Online Dating Paradox

Do Online Dating Matching Systems Work?

guestwriter — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 03:16:10 +0000

Many singles turn to online dating websites because they’re tired of bad dates suggested by friends, family and coworkers and are ready to take matters into their own hands. Others use online dating websites specifically for their computer matching services which offer suggestions of potential partners based on complicated algorithms that are fueled by lengthy questionnaires. But with many of the top computer matching services requiring singles to invest around an hour into creating their profile, it’s not surprising that busy singles are skeptical of making such a time investment without truly knowing whether these systems work. Moreover, compatibility matching dating sites often cost more than traditional sites that allow singles to find their own matches, leaving many singles wondering whether they are worth the added investment.

As one who has tested and researched nearly a dozen of the best online dating sites, I’ve had the opportunity to use several online dating matching systems, and to see with my own eyes which ones truly offer relevant and interesting match suggestions. If you’re considering using an online dating site that offers computer matching, read my findings below to see which sites are worth using and which can use a bit of a technical tune-up.

Personality Matching – Some Options

To begin with, it’s worth noting that some personality matching dating sites allow users to search for their own matches while receiving match suggestions. Others, such as eHarmony, only allow singles to receive suggestions without browsing the company’s membership base. Having tried both options, my suggestion would be to start with a site that offers both search options. This is important because not only does it expand your options, but it allows you to see what type of people are registered for the site, so you can gauge whether there are ample options for you to choose from.

Another notable feature offered by some sites such as PerfectMatch is the guarantee of a certain number of match suggestions during the scope of your membership. This is an excellent way for singles to know that their time in creating their profile will yield some (hopefully worthwhile) results.

Which Dating Services Work Best

More and more dating websites are offering personality matching options as part of their package, but few make this the core of their service as do eHarmony, PerfectMatch and Chemistry.com. These three online dating websites have developed the most complex and comprehensive technology for providing relevant match suggestions. If you were to test the ‘match suggestion’ services of traditional dating sites against those offered by the top three, you’ll see there is no comparison in the quality and relevancy of the matches suggested. Consequently, if you’re seriously interested in a personality matching service, it’s best to stick with a company that focuses specifically on this approach to the dating process.

One thing that I noticed repeatedly during my research was that filling out personality profiles and reading the personality assessments that came with them gave me tremendous insights into my own personality and gave me things to consider about how I approached potential mates. Although all of the top personality matching dating sites offered some form of personality assessment, I was especially impressed by that offered by eHarmony, which not only described me to a T, but also offered insights into what my personality traits meant, which allowed me to understand how I interact with others, especially potential partners.

The assessment offered PerfectMatch was also relatively accurate, though I did find some discrepancies that highlighted the fact that computer algorithms aren’t always perfect. For example, my Chemistry.com assessment suggested that I’m risk averse (which is true), but that a personality that works well with mine would be that of a risk taker. Needless to say, I had visions of myself on a date with someone who wanted to go skydiving while I preferred to stay back and photograph the event. It could work, but it didn’t sound like an ideal scenario.

I found the Chemistry.com analysis to be relevant, but a bit more confusing to interpret, so it didn’t hold my interest as strongly as the others. For example, while eHarmony labeled me as a ‘agreeable’ and PerfectMatch noted that I was ‘high energy and optimistic’, Chemistry.com classified me as a ‘builder’ with a secondary tendency towards being a ‘negotiator’. True, I do love to build complex projects and to resolve conflicts with negotiation, the descriptions of the personality types were hardly relevant. For example, Chemistry.com describes a builder as someone social, patient and dependable, which, while admirable qualities, don’t truly jive with what a builder means.

Final Thoughts

I have no doubts that technological matching services offer excellent benefits for singles who are looking for highly compatible partners and committed, long-term relationships. Singles should take time to fill the questionnaires with thoughtfulness so that they increase their chances of finding success, even if it takes a while to complete. The high cost of these dating sites in comparison with traditional online dating services may be a bit of a turn-off, but I found that the high cost limited the membership to those who were truly invested in finding a partner. I didn’t mind that there were fewer members on these sites than on traditional dating sites. After all, there are still thousands of potential matches to consider, and you only need to find one perfect partner. With your own investment and the help of technology, your ideal companion may only be a few clicks away.

This article was contributed by Sari Holtz of Consumer-Rankings.com.
Sari is a professional product reviewer who contributes regularly to Consumer-Rankings.com, a website that offers web hosting reviews, as well as reports and ranks of the top dating sites, online tax software and more.

Online Dating Horror Stories You Can Avoid

guestwriter — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:12:40 +0000

I have a good friend Sara, who recently met the man of her dreams (John) through an online dating service. Or, at least that’s what she thought. She had been very careful about the information she exposed about herself online, and has a ruthless screening process when it comes to choosing men to meet in a public place for a first date. However, despite all this, she still became a victim to the online dating horror stories which have become so common across the Internet.

After several meetings in public, she started getting really serious with John and began to trust him enough to exchange phone numbers, addresses and even invited him into her home a few times. Finally, after several weeks of dating exclusively, they planned a weekend getaway to the islands to try and relax. She couldn’t believe how her love life had finally seemed to start falling into place!

While away on their romantic vacation together, Sara happened across a cell phone in John’s bag that didn’t look familiar while looking for his sunglasses he had requested. When she looked at the phone, there was a message from a woman named Jen that simply stated “Where are you?” If that wasn’t enough, the screensaver was a picture of John and a blonde attractive woman, along with two young boys.

Sara confronted John about the phone and he claimed that the picture was that of his ex-wife and children. Up until now, he had never disclosed the fact that he had ever been married nor had children. Unfortunately, things started to unravel after returning home and Sara eventually discovered that John was, in fact, still married to the woman in the picture and living at home with her. No wonder he preferred meeting at her place or at a hotel!

What Went Wrong?

The moral of Sara’s story is that if she would have exercised due diligence in researching the most obvious things in John’s past (such as marriage records and divorce records) to determine his fitness as a first date, she could have saved herself a ton of time and heartbreak. She didn’t realize until it was too late that the online dating site she used to find John did not conduct thorough background checks on its members to determine if their claimed marital status and history was truthful.

What Can You Do?

Fortunately, there are services out there that allow online daters to enjoy the peace of mind that comes with knowing for certain that your date does not have any divorce or marriage records in his or her past. Before you ever get too involved to be emotionally charged about the person you’re seeing or considering dating seriously, you must take it upon yourself to ensure you know about any marriage records or divorce records in their past.

You also want to ensure the service you use to search for these types of records has the most accurate and up-to-date information available in both private and public databases. Sites such as eVerify.com can help you navigate marriage and divorce records in a potential date’s past so you don’t become one of the many Internet dating horror stories across the web like Sara.

This is a guest post by contributing writer Ann

How To Write a Good Dating Profile That Is Impressive

guestwriter — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 15:39:42 +0000

If you are registered with a dating website, you must be aware of how difficult it is to go through a number of profiles and shortlist a few from them. Some profiles attract with a dashing pic but the inside information makes us reject them. And, the ones that do not have attractive display pictures automatically get rejected.

Now think of other people who face similar issues when they visit your profile. Some may find your profile picture really nice, however a boring, sulking or whining bio will turn them off. Or some may simply ignore your profile because your display pic just doesn’t catch their eye.

Dating websites are increasing in number every day, thus giving you more and more profiles to select from. But will your profile stand out to get noticed by your prospective partners? Yes, it can, if you have an impressive profile.

I had no idea about a profile being good or bad until I myself jumped into the dating world. I had friends who would show me some profiles of guys and girls and then laugh at them. Some had weird ambitions while others had a weird sense of dressing; some thought they are too smart to have anyone in their arms, while there were few who looked sad as if they created the profile right after their last partner dumped them.

The mockery my friends made of some profiles made me think about my own profile. I gave a serious thought to why would anyone want to view my profile. I asked my friends what they thought would look cool on a profile page. After a lot of brain storming sessions with friends with different thoughts, ideas and beliefs, I was able to gather enough information around what would make my profile page look impressive enough to force the visitor leave me a message.

If you really want to find a date online, make sure you filter your profile. Filter essentially means specifying clearly through option based questions what exactly you are looking for in a partner. Based on your answers, the website shows you the best matches. If you do not use filter, you will get to see everyone and thus the fraction of people who are actually looking for a person like you will go down sharply. Thus you may end up receiving hundreds of proposals from people you don’t want to be contacted from. So, make sure that you set the filters right for your profile.

We have all heard that first impression is the last impression. And, what can give a better impression than a profile picture that speaks on your behalf. Though looks don’t matter for everyone, but when it comes to scanning thousands of profiles, anyone would like to click the pages with a decent, if not a dashing pic.

I always make sure I put up one of my recent pictures so that when my date meets me, he doesn’t get confused with the one he saw on the dating site. It is a good idea to have a recent pic which is clear and preferably a close up shot. This will let others have a clear picture of you in their heads.

One of my friends always used a celebrity’s picture on her page. Though she managed to get good responses, she never got a date. When she asked me the reason, I told her I would never like to meet someone who doesn’t want to show his real side to the world. Why does he want to hide behind a celebrity’s picture? She got the point and posted her real pic. You won’t believe the next time I met her, she had dates set up with 2 guys already.

The one who hits on your profile, would like to know more about you, and just like your display picture, he would expect your bio also to be interesting. Include positive words in your bio instead of negative words. Focus more on sharing about your likes and dislikes than writing about what you hate the most. It is always better to describe the type of person you are looking for than say who should not contact you or what kind of people you are not looking for. Read this-

“My boyfriend recently cheated on me and we broke up a month back. Now I am looking for some serious relationship. All those seeking time pass relationships, please do not try to contact me.”

Now read this:

“I am looking for a loyal and trustworthy partner who believes in long term relationship and who is willing to have a life long relationship with me.”

When you include positive words, it gives a much better impression than all those negative statements. Show the world how happy you are and how anyone who becomes your partner would have a lovely time with you.

Use adjectives and attractive words to describe yourself. Think about your qualities, what is the best thing about you. If you think your sense of humor is great, you can add it in your profile. If you think you have got long legs that men desire the most, specify them.

Write something like this-

“Want to laugh out loud? Come, meet me. My jokes will set you rolling on the floor.” Or something like this:
“My big eyes and long legs make me stand out. What follows in the list is my smile that can set everything, even your mood.”

Such sentences make others imagine you. They would want to know more about you or they would get an idea about the type of person you are. This largely helps in getting more people to respond to you.

Unfortunately I never had the figure men would die for or the long legs men desire the most. What I had was some kind of simplicity and I focused on it. Surprisingly most men I met liked the fact that I am simple and I am quite open about it.

My friends would often show me profiles of men who write so much about their manliness or their cool attitude that it looked cheap stuff copied from some websites. Men usually like to copy paste a lot. They like to use the same cheap pick up lines on all the girls they meet. Please avoid doing that. Do not even use such lines to describe your self. Cheap stuff will always remain cheap, even if a millionaire uses it.

Also, you must not fake anything. Some people are smart enough to sense the false components in a profile. This will count negative for you. Most men I met mentioned to me that they liked me being vocal and true about my simplicity. I told them I believe you get nothing by lying. Once you come face to face with your dating partner, your truth is out. This happened with me when I went to meet one of the guys I met on a dating website. The minute I met him, I sensed that he was a body of lies. He didn’t look the same, his beliefs and his likes were all customized to flatter me. I couldn’t sit with him for more than twenty minutes and I told him I don’t want to talk to him because he lied to me.

If you get confused about how to write a good dating profile, do what I usually do. I go through the profiles of people I have been attracted to. I try to figure out what special they have done that has attracted me and I try to incorporate similar things in my profile. You can do the same and make your profile impressive.

Manali (Vaish) Arora is the Co-Founder of www.riflebirds.com – Love, Dating, Relationships and More. She writes articles for her own website and is also a professional contributor to a number of websites as well as print media.

How to Tell If Your Internet Date is into You

guestwriter — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 16:17:19 +0000

It’s more common than ever to meet people online before you meet them in person. The internet has changed the way we date – but has it changed how we view our first date as well?

If you’ve met a woman online and you’re about to meet up for real, it’s worth looking out for the following signals. They could help you figure out whether the date is going well or not.

Does she seem really pleased to see you?

It is easy to worry about whether or not your date will actually be happy when she finally meets you. Remember that she has already said yes, so that is a good start.

That said, when you first meet, pay attention to whether she looks delighted to see you, (and if so, be glad and enjoy it!) Watch also to see if her smile extends to her eyes. If she is truly happy her eyes will reveal the truth.

If she doesn’t look as genuinely pleased as you would like, don’t despair, not every first date will hit a flying start. Don’t get discouraged, and remember to enjoy your night.

Look for eye contact – and plenty of it

When we enjoy a lot of eye contact with someone it means we’re interested in them. The biggest giveaway is if she focuses on you while you are looking elsewhere. Say for example you’re both standing at the bar and you’re ordering drinks. Take a surreptitious look out of the corner of your eye. If your date is looking at you, you’re doing well.

Remember that the reverse of this is true too, let her know that you are interested by making eye contact lots (but try not to stare too much). Remember that she needs reassurance too.

Does she keep looking at her watch?

If you catch your date doing this – even craftily under the table – things don’t look good. If you take a woman out on a date and it goes incredibly well, she’ll get lost in time and the last thing she’ll be looking at is her watch.

The occasional glance isn’t always a disaster of course, but stay alert and if she looks ready to leave, consider moving the conversation on, asking about her will re-engage her and could save your date.

Is she smiling and laughing?

It goes without saying that you want to enjoy each other’s company. If she’s enjoying yours she’ll be smiling a lot and laughing at the stories you tell her. This is the time to roll out a bad joke to see what reaction it gets. If she loves it you know she’s hooked!

Does she look lost in thought?

This could be a good or a bad sign – depending on how the beginning of your date has gone thus far. If it has gone well you can take it as a good sign – it could mean she’s wondering what the future holds. If your date hasn’t gone so well, you can take it as a bad sign – a sign that she’s thinking about how to let you down gently and escape as quickly as she can.

Summary

Whenever you agree to set up a date with a woman you met online, the trick is to make the most of it. You’ll never know how it could turn out unless you meet up with her and find out, and if you look out for the signals mentioned above you’ll know exactly how well – or not – your date is progressing.

Author Bio
This post was written by Ricky from PassionSearch. Ricky is a romantic and a geek, who lives for love and not just superficial dating.

Online Dating After Divorce – Getting Back into the Game

guestwriter — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:41:58 +0000

A marriage is supposed to last forever, but we all know life doesn’t always turn out how we expect. Things change and so do we; it doesn’t mean you have to give up on love. Getting a divorce is an incredibly traumatic and draining process. But once you’ve got through it, when is the right time to start dating again?

Well the answer is… there isn’t one. Sorry, but only you know when you’re ready to get back into the dating game. The most important thing to remember is not to rush into anything. You’re unlikely to be searching for another marriage so soon, so now is the time to relax and enjoy being on your own! But there are a few steps to take when you’re ready to start online dating after divorce:

What are your hobbies?

We’re all guilty of the occasional fib but your online dating profile should be a true representation of you. If not, what’s the point? So, writing in your profile that you love white water rafting just to impress a potential date will only end in disaster! If you prefer long walks on the beach and cooking at home, say so, there is likely to be a likeminded person out there who you can share your interests with. And if you’re struggling to write your online profile, it’s never too late to find a (real) new hobby.

In a relationship, things can sometimes get in the way of us pursuing our interests. Maybe you had a passion, but your other half wasn’t interested? If you did, now is the perfect time to rekindle your interest in an old hobby. You may even meet someone! If not it’ll give you the chance to be the person you may have always wanted to be – and create an honest online dating profile.

Make time for friends and family

Although it’s great to put yourself out there and meet new people, make sure you take your friends and family along for the ride. You’re moving on with your life, but it doesn’t mean you have to leave the people you care about behind. Make sure that you don’t focus all your efforts on finding a new partner; make time for your friends and family. Caring for others is an attractive trait to have. But it’s okay to be selfish sometimes too.

Don’t forget to find time for yourself

In a long relationship it’s easy to get wrapped up in other people’s lives and forget to find time for yourself. Go to the gym, exercise classes, anything! When you’re married it can be tempting to let yourself go a bit. Everyone does! But now you’re single, it’s important to start taking care of yourself. The healthier you feel the more confident and positive you’ll be about the future. And happiness and confidence will make you more attractive for when you do find your perfect date!

But most of all remember not to put any pressure on yourself to find the perfect partner online. Dating after a divorce doesn’t have to be a grueling chore, you are free now, so just relax and have a good time!

This was a guest post by contributor Sarah

Jenny McCarthy Using Match.com Dating Site

Matt Savage — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 04:18:26 +0000

I know this is old news, but it is new to me, especially since I don’t pay too much attention to entertainment or celebrity gossip, but apparently former playmate Jenny McCarthy has admitted to using the Match.com dating site and is even looking for a “Nice Guy” on it. Of course, this just goes to show how out of touch I am since I didn’t even know that she had broken up with Jim Carrey.

Apparently Ms. McCarthy has setup a Match profile which people would not recognize her profile as herself. She says that she uses a picture of her sister in the profile and is fairly vague about revealing any details that might identify her on the website. And while this tactic of using a fake picture is typically frowned upon in the Internet dating world, I’m sure that the lucky guy who managed to land a date with her probably wouldn’t mind, at least I know I wouldn’t (Jenny email me!).

So I suppose the real question is why does Jenny McCarthy, a gorgeous celebrity, need to even set foot on an online dating site like Match.com or any other dating service? Well, from what she told Radar in an interview, was that she doesn’t like guys from Los Angeles and that they are not normal men.

“I mean, I don’t know. It’s so hard out here [in L.A.]. The guys are like chicks out here,” she said. “There’s no real guy guys, so maybe importing from somewhere will be smart. Anyone not from L.A. I think.”

Actually, this seems understandable to me, since I’m sure that living in Hollywood and living the celebrity life style gets to a bit much after awhile. In addition, the dating between the celebrities themselves appears more like a drama filled soap opera than anything resembling a real relationship.

From what we know about Jenny McCarthy is that she’s a pretty cool down to Earth chick and in my opinion unlikely to want to get caught up in the Hollywood dating circus. In addition, her seeking out a more manly man who has a normal job seems like it would be more of a relief than not have to be dealing with some high maintenance movie star.

So far she has only indicated that she has browsed Match for men who are between 35 to 48 years old, but has not said whether she has actually gone on any dates from the site. However, it will certainly be interesting to see if she does go on a date via Match.com and then hearing about the lucky guy that gets that date. Man, I would love to see the face on a guy expecting a normal date to show up but then Jenny McCarthy pops in, oh man… And I wouldn’t be surprised if she follows through with the whole online dating thing, since she has already been on the show Millionaire Matchmaker with Patti Stanger.

Does Ashley Madison Work?

Matt Savage — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 21:23:54 +0000

While it is hard to quantify whether any online dating website works for anyone, or whether one site is more trustworthy in it’s business practices than others, I feel that there is some evidence out there that suggests that Ashley Madison is used and does work for some people.

Though I have personally never used the site, I will point out a few people who have written about their experiences using Ashley Madison, along with their approach to finding dates or potential affairs on the site. And while these experiences are limited to particular people’s experiences, hopefully the anecdotal evidence is enough to help you decide if Ashley Madison works or not.

Ashley and Me by Riff dog

One of the best examples of the Ashley Madison site working for someone is from the Ashley and Me blog run by notorious extramaterial affair aficionado, Riff Dog. Not only are Riff Dog’s stories of his many affairs entertaining, he also shows how advantageous the site would be for a man with the proper approach of seeking out an affair.

Update – 2/28/12: unfortunately the Ashley and Me blog has been deleted from the Interwebs and is no longer available.

However, the problem here is that it is clear from Riff Dog’s stories that he is no average man. In fact, it appears that he has somewhat of a background, or at least knowledge in the field of seduction, either that or he is a natural. Regardless, while he is definitely out of the norm of an average man’s experience with the Ashley Madison dating site, it does show the potential that the site may provide given the right attitude and experience.

The Nerve’s Ashley Madison Experiment

The fantastic Nerve.com did a nice experiment and write-up a few years ago about one of their male writer’s, Jack Harrison, attempts at setting out to see how well he could do at having affairs with married women.

Interestingly, Jack’s first attempts failed miserably, though mostly because of his approach. He had initially listed that he was a single man, and only contacted women with pictures. After this he made two big discoveries that significantly increased the amount of legitimate messages he received from married women. So what were the two big changes he made?

First, he switched his status to ‘attached male seeking females’ and though it was somewhat of a stretch of the truth for him, he surmised that married women are more likely to trust other men in the same situation as them, i.e. married but looking for an affair.
The second big change that Jack made was to message a bunch of women who had no pictures at all. Unlike regular online dating sites, he concluded that since people who use Ashley Madison need to be very discreet, then the more legitimate men and women are the ones who are actively trying to hide their identity.

In the end, using his new techniques, Jack did end up seeing multiple women and having affairs with a few of them. And this was his conclusion on whether Ashley Madison works:

Ashley Madison works. Like most — if not all — internet dating sites, it’s probably much easier if you’re a woman, and it helps if you’re not too picky. But there are definitely a lot of people out there looking for affairs.

Is Ashley Madison a Scam? – Skeptical Reviews

While I’ve only presented two male experiences in using the site so far, it would be biased of me if I didn’t present views from people who use AshleyMadison.com that had bad experiences, are skeptical of whether or not it works and those that claim that it is an outright scam.

The following site, has many Ashley Madison reviews in which users can submit their experiences. And after reading through a handful of the reviews, you will notice that there are many unhappy customers who either claim that it just didn’t work for them or that they somehow felt scammed out of their money.

Conclusion

So with all of that being said, in my personal opinion, using AshleyMadison.com is like using any other online dating site, in that it depends on how you approach the site, how much work you are willing to put into creating a good profile, how many people you contact, what gender you are, and how attractive you are. Based on those qualities, yes, it is definitely possible that Ashley Madison can work for someone, though like any other dating option, a lot of people will be left out in the cold.

What do you think? Please let us all know your opinion in the comments. Also, if you’ve had an experience on the site, please be sure to write that in the comments below as well. Cheers!

How to Delete Your Cupid Account

Matt Savage — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 21:16:53 +0000

Like most dating sites, deleting your account from Cupid.com can be a little confusing to figure out, but don’t worry, below are step by step instructions with screen shots that show how to delete your Cupid account and profile. Also note that these instructions are for Cupid.com which is a different dating site than OkCupid.com (Go here to delete your OkCupid account).

Step 1

Log in to your Cupid.com account and look for the ‘My Account’ link at the top of the page and click it as shown in the following image:

Step 2

You should now be on your account page where you scroll down the page until you see three columns of buttons labeled ‘My Profile:’, ‘Account:’ and ‘Upgrades’. Then look down the ‘Account’ column until you see the button labeled ‘Remove Account’ and click on it as shown in the next image:

Step 3

You will now be taken to a pre-removal page where you will have to enter your Cupid password in order to confirm the removal of your account as shown in the next image:

Step 4

By now you should be on the Stage 2 Pre-removal page of Cupid.com. You will need to scroll down and find a column of radio buttons which include options for taking you off the mailing list, hiding your profile, both unsubscribing from the mailing list and hiding your profile, and finally the forth option is to remove your profile and account completely. Be sure to click on the forth option to remove your profile and then click on the ‘Continue’ button as shown in the next image:

Step 5

You will now be on the Pre-Removal Stage 3 page that asks you why you are leaving. And though this is just another veiled attempt to frustrate you and keep you to stay, don’t give in, and click on either the ‘I cannot afford the prices’ radio button or the ‘Other’ radio button (Note: choosing any of the other radio buttons will only side track you even more and take more steps to delete) and then clicking the ‘Continue’ button as show in the next image:

Step 6

Finally, we get to the last pre-removal page (stage 4) which is Cupid.com’s last ditch attempt to convince you to stay on their dating site. And not only do they try to convince you, but they also trick you by not making it clear which button to press. Most people would likely press the ‘Yes, Please’ button thinking that it means “yes, please finally remove my f#@cing account” but instead it confirms that you want to stay which means you’d have to go through this whole process again. However, I’ve already gone through this multiple times for you and know that you want to click the ‘No Thanks’ button as shown in the next image:

Step 7

You are then shown the obligatory “Thank you for using Cupid.com” page which then tries to make it seem like you are the faulty one for not realizing how great Cupid is… the nerve of those guys. In addition it says that you can restore your account by logging back in, which is pretty sketchy because this means that they still have your information in their database even though they’ve removed all your profile stuff from the website. Unfortunately I don’t know how to get them to delete all your info from their database outside of constantly harassing them. Your best bet is to simply never go back to the site again and certainly never login again, unless you really want to…

After this you will likely get an email from them in your inbox confirming the removal of your account and profile. Also at the bottom of this email is Cupid Plc.’s contact phone number of 1 (212) 796-6946, which may or may not be useful if you want to call and have them completely remove your information from their database.

Hope that was useful and if you have any other questions on this process, please feel free to write them in the comments below and I’ll do my best to find an answer for you

How to Delete Your OkCupid Account

Matt Savage — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 21:07:29 +0000

I know it’s tough to find out how to delete profiles from any online dating site, since many try their best to keep you from leaving, but fortunately OkCupid is one of the better sites in this regard. Below you will find a step by step guide on how to remove your account from OKC.

Step 1

First, log in to your OkCupid.com account and go to the main page. You should see your profile picture in the upper left hand corner with three small links to the right of it, listed as ‘My Profile’, ‘Upload a Photo’, and ‘Settings’. You want to click on the ‘Settings’ link as shown in the following image:

Step 2

Now you will be on the Settings page where you should see a row of tabbed links near the top listed as: ‘Account’, ‘Hidden Users’, ‘IMs’, and ‘Delete/Disable’. You want to click on the ‘Delete/Disable’ tab link as shown in the next image:

Step 3

Now you will be on the ‘Delete/Disable’ tab and will be shown two different options for what to do with your account. It’s useful to read what’s on this page since it might be important in your final decision.

The first option of deleting your account is PERMANENT and all information is removed from OkCupids databased with the exception of the User Name that you used. This is important because if you ever wanted to use that user name again, it will be forever locked away. The good news is that should you decide to create a brand new OKC account, then you will be able to use your old email to sign up again. Just be warned though, everything else will be completely deleted from their database and unrecoverable.

The second option which is much safer and recommended is to disable your account. This makes your profile appear as if it has been deleted by other people on the site. However, if you did choose to go back to the site some day, you still be able to recover your profile as you left it and still be able to use your user name.

Step 4

Once you’ve decide whether you want to either delete or disable your account and profile, then scroll down to the bottom of the page. Check off any of the check boxes to indicate why you are leaving. Then enter your password below that, and finally click on either the ‘Delete’ or ‘Disable’ button as show in the image below:

Once you click the ‘Delete’ button, you will likely get a pop asking to confirm it one last time and if you are sure you want to go through with it, then go ahead and click the ‘Ok’ button.

That’s it!

Hopefully you were successful in accomplishing what you wanted, but if not, and you still have questions or you are still confused by the OkCupid deletion process then feel free to ask in the comments below and I will do my best find an answer for you

Why Your Dating Site Date Won’t Call

guestwriter — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 21:16:04 +0000

We all know immediately when a date isn’t working out. There are awkward pauses, uncomfortable silence and the feeling that we would be better off at home, alone in our pajamas watching whatever was on television. But sometimes, after meeting someone particularly special on a dating site, the date will go great. The two of you are engaged and energetic and really seem to enjoy each other’s company. At the end of the date there are promises to get together soon. And then nothing. Nothing happens. Your phone doesn’t ring. Your email box remains empty. You scour your memory of the night of the date trying to recall if you said or did anything wrong. But your conscious is clear.

It’s an age-old dilemma that daters have been puzzling about forever. After experiencing a wonderful evening out where two people seem to hit it off, enjoy each other’s company and had a lot of fun, why does one person suddenly disappear? Obviously, there are many reasons why that might happen, and most of the time, you will never know. Initially, you might think the worst has occurred because you cannot actually believe he’s avoiding you after the terrific time you had. But as realization sets in, you realize he’s not going to call and you will always wonder why.

It’s all about the timing. As tired as many of you may be hearing that excuse, it’s often the case. Sometimes, certain people are simply not ready to begin a serious relationship. They probably did have a great time with you on your date, but if they sense that you are looking for someone who is in it for the long run, they may get cold feet and bail. Avoiding and ignoring you is not the most mature way to handle things, but many people take this escape route to avoid conflict or confrontation.

A friend of mine had two amazing dates with a guy who seemed genuinely interested in her. They had met on a dating site and their first date was spectacular; the second date was even better. And then he was gone. Just like that. She went through the typical, “what did I do wrong?” phase, and then she realized she did nothing wrong. Eventually, she wound up calling him after a month had gone by and asked him point blank why he never contacted her. He told her he was scared to get involved. He thought she was amazing, but he wasn’t ready to see one person exclusively. He admitted to being a coward. He apologized profusely. She told him he was a fool and hung up the phone.

Online dating is a wonderful, modern way to meet people, but it can also leave your date with the feeling that you are easily dispensable. They may cut off contact entirely and believe there will be no ramifications. They simply disappear out of your life as quickly as they entered it. The best thing to do if this has happened to you is to let it go and move on. As difficult as that might be, it’s fruitless for you to try and get his attention back after he’s decided not to call you. He’s not ready. For whatever reason, he’s not capable of being in a relationship right now. So move on and find someone who treats you respectfully and calls you to thank you for an amazing date.

About the Author: Debbie Lamedman is a highly sought after dating expert. She writes regularly for datingsite.org