Studmarks

Week 24: Shivam Shimmies in Shikshteenth Place

2012-01-23T17:30:00.000Z

Shivam isn't used to this football malarkey

Sixteenth place Shivam Mehta has been suffering nothing but humiliation since we, here at Studmarks, so smugly accurately predicted his embarrassingly awful fall from the top of the table. Yet, this week sees him scoop a gasp-inbreathing runner-upping [with 19pts] in the grasp for the Manager of the Week certificate. Which, this week goes to...

Manager of the Week is Smasher for choosing his team and transfers so carefully and cleverly that his Inter Milandrover, a team name he still thinks is funny after all these years, netted a marvellous 26 points shoving his up and down table presence into this week's fifth.

Don't forget, Dear All, it's the cup soon. Week 26. Transfers anyone?

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       54.7 6 281
2 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 53.7 9 258
3 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.9 26 256
4 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5 6 253
5 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 -1 241
6 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      53.8 11 236
6 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        54.9 16 236
8 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           53.0 19 227
8 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0 9 227
10 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1 7 226
11 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.1 5 220
11 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7 7 220
13 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison          53.6 6 215
14 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9 11 214
15 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.8 7 212
16 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2 14 210
16 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9 19 210
18 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 17 208
19 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.3 16 202
20 Moobchester United     Jon King            52.4 0 198
21 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0 3 197
22 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8 3 194
23 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       55.0 5 189
24 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2 9 188
25 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0 7 186
26 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9 8 182
27 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.1 8 172
28 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0 15 170
29 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5 1 160
30 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0 13 157
31 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7 2 155
32 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0 7 138
33 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8 4 136
34 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5 10 129
34 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8 3 129

                          Week's Average Points         8
                          Total Average Points        200
---

Week 23: Phillam Fills Up.

2012-01-16T17:30:00.000Z

The Vejdovský Sisters

And for the second consecutive week, a manager issues a transfer, and instantly becomes Manager of the Week. No, not Jon King this time but Filip Vejdovský. That's right, after me everyone... "Vejdovský".

The manager of Phillham, Filip, chartered his Czech charges to churn out a chunky 19 points last week earning him the most wondrous of certificates.

And there we have it. All caught up.

T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 54.7 15 275
2 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 53.7 13 249
3 Sheep City Martyn Field 54.5 18 247
4 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 16 242
5 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.9 16 230
6 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 53.8 14 225
7 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 54.9 4 220
8 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 14 219
9 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 11 218
10 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 6 215

11 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 10 213
12 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 53.6 6 209
13 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 53.0 9 208
14 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.8 12 205
15 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 15 203
16 Moobchester United Jon King 52.4 18 198
17 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 5 196
18 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 8 194
19 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 0 191
19 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 15 191
19 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 10 191
22 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.3 19 186
23 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 55.0 6 184
24 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 13 179
24 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 2 179
26 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 7 174
27 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.1 16 164
28 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 5 159
29 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 -3 155
30 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 10 153
31 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 18 144
32 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 5 132
33 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 16 131
34 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 4 126
35 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 12 119

Week's Average Points 10
Total Average Points 192
---

Week 22: OFFL Cup First Round has been drawn

2012-01-09T17:30:00.000Z

I really wish I hadn't put "Moobs" into Google

Well looky here... A chappy hands in his transfer request and immediately becomes Manager of the Week. A collective retch can be heard up and down the OFFL landscape.

Jon King, Manager of the Week, 20 points. For his Moobs.

And now it's time for...

[Unexpected Fanfare]

The OFFL CUP 2012

Thanks to last year's Cup winner, Craig McHugh, a donation of a Cup Winners Prize landed on Our Chairman's desk earlier in the season. And like last season there's a runners up prize too.

First Prize: AllStars Football Book from 1975, intro by Colin Todd

Second Prize: a CD of popular Football anthems

You've got to be in it to win it of course, so just who is your team up against?

OFFL Cup First Round

To be played during Week 26.

The WWMC v Decimated Left Peg

Big Mally v Vonder Bramen

Double's United v Real Mannsdid

Chi'Knees Czechers v Sheep City

Woolyback Town AFC v Irishpool

Real McDrid v Stay Poyet Stay!

Poyekhali v Wardy's Wanderers

All Hail The Chairman v Phillham

Freddie's Dreamers v Shivam's Sneakers

Moreton United v Upmintster United

Moanchester v Norma Snockers FC

Radnorshire Tigers v ADFC

Shamone Muddy Funksters v RS T-Boy

Pathetic Athletic v It's A Snickers v Lashings of Cheese

Johnny's Heroes v BM Mingmongs v Moobchester United

Livercoolio v Pompey Puss v Inter Milandrover

So, get your transfers in.

T h e T a b l e

Value Points

Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot

--------------------------------------------------------

1 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 54.7 12 260

2 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 53.7 14 236

3 Sheep City Martyn Field 54.5 13 229

4 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 4 226

5 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 55.0 9 216

6 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.8 9 214

7 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 54.7 3 211

8 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 4 209

9 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 3 207

10 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 2 205

11 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 53.6 6 203

11 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 7 203

13 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.2 4 199

14 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 9 191

14 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 2 191

16 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 12 190

17 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 14 188

18 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 9 186

19 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 5 181

20 Moobchester United Jon King 52.4 20 180

21 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 55.0 12 178

22 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 4 177

23 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 3 176

24 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 2 167

24 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 5 167

26 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 6 166

27 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 1 158

28 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 7 154

29 Irishpool Mike Smears 55.0 12 148

30 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 5 143

31 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 3 127

32 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 2 126

33 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 8 122

34 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 -1 115

35 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 3 107

Week's Average Points 6

Total Average Points 181

---

Week 21: Whooping Weavers

2012-01-02T17:30:00.000Z

Manager of the Week this week is new-father-to-Jake Mark "@mrkwvrs" Weavers! His otherwise pathetic Pathetic Athletic notched up 25 massive points during this festive period. Congratulations. May Jake enjoy many quiet hours chewing the corners of the certificate.

T h e T a b l e

Value Points

Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot

--------------------------------------------------------

1 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 54.7 19 248

2 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.0 14 222

2 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 18 222

4 Sheep City Martyn Field 54.5 13 216

5 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 54.7 12 208

6 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 55.0 13 207

7 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 8 205

7 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.8 6 205

9 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 9 204

10 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 12 203

11 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 53.6 7 197

12 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 18 196

13 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.2 19 195

14 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 17 189

15 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 12 182

16 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 13 178

17 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 7 177

18 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 5 176

19 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 13 174

20 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 8 173

20 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 7 173

22 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 55.0 6 166

23 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 5 165

24 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 13 162

25 Moobchester United Jon King 53.5 8 160

25 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 2 160

27 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 17 157

28 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 4 147

29 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 25 138

30 Irishpool Mike Smears 55.0 10 136

31 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 13 124

31 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 -1 124

33 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 0 116

34 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 14 114

35 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 20 104

Week's Average Points 11

Total Average Points 174

---

Week 20: Three Managers. Again.

2011-12-26T17:30:00.000Z

Kevin Keegan in this year's OFFL Cup Prize

Another week with three claimants to the highly coveted Manager of the Week certificate. Many of you out there will be exasperated to learn that it STILL isn't your turn to be certified when you find out that the high scoring managers this week are Norma Snockers FC, Chi'Knees Czechers and BM Mingmongs. Meaning Sarah BingBong, Jirka O'Pat-Knee and Neil McConaghy have all steered their teams to 24pts.

Massive.

The OFFL HQ have refused to comment on the scandalous rumours, aimed at the current league leading manager Sarah Bingham, of 'child abuse' with the presentation of a potato. According to reports the child, Amelia, claimed that she "did be good". Officials are analysing the video evidence presented here...

OFFL Cup coming soon.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       54.7 24 229
2 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.0 17 208
3 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 24 204
4 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5 20 203
5 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.8 13 199
6 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2 16 197
7 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7 24 196
8 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0 22 195
9 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        55.0 19 194
10 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1 15 191
11 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison          53.6 19 190
12 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7 14 178
13 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2 10 176
14 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 6 172
15 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9 9 171
16 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2 20 170
16 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0 13 170
18 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0 16 166
19 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3 20 165
19 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8 11 165
21 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9 17 161
22 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8 10 160
22 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       55.0 13 160
24 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2 11 158
25 Moobchester United     Jon King            53.5 7 152
26 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9 19 149
27 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5 10 143
28 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0 8 140
29 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0 15 126
30 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0 12 125
31 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0 9 116
32 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7 4 113
33 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8 14 111
34 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8 4 100
35 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5 8 84

                          Week's Average Points        14
                          Total Average Points        163

Week 19: Three Managers

2011-12-19T17:30:00.000Z

I know, Gary... THREE managers of the week.

There are three managers who have to share the Manager of the Week certificate this week. Yes. I said three.

What was that? Who are they? Of course. They are Dave Clayton, Rachel Jones and Alun Edwards. Their Shamone Muddy Funksters, Double's United and Radnorshire Tigers respectively all nip off with 22 points each.

Impressive, huh?

How's Wardy's Wanderers getting on?... ah.

We can see you, Edgar Rayner.

T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 54.7 14 205
2 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.0 6 191
3 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.8 15 186
4 Sheep City Martyn Field 54.5 19 183
5 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 18 181
6 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 14 180
7 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 7 176
8 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 55.0 22 175
9 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 6 173
10 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 54.7 18 172

11 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 53.6 20 171
12 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.2 13 166
12 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 14 166
14 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 5 164
15 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 11 162
16 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 13 157
17 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 22 154
18 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 0 150
18 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 12 150
18 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 2 150
21 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 7 147
21 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 55.0 20 147
23 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 22 145
23 Moobchester United Jon King 53.5 17 145
25 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 12 144
26 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 11 133
27 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 11 132
28 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 12 130
29 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 11 113
30 Irishpool Mike Smears 55.0 15 111
31 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 16 109
32 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 14 107
33 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 11 97
34 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 14 96
35 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 0 76

Week's Average Points 12
Total Average Points 149
---

Week 18: Ward's withering

2011-12-12T17:30:00.000Z

Thanks to some expertly executed transfers, Rick Beecroft is this week's Manager of the Week. His RS T-Boys notched up an impressive 21 points.

And everyone look at Gavin Ward's Wardy's Wanderers. Fallen three places to the very bottom of the pile. By scoring nothing. NOTHING. You ARE your score.

T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 54.7 20 191
2 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.0 17 185
3 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.8 12 171
4 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 10 169
5 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 14 167
6 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 13 166
7 Sheep City Martyn Field 54.5 12 164
8 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 11 163
9 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 8 159
10 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 54.7 9 154

11 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.2 11 153
11 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 55.0 19 153
13 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 16 152
14 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 53.6 8 151
14 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 18 151
16 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 10 150
17 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 13 148
18 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 18 144
19 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 8 140
20 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 14 138
21 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 14 132
21 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 2 132
23 Moobchester United Jon King 53.5 1 128
24 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 55.0 21 127
25 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 19 123
26 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 12 122
27 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 18 121
28 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 3 118
29 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 6 102
30 Irishpool Mike Smears 55.0 9 96
31 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 8 93
31 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 14 93
33 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 14 86
34 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 13 82
35 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 0 76

Week's Average Points 11
Total Average Points 137
---

Week 17: Jirka

2011-12-05T18:12:00.000Z

Manager of the Week for Week 17 is Jirka Opatrny. And while you try and re-read that name without moving your lips, congratulate 'George' on him steering his Chi'Knees Czechers to a haul of 24 points. Making his team the biggest movers, up seven places into fifth.

1 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 54.7 18 171
2 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.0 22 168
3 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 19 159
3 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.8 23 159
5 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 24 153
5 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 14 153
7 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 13 152
7 Sheep City Martyn Field 54.5 9 152
9 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 19 151
10 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 54.7 19 145

11 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 53.6 15 143
12 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.2 10 142
13 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 9 140
14 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 7 136
15 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 16 135
16 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 55.0 10 134
17 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 7 133
18 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 11 132
19 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 13 130
20 Moobchester United Jon King 53.5 10 127
21 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 14 126
22 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 11 124
23 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 10 118
24 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 7 115
25 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 6 110
26 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 55.0 2 106
27 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 15 104
28 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 5 103
29 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 12 96
30 Irishpool Mike Smears 55.0 19 87
31 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 6 85
32 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 8 79
33 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 12 76
34 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 5 72
35 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 3 69

Week's Average Points 12
Total Average Points 125

Week 16 Shivam Shoots Himself in the Sneakers

2011-11-28T17:30:00.000Z

The Fall of the Sneakers

Remember Shivam Mehta? Top of the league and all lah-di-dah at the start of the season? The swaggering Fancy Dan giving it all that early on?

Yes. Of course you do.

Well his Shivam's Sneakers are the farthest fallers as they plummet down six places into fourteenth. Mid-table mediocrity.

As promised.

Manager of the Week is Edgar Rayner with his Moreton United scoring 21pts propelling themselves into tenth.

There's a change at the top too. Sheep City have been replaced by Norma Snockers FC at the top while ADFC continue their march up to second.

T h e T a b l e

Value Points

Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot

--------------------------------------------------------

1 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 53.8 16 153

2 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.0 18 146

3 Sheep City Martyn Field 54.5 5 143

4 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 12 140

5 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 9 139

5 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 17 139

7 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.8 16 136

8 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.2 9 132

8 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 11 132

10 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 21 131

11 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 3 129

11 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 11 129

13 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 53.6 15 128

14 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 54.7 11 126

14 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 4 126

16 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 55.0 8 124

17 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 17 121

18 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 14 119

19 Moobchester United Jon King 53.5 12 117

19 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 19 117

21 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 17 113

22 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 6 112

23 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 7 108

23 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 14 108

25 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 9 104

25 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.1 7 104

27 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 13 98

28 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 8 89

29 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 15 84

30 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 0 79

31 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 4 71

32 Irishpool Mike Smears 55.0 18 68

33 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 0 67

34 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 9 66

35 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 7 64

Week's Average Points 10

Total Average Points 113

---

Week 15: Minty's Wins weekly Certificate

2011-11-21T17:30:00.000Z

Manager of the Week is the gorgeously wonderful Minty Colquhoun. Her 19 points propel Upmintster United mintsterUp seven places, from eleventh to fourth. The certificate is yours, Ms Colquhoun.

T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Sheep City Martyn Field 54.5 3 138
2 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 53.8 3 137
3 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 16 130
4 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.0 6 128
4 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 19 128
6 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 11 126
7 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.2 12 123
8 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 4 122
8 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 4 122
10 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 13 121

11 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.8 4 120
12 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 5 118
13 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 55.0 18 116
14 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 54.7 10 115
15 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 53.6 16 113
16 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 7 110
17 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 9 106
18 Moobchester United Jon King 53.5 0 105
18 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 9 105
20 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 1 104
21 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 7 101
22 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 5 98
23 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.1 9 97
24 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 8 96
25 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 7 95
26 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 4 94
27 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 12 85
28 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 6 81
29 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 6 79
30 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 3 69
31 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 5 67
31 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 0 67
33 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 8 57
33 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 8 57
35 Irishpool Mike Smears 55.0 2 50

Week's Average Points 7
Total Average Points 102

Week 13: Martyn's Just Trumped

2011-11-07T17:30:00.000Z

Adriana is flying high

We have a new leader. Let me take you to him...

Martyn Field, Sheep City manager, has triumphantly trumped last fortnight's personal achievement of progressing back to work after serious illness by reaching the top of the Office Fantasy Football League table. He finally looks down at Sarah Bingham's Norma Snockers...

...this stuff writes itself, I tell you.

And another shared Manager of the Week certificate gets torn in two between Minty Colquhoun and yes, for the third week out of four, Adriana Chittelbummer. Their Upmintster Utd and ADFC, respectively, both score 23 points each. Ms Chittelchittelbangbang's ADFC are now flying high in third [finger in the ear, microphone pressed up under the nose...] "Remarkable!".

What else have we got for you? ...Highest Climbers: Upmintster Utd [up 9], Lowest Fallers: RS T-Boy [down 6].

Oi vey. We see Mark Weavers' ball has popped just as his wife is about to do the same. -8. That's an unbelievably bad score. Pathetic. Athletic. Good Luck.

T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Sheep City Martyn Field 54.5 10 135
2 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 53.8 2 134
3 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.0 23 122
4 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 7 118
4 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 14 118
6 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.7 17 116
7 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 -1 115
8 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 7 114
9 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 8 113
10 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.2 2 111

11 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 23 109
12 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 5 108
13 Moobchester United Jon King 54.2 1 105
13 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 54.7 9 105
15 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 15 103
15 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 7 103
17 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 54.9 1 98
18 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 53.6 6 97
18 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 13 97
20 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 6 96
21 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 8 94
22 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 18 93
23 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 4 90
24 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 4 88
24 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.1 -1 88
24 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 16 88
27 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 10 75
28 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 -8 73
28 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 3 73
30 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 9 67
31 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 11 66
32 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 5 62
33 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 7 49
33 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 1 49
35 Irishpool Mike Smears 55.0 6 48

Week's Average Points 7
Total Average Points 94

Week 12: A Massive Ten Places

2011-10-31T17:30:00.000Z

No internet in Australia

Manager of the Week, Adriana Chittelborough, scored a 'normous 23 points. Not ony is the week's point tally 'normous but her team's league position-jump is also 'normous. Chuffin' 'normous to be more specific. And to be even more specific... ADFC climb up a massive ten places in the league.

Foof.

Ms Chittelwhatsit was unable to comment from her holiday home in Australia. Only because they don't have internet down under yet.

Nick Reed, on the other hand, takes his torn half of the Manager of the Week certificate much less dramatically as Stay Poyet Stay! joins Adriana Chittelthingy's ADFC on 23 points.

'Spect.

T h e T a b l e

Value Points

Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot

--------------------------------------------------------

1 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 53.8 13 132

2 Sheep City Martyn Field 54.5 6 125

3 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 12 116

4 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 2 111

5 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.2 23 109

6 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 21 107

7 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 15 105

8 Moobchester United Jon King 54.2 5 104

8 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 15 104

10 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 19 103

11 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.9 23 99

11 Inter Milandrover Smasher 55.0 4 99

13 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 54.9 13 97

14 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 10 96

14 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 54.7 20 96

16 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 53.6 7 91

17 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 13 90

18 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.1 7 89

19 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 9 88

20 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 19 86

20 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 15 86

20 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 8 86

23 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 11 84

23 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 6 84

25 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 13 81

26 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 3 75

27 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 4 72

28 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 10 70

29 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 5 65

30 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 12 58

31 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 10 57

32 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 -4 55

33 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 15 48

34 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 6 42

34 Irishpool Mike Smears 55.0 8 42

Week's Average Points 10

Total Average Points 87

---

Week 11: Good Sheep, Bad Schandau

2011-10-24T17:30:00.000+01:00

While out on a scouting mission for German talent, Our Chairman did find himself having a steamy session with a naked Dresden girl. The naked local, who was also sitting next to her hunked-up boyfriend in the Steam Room at Bad Schandau quickly and coolly left without so much as raising an eyebrow of complaint at the awkward British repression on show. And talking of British Repression, Sheep City's Martyn Field [cough, choke] has decided to score enough points to push his team on to the top spot with Ms Bingham.

Manager of the Week with a team's score of 13 points is Alun Edwards of Radnorshire Tigers.

Everybody stare at Mike Smears... minus five. Tut tut.

T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 53.8 7 119
1 Sheep City Martyn Field 54.5 8 119
3 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 10 109
4 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 11 104
5 Moobchester United Jon King 54.2 7 99
6 Inter Milandrover Smasher 55.0 2 95
7 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 -3 90
8 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 4 89
9 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.2 9 86
9 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 3 86
9 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 5 86

12 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 53.6 3 84
12 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 12 84
12 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 54.9 10 84
15 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.1 7 82
16 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 5 79
17 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 6 78
17 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 1 78
19 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 0 77
20 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 54.7 2 76
20 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.9 7 76
22 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 -1 73
23 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 5 72
24 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 4 71
25 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 -4 68
25 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 5 68
27 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 9 67
28 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 13 60
28 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 3 60
30 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 6 59
31 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 -2 47
32 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 6 46
33 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 3 36
34 Irishpool Mike Smears 55.0 -5 34
35 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 1 33

Week's Average Points 4
Total Average Points 76
---

Week 09 & 10: Torn to Shreds

2011-10-17T17:30:00.000+01:00

Defence not doing its job

Promising defensive reputations were torn to shreds this week as too many managers, optimistically scanning up and down their respective team sheets, see players register minus points.

For example, Alex Blundell's Moanchester gives their manager something to, well, moan about by giving away 7 whole points, pulling themselves to the bottom of the pile. All Hail The Chairman's Rob Ivison isn't feeling too cocky either as his sycophantically named team fall to joint tenth by losing 5 points.

In more encouraging news however, an amazing score of 20 points for ADFC helps Adriana Chittelborough to her first ever Manager of the Week certificate. Studmarks has been reassured that the much coveted and highly fictional certificate will hang invisibly on her parlour wall.

[Adopts cockney accent/gait...]

...Be lucky

T h e T a b l e

Value Points

Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot

--------------------------------------------------------

1 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 53.8 1 112

2 Sheep City Martyn Field 54.5 7 111

3 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 2 99

4 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 -2 93

4 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 2 93

4 Inter Milandrover Smasher 55.0 5 93

7 Moobchester United Jon King 54.2 -1 92

8 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 8 85

9 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 -1 83

10 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 53.6 -5 81

10 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 2 81

12 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.2 5 77

12 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 11 77

12 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 0 77

15 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.1 -3 75

16 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 -3 74

16 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 2 74

16 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 54.7 1 74

16 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 54.9 4 74

20 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 0 72

20 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 5 72

20 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 10 72

23 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.9 20 69

24 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 4 67

24 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 13 67

26 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 2 63

27 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 8 58

28 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 2 57

29 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 8 53

30 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 1 49

31 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 1 47

32 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 -1 40

33 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.5 5 38

34 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 0 33

35 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 -7 32

Week's Average Points 3

Total Average Points 71

Week 8: Abominable

2011-10-03T17:30:00.000+01:00

Norma Snockers HQ

Norma Snockers are still on top, resting on the shoulders of Sheep City who bleating away in second. They are the first teams past the 100 point mark this season with the chasing pack not far behind.

What's that Shivam's Sneakers? Only 6 points this week? Yeah. Only 6.

Only 6.

Manager of the Week is our foppishly fluffy feline friend, and current OFFL Champion, Lionel Larking. He paw-swiped his team to a week's bowlful of 26 points and continues to mount his defence of the title. Which has never been successfully defended in 15 years by the way.

Everyone stare at Minty Colquhoun, Adriana Chittelborough, Alun Edwards and Gavin Ward as they fall past you. All plummet six places in the table. The Plummeting Humpty Numpties.

---
And finally, we remember James Wyse, Manager of Didcot Academicals in 2000/2001 season, who died last month. He was telling his usual terrible jokes to the very end. Like this one...

What do you call a male cattle that's just swallowed some semtex?

A bomb in a bull.

T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 53.8 12 111
2 Sheep City Martyn Field 55.0 16 104
3 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 6 97
4 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 13 95
5 Moobchester United Jon King 54.2 10 93
6 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 11 91
7 Inter Milandrover Smasher 55.0 18 88
8 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 51.7 16 86
9 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 20 84
10 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 11 79

11 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.1 13 78
12 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 20 77
12 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 13 77
12 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 8 77
15 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 55.0 22 73
16 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.1 8 72
16 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 20 72
16 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 13 72
19 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 54.9 11 70
20 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 4 67
21 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 8 66
22 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 17 63
23 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 20 62
24 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 9 61
25 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 13 55
26 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 16 54
27 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 5 50
28 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.9 5 49
29 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 12 48
30 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.4 6 46
31 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 8 45
32 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 26 41
33 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 24 39
34 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 4 33
34 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.5 14 33

Week's Average Points 12
Total Average Points 68

Week 5, 6 & 7: The Circle of Life

2011-09-26T19:30:00.000+01:00

And reminding us of the circle of life...
Large congratulations to Rick 'RS T-Baby' Beecroft who has managed to sire a daughter. Her middle name is not, more's the pity, 'Necessary On Bicycle?'. Welcome Isabel to Lord Beeky's world.

Is it though?

You'll get used to it eventually.

Rising highest, up nine, is Jirka 'Call Me George' Opatrny's Chi'Knees Czechers while falling furthest, eleven places to be exact, is Minty's Upmintster United.

Manager of the 'Week' is Sarah Bingham who managed to steer her Norma Snockers to a wobblingly large total of 58 points. This does, actually, lift and seperate her to the top of the table, knocking Mr Mehta of his *ing perch.

Not quite sure what a *ing perch is exactly but there we go...

T h e T a b l e

Value Points

Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot

--------------------------------------------------------

1 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 53.8 58 99

2 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 28 91

3 Sheep City Martyn Field 55.0 45 88

4 Moobchester United Jon King 54.2 41 83

5 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 30 82

6 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 48 80

7 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 51.7 38 70

7 Inter Milandrover Smasher 55.0 21 70

9 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 40 69

10 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 41 68

11 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.7 29 65

12 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.1 29 64

12 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.2 35 64

12 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 39 64

15 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 23 63

16 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 18 59

16 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 55.0 34 59

18 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 33 58

19 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 33 57

20 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 19 52

20 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 19 52

22 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 55.0 21 51

23 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 26 46

24 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 13 45

25 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.9 33 44

26 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 23 42

26 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 30 42

28 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.4 27 40

29 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 19 38

30 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 16 37

31 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.8 27 36

32 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 6 29

33 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.5 19 19

34 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 31 15

34 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 15 15

Week's Average Points 28

Total Average Points 55

Week 4: Tumbleweed

2011-09-05T17:30:00.047+01:00

You get weeks like this every once in a while. Nothing scored by anyone. Not a thing.

What's different about this week, however, is the number of real life transfers and player loans in the real Premiership world of reality. No, really. There were loads of them. Might be worth checking out the Players List if you're getting twitchy about your current line up. @RobIvison?

Forget ye not, any player already registered as playing for a club at the beginning of the season must stay allocated to that Premiership team. Nasri, for example: he'll be listed as an Arsenal player all season. Despite the fact that he'll be scoring hatfulls of goals for Manchester City.

Imagine the administrative nightmare were it not this way. Hmm. Well?

[Musical Interlude while imaginations start clunking into action]

[Sound of panting and wheezing drowns out Interlude Music]

Anyway, this may alter your tactics. You can now enjoy a midfield of Silva MC, Barry MC and Nasri ARS. All of them actually playing for Manchester City.

In the meantime, instead of befuzzling our older managers, like Mr Mike Smears for example, what we could do is have a pointless perusal at how popular your purchased platoon of players are...

Player Popularity
PIN Name Team Freq
------------------------
383 Nani MU 14
520 W Rooney MU 12
120 J Hart MC 11
164 L Baines EVE 11
509 L Suarez LIV 10
161 A Cole CHE 9
239 B Hangeland FUL 8
363 D Kuyt LIV 8
237 P Jagielka EVE 8
487 D Bent AV 7
247 V Kompany MC 7
357 C Adam LIV 7
337 F Malouda CHE 7
.
.

This leads us to wonder which team is the most 'popular' team in our league.

Ug?

Yes, which manager has picked the prevalently popular players?

We can work this out by giving every player a score according to how many times they appear in the League's teams. In other words, Nani gets a weighting of 14, Rooney 12, Hart 11, Baines 11 etc etc [see above table]. We then look at each team and add up the weightings for their players.

You know it makes sense...

Teams with the Most Popular Players Table

-----------------------------------------

Value PointsPopular

# Team Manager (GBPm) Tot Rating

--------------------------------------------------------------

2 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.60 52 93

6 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 54.60 41 86

30 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.00 12 80

17 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 55.00 29 79

1 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.90 63 78

9 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.70 36 78

20 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.00 25 77

3 Inter Milandrover Smasher 55.00 49 76

19 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.20 27 76

26 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.80 20 75

27 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.90 19 75

11 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.80 33 74

20 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.00 25 73

8 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.70 40 72

20 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 55.00 25 71

4 Sheep City Martyn Field 55.00 43 70

33 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.50 0 70

6 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.20 41 68

10 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.10 35 67

13 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.10 32 63

13 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 51.70 32 63

13 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.00 32 63

17 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.00 29 63

27 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.90 19 63

11 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.70 33 60

33 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.00 0 60

5 Moobchester United Jon King 54.20 42 59

32 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.80 9 58

16 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 55.00 30 56

29 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.40 13 53

23 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.50 24 51

31 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro54.90 11 51

25 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.00 21 39

24 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.50 23 38

I don't quite know what we can conclude from that but we can claim that Johnny's Heroes is the most popular team. Congratulations? And Wardy's Wanderers is the most unique. Congratulations also?

I think.

You make up your own mind.

Time to go.

By order of the omnipotent @OFFLChairman, the @OFFL is suspended for the next two full weeks. @Studmarks will be back and posting after the 23rd September.

You bunch of right little smashers.

Week 3: Sweet FA

2011-08-29T17:30:00.050+01:00

Shivam can't believe his luck.

This week's Highest Climbers, Phillham, jumped a massive fifteen places in order to leapfrog Czech rivals Chi'Knees Czechers. Managers Filip and Jirka will be providing the Eastern European challenge this year and, in between shifts working at the local tavern and hacking back the weeds on Our Chairman's estate, we can confirm that these staff are made of stiff stuff.

Manager of the Week this week is, once more, Shivam Mehta.

Indeed, despite knowing Sweet Football Association about the game, Shivam's Sneakers net a week's total of 39 points thus enhancing their promising opening few weeks of this season's OFFL. And making them the most hated team in the League.

Down thirteen places is Neil Jukes' Decimated Left Peg and look at that! Everyone look at Russia-bound Ashley Keeler. 1 point.

*Sniggerovski*

NB:
Due to Umpa Lumpa Trade Union negotiations, followed by a scouting trip to Africa, the OFFL will be suspended from 8th September to 22nd September. The @OFFLChairman thanks you for your patience.

T h e T a b l e

Value Points

Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot

--------------------------------------------------------

1 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 39 63

2 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 30 52

3 Inter Milandrover Smasher 55.0 29 49

4 Sheep City Martyn Field 55.0 25 43

5 Moobchester United Jon King 54.2 19 42

6 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.5 23 41

6 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 54.6 26 41

8 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 21 40

9 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.7 15 36

10 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.1 25 35

11 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 27 33

11 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 28 33

13 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 14 32

13 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 54.5 17 32

13 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 16 32

16 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 55.0 15 30

17 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 17 29

17 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 55.0 11 29

19 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 14 27

20 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 55.0 16 25

20 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 11 25

20 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 6 25

23 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 13 24

24 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 7 23

25 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 18 21

26 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.7 10 20

27 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 10 19

27 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 9 19

29 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.4 11 13

30 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 6 12

31 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.9 6 11

32 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.2 1 9

Week's Average Points 16

Total Average Points 30

---

Week 2:

2011-08-22T17:30:00.012+01:00

Manager of the Week Certificate gets torn in half to be Johnnily shared equally with Jon King and Sarah-Jane John. Moobchester Utd and Johnny's Heroes notched up an Aguero/Dzeko inspired 13 points each.

Farthest faller is Nick Reed whose Stay Poyet Stay! failed to stay anywhere near their first week's placing of seventh by plummetting, with his best Wilhelm Scream, thirteen places.

Everybody look at Nick 'Wilhelm Scream' Reed. Look at him!

T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 6 24
2 Moobchester United Jon King 54.2 13 23
3 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 13 22
4 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.7 12 21
5 Inter Milandrover Smasher 55.0 4 20
6 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 8 19
6 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 10 19
8 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 11 18
8 Wymondham Working Man'sSteve Tierney 54.5 4 18
8 Sheep City Martyn Field 55.0 12 18
8 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 55.0 12 18
12 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 10 16
12 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 10 16
14 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 54.5 12 15
14 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 54.6 4 15
14 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 55.0 10 15
17 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 5 13
18 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 6 12
19 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 11 11
20 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.1 1 10
20 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.7 5 10
20 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 7 10
23 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 9 9
23 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 55.0 6 9
25 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.2 8 8
26 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 6 6
26 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 1 6
28 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 5 5
28 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.9 5 5
30 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 3 3
31 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.4 -1 2

Week's Average Points 7
Total Average Points 13
---

Week 1: A New Season Is Born

2011-08-15T17:30:00.006+01:00

The New Season can literally be seen here, being born.

Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.

We'll keep this first one short shall we? Considering we've a couple of weeks to catch up on.

So let's explain a few things...

The rules? They can be found behind the link on the right under the word "rules". But the first and ONLY rule you truly need to remember is that 'The Chairman is Always Right'. Always. Even when he's wrong. Though he'll never be wrong. So there.

No more questions.

As we continue the quest to inject a litte romance into the cup, the current OFFL Cup Champions' Manager, Craig McHugh, has kindly donated this season's OFFL Cup prizes - more of that later.

In the meantime, Manager of the Week is the unashamedly totally-ignorant-of-all-things 'football', Shivam Mehta. Seriously. He wanted to pick David Beckham. He knows absolutely nothing.

And as much of a cruel and insane injustice as this week's League Table therefore appears, the Office Fantasy Football League Championship is a marathon, not a sprint. So, don't rush those transfers [Mr Ivison?]. You only have twelve to last you the entire season. Bide your time, wait till you see things a little more clearly and, sure enough, you'll be recklessly elbowing Mr Mehta out of your way in no time at all.

Seriously though and that innit and ting, Congratulations Shivam. Enjoy it while you can. As Yazz and her Plastic Population decided not to sing at the tail end of the 80s: the only way is down. Something Unpmintster United's manager will cringingly endorse from last year's performance [Chairman leans into view at the back, puts his swanny whistle to his lips and slides from high note to low note].

A BIT OF HOUSEKEEPING
The weekly email update, Studmarks, should be read in a proportional font [like Courier New 10 for example] so that the league table lines up all nice 'n' purdy.

Studmarks will usually consist of the following...

1. The League Table - useful for you to find out how poorly your team is doing against everyone else
2. A pointless bit of banterous drivel [if you're unlucky] that can easily be skipped past
3. Transfers and Stuff - useful if you want to see how the other managers are scuppering their chances
4. The Teams - useful to know if you want to see which of your defenders is on -17 and which of your strikers has failed to get off the mark
5. The Rules - useful, useful
6. The Players List - useful to see which players you should transfer into your team [just before they get injured for six months]
7. Who the hell does Shivam Mehta think he is?! Coming over to our league and taking all our top spots?

Overall and just like the manager of Vonder Bramen, it's all exasperatingly simple.

No, really it is.

If Francis 'Senior Moment' Fox can do it, so can you.

I shall leave you all with our motto. Useful as a calming mantra when things go distressingly awry with your team's performances....

"It's a marathon, not a sprint"

Editor of Studmarks
On behalf of The Chairman

PS
If you're receiving this email by mistake then let the helpdesk at Studmarks HQ know [Studmarks@gmail.com]. So we can laugh in your face and make you pick a team to join us.

Follow us at The Back of the 'Net here: http://offl.littlesmasher.com
Follow the Official OFFL twitter feed: http://twitter.com/OFFL
Comment away on the OFFL Facebook Page: http://j.mp/FB-OFFL

T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 18 18
2 Inter Milandrover Smasher 55.0 16 16
3 Wymondham Working Man'sSteve Tierney 54.5 14 14
4 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 54.6 11 11
4 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 11 11
6 Moobchester United Jon King 54.2 10 10
7 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.1 9 9
7 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 9 9
7 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.7 9 9
7 Decimated Left Peg Neil Jukes 55.0 9 9
11 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 8 8
12 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 7 7
13 Poyekhali Lester Clark 49.3 6 6
13 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 6 6
13 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 6 6
13 Sheep City Martyn Field 55.0 6 6
13 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 55.0 6 6
18 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.7 5 5
18 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 55.0 5 5
18 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 5 5
21 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.4 3 3
21 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 54.5 3 3
21 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 3 3
21 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 55.0 3 3
25 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 18 0
25 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 9 0
25 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.2 0 0
25 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.8 11 0
25 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 8 0
25 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 54.9 6 0
25 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 9 0

Week's Average Points 8
Total Average Points 6
---

Week 41: Another season passes into history

2011-05-30T17:30:00.062+01:00

The 2010/2011 OFF Champions: Pompey Puss

The OFFL Champions 2010/2011
Pompey Puss
Lionel Larking with 422 pts

The OFFL Cup Final 2011

Real McDrid 9 v 5 Sheep City
Craig McHugh Martyn field

Weeping in his hospital bed, desperately trying to get the use of his legs back, is Sheep City's most revered citizen - Martyn Field. It's unlikely that this abrupt and unsatisfying end to his season will make much of a splash in his rather readable blog about his attempt to recover from POEMS syndrome [http://martynsthoughtsonitall.blogspot.com] - A cold stark reminder, I'm sure you'll agree, that we should all keep things in perspective: I mean, who needs a white blood cell count anyway when there's the glory of OFFL to pursue?

Craig McHugh's victory-cum-gloat parade will take place outside his chip shop in Surbiton in his open-topped Citroen CV [well, the roof will be rolled back at the very least].

Craig wins the glorious statuette of Fabio Capello circa 2010. Like Colleen McLoughlin, Martyn consoles himself with the highly paid Wayne Rooney.

Meanwhile, Neil McConaghy attempts to draw the fire from the fact that his BM Mingmongs failed to come anywhere near their season of 2007/2008 by playing the 'Doing Something For Charity Card' [see below]. Yeah, yeah.

Sheep and the City: Martyn's getting better.

But look. Over there, on a hot tin roof. A feline silhouette bouncing up and down with the gleeful chaotic spasms of a Jedward Eurovision performance. Lionel Larking, forgetting his limping left leg and who only joined the competition to 'make up the numbers', is completely cat-a-hoop. He has finally added the Office Fantasy Football League Championship Title to the OFFL Cup that he won last year. And by a mere 5 points from Guy Harewood's Woolyback Town AFC too, who, in turn, can at least look back on the success of 2005/2006 for comfort when they too once lifted the trophy.

Alex Blundell is our final Manager of the Week as his team of no-hopers, Moanchester Utd, nipped in with 21 points lifting themselves two positions and cementing a final fifteenth place. Yawn.

Malcolm Pratt's Fat Malcademicals completed their Arsenal parody by falling to fourth in the table after being unable to keep in touch with the leaders. He will have to address the blunt 'Fancy Dan' play and the 'La-di-dah' passing game that leads his players to try walking the ball balletically into the net all the time. A team whose performances are very much in their manager's own style.

Just One Finger Albion finished off the season with the traditional negative score while West Vam spluttered across the 200 point mark to claim the wooden spoon. Meanwhile, Moobchester United managed to rise above the 'Total & Complete Dross' by finishing twenty-sixth as Bielby's Livercoolio reached for the line to finish third. Congratulations to all on yet another fine season without fines. [Mmm, the Chairman really must do something about that].

And talking of the Chairman, he's standing unopposed for re-election amid the usual allegations of impropriety. Don't worry, you don't have to do nor understand anything. Just turn up again next season and tell him how wonderful he his. Next Year's OFFL Cup, for instance, will be hosted by Rob Ivison's 'All Hail The Chairman'. Can't think why.

So, assuming the Chairman manages his annual pre-season escape from the clinic, we'll see you in August.

Have a happy Summer.

You're all rather wonderful.

The Studmarks Team
OFFL HQ
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 8 422
2 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 5 417
3 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.9 14 414
4 Fat Mal's MalcademicalsMalcolm Pratt 52.8 7 409
4 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 53.0 15 409
6 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 52.4 6 393
7 Budleigh Salterton FC Ashley Keeler 54.6 3 383
8 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 53.3 14 381
9 Inter Milandrover Smasher 53.7 11 375
10 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 54.9 18 356
11 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.6 10 350
12 Marmaduke's Army Edgar Rayner 54.9 10 344
13 Sheep City Martyn Field 55.0 5 340
14 Salad Dodgers Sarah Bingham 53.5 6 336
15 Moanchester Utd Alex Blundell 55.0 21 334
16 Real Mcdrid Craig McHugh 53.1 9 322
17 Dube Stars FC Khumbula Dube 54.1 15 319
18 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.9 5 318
19 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 52.2 6 314
20 Irishpool Mike Smears 52.3 4 305
20 Wymondham Wanderers Steve Tierney 52.7 5 305
22 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 53.5 1 294
23 Nuttingham Florist Andy Straw 52.2 2 283
24 Menarepigs3 Kate Wilson 54.2 1 266
25 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 52.9 1 261
26 Moobchester United Jonathan King 54.9 12 244
27 Just One Finger Albion Paddy Mirams 54.2 -2 236
28 Double's Utd Rachel Jones 54.4 1 225
29 Mintal Disorder Minty Colquhoun 52.7 9 214
30 West Vam Tom Vamos 54.8 14 202

Week's Average Points 7
Total Average Points 325

Week 40: 2 TEAMS, 2 POINTS, 2 DIFFERENCES.

2011-05-16T17:30:00.021+01:00

It's that time of year again

Unbelievably, there are just 2 points separating First from Second in the league table, Pompey Puss and Woolyback Town AFC respectively.

Yes, 2 points.

Those 2 points will be fought over in the last week of the OFFL Championship by just 2 team positions.

FB: Leighton Baines EVE v Glen Johnson LIV
MF: Dirk Kuyt LIV v Robin Van Der Vaart TOT

Forty weeks of scoring, of climbing up and down the League Table, of winning Manager of the Week Certificates, of trying to resist the temptation to create a junk mail filter for this weekly email... and it comes down to this.

The marathon has turned into a sprint.

This is as exciting as it's going to get.

[For this year, at any rate]

Meanwhile, Malcademicals failed to take advantage of the week to keep up the pressure and now look like 'doing an Arsenal' - dropping to fourth - as Russell Bielby's Livercoolio's week's score of 19 take them right up onto the Pratt's shoulder.

Manager of the Week, the penultimate week, is Ashley Keeler of Budleigh Salterton FC. He steered his seventh place team to a week's haul of 26 points, jumping two places into an unlikely seventh. Scant consolation for his failure to lead his team out onto the Wemmbley-Hogg turf. Scant consolation for us also as we were hoping to legitimately use that gag ages ago. [Wemmbley-Hogg? Budleigh Salterton? - Someone google it]

Mintal Disorder finally leaps past the 200 point mark and looks safe from her seemingly destined wooden spoon award as Tom Vamos takes occupancy of her bottom slot.

Cough.

And so...

The OFFL Cup Final

REAL MCDRID v SHEEP CITY

Craig McHugh Martyn Field

And fighting it out for the OFFL Cup for these two teams are...

FB J O'Shea MU v G Clichy ARS

FB P Bardsley SUN v L Ridgewell BIR

CB M Skrtel LIV v D Shittu BOL

CB B Hangeland FUL v R Shawcross STO

MF F Malouda CHE v F Lampard CHE

MF T Walcott ARS v A Young AV

MF K Nolan NEW v R Giggs MU

ST J Hernandez MU v D Berbatov MU

Guaranteed to be more exciting than the Man City Stoke City bore-a-thon.

Enjoy the last week folks.

T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 2 414
2 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 4 412
3 Fat Mal's MalcademicalsMalcolm Pratt 52.8 9 402
4 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.9 19 400
5 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 53.0 20 394
6 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 52.4 9 387
7 Budleigh Salterton FC Ashley Keeler 54.6 26 380
8 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 53.3 6 367
9 Inter Milandrover Smasher 53.7 2 364
10 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.6 1 340
11 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 54.9 15 338
12 Sheep City Martyn Field 55.0 7 335
13 Marmaduke's Army Edgar Rayner 54.9 2 334
14 Salad Dodgers Sarah Bingham 53.5 0 330
15 Real Mcdrid Craig McHugh 53.1 6 313
15 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.9 3 313
15 Moanchester Utd Alex Blundell 55.0 6 313
18 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 52.2 5 308
19 Dube Stars FC Khumbula Dube 54.1 6 304
20 Irishpool Mike Smears 52.3 3 301
21 Wymondham Wanderers Steve Tierney 52.7 0 300
22 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 53.5 4 293
23 Nuttingham Florist Andy Straw 52.2 4 281
24 Menarepigs3 Kate Wilson 54.2 13 265
25 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 52.9 3 260
26 Just One Finger Albion Paddy Mirams 54.2 8 238
27 Moobchester United Jonathan King 54.9 18 232
28 Double's Utd Rachel Jones 54.4 8 224
29 Mintal Disorder Minty Colquhoun 52.7 6 205
30 West Vam Tom Vamos 54.8 6 188

Week's Average Points 7
Total Average Points 317

Week 39: The End Is Nigh

2011-05-09T17:30:00.005+01:00

Get ready to kiss the season goodbye

The title, it may not have been noticed, is actually being fought and won on the performances of just four premiership players. That is if we assume that the Malcademicals are a lost cause. Indeed, so similar are their teams that Pompey Puss and Woolyback Town AFC have transferred themselves into the following battle:

Leighton Baines EVE v Gareth Bale TOT
Dirk Kuyt LIV v Robin Van Der Vaart TOT

Managers of the Week are Nick Reed, Kate Wilson and Jonathan King. Their Stay Poyet Stay!, Menarepigs3 and Moobchester United respectively each scored a smaller than mammoth 8 points. Congratulations. The embers of the season may be fading out but your passion for the Manager of the Week Certificate burns brightly my friends.

I can tell.

All Hail The Chairman are highest climbers this week... the wonderfully monikered mob splutter up two places.

Ahem...

Try not to meet the eyes of either Neil Mcconaghy nor Steve Tierney this week. -3. Foof.

OFFL Cup Final
The OFFL Cup Final will be played in Week 41 between Real McDrid and Sheep City

Hart MC, Fabregas ARS and Drogba CHE are the only players shared by the finalists with transfers still left to play. And that's why the cup still has its romance.

T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 4 412
2 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.4 5 408
3 Fat Mal's MalcademicalsMalcolm Pratt 52.8 4 393
4 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.9 1 381
5 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 52.4 -3 378
6 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 53.0 8 374
7 Inter Milandrover Smasher 53.7 0 362
8 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 53.3 -2 361
9 Budleigh Salterton FC Ashley Keeler 54.6 7 354
10 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.6 0 339
11 Marmaduke's Army Edgar Rayner 54.9 -1 332
12 Salad Dodgers Sarah Bingham 53.5 -2 330
13 Sheep City Martyn Field 55.0 5 328
14 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 54.9 3 323
15 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.9 -1 310
16 Real Mcdrid Craig McHugh 53.1 3 307
16 Moanchester Utd Alex Blundell 55.0 3 307
18 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 52.2 5 303
19 Wymondham Wanderers Steve Tierney 52.7 -3 300
20 Irishpool Mike Smears 52.3 -1 298
20 Dube Stars FC Khumbula Dube 54.1 5 298
22 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 53.5 3 289
23 Nuttingham Florist Andy Straw 52.2 1 277
24 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 52.9 4 257
25 Menarepigs3 Kate Wilson 54.2 8 252
26 Just One Finger Albion Paddy Mirams 54.2 2 230
27 Double's Utd Rachel Jones 54.4 2 216
28 Moobchester United Jonathan King 54.9 8 214
29 Mintal Disorder Minty Colquhoun 52.7 3 199
30 West Vam Tom Vamos 54.8 1 182

Week's Average Points 2
Total Average Points 310
---

Week 38: OFFL Cup Semi-Final Results

2011-05-02T17:30:00.027+01:00

The lead has changed at the top of the table once more with a Puss in poll. The Woolybacks are looking worried and Malcademicals aren't quite sure what they've got to do to sew this thing up.

As far as the OFFL Cup is concerned: due to licensing restrictions we were unable to bring you the Cup Song of Stay Poyet Stay! last week. I can confirm it was sung at their clash with Real McDrid and it can be heard, and sung along to, at this address...

http://studmarks.blogspot.com/2011/05/stay-poyet-stay-offl-cup-song.html

Cracking stuff. Give it a go if you haven't already - 'tis rather catchy.

Manager of the Week is hospital-bound Martyn Field of Sheep City whose staggering 22 pts not only won the coveted Certificate but also helped him in his Semi-Final tie with Sarah Bingham's Salad Dodgers.

And speaking of which...

OFFL Cup Semi-Finals Results
============================

Stay Poyet Stay! 10 v 14 Real McDrid
Nick Reed Craig McHugh

Sheep City 22 v 18 Salad Dodgers
Martyn Field Sarah Bingham


The Final will therefore be played between

Real McDrid v Sheep City
Craig McHugh Martyn Field

---

T h e T a b l e

Value Points

Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot

--------------------------------------------------------

1 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 13 408

2 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.4 6 403

3 Fat Mal's MalcademicalsMalcolm Pratt 52.8 12 389

4 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 52.4 16 381

5 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.9 20 380

6 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 53.0 10 366

7 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 53.3 14 363

8 Inter Milandrover Smasher 53.7 10 362

9 Budleigh Salterton FC Ashley Keeler 54.6 18 347

10 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.6 10 339

11 Marmaduke's Army Edgar Rayner 54.9 9 333

12 Salad Dodgers Sarah Bingham 53.5 18 332

13 Sheep City Martyn Field 55.0 22 323

14 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 54.9 17 320

15 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.9 -1 311

16 Real Mcdrid Craig McHugh 54.5 14 304

16 Moanchester Utd Alex Blundell 55.0 13 304

18 Wymondham Wanderers Steve Tierney 52.7 5 303

19 Irishpool Mike Smears 52.3 -1 299

20 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 52.2 5 298

21 Dube Stars FC Khumbula Dube 54.1 6 293

22 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 53.5 10 286

23 Nuttingham Florist Andy Straw 52.2 4 276

24 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 52.9 8 253

25 Menarepigs3 Kate Wilson 54.2 11 244

26 Just One Finger Albion Paddy Mirams 54.2 10 228

27 Double's Utd Rachel Jones 54.4 0 214

28 Moobchester United Jonathan King 54.9 19 206

29 Mintal Disorder Minty Colquhoun 52.7 3 196

30 West Vam Tom Vamos 54.8 11 181

Week's Average Points 10

Total Average Points 308

Stay Poyet Stay! OFFL Cup Song

2011-05-02T17:30:00.014+01:00

Download here

In 1994 he won the Copa del Rey

Learnt his managing skills from a man called Juande
Assistant at Swindon, assistant at Leeds
Where others have failed, big Gus succeeds...

So

Stay Poyet Stay
In white and blue on the Wembley Way
Stay Poyet Stay-oh
We're playing for our man from Montevideo

He's built a side to win nPower league one
Defend to the death, scoring goals for fun
The dross he sells and stars he's buyin
He's our number one and he's Uruguayan

So

Stay Poyet Stay
In white and blue on the Wembley Way
Stay Poyet Stay-oh
We'll playing for our man from Montevideo

Stay Poyet Stay
In white and blue on the Wembley Way
Stay Poyet Stay-oh
We'll playing for our man from Montevideo