To this blog readers

Today’s entry, “3 Simple Changes That Will Improve Your Days” is published as a guest entry over at The Art of Great Things.  Head over there to read it, and make sure you check out other entries at Jeffrey’s blog.  I have had the privilege of reading this blog since it was in it early stage and I have definitely gained a lot of insight and perspective by reading it.  I’m sure you will love it!

To those of you arriving from The Art of Great Things — Welcome!

I’m glad you took your time to come visit and I sure hope you enjoy this blog and stick around for more.  You can read about this blog and myself at the About page.  Through this blog I aim to share my thoughts about things I have learned and share experiences that have allowed me to lived a more fulfilled life.  I tend to focus my blog entries on things I believe will allow you to be more productive, live a healthier life, and most importantly, a happier one.  You can take a look at some of the last few entries to get a feel of this, here are links to a couple.:

Making a Difference in Society
First Steps to Any Success — Stop Lying to Yourself
Most Important Steps to Getting Things Done

Please feel free to browse some more.  The earlier posts on this blog focus more on my experience in Japan this past summer and are more personal experience entries — a bit different from the current focus of the blog.  Take a look at those older entries if you feel adventurous.

I can always be reached by e-mail or through any comment on this blog, so reach out if you have any questions, suggestions, or comments in general.

Smile and have an excellent day, you and those around you deserve it. :)

- Omar

http://www.flickr.com/photos/notsogoodphotography/ / CC BY 2.0

Common reward systems, and society in general, teach us to admire results, not necessarily habits and behavior.  Although this works fairly OK sometimes, pushing everyone to give more and more good results, there is a huge problem behind this system — excellent results can hide a story of many bad decisions and behaviors.

Think about a farm manager that asks his employees to deliver him at the end of the month a certain amount of profit.  He will reward them only if they reach that goal.  The farmers and sales staff decide to just go ahead and reach the goal, and in the process they compromise the quality of the product they are marketing and also the sustainability of the farms.  In their eagerness to achieve the goal, the farmers harvest all they can, even when some of the product is still not ripe or ready for selling, and the marketing staff overworks distributers.  At the end of the month they reach the target revenue, but do so by compromising the revenue for the months to come and also the quality of life of many employees.  Does that sound right?  Not to me.

This is why it is important that we realize that result-based rewards have their place and time, but they are only good if they reward positive behavior.  A scientist that discovers the cure for a letal disease should be rewarded only if the process by which he/she discovered this cure was not harmful or immoral.  This way we are promoting work habits that lead to good results through good methods.

Apply this in your house!  Don’t obsess over your child getting straight A’s in school, but rather teach your child to enjoy learning and how to take pride on his work.  An A+ at school may hide cheating or questionable persuasion, but taking pride in our finished work is something that will drive your child to work more efficiently and produce better work if well taught.

Always recognize small changes in behavior, because these will be key for long term success.

The art of giving rewards lies on picking the right habit to reward, and then coming up with a system that will allow us to do so.  Be creative, learn from other programs, and find a way to do so.  This will make us much better influencers when we use rewards.  At the end of the day, though, try not to reward excessively since it may make it lose value, but do recognize every improvement one way or another.  People need the encouragement of knowing that their progress is being appreciated. :)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/advocacy_project/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

I have one really important tip about unsolicited advice, don’t give it.  Unless you are in a company setting and are managing someone else, or have some sort of responsibility over someone (parent, tutor, teacher), there is no reason why you should be giving any sort of unsolicited advice.

To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own.
- John Gray

How many times have you seen someone brighten up and feel better after they receive advice they didn’t think they needed in the first place?  The answer might not be never, but quite closely.  Now think about the number of times you have seen someone get upset because of such ‘helpful advice’ they didn’t want to hear.  I’m sure the number is far greater.

The reason unsolicited advice is so unpopular is because the person it’s directed to is usually not open to receive it, or they’d be asking for it.  In order for your words of wisdom to sink in so someone can learn from them, that person has to be receptive and in the right mood to receive them.  Most parents have learned this the hard way, after realizing that their kids won’t listen even after being punished unless they are in a mindset that allows them to.  When people are taken aback by your criticism, they are most likely going to be thinking “What the heck is this person talking about?  Why are you saying such things?  Do you think you are better than me?” among other things.

So, if you have some advice to give, you need to make sure the other person is open to receive it.  In order to do this there are a few things you should keep in mind.  Before you do so, ask yourself just once again, “why am I so interested in giving this unsolicited advice, and can it be avoided without major problems?”

Tips for Giving Unsolicited Advice [When Absolutely Necessary]

1) If you’re going to criticize, make sure you do so gently, in a way that the other person can save themselves.  You don’t want them to be cornered and feel suffocated, let them feel good about themselves.

2) Don’t just jump in and give your opinion, let the other person talk about the topic and fully listen to them.  One of the main reasons people don’t listen to someone’s advice is because they don’t feel they have been heard and understood before getting the criticism.  If you don’t stop and listen openly & patiently, don’t give advice.

3) Ask questions that put the other person in an agreeable tone, saying “yes yes.” Master influencers know that someone who has been agreeing with you during a conversation, no matter if it’s in topics unrelated to the issue at hand, will find it easier to agree with you when you switch topics to your subject of interest during the conversation.

4) Try to make the person think that the final idea the arrive at is their idea, even if you lead them there.  For example, you can ask leading questions to a friend that make him/her realize they need to be more prompt to meetings, such as “I have been arriving 5 minutes to some of my meetings, and I’m planning to do something to fix that, do you have any tips?”  to which they may respond “you know, I’ve been arriving 10 minutes late to my appointments, I should do something too!”  Eventually you may suggest that you both set alarms or use a daily agenda, but finally allow the other person to have the satisfaction to think that they decided all by themselves to use that agenda.

5)  Think about the person and personalize the feedback.  The same exact words can have devastating results in one person, but great results when told to another.  Make sure you are delivering your message in the way that will make the best impact in this individual.  Choose the appropriate time and setting, and method, to deliver your feedback.  This is probably the hardest step of all.  No matter what you do, don’t give this feedback when you are in an emotional state, keep your head cool.

These simple tips about unsolicited advice may make it better if you really have to give the feedback, but don’t overuse them.  The best way to get the most out of a conflict, is to avoid it altogether, so use that as your rule of thumb.  If conflict is necessary to fix someone’s habits that are affecting others, then give feedback in a delicate, considering manner that will help the person be willing to change.  At the end of the day, no one changes because YOU want them to change, they change because THEY want to change.  Give them a reason to want to change, and no reason for them not to want to change.

Do you want to make a great impact in society?  Shake things up in a way that everyone can talk about and admire?  Sort of like Mother Teresa, or Oprah?  (Side note: Why do I keep mentioning Oprah?  I need to chill on the Oprah love.)  The point is, many of us want to be one of the people who make a great impact in society, you know, someone with lots of INFLUENCE?

I have good news for you.  You can be one of the people who make a big impact in society by doing the right things, counseling the right people, or simply being who you are.  It requires awareness and good intentions… you need to realize that every little action you take, escalates and affects many more people than you believe.  In fact, you are affecting (or influencing) many people daily in a good or bad way just by living your day, even if you don’t notice how big of an effect your behavior has in others.

Little things matter!

I remember a news article I read my freshman year in college, winter 2006, about a female customer at Starbucks’ drive-through who decided to wish happy holidays to the next customer by paying for his/her coffee.  It was a simple gesture that escalated into more than 3 hours (reaching over 140 customers) of people making the same gesture for someone else.  You can call it the Christmas spirit, but just see it as a manifestation of how much reach a simple, individual action can have.  Did you watch the movie “Pay it Forward?”  Imagine if that were applied to the real world. (Read image caption)

From the movie "Pay It Forward." A child explains a project that will change the world. Help someone in a small way and instead of getting pay for it, ask the person to 'pay it forward' by helping 3 other people, and asking those 3 to do the same.

Why am I telling you this?  The reason I want to communicate this is because for far too long I have been hearing people talking about how much they wished they could make a difference in the world.  We all want to be that individual hero that everyone goes to or recognizes.  But the truth is, we are ALL influencing hundreds, if not thousands of people by each small action we take.

Think about what you’ve done so far in your day.  Each smile you may have given to someone else this morning most likely translated into a few extra smiles, which in turn caused many more.  Even if your smile didn’t translate into a thousand smiles, it most likely caused a reaction in someone and lightened their day, or at least made them evaluate how they were going through their days.  Small gestures such as these may not be overlooked.  We need to think of the power that these little gestures have, and work so that more and more people join in the fun of giving smiles to others.

There is so much potential for improvement in our daily lives by just taking small steps.  Make an effort to improve someone else’s life each day, if we all do this, the world will soon become a better place to live in.

“The features of our face are hardly more than gestures which have become permanent”
Marcel Proust

Make your face features pleasant to the world by continuously smiling, and you will be positively impacting society in a far greater way than you can imagine.

Try a little exercise.  Count the number of smiles you give and receive in a day.  Then try to double the number of smiles you give each week (and make sure they are more than the ones you receive).  See how your life changes, and then  come back and share your experience.

In my opinion and observation, just about ~99% of our limitations are made up.  They are a straight up lie.  That’s right, lies.  And who lied to you to limit your potential?  You did.  Remember when you were growing up and went to a language class, hated it, and after that said “I’m just not good at languages?”  That day, you lied to yourself.  Then you may have gotten a C- on a high school essay and said, “I am not a good writer.”  You lied to yourself, yet again.  One day you heard about a stubborn person and the sound of it resounded with you and you started saying, “I am stubborn.”  You may have liked the freedom of THINKING that people would just put up with whatever you said or did since you labeled yourself as stubborn.  Oh, we are a funny bunch, aren’t we?

“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.”
- Mahatma Gandhi

There are many other examples of self-limiting comments.  How many of you have heard people say things like: I just can’t lose those extra pounds, I’m always late, I always get sick, I’m just kind of moody sometimes.  We go on telling everyone just how much we know about ourselves, and we say these things with a commanding tone that may fool others to believe these are inherent characteristics of who we are.  Scary stuff.

We are quite obnoxious about this, too.  Someone may be talking about the new diet they are trying and right then we go on about how diets don’t work for us and the 1000 reasons why you will never be on one again.  You tell the other person in detail just how much pain you went through when you couldn’t eat that piece of candy during your trip to Disney with your family, etc.  Guess what?  Other people probably don’t care, or at least not as much as you think they do.  And even if they did, this diet is giving them amazing results.  Just keep your mouth shut for a bit, resist the urge to give unsolicited advice, and listen with an open mind.  Maybe this diet would work for you, too!  Take your time to stop limiting yourself and others.

“If we are speaking, we are not listening or learning anything to add to our sum of knowledge.”
- Ken Fracaro

These limiting thoughts we have, I’m not good at this or that, reflect a defeated attitude.  We give up and say, that’s who I am, just take it or leave it.  Where is your DRIVE to push yourself?  Where is your drive to improve?  If we are not willing to put in work and effort, we will not learn.  Active learning only takes place when you challenge yourself to improve, and get out of your comfort zone.

Transform these negative thoughts!

If you have any thoughts similar to the ones mentioned above, you may want to learn to transform your thoughts in order to lead a happier life.  Let’s try it -

Next time you think “I don’t have any talent to dance,”  replace the thought with, “Let me Google ways to learn how to dance, maybe I can watch a YouTube video that can teach me some moves.”

Instead of saying, “I can’t lose the extra pounds, this is how my body is,”  take a step back and say, “If I want to lose weight, I need to stop doing what I have tried and learn new ways.”  Unless you have seen a doctor about your health and nutrition, and have effectively worked with a good personal trainer, there is no reason for you to say ‘this is who I am.’  We suddenly become genetics experts, and say “I got bad genes.”  Genetics may play a role, who knows, but most of the people who fail do so because they want to justify things, rather than work hard to change habits.

NO ONE will get ahead of the game by blaming others people or blaming things out of their control, only when we focus on the things we DO have control over, we succeed.

Don’t surrender when you are not happy about something, work to improve it.  Accept that you are who you are today because of the thoughts and decisions from your past, and know you can start today to forge a better tomorrow.

The English language is sometimes misleading.  People feel cold and they say “I am cold”, but cold has nothing to do with who they are, it’s just something they are feeling now.  Likewise, people are mislead by the way they describe ‘feeling angry,’ they say “I am angry” enough times that anger becomes a part of who they are, and they constantly feel angry or upset.  Be aware of what you say you are. You are not bad at something, you just have not yet gained the skills you desire to obtain and will work for.

Let’s approach life in a more positive note, looking always forward to improving ourselves rather than allowing defeat to take over.  This way life will be happier for us and everyone surrounding us.

Has she gone crazy?  Oh no, that’s Lady Gaga, one of the fastest rising music artists in the world from this past year.  Who is Lady Gaga?  What does she do?  What is so special about her? Why does she wear such weird outfits?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/hermida/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Lady Gaga may at first come across as just another pop artist trying to rise to stardom using the “shock factor.”  In reality, though, there is much more to her , and that’s the reason I believe she will continue to be there even after many other artists rise and fall from stardom.

So, what is so special about Lady Gaga?

–

1)  Passion for what she does

Lady Gaga is one of the hardest working artists you can find in the pop industry right now, particularly among those who are at her level of popularity.  Even after her sudden rise as an international pop star, she has kept her head cool and continued doing things her way, not losing the drive and passion she has for her work.  She always sings live in her performances while simultaneously dancing somewhat challenging choreographies, which is something you can rarely find among pop stars these days.  Most of them can’t do either!

Her willingness to work hard and until perfection for her performances really comes through, and because of it fans are much much happier after seeing her perform.  Even when her vocals are not as amazing as they would have been had she danced less or pre-recorded the show, fans will be willing to support her more than any other artist because she truly opens her heart during performances.  Fans and non-fans alike respect her more because of her commitment.

2)  Continuously challenges herself to improve

Lady Gaga’s rise to stardom came with 4 of her singles rocking the charts, and as such we all knew that going forward it would be difficult for her to top her own performance.  A moment I loved was when she was asked if she was afraid that she might lose “it”, that shock factor, and lose her fans.  Her answer?  She answered that in her opinion Beyonce [Knowles] has been up doing herself every year and has done so well, so she is going to use that as an inspiration to continue topping her own performances.

The level to which that answer was amazing still dazzles me.  Here we have a pop star that is not afraid of challenging herself to keep improving her performances, and while doing so honestly appreciated someone else’s talent and performance!  With the surge of competition that has really taken over America and most of the world, there is much we can learn from Lady Gaga’s elegant answer.  Focus on improving yourself, not on diminishing others or hoping they fall, is a lesson we should all take from this.

3)  Not afraid of acknowledging those who deserve it

We are all tired of BS, and particularly when we see so many people standing in front of a podium giving thanks to certain people, but they do so in the least sincere way possible.  It’s almost as if someone else talked to them before accepting an award and told them: “Now, remember.  If you thank your parents, people will think you are a nice guy and will like you more,” and then the artist goes up and says: “… and, yeah, thanks for my parents.  You guys are great,”  and then move on.

But Lady Gaga always thanks her fans, and she can’t be stopped from doing it.  She thanks them every single time she has an opportunity, and not only when in the spotlight, she also does it through YouTube & Twitter, even recognizing great fan blogs she has come across (such as GagaDaily.)  It’s humbling to see her show this kind of connection with her fans.

She is also quite specific about thanking the gay community and she does so honestly.  How do we know?  Cause she does it over and over.  Not only in one award ceremony, but also during her interviews where she adds: “The turning point for me was the gay community.”  She also thanked the gay community during her acceptance of the MTV Video Music Awards in a way that may be a bit controversial, “bless God and bless the gays.”  Now that’s a good way to go cross-boundaries while being grateful and polite and keeping a speech concise.

4) Consistent, in a very strange way

Hard-working Lady Gaga is always coming out with some new fashion, makeup, or dance performance that is designed to shock us, and it usually does.  Or at least lets us wondering, what the hell was she thinking?  The great thing, however, is that throughout all these performances, you can always ‘feel’ Lady Gaga’s presence.  You can tell that it’s still the same ‘muse’ that is inspiring all of this.  This is probably a product of her heavy involvement in the creative process of her work.  She even wore clothing true to herself when meeting the Queen of England. (see image)

5) Doesn’t lose her image, but is flexible

Lastly, something I’ve admired about Lady Gaga is how good she is at staying true to her image, but at the same time she is smart enough to be able to associate with a variety of people and not make it awkward.  She has risen to stardom because of her crazy style, but is able to pull it all together and be very real during interviews with TV personalities such as Oprah.  She is also able to express herself well, and is very genuine.

–

Because of these 5 things, and many more I may have looked over for now, Lady Gaga has had a very interesting career and a very fruitful one.  She has been able to wow her fans even after releasing a second album radically different from her first one, and I’m confident that she will continue to do so.  Hard-working as she is, there is nothing she won’t be able to achieve.

We can all learn from people like her, even if our paths are completely different from hers.  Passion for what you do and for improving yourself, gratefulness and sincerity, and staying true to yourself are things that no matter what you pursue will help you succeed.

Take care,
Omar

When you are complaining, you become a living, breathing “crap magnet.”
T. Harv Eker discussing The Law of Attraction -

The average person in this world has all they need in order to be very successful in life, they just limit themselves.  There’s no reason why we can’t be financially liberated and independent and simultaneously have good relationships and be spiritually wealthy.  We should be able to, after some focused work, escape a 9-5 job and live comfortably with no financial worries and some good income streams.  Of course, I think a 9-5 job is good, and even necessary, for many people, but does not have to be the only destination for you.  Jeffrey Tang talks about this in this blog entry I particularly liked.  Although I signed a contract to start a 9-5 type of job in a couple of months, I think that it’s important for everyone to know that we do have OPTIONS.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/paullew/ / CC BY-NC 2.0

No matter where you look, everyone who has taken time and observed those who have achieve great wealth, even when starting with little or nada, had a few common characteristics that were KEY for this to be possible.  All the books I’ve come across about wealth and success have at one point or the other mentioned a very recurring subject — Think and Grow Rich (Napoleon Hill), Rich Dad Poor Dad (Robert Kiyosaki), The One Minute Millionaire (Robert Allen), and not money oriented ones such as Getting Things Done (David Allen), The Secret (Rhonda Byrne) and A New Earth (Eckhart Tolle) .  What you can notice is that there are a few KEY things that will set the successful apart from those who fail.

Here are 3 –

1. Defined Purpose
2. Positive Attitude & Resiliance
3. Giving

I. Defined Purpose

You must define what you truly want to, and will, achieve.  Everything is within your reach, if you focus on it.  It is easy to bounce around ideas of things that ‘would be nice to obtain,’ but what I’m talking about here is to TRULY DEFINE WHAT YOU WANT.  Grab a piece of paper and write on it your idea of success, and don’t ignore any important things when doing this.  Then, realize that all this you can have, if you truly believe you deserve it and will get it.

It all boils down to this, if you truly know what you want and believe you have it, you’ll see it materialize.  This truth has been taught by many successful people, and was taught by Jesus himself when he said, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”  This is not an obscure philosophy, but one that has been around for thousands of years.

Why can’t you go ahead and fully believe it?  Most people would rather dream small and not get disappointed than dream big and face a few challenges to get there.  This brings me to my next point.

II. Positive Attitude & Resiliance

If you are going through life seeing the cup half-empty, your next cup will look even emptier.  My glass is not half-empty, it’s not even half-full, it’s overflowing.  Keeping a positive attitude has a gazillion benefits, but one of the most important ones is that it will allow you to enjoy your life, NOW!  I feel extremely fortunate to have realized this rather early, there is more to life than what people tend to see.  We all go through our lives and tend to worry because of small, insignificant things.  It’s difficult for people in general to take a step back and realize that, within the big scheme of things, we are doing amazingly well!  Remind yourself of all the things you do have, not what you’re lacking, and life will be much more fruitful for you.  Say “Thank You” for your life, and truly feel grateful, and you will get more out of it.

You’d be amazed by the number of people that I meet who are MIT students and feel that their life is the worst, and can’t stop complaining about things.  I am talking about people who have access to education from one of the top universities in the world, people who were given an opportunity to study here when the admission rate is only ~12%, and they still feel that way.  Ridiculous, huh?  It seems that the human race has been plagued with a disease that doesn’t allow us to take a step back and truly feel grateful for all that we have in life.

We need to be resilient and keep a positive attitude.  More than 90% of the population won’t do that, they will be positive for a few minutes after reading a nice article and then they allow their doubt to creep in.  If you want your life to be better,  you must do something different.  This is your chance, keep a positive attitude.

In the end, a positive attitude will always bring people to your life with a similar vibe.  We attract each other based on how we feel.  So allow yourself to laugh and smile genuinely, you will attract positive people to your life and with them better health and happiness.

III. Giving

The effects of giving go beyond measures.  Hopefully we’ve all seen it or experienced it first hand at some point.  If you want people to be friendlier to you, start by thinking that people ALREADY are nicer and friendlier, and treat them as such.  Treat everyone like this and you will then experience the benefits.

This same concept  applies to any other thing you may want.  Don’t frown and keep a stern look while you wait to receive it, go ahead and give it as if you already had received it.  If you keep telling yourself you “can’t afford this” or that, you never will.  I’m not saying that you should go ahead and make irresponsible decisions, but don’t keep focusing on the lack of something, rather focus your thoughts on all the great things you have and life will be better.

Remember, always ask “How can I obtain this?” rather than saying “I wish I could obtain that” or even worse “I can’t afford that.”

One thing to note here, though.  Sometimes we wish for the wrong thing.  If you want love, imagine your life full of love, but don’t ask for a specific person to love you.  Let everyone decide for themselves who to love and enjoy life with, you should just focus on your own health and love, and go forward with that.  Hope you understand why this makes sense and it’s important.

I read David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done, and I’m glad I did.  There are many, many useful tips and a fantastic system to be learned out of that book.  Here I want to share with you the most important things I learned to boost productivity and make time for the things you want to do!

Define the Next Step

Don’t say “I need to workout more” and just let that sit in the back of your head.  This is a very abstract goal and will lead to inaction.  Instead, say what is the next step you need to take in order to get this ‘goal’ DONE.  For example, “Set Schedule for going to the Gym” would be a bit more concrete and would lead to “Go to the gym at X hour of the day for 45 minutes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.”

The reason it is so important to DEFINE the next action to be taken is that it really makes the next step simpler.  You don’t have to stop and think, “what should I do to workout more?” next time you think about working out, you already defined your next step, GET TO THE GYM.  Maybe before you get there you have to define many smaller steps and get them done, such as “find a good workout plan for me to follow”, “buy a water bottle and gym clothes”, etc.  The point is that you have a clear plan with only actionable items, not ideas, to be DONE, and it’s very clear what you should do next.

Don’t keep things in your head

Most people, myself included, tend to keep a list of things they have to do, but in their heads.  The reason, they haven’t found a better system.  The problem with this is that we tend to forget things we are not focusing our attention in, which makes us less efficient.  You should know what I mean if you have ever gone to the Post Office and on the way back home you realize that you should have bought THE light bulb. The light bulb you need for the bathroom that you could have gotten at the store next door  from the post office.  If you had a good system in place with lists you could check such as “errands” you would have seen the item saying “BUY LIGHTBULB” and would have made better use of your time during the trip to the Post Office.

Another important reason to keep things in a system outside of our heads, a reliable system, is that when we are working on something we don’t get distracted by thoughts such as “am I forgetting something?” or “damn, I need to call X or Y person to figure out Z thing.”  If you have a good system in place that can capture everything that you currently keep in your head, and this system reminds you of the things you need to know, when you need to know them, you will be able to FOCUS on the task at hand. This will definitely allow you to be more efficient!  A person that is distracted takes twice as long to get the same task done, with twice as many mistakes, that someone who focuses.  So, work your system well organized and start working more efficiently!

There are lots of things to be learned from the book, Getting Things Done, and if anything I wrote here intrigues you and you would like to learn more about how to further implement it in your life, I refer you to the book.  It’s one of the best investments I’ve done.

Questions, Suggestions, and Comments are welcome!  Comment in this post and I will definitely read them all and answer when appropriate. :)

To a Happy and Productive Year, Decade, and Lifetime!

Image Credit:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/seandreilinger/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

http://www.flickr.com/photos/paullew/ / CC BY-NC 2.0

New year, new beginnings – or so they say. “What will the new year bring?” we often ask. “Happy New Year!” we often exclaim. Are we taking the time to really celebrate and enjoy the holidays? Are we taking the time to reflect and take the proper steps to enjoy the new year?

Each day presents us with at least one opportunity to change the rest of our lives. So why do we place so much emphasis on celebrating the beginning of a new year? The reason is, I think, that a year is a time that is long enough for us to really transform our lives, but short enough so that we can still reflect on it and learn from all the experiences we have experienced.

In a day, you can adjust the direction in which your life goes. In a week, you can reach a new destination. In a month, you can make new friends and start new relationships. But in a year, in one year, you can build a new life for yourself. It is amazing how much we can do and change while living through the four seasons. So, what will I transform in my life this coming year?

A year ago I found myself thinking about my future. I would, I said, make a change from my engineering life into a more business-related one. I would find a way to complete my bachelors in chemical engineering, but I would graduate and move on to something different. I wanted a career that allowed me to make a big impact in society and organizations, but allowed me to frequently interact with others. I also wanted to meet many new people, expand my social group, while simultaneously keeping my friends close.

This year allowed me to do that and more. Although I did not test for my black belt in Taekwondo, which was one of my goals, I think that my year was all I could ask for. I took some time off taekwondo and focused on academics, work, and friends. I also used that time to plan for my summer in Japan, a summer that was life-changing all by itself, and to figure out my career plan after graduation. Taking that break allowed me to clear up my mind in a way I may not have been able to otherwise.

A lesson I learned from that process, however, was to always keep communication open with others. To not shy away from sharing my honest thoughts with those around me, friends, family, instructors, and peers. Not keeping things clear may give rise to misunderstandings, and may end up hurting relationships unnecessarily.

I also learned that although it is great to have a close group of friends, you should always listen to your heart and your mind. There are times in which only you will know what is best for you, and if you don’t give yourself a chance to explore what your mind is telling you to do, what you feel is right, you may be giving up on the life you always hoped for. I love my friends, I cheer them every minute I can, but sometimes I have to be strong and self-reliant, cause only I will be there for myself every second of the day.

Here is a summary of what the seasons this year brought me –

Late Winter – Spring 2009
Just like the fields flower in the Spring to symbolize the new beginnings, there were plenty of new beginnings for me. Although I had a successful Academic semester, my major accomplishment was to learn to keep myself happy and relaxed! I think that, although I have always been on the ‘happy and relaxed’ side, this year is marked by an optimism I had not felt before. Maybe it was partially triggered by reading “The Secret”, Eckhart Tolle, or one of those philosophical books I read, or maybe it was just the strengthening of my relationships with my family, friends, and that special someone. Whatever it was, I think that my approach to life and the way I looked at it made this past year possibly my happiest yet. Waking up every morning and allowing myself to feel good about me and my day, and whatever it may bring, allowed me to really absorb and enjoy the beauty of each day. Even when times were not the best, when friendships/relationships were rocky, when family was not at its best, or when academic pressures were at their peak, there was hope and happiness within me. I always new things would be great. Not okay, not good, not fine, but fantastic.

Summer 2009–
When the heat of the summer came around, I ran to beautiful Japan and there had a summer I could never summarize. As I wrote on my summer report about my summer –

How do I begin this report? There are far too many things I would like to express and share from my experiences in Japan, far too many to summarize here. However, to keep things simple, I will just say that my summer in Japan was a life-changing experience, and the memories from this trip I will forever treasure.

I think that is the best description of my summer. I wrote plenty about it here – http://omareduardo.com/tag/summer-2009 if you ever wonder what I did or loved so much in Japan.
Looking back at my summer, all I can remember is happiness and joy. I allowed myself to smile and laugh for no reason, to truly be present at the moment, and to stop thinking that “tomorrow” or “someday” I would be able to have the life I wanted and truly enjoy happiness. I replaced that thinking with knowing that there is no better day than today, no better moment than the present, to feel the warmth and happiness in our hearts that I had always been ’seeking’. Maybe it was not Japan in particular that made my summer special, maybe the special part of it was me allowing myself to truly enjoy life.
I am now thinking about my summer in Japan, and it was a beauty. Those long days were beautiful and allowed me to truly experience what it was to be completely free –

Fall 2009 – Early Winter 2009
The fall season was one of changes. The spring flowers and green summer leaves were now transitioning into more serious and mellow colors, and so was my life. But far from being a sad transitioning phase, it was yet another season of happiness and love. Although I missed my life in Japan, and the freedom I felt there, after some stumbles and lessons I learned that I could be free and truly happy anywhere. I did not need to be at a particular place to allow myself to be happy, optimistic, and free. I enjoyed the company of my friends, and I was able to strengthen my special relationship, which had bloomed during the Spring. I was also able to reconnect with friends and find a job, the job I had been asking for – a job that would allow me to transition from engineering to a more business-y job. This would will allow me to solve problems while interacting with others and to make a big impact in organizations.

The late fall and early winter greeted me with snow in mid-October and then some brutal cold. This was before my travels to warm (almost hot) Puerto Rico. Just as I moved physically in the world, allowing me to escape the cold weather and embrace warmth, I learned this year that when everything seems cold around me, in my surrounding emotional world, I can transform my thoughts and my reality to keep my heart warm. I can always choose to irradiate happiness and love, and not to let the coldness and bitterness in the air infect me. There is always a way, if I believe, and it is that way that I will always keep my life open to.

Concluding Remarks –

I am happy, and have learned to be happier. This year has allowed me to transform my life mentally and emotionally, and helped me become stronger and better. I will always strive for better, but will never stop enjoying the present, this very moment I am living. There will never be a better moment to be truly happy than NOW.

Enjoy the Holidays & Happy New Year ~
To a great 2009 and an even better 2010 ~
Life gets better, moment by moment.

Let’s face it, when you have something important to do that you don’t want to do, even doing your friends’ homework seems appealing (and urgent) in some sort of weird way.  This is why we can be ‘working’ 8 hours a day and only get results for what we could have done in less than half of the time.  Because of this, I encourage you to use a ‘focused-work’ system.

When you have a task at hand, and you know you have to do it eventually, just set out 25-30 minute intervals to work on it uninterrupted.  You heard me, uninterrupted.  If someone calls you, and you know it’s not urgent, let the phone call go to voicemail and return the call after your 30 minutes focused work session is over.  No checking e-mails, text messages, facebook, instant messengers, blogs, etc.  None of that.  You are just going to work for 25-3o minutes purely on your task at hand, and then you will reward yourself with a 5 minutes break.

During your 5 minutes break go ahead and return that phone call, or check your e-mail/facebook/etc.  Then look forward to your next 25-30 minutes focused work session and your eventual 5-minutes break.

To put this into practice all you need is a timer.  This timer will preferably not be your cellphone.  Once you have your timer this is what you can do –

1. Make a list of the tasks you need to work on.
2. Make boxes to its side, one box for each 25-30 minutes time period you will need to finish the task.
3. Now, every time you work on the task for 25-30 minutes uninterrupted make a checkmark on the box — if you allowed yourself to get distracted, instead of a checkmark make an X or other symbol.

This system will allow you to see how often you can actually finish a focused work period, and at the end of the task you can also get a good estimate of how long you ACTUALLY worked on a project.  You’ll be surprised when you realize that those 10 hours papers could actually be finished in 5 hours.

At the end of the day, it comes down to your own work style.  I would rather work very efficiently 5 hours and then go enjoy 5 hours getting a good dinner, some tea, and relaxing,  rather than spending 10 hours working inefficiently just because of the instant gratification of allowing myself to give in to distractions.

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On a separate note, I just accepted a job offer from Accenture as an Analyst, so I will be working there shortly after graduation next June 2010.  I’m thrilled about this opportunity! :)