a rainbow over my shoulder

act VS react

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:25:00 +0000

ACTING is very different from REACTING. The dictionary defines acting as "false behavior; pretense", while it defines reacting as " a response to some foregoing action or stimulus".

Personally, I think that reacting has traces on genuineness in it, whereas acting may have none. When caught off guard, people's reactions give away their true emotions or thoughts; maybe even clues to some big secret they're hiding. When one acts, however, the brain takes over and there is a filtering of actions. the In simpler terms, you think when you act, but don't think when you react.

This is where the slight overlap between acting and reacting comes in - a person chooses how to react to a particular situation. For example, if a happy Broadway actress is given a melancholic scene, she controls her actions and reactions based on what her character calls for in a particular scene. Ordinary people, on the other hand, merely react; oftentimes very carelessly and impulsively.

When crushes are involved, a girl should work on acting if she doesn't want to be so obvious. Instead of just reacting towards teasing and hot seat questions. "Act normally around your crush", they say, and they used the word "act" correctly since acting usually conveys an opposite reaction to one's current state. I mean, how the heck are you supposed to hide that you like someone without acting when you feel all giddy and gay inside? Act then. Act normally.

As for me, I should probably work on my acting so that my reactions won't give me away all the time. I suck at that. A lot. If I had had gotten my acting right a little earlier, my guts wouldn't be curled up in embarrassment like they are now :|

value | value. | value?

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 14:51:00 +0000

Some things don't need to be put into long sentences for one to understand their value.

Trust

Honesty

Friendship

Thanks

Sorry

Easily understood, and sometimes it takes just that one word alone to hit you harder than a baseball bat. No sentences, no phrases. Just words.

The thing is, not everyone knows the true value of these words, leaving others questioning their value as well. To make matters worse, they complicate things by turning simple words into one-word sentences.

Trust.

Honesty.

Friendship.

Thanks?

Sorry?

My point?

In our lives, we will always encounter people who will leave us questioning things we value - be it a hobby, a sport, a childhood dream, a friend, or plainly something (or someone) you value. All these words suddenly have punctuation marks where there clearly should be none: Trust, Honesty and Friendship given period signifying their end; Thanks and Sorry questioned for their sincerity.

None of these words should be harder to understand than supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, but a lot of times, that's how they seem - complicated. It's sad. And real. And probably give us the heaviest feelings. Ever.

So a lesson to everyone: let's NOT complicate our lives by doing things that will leave others questioning our character.

If you are trusted, keep the secret, well, secret.

Honesty always has been the best policy.

Not many good friends come by - don't take it for granted.

Thanks - pure, unsarcastic, roll-eyes-free.

If you say sorry, mean it.

just because i wanted to blog

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 21:00:00 +0000

Nothing creative, everything simply said. I just miss blogging. Been really caught up with all these to-dos for school, Church, and Insti. I'm working on my thesis proposal, I have 2 more tests, and a paper plus report due this week; I have 2 callings at Church (Young Women teacher for Beehive and Young Women Secretary), and I'm co-directing a play for Insti, but I'm not complaining -- well, maybe just my HECUSOC subject which is a bigger hassle than my thesis, but other than that, I'm good.

I just want to get this week over and done with. 2 days. Just 2 more days. Hang in there, Jenn! Kaya 'to!

I'll blog longer after this week of non-stop work is over. Gosh I miss blogging.

move on

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Tue, 18 May 2010 16:43:00 +0000

This is going be short...

NOT. AGAIN.

Why does this ALWAYS happen? But my friends are right, I should have expected it anyway. Bakit ba ako sobrang naaapektuhan? It's probably not the person naman, but my huge lack of good judgment. Oh. my. gosh.

I'm not mad, promise. I just feel bad. Everything's starting to sink in pa lang.

The truth can be a huge slap in the face, and a lot of times, there's not much you can do about it but move on.

(sorry for the vague choice of words)

my president

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Tue, 11 May 2010 20:13:00 +0000

I can't sleep. The reason? I can't get over the results of the 2010 elections.

***

Dick Gordon’s Post Election Statement

I would like to congratulate Sen. Aquino for his spectacular victory. I call upon this nation to unite and support him.

I would like to thank everyone who supported me especially my volunteers and those who gave up their limited resources as a manifestation of trust in my brand of leadership and track record.

I ran a very truthful, straightforward and candid campaign and thought we could run on the basis of our platform, track record and volunteerism.

I would like to congratulate all the winners and pray that they serve our country well.

We accept the will of the people.

Today, we have a victory for democracy with the successful exercise of our first nationwide automated election despite naysayers and doubters.

The fight for this country goes beyond this day. Let us forge on in building a Bagumbayan for our people.

***

I honestly can't believe how affected I am by the elections considering I've never really cared much about politics and I rarely know what's going on in my own country. I'm clueless about even the most popular issues. The campaigning and the actual elections this year changed that for me though.

I'm not going to explain my sudden enlightenment, right now I just want to say that... Well... I feel bad. No, that's not enough. Truth is, I'm on the brink of crying. All the anger has passed but the tears are still welling in my eyes...

As I said in an earlier entry, Dick Gordon has my vote. I'm no fan of politics, but I don't need to be an expert to know that Dick Gordon is precisely what the Philippines needs. It's just so disappointing to think the people chose to place popularity over platform; who they want over who they need.

click HERE for larger view

It's heartbreaking to see how a really qualified man is an underdog in this important race that determines, to a great extent might I add, the future of our country. I mean, look at those credentials. What more could you ask for? He is, without question, the best man for the position.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Noynoy. I'm not in the position to judge him as he hasn't started his term yet. I just think Gordon could have given the Filipinos the change they needed, but I guess we are not ready for that just yet...

On the up side, there have not been reports about cheating with the ballot counts. The number of total voters has gone up as well. The elections were fair and productive, so congrats to us for a clean election.

It might be a little late for this, but...

At hindi magbabago 'yon.

I waited in line for 4 hours and 30 minutes to vote for my president. That's 4 hours and 30 minutes well spent. Pinaglaban ko ang taong alam kong makakapagpabuti ng kalagayan ng bansa ko. I know I made the right decision, and for that I have no regrets.

Mr. Gordon, thank you so much for offering the Philippines quality leadership. You have shown me that I can keep believing that there is hope for the Philippines, thanks to leaders like you. It might not be our time yet, but it will come someday. I still believe in you. Please run in 2016, let's make it happen then.

Saludo ako sa 'yo, Dick Gordon.

*is now crying...*

day 10 of 18

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Wed, 05 May 2010 16:00:00 +0000

First, I want to express how very, very happy I am that our class did SO MUCH better than we did last Saturday! To quote teacher Jenny, "You guys actually sound good! Don't you hear yourselves?". I thought she was just saying that but after playing Rita's recording of our song, I was stunned! We really did sound good! We still need to work on a few parts though. Still, we proved today that we can pull it off. Our instructor, Kuya Jay (Pangilinan), told us during dinner that he was unsure about our singing Look Down, Lord considering it was advanced work. However after tonight's practice, he said kaya namin. Yay! Teacher Red was right when he said "You guys are gonna sound great!". It feels great to know that we are improving. I'm so proud of everyone for doing a terrific job. Happy, happy, happy :D Let's do this MTA!

Second, our playbill, photo&video, and shirt plans are actually moving. Kate, Cy, Aly, and I talked about it and now these plans are not just abstract ideas. Have to finalize everything by the end of the week though, we only have 2 weeks left (*sigh* almost over already? :'c).

Third, Wee Winners. OHMYGOSH JACKLYN BELOOOO! T.T Basta. Happened over dinner. Secret's out, yun na lang. waaah~ Actually, it didn't bother me that much a while ago, but now I'm starting to worry.

Jacky again for this exchange of words after her chicken was taken away though she wasn't finished with it yet:

Rodney: Okay lang yan, leg lang naman yun eh.

Jacky: Hindi ah!
Rodney: Anong part ba yun?!

Jacky: DRUMSTICK!

Okay, so magkaiba pala ang leg at drumstick ayon kay JackyTian. HAHA.

Fourth, I want to say sorry to my dad because I got him worried that I came home at 11:30... Sorry, daddy... And thank you for entrusting me with the car today. My dad let me drive to The Podium. It's the farthest I've gone since I started driving. Need to work on my parking.

day 8 of 18

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 15:35:00 +0000

We got our song assignments today! I was right about my guess on my singing passover. I got Javi's and Ally's, and one of Renan's songs right too. That's... 4 of 20 song assignments correct! hahaha! Anyway, here are the song assignments and the order if their performance:

Look Down, Lord: All
Bluer Than You: Gift, Jacky, Ally
My Eyes: Razam, Nikki
Passover: Jacky, Gift, me, Cy
Holding to the Ground: Anj
My Dogs: Jaycee, Javi
When the Earth Stopped: Renan, Mollie
Unlikely Lovers: Renan, Razam, Rita, Mitch
Move On: Phoebe, Rodney
Anytime (I Am There): All

Wee winners: CYRENE BOONGALING I HATE YOU! :)) Pero it na yung totoo: winner ang talent niya sa drawing. She drew Razam's picture, and it looks exactly like him! Ang galing galing! *clap clap*

Okay, my blogs are getting shorter. I'm getting a little sleepy so maybe I'll just edit this tomorrow. Or not. haha... Good night!

day 7 of 18

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 16:33:00 +0000

Not much happened today, actually. We did the usual body, breathing, and vocal exercises then proceeded to learning our opening number, Look Down Lord. After that, class dismissed. I missed dinner with my classmates tonight because my mom and dad picked me up. I had dinner with them just once pa lang, but I know I'll be missing a lot whenever I do. BUT! My dad gave me permission just tonight to drive to The Podium, so that means I can have dinner with my classmates without having to worry about my dad's waiting time. Yay! :) I think I'll be taking a cab on Friday though; just to make sure I have my directions right. OH and Kuya Red wasn't around, so we had a sub - Ate Bea (so there were 2 Jennifers and 2 Beas in the room, funny).

Wee winners: Rita for the Gordon ballers! "GORDON FOR PRESIDENT. Pagbabago. Sigurado." Gordon's the REAL competition to any other presidential candidate based on credentials. If you put a list of things he has done for the Philippines next to lists of the other candidates, there is no competition. None at all! Take note, however, that this is based on credentials. Gordon's a bit of the underdog in the running for president, but if he were just as popular as the other candidates, the Philippines would know it's next president a month before the actual elections (maybe even earlier). Gordon is an amazing leader. I have complete confidence in him. He has my vote. I hope the Philippines would place credentials over popularity this coming 2010 elections.

Wow, I can't believe that I have more to say about Gordon than my day in Trumpets. haha...

Moving on, I've been listening to the songs we'll be singing for our play in May 22. 4 songs from Elegies, 2 from Falsettoland, 1 from Rosewood, 1 from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, 1 from A... My Name Is Alice, and 1 from Sunday in the Park with George.

We've been guessing who will sing who will sing what too. The first is surely a chorus song, we've already been practicing the voicing. The last might be a chorus song too. Here are my guesses:

Look Down, Lord: ALL

Passover: Jacky, Gift

Unlikely Lovers: Rodney, Mollie, Razam, Cy (pero not in the context of the original song)

Holding to the Ground: Phoebe

My Eyes: Jaycee, Bea

My Dogs: Javi (I'm pretty sure of this one! HAHA)

When the Earth Stopped: Renan, Rita

Bluer Than You: Kate, Nikki, Aly

Move On: Anj, Mitch

Anytime (I Am There): all

Which leaves me with... HA, I DUNNO :)) I think I know where my voice would fit in, but I'll keep it to myself for the moment. Ayokong mapahiya. haha! These are just my personal hunches ah, let's see how many I got right. I'm really excited to find out who will sing what! Whoever will get song #2 needs a really, really, quick shift in vocals from song #1. And the two who will get song #5 have the most catchy song in the whole play! Let's keep our fingers crossed, classmates!

day 5 of 18

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 14:53:00 +0000

This is definitely, by far, THE BEST day at Playshop ever! I'm actually kinda high (on chocolate) at the moment, so I'm warning you now about my overuse of "hahaha" in this entry. hahaha!

The evening started off with the pictorial. I thought I was going to be late actually. I had no idea that leaving the house just 15 minutes later would spell the difference between getting to The Podium in 15 minutes and waiting for more than 15 minutes for a cab that doesn't have traffic issue. Anyway. We all wore black for the shoot. 4 poses for each of us. I had fun actually, but I would have liked it if Ate Jenny and Kuya Red joined the group pic. Aww.

We did breathing exercises first then moved on to vocal exercises using Speech Level Singing (by Seth Riggs, if I'm not mistaken). We did just the first 4 exercises with the lip and tongue rolling. Ang hirap! Felt kinda light-headed after, but I think it's because I did it right. haha

THEN THE FUN BIT! The remaining singers! OH MY GOSH WINNER PERFORMANCES THIS EVENING! First off was Renan who made me, Rita, Mollie, Cy, and Gift laugh so (silently?) hard! It was actually supposed to be serious, but it was tough to refrain myself from laughing after the method of suicide in his scene was a triple kill - poisoning, hanging, then shooting himself! HAHAHA ika nga ni Cy "Sigurista siya!" HAHAHA! Then of course the lovely Phoebe with her class A performance! Terrific singing, Phoebs! Then... *drum roll* Jacky! Honestly, Jacky kinda has this effect on me that every time she performs, I brace myself to laugh out loud. She did as expected! HAHA. Hands down ako sa pagkacrush niya kay Christian Bautista, sobrang benta! Her winning line from the song: "Together we'll be the greatest team there's even been...Christian! Dreams the way we plan 'em, if we work in tandem!" HAHAHA! Jacyee came next with the song My Junk from Spring Awakening which he incorporated into troubles with diarrhea or LBM. And in the end he discovers there was no tissue in the cubicle he entered. EPIC FAIL! HAHAHA! Indeed, the best was saved for last! XD

Wee winners: OHMYGOSH RENAN REGENCIA FOR COINING "PHOEBE JAMORA" and JACKLYN BELO FOR INCORPORATING CHRISTIAN BAUTISTA INTO DEFYING GRAVITY! HAHAHAHAHA :))

Oh! I was finally able to see the Sugarfree video that teacher Jenny appeared in. The video was directed by her sister. Teacher Jenny's dance was so funny! Cy and I know the steps already and are planning to do them for Silly Dilly. HAHA. Here's the video:

Speaking of Silly Dilly, I was actually looking forward to it a while ago, but we didn't play anymore because of the lack of time. The pictorial ate up a lot of our time kasi. I'm feeling sooooo hyper today. I've been jumping and laughing and singing and dancing like... Like... Like I weren't me at all! I wish things would be like this all the time so I wouldn't be so shy.

Have a lot to think about for my homework, this is huge! My character's name will definitely be Nancy though. Ta-ta~

day 4 of 18

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 12:11:00 +0000

Silly Dilly got me again, I was to shy to join today. Even when everyone was going in at the same time and Kuya Red was talking me into just letting go, I couldn't. Why is it so hard to act silly in front of my classmates who are doing the same thing anyway? :(

Anyway. We played tag again, The Blob style (naadapa pa sina Jacky at Mitch). Then we did vocal exercises and the best part, massages to fix our posture! It was at this time I really wished Rita, the master masseuse, was my partner! haha...

Performance time came next. My classmates said I did much better than last time, so I should believe I did, right? haha... I think it was a lot better than last time, plus I got my nerves down a lot. Still kinda shaky, but there was improvement. At last! It was a huge help that there was a dialog and not just singing, the acting part helped me keep my act together. Teacher Jenny also said what I was trying to show happened before the scene was very clear. I kinda regret taking too long to calm down though because of everything she said, that's all I remembered. haha... And si... Ay wag na lang, baka may makabasa. Saka na lang when Playshop's over. HAHAHA

Wee winners: Aly and Nikki for joining MTA, welcome newcomers! Jacky again for saying "Uy nandito si Christian!" when flyers for Playshop Idol were given out. HAHA. Rodney for starting the picture taking! Yay :D And Kuya Red for taking this picture :)

I love them na :)

AND! I saw someone too. heehee~

days 2 & 3 of 18

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 15:22:00 +0000

Day 2's highlight was definitely the singing. The order of performances was determined through draw lots. I was saying "I don't want to be first" over and over, then later on when the names were starting to disappear -- "OH NO I don't want to be last!". Yeah I said I didn't want to go first, but I didn't want to be last either. waaah~ My choice of song was My Favorite Things from The Sound of Music. OHMYGOSH both my body and my voice were shaky the whole time. AS IN. I know I could have done better if I weren't so tense about it. Gah. It took time for me to stand up after the whole thing actually, and I almost slammed into Bea after I sang. I hate how I I have an extremely difficult time controlling my nerves :| At least my performance wasn't foul. Everyone did well too, so congrats to us! :)

Aside from the singing, we had our usual "play time". Our games were super fun and I felt ridiculous right after, but it felt good!

We were paired in twos for the first game. I was paired with Jacky. For the 1st round, we were supposed to just say "no" to whatever the partner offers, but for the 2nd round, we say "yes and..." plus our own inputs. Jacky and I started with shopping which later on led to the creation of our own society of alien robots in outer space. And, according to Jacky, we all die after. hahaha!

In the second game, we were just supposed to say the first thing that came into mind based on what the previous person in the circle said. There was a trend about rats, and honestly, I remembered Rattata from Pokémon, so I said "Pokémon". Shucks, Pokémon coming from a 20-year-old. haaay :))

Wee winners: Ang galing mag-massage ni Rita! She's my favorite masseuse ever :D

Day 3. Super inatake ako ng shyness. I didn't even join Silly Dilly. The theme was super heroes, and I could.not.act.silly. (T.T) The last activity caught me off guard, too. I had a hard time thinking of a way to incorporate even just two lines of the song of our choice into the scene on how we packed the bag. The scene I acted was being too still to sleepy to pack the bag because it was too early in the morning. I had a hard time thinking of how to incorporate a jolly song like "My Favorite Things" into a scene showing the opposite mood. I realized just now that I could have used sarcasm. Should have thought of it earlier.

Anyway. We sing again on Wednesday! This time, we are supposed to make a whole scene that will affect the way we sing the song. I have an idea in mind already, let me see if I can pull it off.

Wee winners: Rodney gave out the directories that are the size of our IDs. Cute! Jacky's scenes were hilarious, too! There are 3 of them actually (I'm actually laughing as I type just remembering what she did). First during the heroes game, she said she was Booba with the matching actions! Then there was when she packed the bag hurriedly and she took some vitamins pa. Everyone was guessing she was stabbed or something, and personally I thought she had appendicitis, then after the scene she said she acted like she had dysmenorrhea! HAHA Grabeng dysmenorrhea yun promise, funny! :)) And her song choice was "Defying Gravity", and the lines she said were "Something had changed within me, something is not the same!" HAHAHAHAHA IloveyouJacky! =))

I have tomorrow, Monday, and Tuesday to prepare my song. Wish me luck!

day 1 of 18

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 15:30:00 +0000

Finally! I found time to update my blog! I finished my LAST paper for the term today. Just one more exam to go this Friday before I can declare myself on vacation mode! WOOHOO!

Despite of my still ongoing finals week, summer has started early for me. I enrolled in Trumpets' Playshop. It's something that I have always wanted to do since high school actually. I took voice lessons in 1st year, planned to enroll in street dancing in 2nd year, theater in 3rd, and musical theater in 4th. My plans changed when I started taekwondo in 1st year though. Taekwondo won me over for the remainder of my high school years. After 6 years, I finally have time to squeeze this in my schedule.

Playshop 2010's promotional poster

I enrolled in Musical Theater for Adults. The teacher is Jenny Jamora with Red Concepcion as assistant teacher. Both of them are known theater artists in the Philippines. I've seen Kuya Red perform on West Side Story. I know the class will learn a lot from both of them.

Our class isn't big at all. We're only 16, mostly girls. I've gotten acquainted with some of my classmates as well, they're all really fun. I see a lot of shy faces too, meaning I am not alone! hahaha! Let me write down their names (in the order of introduction of our first game) before I forget: Jovial Jenny and Ready Red (teachers), something Rodney, Annoying Anj, Radical Razam, Perky Phoebe, Magnificent Mitch, Mediocre Mollie, Creative Cy, Gifted Gift, Rapid Rita, Just Jackie, Romantic Renan, Jolly Javie, Kulot Kate, Jellybean JayCee, Bea (wasn't able to join the 1st game).

This meeting, we just played games to get to know each other. This Friday, however, WE SING. dundundun! I'm super shy pa naman to sing in front of crowds! This is gonna be a challenge. I enrolled hoping to be able to face this fear though, so bring it on! *crosses fingers*

We were also given our IDs. The teachers said we can't get inside without them. Of course being the neat freak that I am, I computerized the print plus the fancy text. My ID looks pretty now, definitely a stand-out! 'Wag nang itanong kung paano, basta trial and error. Mahabang trial and error. haha! And yes, I have bangs again. Why? heehee because I cut them too short (again), even the stylist said they were too short to style, so she cut them into full bangs insted. hahaha I don't think I'll ever learn :))

my OC-ized ID

Wee winners: Jacky for being honest about her expectation to meet Christian Bautista! :))

So things to worry about for Friday: my last exam (SOCIPSY), my song for Trumpets.
BED TIME! Night! :)

private... not!

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 03:06:00 +0000

I posted a note in Facebook last Tuesday which I set to be viewable to just me and a few well-trusted friends. We racked up a number of replies on it already. Then last night, I posted something on a friend's wall that was supposedly viewable to just the two of us.

When I logged in my brother's account that same night, however, I saw the post I just posted to my friend's wall a few minutes before I logged out. I deleted it hoping no one read it yet, and I just held my unreasonably crappy internet connection liable for not processing my privacy settings well.

Then this morning when I woke up, the first thing that entered my mind was the privacy settings issue I had last night and remembered the note I posted last Tuesday that made use of privacy settings. I rushed to my laptop and turned it on and when I logged in Facebook using my brother's account... Surprise, surprise! I saw the note I posted last Tuesday. *holds breath*

OH MY GOODNESS. I anticipated a panic attack at that very moment. The note was not supposed to be viewable to anyone else but the few friends I chose! What's up with the privacy settings?!

The paranoia. What if there were other people who saw it? Worse: what if the person in the note saw it?! Eh di alam na niyang crush ko siya. HE.MUST.NOT.KNOW! T.T

The positive uncertainty. Maybe he didn't read it. He probably doesn't check my wall anyway, so he might have not seen it. It might not even have appeared on his news feed, as the time I posted it is sort of the time when people are most active on Facebook. I hope so.

The pledge. DO NOT TRUST THE PRIVACY SETTINGS IN FACEBOOK IF IT'S A HIGHLY EXCLUSIVE STORY. That's what blogs are for. Only a few people read it, these few being really good friends.

From now on, no more posting secrets to Facebook.

too much smiling

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 07:14:00 +0000

I'm still smiling. Nangangawit na panga ko! haha! Someone slap me please? :))

As much as I'd hate to admit it, I can't hide from myself the fact that the mere thought of the guy kinda makes me... Smile :D A lot! I fell asleep last night with a smile on my face, and this morning when I woke up, he entered my mind and I didn't even find the need to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. More so, I've been doing things more enthusiastically, with a positive burst of energy too. Amazing. Feels greeeeeat!

I think I'm going nuts. hahaha

semi-crushing

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 05:43:00 +0000

I finally admitted to myself just last Friday that maybeee I really do like this guy. Well, sort of. I'm not sure yet actually (okay, I'm not making sense anymore). He was never someone I thought I could ever crush on because he's a friend, but I do know that there a lot of qualities about him that I like, but not the person who possesses these qualities. Why the sudden change then?

This all started as, guess what - A JOKE. Yes, a joke. Funny. I've been kidding around that I like this and that about him, then someone suddenly asked "Bakit di na lang siya yung crush mo?". I laughed it off actually, but when I got home, I thought about it and there. There was a weird, unexplainable feeling. The thought of me liking him made me laugh, but it made sense. A lot of it.

Didn't help that I've rediscovered how much I love the song, He Brought Me To You, either. I just watched Stardust too (and I regret not watching it on the big screen by the way) yesterday, and it left me all giddy inside. heehee~ The cheesiness - not helping. haha!

I told 3 friends about it because I could not contain myself any longer. Funny thing was they were able to tell who it was on the first try! I wonder what gave me away... Anyway. All three approve, but I don't think I want to agree just yet. We'll see, I mean.

How am I? I FEEL AWESOME! Funnier thing - I've been smiling excessively since last Wednesday and there really is no way to describe the feeling. I was starting to think pa naman na hindi na ako marunong kiligin. Wrong! haha! What makes the feeling better is that I'm not even thinking about the guy not liking me and all that. It's not a problem at all! If he likes me too, then great, but if he doesn't, it's all good. I'm just enjoying the feeling while it lasts and while it still matters, no expectations attached.

People do tend to overlook things that are already right in front of their eyes. That's the funniest thing of all - finally seeing the sense in something that once seemed vague and impossible. I've known this guy for a long time, but not once have I considered really liking him. Once you see past your biases and so-called "requirements" though, you'll see that you've been wasting time looking for something which you already had to begin with. Silly, right?

There's the semi-crushing state for you: funny and flighty; uncertain yet satisfying. Overall great feeling, definitely one to cherish..♥

the 3rd term curse

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:41:00 +0000

It's the middle of my last 3rd term in La Salle, and frankly, I'm glad that it'll be the last 3rd term I'll have to deal with. EVER. At around this time next year, I'll have graduated and will just be waiting for my visa so I can go to the Salt Lake with my parents. Just a month and a half left until it's over.

I'm glad that I'm nearly done with my undergrad degree, but even happier at the thought that 3rd term, specifically 3rd term, is almost over. Why? On top of the everyone-I-crush/ed-since-I-entered-college-is-gay curse, I also have a 3rd term curse. Every 3rd term since I entered college, I seem to have a problem with someone and a grueling battle with paranoia. No matter how smooth my relationships are with the person/s are in the 2nd term, something comes up out of the blue and leaves me in tears.

I can still feel the bitter pangs I had to endure in the past years, especially in 2007. Sadly, none of the broken ties were ever the same again... It was an org issue in my first year, a huge academic mistake in the second, complications with a significant other in the third, and now... It's starting. Something happened a few weeks back that has been resolved already, but there's another one in the making which I'm not even sure exists. See, the paranoia's getting to me already... It's awful to be in my shoes right now.

One thing I do realize out of all this is that I should keep my thoughts and my words to myself. Everything that happened to me could have been avoided if I did precisely that from the very start. I'm making the nightmare happen, so I'm the one who should prevent it from happening.

On the up side, IT'S ALMOST OVER. C'mon 1 month and a half, I can't wait!

gleek much?

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 15:52:00 +0000

Ohmygosh I can go *sings* "on and on and on and on" about how much I absolutely love Glee!♥ But I'll keep my fandom to myself, for now maybe. haha! The Gleekiness is fairly recent, but I caught on so quickly! *pauses blogging because a Glee song came on Star World*

I'm not up to the point that I eat, breathe, and dress Glee (well maybe not just yet), but I'm hooked on it enough to do this:

a buddypoke-ized Rachel Berry

whose outfit I copied from

this Rachel Berry outfit

Watcha say? Do they look alike? haha... My avatar's gonna stay that way for a looong time. ♥

What I like most about Glee is that the songs they used are arranged in a way that isn't forgettable and will give you a better or ever a new appreciation of the original versions of the songs. Glee's a real stand-out from all the other series I've watched. It doesn't stand-out just because the cast sings a song in every episode, it's also that it's real, so real that many situations throughout the series truly are experienced by a lot of people, especially by students trying to break-out of their shells. The characters, the struggles they face, and especially the friendships that get them through those struggles - everything real. It's a show anyone can relate to and find humor in as well.

And! Lea Michele's vocals are A++ AMAZING! She can sing anything! Her broadway songs are still the ones I love most though, especially Don't Rain on My Parade. I have 2 favorite Leas now, Lea Salonga-Chien and Lea Michele. Both great singers, both broadway babies, both inspirations for me to keep singing.

Whew enough of that for now! I still have a paper to finish. Last!

gleek.

If you don't watch Glee, then you should. Right now. haha! Okay that's enough, I'm gonna work on my paper for real now. Bye!

a letter from an unborn baby girl

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 04:43:00 +0000

I was looking through my old journal and I found this. I was brought to tears again, just like the first time I read it.

***

Dear Mommy,

I am in Heaven now, meeting my creator always.
He loves me abundantly.
I so wanted to be your little girl.
I don't quite understand what has happened.
I was so excited when I began realizing my existence.
I was in a dark, yet comfortable place.
I saw I had fingers and toes.
I was pretty far along in my developing,
yet not near ready to leave my surroundings.
I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.

Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.
Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you.
Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry.
I heard Daddy yelling back.
I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon.
I wondered why you cried so much.
One day you cried almost all of the day.
I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.

That same day, the most horrible thing happened.
A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in.
I was so scared. I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me.
Maybe you never heard me.
The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming
"Mommy, Mommy, help me please. Mommy, help me."

Complete terror is all I felt.
I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore.
Then the monster started ripping my arms off.
It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain.
It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.
I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.
Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying.

I knew I would never see your face
or hear you say how much you love me.
I wanted to make all your tears go away.
I had so many plans to make you happy.
Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered.

Though I was in utter pain and horror,
I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.
I wanted more than anything to be your daughter.
No use now, for I was dying a painful death.
I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you.
I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone,
but I didn't know the words you could understand.
And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.

I felt myself rising.
I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place.
I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.
The angel took me to God and He blessed me.
He said He loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy.
I asked Him what the thing was that killed me.
He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels."

I don't know what abortion is.
I guess that's the name of the monster who hated
my landing on earth as an innocent lovely kid.
I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you
how much I wanted to be your little girl.
I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live.
I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful.
It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me.
It was impossible to live.
I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you.
I didn't want to die.

But, mummy, I am totally happy here in God's abode
and I've plenty of friends to play with.
Only cheerful faces are visible here.
I shall wait here for you to join us.
Dear Mommy, God had told me that no SELFISH people should be here!
I have no doubt that my mommy was very nice
and I will recommend to God for you and loving Daddy.
Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you
and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did.
Please be careful.

Love, Your Baby Girl

***

I've always felt strongly against abortion. It's sad that people actually deprive those unborn kids of the chance to live. Personally, I wouldn't define abortion as just "expulsion of the human fetus prematurely" - that's too much. Simply put it, it's killing. Murder.

"One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak."
(via Tumblr).

To the mothers and the fathers out there, be prepared for a baby and all the responsibilities that come along with being a parent. Kids are blessings, please love them. Be grateful you're able to have kids as there are many couples out there who can't have kids of their own. Do not allow abortion. Do not allow, literally, a life to be wasted.

there really is no use crying over spilled milk

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 17:09:00 +0000

Aloha once again! I'm sorry, I broke my assurance of regular updates (refer to previous entry). I'm not promising anything this time. I had no idea how busy this term's going to be! We'll be making our own psychological tests pretty soon. We've already decided on a construct, so we'll see how it goes from there.

A lot's been going on since my last entry. My, how time flies! It hasn't been all fun though. I've had my share of worries, doubts, fears, and the like these past few months - finding myself in highly complicated situations (trust me when I say highly) that I never thought I'd land in.

In every mishap, however, I'm sure we'd all agree that what is most important is we find ways to overcome these trials and learn from them.

Lesson #1: There really is no use crying over spilled milk.

I was watching Lion King and was struck when Timon and Pumbaa told a young Simba this statement: "Kid, you gotta learn to put your past behind 'ya." An older Simba tells Nala the same thing later on in the movie and adds: "Sometimes bad things happen and there's nothing we can do about it, so why worry?".

True enough. Why worry about something you can't change anyway? It's done. Looking back at the damage will only make you feel, well, miserable.

Lesson #2: Never regret something done with the intention to help.

I know the feeling of helplessness that comes with the realization that there's absolutely nothing you can for someone who doesn't want to change. To add insult to injury, the person knows that what he's doing is wrong and knows what is supposed to be done, but just won't do anything about it. But if you think about it, was it really a waste?

I say nay. At first I felt it was all a huge ginormous mistake to try changing this one very wrong thing about a friend of mine. My time, efforts, and sacrifices were like paper going down a shredder, but what about the positive feelings I got along the way? I can't say that those were wastes. I can't rid myself of the truth that my friend trusted me enough to tell me what's going on, and it isn't something easy to say. I won't be able to just erase the joy that I felt that I was starting to make a difference in someone's life. My friend actually listened to me, at least for sometime. And most of all, I'll forever have a burning testimony on prayer, which brings me to:

Lesson #3: PRAYER - the simple solution to all of life's miseries.

When my heartaches were too much to bear, I prayed. When I didn't know what to do, I prayed. And you know what? He's listening. I knew and felt it that moment. Prayer does wonders, you have my word. You should try it, it heals :)

Though in the end my friend chose not to listen, I have no regrets because I feel good about a lot of things now. Come to think of it, everything I've been through was more of a blessing than a nuisance. It's my friend's problem anyway, not mine. I did my part, he should do his. What he chooses is not in my hands anymore. Again, I quote Timon and Pumbaa: "Hakuna Matata! It means no worries for the rest of your days. It's our-problem free philosophy". So, Hakuna Matata!

the blogger world welcomes jennagustin.com!

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 13:03:00 +0000

Thanks to my best friend, Alliv Samson, I am proud to announce that I am now the owner of my own domain! I'm still trying to find my way around this though, so be patient!

I'm really looking forward to reviving this blog and tinkering with every other thing that's tagged along with the whole my own domain thing. I can assure that I will be updating my blog more often. I miss blogging! I can't believe I stopped for some time. haha...

Anyway, school work's calling. Gotta go! Updates to come! :D

reserved

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 11:36:00 +0000

With the little time I had to myself this week (the rest of it was given to school work and papers), I used it to browse through my Gospel and the Productive Life manual to read up on what our lesson will be for this Friday's Institute class. I found that it was going to be "Selecting and Becoming an Eternal Companion".

President Spencer W. Kimball said:

"I have warned the youth against the many hazards of interfaith marriage, and with all the power I possessed, I warned young people to avoid the sorrows and and disillusionments which come from marrying out of the Church and the unhappy situations which almost invariably result when a believer marries an unbelieving spouse... We recommend that people marry those who are of... the same religious background, without question."

A thought crossed my mind as I read this opening statement of the lesson, and I'd like to share it with you.

The status "single" technically means you are not in a serious relationship. There is, on the other hand, a more specific term single Latter-day Saint women like me can use - "RESERVED". Why reserved? Think of it like a room reservation in a hotel. When a certain room is registered under your name, not just anyone can get inside; just those with permission. When a girl says she is "reserved", she is also not allowing just anyone to win her heart; just the selected ones she deems worthy. She filters out the men who will not help her progress and makes room for only the worthy Priesthood holders.

I also mentioned earlier that "reserved" is a more specific term for "single" (not an entirely different one). A single person would say "I'm waiting for the right one", whereas a reserved person would say "I'm waiting for the worthy one". A single woman seeks a companion, whereas a reserved person seeks an eternal companion. A single person would use mind and heart to tell if someone is a good catch, whereas a reserved person would use, mind, heart, AND prayer. It's not just us who will know a worthy man - Heavenly Father will too. He will "tell you in your minds and in your heart (D&C 8:2)" that you are making the right choice.

It's a given that our ultimate goal is be back in Heavenly Father's presence someday. Our partners can either make or break this plan, so need we dare to marry someone who will not help us get there? NO, we must not. As 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with nonbelievers". Prayer over perception, worthiness over wealth, eternally over earthly - let us have these in mind when faced with a choice for a partner. Let us bravely say "Temple Marriage or nothing".

So my status?

RESERVED :)

happy father's day!

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 13:19:00 +0000

I was a speaker in Church this morning. The topic was about Father's Day. Just wanted to share with you what I composed for 7 hours, 3 of which were spent just lying down thinking of what to do. haha... This talk's one of my favorites actually :)

***

Good morning brothers and sisters.

When I started making this talk, I thought “What else is there to say about Father’s Day?”. Much has already been said about this day and I really wanted to take this talk out of its usual lines. I searched LDS.org hoping to find some ideas, and there was one particular result that caught my eye – an article entitled “I Just Don’t Have That Kind of Dad”. As I read the article, I thought “oo nga noh, there really are times that we don’t see eye-to-eye with our dad” which is why I thought of pointing out three situations in which both the fathers and their children could find some humor in and learn from as well.

About 4 years ago, I bought this shirt saying “when mom says no, daddy says yes”. Siguro sa dami ng beses na pinagbibigyan tayo ng mga tatay natin sa mga gusto natin, sa minsang humindi sila, nagtatampo na agad tayo. This brings us to:

Situation #1: Nagkatampuhan kami ni Daddy.

My dad and I don’t usually fight, but when we do, our fights don’t involve any of the punishments like hindi na pwedeng lumabas or wala akong allowance. Kunsenyahan ang laging nangyayari, at alam naman natin siguro kung sinong laging natatalo – AKO, sino pa nga ba? I remember one time that I was late for Church and what my dad did was to text me “Jenn, i hope you realize that you have to change your behavior in coming to church on sunday. Remember that you set the tone of the rest of your life by the little things you do today”. Sa totoo lang, mas ginusto ko pang mawalan ng allowance kesa makunsensya nung mga oras na yun.

I believe it’s important for fathers to instill lessons when they scold their kids, like what my dad did to me. If fathers don’t make them understand why the child is being punished, he/she may stop the bad behavior, yes, but merely out of fear. Fear might cover the child’s path to the realization that he/she did something wrong. Besides, it’s much better to hear that kids can confidently say “NO” to temptation because they know it will not do them any good and not because they are scared of losing their allowance.

Children should also realize that it’s difficult for their fathers to scold them, but of course, it’s done because kids have to learn. Our dads may not grant us every single thing that we ask of them, but we can be sure that they will always have their best interest for us and will do everything in their power to provide us with what is needed.

Situation #2: Missing In Action si Daddy.

In talk I gave two years ago, I told the story of a wise father who once told his daughter “it’s not the presents of a father that matters, but his presence that really counts”. This father has always made it a must to spend time his daughter despite his busy schedule. He’d take her to work with him, be there during awarding ceremonies in school, and even take her to the nearest bay to watch the sunset. This story is very significant to me because this daughter is me. Of course things changed as I grew older and now, we bond over sports, stories, and the best part – driving.

Sometimes, all a kid ever needs is to know is that his father’s right there. Make yourself known while your kids are young. Lalo na pag mga bata pa kasi diba ang lambing lambing pa nila sa mga magulang nila. Palakasin na yung closeness sa parents habang bata pa lang para pag tanda nila, close pa rin. Also, I think it was Elder Uchtdorf who said in one of the general conferences “to the Fathers, make memories with your kids”. Each memory makes the bond between a father and a child stronger. Parang buhok – ang daling putulin ng isang piraso, pero pag dumami ng dumami na yung buhok, hindi na napuputol. So be there for each milestone of the kid’s life and especially when it matters – they will remember you for that. These memories are priceless, so don’t ever pass up the chance to be part of them.

The last situation and probably the heaviest of the three is:

Situation #3: Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa tatay ko kung gaano siya ka-importante sa buhay ko.

Personally, I’ve never really told my dad this face-to-face, only in letters and cards. I hold true to actions speak loader than words dahil nahihiya kasi akong sabihin sa kanya (buti na lang wala siya ditto ngayon). So anong pwedeng gawin?

First, we obey. Exodus 20:12 states “Honour thy father and they mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee”. By obeying our father, we show him that we respect him and we keep ourselves out of harm’s way as well. Second, try to meet his expectations. But sometimes even if we don’t meet these expectations, it’s good enough for them to know that we put a lot effort into a task. Third, include him in your prayers. Forth, don’t ever forget to thank him. And fifth, simply talk to him – even after dealing with many people at work, I’m sure they’d always be glad to hear from their kids.

In closing, I’d like to share with you a poem entitled “What Makes a Dad”.

What Makes a Dad
God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it... Dad

I know that our fathers were hand-picked by Heavenly Father especially for us. I know that through His plan we can make the fondest memories here on earth and even more in the life hereafter with them. Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers! And I leave these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

***

Happy Father's Day to all the dear fathers and fathers to be! :)

h1n1 case in dlsu

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 19:45:00 +0000

To: Academic Community

From: Br. Armin A. Luistro FSC, President and Chancellor

Re: Confirmed Case of INFLUENZA A and CAMPUS CLOSURE

De La Salle University announces the closure of the campus from June 4 to 14, 2009 in view of its confirmed case of the Influenza A N1H1 virus. Based on existing Department of Health Guideline on A(H1N1) in schools, DLSU will reopen on June 15.

The case is a female foreign student who arrived in the country on May 12. DOH confirmed today, June 3 that the student contracted the virus.

The student has been admitted in a healthcare facility and is being closely monitored by medical practitioners.

DLSU officials have met with DOH Secretary Dr. Francisco T. Duque III and are closely coordinating with other Department of Health key personnale regarding the case.

Prior to the incident, the University has instituted campaus wide precautionary measures such as information dissemination regarding the INfluenza A H1N1 virus.

During the closing period, the Academic Community is advised to monitor flu-like symptoms, to stay way from crowds and practice good hygiene. If symptoms appear, the person should immediately seek medical attention. They should also inform the University Clinic of their Condition by sending their full name and ID number through email at clinic@dlsu.edu.ph.

The community is also advised to regularly check the DLSU website at www.dlsu.edu.ph/Influenza_bulletin for updates and developments on the issue, and announcements on the rescheduling of University events and activities etc. For inquiries, the Marketing Communication office may be reached at 526-5913 during office hours.

***

It was around 4:45 when a Discipline officer came to the 2nd floor of our school's library and shouted "Uwian na, ineevacute namin yung school. May student na nahanapan ng H1N1." (It's time to go home, we're evacuating the school. A student was found to be carrying H1N1).

When my friend, Eka, and I got out of the library, everyone crowded the walks leading to the South Gate. It was the first time I've ever seen that many people in the hallways. I hated it - noise, over-panicked students pushing and shoving. Ughh, chaotic. The train station was full, too. I was able to ride only after 20 minutes or so, and it was still jam-packed with people.

It was only when the train left the station that what happened just sank in: an H1N1 case in my own school. I suddenly became paranoid about a lot of things like whether I know the student who contracted the virus, if I may have been classmates with him/her, was I in the same place as him/her, stuff like that. I don't think I know him/her though. I have classmates who are sick, (heck, even I'm not feeling too well) but none of them look sick enough to be carrying H1N1.

So now, DLSU will be closed for 10 days, as instructed by the DOH. We La Salle students are instructed to be on self-quarantine. We are not to go out of the house for safety measures. GOSH, 10 days inside my room - how... boring. I honestly wish classes weren't suspended. On top of the 10 days that will eventually lead me to get bored with the internet, the term just started and I'm enjoying myself. The subjects I'm taking are very interesting and my professors are really good too.

*sigh* Oh well... It's for our good anyway. I'll just have to find something to do to keep myself entertained. Take care, friends.

it's a small world after all

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Sun, 31 May 2009 19:50:00 +0000

I plurked a few hours ago that the LDS (Latter-day Saint) world is small, and it just keeps getting smaller and smaller. So many times in my late high school and college years have I held this true.

There's my friend, Jeneen Reyes, who I met through Friendster. She added me up and I accepted her because she's a member of the Church, and I've always been ecstatic about the idea of having friends from other stakes (she's from Novaliches Stake). Anyway, we sent each other messages in Friendster and then later on found out that our Stakes plus QC Stake will be combined that year for a Regional Youth Conference. We met there and have been good friends since. We even met-up again sa 2nd time, this time for a Young Single Adult Conference. I have no idea when I'll see her agian, but we still keep in touch every now and then.

There's another instance in Hawaii. We missed our bus going home from the Polynesian Cultural Center because my lola had an accident and needed medical assistance, so we were held up there for some time. I was standing there just looking at what the medics were doing to my lola when someone called me. It turned out to be Kuya Jed Dy, my Seminary teacher's husband. He was either working or studying there at that time. When it was time to leave, one of the staff members and his wife offered to drive us back to our hotel. We later on discovered that both of them were good friends of my cousin, Ate May, and her husband, Kuya David. Even when we reached our hotel, the stories seemed never ending.

There are other missionary experiences as well. Elder Bradford who used to be a missionary assigned to our Ward paid a visit to us one Sunday last month. Apparently, he knows my cousin, Kuya Carlo. Very well, might I add. If remember it correctly, they used to be roommates in the mission field. Then there's Kuya JR Guererro who served a mission in Manila. I asked him if he met my cousin, Kuya PJ (Kuya Carlo's brother), because he, too, served a mission in Manila. Turns out he does know Kuya PJ.

I'd like to go on and on about these funny little coincidences, but there's just too many of them to blog about, and I have another story to tell! haha~

My dad mentioned that he and Elder Teh want to plan a get-together of all the Area and General Authories in the Philippines plus kids. I got excited as usual, because this would mean meeting more friends (friends with powerful dads pa HAHA), so I looking for people in Facebook with the last names of the Elders I know. I found just two.

One is my brother's contact who used to study in DLSU. I'm from DLSU, but I never saw this guy around campus and neither has Janna, another LDS in DLSU. My classmate before from Pasay Stake, Elisha, said that she knows him though (small world incident again!). Their family used to live in Pasay, so he's an old friend of hers. I wonder, did she ever see him around school kaya? I didn't see Elisha around last term, so I wasn't able to ask. Hmm...

I found another person who, even from the thumbnail, looked very familiar. I did a search of this guy in Friendster, and luckily, his profile wasn't set to private. I looked through his photos and really felt like I've seen him somewhere before. Then I got to the photo that answered my question and then realized that I REALLY HAVE SEEN HIM BEFORE. He was the only good-looking guy in the YSA (the one I mentioned earlier, with Jeneen) I attended last year - the only one. Well, at least that was what my friends and I agreed on. haha! I looked at the other photos and voila! It was him! I remembered the polo he wore that night. Oh my, I know the guy's name now. Case solved! *evil grin* I'm not sure if he's Elder *insert last name here*'s son though. I hope he is. Hello friend! nyahaha~

All right, enough procrastinating, time to get back to my homework :)) OH! and 9 days left 'til I leave my teenage life O_O;;

oh may

noreply@blogger.com (Jenn A.) — Thu, 28 May 2009 16:24:00 +0000

3 GUYS OFF MY LIST IN THIS MONTH ALONE. Why did the turnover rate of guys in my lame excuse for a love life suddenly speed up by 10 times? This is seriously stupid.

Before I start ranting away how my love life has seemed to hit an all-time low, let me present you with a checklist I've never really written down, only mentioned, until today. It's a list of the qualities of my ideal guy.

THE CHECKLIST
The must-haves (most important first)
   • Is he a worthy Priesthood holder? (specifically the Word of Wisdom)
   • Am I at ease when I'm around him? (includes sense of humor)
   • Is he a gentleman?
   • Is he mature? (I'm the eldest of 3, no more big babies please)
   • Is he smart?
   • Is he masipag? (hard working)
   • Does he speak English FLUENTLY?
   • Is he physically fit?
   • Kaya ba niya akong kontrahin? (doesn't become the underdog)
   • Does he text nicely? (I'm OC and I HATE sticky caps)
The big bonuses (most impressive first)
   • Does he have any talent in the arts?
   • Can he write well?
   • Is he a good leader?
   • Does he have a good speaking voice?
   • Does he look good?
   • Does he dress well?
   • Can he play any sport?
The big questions (all of equal importance)
   • Do I think we look good together?
   • Can you imagine yourself holding this guy’s hand?
   • Can he ride on with my friends?
   • Can you actually introduce this guy to your parents?

In short, I want a guy who's kinda like my ultimate idol, my dad :) I'm really proud of my dad and I'd hate to disappoint him with a bad choice in men. haha!

BEFORE YOU GO ON READING... I'd like to clarify just one thing. It's a given that many of us ladies want romantic guys. You know, the type who isn't "afraid" of chick flicks or crying his eyes out. It's a given and ladies LOVE that, so I didn't put it in the list anymore. I don't want an overly-cheesy guy though. haha~

Okay, shall we begin? *deep breath*

Guy #1: The Clueless
Actually I'm the one who's clueless because I don't know why I even liked him in the first place. The thing with this guy is I only like him when I see him. When I don't, the feelings just vanish. I can name plenty (believe me, plenty) of things that should automatically cross him out of my list for good, but there's just something about this guy that I'm drawn to. I repeat: only when I see him. When I don't, he's just another guy.

THE CHECKLIST
The must-haves
   • Priesthood: Needs work. A lot of it.
   • Maturity: Not so much.
   • Gentleman: Okay naman.
   • At ease: Definitely :)
   • Smart: No clue. Only that he's taking a computer course.
   • Masipag: He looks lazy, pero malay mo naman diba.
   • English: No. He knows a bit though.
   • Physically fit: I think so.
   • Kayang mangontra: I think he can :))
   • Texting: Needs iprovement.
The big bonuses
   • Arts: He dances.
   • Writing: No idea.
   • Leader: He could be if he shaped-up.
   • Good speaking voice: Oh heavens no.
   • Looks: Not so much.
   • Dresses well: Yes.
   • Sports: Basketball?
The big questions
   • Together: I'd like to say pwede, but no.
   • Holding hands: Err... Not so much.
   • Friends: Just to my close the ones in Church.
   • Parents: I don't think so. He has a lot of work to do.

So why did I cross him out? Ultimately for requirement number 1 which seems to be something he obviously has issues with. Worthy is not the best word for him at the moment. 'Nuff said.

Guy #2: The Mysterious
I was honestly impressed with this guy at first (you'll see why below). I already labeled him a prospect actually. Take note: prospect - not crush. There's something about him that I find kinda off. I can't put my finger on it, but there's something "wrong" with this one.

THE CHECKLIST
The must-haves
   • Priesthood: No doubt about that.
   • Maturity: Seems like it naman.
   • Gentleman: Yes.
   • At ease: Steady.
   • Smart: I saw that he had awards in either his HS or College grad.
   • Masipag: According to sources, yes.
   • English: I thought yes, but then his last message was just... Bad.
   • Physically fit: He's a little too big for me.
   • Kayang mangontra: He looks too nice to do that.
   • Texting: not applicable
The big bonuses
   • Arts: He dances (according to my friend).
   • Writing: No idea.
   • Leader: Looks like it.
   • Good speaking voice: Yes.
   • Looks: Not bad.
   • Dresses well: Needs improvement na lang.
   • Sports: No idea.
The big questions
   • Together: Honestly, no.
   • Holding hands: No.
   • Friends: Yes.
   • Parents: Probably.

See how off this guy is? I mean, I answer yes and probably to the last two questions, but I can't see myself in a relationship with this guy. May something talaga eh. And I crossed him out of my list basically because I there's something off about him (that I can't tell what) and the wrong English I guess.

Guy #3: The Hopeless Romantic
Now this is a guy I've really liked since last term. He's my classmate and I've told my friends, Jill and Frances, a million times over "ang cute cute niya talaga" plus a lot more of his good qualities.

THE CHECKLIST
The must-haves
   • Priesthood: No... He's a Christian though.
   • Maturity: NO (I'll explain in a bit).
   • Gentleman: Yes. He forgets hims manners sometimes though.
   • At ease: Yes.
   • Smart: YES.
   • Masipag: He said it himself - he's lazy.
   • English: Definitely.
   • Physically fit: He's a little on the short side, but he doesn't smoke.
   • Kayang mangontra: Yeah :))
   • Texting: Not applicable yet, but we exchanged numbers na kanina.
The big bonuses
   • Arts: No clue.
   • Writing: He's a sentimental man, so I guess he can.
   • Leader: Pwede.
   • Good speaking voice: Fair.
   • Looks: VERY CUTE :D
   • Dresses well: YES :D
   • Sports: Table Tennis
The big questions
   • Together: If he weren't Chinese, it could work.
   • Holding hands: Maybe XD
   • Friends: Yes.
   • Parents: If my dad gets over his racism, then yes :))

Yes, I crossed this ~~good~~ great catch off my list. And why?

This afternoon, I got to hang-out with him and discovered he wasn't "all that". He told us about how he and his ex-girlfriend broke up when he was in first year and how they're good friends at the moment even if the girl knows that he likes her. What's creepy, according to Jill, is that Mr. Hopeless Romantic is still courting his ex TWO YEARS after the break-up. Jill and I were thinking that 2 years is a little too long to wait, isn't it? Besides, they had a past already. If it's done, then it's done. And another thing. He's young! At this stage in our lives, we should allow ourselves to explore our options.

Don't get me wrong. I wasn't devastated or something by what I heard that's why I switched to get-over-that-guy mode so quickly, I just thought he's too fixated on his farfetched fantasies that he's forgetting to keep his feet on the ground.

I just have this personal philosophy that keeping ourselves exclusive to just one person might even make us miss what's better and right before our eyes (speaking from experience), and it's these missed opportunities we end up regretting. You're either engaged already or plain dumb if you don't allow yourself to explore your options. That's why I don't really think it's wise for teens to enter relationships at a young age. As long as you're not tying the knot any time soon, you're free. Everyone has the right to find what's best for them, after all.

Pero malay mo naman. This guy might be right. I haven't met the girl yet, after all. Maybe they were able to bring back the old spark somehow. Maybe. We'll see.

SO THAT'S IT. I just amused myself with all this. haha~ Oh gosh I know I'm going to be laughing at this a few months from now XD