OIM: OMG!

He Just Wants To Know How To Access It

oim — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 03:41:38 +0000

Man peeing in urinal: I have an extra three inches of dick behind my balls. (Silence from the crowded restroom) Scientifically it’s true. That’s what they say. (Longer silence. Man angrily flushes the urinal and leaves.)

Roseville, AMC Theater
Overheard by Next in line.

You’re Going To Be Really Good At This

oim — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 02:50:13 +0000

Drunk Guy: Honestly, though, is the baby really my responsibility if I don’t remember cumming?

Minneapolis, 4th St, Dinkytown
Overheard by ItSureIs.

Watching Young Love Blossom

oim — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 01:34:42 +0000

20-something male: His dick bigger than mine, but when they hard they the same size.
20-something female: How do you know?
20-something male: Because we jerk off together.
20-something female: Really? Do guys do that?
20-something male: Yeah, I jerked off next to, let’s see, James, Chris, Kevin…
20-something female: Kevin’s dick quivers when he comes.
(a few minutes later)
20-something male: See, that’s what I like about you. The other girls I fuck around with, they only care who got the weed, who can drive. You different. You’re in it for me.

Minneapolis, #2 Bus
Overheard by Bland Social Life.

I’m Holding Auditions

oim — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 01:56:02 +0000

Stranger to couple: Does he lick cocaine off your labia?

Minneapolis, 331 Club
Overheard by aeh.

But No Cleanup

oim — Thu, 13 May 2010 21:58:53 +0000

Girl sitting behind me, when the hot dog vendor set down his carrier: I’m getting a facial from this wiener steam!

Minneapolis, May 6 Twins Game, Target Field
Overheard by Luke D.

That Was The Last Time I Went To A Strip Club

oim — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 21:34:03 +0000

Man with facial hair to friend: Then I got jizz in my goatee.

Bloomington, Twin City Grill
Overheard by Kirsten.

Didn’t You Get The Memo?

oim — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 23:44:20 +0000

Guy: Why he call you so early? Tell him to call you at breakfast time or lunch time. He called you at fucking time!
Girl: What, 8:42 is fucking time?
Guy: Yeah!

Minneapolis, #10 Bus
Overheard by QuoteRadar.

That’s So Much More Fun

oim — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 23:14:46 +0000

Drunk girl to drunk male friend: Hey man, I know she was giving you a handjob in the last bar, but seriously, let’s just go drink!

St. Paul, Shamrocks

Put That Review On Urbanspoon

oim — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 03:10:04 +0000

Guy eating gyro: Man, this shit is good. Pussy is better though.

Minneapolis, riding the 2
Overheard by The Gyro Did Look Good.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Hookers And Blow

oim — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 00:30:34 +0000

Dude: I’m nothing but class. I’m the Dean Martin of trading drugs for pussy.

Minneapolis, bar on 7 Corners
Overheard by My BlackBerry wants no part of your Rat Pack.