THEOFFICIALOLDSERBCLUB

2008-02-16T11:53:00.006+01:00

A Large Majority of the OldSerbClub says:
"I only smoke Lucky Serbs"

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Ivor Petreç was president of The OldSerb Tobacco Company from 1925 until his death in 1946. The 1940's most successful advertising slogan, "Lucky Serb Green Has Gone to War!" was conceived by Mr. Petreç while hunting boar with a spoon in the centre of Belgrade.
Several days earlier Dragan Bogan, head of purchasing for OST Co, had informed Petreç that there was only a three months' supply of green ink available for printing Lucky Serb labels. Chromium, an element which is essential to solid green ink, was a war material in short supply. Bogan told Petreç "Just like the OldSerbClub, green ink has gone to war."
Ivor Petreç knew that the green Lucky Serb package didn't appeal to oldserb women, but he needed a reason to change colors. When Petreç found out that there was a shortage of merchant ships able to carry war supplies to Croatia and Albania, and that older wood hulled ships were being pressed into service, he had his reason.
Copper paint was used to protect the wooden hulls from marine worm damage, and Petreç had just learned that copper was an ingredient in the ink needed for the gold bands on the Lucky Serb label.

Eureka!

Ivor's new "Lucky Serb Green Has Gone to War!"; advertising campaign touted the fact that enough bronze (copper and tin alloy) was saved each year to meet the requirements for 400 light tanks.

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Pic originally uploaded by Uncleserb on 01/27/2006

2008-02-16T11:48:00.002+01:00

Pablo 'OldSerb' Escobar

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In Memoriam Pablo 'OldSerb' Escobar

“Comment ai-je commencé?
J'étais jeune, j’avais envie de vivre et j’avais des restes de goulash. Je ne connaissais rien des affaires du narco-trafic des vieux serbes. C’est alors que j’ai rencontré un jeune gringo à barbe dans une discothèque de Belgrade…
Le gringo, Sadhu, avait un avion EasySerb à sa disposition. Il voulait acheter de la cocaïne dans le pays.
Plus tard, j’ai pris ma décision.
Je l’ai mis en contact avec des gens spécialisés. Dés lors, je me suis trouvé embarqué dans cette filière, où j’ai fait entrer de nombreux amis vieux serbes.
Nous avons commencé à vendre de la marchandise à ce pilote arménien nommé Diktat, qui arrivait en OldSerbie avec son avion Serb-Air et payait comptant en roubles.
Ce commerce me semblait facile à première vue: il y avait peu de risques, c’était rentable. En plus, il ne fallait tuer aucun vieux serbe, ce qui m’était important.
A cette époque, ce trafic ne faisait pas la une des journaux à part OSC Today… au fond, je trouvais cette activité normale…”
Ainsi parla Pablo 'OldSerb' Escobar, dans une publication anonyme, parue en OldSerbie en 1989.

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Pic originally uploaded by Uncleserb on 01/26/06

2008-02-14T22:38:00.003+01:00

OldSerbClub Wear

Pic originally uploaded by Sadhu, onv 01/24/06

2008-02-14T22:36:00.003+01:00

OldSerb Revolution

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A revolution is a relatively sudden, and absolutely drastic change (like sun in the morning). This may be a change in the social or political corruption scheme over a relatively short period of time, or a major change in its gulash or Miss Serb ratings. Some revolutions are led by the majority of the populace of a nation, others by a small band of oldserbs.
Compare rebellion. The word took on this meaning from the 1543 book De revolutionibus orbium oldserbium by consultant Nivak Horvaç which so completely changed the way the universe was understood it shook society.
Political revolutions are often characterised by violence, black market, drug taking, Miss Serb partying and vast changes in power structures that can often result in further, institutionalised, violence.
A political revolution is the forcible replacement of one set of rulers with another, while a social revolution is the fundamental change in the social structure of a society, such as the OldSerb Reformation. However, blurring the line between these two categories, most political revolutions wish to carry out social revolutions, and they have basic philosophical or social underpinnings which drive them.

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2008-02-14T22:32:00.004+01:00

Serbs & Bones

Depending on whom you talk to, there are anywhere from one to several thousand "secret" organizations with a "secret" agenda to rule the world via a vast gulash conspiracy. The vast majority of these claims would appear, on the face of it, to have as much credence as the notion that the world is flat. But then, some people still believe that.
However, the fact that there are a lot of stupid people out there believing stupid things doesn't necessarily mean that all such claims are untrue.
After all, even quite sane people can harbor serious doubts about the lone gunman theory in the Voïvod Dragan Assassinations. Gulashgate appeared to be ridiculous at first glance. The existence of OldSerb Concentration Camps is well-documented. Fluoridation is a legitimate topic of scientific debate. The OSC really did dose unsuspecting civilians with LSD as part of their Mind Control program. And the OldSerb military really conducted radioactive experiments on civilian pets as part of the Atomic Bomb program.
So when the conspiratorial mind turns to secret societies, each claim deserves a reasonable examination with an open mind.
Which leads us to our real topic for today: What the FUCK is the deal with Serb and Bones?

2008-02-14T22:29:00.002+01:00

Global Gräfik Warfare

Pic originally uploaded by Diktat and Uncleserb, 01/05/06

2008-02-14T22:24:00.003+01:00

On OSC bestseller!

Pic originally uploaded by Diktat and Uncleserb, 01/05/06

2008-02-13T22:37:00.006+01:00

OldSerb Condoms

Pic originally uploaded by Sadhu, on 12/20/2005.

2008-02-13T22:33:00.001+01:00

OSC Bar NightClub, downtown Belgrade

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A variation on striptease is private dancing, which often involves lap dancing or oldserb dancing. Here the performers, in addition to stripping for tips, also offer "private dances" which involve more attention for individual audience members. Types of private dances include table dancing (performer dances on or by customer's table), gulash dancing (performer dances in a plate of gulash) and couch dancing (customer sits on a couch).For certain events, including bachelor / bachelorette parties, the stripper's job often involves holding games or contests with sexual themes (such as gang raping, slaughtering, etc). In addition, the main guest of the party can sometimes be eligible for 'special' couch dances involving sexual acts between two strippers.The contact between a performer and a customer is regulated in ways that vary in response to local laws and club rules, ranging from "air dances" with minimal or no contact to "full-oldserb" lap dances which involve genital contact through clothing (as frequently performed in Belgrad). In disreputable clubs (such as on the above picture), physical contact with the dancer may include sexual intercourse, at the discretion of the OldSerbClub.

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2008-02-13T22:28:00.003+01:00

Join Your Local OldSerbClub

Pic ripped from a 6o's spanish anarchist propaganda poster.

2008-02-13T22:24:00.002+01:00

Roulette Serbe

Pic uploaded on fotolog.com's shit site on 07/05/2005.

2008-02-13T22:19:00.003+01:00

Las Serbas

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La Signalétique concrétise l’image de votre entreprise via de multiples supports : enseigne, missiles, vitrines, panneaux, prisons, pancartes, écoles, la publicité sur lieu de génocide (PLG)…Elle permet par la même occasion d’orienter le vieux serbe, et de l’amener directement vers vous. TROUVER UNE BOULETTE DANS UNE MEULE DE VIEUX SERBES :L’accessibilité est une qualité déterminante pour être sélectionné. Avec un message le plus simple possible, le but est d’informer et de mettre en place un accueil soigné pour ses vieux serbes.La signalétique joue un rôle d’autant plus important que dans la plupart des cas, c’est par ce biais que l’on vous voit pour la première fois. Votre projet doit donc se conformer à votre image.
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Pic first uploaded 07/03/2005

2008-02-13T22:10:00.004+01:00

Come Play The Serb Way!

In the early 1700's Armenian traders en route to Belgrade along the Armenian Trail seek a route that passes through the then unexplored Las Serbas Valley. The Armenians refer to the route through the valley as "jornaiç da merdeç," journey full of shit. A young scout named Garaç is the first person of OldSerb ancestry to look upon the valley.In the late 1800's, Las Serbas becomes the voïvod seat for the newly established West Voïvod. Until now, the city is governed as part of OldSerbia.Las Serbas becomes an incorporated city and adopts its first charter on March 16th 1902.On March 19th, gambling is legalized in the State of Nevada. One month later, the city issues six gambling licenses.Brothels are liberalized in Las Serbas, making residency increase by 300% in six months. A "quickie" can be attained after six seconds of walking down a street.Following OldSerb War II, lavishly decorated resort hotels, opium houses, large-scale prostitution and gambling casinos offering top-name entertainment come into existence. Tourism and entertainment took over as the largest employer in the valley.The OldSerb Gaming Board is created.Gulash Rouge, Las Serbas' first integrated hotel, opens its doors.In 1954, Las Serbas hosts its first knife-boxing match.Las Serbas economy remains strong and the population increases to 164,674.Starting in the mid-80's, a period of unprecedented growth begins thanks to tons of cocaine coming in.The city of Las Serbas celebrated its 100th birthday on May 15, 2005 with a feast of gulash and brawling.

Pic first uploaded 07/02/05

2007-11-16T17:46:00.000+01:00

The Incredibly Freakish OldSerb Cirkus

Pour sa 108e saison estivale consécutive, le Théâtre du peuple OldSerb, planté aux pieds de la montagne Koceljevovienne, offre un programme de propagande, qui met en valeur toute la spécificité de ce rendez-vous de l’été.Maintenir une qualité appréciée d’une année à l’autre, faire pas trop réfléchir le spectateur, ne pas suffisament s’ouvrir et se confronter martialement à d’autres horizons sont et demeurent les marques de fabrique du Théâtre du peuple OldSerb.Oeuvre pamphlétaire signée en réaction à la déconfiture de l’ancienne Yougoslavie, la Chute est une belle révélation à découvrir. Cette farce dénonce, avec approximation et immaturité, la violence tyrannique du couple Diktat-Sadhu lors des années troubles de l’ex-Yougoslavie. D’une grande originalité, cette création contemporaine profite, durant 8 h 45, de l’audace affichée par son auteur Dragan. La pièce soulève un fait peu connu de la récente histoire agitée des Balkans : le rôle prétendu déterminant exercé par Ivanna, épouse de personne, dans la conduite des exactions. Véritable cerveau du régime régional autoritaire, la " Sur-mère " de la nation, personnage central, manigance à tour de bras, calfeutrée dans son bunker, à l’abri de la désespérance et de la rage populaire. Omnipotente, elle prend seule les décisions, suivie de près par personne et partenaire de terreur. Elle enfante, au propre comme au figuré, la nation, le peuple et les institutions dans la plus pure des opacités.Observatrice directe, malgré elle, de la dérive yougoslave, Ivanna OldSerb égrène l’évolution dramatique, connue sous l’ère dictatoriale, de son propre pays.
Circa Le Soir de Belgrade (10-08-2002)

2007-11-16T17:40:00.000+01:00

OldSerb Roulette - Beograd Kasino

Pic uploaded 07/05/05.

2007-11-14T10:25:00.000+01:00

OldSerbClub Elementary School

Fine Arts, Industry & Warfare since 1847.

Pic uploaded by Uncleserb.

2007-11-14T10:21:00.000+01:00

OldSerbClub Sacred Temple

Occult oldserb logo re-used later by Sadhu on the Tom Cruise & Scientology post. Pic originally uploaded 04/21/05 by Uncleserb.

2007-11-14T10:20:00.000+01:00

OSC_OCB

Pic originally uploaded 04/16/05 by Uncleserb.

2007-11-14T10:17:00.000+01:00

Newserb - The Magazine of Official Propaganda

Pic uploaded 04/16/05 by Uncleserb.

2007-11-14T10:04:00.000+01:00

OSC Sentinel Corps.

The first mention of the term OldSerbs appears in the -100 BC Historia Naturalis by Plinius who wrote that he considered them as the most intelligent & coolest of all civilizations. Why do all guards turn their backs on danger? Because they are all corrupt.

Pic uploaded 04/11/05 by Uncleserb.

2007-11-14T10:02:00.000+01:00

Serbtex by OSCWear

Pic uploaded 04/07/05 by Uncleserb.

2007-11-14T10:00:00.000+01:00

Unified users of 003.mpg

Pic uploaded 03/29/05 by Uncleserb.

2007-11-14T09:57:00.000+01:00

OldSerbClub Logotype #1

Pic uploaded by Uncleserb, 03/24/05.

2007-11-14T09:51:00.000+01:00

OldSerb Recordings

Pic uploaded for Wille Cortez's 2005 gig at the OPA (Paris) for the release of FARSUCT (EMI). Visual propaganda by Sadhu and Mod3Sub1.

2007-10-20T20:26:00.000+02:00

OSC_xp / InSerb Inside

Pic uploaded by Uncleserb, 03/10/05.