The On Harvard Time Blog

Special Comper Edition of OHT!

2009-11-09T11:23:00.002-05:00

Our wonderful compers produced the following special edition of OHT. The future is bright for Harvard comedy news!

What can we do during J-Term?
What the heck is Gen Ed?
And our own Lamonster!

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OHT Asks Allston Residents About Harvard...on Halloween

2009-11-06T17:48:00.002-05:00

Hilarity ensues:

Click here for the full episode

OHT Interviews Zombie Versions of Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter

2009-11-04T11:20:00.004-05:00

Click here for the full episode

Episode 4: "The Late Halloween Episode"

2009-11-02T14:40:00.002-05:00

What's been happening at the SOCH?
Have we destroyed Allston?
And we hunt some zombies!

..All in this week's episode of On Harvard Time!

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OHT Anchor Chris Liberge Calls Playboy Radio

2009-10-26T01:52:00.004-04:00

For real.

Episode 3: "Jockblock"

2009-10-19T10:22:00.003-04:00

Want to learn how to stop sexiling?
Who is our new favorite dean?
And what's the biggest sport at Harvard this year?

...All in this week's episode of On Harvard
Time!

Click here for more On Harvard Time

What OHT clip has gone viral in University Hall?

2009-10-13T23:32:00.002-04:00

Don't get the "gone viral" joke in the title? You will in a second! Here's a segment from the latest episode that we've been told has been forwarded around gleefully by Harvard administrators:

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Season 4 Episode 2: "Health Nuts"

2009-10-05T03:56:00.003-04:00

Handy tips on how to avoid swine flu.
N. Gregory Mankiw makes his OHT debut!
And an expose on the "That Kid" subculture.
Also, penis jokes!

...All in this week's episode of On Harvard
Time!

Click here for more On Harvard Time

Rejected Urban Dictionary Definition: wei gu

2009-10-01T00:52:00.003-04:00

Here's an actual entry that was submitted and rejected by urbandictionary.com. It was written by OHTer Lucia Carver '13.

wei gu

1. a person who overreacts and falsely accuses a person or institution of sexual harassment and/or sexism.

2. a person who sends a novel-length email to the entire undergraduate class of a university about said false accusation.

Etymology: The term comes from a mass email sent out to Harvard undergrads by former economics graduate student Wei Gu. Gu sent a nearly 2,500 word e-mail that alleged that she had been the victim of “significant discrimination and misconducts” at the hands of professors and administrators at the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences, the Faculty of Arts and Sciences, and the University.

Example 1

Student #1: "I asked Wendy how her research paper was coming along and she started screaming 'Don't touch me there!'"

Student #2: "Dude what a fucking Wei Gu."

Example 2

Professor: "You haven't turned in any of your papers and you didn't show up for the exam. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to fail you."

Student: "It's because I'm a woman, isn't it!?"

Professor: "Who do you think you are, Wei Gu?"

Example 3

Undergrad #1: "Yo I just got some email from a grad student about being touched inappropriately by the John Harvard statue."

Undergrad #2: "Me too. Must be Wei Gu."

"Parks and Recreation" spoofs Skip Gates

2009-09-25T14:50:00.005-04:00

Here's Tom Haverford, a known minority, getting arrested for breaking into his own van on the NBC show last night:

Note also the reference to "your momma", and watch the rest of the episode for more similarities.

Season 4 premiere: "Rookie Mistake"

2009-09-21T16:57:00.001-04:00

In our season premiere:
Meet our new male anchor!
The Crimson screws up and we don't let it slip through the cracks.
Noticed the chairs on the Yard? We did too.

Click here for more On Harvard Time

Season 4 premieres tomorrow! For now watch some Harvard-made Mac/PC parody ads, and laugh.

2009-09-20T14:34:00.008-04:00

Will OHT be discussing the Crimson in our Season 4 premiere tomorrow? I think it's possible we will! But if you can't wait for your weekly dose of mocking our prestigious daily, here you go, the Crimson will do it all by their lonesome, by being supremely douchey:

Their new slogan: "The Harvard Crimson: Complete disdain for minority (sorry, "smaller." We totally meant "smaller," we promise.) publications since 1873."

For another grand experience with a Mac/PC parody, check out "HOLLIS vs. HOLLIS Classic: You Complete Me" by the library staff. Sorry, no embed function here, but it's definitely worth the click -- it will make your entire life.

Saving The World From Hitler: All In A Day's Work Here At OHT

2009-09-09T10:38:00.006-04:00

So yesterday we were reading the Crimson cover to cover, as every good citizen should do, and we came across an ad from a Holocaust denier, and were all like "This cannot stand!"

So we went to our Dell 964 All-In-One Printer/Scanner/Copier/Fax technological wonder, and BAM! -- two minutes later a post was up.

The campus exploded with literally dozens of angry emails, prompting the Crimson to "do the right thing" (which made us a bit sad because this ruckus had gotten the OHT Blog literally multiple links from Twitter). And today, FlyByBlog, the Crimson's less-structured (??) and thus more-fun wing, recognized OHT for being the first heroes to perform such heroic acts of heroism yesterday.

But come on, Crimson! No clever headline pun for your article about the incident? There's still time to change the online title from "Holocaust Ad Printed in The Crimson Elicits Outrage" to "Holocaust Ad Printed in The Crimson Elicits Furor"!

Hello, Crimson business board? People do sometimes read your newspaper.

2009-09-08T15:03:00.010-04:00

And if they were to read it today, they would find this lovely ad at the bottom-left of page A7 (click to enlarge):

Did you ever notice how for the last 136 years all 10 pages of The Harvard Crimson managed not to sell ad space to Holocaust deniers? Do you believe it immoral to ask this question? Tell me why. I can be reached at adcopy@thecrimson.com.

Notice that it's right next to the ad for the JFK Forum on "What's the right thing to do?" -- the first topic of which is whether you should give voice to Holocaust deniers for a couple hundred bucks.

Welcome back Crimson. We missed you,
On Harvard Time

OHT Summer Recap: "Harvard's Worst Summer Ever"

2009-09-05T15:42:00.002-04:00

Thanks for making LMAO such a huge success last night! We completely filled Sanders Theater (sorry to those of you who couldn't get in) and had a raucous good time. Thanks again to Myq Kaplan for headlining!

For those of you who weren't there (or who want to re-watch the funny!), here's OHT's summer recap video. Get pumped for season 4!

Aaaaaaaaand we're back! With a HUGE comedy show tomorrow!

2009-09-03T11:22:00.003-04:00

Did you know that school started already? I was just informed by a helpful freshman that classes in fact began yesterday -- who knew!

But the beginning of the school year also means the beginning of On Harvard Time Season 4, and oh boy do we have some fun planned! Tomorrow (Friday) at 9pm in Sanders Theater we'll be releasing our awesome summer recap video, as part of LMAO: A Night of Comedy.

This is going to be the biggest student comedy event in Harvard history, with free root beer and Chipotle, performances from six different student groups, and stand-up from Myq Kaplan of Comedy Central! You don't want to miss this!

Summer Time!

2009-06-16T06:20:00.003-04:00

Congrats to the Class of 2009!

The OHT Blog is taking a break for the summer. In the meantime, watch these very funny student speeches from Class Day, over and over, as many times as it takes to get to September:

Where Are They Now: Nate Dern '07

2009-05-20T21:45:00.006-04:00

Nate Dern '07, of Beauty and the Geek and "Ballad of the Beard" fame, stars as "the guy who started the fire" in this Onion News Network video from earlier this week (click link for a non-cropped version):

UHS Director: "No more stigma attached to the Slut Virus"

2009-05-15T21:54:00.007-04:00

Oh boy. It seems Harvard has declared this to be a campus-wide "Piss Students Off Because You Act Like You Want Them to Die" week.

First the shuttles, and now here is your University Health Services director managing to get through a whole Crimson article without calling any dudes pregnant, but that's only because he says something even dumber:

He noted to The Crimson that HIV/AIDS is "becoming less of a stigma, so there’s really less and less of a reason for being tested anonymously."
[snip]
In an e-mail that was forwarded to various campus lists last night, Ellison wrote that when Rosenthal was asked by one of her students "what kind of person" should get HIV/AIDS testing, the UHS director responded, "promiscuous" people.

Haha do you see what he did there? He said there was no more stigma attached to HIV, and then attached a stigma to it, and then used both of those as reasons to cancel anonymous testing? That is why it is funny. DO YOU GET IT?!?!?!

(and btw he says that "promiscuous" comment was in a "private" conversation, which totally would have made it ok except he should have known that all the kids these days have "audio-recording Twitter bloggy thing" machines embedded directly into their rib cages, so he should just keep his mouth shut)

Well now, as students are wont to do during exams period (pun coming! get ready!), they are staging a "test-in" on Wednesday, where they will all go get tested anonymously, together, as a protest slash last chance before it ends up on every political vetting record for the rest of their lives. Hooray!

A guide to the Harvard deans who are trying to get you mugged

2009-05-14T12:27:00.014-04:00

(See Tyler's post for some more fun with this photo)

(click to enlarge)

Here are your lovable Harvard administrators cheating by walking through Cambridge Common with seven friends in broad daylight, in order to avoid the awkward photo of them all taking the shuttle to the Quad like 10 minutes after they canceled all shuttles, forever, except the ones to Longwood.

But who are these people you've never met before who want you to walk back in the middle of the night and thus get hit over the head with blunt objects and whatnot? Here's a handy guide to the deans labeled in the picture, to help you connect faces with your blind rage:

1. Judith Kidd, Associate Dean of Student Life and Activities: She's smiling and leading the pack because she won't be around next year to receive all the complaints and ransom notes.

2. Jay Harris, Dean of Undergraduate Education: Ignoring for a moment the fact that he's the Cabot House Master so there's no way he should be on board with this, I'm not sure what he's thinking walking out front in such an exposed position like that. I mean, if I were choosing whom to rob first, I would totally go for the most Jewish-looking person in the world. No offense meant, it's just a matter of maximizing efficiency.

3. Evelynn Hammonds, Dean of Harvard College: The Dick Cheney to Drew Faust's George W. Bush, Hammonds joked at a meeting with students that "I wore orange so if there were tomatoes they wouldn’t show," which means not only does she want us all to be killed, she also doesn't know what color a damn tomato is.

4. Paul McLoughlin, Assistant Dean of Harvard College: Justified the cuts to late-night service by noting that "shuttle service ended at 12:30 a.m. every night before 2004." Of course, there was a certain Assistant Dean (what was his name?) who back in 2003-'04 "instituted the Harvard University Campus Escort Program (HUCEP) in response to growing concern over pedestrian safety following a rash of on-campus assaults" and said that "HUCEP is one of the things I’m most proud of." Man, I miss that guy. He really cared about students' safety.

Adminstrators Walk to the Quad

2009-05-14T09:36:00.006-04:00

"It's Definitely the Harvard of Scholastics"

2009-05-13T03:26:00.003-04:00

"Wouldn't that be Harvard?"

Hilarious segment from last night's Daily Show:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

Arizona State Snubs Obama

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Economic Crisis

Political Humor

Barack Obama treats Larry Summers like a sexist infant, because, well, he sorta is.

2009-05-10T22:25:00.008-04:00

Here are a couple of well-received (???) jokes from the President at yesterday's White House Correspondents' Dinner, referring to Summers' fun Harvard tenure and the nap-time that he's worked into his current job:

Season Finale: Ice To Know You

2009-05-04T15:36:00.002-04:00

Need help finding a summer job?
Want to win a night's stay in the hottest room on campus?
And learn how to skate from Emily Hughes '11!
(Plus, we pay tribute to Derek in his last episode as anchor)

..All in the Season 3 finale of On Harvard
Time!

Click here for more On Harvard Time

Episode 13: Lesser of Two Evils

2009-04-28T17:35:00.001-04:00

Dean Smith: Evil or Stupid?
How cool is this new crop of prefrosh?
And what is the Faculty Club really like?

..All in this week's episode of On Harvard
Time!

Click here for more On Harvard Time