OIM: OMG!

Sometimes It’s All You Have Left

oim — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 22:40:57 +0000

Flustered, red-faced, sweating young father to wailing, inconsolable infant: FUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOU!

Minneapolis, Central Library Lot
Overheard by TwinCitizen.

Support The Greenway!

oim — Sun, 08 May 2011 20:22:02 +0000

20-something woman, to boyfriend walking alongside: It’s like, look, I live at my house, and you live at your house, and sometimes we meet halfway in between and fuck. You get it?

Minneapolis, Midtown Greenway
Overheard by Hoping “halfway in between” is an enclosed space of some sort.

I Would Cut Off A Leg If I Thought It Would Help

oim — Mon, 02 May 2011 22:42:55 +0000

20 something man: I felt bad for that 3-legged dog until I saw his dick is bigger than his nub.

Minneapolis, Psycho Suzi’s Patio
Overheard by NordeastLove.

You Had Me At Pizza

oim — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 22:42:33 +0000

Older man reminiscing with friend: Yea, man, I used to live in this neighborhood 30 years ago. Seen a lot of shows at the Cabooze. Intermission I used to say ‘Let’s go home, get a pizza, and fuck.’ That line worked, too. Nobody believed it did, but it did.

Minneapolis, Seward neighborhood
Overheard by I’m gonna have to try that one.

Wallpaper Makes Me Wild

oim — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 22:25:06 +0000

Girl #1: Wait… did Tuttles get a makeover?
Girl #2: Yeah! I kinda want to go inside.
Girl #1: Maybe I’ll start bowling there.
Girl #3: Makes me want to fuck in their bathrooms.

Hopkins, Shady Oak Road
Overheard by Passer Byer.

So I Put It In My Contract

oim — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 23:03:38 +0000

Woman to coworker: If it’s not 18 inches it just doesn’t feel right.

Minneapolis, Wells Fargo Home Mortgage office elevator
Overheard by wanting to meet some of YOUR friends.

He Just Wants To Know How To Access It

oim — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 03:41:38 +0000

Man peeing in urinal: I have an extra three inches of dick behind my balls. (Silence from the crowded restroom) Scientifically it’s true. That’s what they say. (Longer silence. Man angrily flushes the urinal and leaves.)

Roseville, AMC Theater
Overheard by Next in line.

You’re Going To Be Really Good At This

oim — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 02:50:13 +0000

Drunk Guy: Honestly, though, is the baby really my responsibility if I don’t remember cumming?

Minneapolis, 4th St, Dinkytown
Overheard by ItSureIs.

Watching Young Love Blossom

oim — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 01:34:42 +0000

20-something male: His dick bigger than mine, but when they hard they the same size.
20-something female: How do you know?
20-something male: Because we jerk off together.
20-something female: Really? Do guys do that?
20-something male: Yeah, I jerked off next to, let’s see, James, Chris, Kevin…
20-something female: Kevin’s dick quivers when he comes.
(a few minutes later)
20-something male: See, that’s what I like about you. The other girls I fuck around with, they only care who got the weed, who can drive. You different. You’re in it for me.

Minneapolis, #2 Bus
Overheard by Bland Social Life.

I’m Holding Auditions

oim — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 01:56:02 +0000

Stranger to couple: Does he lick cocaine off your labia?

Minneapolis, 331 Club
Overheard by aeh.