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	<title>Random Crap</title>
	
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		<title>SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/omgwebsitelol/kVZE/~3/soDb6nYSbBM/success-figured-printer-cancel-printing-job</link>
		<comments>http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/ways-to-save-the-world/success-figured-printer-cancel-printing-job#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 May 2011 20:07:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>PaulKneecracker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ways to save the world]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=284</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So I got angry at my printer today and wrote the thing below and posted it on reddit. Seems like I&#8217;m not the only who totally hates printers. So I thought it would be only fair to my blog to actually repost it here too. Posting every 6 months has become hard to keep up [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/sOyND_O8aY4oLq9LuZ8kk8RakGw/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/sOyND_O8aY4oLq9LuZ8kk8RakGw/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/sOyND_O8aY4oLq9LuZ8kk8RakGw/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/sOyND_O8aY4oLq9LuZ8kk8RakGw/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><p>So I got angry at my printer today and wrote the thing below and posted it on reddit. Seems like I&#8217;m not the only who totally hates printers. So I thought it would be only fair to my blog to actually repost it here too. Posting every 6 months has become hard to keep up with so I&#8217;m recycling stuff I post on reddit. </p>
<p>Also, what&#8217;s up with all the ads on my blog, I don&#8217;t remember putting so many on. To be investigated at some point in the next six months. </p>
<p>So here&#8217;s the premium version of my post, for my blog readers&#8217; eyes only:</p>
<p><b>SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!</b></p>
<p>I just figured it out and since I&#8217;m probably not the only one in the situation, I thought it would be a good idea to share. The trick is to follow these 10 steps as soon as you realize you must cancel a print job:</p>
<p><b>1.</b> Push the cancel button 5-6 times really quickly.</p>
<p><b>2.</b> Go in printer setting and click &#8220;Pause&#8221; printer, then &#8220;Cancel&#8221; job, then &#8220;Delete&#8221; job, then uninstall printer.</p>
<p><b>3.</b> At this point, the printer should still be printing so remove all the paper in the tray to make sure it can&#8217;t print anymore.</p>
<p><b>4.</b> Turn Off Printer</p>
<p><b>5.</b> Restart Computer</p>
<p><b>6.</b> Turn On Printer, put the papers you already printed in the tray so as not to waste paper.</p>
<p><b>7.</b> At this point the printer will restart printing anywhere from 10 pages up to the entire document you started printing so go back to step #6 every time you run out of paper in the tray.</p>
<p><b>8.</b> At this point, the reuse of the paper will make the printer jam and temporarily stop the printing process.</p>
<p><b>9.</b> Turn printer off again, and unplug it.</p>
<p><b>10.</b> Bring it to the backyard and smash it into pieces with your bare knuckles while tears stream down your cheeks.</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.reddit.com/r/geek/comments/h3awe/success_i_just_figured_how_to_make_the_printer/">And here&#8217;s a link to the non premium, reddit version.</a>
<p><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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<img usemap='#google_ad_map_284_909faa29b2d0243c' border='0' src='http://imageads.googleadservices.com/pagead/ads?format=468x30_aff_img&amp;client=&amp;channel=&amp;output=png&amp;cuid=284&amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.omgwebsitelol.com%2Fways-to-save-the-world%2Fsuccess-figured-printer-cancel-printing-job' title="SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!" alt=" SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!" /></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>So I took a break from my hard work today and came up with this.</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/omgwebsitelol/kVZE/~3/cwPJH9Adj6s/break-hard-work-today</link>
		<comments>http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/ways-to-save-the-world/break-hard-work-today#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Sep 2010 13:43:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>PaulKneecracker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ways to save the world]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=277</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I call it &#8220;moonface&#8221; because it&#8217;s a face made out of moons. OMG Somewhat Related Crap From This Site LOL So I took a break from my hard work today and came up with this. Self-Back-Massage-Man Looks Like Stewie Griffin]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/d_KtaowDMynIS_MhM9ug98so3xc/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/d_KtaowDMynIS_MhM9ug98so3xc/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/d_KtaowDMynIS_MhM9ug98so3xc/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/d_KtaowDMynIS_MhM9ug98so3xc/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><p>So I got angry at my printer today and wrote the thing below and posted it on reddit. Seems like I&#8217;m not the only who totally hates printers. So I thought it would be only fair to my blog to actually repost it here too. Posting every 6 months has become hard to keep up with so I&#8217;m recycling stuff I post on reddit. </p>
<p>Also, what&#8217;s up with all the ads on my blog, I don&#8217;t remember putting so many on. To be investigated at some point in the next six months. </p>
<p>So here&#8217;s the premium version of my post, for my blog readers&#8217; eyes only:</p>
<p><b>SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!</b></p>
<p>I just figured it out and since I&#8217;m probably not the only one in the situation, I thought it would be a good idea to share. The trick is to follow these 10 steps as soon as you realize you must cancel a print job:</p>
<p><b>1.</b> Push the cancel button 5-6 times really quickly.</p>
<p><b>2.</b> Go in printer setting and click &#8220;Pause&#8221; printer, then &#8220;Cancel&#8221; job, then &#8220;Delete&#8221; job, then uninstall printer.</p>
<p><b>3.</b> At this point, the printer should still be printing so remove all the paper in the tray to make sure it can&#8217;t print anymore.</p>
<p><b>4.</b> Turn Off Printer</p>
<p><b>5.</b> Restart Computer</p>
<p><b>6.</b> Turn On Printer, put the papers you already printed in the tray so as not to waste paper.</p>
<p><b>7.</b> At this point the printer will restart printing anywhere from 10 pages up to the entire document you started printing so go back to step #6 every time you run out of paper in the tray.</p>
<p><b>8.</b> At this point, the reuse of the paper will make the printer jam and temporarily stop the printing process.</p>
<p><b>9.</b> Turn printer off again, and unplug it.</p>
<p><b>10.</b> Bring it to the backyard and smash it into pieces with your bare knuckles while tears stream down your cheeks.</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.reddit.com/r/geek/comments/h3awe/success_i_just_figured_how_to_make_the_printer/">And here&#8217;s a link to the non premium, reddit version.</a>
<p><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></p>
<div id="apf_post_footer">
<h4>OMG Somewhat Related Crap From This Site LOL</h4>
<ul>
<li class="apf_footer"><a href="http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=277">So I took a break from my hard work today and came up with this.</a></li>
<li class="apf_footer"><a href="http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=266">Self-Back-Massage-Man Looks Like Stewie Griffin</a></li>
</ul>
</div>
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<img usemap='#google_ad_map_284_909faa29b2d0243c' border='0' src='http://imageads.googleadservices.com/pagead/ads?format=468x30_aff_img&amp;client=&amp;channel=&amp;output=png&amp;cuid=284&amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.omgwebsitelol.com%2Fways-to-save-the-world%2Fsuccess-figured-printer-cancel-printing-job' title="SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!" alt=" SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!" /></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		<feedburner:origLink>http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/ways-to-save-the-world/break-hard-work-today</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>Self-Back-Massage-Man Looks Like Stewie Griffin</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/omgwebsitelol/kVZE/~3/tHldZi20VMI/self-back-massage-man-stewie-griffin</link>
		<comments>http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/ways-to-save-the-world/self-back-massage-man-stewie-griffin#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Jul 2010 00:58:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>PaulKneecracker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ways to save the world]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Back massage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bagina]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[britney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Griffin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[old man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stewie]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=266</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In YouTube news today, a clever old man promotes his self back massage video by forming Stewie Griffin with his arms and back. ]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/JylHo8GaoUu4VMYbbFbSdLAYUt0/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/JylHo8GaoUu4VMYbbFbSdLAYUt0/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/JylHo8GaoUu4VMYbbFbSdLAYUt0/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/JylHo8GaoUu4VMYbbFbSdLAYUt0/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><table>
<tr>
<td><img title="Self Back Massage Man Stewie Griffin" src="http://imgur.com/VxUeR.png" alt="VxUeR SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!"  />[/caption]</td>
<td>In YouTube news today, a clever old man promotes his self back massage video by forming Stewie Griffin with his arms and back. </td>
</tr>
</table>
<p><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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<h4>OMG Somewhat Related Crap From This Site LOL</h4>
<ul>
<li class="apf_footer"><a href="http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=277">So I took a break from my hard work today and came up with this.</a></li>
<li class="apf_footer"><a href="http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=266">Self-Back-Massage-Man Looks Like Stewie Griffin</a></li>
</ul>
</div>
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<img usemap='#google_ad_map_284_909faa29b2d0243c' border='0' src='http://imageads.googleadservices.com/pagead/ads?format=468x30_aff_img&amp;client=&amp;channel=&amp;output=png&amp;cuid=284&amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.omgwebsitelol.com%2Fways-to-save-the-world%2Fsuccess-figured-printer-cancel-printing-job' title="SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!" alt=" SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!" /></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>how my girlfriend searches for cars</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/omgwebsitelol/kVZE/~3/HlDqTOsvHhA/girlfriend-searches-cars</link>
		<comments>http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/crap-about-me/girlfriend-searches-cars#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Jan 2010 02:03:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>PaulKneecracker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[crap about me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cars]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gf]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[girfriend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[photo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[picture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[red car]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reddit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reddit.com]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stupid]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=257</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My gf searches for car and all she gets is a lousy post on reddit.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/8DMxFGjvBMkHg72RI5Uk_Atn7J0/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/8DMxFGjvBMkHg72RI5Uk_Atn7J0/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/8DMxFGjvBMkHg72RI5Uk_Atn7J0/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/8DMxFGjvBMkHg72RI5Uk_Atn7J0/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><p>So my girlfriends decides we need a car, this is how she searches for it&#8230;</p>
<p>
<a target="_blank" href="http://i.imgur.com/ZNpzP.png">(click to enlarge><br />
<br /><img src="http://i.imgur.com/ZNpzP.png" width="650" title="SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!" alt="ZNpzP SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!" /></a></p>
<p>In the end we haven&#8217;t picked a car yet, but at least my post made reddit.com front page! With a little research you can find my reddit account, feel free to pm me to say hi!
<p><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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<img usemap='#google_ad_map_284_909faa29b2d0243c' border='0' src='http://imageads.googleadservices.com/pagead/ads?format=468x30_aff_img&amp;client=&amp;channel=&amp;output=png&amp;cuid=284&amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.omgwebsitelol.com%2Fways-to-save-the-world%2Fsuccess-figured-printer-cancel-printing-job' title="SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!" alt=" SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!" /></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>WordPress: Add a goddamn “update all plugins” button</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/omgwebsitelol/kVZE/~3/ClMpOfwFSLk/wordpress-goddamn-update-plugins</link>
		<comments>http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/nerdyshit/wordpress-goddamn-update-plugins#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:28:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>PaulKneecracker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[nerdyshit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kneecracker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[plugins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[update]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wordpress]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=255</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Maybe it&#8217;s because I only post on this blog every three months but it really shits me to have to update 16 plugins one by one everytime I login into my wordpress account. If something of that sort already exists, please someone point it out to me and I&#8217;ll be shamed forever&#8230; EDIT: Ok so [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/9dOgA319SVi5i_08PnPb5g-iZyE/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/9dOgA319SVi5i_08PnPb5g-iZyE/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/9dOgA319SVi5i_08PnPb5g-iZyE/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/9dOgA319SVi5i_08PnPb5g-iZyE/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><p>So I got angry at my printer today and wrote the thing below and posted it on reddit. Seems like I&#8217;m not the only who totally hates printers. So I thought it would be only fair to my blog to actually repost it here too. Posting every 6 months has become hard to keep up with so I&#8217;m recycling stuff I post on reddit. </p>
<p>Also, what&#8217;s up with all the ads on my blog, I don&#8217;t remember putting so many on. To be investigated at some point in the next six months. </p>
<p>So here&#8217;s the premium version of my post, for my blog readers&#8217; eyes only:</p>
<p><b>SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!</b></p>
<p>I just figured it out and since I&#8217;m probably not the only one in the situation, I thought it would be a good idea to share. The trick is to follow these 10 steps as soon as you realize you must cancel a print job:</p>
<p><b>1.</b> Push the cancel button 5-6 times really quickly.</p>
<p><b>2.</b> Go in printer setting and click &#8220;Pause&#8221; printer, then &#8220;Cancel&#8221; job, then &#8220;Delete&#8221; job, then uninstall printer.</p>
<p><b>3.</b> At this point, the printer should still be printing so remove all the paper in the tray to make sure it can&#8217;t print anymore.</p>
<p><b>4.</b> Turn Off Printer</p>
<p><b>5.</b> Restart Computer</p>
<p><b>6.</b> Turn On Printer, put the papers you already printed in the tray so as not to waste paper.</p>
<p><b>7.</b> At this point the printer will restart printing anywhere from 10 pages up to the entire document you started printing so go back to step #6 every time you run out of paper in the tray.</p>
<p><b>8.</b> At this point, the reuse of the paper will make the printer jam and temporarily stop the printing process.</p>
<p><b>9.</b> Turn printer off again, and unplug it.</p>
<p><b>10.</b> Bring it to the backyard and smash it into pieces with your bare knuckles while tears stream down your cheeks.</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.reddit.com/r/geek/comments/h3awe/success_i_just_figured_how_to_make_the_printer/">And here&#8217;s a link to the non premium, reddit version.</a>
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<li class="apf_footer"><a href="http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=266">Self-Back-Massage-Man Looks Like Stewie Griffin</a></li>
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		<item>
		<title>Weird, useless yet awesome talent</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/omgwebsitelol/kVZE/~3/WmsdqOaKfxg/weird-useless-awesome-talent</link>
		<comments>http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/ways-to-save-the-world/weird-useless-awesome-talent#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jul 2009 04:26:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>PaulKneecracker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ways to save the world]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gymnast]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jerk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jerkface]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jerkoff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[police]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stretch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[talent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[violin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=249</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Amazing talent]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/SUIQCXg9JCz0RNIY4elWYFWQK9o/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/SUIQCXg9JCz0RNIY4elWYFWQK9o/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/SUIQCXg9JCz0RNIY4elWYFWQK9o/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/SUIQCXg9JCz0RNIY4elWYFWQK9o/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><p>Another talented man makes it in my top list of people I admire. This guy is just awesome in too may ways to describe in my modest blog.</p>
<p><object width="660" height="525"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YH63edSSZgI&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1&#038;border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YH63edSSZgI&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1&#038;border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="660" height="525"></embed></object></p>
<p>In other news a stupid jerkoff jerkface cop gave me a  ticket today for rollerskating in the street &#8211; and I&#8217;m not even doing cool tricks or damaging property, just using it as a way of transportation. The guy tells me &#8220;it&#8217;s dangerous, there are drunk drivers at this time of night&#8221; &#8211; so he gives ME a ticket because there are drunk drivers on the street! Since I&#8217;m a very mature person and a great artist I drew this dramatization of the situation.<br />
<center><br />
<img src="http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/lolpics/copandme.jpg" alt="copandme SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!"  title="SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!" /><br />
</center><br />
<center><br />
The conversation went something like this:<br />
Cop: Hey you roller skating fairy, what the fuck?!<br />
Me: I&#8217;m not a fairy sir, I&#8217;m a man.<br />
Cop: shut up, I&#8217;ll give you a ticket for skating like a fairy you fairy!<br />
Me: But&#8230; But&#8230;<br />
Cop: Mouahahahahha! Feels great to be a jerkoff jerkface!<br />
Me: *starts crying and poops his pants*<br />
</center>
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<li class="apf_footer"><a href="http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=266">Self-Back-Massage-Man Looks Like Stewie Griffin</a></li>
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		<item>
		<title>5 Ways to save a hot dog up a girl’s… (word that also means cat)</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/omgwebsitelol/kVZE/~3/ixXHIRnhoLg/how-to-save-a-hot-dog-out-of-a-girls-word-that-also-means-cat</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Apr 2009 04:05:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>PaulKneecracker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ways to save the world]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bagina]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crap]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dolphin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hot dog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kazoo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[save]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=239</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So I was checking out google webmaster tools to see if I was still kicking ass at keyword "dolphin crap" (which I still am) when I noticed something quite astonishing - somehow all mighty google ranks one of my posts 7th on the query "saving a hot dog up a girl's pussy"]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/AMCZBn22IRKvQezp7p6HeovIbVQ/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/AMCZBn22IRKvQezp7p6HeovIbVQ/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/AMCZBn22IRKvQezp7p6HeovIbVQ/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/AMCZBn22IRKvQezp7p6HeovIbVQ/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><p>So I was checking out google webmaster tools to see if I was still kicking ass at keyword &#8220;dolphin crap&#8221; (which I still am) when I noticed something quite astonishing &#8211; somehow all mighty google ranks one of my posts 7th on the query &#8220;saving a hot dog up a girl&#8217;s pussy&#8221;.</p>
<p>At first I found it amusing, but then I realized ranking so high on this query might in fact be endangering innocent women. Women who are frantically trying to google a way out of their unfortunate situation only to end up on a totally irrelevant post about <a href="http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/ways-to-save-the-world/how-come-no-one-told-me-women-could-do-that">a woman and her kazoo</a>.</p>
<p>Having at heart the safety of women, I decided to do an extensive research on the subject (mainly by googling &#8220;saving a hot dog up a girl&#8217;s pussy&#8221;) and present my groundbreaking work here.</p>
<p>Before starting, here are a few things people recommend you shouldn&#8217;t do:<br />
<strong></strong></p>
<p><strong>Do not use a steak knife</strong>: In general people seem strongly opposed that idea, most likely because the ratio of atrocious pain to hot dog removal is not very appealing to the woman involved.</p>
<p><strong>Do not push it further inside</strong>: In most cases, pushing it further in makes it harder to retrieve.</p>
<p><strong>Do not ask your dad/uncle/grandfather to remove it</strong>: You&#8217;re probably better off just keeping the hot dog there than dealing with the emotional scarring of having a male sibling helping you out.</p>
<p>Now that you know what not to do, here are the proper way taking care of it:</p>
<table>
<tr>
<td>
1. <strong>Squat and Push</strong><br />
Squat with your legs apart and push with your insides.</p>
<p><br/>2. <strong>Use Chopsticks</strong><br />
</strong></strong> Chopsticks are longer and slimmer than regular fingers so you can reach deeper and have less of a chance to push it further.</p>
<p><strong><strong>3. <strong>Pour down lube</strong><br />
</strong></strong>Just add tons of lube so as to make it easier to go out, then you can try the squat and push method.</p>
<p><strong><strong>4. <strong>Jump up and down with legs apart</strong><br />
</strong></strong>Keep  your legs as apart as possible while you jump and land on your heels to give that hot dog the maximum amount of force.</p>
<p><strong><strong>5. <strong>Go to hospital</strong><br />
</strong></strong> If everything else fails, go to the hospital, have it removed, then change your name and move away as far as possible.
</td>
<td><img src="http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/1337hax0r/imaaages/hotdogchick.jpg" alt="hotdogchick SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!"  title="SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!" /></td>
</tr>
</table>
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<li class="apf_footer"><a href="http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=266">Self-Back-Massage-Man Looks Like Stewie Griffin</a></li>
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		<title>Best way to get a raise</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/omgwebsitelol/kVZE/~3/dFOSl7sVVao/how-to-get-cought-with-a-prostitute</link>
		<comments>http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/ways-to-save-the-world/how-to-get-cought-with-a-prostitute#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Apr 2009 00:33:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>PaulKneecracker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ways to save the world]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blackmail]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crap]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[raise]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[random]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=227</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you&#8217;re looking to blackmail someone, this would be the perfect way to go about it. Notice the guy at about 1:00 &#8211; he looks like that&#8217;s not the first time that happens to him. By the way, I&#8217;ve added the digg button cause I&#8217;m so desperate to retire out of this crap site but [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Vap7qsj0HX240aHy0BcWQhO5XdE/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Vap7qsj0HX240aHy0BcWQhO5XdE/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Vap7qsj0HX240aHy0BcWQhO5XdE/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Vap7qsj0HX240aHy0BcWQhO5XdE/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><p>So I got angry at my printer today and wrote the thing below and posted it on reddit. Seems like I&#8217;m not the only who totally hates printers. So I thought it would be only fair to my blog to actually repost it here too. Posting every 6 months has become hard to keep up with so I&#8217;m recycling stuff I post on reddit. </p>
<p>Also, what&#8217;s up with all the ads on my blog, I don&#8217;t remember putting so many on. To be investigated at some point in the next six months. </p>
<p>So here&#8217;s the premium version of my post, for my blog readers&#8217; eyes only:</p>
<p><b>SUCCESS! I just figured how to make the printer cancel a printing job!</b></p>
<p>I just figured it out and since I&#8217;m probably not the only one in the situation, I thought it would be a good idea to share. The trick is to follow these 10 steps as soon as you realize you must cancel a print job:</p>
<p><b>1.</b> Push the cancel button 5-6 times really quickly.</p>
<p><b>2.</b> Go in printer setting and click &#8220;Pause&#8221; printer, then &#8220;Cancel&#8221; job, then &#8220;Delete&#8221; job, then uninstall printer.</p>
<p><b>3.</b> At this point, the printer should still be printing so remove all the paper in the tray to make sure it can&#8217;t print anymore.</p>
<p><b>4.</b> Turn Off Printer</p>
<p><b>5.</b> Restart Computer</p>
<p><b>6.</b> Turn On Printer, put the papers you already printed in the tray so as not to waste paper.</p>
<p><b>7.</b> At this point the printer will restart printing anywhere from 10 pages up to the entire document you started printing so go back to step #6 every time you run out of paper in the tray.</p>
<p><b>8.</b> At this point, the reuse of the paper will make the printer jam and temporarily stop the printing process.</p>
<p><b>9.</b> Turn printer off again, and unplug it.</p>
<p><b>10.</b> Bring it to the backyard and smash it into pieces with your bare knuckles while tears stream down your cheeks.</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.reddit.com/r/geek/comments/h3awe/success_i_just_figured_how_to_make_the_printer/">And here&#8217;s a link to the non premium, reddit version.</a>
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<li class="apf_footer"><a href="http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=266">Self-Back-Massage-Man Looks Like Stewie Griffin</a></li>
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		<item>
		<title>OMG Bleach = Loituma LOL</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/omgwebsitelol/kVZE/~3/do8i9a157sQ/omg-bleach-loituma-lol</link>
		<comments>http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/political-rant/omg-bleach-loituma-lol#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Apr 2009 02:52:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>PaulKneecracker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[political rant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bleach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[knockers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loituma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[orange]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[polka]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=218</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So today I figured out the Loituma girl is actually a character from super mega hit TV show “Bleach”. For a second I though I just discovered something huge, but a quick google search quickly crushed my elaborate hopes for fame and fortune.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/2skvq6obIu2Z6Ghs41peH3ABPwk/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/2skvq6obIu2Z6Ghs41peH3ABPwk/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/2skvq6obIu2Z6Ghs41peH3ABPwk/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/2skvq6obIu2Z6Ghs41peH3ABPwk/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><p>So today I figured out the Loituma girl is actually a character from super mega hit TV show “Bleach”. For a second I though I just discovered something huge, but a quick google search quickly crushed my elaborate hopes for fame and fortune.</p>
<p>So even though this is not news, it is news to me so screw you all, I can write whatever crap I want on my stupid crap blog.</p>
<p>On a side note, while watching the Bleach episode I noticed that the original Loituma video doesn’t do justice to the absolutely massive jugs that girl owns, so I’m including here an alternate version that does them justice.<br />
For those of you who don&#8217;t know here&#8217;s the original video:<br />
<object width="660" height="525" data="http://www.youtube.com/v/_mdMb6bRXt4&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;color1=0x006699&amp;color2=0x54abd6&amp;border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_mdMb6bRXt4&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;color1=0x006699&amp;color2=0x54abd6&amp;border=1" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /></object></p>
<p>Here&#8217;s another version, where you can appreciate the massive knockers:</p>
<p><object width="660" height="525" data="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ve2bT7yXijc&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;color1=0x006699&amp;color2=0x54abd6&amp;border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ve2bT7yXijc&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;color1=0x006699&amp;color2=0x54abd6&amp;border=1" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /></object></p>
<p>And here&#8217;s the actual Bleach video.</p>
<p><object width="640" height="360" data="http://www.joost.com/embed/37ahbdr" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowNetworking" value="all" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.joost.com/embed/37ahbdr" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /></object>
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		<title>OMGbestjobintheworldLOL!!!!</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/omgwebsitelol/kVZE/~3/pxTHUm0iyOI/omgbestjobintheworldlol</link>
		<comments>http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/uncategorized/omgbestjobintheworldlol#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Feb 2009 04:58:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>PaulKneecracker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.omgwebsitelol.com/?p=204</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Vote for me for the best job in the world!]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Bfrd7eVHyESlDqXAQWtBcu4ARXs/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Bfrd7eVHyESlDqXAQWtBcu4ARXs/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Bfrd7eVHyESlDqXAQWtBcu4ARXs/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Bfrd7eVHyESlDqXAQWtBcu4ARXs/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><p>OMG I applied to this job, LOL!</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.islandreefjob.com/#/applicants/watch/gtTyIL80_as" target="blank">Vote for me damnit!</a><br />
<br />
Hope you like my video.</p>
<table border="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td><object width="425" height="344" data="http://www.youtube.com/v/gtTyIL80_as&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gtTyIL80_as&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /></object></td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<p>
my hot girlfriend applies too, she&#8217;s so pretty!</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.islandreefjob.com/#/applicants/watch/o5LiBS8-okM" target="blank">Vote for her damnit!</a></p>
<table>
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<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/o5LiBS8-okM&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/o5LiBS8-okM&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></p>
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