Joni Rae at Tales of A Kitchen Witch asks:
Hi Sarah! I was wondering what would you do if one of your children wanted to go to school?

Ah school. We have done public school (three of them!), homeschool, and unschooling. All with varying degrees of successes and failures.

When I became pregnant with Daniel, I immediately decided he would be home-schooled. Fast forward to single parenthood, working full time (I’ve never received child support from his biological father), and a stressful living situation and the choice was made to have him start public school.

I was not confident in my decision. It felt wrong. It felt like it was too soon, that he wasn’t ready. I should have listened to my intuition. Surrounded by my family members who told me I was an awful mother if I didn’t send him to school, I started him at Brentwood.

From day one he was overwhelmed. The school focused more on the social aspects rather than the educational. He and this other little boy at the time, Christopher, did NOT get along. Daniel has always been very tall for his age and Christopher was of course, smaller. He would push my son and then claim he “had to” because my son “scared him”. I made numerous requests in person to the principal AND his teacher asking them to place my son in a different classroom. Instead, they “separated their tables”.

It killed me. He didn’t learn a single thing in kindergarten. Not one thing. In fact, he began to hate any kind of learning.

Then it’s time for first grade. This teacher refused to answer any of my emails, refused to schedule any conference with me, and again focused on the social aspect. During this time the decision was made that he would move to Pennsylvania to live with his biological father. WORST MISTAKE EVER, not only was my son abused physically/emotionally/mentally by his biological father and bio-father’s girlfriend, but again was set up to fail in his school (Laurel Elementary School) there. Their security was lax, in fact, it was brought to my attention that my sister had posed as me and spoke to the principal at that school on more than one occasion. I still don’t know what went on up there…

Anyway, after five miserable months in PA, he came home and started up at North School. Right away I was uncomfortable. His teacher (sensing a theme here!) never responded to my emails or in person contact. The principal would text my cell phone after 9pm suggesting my son go on more “playdates”. He spent most afternoons in her office because, again, he was not having good interactions with the other students. They would have him do handwriting worksheets as punishments.

Now during all this time and all those schools, what did he learn? That he needs to play nice or be “punished”. That’s it. He didn’t learn to write or read. Didn’t pick up any history or science.

Considering my own history with school, I was a bit shocked. After all, I really didn’t have any issues.

So Keith and I decided to homeschool. Then we chose to unschool very shortly after that. It’s now been a year and a half and Daniel does some writing, a touch of reading here and there, and is quite good at math. However, he still fights us every step of the way if we even SUGGEST he “read a book” or anything he construes as learning.

So you can imagine my utter shock when last night, Daniel told Keith and I that he wants to try public school again.

We spent over an hour discussing it with him. What his reasons were, that it would be hard work catching up educationally, that there is a lot more structure and rules, etc. That if he was solid in this decision, we would support him and make it work.

I am terrified.

I am worried that we will spend a small fortune to enroll him, get all the supplies the school “requires”, get all the clothes they require (as a lot of them are specific on a dress code), for him to decide he made a wrong decision and to choose to be at home again.

I am freaking out about the level of work that needs to be done to catch him up to grade level when it comes to reading (which he seems to hate to do).

I am concerned about potential bullying by other students, it seems like every hour of every day there’s another article released about bullying in schools.

I am stressing out over all the “what-if” scenarios.

I feel quite lost actually. Have you been in a similar situation? I could use all the helpful advice you have to offer!

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at OneStarryNight.com! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Thursday Q&A. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest blog entry!

When I went from being a single full-time working mother to ONE child to being a stay at home momma to TWO boys, to say it’s been an adjustment would be an understatement.

I don’t think I could have done it if it wasn’t for my oldest son, Daniel.

Here is just a SMALL list of what he does on a DAILY basis to help me out:

• Changes the baby’s pee diapers
• Unloads the dishwasher
• Loads/unloads the dryer
• Plays with his baby brother for HOURS
• Believes he is a Sith Lord and is teaching his baby brother to be of the dark side
• Keeps the cat watered and fed
• Indulges me when I want to shoot photos
• Is VERY protective of his family
• Loves his family SO much

I have emotionally hard days, especially after the failed VBAC and I don’t think I would be able to function if it wasn’t for all the help Danny does around here!

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at OneStarryNight.com! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Why My Oldest Son Rocks!. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest blog entry!

We had gone out for a drive yesterday and ended up at Illinois State Beach.

I recently purchased the Nikkor 85mm f/1.8 prime lens and took some shots. I have to say, overall I am really pleased with my new lens! This is the first (and so far, only) time I’ve had a chance to use it.

Daniel was THRILLED, he made a sandcastle, played a bit in the freezing water, and overall really enjoyed himself. He also had a few moments of introspection… most likely debating if he should splash me or not I’m sure.

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at OneStarryNight.com! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, A Moment at the Beach. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest blog entry!

I get told quite often when I work on a person’s blog, “Don’t look at my stats! I’m so embarrassed, they can’t compare to what YOU must get!”. Ah, if only they knew.

I’ve been blogging here at OSN since November of 2001. Just shy of nine years (I have my archives from 2001–2003 private because it’s embarrassing). Here are my stats:

Of course to some of you newer bloggers, my numbers must look AWESOME right? However these newer blogs I work on, blogs that maybe have been around six months or less, have triple my numbers, of which I’ve spent nine YEARS working on.

Now granted, blogging isn’t just about numbers. I am “rich” in various other ways. I am able to help people, I’ve made amazing friends along the way, and I have a full online community that sustains me where my local community does not.

Back when I first started, it was a very elite circle that had domain names because they cost so much and hosting? Oh wow, you were lucky to get 5MB of space and 1 MySQL database for $30 a month! Being “hosted” as a sub-domain was all the rage. I should know as I’ve had my fair share of hostee’s here at OSN.

Now? It’s all about monetizing, ad clicks, page views, sponsored posts, marketing yourself, giveaways, being a brand, and so on. It makes my head spin! People are turning to superficial means to be the latest, greatest, super blogging star with their own book/movie deal.

People have asked me if I’ve ever considered placing ad’s on OSN and for now my answer is no. I’ve never been approached by a company to do a review or giveaway or ad placement. I don’t see that changing in the near future either.

My Questions for YOU!

• How long have you been blogging? Has it been consistently at the same URL?
• On average, how many visitors do you get a day/month?
• Do you feel blogging has changed over the past decade?
• Do you find that it’s easier for bloggers to start NOW rather than 5 years ago?

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at OneStarryNight.com! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, I’m Not Popular. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest blog entry!

I know I can’t be the only one.

The past decade has been packed full of drama and change that I’ve come to fear it in some ways. Just to give an idea, here’s a timeline:

• 2000: Got hit by Matt for the first time. Became codependent on him. Became very depressed. Used to use an online program called Palace. Started using online diaries and a manual blog on angelfire.
• 2001: I had a plan in place to move back to Tucson and leave Matt when I discovered I was pregnant with Danny in May. Started OSN.
• 2002: I gave birth via c-section to my first son.
• 2003: Discovered that my fiance of 4 yrs (at that point) had been cheating on me, stealing money from me and my family. Which in hindsight shouldn’t have been a surprise since if he was able to hit me, of course he was able to cheat. Kicked him out. Danny took his first steps at 14 months of age. Started working again. Dropped a ton of weight.
• 2004: Matt moved back in. Due to lack of transportation and pressure from Matt, I quit my job. Daniel chose to start potty learning. Switched from MovableType to ExpressionEngine. Started working again, this time for a plumbing company. Finally, at the end of the year, fully split up with Matt. He never did work while he lived with us. Gained back all the weight I had lost, and then some.
• 2005: Bought the Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ20K camera. Had emergency gallbladder removal surgery. I also used to do podcasts. Got my Illinois drivers license. Started to work on my weight and health.
• 2006: Bought my first car (Scion xA) and first DSLR camera (Nikon D50). Just really dealt with being a single, full time WOHM momma. Daniel self-weaned. Got in a car accident.
• 2007: I quit my job at the plumbing company and started working at GeekSquad. I began playing World of Warcraft. My twin sister became pregnant.
• 2008: The year I went crazy. Got my first tattoo. Had one of the best summers of my life. One of the most drama filled as well. Daniel went to live with Matt for five miserable months. I met Keith. We moved in together. I was smoking a pack a day (didn’t handle Dan living with Matt very well).
• 2009: I discover I am pregnant with Tristan. I quit smoking cold turkey the same day. I dealt with the cat lady. I switched from ExpressionEngine to WordPress, and haven’t looked back. We decided to start unschooling. I gave birth via repeat c-section to Tristan.
• 2010 (so far): I posted my first vlog. Purchased my lovely iPhone 3gs and Nikon D90. I wrote why I am estranged from my mother.

Tomorrow Keith starts his new job. I’ve gotten so used to him being the other SAHP that I’m fairly sure the first few weeks will have a steep learning curve as I get readjusted to being a SAHM. Next month my oldest son will be going on his annual trip to Michigan with my twin sister and her fiance for a week. I think I will go stir crazy.

I don’t seem to handle these large changes as well as I used to. I think I am easily overwhelmed these days.

I’ve also met some awesome bloggers along the way. By no means is this a complete list!

Amber {twitter: ambienine} and I have been best friends since we were in highschool french class together. I don’t think I could have survived those years without her!

Gina {twitter: TheFeministBreeder} and I started talking the night I went into labor with Tristan. I was fighting for a VBAC. She contacted me via twitter and we started txting. I don’t think she even knows how much that still means to me.

Joni {twitter: KitchenWitch} and I developed a quick and strong friendship. We have a LOT in common. She has MAD artist skills to the point that I can’t contain my jealously. I txt her randomly through out the day and she hasn’t gotten irritated yet!

Lynda {twitter: lynda} and I have known each other for YEARS online. She has mad photography skills and is beyond intelligent. I only wish I was as well spoken as she is!

Catie {twitter: catielove} and I have run in the same online circles for a few years now and recently got closer! I love how supportive she is of attachment parenting and it’s always nice having someone to rant about CSS to LOL!

So how has this decade treated you so far?

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at OneStarryNight.com! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, I Fear Change. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest blog entry!