• Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
• Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
• Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
• Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help.

What I also want to say is that this is not just something that effects women, however, more women are victims then men. Now allow me to share my story of courage, bravery and confidence to know I deserved so much more.

When I was 15 I started a job working at a fast food restaurant. At 16 I started dated a teen boy whom I worked with. He was 1 year older and went to a different school then I did. We also lived in far different areas of the city. He had a license and a car so he was usually the one who took care to come and see me and pick me up. We worked together an additional 2 years and during that time our relationship bloomed. He was the perfect boyfriend. He adjusted his schedule to make sure he could pick me up, drop me off, and be there when I needed him to. We spent a lot of time going to movies and doing things that we both enjoyed. It was my junior prom night and we went with a group of my friends. We went out to dinner that evening and proceeded to head back to a hotel. Since we were already sexually active, it wasn’t the ideal situation looking back, but we were safe and not drinking. The following morning was the first time I can remember that he was physically violent with me. He was upset that we’d spent the entire night with MY friends and it wasn’t his crowd. I was packing things up and he used force to push me out of his way. I hit the wall. I brushed it off, but looking back, I should have seen that as a sign. After I graduated we moved into an apartment together. It was then that things really went downhill. We both worked full time at the restaurant and had little time to do much beyond that. We also didn’t have a lot of money. The situation had now flipped and since he moved out he no longer had a car. I however did. He expected me to do all of the running, even picking him up at 12:30am when he was done, regardless of the fact that I had to be at work for 5am. He got upset when I did things with friends and he made me pay for it. He’d verbally abuse me calling me names that were far from appropriate and names you should ever call someone you love. Every time things like this happened, he spent the next day or two apologizing and giving me gifts, flowers, etc. I always got the “I’m sorry. I love you. It won’t happen again.” reply. I always believed it.

One night after I had finished working I gave one of our male co-workers a ride home. This co-worker was a mutual friend who actually attended school with my then boyfriend. I didn’t see a problem in giving a friend a ride. I was sadly mistaken. When I arrived home I was badgered as to why it took me so long. As I told him I gave a friend a ride home, he proceeded to get very loud. He started with the name calling and he even threw a hard plastic cup at me as well as a shoe. I immediately left and went to my parents. I was scared. I never told them what happened though. The next day he was scheduled to work so I decided to go home. He was waiting for me. Again I got the “I’m sorry. I love you. It won’t happen again.” reply. Again, I believed him. We talked and he agreed he took things way out of control and he wouldn’t let it happen again.

A few weeks went by and nothing really happened. It was the basic relationship that we had before. It was close to rent time and I had gotten my paycheck. For whatever reason his check was smaller then mine. He wanted more of my check then 1/2 the rent. I explained then he should give me money for using my car all the time. He never put gas in it and he never helped with repairs. This sent him off in a MAD spiral of violence and he completely turned in to a monster. He was throwing all kinds of things at me. He hit me with an open hand and followed that up with a frying pan to the side of my face. I was crying and hysterical, but he cut the phone cord and refused to let me call for help. He blocked all the doors and locked me in the closet. I couldn’t get out but the constant pounding and crying lead the neighbor to call police. When they arrived he answered the door. He proceeded to tell the police that I was out of control mentally and he was just trying to control me and calm me down so that I wouldn’t hurt myself or him. When the police seen me they asked about my face. There was no cuts but it was deeply swelled, especially my ear. I didn’t learn till later I’d lost 20% of the hearing in my left ear as a result. I explained that HE was the upset one and that he had physically hit me. The system failed me. They decided to tell us we needed to calm down and that they didn’t want to have to come back. Not removing either of us from the situation. 15 minutes after the police left, he smacked me across the back and then threw me out into the driveway wearing shorts and a t-shirt, no socks or shoes, no car keys and no wallet. I had nothing. It was winter and about 25 degrees outside! I walked to a nearby gas station to call my mom, collect. She came and got me and we went back to her house and we called the police.. This time we wanted everything documented and pictures taken. We had officially filed a report. I stayed with my mom and went back 2 days later to collect my things with my family to move out.

After careful consideration and talking with my family, we decided to not press charges at the time. In some ways it still bothers me that we didn’t but in other ways I am glad that we didn’t. He was enlisted to leave in the Military and if I had pressed charges we knew he wouldn’t be able to go. He would be here, stalking me and harassing me because I stopped him from his career. Since he was leaving for basic training and over seas shortly after that we thought it was better, leaving him go and having him out of my life rather then him stalking my life and having him making my life even more miserable. There are so many times I think that I should have went ahead with the charges, especially when years later he still contacts me and tries to communicate with me (which by the way, he still says he never hit me). The worst thing I could have done was let him get away with his crime, which is exactly what my naive teen self did.

There was so much over the years that I let go and didn’t listen to. I should have pressed charges, I should have called the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help! 1-800-799-SAFE Thankfully for me I was able to get out. I got out before I didn’t have a chance to get out. I got out before I became a statistic.

What I touched on a bit in my story, but most people tend to overlook is that with domestic violence, there is a very real chance there is also other abuse going on. Abuse is not just physical, there’s emotional abuse too. With all the recent suicides from bullying, you’d think that emotional abuse would be talked about more, but it’s not. It often falls right off the radar. Emotional abuse is very real. I’m going to share a few examples emotional abuse with you. (Source)

• Calling you names and putting you down.
• Yelling and screaming at you.
• Preventing you from seeing or talking with friends and family.
• Blaming your actions for their abusive or unhealthy behavior.
• Threatening to commit suicide to keep you from breaking up with them.
• Making you feel guilty or immature when you don’t consent to sexual activity.
• Threatening to have your children taken away.

Emotional abuse should be taken very seriously. The reason I say that is because in my situation it started with emotional abuse. I let it go because I thought it was okay. I was supposed to be his girlfriend, so I should do what HE wants to do, right?! WRONG! But again, I was young and naive.

Today I took my shower, got the kids and myself ready and headed out to run a few errands. I’ve been comfortably doing this for a couple weeks now and I only needed to grab a few things so I didn’t think anything of it. It’s always warm in the garage, so it didn’t dawn on me that it was THAT warm outside. Imagine my surprise when I pull out of the garage, roll down the windows to no breeze and it was getting HOTTER in the truck! I look up at that neat little digital temperature thing above the rear view mirror.. 91* Surely this HAS to be a joke. Before I could leave the driveway I pulled up the weather channel and checked. It was true and looks like it’s going to stay that warm. JOY! Up went the windows and on went the air conditioning.

I do love summer, but I wasn’t prepared. Usually we ease into it and it’s not so bad. I also have other issues that make it tough. Since the accident, I’ve lost 36 pounds and well, nothing fits. I went through 32 pairs of shorts and skirts and managed to salvage 3 pairs.. THREE! I would imagine a repeat of that will happen when I go through tops. I also have had some laser scar treatment done, so I need to have a GOOD skin and body moisturizers. Many of the products I used sat all winter because I don’t tend to need them as much then and I didn’t want to push it. I used some moisturizers from EdenFantasys that I was able to use thankfully. So I added moisturizers to my list and picked up what I needed. We are also back to the point were shaving daily is another necessity. I always buy the shaving creams with extra moisturizers, but for some reason my legs feel more and more dry when I shave daily versus every 2-3 days in the winter months. It’s so strange.

Now that summer is here, I am prepared and ready and I am enjoying the rays! I am using an SPF 45 Sunscreen and living it up for as long as it lasts. On a side note.. Leather seats are the enemy and they live in my truck. I can’t win!

My friend’s car broke down last week. She was waiting on several of her friend’s to call her as she knows people that have mechanic husbands. It all ended up falling through and she needs the car for work tomorrow. She decided to call me and see what I thought. I told her that my mechanic is a pretty honest guy and he works with my husband at the paper mill. He works on cars and does mechanic work at a small shop he owns with his uncle. He’s a good guy. I got them in touch yesterday, connected them and he was supposed to pick her car up sometime yesterday. It never happened. Of course, my husband defended him saying this is is his business, but he also works at the mill and he has been working for 8 days straight (they typically don’t work more then 4 without time off). While I DO understand that, I explained that this IS his business and this was the first time he had presented himself to this potential customer. Standing her up wasn’t the best first impression. My friend is upset, with both the mechanic and me. I told her he was trust worthy, because he’s never been anything but to me or anyone I’ve referred to him. Now he wants to get the vehicle today and she is refusing to answer his calls and has probably found someone else. I will still use the mechanic, because my past experiences with him have been positive, but I have to say, I’m not sure I will refer anyone anymore. Sure, we get busy.. things come up.. but he should have called and explained and said he’d be there right away in the morning and apologized. He had no contact at all.

This is his business. It doesn’t matter if your business is big or small, you have a responsibility to your customers. The small business association works hard to help small business owners with things like loans, strategy and marketing. There is no excuse. You treat your customers good and they will come back, you treat them bad and they won’t return and they WILL share their story. Whether it is a simple chore, expenses, tax audits, marketing, etc you are responsible for your business and your actions. I truly believe that people look past this, do what they want and then don’t understand why their business has taken a back burner and is at a dead standstill. I also hate to say it, but in business it’s still true.. Treat others how you’d like to be treated.. What I want to know from everyone else is.. How do you feel about this? Do you think it’s right that my friend is upset and justified in being upset? Is my husband right? Or is the way I am seeing things right?

I  also have to admit, sitting next to them and enjoying the games with them is a guilty pleasure! Yes, they are kids games, but they are amusing to watch. Both kids have been on the site playing. There are so many things to do, all in the games online, but something for everyone. There are math games, coloring things and more. I don’t mind the kids playing. There are quite a few things to do for a wide age range, including preschool games and projects.

I know a lot of kids are into online games and really looking forward to being on the computer, but as parents we do have to safe guard them. Parental controls, pre-screening of the sites, even sitting with them are all things that we do to protect them from sites that are less then kid or family friendly. Saving links like Cookie.com to the desktop helps me when I have them playing while I’m making dinner. The site is ad-free so the kids aren’t going to click off on something that is not family friendly.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I’m always in love with casserole type dinners because they are also very quick to make and kid friendly. Here’s the list of ingredients that you will need:

- 2 cups shredded taco cheese blend
- 1 pound hamburger
- 1 package of taco seasoning
- 1 package of taco or mexican rice
- 1 can (8oz) Mexicorn
- 1 can black olives (optional)
- 1 cup crushed corn tortilla chips or cheese (or taco flavored) doritos
- 1 box pie crusts
- 1 8-9″ pie tin

Preheat the oven to 350* F. Cook the taco meat using the hamburger and taco seasoning as directed on the package. While that’s browning and cooking start your rice. I make the rice is a taller pot (so in the end when you need to mix things you have a bigger pot to do that). While everything is cooking lay your pie crust into your pie pan. Make sure you push it down in the corners and everything so that you have no air between the pan and the crust. I use a glass pyrex pan, but any pie tin will do. I’ve even made this is a square dish before (your crust won’t completely cover, but it still works).

Once your hamburger is browned and you have mixed in the taco seasoning, you will mix that in the pan with your rice (make sure that’s fully cooked first). I find that both take about 7-10 minutes so they are done at about the same time. Mix the rice and hamburger together. Add in the Mexicorn and the 2 cups of cheese. Mix until you have it all mixed together well. Put your mixture in your pie crust. Cover with the 2nd pie crust and twist your edges to seal it. Make a few slits in the top to allow the heat to escape.

Top the crust with your crushed tortilla chips or doritos. It just gives it a little extra crunch that you miss without the hard taco shell. Bake this at 350* F for about 30 minutes (or until your crust is golden brown). Serve.

I serve mine with sour cream and a little taco hot or mild sauce. You can season to please. From start to finish this dish is ready in about 45 minutes and quick to serve up. This recipe is filling and serves my family of 4 with a few extra pieces for the next day. If you have a larger family or want more leftovers, double this recipe and make 2 pans. The extras are great reheated the next day or even in the microwave for a quick after school snack!

Please stop back and let me know what your kids and family think!

Link up your Wordless Wednesday Posts below so I can stop by!

Mother’s Day is right around the corner. As a mom, I know that we never get quite enough time to ourselves. We always have a child in the bathroom with us or someone to feed. It’s not uncommon that we sacrifice something for ourselves for our children. As a mother, it’s not even a thought, we just do it. This Mother’s Day Beauty by Buford is looking to pamper mom. Beauty by Buford, a Denver plastic surgeon, offers a wide range of services and products that will help you achieve a beautiful glow and that will in turn make your confidence better.

Recently with my accident, I’ve been exposed to using the services of a plastic surgeon. This isn’t something I ever thought that I would do. I think natural beauty is really the key. Here’s the thing.. I wasn’t prepared for a lot of the information I was given. I thought I had a great cleansing system and facial process. I had no idea that a plastic surgeon takes care of so much more then those imperfections or things we wish were different. I ended up getting a whole new facial cleansing line, some amazing cover up and sunscreen in one (one shade for everyone, makes it nice that I don’t have to buy 20 colors and blend them) and even some make up that was better for my skin. While I am using the services of a plastic surgeon, you really can benefit from a simple visit and things like stem cell therapy and so much more. Dr Budord has many testimonials on his website as well as before and after photos of what different services and products can do. Consultations are complimentary.. So go ahead.. Pamper Yourself!

GIVEAWAY: ONE lucky reader will get a $50 VISA Gift Card to use as you please. Please note this gift card is being sent from Dr Buford of Beauty by Buford. 

MANDATORY ENTRY: To enter, please tell me what you would like to have done? Remember, it doesn’t have to be surgical.

EXTRA ENTRIES:

• Subscribe to One Scrappy Mom by reader or email {2 extra entries}
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Make sure you leave 1 comment for each entry to get credit!! Contest ends Friday, May, 25, 2012.

FTC Disclosure: I was compensated to host this giveaway. The sponsor has provided the gifts for the winner of this giveaway. All views and opinions with regard to the products or company itself are my own and were not influenced, nor reviewed, by the company prior to posting. Offer valid to US Residents ONLY!

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There’s been a whole lot of this:

Which has left a whole lot of this:

Which has made my lawn a breeding ground for this:

{Rain, Rain Go Away} I’ll admit.. I like a nice thunderstorm, rain shower and even rainbow.. From time to time. It’s been a really WET spring so far. On the days it’s nice enough that it doesn’t rain, the lawn is just dry enough to cut it.. And as soon as your finished.. It pours! Bye Rain.. I hear Washington State misses you ;)

Link up your Wordless Wednesday Posts below so I can stop by!

Online Bingo!

I love the world of online games and I have picked up playing so many of them. My children are also very found of the computer and online games. I like them because many of them are free and many of them are strictly online, which means nothing is being downloaded to the computer and I am not spending money on expensive game cartridges that they lose or don’t end up playing with them much. Down the road from us is the veteran’s hall and they frequently (1 night a week) have bingo playing. The age ranges from young teens to grandmothers. It’s fun, but often by the time I can sit down and enjoy my game, I’ve done homework, made dinner, cleaned up dinner and the dishes, got the kids bathed and ready for bed, and I am plain exhausted! Playing from home while relaxing in my recliner or my bed is the best way for me! AND I can play in my pajamas! Double win for mom!!

What is your guilty pleasure? Do you play any online games? How about games in general? Maybe your choice of games is an old card game or an app on your phone. I know the list is growing for me, but online bingo definitely is the one I am playing when I am on the computer!