I don’t understand the concept of going without food for any reason.  I was a part of a spiritual fast once that was supposed to last a full week, and I caved after two days.  I’m a fluffy foodie, and being without food was just awful.  It was my security blanket.  Fast forward to a couple of years later, and here I am on this cleanse.

You mean my immunity and my digestive tract work together?

I started doing a lot of research online about cleansing.  And to my surprise, I discovered that the digestive tract and the immune system are linked.  I didn’t realize that an unhealthy digestive system contributed to a host of health conditions (science was never my thing).  I realized that maybe I should consider a cleanse after taking a serious look at my own health.  Maybe I could actually make it past the two-day mark.

To cleanse or not to cleanse

I decided to go for it.  When I was weighing the benefits of doing a cleanse, I honestly believed at the time  that making it to the three-day mark would be wonderful for my digestive system.  The goal was seven days, but I’d made up my mind that if I could make it through Day 3, I’d just keep it going for an additional four more days.

Made it

And so here I am on Day 8.  I’ve made it to Day 8 and I’m ecstatic.  I’m now seriously looking at doing this for an entire month.  My digestive system never felt so calm.  And I’ve never been so “regular”.   I have to say it was worth it.

Changes …

I have experienced a number of changes in myself so far.

1. My cravings have died down.
2. My skin is starting to improve.
3. My skin is starting to have more elasticity to it.  Several people have told me that I’m glowing.
4. I’m regular.
5. The foods I am restricted to seem to digest more easily.
6. I’m able to function on far fewer calories.

But the journey wasn’t easy.

On this cleanse, I experienced some challenges.  So here are some of the cleansing challenges I experienced on this healthy urban lifestyle journey.

1.  Calories.  It’s really hard to eat when you have no cravings.  There were times where I could have easily eaten a carton of strawberries for the entire day because the desire for food just wasn’t there.
2. Muscle fatigue.  I had established this goal a while back to get to exercising twice a day.  But I know myself well enough to know that if I take a break from working out, I’d surely abandon working out altogether.  And I couldn’t risk it.  So I decided to keep it going during the cleanse.  It has been hard because my thighs would hurt, but I still stuck to it.  A lot of the articles online encourage low impact aerobic activity (great, that’s all I can do), and some even advocated paying careful attention to your body while exercising to avoid overexertion.
3. Back pain.  Caffeine withdrawal and weight together contribute to the back pain.  But the back pain is nothing compared to the headaches.
4. Headaches.  I believe in aspirin.  I take them at the slightest hint of pain, but cleansing took that option off the table.   The headache lasted for about two days, but all of my research tells me that this is normal.  They go away.  Eventually.
5. Fatigue.  I expected it to be difficult given my current state of health.  But I don’t fight the urge to sleep.  When I want to sleep, I do.  I’m learning to trust my body to let it do whatever it wants to.

I’ve learned so much throughout this cleansing process.  I’d love to keep this going for a full month.  I don’t know why I didn’t do this earlier.  Well, yes I do.  I wasn’t ready to do it.  You can try one of those cleanse kits, but I did it with water, raw veggies and fruits, and green tea.

Nature’s Secret 5-Day Fast and Cleanse Kit

Friends and family members mean well.  They stare at the plate as you fix it during the holidays.  They gently offer up suggestions on better meals at restaurants.  And for whatever reason, the fluffy girl won’t lose weight.  So why is it so hard for the person to lose weight?

Do fluffy people know how to lose weight?

Believe it or not, most fluffly people know how to lose weight.  They probably know more about weight loss than people who have never struggled with weight.  They may gravitate toward yo-yo diets or quick fix solutions here and there.  They’ve probably put in some time researching weight loss and read a countless number of articles on fitness and dieting. 

Fluffly people know how to lose weight.  I’ve always known how to do it, but it wasn’t my time, yet.  I wasn’t ready.  And this is the case for most fluffly people.  Fluffy people will lose weight when they’re ready to.  Ultimatums, advice and bringing the subject up over and over again will do nothing.

Making someone lose weight

You can’t make someone lose weight.  You can’t badger a person into doing what’s right.  It’s a personal decision to take your life into your hands and work toward becoming a healthier person.  A healthier urban lifestyle is about the individual weighing the risks of continuously going down a dangerous road.  You can’t make any person lose weight.  The person really does have to want it for herself.

Breakthrough

I’ve experimented here and there with short-term fixes in the past.  They were always effective in helping me shed pounds, but truthfully, I didn’t really want to make the urban lifestyle changes I needed to make.   I woke up one morning and decided that I really could take better care of myself.  And I decided that I was capable of losing it all.  There was no conversation with a loved one to be had.  I just decided that the excess weight was officially in my way.   I wanted more energy and had this growing need to feel better.

The body of Stacey English was discovered in a heavily wooded area by several men looking for scrap metal.  The Fulton County Examiner’s Office confirmed that the body discovered belonged to English on Jan. 25. 

The cause of death could not be determined from the initial testing performed.  Within several weeks, additional test results are expected.  But in many cases, the authorities withhold specific information about how the victim died.

The accounts of several friends, the news of prescription medication, and a previous suicide attempt seem to point to a possible mental health issue as the reason behind her death.  Family and friends of the victim say that they don’t believe that English would intentionally harm herself, so this opens the door to some creative thinking.

The family says that she wouldn’t travel to that side of town unwillingly on her own. 

Could she have been meeting with someone on that side of town?  Is there a new friend or person in her circle that no one knew about?

Was this a possible carjacking that went wrong?  The car was found running, and the body was found elsewhere.

Was this an abduction?  She is an attractive woman, so someone from her complex or people she’d come in contact with as a part of her daily routine could have taken an interest in her.  But then again, so could a stranger.

Was she being harassed or stalked?  Why was she asking people around her if they were Satan?  Something or someone around her caused her to become suspicious of certain people.  Why didn’t she suspect that all the people around her were out to harm her?

Did someone tamper with her medication?  If her medication was ever out of her sight, or if she took it with her regularly, this could be a possibility.  In the wrong mental state, could she have ended up in that type of area?

Did she have an undiagnosed mental condition that the family may not have known about?  I don’t see this one as a real possibility because she appears to have a large circle of people she contacted regularly.

The Stacey English timeline is a peculiar one.  It doesn’t make sense for only a small group of people to be familiar with the “erratic behavior” she exhibited during the days leading up to her disappearance.  It just seems like her parents would have picked up on something.

What do you think?

This is a touchy subject in the world of dating. Women are supposed to be open-minded, and date a man because of what he has to offer.  But at the same time, it may not be the best thing to date someone who isn’t as financially stable as he should be.   Should a woman consider the man’s income as a part of what all a man has to offer?

Short Answer:  Yes.

Considering the income of a prospect is important in all cases.  I don’t see a problem with looking at the man’s income as a part of the total package.  Here are some scenarios in which this would matter most.

1. If a woman is in a delicate financial situation, she isn’t in a place to give money to her man when he needs some.  Knowing that her man makes enough to support his lifestyle would offer her peace of mind.
2. If a woman really believes that the man is supposed to be the breadwinner, she might be uncomfortable dating a man who may not be able to earn at least as much as she does.  If a woman has grown up in that type of household, it would be hard for her to adjust to being with someone who makes less than her.
3. When a woman goes out on a date, she may be open to the idea of “going Dutch” or handling the tip.  But to know that she may be in a place where she’ll have to pay for the meal all the time may be a little hard for her to deal with.

Considering the man’s income as a part of the total package is good in most cases.  Perhaps it’s not the best way to evaluate the character or personality of the man, but it’s a known fact that money is one of the most common reasons for divorce in this nation.  It’s safe to assume that most of these married couples started out with casual dating.

I have been mulling over the new information about Phylicia Barnes streaking at a party.  I was thinking about the photos that are supposedly out there of her doing this.  And I got to thinking, why is this significant?  What does this mean, really?  And because all I have is my imagination, I’ll just toss a couple more theories out there. 

Let’s keep the convo going …

One theory is that this story is a cover for the nude picture/child pornography information that got out last fall.  I have several additional theories about the “streaking” news.

What if this story conveniently places more potential parties in the group of suspects?  If you have a larger group of people to consider, you’d be able to spread the blame around more easily …

What if this streaker angle is really about shifting the blame to the Barnes sisters?   It’s easier to blame the sisters if we’re reminded of how Phylicia Barnes was cared for while visiting her Baltimore relatives.

What if this is about trying to prove that Phylicia Barnes had a wild side?  If they can portray her in the most unflattering light, the individuals responsible for her death could be in a better position to walk away blameless.

Finally, what if this story was about leading the authorities to more footage that may be out there by others present during the time the streaking took place?  In the age of Youtube and camera phones, it would be difficult for these photos to not be stashed somewhere on someone’s phone/PC.

Nothing else comes to mind but those things.  Anyway, here’s the information on the Phylicia Barnes story regarding the streaker photos.

And still no arrests …

While we have yet to see an arrest in some of the other missing cases covered here, we may just have an arrest on the way in the Jhessye Shockley case.  According to AZFamily.com, the Glendale Police Department will be moving forward with a search of the Butterfield Station landfill.

The forensic testing on the evidence collected from the Jhessye Shockley apartment has been completed.  Authorities seem to think Jerice Hunter is at the center of this missing black child case.

It’s hard watching the many twists and turns in this case with so many lingering questions about the mother’s possible involvement in her disappearance.

“At our functions, and get-togethers, Jhessye (Shockley) was not herself. I’ve seen marks that led me to believe she was being abused in Jerice’s home,” said Lisa Vance, a relative of Jhessye Shockley.

My husband really loves the show Parks and Recreation. I think it is pretty funny too, but I don’t have the same appreciation for dry humor that he does. He has a lineup of shows he watches on Thursday nights, and because I also have a couple of shows that I like to watch on Thursdays, we decided that we needed to get DVR. We searched Murrieta California free installation online and found that we could get satellite TV with DVR for a reasonable price. Now that we have DVR, we no longer have to fight over the TV on Thursday nights. We used to have shows that we watched together but lately we have found ourselves suffering through the other one’s show, so we decided that we should only watch the shows we like. Since we have different shows that we like, we rarely watch TV together. I miss watching shows together, but it is nice to watch our shows when it is convenient. The DVR has really changed the way we watch TV. Now that we have it, I really cannot imagine life without the DVR.

When I started this journey, I never thought that I’d ever evolve to the point where I’d feel comfortable openly discussing my battle with weight.  I always found it quite odd that it is so hard for Americans to discuss the issue in a more personal way.  You’d think it would be much easier, considering how many of us are overweight.  So here I am, leaping into this subject.  Welcome to my new “Fluffy” series. 

It’s only fitting that I write what I know.  And I know what it’s like to be a big girl.  As an African American woman, I’m definitely not in the minority.

What do big girls eat?

Like most Americans, the fluffy girl eats the typical Western diet.  She probably eats more than someone weighing less.  But it takes a lot more to become overweight than a poor diet alone.  It takes a sedentary lifestyle, personal unresolved issues, and a poor diet.  That’s what my formula was, and I suspect that this is the case for many overweight African American women.

I sometimes eat feelings …

As a big girl, sometimes I eat when I’m anxious, stressed, tired or aggravated.   Although I primarily eat when I’m hungry, I also eat when I’m in one of the aforementioned emotional states.

I eat combined meals …

As of late, I’ve been getting much better at eating smaller, healthier snacks throughout the day.   But I used to regularly go all day without eating, and then I’d make up for lost time at dinner.  By then, I’d feel as though I “earned” the privilege of eating multiple portions at one meal.

Breakthrough

I recognized recently that finding an outlet of some sort helps me better work through these odd emotional spaces I find myself in.  I’ve also found that I feel a little better when I take time for me to walk and decompress.  I recently discovered that eating the right combinations of foods keeps me from going crazy at dinner time.

I’m a work in progress … but we all are.  I’m fluffy and the weight loss journey is still very much a process for me.  I’m excited about finally being able to discuss this important subject openly.

According to multiple reports, the authorities have officially cleared Robert Kirk from St. Louis in the ongoing investigation of missing 36-year-old Stacey English.  The authorities say that Kirk has been cooperative throughout the investigation.

“At this time, there is no evidence linking Mr. Kirk to the disappearance of Ms. English or reason to believe he was involved in any foul play related to her disappearance,” said Atlanta Police Department Spokesperson Carlos Campos.

The English family has recently hired T.J. Ward to assist with the investigation.  Ward is most known for the prominent role he played in the Natalie Holloway case.  Her abandoned vehicle was discovered in December near a lake.  At this time, divers are searching the Lakewood Fairgrounds Lake for additional clues.

I wonder if she was registered on any dating sites or maybe met someone online …

Now we are at a point in the Jhessye Shockley case where we have to entertain the possibility of a homicide.  She has been missing since October and the police believe that she was dead for days before actually being reported missing.  The mother, Jerice Hunter, has been the focal point of this case because of her history of child abuse and the leads provided by the public.

And then there’s the sister’s account …

Police later said Jhessye’s 13-year-old sister told them that she last saw the 5-year-old unresponsive, eyes bruised and hair pulled out, inside her mother’s closet. The teen said their mother often kept Jhessye in the closet without food or water, according to a police probable-cause statement filed in Maricopa County Superior Court. (Source)

The authorities believe that her body is in a landfill.   The authorities may decide to search the landfill.  Each day, 6,000 tons of trash is added to the landfill where Shockley’s body would have eventually ended up.

The Glendale Police Department believes that the case is close to being solved.  Glendale Police Department spokeswoman Tracey Breede commented on the status of the case. “We’re getting closer to solving the case.”

My thoughts

I know that the children are not in Hunter’s custody at this time, but I’d like to know more about what the other children are saying about how they were treated in the home.   I really hope the mother was not involved …