Off Track Planet

Links for 2012-02-08 [Digg]

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:00:00 PST

Beer Helps Ultra-Marathoner Run Around the World
Irish ultra-marathon runner Richard Donovan has become the first man on the planet to run seven marathons on seven continents in less than five days--thanks to a bottle of beer.

Links for 2012-02-04 [Digg]

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 00:00:00 PST

African Marriage Ritual (Photos)
See photos of African marriage rituals (including Berber, Swahili, Masai, and more) in this travel photo gallery from National Geographic.

Links for 2012-02-03 [Digg]

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 00:00:00 PST

Extreme cold weather hits Europe [The Big Picture]
Frigid temperatures have gripped Europe in the last week, with the mercury reaching as low as 35 degrees Celsius below zero. After what had been a relatively mild winter, the sudden cold caught many unprepared. Eastern Europe is hardest hit, with over 100 deaths in Ukraine, and over 11,000 in remote villages cut off by snow in Serbia. Most of the fatalities recorded have been homeless people found frozen to death outside, and emergency tents with hot meals have been set up to help them in several affected countries. Russia and Poland are mobilizing help for the homeless. Travel in Romania has

5 Movies You Must Watch Before Going to London

sarahtg — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:01:28 +0000

Written By: Sarah Binion

London’s intricate canals, Victorian buildings and gritty winding streets have been the backdrop for hundreds of movies and nailing down just five pre-departure flicks is as hard as getting into the Queen’s knickers. We at OTP rise to the challenge to bring you the five best screenshots of London. Drink a pint of your favorite English bitter, munch on some bangers and mash and have a go at these great English films.

Watch the Trailer

This film is famous for summing up London in one line: “London, you know, fish, chips, cup ‘o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins.”

Guy Ritchie, we love you more than a pikey loves his caravan. Diamond heists, Benicio del Toro, fixed boxing matches, gangsters, guns, and a fast-talking Irish gypsy played by Brad Pitt, all make their way into this classic mobster flick. The accents are thicker than a bucket of marmite, so listen closely or turn on the subtitles. Plot twists, irony, and a movie title that doubles as lady parts, make for a can’t miss flick before you head to London.

Watch the Trailer

Only in England would an executioner wonder how to address a Duke before he hangs him the following morning (“Your Grace,” in case you were wondering). So begins Kind Hearts and Coronets, which was filmed in black and white but recently digitally re-mastered and re-released in 2011.

The plot line is simple: Louis Manzinni is 8^th in line to inherit the title of Duke of Chalfont and the only thing standing in his way, of course, are the other heirs. So Louis sets out to remove the obstacles to his inheritance and thus ensues a dark comedy set in Edwardian England with scenes filmed around London and the English countryside. Watching the Alec Guiness (you know, Obi Wan-Kenobi?) play all eight of the Manzinni heirs he has set out to murder is brilliant.

Watch the Trailer

Match Point is Woody Allen’s take on a modern film noir laced with subtle characters and grainy musical scoring. Chris Wilton (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), a former tennis pro, befriends Tom Hewett and is set up with Tom’s sister, Chloe. Tom, at the time, is engaged to Nola, an American actress played by the hot ass Scarlett Johansson. Chris and Chloe begin dating but Chris has a secret boner for Nola and they start a scandalous hook-up that continues even after Chris and Chloe are married. We don’t want to ruin it, but shit gets real sleazy.

This film touches on the English undercurrent of classicism, as Chris comes from a working class Irish family and the Hewetts are a rich English family with a large country estate. London appears in the details with pub settings, black cabs, a flat (the cooler English way to say “apartment”) with a coveted view of the Thames and scenes in the Tate Modern. Match Point is a good film to catch a glimpse of the daily lives of Londoners, with an adulterous twist.

Watch the Trailer

In the decade of Mad Men and the Beatles, Blow-Up revolves around Thomas, a talented but chronically bored and impatient photographer, who accidentally captures a murder while taking pictures in the park. A young Vanessa Redgrave makes an appearance, as do the Yardbirds (Eric Clapton, before his solo career) who perform “Stroll On” in the latter part of the film. Heavy on English innuendo and suspense, this film often leaves the viewer to fill in the blanks.

London’s architecture has changed little since the 60’s and Maryon Park, where the eerie park scenes were filmed, has also remained almost entirely the same. Also, if you like movies that feature three-somes with models, mary-janes, murder, sub-plots and the streets of London set against a mod backdrop, Blow-up is your film.

Watch the Trailer

Love Actually showcases some of the best of London (even Wandsworth, the dodgy end) and is cleverly written and directed, by Richard Curtis of Notting Hill fame. There are 10 character plots, some of which overlap, that all lead up to Christmas in London. It’s an easy on the eyes rom-com with a superstar cast of characters including Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman and, English essential, Hugh Grant, as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Getting mushy for Hugh Grant is not a crime.

Watch the Trailer

It just wouldn’t be a list of London movies without a Bond film. Back in the days when Pierce Brosnan was Bond, this film had one of the best chase scenes in London. Bond drives a still-experimental boat off the back of MI-6 and into the Thames where he, naturally, pursues a beautiful assassin eastward from Vauxhall, past Parliament, through the Docklands, finishing the chase with a hot air balloon scene over the O2 Arena in Greenwich; a London geography lesson of sorts. Guys will love the gadgets, girls will fantasize about Pierce Brosnan and everyone will be just a little more badass post-viewing.

After a few hours in front of the tube, you’ll be schooled on London from every cinematic angle. Now, go find a dodgy pub and strike up a conversation with a local about your newly acquired London knowledge. If you can find a diamond to heist while you’re at it, then we’ve done our job.

Bootleg Drinks Around the World

Lorenzorob — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:39:24 +0000

Booze can be damn expensive, hard to come by or downright illegal in some parts of the world. But as they say in the brewing community, “where there’s a still there’s a way”. To help you understand the extent some people go through for their buzz, OTP’s cooked up some of the funkiest, dangerous and tastiest bootleg purple-drank from all over the globe.

This drink abounds in local stores, churches and livers, but the better (and stronger) shit is only found in the private pantry. A number of fruit–even walnuts, biatch!–can be used to make this spirit, but the most common mixes involve plums or grapes. Your point of entry is at a funeral, where everyone takes a cup of it, pours a nip for the dead and kicks the rest back. They also serve it as Christ’s blood in church (who knew Jesus cured Sunday morning hangovers?)

Brazil: Maria Louca (&*wtf%?!)

Translating to Crazy Maria, this stuff’s a swig of sheer willpower. Depending on the ingredients, which can vary from fruit peels to candy (and perhaps prison-bitch tears), your cup might taste of jolly-ranchers or bittersweet horror! It’s the drink of choice for starved (yet resourceful) Brazilian prisoners, so don’t go looking too hard for it. Instead, make your own next Halloween; nobody eats those damn strawberry-wrapped things anyway.

Bum wines (see also: ‘Night Train’, ‘MD 20/20’ and ‘Cisco’) were made for one reason, and that’s to get hobos drunk and warm for little to no cost. Thunderbird’s the most famous for its 70’s ad campaign–what’s the word?–and smells/ tastes like fucking fossil fuel mixed with toddler-nuggets, with the added bonus of dying your tongue a mysterious shade of black. Finding the stuff is a classic American snipe-hunt, as it’s only found in select liquor stores, often in the worst parts of town. See if you can get some without getting shot up with bullets or meth. Luckily, drinking the stuff isn’t said to make you homeless–immediately.

The street slang for this shit is ‘pétrole’, whatever that means. When scoring your Lotoko, make sure to ask what’s actually inside of the oil barrel (if you like to live or whatever). This moonshine’s either made from corn, yucca or plantains, and the corn stuff can kill you (or at least fuck you up the wrong way). Methanol–which is toxic–will be floating around in the corn cob barrels, so make like Food Inc. and say no to corn.

India: Tharra (90%)

When you’re a migrant laborer in rural India, there’s only one way to feelin’ good. Tharra is a nasty-smelling sugarcane brew that’s so putrid, it needs to sit in the fields to air out (and that’s coming from people who sometimes cook their food with cow dung). To steer clear of the stink, rock your body with some Toddy. It’s a palm wine that South Indians drink to get schwayze when the weather’s nice and the day’s long.

OTP Bonus: Feni is a popular underground drink in Goa made from cashews that has recently taken a turn toward the tourist circuit.

They call this stuff ‘kill me quick’ on the streets. The corn or millet-based liquor is nothing short of a gang bang for your insides. While the alcohol content is high, the real danger lies in the post-fermentation junk added by vendors. Battery acid’s a local favorite, and jet fuel comes in for a close second. Even the locals know, Changaa’s often a last resort, so dangerous that the government legalized it just so they could stop the havoc.

The ‘water of life’ these days is a high-class digestif on dessert menus, but its history goes all the way back to the French boondocks. If wine’s weak brandy, brandy’s weak Eau de Vie. Anyone who’s tried it before (and likes their eyebrows) knows not to breathe near open flames as its so freaking strong, your eyeballs will evaporate. For something similar with the extra twist of illicit-ness, find some Tsipouro while packing through Greece. Same stuff, different context.

Consider yourself informed: if the beers are too pricey wherever you might be, there’s always some liquid love bubbling in someone’s backyard. Moonshine is a global phenomenon, anywhere you go will have its stories, and some characters to tell them to your over a drink. Just don’t go chugging liquid poison of the actual killing kind.

Top 10 Things to Do in Rio on a Backpacker’s Budget

biros — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:48:33 +0000

Crazy costumes, thong bikinis, sugary lime cocktails, beaches, mountains and sexy Brazilians partying through the night are images that have put Rio on the tourist radar. But with fame, comes fortune and Rio’s wow factor now carries an increasing price tag. Hang with OTP as we show you how you can still live it up without giving it up.

Catch any intra-city match up of Rio’s four teams to watch fan lunacy at its peak. Grab a cheap ticket (starting at $15) to sit with the rowdies, but head way up top to elude the showering of drinks turned projectiles after a shitty call. The drums, songs and sea of giant flags up there are just as good as the show on the pitch. While you’ll still find the same crazed carioca fans at every stadium, the legendary Maracanã stadium is unfortunately undergoing a $600 million Joan Rivers-esque face lift and won’t see soccer again until 2013.

OTP Tip: Flamengo is Brazil’s Yankees, so you already have a team to either love or hate. Warning: Away team fans are physically distanced from the locals, get police escorts out of the stadium and bring a change of clothes to avoid trouble outside. So check team colors beforehand to avoid actual nosebleeds in the cheap sections.

Rising from Guanabara Bay like a pair of titties in desperate need of augmentation, Pão de Açucar (Sugarloaf) and the lesser Morro de Açucar (Sugar hill) are on every Rio postcard. The cable cars that herd tourists to the top were made famous in the James Bond film Moonraker. Make Bond look like an Octopussy by skipping the cars and climb that shit instead. Unless you’re an expert climber, you’ll want a guide (about $35 bucks) or experienced local to lead you and rig up the ropes. Dodge the midday heat and start in late afternoon to summit by sunset. At the top, watch the sky fire up as the sun dips behind Christo Redentor and sets Rio into motion for the night. Cable cars down are free after 7 pm.

Get Schooled
Carnaval is Rio’s most famous party, but the million tourists that pack the city leave little room for a backpacker on a budget. You can still get a taste of Carnaval at a weekly samba school rehearsal starting up to six months before the main event. For $5 – $10 at the local favorite Mangueira school, you’ll sample what others will be paying hundreds to see at the sambadrome during the festival. The show gets more polished and extravagant as Carnaval approaches, but the drinks stay cheap and the people are always welcoming.

Where art galleries, restaurants and bars occupy century-old mansions, Santa Teresa is a great place to wander. The tram is out of action indefinitely after a deadly derailment, so cab it to the top and trickle your way down on foot. Stop for a late dinner at Bar do Arnaudo where a huge $20 dish of carne de sol will make you dream of stretchy pants. Afterward, waddle out to the street and let gravity guide you to the world famous Selarón steps (as seen in Snoop Dogg’s “Beautiful” video). At the bottom of this forever evolving masterpiece of tiles and international ceramics, you’ll be in Lapa, where evenings quickly turn to all-nighters.

On Friday nights, young cariocas and tourists head to the arches in Rio’s Lapa neighborhood for a raging free street party, where vendors hawk cheap drinks and drunk food. Get your fill of liquid courage on the streets, head inside one of clubs lining the arches and bust out your gringo dance moves.

OTP Tip: A fancy-looking hole in the wall (next to the Rio Rock & Blues), the tiny Drinkeria Express com Coelho, is the spot to hit for an endless array of caipirinhas and caipifrutas for only 5 reais (about $3).

So You Say You’re an Ass Man?
Rio is dominated by a coastline of beaches, with sights that range from bronzed and beautiful to god awful prune and sag. Copacabana beach became famous in the ’50s, which still draws the nostalgia crowd from that era (prunes). Ipanema beach is much easier on the eyes. At posto 9, make-you-jeaous dudes kick around soccer balls while damn-gurl ladies sip from coconuts. If Ipanema is too crowded, venture west to the 11 mile beach in Barra da Tijuca where you’ll find an equally sexy collection of cariocas at Pepê – between Posto 1 and 2.

OTP Bonus: The remote Prainha and hidden Joatinga, both only reachable by car, are the closest to beach solitude you’ll find around Rio.

On Sunday nights, the brothel turned nightclub of Casa Rosa is miles from the touristy zones in the Laranjeiras neighborhood. While $20 will no longer let you drop your pants here (or anywhere), it will get you two Brazilian favorites – entrance to see a live samba band and a heaping plate of feijoada. This national dish of Brazil piles a heavy stew of black beans and reject pig meat on a bed of white rice with sides of collard greens, farofa and orange slices. After your feast settles, join the locals dancing samba in the courtyard or pop into one of the other rooms for a DJ, live local band or capoeira show. Don’t think about the unspeakable acts that took place here in the past. Instead, warm up to a carioca and work on getting the goods for free.

As you may know from City of God, life in these shanty towns isn’t all peaches and sunshine. But passing up the favelas during your stay in Rio gives you a sheltered look of the city that fails to consider one-fifth of Brazil’s population. Get the full picture by spending some time down in real poverty. While a lone day walk through a favela will not land you in a stack of gasoline-soaked tires, a guide is useful to learn some history and avoid getting lost in the concrete jungle. The favela residents from Carioca Free Culture will walk you through Rocinha, the granddaddy of Rio favelas and home to several hundred thousand cariocas. This zero-overhead, intimate tour through life on the broke side of town is the most authentic and reasonable you’ll find in Rio.

Take a Hike
You don’t need to leave the city for a break from the Rio’s bustle and heat. Jardim Botânico, located just across the lagoa from Ipanema, is a lush, peaceful garden escape for about $3. More adventurous options exist a bit further away in Tijuca National Park – the largest urban forest in the world where you can hike endless trails through waterfalls, caves and mountain peaks while exotic birds and monkeys taunt you from above, all for nada.

Are you loving the new Sony Cybershot you bought just for this trip? So is that shady guy watching you from across the street. Rio has historically been a dangerous place for tourists, but recent attempts to clean up the city for the World Cup and Olympics have raised safety levels some. Common sense worth printing:

Keep valuables in your front pockets and keep your hands on them or over your purse zipper when walking through crowds.
Wear the camera wrist strap when taking a picture to avoid a snatch and dash.
Carry a wallet or purse but only keep a small amount of cash, passport copy and a single credit/debit card.
Avoid dark or deserted streets at night and jump in a taxi if needed.

Hey look, you’ve got all your shit. You’re welcome.

The best of Rio can be yours for cheap or less. Throw your hips on samba mode and see why cariocas call their city the best in the world.

OTP’s Guide to Street Food: Chiapas, Mexico

Astar — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:57:32 +0000

Written By: Bianca Rappaport and Anna Starostinetskaya

Way more than the bastardized burritos and nachos you pick up at window #2, Mexican food is such a big deal, the cuisine was named by UNESCO as an intangible cultural heritage of mankind. Suffice it to say, Mexicans don’t fuck around when it comes to food. Spicy, tangy and full of rich soul, the Chiapas region is also the cheapest in all of Mexico, making all its edibles available to you at street food prices.

In Chiapas, it all starts with corn, a sacred crop deeply embedded in Mayan culture and considered a gift from the gods. Elote (corn on the cob) is a major street food and is usually grilled, then super-slathered in mayo. To layer flavor on your natural stick of Mexican food history, other topping options include chili powder, butter, salt, grated cotija cheese, salsa picante and lemon or lime juice. If picking corn out of your teeth on the streets gets grueling, check out elote’s loose cousin, esquite, which is corn cut off the cob into a bowl with a mixture of the above ingredients and eaten with a spoon. Add some corn to your corn by chugging down disease-curing pozol, a drink made of corn dough and water (pozol blanco), or mixed with cacao (pozol de cacao), and popular during Mayan ceremonies and believed to help the Indígenas make long journeys through the jungle. When your corn baby fully matures, flush and don’t look down.

Nucú

Why yes, those are curled up ant legs on your plate. Nucú (aka chicatana), a Chiapas specialty, are essentially delicious, oversized queen ants filled with thousands of eggs. Usually roasted and salted, served with lime juice and chile, and sometimes in tacos (if you like an extra crunch). Wash the Chiapas caviar down with some posh, a local sugar-cane based liquor. Nucú mate in swarm orgies every June, after which all the males die leaving bloated females to sit around until dinnertime. Best to take off their head and direct your bite straight at their fat asses.

A healthy street treat, jicaleta is a slice of refreshment on a stick. Jícama (also known as “yam bean” or “Mexican turnip”), is the edible root of a highly poisonous plant and is commonly used in soups, fruit bars, salads, salsas and other cooked dishes. Street vendors stick a slice on a skewer and you can either crunch on it au natural or dip it into flavored powders.

If your own tongue just ain’t cutting it anymore, Chiapas is your mouth’s chance to get real personal with beef tongue. Rubbing taste buds with a cow may sound almost cannibalistic, but the meat is chewy, with a dense, smooth texture and not half bad. You can find a lickin’ in burritos and tacos, or on its own with a sauce. Try it with saffron sauce (lengua en salsa de azafran) to make you, and your new beefy friend, salivate.

Instead of giving you our gringo taco banter, while in Chiapas, OTP was lucky enough to meet Jesús Catalán, the self-proclaimed Taco King, and he’s here to give you the deep insider view of Mexico’s favorite sandwich. Catalán is legit: Born in Del Valle, the taco epicenter of Mexico City, he has consumed millions of tacos around the world and, after 17 years, still holds the record for eating the most Tacos de Canasta (63 of those bad boys!). So, what makes a good taco? Catalán says it’s all about “tortillas, beans, chile, the fresh ingredients of a salsa” and the essential squeeze of lime. He’s willing to get on an airplane for his Chiapan taco fix: DIY taco joints (puestos) at the shore of Lago Pojol in El Parque Nacional Lagunas de Montebello, “…there you’ll find home-made fresh cheese wrapped in banana leaves, that will be grilled and topped with black beans, fried chorizo and avocado slices. Ask for tortillas and make tacos, those are really authentic.”Catalán swears that, “God is a taquero, life is a puesto, love is the salsa and you are the taco.” To Catalán, tacos are serious eats and he’s ready to wage war on anyone trying to mess with his favorite street eats. In fact, he “…dare[s] all Off Track Planet readers who have a passion for tacos to bring it on and steal [his] crown.” You hear that? BE the taco.

Taco King Tip: “Always look for the crowd, which not only indicates deliciousness and hygiene, but also a good price. Ask for tacos ‘con copia’, which means two tortillas instead of just one per taco. Deep-fried tacos and quesadillas are not only tastier but will fill you up better.”

Tamales

These are not your freezer section logs of awful. Chiapas’ nutty version, called tamales chiapanecos, are a regional creation, filled with pork, raisins, tomatoes, almonds, onions, spicy herbs and come wrapped in banana leaves. The dough contains chipilín, an herb native to Chiapas, that gives these tamales a little extra flair. The juacanes version reminds you of Chiapas’ coastal access by incorporating dried shrimp, along with black beans and pumpkin seeds, into their tamales. Hot off the grill (and not wrapped in plastic), tamales bring the sweet flavor of the southernmost state of Mexico straight into your mouth. Purchase yours from any guy peddling them from his bike.

Cacao was first discovered in the Chiapas region of Mexico and Guatemala 4,000 years ago and was used as currency until its crack-like qualities were revealed. All coffee in Chiapas is organic, shade-grown (which is better for you, the environment and the farmers) and off-the-hook delicious. Cacao is also cultivated to make chocolate and in Chiapas, they like it spicy. Buzz on a cup of coffee from just about anywhere and check out Kakaw, the cacao and chocolate museum, in San Cristobal de Las Casas. Order the sensaciones prehispánica for shots of hot chocolate in achiote, vainilla, amaranto and cacahuate varieties.

Super-agriculturalists since before America was “born”, you best believe the people of Chiapas know their shit when it comes to food. The Taco King will tell you: “In such a diverse country as Mexico, food is perhaps the strongest element that ‘glues’ us all. Old and young, rich and poor, religious or not.” Combine that with the “mi casa es su casa” mentality and you got yourself a street feast worth a trip way south of the border.

Sex in Buenos Aires: Guide to Getting Laid for Girls, Guys and Gays

sarahtg — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 18:31:00 +0000

Buenos Aires is a hotbed of sexual experiences just waiting to be discovered. The romance of Paris mingled with fiery Latin culture guarantees an explosive roller coaster ride in the bedroom (or if you feel like taking the Jesus roller coaster, they’ve got that too). Let OTP supercharge your libido with these tips (and not just the tip) to getting laid in the Paris of the South.

To whet your sexual appetite, make your way to La Boca (Spanish for the mouth), a neighborhood where you can catch street tango performances–perfect for a little pre-bang voyeurism. If you need more titillating tango, put on your fancy pants and visit a milonga (dance salon) to ease into getting friendly with the locals. For some manly action, La Marshall milonga is exclusively gay, so throw a rose in your mouth and an “I mean business” look on your face.

In Da Club

Nightlife in Buenos Aires is renowned worldwide and clubs are a good place to start your search for a horizontal tango partner. Porteños love to party until dawn, so take a siesta before you hit the town. On Thursday nights, Club Niceto transforms into Club 69. Anything that turns into our favorite number is sure to bring the heat – expect things to get sweltering at around 2:30 am, when the performers arrive. For a more casual boliche (nightclub) experience, head to the Roxy where you can rock out to everything from Guns N Roses to the Beach Boys. Most guides ignore the Roxy, so it’s a great place to practice your pick-up lines on the locals. Maintain your stamina after a hard night of dancing in the streets and stumble over to Caix for the after party, where you can hit the floor until Sunday afternoon (9 am to 3 pm.) Gays, shimmy over to Glam, a crowded space that will have you sword fighting in no time. If you need more room to showcase your moves, Amerik is the biggest and wildest gay disco in town.

In Buenos Aires, male machismo is as plentiful as steak. Picking up a hunk of Argentine man meat, means stroking his ego before anything else. Taking girls home is a bit more challenging, since Argentine women are expected to be sweet and virginal. The good news is: according to a recent study by Axe body spray (a very reputable source), Argentine women like sex more than women in any other country. This same survey indicates that chocolate was a close second. What have we learned? Lure that virgin kitty into the bedroom with a Snickers bar and watch her transform into a horny tigress.

Once all that Quilmes secures your beer goggles, you’ll be ready for some sloppy, drunk sex. Argentines are far too classy for rolling around on your hostel bottom bunk, so pay a few pesos for a telo – by-the-hour hotels where politicians regularly commit their carnal sins. Identified by the words “albergue transitorio”, telos are the ultimate no-strings-attached facilitators. Themed rooms like spaceships, Roman ruins, or Egyptian pyramids– in case you want to get on all fours and play the Sphinx- let you act out your fantasies without committing for the entire night. Hotel Pink has rates as low as $70 pesos ($15 USD) for one hour. Need more than 60 minutes? We don’t buy it.

If the only meat you’ve managed to secure in Buenos Aires has grill marks, then head to Plaza de Miserere, or “Prostitution Plaza,” where you can pay to ride like a gaucho. Prostitution is legal in Argentina, so you won’t have to worry about raising bail after splurging on that hot honey. Porteños are welcoming and friendly folks – own your tourist status. Argentines value family so show off pictures of parents and siblings back home to reduce your creep factor.

Play your cards right and you may find it takes three, or more, to tango in Buenos Aires. Just remember not to be a fool and wrap that tool–unless of course you’re ready to start a family, or excited by the idea of STDs. It’s not that hard to get Porteños to spread eagle but it does require a little proper etiquette. Brush off your dancing shoes, dress to impress and start mingling with the hottest Argentine locals in very intimate ways.

OTP’s Guide to Street Food in Paris

biros — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 12:36:45 +0000

If you think Parisians eat expensive shit like snails, frog legs, duck liver and ox tongue on the daily, OTP is about to whip you up a healthy serving of Frenchie food truth. This culinary empire drips down to street level, losing some dollar signs along the way and banging out some of the best street eats in the world. You don’t have to overpay for a tuxedoed waiter to serve you a boner appétit, grab your scarf/beret combo and head outside with OTP for the cheaper side of fine dining in Paris.

Nothing says Paris street food like the crêpe. Sweet or savory – breakfast, lunch, dinner or drunk o’clock – crêpes are thin sheets of anytime lovin’. Crêpe-hawkers are everywhere you look but don’t even think about buying one within eyesight of Notre Dame or the Eiffel Tower; that shit is old and overpriced. Paris’ crêpe capital is Boulevard du Montparnasse. More options than Justin Bieber at a junior high, take a stroll around and watch the masters drizzle their batter before picking one. Make sure a new batch of dough is poured for every order and the ingredients look fresh. Expect the crêpe to be thinner than in the states, because we Americans make our food like we make our people, and this ain’t no pancake. When you’ve found your crêperie, hand over a few euro coins for a crêpe stuffed with Nutella and banana, a combination that’s slowly making peanut butter its bitch. If you’re feeling savory, look for a place dishing out galettes – same as a crêpe, but with a darker, less sweet, buckwheat-based batter. Ingredient options are endless and you can’t go wrong combining mushrooms with several French cheeses for a gooey taste orgy.

Pâtisseries (pastry shops) and boulangeries (bakeries) are on every block and the window displays are like Paris’ Red Light District of food porn. Dry the drool and go in for a viennoise au chocolat, your ticket to tasty town. This soft, delicious, chocolate chip-filled pastry looks (keyword) similar to a Dunkin’ Donuts Long John and tastes like a pillow of chocolate sex exploded in your mouth. Pâtisserie Viennoise whips together the best viennoise in town, and this dive bar equivalent pastry shop is just far enough from the Arc de Triomphe to afford staying cheap. One bite will make your nipples hard. To defrost those bad boys, tack on a cup of their famous hot chocolate.

OTP Tip: Be sure to check hours before trekking to a bakery across town.

Steer clear of the stale pre-made sandwiches outside and cut out the crusty middle man by heading into a boulangeries for a fresh, toasty-warm jambon-beurre. Not your *NSYNC lunch box ham and cheese, in France, white bread is wrong bread, American cheese is for Americans and Oscar Mayer was denied a visa. To get the best sandwich, join the lunch rush line of businessmen at the Le Petit Vendôme takeout window near the Opéra metro stop. Lube up Paris’s finest baguette with butter, your favorite fancy French cheese and slap on a few thin slices of Auvergne cured ham. Order le complet as a short cut to picking through the menu and holding up the rush. At about 6 euros, it’s worth the slight premium.

OTP Tip: Avoid elbow humping the French men at the bar inside and escape a few blocks to the Tuileries Garden to savor this sandwich legend in peace.

Nothing says French food like falafel. A wave of mid-east imports have infiltrated the city and brought their food with them. Sure, you can pick up a falafel sandwich anywhere in the world, but when it comes to food, it’s just somehow done better in Paris. There is no shortage of falafel joints in the old Jewish district of Marais, but the consensus favorite is L’As du Fallafel. Unfortunately, the loaded falafels here are about as well kept of a secret as Ricky Martin’s sexuality and if your patience is as short as his career, ditch the line and grab a comparable falafel from Mi A Mi across the street. Both places have decent carnivorous shawarma options as well. Ditch paying extra to get served in the packed restaurant and maul this foreign flavor feast in the park around the corner.

If there is anything Parisians love more than their food, it’s their wine. No need to hit a costly chic wine bar, you can find a good bottle at any supermarket to join you on your park date with Parisian street eats. The Cru Bourgeois classification is your cheat sheet to fine wine and is printed right on the label, with many great bottles priced well under 10 euros. If you’re no wino, try the local standard beer, Kronenbourg 1664, from Alsace. Or pull a spring break and get the tequila beer, Desperados – France’s correct answer to a Corona and lime.

It’s tough to go wrong with food in Paris (and going right doesn’t mean going broke). One basic rule to always follow: when it comes to choosing a street eatery, look for a long line of Parisians. While street food is usually equivalent to fast food in most places, the concept is lost on the French. They love their grub so much that they’re willing to wait it out for the good shit. Food is a religion here, and to sacrifice quality for time is a sin that will cast you to the depths of cuisine hell or, as they call it, back to America.

Getting Drunk with Locals: 10 Best Local Bars in Madrid

Erin — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 14:34:59 +0000

Rather than downing a pint of beer and getting smashed before the sun goes down, Spaniards take it Barry White slow. Their bull-like stamina comes from lining their stomachs with a tapa before downing a caña (small glass of beer) and heading to the next stop to do it all over again. OTP’s Top 10 Local Bars in Madrid will get you properly shmammered with Spaniards, the kings of bar hop.

Decorated like the pre-party to the Ice Age, El Chapandaz makes barbaric booze sessions totally acceptable. Stalactites, stalagmites and a shit-ton of drunk students all surround streams of milk that fall from the ceiling to form the bar’s signature drink, leche de pantera, which, on top of all that waterfall awesomeness, is served up in generous sizes ranging from liters to buckets.

Forget learning key vocabulary like “dónde está el baño?” (well, don’t forget that, actually), today let’s explore the “chill out” bar. The popular Spanish term can closely be translated as: bar in which you are most likely to get a piece of ass. To experience a chill-out favorite, head to Areia, where all moves have score-potential with the help of seductive lighting, an abundance of pillows and “let’s get it on” music. Its location in gay-friendly Chueca means the possibilities are endless.

Palentino is where locals get their caña on and throw trash on the floor like all good Spaniards. There might not be any fancy décor or hot staff, but you’ll be kickin’ it with the real neighborhood crowd. Shuffle your feet through the olive pits and shrimp skins to get authentically sloshed on the cheap.

OTP Tip: The trashier the bar floor, the more popular the place.

El Viajero – “the traveler” in Spanish – is a beacon of inebriated possibilities in the heart of Madrid’s party-crazed La Latina barrio. The three-story-high bar-meets-restaurant gives you an elevated view of the tapas-crawl going down on the streets below. Warm up your drink machine from its rooftop terraza while you plot out your path to drunken destruction.

Cuevas de Sesamo

Clearly no trip to Madrid is complete without a solid sangria hangover. While the Spanish cocktail might not be as mainstream as foreigners think, when locals actually want to indulge in the most dangerous of sangrias, they head to Cuevas de Sesamo. Don’t let the fruity frou frou nature of the beverage fool you; shit is strong. Hidden on a small street near Puerta del Sol, you’ll likely only be a stumble away from whatever cozy corner you finally curl up in.

The Lavapies neighborhood is all about hitting you with a heavy dose of eclectic beats. Jam to reggae, rock and roll and even flamenco at La Boca del Lobo. Should your moves become messy, grab some Indian food at one of the many nearby dive restaurants and get back into the game. If you plan to sweat, might as well flavor the air with garam masala.

La Realidad

La Realidad is the ultimate hipster hotspot in Madrid’s bohemian Malasaña neighborhood. It’s a café and restaurant by day and a rotating art gallery always and a bar by night. To mix it up, La Realidad serves a little philosophy with your drunk. Micro-poetry, where you buy a drink and be rewarded with a line of poetic thoughts on a coaster, means you can feel creative while getting tossed.

Cervecería Santa Ana

Cervecería Santa Ana is the spot to perfect your handle on classic Spanish traditions: inhaling tapas and downing cañas. With terraza seating in Plaza de Santa Ana, you can even get toasty outside on summer nights. Hold on to your crap, though, because the plaza is infested with pickpockets more broke than – as the Spaniards say – a whore during Lent.

Honky Tonk

Spaniards go all sorts of nuts for this tragically titled joint. Nothing like the American rundown hillbilly establishment, this Honky’s got the drinks, food, and, especially, enough live rock music to get your overalls in a bunch. Madrileños unanimously love this joint. Ya’ll hear that?

Crap-tasticly cheap El Tigre is located near Gran Vía and filled with bizarre taxidermy animal heads. If you can get past your dead grizzly fears, you’ll discover it’s possible to wine and dine on chump change gathered while busking in Plaza Mayor. The food might not be stellar, but with beer cheaper than water, we’re not looking too closely at anything that goes in our mouths.

Forget the museums and the sightseeing – to know Madrid is to get plowed side-by-side with locals in one bar after another. It’s a marathon, not a race, so get in this one for the long haul.

10 Sexiest Germans of All Time

Kyle — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:57:12 +0000

When Germans breed, the results are statuesque specimens who exude a massive amount of sex appeal. Whether you agree or disagree, grab a bubbly brew and enjoy OTP’s Top 10 Sexiest Germans of All Time.

Gay or straight, ask any man which German he’d like to find in his bed, and the likely answer is Heidi Klum. For the straights, she’s a gorgeous German-American model with a bangin’ body. For the gays, she can narrate “Project Runway” and then sing you to sleep with her charming accent. Heidi can thank her husband, Seal, for helping her sing in places besides the shower, and her modeling career was made possible by a friend. After being talked into trying out for “Model 92,” Klum beat out 25,000 other contestants and was offered a $300,000 modeling contract by Metropolitan Models New York. Heidi became a household magazine tear-out after she appeared on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. She’s also been torn out of more Victoria’s Secret catalogs than we care to discuss, adorning the walls of guys’ bathrooms everywhere.

Jürgen Klinsmann is a delicious silver fox. Klinsmann played for a variety of legit soccer teams in Europe during the 80′s and 90′s, and was part of the West German team that won the 1990 FIFA World Cup and the 1996 UEFA European Championship. These days, he bosses around the US Men’s National Team as the coach and who doesn’t love a little taste of German dictatorship from yesteryear? Plus, if Klinsmann is as good in the sack as he was on the field (he was the first player to ever score in three different UEFA European Championships), you would be lucky to run your hands through that salt and pepper hair and across his olympic-sized schwanz.

Our pick for the kiddies (and those into “is that really a dude?” double-take moments), Bill Kaulitz is the lead singer of Tokio Hotel. So hot they made two of him, his identical brother, Tom is also in the band. To set himself apart, Bill goes the eclectic route. A singer, songwriter, designer and model, he is the teeny tiny German equivalent of Lady Gaga and has melted dozens of German teenage panties (so much so, that he was stalked by several chicks in 2008/2009). Kaulitz has modeled for PETA, was the youngest person immortalized in wax at Madame Tussauds in Berlin, and in 2009, was selected by Karl Lagerfeld to be in a photo shoot for Vogue’s 30th birthday.

Claudia Schiffer experienced her own version of “Mean Girls” during high school. She claims that she was popular, but also the target of socially insecure girls who didn’t appreciate her tall, hot ass cruising the halls. She showed them. Schiffer is one of the most successful models in the universe and has appeared on over 500 magazine covers. Hot and smart, Schiffer originally wanted to be a lawyer like her dad but to the penile pleasure of many men, she was spotted in a Dusseldorf nightclub in 1987 by Michel Levaton and signed to Metropolitan Models New York.

With a name like Dirk, you have to wonder what’s beneath those basketball shorts. Okay, he may be on the Neanderthal ugly side but we’re talking sexy here. He’s seven feet tall and if this German maintains a proportionate body, then it’s not just his mobility and size on the court that matter. He’s well-equipped to lead basketball teams to championships, which leads us to believe that his sex appeal is swinging freely all the way to MVP.

Marlene Dietrich

Born in Schöneberg, Germany, she got her start there acting on stage and in silent films. The small town wouldn’t hush her forever, though. Her film, “The Blue Angel,” brought her international fame and earned her a contract with Paramount Pictures in Hollywood. Not just a pretty face (with questionable eyebrows), during her first American film, “Morocco,” she muttered her lines phonetically (she knew very little English) and did a good enough job to earn herself an Oscar nomination.

Driving gloves and a fast car are the hallmark signs of a true stud, and German Formula One driver, Michael Schumacher, leaves skid marks all over that hall. Schumacher is a seven-time World Champion and is widely regarded as one of the greatest F1 drivers of all time. With big wheels and a long shaft, Schumacher began racing at the age of four when his dad doctored up his pedal cart with a small engine. Despite German regulations requiring a driver to be 14 years old before getting a license, Schumacher cruised around it by getting his license in Luxembourg at the age of 12.

Born Frederick Austerlitz, the family changed their name when he and sister, Adele, launched their brother/sister vaudeville act, their mother’s ticket out of Omaha, Nebraska. Astaire’s film career spanned an impressive 76 years and he starred in 31 musical films. Any 80 year-old broad will tell you, Fred’s a ladykiller.

To avoid the risk of pissing off a significant portion of the German population, the Hoff has a solid spot on our list. David Hasselhoff is barely German (his great-grandmother immigrated), but they revere him there for (now pay attention) his singing career. Yep, the Hoff had two #1 hits on the German pop charts in 1989, “Looking for Freedom” and “Crazy for You.” In the US, he’s better known for his roles in Knight Rider, Baywatch and for slobbering all over a hamburger during a taped, drunken rant. Don’t hassle the Hoff!

A hot mix of German and Italian, Janine proves that Hef’s long arm is dead on, even overseas. She has appeared in German Playboy numerous times, landing the German Playmate of the Month spot in 2004, then upping the ante to Playmate of the Year in 2005 and taking it all the way across the pond as America’s Playmate of the Month in 2006. Janine continues to fuel the German sausagefest with her delightful assets daily.

They may be stern and obnoxiously punctual, but these Germans have hot on tap. Even if all the supermodels and the Hoff himself don’t get you going, there is no better place on Earth to put on your beer goggles and find someone list-worthy for yourself.

OTP’s Guide to Partying Your Ass Off with a Hard Drive (in Brooklyn)

Astar — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:27:56 +0000

OTP got its man hands on an ioSafe Rugged Portable Hard Drive. Now this guy makes some tough claims, says he’s “made to withstand the most extreme environments”, can hang out 30 feet underwater for three days, feels no pain when dropped from up to 20 feet and can bear 5,000 pounds of crush. On Monday night, we decided to see if Hardy’s mad cocky shit talking had merit. See if this hard drive can hang with the big boys in OTP’s Guide to Partying Your Ass Off with a Hard Drive (in Brooklyn).

Starting at OTP headquarters, Hardy was loaded up with the best ass pic we could find. We also played a light game of basketball just to get the blood flowing then took him on the town to see if he could keep it together.

There are many great bars around New York City but Hardy needed to get schooled proper. As such, we took him to Canal Bar, a classy establishment named after the Gowanus Canal (aka one of America’s most polluted waterways, a cancer-causing cesspool filled with human remains and generally, a smelly shit swamp). Immediately upon entry, Hardy got a barstool to the head, a beer, a cheap vodka shot and a Peruvian cigarette. After being tongue-raped by the bar dog, covered in popcorn and hanging with some regulars, this hard drive was thoroughly trashed.

It would be unfair for Hardy to make it all the way to New York City and not have a bagel. This one here is sourdough, toasted. We also covered him in gasoline, just in case Hard Drives don’t have stomachs and require alternative fuel.

OTP Tip: Should you ever have the need to cover something in gasoline and then put it between a toasted bagel, consuming the bagel is highly discouraged. Even if it looks really delicious after a few shots.

This part mostly consisted of us kicking him down the sidewalk for five city blocks, a gentle across-the-street toss by a man from Milwaukee and a nightcap at Park Slope’s popular yuppie hang-out, Union Hall. While nothing extreme went down, Hardy looked pretty beaten at this point.

Ashamed of the state he was in, Hardy found refuge back at the Super 8. Several suicide attempts and focused bible study did nothing to make him feel shiny again.

Banged-up, covered in a combo of gas, bagel crumbs and cheap vodka (and well-versed in Matthew 21:22), Hardy found himself face down, spewing megabytes into the shitter at an alarming rate.

When all was said and done, we rolled up our sleeves, put on some gloves and shoved a USB into Hardy’s no-no places to check for a pulse. The ass picture was preserved in all its glory and while Hardy looks like he went through a trash compactor (next time), we must say, this HD is a champ. If he could party with us, we’re pretty sure he’ll withstand whatever torture you throw his way on your trip.

*Photo and HD ass beating credit: Gilad Goren.

Off Track Planet Launch Party Pics

admin — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 21:56:02 +0000

Photos by: Ari Joseph

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9 Unique Places to Celebrate New Year's in 2011
This New Year’s Eve, let go of the tired, old balls in Times Square and grow a new pair. A night notorious for debauchery from Zanzibar to Managua, set your New Year’s sights on these more foreign soirees and start the year the right way: toasted, smiling and perhaps a little naked.

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Top 10 Backpacking Travel Destinations for 2011
A brand spanking new, 100% all organic, freshly squeezed batch of places to ponder with OffTrackPlanet’s Top 10 Backpacking Travel Destinations for 2011. Get ready to rip your backpack to shreds.

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Wed, 15 Dec 2010 00:00:00 PST

What'd You Say About My Hamam? A Guide to the Turkish Bath
Your life is incomplete without a good scrub-down from a hairy towel-laden Turk. As iconic as kebabs and fez hats, Turkey is the capital of aggressive exfoliation, the center for mean clean and if a traditional Turkish bath (known as a hamam) isn’t on your itinerary, you’re doing it all wrong. Here is the step-by-step bath breakdown so you know what to expect.

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Tue, 16 Nov 2010 00:00:00 PST

Running with the Bulls: Preparing for the Ultimate Week of Your Life
Clearly the most famous of Spain’s outrageous celebrations, Los Sanfermines (the Running of the Bulls), is a weeklong alcohol and danger binge intended to honor the patron saint of Pamplona, San Fermín. OTP brings you a crash course on how to enjoy the Running with the Bulls without breaking your balls.

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