Of Narcissists and Mice http://www.lame-duck.com/blog An unbiased view of the world from my point of view Sun, 10 Jan 2010 18:54:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 2006-2007 jomanlk@gmail.com (Of Narcissists and Mice) jomanlk@gmail.com (Of Narcissists and Mice) posts An unbiased view of the world from my point of view Of Narcissists and Mice Of Narcissists and Mice jomanlk@gmail.com No no http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/podpress/images/powered_by_podpress.jpg Of Narcissists and Mice http://www.lame-duck.com/blog 144 144 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/Subscribe with My Yahoo!Subscribe with BloglinesSubscribe with Google Taking a break http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/taking-a-break/ http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/taking-a-break/#comments Sun, 10 Jan 2010 18:46:37 +0000 John http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/?p=94 Although i had intended to keep blogging regularly, it turns out that i will not be starting again till i get back from india. i should be back in february. and yes, this note was written on a phone. hence the bad capitalization. await awesome post soon

]]> http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/taking-a-break/feed/ 2 A Roadmap to My Sixteen Year Old Self http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/a-roadmap-to-my-sixteen-year-old-self/ http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/a-roadmap-to-my-sixteen-year-old-self/#comments Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:12:58 +0000 John http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/?p=87 Year 2000

To Me,

I am you from the future. In the future, people like to write letters to their younger selves. No, I am not joking, people are lame like that now. You have to get tagged to write a letter, but since no one tagged me (probably because I only started blogging 5 minutes ago) I decided to buck the trend and write it anyway. Yes, you become hardcore like that.

Most people decided to write lame letters pleading that their past selves be more cooler, chilled out, smarter, thinner or more sophisticated. Since you’re as good as it gets already (ladies, hint hint) and since none of the other stuff really matter, I decided what you needed was a bit more pocket money. So here we go.

Monarchos is the winner of the 2001 Kentucky derby. And Australia wins the 2003 and 2007 editions of the world cup. I’ve also included a list of winners of significant sporting events at the bottom of the document. Bet all the money you have on the winners. Yes, that includes the money you got for passing your O/Ls. And yes you pass all your exams, stop worrying about it. Also, bet anyone who’d care to listen that the war will be over by 2009 and that a black guy will be the president of the United States. You should get good odds. Now you should have some seed money to throw around. Now we start the real stuff.

Start buying all the gold you can get your hands on. The price of gold is going to go through the roof in ten years. Helped by the fact that some countries decide to keep their reserves in gold.  Don’t worry about the selling, I’ll be doing that. Just raise some money by using it as collateral.

In 2004, you’re going to hear about a company called Google going public. Your main aim will be to collect all the money you can and buy as many shares as you can from the IPO. And sell out by October 2007, that should earn you about five hundred dollars per share.

Next up is real estate. An apartment complex boom is going to hit Colombo soon and it will tank around 2008. Buy as much land as you can around Colombo 4, 5 and 6. So while all the other 16 year olds will be exploring their changing bodies (pubes for guys and boobs for the ladies), you will be buying up key real estate inside city limits. Start selling the properties around early 2008.

By 2008 you’ll notice that you are in fact, me – since unlike most people we are only 9 years apart. What with you taking care of all the real estate and the stocks, and me taking care of the gold, we’ll be sitting on top of a nice pile of money while everyone else will be copulating like rabbits on acid because their present selves don’t get enough action.  Now that we’ve got a substantial amount of money we can,

  1. Buy a Gulf Stream
  2. Get sexy

Now all we have to do is put all that money into low risk bonds and wait till my 35 year old self sends me a letter with the other details.

Dear John Pereira of 16.

You are awesome.

Love, John Pereira 25

P.S. – Don’t worry about losing weight. By 2009, fat people will be ruling the world and Sri Lanka. Most of them are in the Cabinet.

]]> http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/a-roadmap-to-my-sixteen-year-old-self/feed/ 14 It’s ready when it’s ready http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/it%e2%80%99s-ready-when-it%e2%80%99s-ready/ http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/it%e2%80%99s-ready-when-it%e2%80%99s-ready/#comments Mon, 27 Apr 2009 06:25:45 +0000 John http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/?p=71 EDIT : The menu and comments sections are NOT completed.

The more astute of you browsers might have noted the half done look of the site. That’s because it is half done. I haven’t blogged in over 4 months and I thought I might as well get some design work in before I start again.

Ergo, the site is under construction and is immune from criticism. The more foolhardy of you may feel brave enough to browse but do not send me whingey comments about something or other not working or not being readable. Don’t blame me if something falls on you or mice eat your eyes. Shit happens.

If your life is a meaningless husk without my words, go here : http://twitter.com/jomanlk

Danke.

]]> http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/it%e2%80%99s-ready-when-it%e2%80%99s-ready/feed/ 8 Firefighters and Fire at Lucky Plaza http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/firefighters-and-fire-at-lucky-plaza/ http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/firefighters-and-fire-at-lucky-plaza/#comments Thu, 18 Dec 2008 09:18:45 +0000 jomanlk http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/?p=59 First of all,

WELL DONE!!

to the fire fighters. They just walked in there as cool as hell.

Some vids I got from the place. A bit shaky and low quality.

]]> http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/firefighters-and-fire-at-lucky-plaza/feed/ 5 Now that is a lot of sand http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/now-that-is-a-lot-of-sand/ http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/now-that-is-a-lot-of-sand/#comments Mon, 24 Nov 2008 04:35:45 +0000 jomanlk http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/?p=49 Sandman 4 Sandman 3 Sandman 2 Sandman 1 Turtles Albino Turtles
]]> http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/now-that-is-a-lot-of-sand/feed/ 5 Elephant house is too trendy! I’ve given up their drinks. http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/elephant-house-is-too-trendy-ive-given-up-their-drinks/ http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/elephant-house-is-too-trendy-ive-given-up-their-drinks/#comments Mon, 29 Sep 2008 03:24:06 +0000 jomanlk http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/?p=38 After watching The Dark Knight, at Liberty (twice I might mention), I have come to the conclusion that I’m just not trendy enough to drink Elephant House (hereafter referred to as ‘Aliya’) soft drinks. You know what I’m talking about, that ad that shows all those groovy and trendy people dancing and drinking Aliya soft drinks. I’ve seen this ad occasionally on tv but not being much of a tv person I didn’t pay much attention to it. But seeing an advertisement on a 20 foot screen is different. It makes you…..think.

And I thought about it. I’m just not trendy enough. I mean look at the people in the ad! There are bunches and bunches of young people singing and dancing and gyrating and whatnot. Not a non-trendy person in sight. The only overweight person in the ad was Ashanthi and even she was wearing trendy clothes. These people looked like they had been born wearing denims and friendship bracelets. These are the type of people who would be able to pull of a look that you wouldn’t be caught dead in. And come on, how many of you have ACTUALLY danced on top of a fountain while drinking any brand of soft drink? Soft drinks don’t make you dance on top of fountains, a few stiff shots of whiskey do. Trendy drinks for trendy people.

Click to see image in full

The above image clearly shows what I’m talking about. This image was shot unbeknownst to the vendor with my special Canon VB-291 voice bubble capturing camera.

Note – I now have less hair. Also, I do not know why I’m holding the vendors hand. Also, most people call me ‘aiya’ regardless of how old they are. All 3 wheel drivers and shopkeepers call me ‘aiya’.

Ever since that day, and incidentally the day I watched Batman the second time, I decided that I would not go without soft drinks because of my un-trendiness or non-trendiness. I now make my own soft drinks from sachets.

Say NO to TRENDINESSколи под наем

]]> http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/elephant-house-is-too-trendy-ive-given-up-their-drinks/feed/ 11 I’ve launched a new blog :] http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/ive-launched-a-new-blog/ http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/ive-launched-a-new-blog/#comments Thu, 18 Sep 2008 12:59:50 +0000 jomanlk http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/?p=36 Yeah so, here it is : RandomCoding.Com

I haven’t added any content yet. It’s a development blog so most people might not find it useful. Anyhoo, all comments, criticisms are welcome. 

Also, does anyone know how long the inactive period is before kottu kicks you off the list?

]]> http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/ive-launched-a-new-blog/feed/ 2 10 Things You Should Not Be Doing While Drunk Or Drinking http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/10-things-you-should-not-be-doing-while-drunk-or-drinking/ http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/10-things-you-should-not-be-doing-while-drunk-or-drinking/#comments Mon, 14 Jul 2008 03:53:07 +0000 jomanlk http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/?p=32
  • NEVER keep your phone with you. You’ll just regret it. Actually, the Never Keep Your Phone With You rule is actually more of a meta rule. It describes three more mini rules. I’ll get into details on these rules somewhere along the line. Just keep in mind that if you bring your phone with you, there is an INCREASE of 83% of your chance of doing something you regret the next morning.
  • NEVER call or text anyone while you’re drunk. This is a fundamental law of the universe. I can’t believe the amount of people who actually make calls while they are drunk. It just totally cracks me up. Note that the ‘anyone’ mentioned in this rule do not include any of the following,
    1. Taxis or other forms of transport supplying services
    2. Emergency medical services or other life supplying services
    3. Hookers or other satisfaction supplying services
    4. A cool friend of the SAME sex. (Never EVER call a cool friend of the opposite sex. Because the reason that you think that friend is cool is BECAUSE you secretly like him/her/me)

    This is what I mean by ‘don’t text anyone’. Scenario: You hear a joke while your drinking and you think it’s incredibly funny (Most things are funny while your drunk, irrespective of whether it’s a joke or not. Drunk people can laugh along to a weather report on a tropical cyclone. Back to the scenario..), so you text someone the punch line ONLY (You send only the punch line because you’re too far gone to type anything on that tiny keypad. The more drunk you are, the tinier the keypad). Anyway, your friend suddenly gets a message saying, ‘PANTS!’ or ‘HOTEL CALIFORNIA!!’ or something like that because that’s the current joke or song or whatever. Do yourself a favour and cut off your thumbs. It’s less trouble in the long run.

  • NEVER pull out your phone while you’re drunk or drinking. If you must bring your phone with you, do everyone a favour and keep it inside a pocket. Preferably one with a breath analyzer that won’t open until you’re sober. Having your phone in your hand is a recipe for disaster. Scenario: After an otherwise uneventful trip to Sigiriya I noticed that I had completely replaced my browser software on the phone with REALLY old software. Also I’ve now forgotten my PIN.
  • NEVER give your phone to a friend. A drunk friend will ALWAYS do one of the following with a foreign (not his)  phone,
    1. Drop it
    2. Dial an IDD call (If you have IDD enabled on your phone and you give it to a drunk friend, then you’re lucky to have lived so long)
    3. Look through messages or past call records and dial the most frequently used numbers.
    4. Drop it.
    5. Call a hooker
  • NEVER EVER take up a dare. Scenario: Friend says, ‘Why don’t you climb this 10 foot ladder like structure and jump down from the top?’, if you ask yourself ‘why not?’ then you have no right to be drinking. Or walking around without an attendant. What you should be asking yourself is ‘Why doesn’t he/she so that?’. Also don’t drink at anyplace that has large bodies of water or easily climbable trees/structures, you’ll thank yourself later in your old age when you DO have an old age.
  • NEVER make passes at women. I didn’t include ‘Don’t make passes at men’ for the simple reason that men like women making passes at them. Drunk or otherwise. We aren’t finicky. When you are drunk, you are
    1. NOT as funny as you think
    2. NOT as smooth as you think
    3. NOT as smart as you think
    4. NOT as desirable as you think

    • That pretty much covers it right?

  • NEVER sing alone. By all means sing along to the band or to the crowd, but never sing alone. There is no way anyone is going to hear your terribly pitched, horribly rendered, word swapped (going ‘na nuh na naa’ when you don’t know the words) version of ‘Sweet Child of Mine’ (hint hint dude ;) ) when the band is playing, so that’s your chance to go at it. Unleash the inner rock star. But NEVER EVER alone. You’ll just make an ass of yourself.
  • NEVER talk. Seriously. Don’t talk and you can’t get yourself into any regrettable situations. Also don’t do stuff like slapping yourself in the face to show that you have perfect hand eye coordination. Slapping yourself in the face or walking into walls are a sure indication of being piss drunk.
  • NEVER EVER EVER take your credit card with you. Unless it’s already overlimit. Take whatever amount of cash you think you will need to cover the expenses. Taking your credit card to a drinking session is like having your own personal banker who is ever so helpful to pay the bill when it comes but will kick you in the nuts the next day when you get your credit card bill. It’s easier to just wash dishes or something like that rather than paying the bill. Also, since you’re drunk you won’t even remember it. Remember, your credit card is NOT your bitch.
  • NEVER DRIVE!
  • NEVER make lists of what NOT to do for some hypothetical situation since you can’t count or put together coherent sentences in the first place. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!
    • ]]>     http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/10-things-you-should-not-be-doing-while-drunk-or-drinking/feed/ 16     Back to normal broadcasting http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/back-to-normal-broadcasting/ http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/back-to-normal-broadcasting/#comments Mon, 07 Jul 2008 11:32:06 +0000 John http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/?p=29 My life has settled down. After my promotion, I no longer do three different jobs at work. Which means I can pretty much focus on my own work as well now. The upkeep and maintenance of this site being one of them :]

    So, before regular broadcasts begin I bring you a teaser trailer in the form of a picture I took at Sigiria (went there on an office trip recently)

    The North Star in My Pants.

    Thanks to Juggy for inspiring it.

    More pics and amusing commentary soon…..

    ]]>     http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/back-to-normal-broadcasting/feed/ 1     Spread FireFox! And set a world record! http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/spread-firefox-and-set-a-world-record/ http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/spread-firefox-and-set-a-world-record/#comments Fri, 30 May 2008 02:45:59 +0000 jomanlk http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/?p=28 Just a little post asking all you surfers and bloggers to spread FireFox!

    Sounds like a good deal, right? All you have to do is get Firefox 3 during Download Day to help set the record for most software downloads in 24 hours – it’s that easy. We’re not asking you to swallow a sword or to balance 30 spoons on your face, although that would be kind of awesome.

    By the way, the official date for the launch of Firefox 3 will be posted here soon – so check back! Join our community and this effort by pledging today.

    From : http://www.spreadfirefox.com/en-US/worldrecord/

    Download Day

    компютри

    ]]>     http://www.lame-duck.com/blog/spread-firefox-and-set-a-world-record/feed/ 2