old hack has issues...

ohhi twine

oldhacks@gmail.com — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 10:39:10 PDT

these dead neurons
this hopeless tissue
this never ending darkness
roaming blindly
from street corner to street corner
never noticing anything
everything invisible
then within an instant
like a trickle of sunlight
a decorated presence
skipping to my door step
a gift
something absolutely true
a confirmation
reason
to know all
but to care for nothing
the curse of intelligence
to always be looking down
with a certain magic
some Luck
hope for the hopeless
some change in a jar

ohhi tiny pieces

oldhacks@gmail.com — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 10:23:03 PDT

so many ways
so many ways
so many excuses
like an uncapturable light
a moment of rescue
a tiny sense of relief
all hell surrounding us
with peace in our foxhole
run away with me
run away with me forever
into shallow unmarked graves
into mystery
into nowhere
into nothing
I failed you
in so many ways
so many ways.

ohhi last wishes

oldhacks@gmail.com — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 20:06:09 PDT

poerty is for the weak.
the broken hearted
the low spirit.
the beaten down
the losers
the ones that never get anywhere
but still fight
they want to hear the words.
from someone elses lips
that Life SUCKS
but that it's Worth it
it's worth it to fight
to claw
to chew and destroy
it's all worth it
cause what else is there
but to die
wishing you there.

ohhi go kill yourself

oldhacks@gmail.com — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 00:11:47 PDT

THEY SAID IT CAN'T BE DONE!
IT'S ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE!
BUT THEN COMES THE SPERM
SURROUNDING THOSE HELPLESS EGGS
AND LIKE CANCER CELLS THEY GROW
AND NOW THEY'RE HERE
READY FOR THE KILL
TAKING THE WORLD BY STORM
LANGOLIERS!
LANGOLIERS!
EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM
CHEWING UP EVERY BIT OF BULLSHIT
STOMPING ON THEIR GRAVES
SLICE A THROAT FOR ME WILL YA
THEY DESERVE KILLIN
YOU CAN'T EAT EM
BUT WHAT THE HELL
THEY'RE GETTING IN THE WAY OF THINGS
RAPE THE UNRAPEABLE
MUTILATE AND SHRED
CHEW UP AND GARBLE
SPIT OUT WHATS LEFT
AND CALL IT A DAY

ohhi a deadly sound

oldhacks@gmail.com — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 10:42:37 PDT

I die and I die and I die

every day we die
the moon as our tombstone
the ocean bleeds
and the sky breathes
the animals walk in it
the world dominates
penetrates
expands
and degenerates
just a glimpse
a glimpse of the other side
pure sugar
the butterfly stretching its wings
birds and monkeys
helpless
dominated
surrounded by death
how terrifying this world must be
how nightmarish.
we push play
their eyes widen in fear
nothing can stop the sound
nothing can prevent the flood
the ocean bleeds
the volcanoes flex
comets and stars
asteroids and sun beams
We ARE we are
the reality in language.
the reality in sound
feeling our way through
scream
scream
loud enough to frighten a crowd
it's too late now
this gluttonous cancer
we live to die
we live to kill
we feed on our victims
and we flush ourselves into the sea
the ocean bleeds shit
it tastes us
walking on it's back
it prays for an asteroid
the only thing that can stop it
is total death
total fucking death

HERE I AM

oldhacks@gmail.com — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 21:03:06 PDT

-> new station http://oldhack.tumblr.com

http://youtube.com/oldhacks

http://twitter.com/old_hack

http://facebook.com/oldhacks

follow me I'll follow you back

ohhi dear Courtney Love #99

oldhacks@gmail.com — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 01:15:29 PDT

yea, so what's the point anymore
I could write a thousand poems
Courtney you just are poetry
so I steal from your muse
I nip and bite
I hymn I hum
I bite my tongue
all the treachery
all the unwillingness
all the hatred
all for nothing
all so you can be a poem
not enough time
we all die young
when we're all young at heart

ohhi dear Courtney Love 98

oldhacks@gmail.com — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 09:01:28 PDT

oh fuck, I'm in love
you look and you look and you look
and people look back
and nothing's ever right
and it's lonely
and boring
and then like a wrecking ball
you find a perfect fit
and suddenly everything makes sense
a snowflake in a volcano
salvation
it doesn't even matter if it works out
because it happens
and you witness it like a UFO
unexplainable
uncapturable
suddenly everything is in tune
like a drug that never quits
we blame ourselves forever
we dress ourselves in our well defined shame
our over examined egos
our trampled souls
then the sun trickles in
and the warmth from a million miles away
caresses us in our evil
washes away the darkness
encompasses our spirit
making plants stretch
and roosters crow
dogs ears perk
and trees whisper
spinning illustriously
as if perfect

what a waste
to have found it now
after having been searching forever
and to be down to shreds
what a waste
to see a future
to have it dangled in my face
as if it were there the entire time
waiting for the perfect moment
to taunt my fading extacy

but better to have seen it
the glory of the light
then to live on without knowing
to live in nothing but darkness
to never hear the sounds
of ancient wisdom
what has carried us this far
here all along.

ohhi dear Courtney Love 97

oldhacks@gmail.com — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 11:02:52 PDT

"hey Kurt. Hi Kurt."
some little girl heckled from behind.
I'm a relic
I crossed paths with Jack ennino
at a cross walk
he gave me a look
a sort of proud look
seeing a survivor, I guess.

he was balding like a vulture
but he still had that smug shit eating grin on his face
I looked at him like I knew him
I felt embarrassed for looking the way I did
flannel t-shirt
bleached out hair

trying to be myself
while facing extradition

the kids that were born while we were out fucking
they're ten times as strong
and they're ready for war
our only job now is to show them how

ohhi dear Courtney Love 96

oldhacks@gmail.com — Fri, 13 May 2011 10:40:45 PDT

so vain this world
that I stay in my room and write
with just enough hope
to get hurt again
that someone would love me
someone uglier than me
the ugliness of the world
printed on our faces
it's reflection
in our drooping eyes
sour lips
and biting tongues
the bitterness shining through
with hope tucked away
hidden deeply in the iris
not letting anyone through
not letting anyone know
of what's left

now that the parade has vanished
now that the sounds and the joy has evaporated
into ancient history
we were all one
now we're nowhere to be found
shattered into a million tiny pieces
indistinguishable
unfamiliar
unremarkable
unfathomable
to think that we were kings
in this dirty jacket
in these worn out clothes
stood a piece of the puzzle
the mob in full force
forcing the direction of the tide
taking hold of all that was sacred
standing on mountain tops
claiming all the worlds treasures
and then,
from concrete to sand
from tall structures to foot prints
hieroglyphics
mispronounced and misinterpreted
nothing of what it was
everything must begin anew
to everything an ending
to everything remorse
to everything, shattered mirrors and burnt out candles
to everything no more

ohhi Courtney Love 95

oldhacks@gmail.com — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 19:56:12 PDT

what can we do Courtney?
What can we do?
no matter what
"something good will come from this"
Yea? What? and When?
I've been standing here
for what seems like ages
waiting for the leaf to turn
to see the colors change
eat my cancer
We turned black
we're the ones draped in darkness
he escaped
his nonexistent memory only saw flowers in bloom
only saw the best in us all
was it betrayal
or was it destiny
was it anything at all?
has it dwindled?
so far, all the way down
into some miserable poet
from no where
with nothing to say
nothing that hasn't been heard before
he knew with every glance
with every breath
time was short
terminally mentally ill
a ticking time bomb
he was always in control
no one can take that from him
we can scream and spit on his grave
he's impervious.

like it were yesterday
like it were yesterday

ohhi dear courtney love 94

oldhacks@gmail.com — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 09:21:04 PDT

it's all over now.
time to go home.
the lights are on.
he gave us his all and then said good night.
it just isn't any fun anymore.
any of it.
to take things so seriously.
we laugh now, just to ease the pain.
we lost the war.
it was just another trend.
it started dying from the word go.
and now the vultures are having an eating contest.
they chew on our remains.
the ones left standing.
to watch it all disappear.
oh how we hold on.
how we never forget.
vanquished by time.
the irrelevance in the eyes of eternity.
and nothing has happened since.
nothing that was worth noticing.
the billionaires and their toys.
dangling shiny objects in front of the docile crowd.
hypnotized by ignorance.
let them bleed
let them starve
no one taught us how to fight.
and we melted the entire system.
but now they all want it for free.
so the game is finished.
the only ones that make it to the top
are the ones who are placed there.
a million nine elevens
a million suicide cults
spitting in jesus' face.
while jumping head first into failure
never allowed to love
never allowed to be in the moment
fixated on the idea
that nothing lasts forever

ohhi dear courtney love 93

oldhacks@gmail.com — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 12:28:11 PST

she was somebody desperately seeking someone to love
and he was someone desperately needing to be loved

ohhi dear courtney love 92

oldhacks@gmail.com — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 08:45:56 PST

he walks the streets
looking for something to eat
just like the pigeon
only it's worse for him
because he Knows he's not a pigeon.
He's a man.
with the same thoughts
the same adversity
the same pupils and brain stem
as the president of the United States
we all clinch our fists
we all want more
the bum wants just enough
he's willing to share
maybe that's how he ended up on the streets
he gave it all away
there's always plenty of takers
the moment you have something to give
and so we live for the take
we live for the snatch and grab
the tug and pull
winner take all
he who dies with the most toys wins
but he still dies
just like that poor bum on the street
his arteries will clog
and he'll collapse
they'll do an autopsy
try to place a name on his toe tag
if not just make one up
born to rot
born to steal and beg
until the last drop
this concentrated Earth
these plundered valleys
these wretched animals
chewing and clawing
into the everlasting
into the apocalypse
dogs chasing invisible flies
but we know we're not dogs
so we chew and claw with remorse
we sin in our every action
we question and doubt existence itself
the universe only goes as far as you can see
beyond that is just a chasm of meaninglessness

how good is the wine
the cigarettes all taste the same

ohhi dear courtney love 91

oldhacks@gmail.com — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 12:36:08 PST

so they told you you could be somebody
some pathetic fool (slacker)
you could blow off your head
and people think it's cool (kurt cobain)

is that all it's about?
is that all it's about?

so you can waste away
in someone elses grave(has been)
or you can celebrate
whatever takes it's place(the new trend)

is that all it's about?

snake

breaking through the silence
a spearhead full of lies
from a desert island
into an empty sky

filthy remains
this empty shell
a sacrifice
to lift the curse
turn the tide

ohhi dear courtney love 90

oldhacks@gmail.com — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 18:22:35 PST

he lived a million miles an hour
everywhere at once
just put me in the wheel chair
and get me to the show
hurry hurry hurry
before I have to go
we all die
it's a song we all can sing
it's not a question of how
but when
and/or for why
if you so choose
Basquiat died in a hurry
Hendrix came and went
we walk on their graves
we spit and we stumble
we mummer curses into the wind
we wait and we wait and we wait
for things to get better
for things to Be better
what exchange?
what questions
that's why every word was perfect
because it was soaked in Destiny
it fumed out from its own glory
it passed through like a wild fire
it ate up the entire world
if just for a moment
it's just as great as the pyramids
that video shrine
it's as important as anything that ever came before
history in the making
the story billowing out
how we all wish for such things
how we all want and struggle for
the shapes in the clouds
an angel with no wings
a rotting corpse
in an unmarked grave

ohhi dear courtney love 89

oldhacks@gmail.com — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 10:25:35 PST

these last moments
these desperate attempts
clinging to love
shrouded in darkness
to smile
to breathe
to spin in the air
but then like all things
to die
the first crack in the painting
the first chip in the sculpture
let things be still
as the earth shakes
and hell rises
swallowing us up
into little bitty pieces
and then shitting us out
all in one fell swoop
killing everything
for everything must die
we live and we die
from the leaf to the atom
when you split the atom
you get a raging mushroom of death
down to the last drop
the very last sensation
black and white
blind witnesses
every one of us
every last stinking one of us
watch him dance
and laugh at us all
as we whither away
watch him mock us and blow kisses
waving us in
giving us bread
waving our debts
total annihilation
that's what we were bred for
raise the flower
to see it's color
survive the winter
to shine anew

ohhi dear courtney love 88

oldhacks@gmail.com — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 12:09:53 PST

it's lonely at the top
it's even lonelier at the bottom
but yea I get it
surrounded by yes men
liars and pick pockets
fair weather friends
leaches upon leaches
so why not jump off that cliff
why not burrow yourself in a cloud of smoke
why not dive off that cliff
that cliff they build for us run aways
that cliff they build and call "success"
once your famous it's finished
you can recreate your image
but time never ceases
they all come running
like cows coming home
the corporate sheep herders
hurrying them along
laughing their way to the bank
and people sit at home
thinking it's all real.
that's what puzzles me the most
like, you know.
and I know.
but all these people...
they buy the tickets
they wait in line for autographs
they brag about some small fact they know
they hang pictures on their walls
setting the trap in their mind
that trap that tells them they're not free
that they need "success"
that they need to Be that poster on the wall
those sounds
that loud guitar
it's so silent now
they beat on it
they stroke it
they airbrush it
they study it
and emulate it
but that sound
that crushing sound
that used to scream through out the hills
a Roaring "FUCK You WORLD"
it's so quiet.
no one will ever rule the world again miss love
not like you did.
the crown has been destroyed.

ohhi dear courtney love 87

oldhacks@gmail.com — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 09:52:23 PST

if I could have a day.
just one day of what you have
even just to witness
like a dog with his head hangin out the car door window
to fly
to see it all
to have servers
and handlers
exterior arms and minds
helping me live my life
oh the narcissist in me would be very happy
like a kid in an arcade with endless plays
like a girl at the pool where the sun never sets
you know how lucky you are
you know it was all chance
and you've tasted the dirt in the streets
so these cheeses and these wines
your taste buds refined
by struggle
the day in day out
the reaching for the stars
the waking up in dirt
to sleep in roses
take the drugs if you need them
take the drugs and drink the wine
run away and watch it crumble in the distance
watch it crash into the ocean
ingest cocaine
soak in opiates
let it be a dream
where they kill
we die
where they eat
we starve
and as you share tables
with evil incarnate
you do it with such virtuosity
with such clear conviction
no one mistakes your crown
they all have something to say
and even more on their minds
oh how they despise you
Go Back to the Streets!
I say the same
though to take their treats
and accept their recognition
I would offer my blood just the same.

ohhi dear courtney love 86

oldhacks@gmail.com — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 10:47:41 PST

I watched age crawl up my arm
I said please not my face
and I woke up
with it having seeped out from under my eyes
sewing itself into my skin
no solution
no remedy
time is merciless
first there was art
capturing perfect beauty
then it was the radio
echoing the worlds sweetest sounds
then came motion pictures
and we watched our fantasies implode
a million images
a million perfect lies
aggrandizing and memorizing
for the meek to worship
for the meek to reflect upon
for the meek to admire and adore
to idolize and to cherish
to follow through
over and under
until the glass is cracked
and they finally see
that art
and the poetry
and death
are most sweet

ohhi dear courtney love 85

oldhacks@gmail.com — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 11:11:56 PST

it's so easy to write these words
all I need is a picture
and the words flow like wine
your tender smile
your meekness
your battles won
along with your crosses to bare
I'm like a pigeon
gobbling up bread in the parking lot
it's that easy
just one look
into those soft desperate eyes
and it all becomes obvious
there's so much poetry there
that the words write themselves
all you've ever needed was an observer
someone who could see the constellation
the connection between your spirit
and the history of the stars
from the very tip
to the meatiest rib
from the morning sun
to your darkest day
no one else could have been strong enough
no one was
and no one ever will be again
there's no chance for any of these things to change
to go back in time
to re-write the passages of yesteryear's crimes
so we look on to today
we stare it right in the face
and we ask for it to be peaceful
for it to be calm
for just a moment
just long enough for us to catch our breaths
and so these poems.
they're not for you.
they're not for me.
they just are
because they deserve to be.
these words.
your life.
as nothing has ever been planned
nor were these words

ohhi dear courtney love 84

oldhacks@gmail.com — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 11:01:26 PST

to the most carnivorous bitch that ever lived
the most blood thirsty
villainous
sanctimonious
manipulative
Cunt
all my kindest words
mieux gentil
as always
to the most abused
hated
despised creature
they see you as poison
a certain blood type
that should not exist
that lost flower
that crushed rose
that weed growing in the pavement
our living breathing imperfections
her high heels
her fake smile
her fragile exterior
like the preying mantis
drawing in her prey
then latching on
till death
and departed
I have nothing but kindness
for this rotten butterfly
yes she is evil
but it is pure
there is honesty in her intent
a yearning that won't cease
to steal
take
and borrow
to swallow and ravish
to stone to death
to burn at the stake
to drowned in the lake
to hunt and destroy
to obliterate from the earth
and never leave one hint of a trace
for rediscovery
how they would all seek to undo you
to dispose of your shrine
to devalue your conquests
to demoralize and humiliate
into wreckage
but they can't even begin to put together the simplest words
they don't have the slightest clue
they can't even begin to explain
because what they hate in you
is what they hate of themselves
oh to the queen of sin
the queen of debauchery and ruin
the most wasted of all tales
nothing comes close to the fragrance of your delight

ohhi dear courtney love 83

oldhacks@gmail.com — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 10:15:54 PST

all the music
the art
the wars
it's all been for nothing
the stars
the sun
the moon
it's like they don't even need to exist
this perpetual black empty space
growing further into nothingness
a pounding on the ceiling
the train across the street
it's all been for nothing
we keep eating and fucking
we keep draining every ounce of purity we can find
until we're down to the core
and it displays itself rotten
the death of fruits
the waste of greenery
a toxic waste dump
swimming with people
stirring this empty glass
these moments they last forever
these words are omnipotent
because nothing stands before time
nothing but fossils and fertilizer
dried up on the vine
awaiting angry gods
this contemptuous fortitude
this big black empty space
we run in the streets
we parade
we riot
we cheer
and we grieve
over and over
the same way every time
with the blindness of a snail
the wit of a cockroach
the integrity of a black widow
what will we do with tomorrow
will we watch it bleed and turn to rot
just as we always have
More babies
give them more Eyes
so they can bare witness to the devastation
the self sacrifice
for the angry gods
plucking the apple from the tree
only to watch it rot.

ohhi dear courtney love 82

oldhacks@gmail.com — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 09:40:32 PST

and so I survive
I survive to taste the bread and drink the wine
to feel the sun soak into my skin
like the ants and the flies
like my cat in the window
like my neighbors next door
and across the street
we've all survived another day
I tell myself there's a reason
that there must be some great cause
that gives this time merit
that makes these breaths worthwhile
like a god
a dogmatic principle
there must be a reason
there must be some great answer to my calling out
but this world is silent like the trees
the wind blows and you can hear it's friction
the balance within violence
the big bang in a trickle on the street
a Million big bangs
all for no reason
no reason at all
so you can beg and scream and plead
you can go crazy arguing with the sun
but none of it will ever respond
we respond
we react
we split the atom and put telescopes over ant hills
we cause all these things
we cause all these things
we make it all up, as we go along
so to the paparazi
keep flashing those cameras
keep scribbling those pens
keep printing those ads
somebodies bound to catch on sooner or later

ohhi dear courtney love 81

oldhacks@gmail.com — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 11:31:52 PST

all the best poems never reach the page
I come up with them while I'm drunk
sitting outside staring at the moon
taking long drags off of cigarettes
there I can find the time
the space
the room
to think of what I really want to say
the words that aren't just contrived
over conceptualized
rhetorical
nonsense

the kind that really lets you know that I know whats up
that I'm not just some scab pulling a fast one
another leach looking to use you as a way in
what doors could you open for me anyways
every door you walk through gets slammed shut and sealed and barricaded

but alas none of those words even get passed my lips
they just rest there in that moment when I created them
those perfect words that forge the boundaries between us
the haves and the wants
fools gold
it's a mirage
I can see that
rainbows never touch the ground
the magic elixir
the cure all to all of our problems
you Made it
you took the world by storm
and they nipped at your heels all the way there
oh to be famous
to be admired
to be imaginary
to be perfect in the minds of others
in all directions
to be fought over
to be cared for
but still all the love in the world isn't enough for you
no one can touch your beauty
cause your beauty is in the street
and none of those clean garb wearing holier then thou types
those up on the hill
they ain't never been to skid row baby
they drove right by it
every time
while we bathed in it
relished even
those were our proudest moments
the little things
back when things mattered
when we were young and daring
when we had ideas and missions to accomplish
when we all walked with a vigorous stride
one by one
to the top of the moutain
waving our banners
singing our songs
hoisting those whom we saw fit to the top of the heap
and applauding whatever great speeches of victory
they had prepared to deliver us
oh how it was all so sweet
to rub the shit in their faces
and so while I watch from a curious distance
as you mingle with the stable crowd
how it is you don't constantly catch your own vomit
listening to the sounds of their voices
the nonsensical vindications of the next installment of egotism
we all look in the mirror
but only a very few like what they see
we can all do better
Be better
and so that's why we fight
fighting with ourselves
on the backs of others.