Odds Bodkins!

Man Shot in Head - Didn't Notice!

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 16:56:00 +0000

A Polish man living in Germany was shot in the head five years ago and only recently found out.

He remembered being hit on the head during a New Year's Eve party but was too drunk to care. He recently went to the doctor's with a lump on his head. Surgeons dug out the bullet.

German beer works wonders for pain relief...

Man Guilty of Indecent Exposure in his own Home

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 19:02:00 +0000

At first glance, it seems strange that you can be found guilty when you are in your own home, but the fact is a child saw him naked.

He wasn't found guilty of obscenity, just indecent exposure. And not drawing the blinds...

Judge Finds In-Home Nudity Intentional, Indecent | NBC Washington:

"If you live in Virginia and don't own a bathrobe, it might be a good time to get one.

A judge convicted a Virginia man of indecent exposure Friday after he was seen through a window strutting around naked inside his house."

Texas police arrest intruder suspect in bath

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 21:24:00 +0000

After reports that an intruder had broken down a door of a house, Texas police arrived to find the culprit having a bath.

After a short struggle (always dangerous in a bathroom) the suspect was arrested and taken into custody.

Well, at least he came clean.

http://m.apnews.com/ap/db_15973/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=sNyGhEAE

Pop culture main reason Calif has Chihuahua crisis

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:02:00 +0000

Apparently over 30% of the dogs in animal shelters in some parts of California are chihuahuas!

The trend of small dogs being carried around like a toy is being blamed.

A novel solution is being considered - ship them to New York!

Headlines:
http://m.apnews.com/ap/db_9331/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=CIemFlTI

Irish School asks pupils to bring own toilet roll..

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:33:00 +0000

A school in Ireland beset with budget woes, has made a request to parents to send in a toilet roll with their children, so as to reduce the paper budget (or is that stationery budget?).

When I was at school a lot of the homework we produced could have been used as toilet paper - it wasn't much use for anything else!

I hope they've put their names on the rolls...

School asks pupils to bring own toilet roll

Window cleaner survives 6-story fall from bank building

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 16:07:00 +0000

Is there a patron saint of window cleaners? If there is it must of been looking out for this guy!

The window cleaner fell and his safety line didn't catch. He bounced off a small roof and landed on the gound. He broke a bone in his foot and cut his leg.

Wis. man survives 6-story fall from bank building - Yahoo! News

Five-million-year old sloth fossil found in Peru

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Tue, 26 May 2009 18:26:00 +0000

It actually took them a few days to realize it was dead....

The nearly intact fossil of an ancient sloth that lived 5 million years ago has been unearthed in Peru, a find about 4 million years older than similar ones discovered in the Americas, researchers said.

Five-million-year old sloth fossil found in Peru - Yahoo! News

2 Yellowstone workers fired after watering geyser

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Fri, 15 May 2009 14:37:00 +0000

Two workers in Yellowstone National Park were caught on camera urinating in "Old Faithful" the geyser there.

So THAT'S why they call it Yellowstone....

2 Yellowstone workers fired after watering geyser

Rotten fridge cleanup sends 7 to hospital

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Wed, 13 May 2009 18:10:00 +0000

People always joke about the things in fridges - particularly office fridges and students' fridges. This was one occasion when all those jokes became true! The fumes from the items in the fridge were so noxious that they had to call 911, and a hazmat team were sent in!

Rotten office fridge cleanup sends 7 to hospital

Statue of Jesus Made Out of Lego

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 19:35:00 +0000

A labor of love? Or are the sermons really boring?

Parishioners at a church in Sweden celebrated Easter on Sunday by unveiling a 6-foot-tall (1.8-meter-tall) statue of Jesus that they had built out of 30,000 Lego blocks.

Swedish parishioners unveil Lego statue of Jesus

German MP wants DNA testing on dog poo

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:28:00 +0000

There are other uses for this of course - postmen can sue if they get bitten and retain some DNA evidence, paternity tests could be run when someone's bitch gets knocked up and if the dog eats your homework...

Peter Stein, a conservative politician in eastern Germany, told AFP that under his proposal, officials would test the excrement and then match it up to the offending dog using a DNA database of all pooches.

German MP wants DNA testing on dog poo

Indian boy weds bitch

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 19:25:00 +0000

The dog finally relented after it was convinced the boy was committed to the relationship. Plus it got two rings and a chain. There must be better jokes than "His wife's a bitch"...but I can't think of any.

"A group of Indian tribals have married off a toddler to a female dog in eastern India in a bid to prevent his predicted death at the hands of a tiger, a report said Wednesday."

Indian boy weds dog to ward off tiger attack

Woman gives thief a wedgie

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 17:06:00 +0000

Yvonne Morris was brave enough to chase a man who had broken into a car, but then she went one step further - she gave him a wedgie! It is not known how the man plead, but he must have begged her to stop!

Woman uses wedgie to capture suspected thief

Woman jailed over 24,000-euro parking fine

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 16:19:00 +0000

She was also charged with leaving her turn signal on...

"An Austrian woman has begun a 500-day jail sentence for ignoring parking tickets and failing to pay a cumulative fine of around 24,000 euros (21,440 pound), police said on Tuesday."

Woman jailed over 24,000-euro parking fine - Yahoo! News

Thief breaks into toilet (he didn't have change)

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 16:12:00 +0000

Has anyone considered the fact that he wasn't actually trying to rob the safe but, in fact, desperate to use the bathroom? So many people who wear black clothing, carry drills, explosives and other tools that can be mistaken for burglary paraphernalia (and a bag that says "swag" of course) are arrested when all they want to do is tinkle.

It would be an interesting defence in court!

Lost thief holes up in bank lavatory - Yahoo! News:"A hapless thief drilled his way into a French bank at the weekend, but missed the safe and instead found himself in a lavatory where he was promptly arrested, a French newspaper reported Sunday."

There's Gold in That There Poop!

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 18:18:00 +0000

The thing I thought of first was gold teeth and people cleaning them.

Then I thought of lost jewelry down the toilet. It turns out its just industrial waste.

You never know what's in your sewage!

Sewage yields more gold than top mines - Yahoo! News: "A sewage treatment facility in central Japan has recorded a higher gold yield from sludge than can be found at some of the world's best mines."

Car lands on church, car park full

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 15:58:00 +0000

They normally get angels landing in churches, not drunk drivers. He'll be going to heaven with that luck!

"A German motorist missed a bend in the road, broke through a barrier and hurtled up a bank, crash-landing on a church roof in eastern Germany, police said on Monday."

Driver crash-lands car on church roof - Yahoo! News

Outrage about Virgin Mary with large bosom

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 17:38:00 +0000

She may well have been virgin, but she was definitely a woman. Yes, it may be in poor taste, but women do actually have breasts. And I'm assuming the Virgin Mary did too.

Sometimes complaining about things actually gives it more publicity than you wanted.

Outrage at busty Virgin Mary models - Yahoo! News: "A prominent fashion designer has sparked outrage in Chile by dressing up models like the Virgin Mary -- in some cases with ample, near-naked breasts."

You can't fire me, I'm drunk! - Yahoo! News

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 14:13:00 +0000

The thing is that no-one really knows what is under those judges' robes. it could be a hip flask with a whiskey for all we know. If I lived in Peru, I guess I'd have to start drinking...

You can't fire me, I'm drunk! - Yahoo! News: "Peru's top court has ruled that workers cannot be fired for being drunk on the job, a decision that was criticized by the government on Wednesday for setting a dangerous precedent.

The Constitutional Tribunal ordered that Pablo Cayo be given his job back as a janitor for the municipality of Chorrillos, which fired him for being intoxicated at work."

Couple weds at Taco Bell

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:32:00 +0000

I have to say the people quoted in this story seem to think it's a great idea to get married in Taco Bell. I'll consider it for my next wedding (don't tell my current wife though!).

'There's no stress': Couple weds at Taco Bell - Yahoo! News:

"Wedding bells meant Taco Bell for Paul and Caragh Brooks.

Customers inside the fast-food restaurant continued to order tacos and burritos as the couple sat Friday in an orange booth at Taco Bell and exchanged vows."

NY man demands estranged wife pay him for kidney - Yahoo! News

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 17:35:00 +0000

He should have made sure the kidney was put in the pre-nup agreement! Or kept the receipt...

A Long Island surgeon embroiled in a nearly four-year divorce proceeding wants his estranged wife to return the kidney he donated to her, although he says he'll settle for $1.5 million in compensation.
NY man demands estranged wife pay him for kidney - Yahoo! News

Gulp! Mexico tells citizens to swallow their gum - Yahoo! News

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 21:10:00 +0000

I didn't know gum was so popular in Mexico! It's one of those things that will probably be missed when it's cleaned up.

Gulp! Mexico tells citizens to swallow their gum - Yahoo! News: "The country that gave the world chewing gum is getting gummed up: The average square yard (meter) of Mexico City sidewalk has 70 blobs of discarded chew."

Polish woman gives birth at London Tube station

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 02:06:00 +0000

A homeless Polish woman gave birth at Kingsbury station on the Jubilee line. It is not known whether she was charged for a ticket for the baby.

"A Polish woman has become only the second person to give birth on London's Underground rail network since it opened 146 years ago, the capital's transport authority confirmed on Friday."

Polish woman gives birth at London Tube station

Ore. woman, 88, gives naked intruder's package the 'squeeze'

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 16:29:00 +0000

An 88-year-old woman fended off a naked intruder by grabbing the man's crotch and squeezing after he attacked her.

I'm glad that, at 88, she still had the presence of mind to fight back. He deserves all the discomfort he got!

Ore. woman, 88, gives naked intruder the 'squeeze' - Yahoo! News

Mexican beauty queen arrested for suspected drug smuggling

noreply@blogger.com (xtnshun) — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 18:58:00 +0000

Laura Zuniga, a Mexican beauty queen was arrested in the company of heavily armed, suspected drug traffickers and has been stripped of her Hispanic American beauty title.

Laura and seven men were detained at a military checkpoint in central Mexico on Monday. Police found assault rifles and $55,000 in cash in the luxury vehicles they had been driving.

Fortunately, she hasn't posed for Playboy, which seems an even bigger sin in beauty contest circles!

Mexican beauty queen dethroned after drug arrest - Yahoo! News