling! The condoms-as-jewelry are a nice touch, also.

From Miami New Times:

In an industry founded on “keepin’ it real,” Blac is considered too real. “They tell me I’m too damn hard,” she says. “What the fuck I’m ‘posed to be, a piece of cotton?” She says she was born in 1965 in Tennessee, where she lived with no running water and no bed. Childhood sexual abuse led to decades spent as a sex worker before Blac finally quit turning tricks to open a legitimate business called Precious Treats. It’s an ice-cream and hamburger shop, named for her dead sister, in the Dallas projects. But even when she was prostituting and living the dope-fiend street life recounted in her music, she was using the proceeds to help friends and neighbors, and especially their kids. “Bitch, consider me akin to Mother Teresa. I have took care of families and families off working this pussy,” she says. “I hustle for these kids, or else they end up in the pen, or dead, or wrapped up in this bullshit.”

Just another day in South Beach...

BONUS

Smokahontas Jones tells you motherfuckers what it’s all about.

Poor Lindsay Lohan must go to jail. A judge sentenced her to 90 days plus rehab after Lohan violated her probation, stemming from a case in 2007.

Lohan missed seven classes of the alcohol treatment program she was supposed to attend.

“I did do everything I was told to do and did the best I could to balance jobs and showing up,” Lohan told the judge. “It wasn’t vacation, it wasn’t some sort of a joke.” Revel said she found Lohan’s apology insincere, comparing it to “somebody who cheats and thinks it isn’t cheating if she doesn’t get caught.” Lohan was not immediately taken into custody and will be permitted to surrender on July 20. She will have to wear an ankle alcohol monitor until then.

The judge threw the book at her. Prosecutors were only looking for a month of prison time. Judge probably felt she had to make an example.

I know who judged me.

That’s not the end of Lindsay’s problems. She has also sued E-Trade for featuring a baby in their commercials named Lindsay, who is a “milkaholic.” Lohan says the baby is a swipe at her alcohol problems. The suit was for $100 million, which is like spoiled-brat tax, we suppose.

Latest news repors that a Manhattan Supreme Court justice is letting E-Trade have the case moved to the city, where they have their headquarters, and not in Nassau County, where Lohan filed the suit and supposedly lives.

“Plaintiff’s affidavit does not reveal anything about how the plaintiff divides the time between her residences or how long she spends at each residence, and thus this lack of proof is insufficient to show residence in Nassau County,” Yates wrote.

Sources: Huffington Post, Daily News

Source: Reuters

We already know that Iran has its own fashion police. But the ban on certain styles of women’s dress also applies to certain men’s styles. Especially the hair.

The UK Telegraph reports that Iran’s culture ministry has produced a list of haircuts that meet government approval and a list of hairstyles that are not allowed.

Some of the men’s styles that are banned are:

Ponytail

Spiked

Mullet

Strangely enough, quiffs are ok. (The Grand Ayatollah must be an Elvis fan).

Quiff: acceptable.

Goatee beards are also acceptable.

“We don’t have a backward attitude. We are trying to present new hairstyles while preserving tradition and observing Iranian culture,” said Jaleh Khodayar, secretary of the Hijab (Islamic dress) and Chastity Festival where the approved haircuts will go on display. “This is how we will fight back against the Western cultural invasion,” she said, according to the semi-official ILNA news agency.

We at Odd Culture consider this another strike against freedom in Iran.

Except for the mullet. That should be banned worldwide.

Here’s the video. Note: it comes with political commentary, which we have nothing to do with. We just thought the video itself was funny. Everybody has their own opinion on the Israel/Palestine debate, but we can all agree that sometimes soldiers need stress relievers, no?

The video has turned into a PR problem due to the sensitive nature of the situation in Hebron. YNet news reports that the soldiers involved in the video face possible disciplinary measures.

Hebron is one of the most volatile cities in the West Bank. 600 Israeli settlers live there among thousands of Palestinian Arabs.

There is nothing quite like an Internet meme. It’s the thing that separates the 1337 from the n00bz. Smiling knowingly when somebody brings up “Rick Roll” or LOLRUS means that you’re part of the in-crowd, while the commoner who says “I don’t get it” is firmly in the group of dweebs who still use AOL for their email account.

10. Safety Not Guaranteed

YTMND is a site where you can put images, animation, and sound together to make something completely stupid. If you’re lucky, it catches on and becomes an internet hit. That’s what happened with Safety Not Guaranteed, which satisfies meme requirements by combining three different concepts together into a nonsensical creation, which is funny precisely for the fact that it’s nonsensical, like most internet memes.

First, take a scan of a want-ad which says:

WANTED: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 322 Oakview, CA 93022. You’ll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

Next, use the photo of a guy with a bad mullet and serious facial expression.
Third, throw in Paul Engemann’s Push It To The Limit from the 1983 movie Scarface.

Not a joke, indeed! See the original YTMND here. See a funny takeoff here.

9. DJ Super Greg (Numba One!)

An obscure but funny video/web site involving a fake DJ named Super Greg, created by a Minneapolis advertising agency as part of a viral marketing campaign for Lee Jeans in 1999. Super Greg was played by Sacha Baron Cohen of Ali G and Borat fame. Here is what the website looked like.

A mono-brow-sporting, red-jumpsuit wearing Cohen plays DJ Super Greg, Numba One!, a guy who doesn’t know the first thing about DJ’ing. We especially love the low-tech simplicity of his website and his “serious” attitude towards DJing.

Gig at Stüwe Club: “I don’t know how many times I’ve gigged here, but they sure have good pineapple drinks (afterwards).

8. NEDM / Happy Cat

Another classic meme in the same fashion as Safety Not Guaranteed. This one also follows the tried-and-true formula of taking unconnected ideas and mixing them together. In this case, it involves:

• Happy Cat – A Something Awful member found the image of “HappyCat” on the website of a Russian cat food company in 2003.
• Chapstick – for your lips, obviously.
• NEDM (Not Even Doom Music): As in “Nothing justifies giving 5 stars to burning kittens. Not Even Doom Music”

The origins of this fad are a bit complex. In 2005, somebody posted a link on ogrish.com to a video featuring a man setting fire to a live cat. This upset enough people so that eventually the man who did it was arrested. The video itself found its way into a YTMND creation by user “Baron”, who threw in music from the Doom video game. Another user didn’t like that people were giving high ratings to it, even if it was because of the “ironic Doom bunny music” as one user said. Titanium-Gecko replied “nothing justifies 5′ing burning kittens. Not even Doom music.” Hence the NEDM part.

A new YTMND featured the letters NEDM, the happycat image, and music from Coburn’s We Interrupt This Program (Jean Claude Ades Remix). Other entries were variations on it. One had a firefighter carrying a cat from a burned house, with the firefighter reassuring the cat it wasn’t Doom music. He then asked if the cat wanted Chapstick. We have no idea what the chapstick was about, but it stuck.

The best way to use NEDM is to stick it at the end of a video as a “surprise.” Doing this will either make the viewer laugh, or completely ruin their day.

7. Brian Peppers

A photograph of 37 year old Brian Peppers turned up on the net, leading people to question whether it was real. Turns out that Brian Peppers exists – he’s in Ohio’s Electronic Sex Offender Registration and Notification system for a conviction for “Gross Sexual Imposition” in 1998. Brian Peppers is in a wheelchair. His strange appearance might be because of Apert’s Syndrome or Crouzon’s Syndrome.

Brian Peppers represents a seedier side of Internet-memes. While his appearance coupled with his criminal history can be disturbing, his status as a lonely person in a wheelchair, probably in a nursing home somewhere, elicits sympathy. Of course, it didn’t stop the countless “surprise appearances” of Brian Peppers in many different settings. But hey, at least we’re not talking about PedoBear.

Here’s a ytmnd. Here’s another.

6. Steve Ballmer: Dance, Monkeyboy!

A rather cringe-worthy moment is the one where Microsoft President Steve Ballmer goes to a company gathering and riles up the crowd by dancing like a goofball and shouting WOOOOO alot. Ballmer’s tremendous lack of rhythm is only matched by his tremendous enthusiasm. Attached to his performance is the “Developers Developers” chant, which was used in a video that combined it with the Domo-Kun phenomenon, which also, by the way, was used in another meme – a photo of Domo’s chasing cats with the caption that read “Everytime you masturbate, God kills a kitten.” Isn’t the Internet wonderful?

Read On – Entries 1 through 5