The OmnipotentChirpCast

Clear Eyes, Full Height, Diet Coke

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 21:35:13 -0500

We're back! And it hasn't been six months. So consider yourselves spoiled, listeners. I'm just kidding. You're our lemmy lems, and we love you. The Big Three are out in full force this episode - Caitlin's talking about her craaazzzyyyy fuckkkeedd upppp life, Tim's taking down the east cost rednecks in paintball, and Katie is just on fire with the zingers. This is why we encourage her to drink during the recordings.

Note: Peter's mic sounds like shit, he fucked up the recording and it was totally over-modulated. Sorry about that. It won't happen again or he's out.

The Windshield Perspective

Tue, 17 May 2011 15:49:13 -0500

Caitlin was sick this episode so it's just the three-cast. Three-peat. But mostly it is just a lot of Peter and his nonsense. Ramblin' and rantin' about bikes. Peter is the bully. Poor Katie. Address your emails to omnipotentchirp@gmail.com

We cover a couple of other things, like our friend Osama as well as this new game called Kronum that looks incredibly stupid.

In non-this-chirp news, Katie is in her new place and getting things set up. Proper internet coming, therefore proper chirps. More chirps. Better chirps. Faster chirps. Biking chirps (except for Peter who will be walking or zoom zoom zoomin' in his car).

Some Sort of Innard

Thu, 31 Mar 2011 01:12:43 -0500

We hope you're having a good time, whatever you're pickin', whatever you're sellin'.

The Worst Memory Ever

Wed, 26 Jan 2011 23:06:39 -0600

It's a new year and we are fucking BACK BABY. It's time for a new chirp. I even tried to do some updating of the website, which was fucking painful. Drupal. Jeez. I mean, It's not like it is that bad, but it is really frustrating mostly because I totally effed the install and setup the first time around. If I had done that properly, then actually things would be great and super smooth, and super cool. But instead they super suck.

Anyway, so we're back, and we're talking about all sorts of stuff, as usual. We have a very special guest in the "office" with us, Mr. Tim Farrell himself, back after quite a long time. He's actually pretty relaxed. And this is actually a two-part episode, in a lot of ways.

We come up with a new campaign for Tom's of Maine, the deodorant that doesn't deodorize. Then we riff on some topics for a while, and Peter stumbles all over his soundboard again. We were having some serious problems with Skype again as usual. Tim tries to "hit the post" and misses.

We also spend an inordinate amount of time talking about XHAMSTER.

We're looking forward to a brand new year with hopefully a bunch of content, although the start of the year is going to be a little rocky as a lot of people are busy (not Peter, he lives in Michigan).

Also, Katie debuts a brand new theme.

Check out the Omnipotentchirpcast and our website, and tell your friends, and email us, and just in general GET IN CONTACT WITH US AND HELP US GET SOME MORE LISTENERS. WE JUST WANT TO SHARE OUR INSANITY. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!

PS WE LOVE YOU

Four Chirps and a Taco

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 00:02:25 -0600

Hey everyone, hope you brought your cowboy boots to this here Episode 55 of the Omnipotent Chirp Podcast, cause we've got Brad Bollner in the studio, straight from Texas's Number 1 podcast, Five Tacos and a Taco. Maybe you've heard of it, because it's pretty popular outside of Texas too--I think Top 5 in most states and a few countries, but I'm not sure because Steve Jobs keeps the numbers on all that and you know how much he loves secrets!
We kick off the episode with some talk about some weird movie that I guess took place in space with phasers and Chewbaccas, and how that relates to a show from right here on Earth called Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction? We've also got games, games, games for you tonight, featuring Chirp Trivia and a game called Hot Dog or Hamburger. If you're not familiar, you will probably want to take some notes so you can play it at your next party and find out who is your friend and who you should probably kick out of your house right now.

If you're not satisfied with the extent of our Beyond Belief discussion in the first few minutes, don't worry, because we are bringing it back, and you won't BELIEVE what Uncle Mike did this time! Literally, you will probably not believe it. But you will find it more plausible than the guy with a pharaoh stuck in his computer.

Thanks so much for listening and please email us at omnipotentchirp@gmail.com and check out Five Tacos and a Taco on iTunes if you haven't already!

VideoChirp: Tim's Breakfast

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 19:00:03 -0600

Sit down and get comfortable, we're secretly recording Tim while he eats breakfast!

Go Blue!

Tue, 23 Nov 2010 21:00:26 -0600

Honestly I haven't even watched this one yet, but from what I'm told we talk about all sorts of things including what's going on RIGHT NOW in Michigan, Deb Kaufman, Bright Star and how much Katie loves romance and romantic Keats movies, plane travel, eating sea urchin, and California. Katie also notes there is something called "Curious George Horrors" I have no recollection of that even being discussed. So let's just assume it is NSFW, although it very well may not be.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Special chirp video coming at the end of the week!

Just Let Me Know That You're Watching

Tue, 26 Oct 2010 21:00:05 -0500

Quick heads-up before the heads-up: this is our first all-skype podcast, which we had to do out of necessity this week. We know the sound isn't the best, and that's because the sync didn't really work. We will not let you down again - proper sound quality will resume with our next podcast.

HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE LONGEST CHIRP EVER. I know, that doesn't actually sound that promising, I'm sure. "My ride in the morning is twenty minutes, jeez!" "I walk to work!" "I listen on a hand-cranked radio, I can't crank for 48 minutes!" - well listen, I know, it's a little long. But here's the thing, Katie is off on a massive vacation so we are going to be out of commission until about mid-november most likely, so rather than splitting into two episodes Katie opted to just give you one big plump podcast. So settle down, pour yourself a nice beer (can I suggest the Great Divide Yeti Imperial Stout?), turn on the fire, take off your pants, and listen to the chirp.

I mention this only because I feel like the norm for podcasts these days is somewhere around 4 hours, which is ridiculous. We value your time, dear listener! WE FUCKING LOVE YOU! We would, and I'm being serious here, take you into the supply closet over there and make absolutely gorgeous love on you.

Anyway, in this episode we're talking about all sorts of things. I am struggling to remember exactly what they are at the moment, but hell you don't want it all spoiled here, right? There is an Ann Arbor update in there, for everyone who is waiting on pins and needles for news from the Great Lakes State. We also talk about New York Times Poets. Yeah, I didn't know that was a thing either.

The Saddest New York Minute

Mon, 11 Oct 2010 21:54:51 -0500

We follow-up on some important topics from the previous episode, including what's going on in NYC these days a crazy fellow who used to live underneath and above Tim and Caitlin at their old apartment.

Toothless Bumpkins

Tue, 28 Sep 2010 18:49:59 -0500

Jenks, the South, Frog follow-up emails, and closing out the season of Masterchef. Also, Tim talks to us about who really watches MTV and the nightmare he had at home with his XBox. Thumbs up if you like it! Thumbs up if you think it's cool!

A Tiny Smidge of Poo

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 15:32:14 -0500

This episode we get a special guest in via a program called Skype. We also talk about Caitlin's recent cruise, Masterchef, the Shatner show Aftermath, and review a couple fan emails. And unsurprisingly, frogs come up yet again.

Frogged

Wed, 11 Aug 2010 09:12:46 -0500

This week we're talking about Frogs. Don't know what a frog is? You will.

Leaching, Pizzerieas, The Mighty Ducks, and even more coming to you this week in what is a very special episode. Things are changing around here at the Chirp but we're hoping that we're going to come out the other side of this strange worm hole even better than ever. Like how Deep Space Nine went through the worm hole and came out on the other side as a better show, one that didn't EXIST. Deep Space Nine was pretty boring.

See You Next Tuesday

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 22:26:23 -0500

This week we're talking about Harry Potter again, of course, we're talking about iDosing (OHMAHGAWD) and Caitlin's upcoming trip to the Bermuda triangle. We haven't posted in a while but things are pretty busy and we've had a tough time finding the time we need to produce the chirp for you, our loyal listeners.

But fear not, new episodes, besides this one that you're hopefully enjoying right now, will be on their way very soon.

In the morning.

PRODUCTION NOTE: We discuss how good the cover art is in this episode, and yeah we have some better art coming in 49. But Peter is moving and he is too busy and/or lazy to change it for this week. So just deal. Maybe we're being ironic. Discussing how mind-blowing we are when we aren't blowing any minds at all. Holy hell.

The Luckiest Man in Hogwarts

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 23:27:45 -0500

Ah! Why's this hot bean bag in my lap??

This week we're chatting all sorts of stuff. Soccer, Harry Potter, Middle School Memories, pretty much everything that you know and love. Katie updates on a KISS from a few episodes ago, and then we get into the nitty gritty: Bros Icin' Bros. As usual we are just ON TOP of trends as they are breaking.

We'll let you know about what's happening in the world of kidnapping, and talk about a cool new ride at Universal Studios that Tim and Caitlin are going to visit at some point, if they're allowed on to the ride with the rest of the nerds. We touch briefly on soccer, but focus on the ball boys at Wimbledon, because we know how many of our fans are serious tennis folk.

ChirpMini: A Very Sad Period In My Life

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 15:01:24 -0500

Xander's just a better Chandler!!!

Babies

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 22:30:49 -0500

"If the theme of Beastly is that you have to love what's on the inside, why does the girl still have to be hot?"

Omnipotentchip

Mon, 10 May 2010 21:16:24 -0500

"Oh look at meeeeeeeee I'm a lovely dying poeeeetttttt!! I'm dyinnggggg!!!"

ChirpMini: Jitterbug

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 21:31:30 -0500

A shitty, poor, white trash kid in Deer Park, New York

Man Versus Man Versus Wild

Tue, 27 Apr 2010 07:23:56 -0500

I call this one "The Rascal!"

Sorry for the extended hiatus guys - but good news the mother effin' Chirp is mother effin' back. We're a little under the weather and there's a lot of craziness happening with everyone but the important thing is that we are back in your earholes. And we're happy there. Thanks for having us. These cocktails are wonderful!

Those Glorious White Folk

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 22:05:13 -0600

Wait wait wait! I have something more to say about prawns!!

Kitty Angels

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 06:58:37 -0600

How many cats died making the movie The Adventures of Milo and Otis?

Sassy's Back

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 07:22:09 -0600

Where are the puppies now?

UmamiChirp

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 00:23:45 -0600

"Can I rub my boner against your unshaven legs?"

This week we are talking all sorts of stuff. We've been away a little while and frankly we've been hopped the heck up on energy drinks. Tim's been thinking A LOT about chain restaurants and he's going to tell us all about it. And if you thought that Peter was a little ridiculous with the talk about Moon Bases well... Apparently Tim and Caitlin's first date was at the Olive Garden??

Katie really likes Noodle Bowls.

We know everyone else has talked about Steven Segal but seriously this is the stupidest shit our country has produced. And we've produced a lot of stupid shit.

Also, the ID: Investigation Discovery network which makes no sense on ANY LEVEL and some other stuff. I think we are back on the horse with this one. Where baby at?

Baby right here, baby. Baby right here.

Sake Socks

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 01:58:13 -0600

This Moon Sucks

YOUTUBE VIDEO ---- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxM8CSNIZow

IT MIGHT HURT A LITTLE BIT
BUT ITS GONNA HELP A WHOLE LOT
MWWWWWWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Minus Two

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:06:49 -0600

Special Guest: Sister Slippy

This week we're without our arguably most important founding members! I say arguably only because I hear Motush is most popular on email, Twitter, the message boards, 4chan, etc so who can say... All I know is that if 4chan had their way it would just be a bevy of flash animated Motush soundboards storming the 'net this way and that.

This week we're without Tim and Caitlin, but Katie and Peter invite special guest Aria to fill in. She does so admirably. If only the same could be said for the two drunk bozos hosting...

That's Bush League, Brah!

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:06:20 -0600

Who gives a shit what his mouth is doing...

We're back! New episode! All the news that's fit to print and is at least three weeks old! Don't worry about it. We're keeping you up to date on everything from chips in your hands to the chips on your table. Peter's ranting about a lot of stuff, which is not so great, but luckily the rest of the gang is there to keep his nonsense at a minimum.

ChirpMini: Yahoo Answers II

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:38:13 -0500

I feel like gettin' buzzed before I go to sleep!

The Jiggle Pants Game

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 11:40:26 -0500

We came to chirp.

This week we chill out on the podcast with our friend Brad from Five Tacos and a Taco. It's Skype, so that's why it sounds like we are talking to someone on Skype. If Skype were a sponsor, I would have to disclose that I enjoy their fine product here, but they're not paying us a dime, so they can screw off.

Anyway, we're all over the board today, chatting states, Hadron Collider, a bit of sports (sorry), video games, and the future of the podcast via Tim and Caitlin's relationship. Chirp on.

Tiny Hands

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 11:56:58 -0500

Hey dudes, can you tell me more about the pancake machine?

Late Night, Brooklyn. This week we're up all night, recording the Chirp on a SCHOOL NIGHT for you guys, our best pals. We're all over the fucking MAP this week, dropping names and dropping laughs like Chris and Snoop be droppin' bodies, yo. Blame it on the wee hours of the evening, blame it on the cold weather sweeping in this way, blame it on the al-al-al-al-alcohol if you MUST. We're chatting Giada DeLaurentis, machines that sort and stack pancakes, the Brits, politics, Tim's future, periods.... you know, the USUAL.

Kiss n' Smash: Fall Movies

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 23:54:52 -0500

Find your tribe!!

Fall movies are on their way. It's a major time for the studios and for fans of the cinema in general. We hear at the chirp decided to use this as an opportunity to bring back our KISS N' SMASH feature where we give some movies a gentle, tender kiss and SMASH others like Katie does butterflies. That's just how it is here at the chirp. Feel free to disagree with our analysis, and let us know in the comments or by email.

Wu Tang Is For The Children

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:27:45 -0500

Did you seeeeeee??? I KNNOOOOOWWWWWWWW. ULTIMATE HOMAGE!

ChirpMini: C Clams

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 10:21:19 -0500

No podcast this week so we have an outtake from the Christmas episode. The Christmas episode that will never be released. We're sorry. We'll be back next week with some new stuff.

The Fireman

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 22:31:04 -0500

Did you try turning off the computer and turning it back on again?

HERE WE GO CHIRPERS, it's all over you like THE FIREMAN. Put on your firefighter helmet and kick in the door, we're doing it.

I'll be honest with you, we're all over the place this week, so consider it a potpurri show. The kind of potpurri that your grandmother has in the bathroom. It's a little weird at first but then you are kinda in to it. And now that you're thinking about it you kind of miss it. And you definitely miss your grandmother.

SPOILER ALERT: We talk about "The Staircase" in this episode. If you have heard of this documentary and are interested in seeing it beware that we do talk about the end of the case at the beginning of the episode. So if it's a concern, just skip from 5:45 to 10:10 or so. If you're only on the fence about the whole thing, don't worry about it just plow on ahead buddy, we gonna catch you if you jump out that window... catch you right here on our fireman trampoline thing. So go for it.

This week we talk also chat about Madden Nation, one of the greatest shows that you can watch when you are stuck awake at 3 in the morning. They say it is on Thursdays at 11:30 on ESPN2 but that's just never actually the case. 3am, trust me.

Trade a Love So Pure for a Hate So Blind

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:36:29 -0500

Ahhhh... they move so dumb!

This week we're talking about the shitty jobs we've had along the way to our favorite job - recording a podcast for YOU. We talk chicken wings, shoes, hot dogs, hot dog walls, crazy racists, cheesesteaks, and weird mob tie-ins. Why have we had so many jobss in the food industry? We need to get out in the sun more, for real.

Here is the money that I owe you:

I know we will never look back.

ChirpMini: Thanks for the Handy

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 21:09:58 -0500

I lacked to wash my hands, but I did touch a lot of other stuff...

Ken Burns Presents: The Oat Bin

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 08:14:58 -0500

My dad's nickname used to be billy goat...

Mike From Friends

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 22:28:11 -0500

Baby I hear the blues are calling... tossed salad and scrambled eggs...

Special Guest: Tim Farrell

--

I don't like Frasier!

OH NO!

I LOVE IT!

We're chatting about dick socks, Obama getting a drag, Frasier, The West Wing, Student Filmmaking, all that good stuff.

Catcast

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:32:57 -0500

Where my birds at??

This episode, we watch Ryan Reynolds with one hand. Ughhhhhh...

Hey Derek!!

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 08:08:22 -0500

Something just came to me while editing the podcast, regarding "draidel" theory. I think we had this idea that when we performed huge shows in arenas or whatnot, there a giant dreidel would come down from the ceiling that we would jump out of. I think there was more to it than that and I don't know why this was an idea, but that is all I remember.

STATE ELIMINATED!

I love it, ah...

Secret Handjobs: The Podcast

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 21:58:15 -0500

What's your favorite someone playing someone playing them moment?

Wear It With Pride

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:55:30 -0500

I don't want them coming in here to do the podcast....

Next week is Listener Appreciation Week, so please send us your emails.

THIS WEEK =

PEURTO RICAN DAY

THE PUCK WAS DROPPED / THE CUP WAS LIFTED

THE METS FUCKING SUCK

REDI???? SET -> GO!

Slingin' Cream

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 09:12:16 -0500

Why did they make Tinkerbell a crack whore?

Fairy vs Slut vs Faerie vs Craft Fair(y)

Jimmy! Didja Crap Yo'self?

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 23:46:46 -0500

He should turn his legs into cyborg legs and USB the right steps into them...

ChirpMini: Too Much Milk

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 23:29:22 -0500

FootXXX: Is it foot porn??

Manswers

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 06:10:20 -0500

That's how you end up the pool slut...

Y'all Don't Know About Peace Frog!??!

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 01:44:29 -0500

Replace "doing stuff" with "sitting on your couch."

Masturbating Like A Madman

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 23:44:03 -0600

Did his pants come off too?

ChirpMini: Hey, Hakuna Matata Man!

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 10:10:06 -0600

Whoop! There it is! On Fox 5!

The Unveiling of a Two-Story Penis

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 23:49:19 -0600

Everything you need to make a penis...

Guests: Frank & Kellan & Aria

Chillcast

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 01:04:04 -0600

Let us watch you sleep... we'll keep an eye out for you.

ChirpMini: The Little Whore Dog

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 01:09:28 -0600

Sassy can't keep her legs shut...

All Aboard!!

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 00:41:01 -0600

Who are all these parents that want to sit with their kids?

ChirpMini: Bikini-Cut

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 00:12:11 -0600

How can I hug you??

It's Something that Sounds Worse than Pneumonia

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 00:31:41 -0600

Call up your Ex-Girlfriend.... AND TELL HER YOU STILL LOVE HER!!!

VideoChirp: Just Fabulous

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 21:15:44 -0600

The ULTIMATE Girls Party

ChirpMini: A Heartwarming Coke Moment

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 12:45:12 -0600

I want to ride Medusa again.

Whatever!

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 02:58:12 -0600

Singing the chestnut song.

Craigslisp

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 07:25:12 -0600

It keeps the tease on.

Ya Donut!!

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:25:12 -0600

I totally slayed her.

ChirpMini: Smash It With A Shoe

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 13:25:12 -0600

You're all terrible people, do you know that?!

Dadcast

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 21:25:12 -0600

It sounds crazy but then you do it and it's the most fun thing you've ever done.

ChirpMini: Goofus is the Coolest

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 12:25:12 -0600

You all are hearing the truth for the first time, right now.

What is this, '98?

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 22:25:44 -0600

That's what I thought it was going to be like!!

Yellow McNuggets

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:22:44 -0600

I think the whole world should rally around the blob chicken movement.

ChirpMini: The Turtle Part

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 23:20:44 -0500

You're killing me!

Happy Birthday Loser

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 00:45:44 -0500

The thing about the menu is that they try but they don't try. So they're tryying to make it spooky by saying, like, "This is the Frankenstein burger." It's lik, "Oh, cool, you have a Frankenstein burger. Well, what's on the Frankenstein burger?" "Mushroom, cheese. Bacon." What does that to do with Frankenstein? I don't know! But that's the Frankenstein burger. It's spooky because it has mushrooms and cheese and bacon on it.

VideoChirp: How To Chirp

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 23:25:44 -0500

Have you ever heard of a podcast? No!? Well let me tell you about podcasts!

ChirpMini: Shame Spiral

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 00:25:44 -0500

They brought in a caricature artist?

Shamecast

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 00:15:44 -0500

Were you wearing strap-on sports goggles?

They're Soy-Fed

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 23:44:44 -0500

Coming off a triple, having a cigarette.

ChirpMini: It Was A Butt Problem

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 01:21:58 -0500

Legs like a 30 year-old trophy wife.

Anyone Get Caught Making Out in the Lunar Lander?

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 01:14:45 -0500

Space Soda!

ChirpMini: Strawberry Shortcake, In A Cup, Thanks?

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 01:13:45 -0500

Someone better tell that kid to shut up!

The Beautiful Awkwardness that Follows

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 21:45:43 -0500

I played trombone in a ska band.

ChirpMini: My Trip to the Strip Club

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 01:27:17 -0500

Peter only enjoyed it ironically.

SkiiinnnyyyyBaaaaaaaattcchh

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 11:09:14 -0500

She sees the hat but she doesn't want to touch it.

The Pepsi Challenge

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 08:47:09 -0500

Maybe it's time for an intervention

Sham and a Hellbeast

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 04:38:55 -0500

DEBUT OF DA CHIRP